The history says that from the justice court they carried Sancho to a sumptuous1 palace, where in a spacious2 chamber3 there was a table laid out with royal magnificence. The clarions sounded as Sancho entered the room, and four pages came forward to present him with water for his hands, which Sancho received with great dignity. The music ceased, and Sancho seated himself at the head of the table, for there was only that seat placed, and no more than one cover laid. A personage, who it appeared afterwards was a physician, placed himself standing4 by his side with a whalebone wand in his hand. They then lifted up a fine white cloth covering fruit and a great variety of dishes of different sorts; one who looked like a student said grace, and a page put a laced bib on Sancho, while another who played the part of head carver placed a dish of fruit before him. But hardly had he tasted a morsel5 when the man with the wand touched the plate with it, and they took it away from before him with the utmost celerity. The carver, however, brought him another dish, and Sancho proceeded to try it; but before he could get at it, not to say taste it, already the wand had touched it and a page had carried it off with the same promptitude as the fruit. Sancho seeing this was puzzled, and looking from one to another asked if this dinner was to be eaten after the fashion of a jugglery6 trick.
To this he with the wand replied, “It is not to be eaten, senor governor, except as is usual and customary in other islands where there are governors. I, senor, am a physician, and I am paid a salary in this island to serve its governors as such, and I have a much greater regard for their health than for my own, studying day and night and making myself acquainted with the governor’s constitution, in order to be able to cure him when he falls sick. The chief thing I have to do is to attend at his dinners and suppers and allow him to eat what appears to me to be fit for him, and keep from him what I think will do him harm and be injurious to his stomach; and therefore I ordered that plate of fruit to be removed as being too moist, and that other dish I ordered to he removed as being too hot and containing many spices that stimulate7 thirst; for he who drinks much kills and consumes the radical8 moisture wherein life consists.”
“Well then,” said Sancho, “that dish of roast partridges there that seems so savoury will not do me any harm.”
To this the physician replied, “Of those my lord the governor shall not eat so long as I live.”
“Why so?” said Sancho.
“Because,” replied the doctor, “our master Hippocrates, the polestar and beacon9 of medicine, says in one of his aphorisms10 omnis saturatio mala, perdicis autem pessima, which means ‘all repletion11 is bad, but that of partridge is the worst of all.”
“In that case,” said Sancho, “let senor doctor see among the dishes that are on the table what will do me most good and least harm, and let me eat it, without tapping it with his stick; for by the life of the governor, and so may God suffer me to enjoy it, but I’m dying of hunger; and in spite of the doctor and all he may say, to deny me food is the way to take my life instead of prolonging it.”
“Your worship is right, senor governor,” said the physician; “and therefore your worship, I consider, should not eat of those stewed12 rabbits there, because it is a furry13 kind of food; if that veal14 were not roasted and served with pickles15, you might try it; but it is out of the question.”
“That big dish that is smoking farther off,” said Sancho, “seems to me to be an olla podrida, and out of the diversity of things in such ollas, I can’t fail to light upon something tasty and good for me.”
“Absit,” said the doctor; “far from us be any such base thought! There is nothing in the world less nourishing than an olla podrida; to canons, or rectors of colleges, or peasants’ weddings with your ollas podridas, but let us have none of them on the tables of governors, where everything that is present should be delicate and refined; and the reason is, that always, everywhere and by everybody, simple medicines are more esteemed16 than compound ones, for we cannot go wrong in those that are simple, while in the compound we may, by merely altering the quantity of the things composing them. But what I am of opinion the governor should cat now in order to preserve and fortify17 his health is a hundred or so of wafer cakes and a few thin slices of conserve18 of quinces, which will settle his stomach and help his digestion19.”
Sancho on hearing this threw himself back in his chair and surveyed the doctor steadily20, and in a solemn tone asked him what his name was and where he had studied.
He replied, “My name, senor governor, is Doctor Pedro Recio de Aguero I am a native of a place called Tirteafuera which lies between Caracuel and Almodovar del Campo, on the right-hand side, and I have the degree of doctor from the university of Osuna.”
To which Sancho, glowing all over with rage, returned, “Then let Doctor Pedro Recio de Malaguero, native of Tirteafuera, a place that’s on the right-hand side as we go from Caracuel to Almodovar del Campo, graduate of Osuna, get out of my presence at once; or I swear by the sun I’ll take a cudgel, and by dint21 of blows, beginning with him, I’ll not leave a doctor in the whole island; at least of those I know to be ignorant; for as to learned, wise, sensible physicians, them I will reverence22 and honour as divine persons. Once more I say let Pedro Recio get out of this or I’ll take this chair I am sitting on and break it over his head. And if they call me to account for it, I’ll clear myself by saying I served God in killing23 a bad doctor — a general executioner. And now give me something to eat, or else take your government; for a trade that does not feed its master is not worth two beans.”
The doctor was dismayed when he saw the governor in such a passion, and he would have made a Tirteafuera out of the room but that the same instant a post-horn sounded in the street; and the carver putting his head out of the window turned round and said, “It’s a courier from my lord the duke, no doubt with some despatch24 of importance.”
The courier came in all sweating and flurried, and taking a paper from his bosom25, placed it in the governor’s hands. Sancho handed it to the majordomo and bade him read the superscription, which ran thus: To Don Sancho Panza, Governor of the Island of Barataria, into his own hands or those of his secretary. Sancho when he heard this said, “Which of you is my secretary?” “I am, senor,” said one of those present, “for I can read and write, and am a Biscayan.” “With that addition,” said Sancho, “you might be secretary to the emperor himself; open this paper and see what it says.” The new-born secretary obeyed, and having read the contents said the matter was one to be discussed in private. Sancho ordered the chamber to be cleared, the majordomo and the carver only remaining; so the doctor and the others withdrew, and then the secretary read the letter, which was as follows:
It has come to my knowledge, Senor Don Sancho Panza, that certain enemies of mine and of the island are about to make a furious attack upon it some night, I know not when. It behoves you to be on the alert and keep watch, that they surprise you not. I also know by trustworthy spies that four persons have entered the town in disguise in order to take your life, because they stand in dread26 of your great capacity; keep your eyes open and take heed27 who approaches you to address you, and eat nothing that is presented to you. I will take care to send you aid if you find yourself in difficulty, but in all things you will act as may be expected of your judgment28. From this place, the Sixteenth of August, at four in the morning.
Your friend,
The DUKE
Sancho was astonished, and those who stood by made believe to be so too, and turning to the majordomo he said to him, “What we have got to do first, and it must be done at once, is to put Doctor Recio in the lock-up; for if anyone wants to kill me it is he, and by a slow death and the worst of all, which is hunger.”
“Likewise,” said the carver, “it is my opinion your worship should not eat anything that is on this table, for the whole was a present from some nuns29; and as they say, ‘behind the cross there’s the devil.’”
“I don’t deny it,” said Sancho; “so for the present give me a piece of bread and four pounds or so of grapes; no poison can come in them; for the fact is I can’t go on without eating; and if we are to be prepared for these battles that are threatening us we must be well provisioned; for it is the tripes that carry the heart and not the heart the tripes. And you, secretary, answer my lord the duke and tell him that all his commands shall be obeyed to the letter, as he directs; and say from me to my lady the duchess that I kiss her hands, and that I beg of her not to forget to send my letter and bundle to my wife Teresa Panza by a messenger; and I will take it as a great favour and will not fail to serve her in all that may lie within my power; and as you are about it you may enclose a kiss of the hand to my master Don Quixote that he may see I am grateful bread; and as a good secretary and a good Biscayan you may add whatever you like and whatever will come in best; and now take away this cloth and give me something to eat, and I’ll be ready to meet all the spies and assassins and enchanters that may come against me or my island.”
At this instant a page entered saying, “Here is a farmer on business, who wants to speak to your lordship on a matter of great importance, he says.”
“It’s very odd,” said Sancho, “the ways of these men on business; is it possible they can be such fools as not to see that an hour like this is no hour for coming on business? We who govern and we who are judges — are we not men of flesh and blood, and are we not to be allowed the time required for taking rest, unless they’d have us made of marble? By God and on my conscience, if the government remains30 in my hands (which I have a notion it won’t), I’ll bring more than one man on business to order. However, tell this good man to come in; but take care first of all that he is not some spy or one of my assassins.”
“No, my lord,” said the page, “for he looks like a simple fellow, and either I know very little or he is as good as good bread.”
“There is nothing to be afraid of,” said the majordomo, “for we are all here.”
“Would it be possible, carver,” said Sancho, “now that Doctor Pedro Recio is not here, to let me eat something solid and substantial, if it were even a piece of bread and an onion?”
“To-night at supper,” said the carver, “the shortcomings of the dinner shall be made good, and your lordship shall be fully31 contented32.”
“God grant it,” said Sancho.
The farmer now came in, a well-favoured man that one might see a thousand leagues off was an honest fellow and a good soul. The first thing he said was, “Which is the lord governor here?”
“Which should it be,” said the secretary, “but he who is seated in the chair?”
“Then I humble33 myself before him,” said the farmer; and going on his knees he asked for his hand, to kiss it. Sancho refused it, and bade him stand up and say what he wanted. The farmer obeyed, and then said, “I am a farmer, senor, a native of Miguelturra, a village two leagues from Ciudad Real.”
“Another Tirteafuera!” said Sancho; “say on, brother; I know Miguelturra very well I can tell you, for it’s not very far from my own town.”
“The case is this, senor,” continued the farmer, “that by God’s mercy I am married with the leave and licence of the holy Roman Catholic Church; I have two sons, students, and the younger is studying to become bachelor, and the elder to be licentiate; I am a widower34, for my wife died, or more properly speaking, a bad doctor killed her on my hands, giving her a purge35 when she was with child; and if it had pleased God that the child had been born, and was a boy, I would have put him to study for doctor, that he might not envy his brothers the bachelor and the licentiate.”
“So that if your wife had not died, or had not been killed, you would not now be a widower,” said Sancho.
“No, senor, certainly not,” said the farmer.
“We’ve got that much settled,” said Sancho; “get on, brother, for it’s more bed-time than business-time.”
“Well then,” said the farmer, “this son of mine who is going to be a bachelor, fell in love in the said town with a damsel called Clara Perlerina, daughter of Andres Perlerino, a very rich farmer; and this name of Perlerines does not come to them by ancestry36 or descent, but because all the family are paralytics, and for a better name they call them Perlerines; though to tell the truth the damsel is as fair as an Oriental pearl, and like a flower of the field, if you look at her on the right side; on the left not so much, for on that side she wants an eye that she lost by small-pox; and though her face is thickly and deeply pitted, those who love her say they are not pits that are there, but the graves where the hearts of her lovers are buried. She is so cleanly that not to soil her face she carries her nose turned up, as they say, so that one would fancy it was running away from her mouth; and with all this she looks extremely well, for she has a wide mouth; and but for wanting ten or a dozen teeth and grinders she might compare and compete with the comeliest37. Of her lips I say nothing, for they are so fine and thin that, if lips might be reeled, one might make a skein of them; but being of a different colour from ordinary lips they are wonderful, for they are mottled, blue, green, and purple — let my lord the governor pardon me for painting so minutely the charms of her who some time or other will be my daughter; for I love her, and I don’t find her amiss.”
“Paint what you will,” said Sancho; “I enjoy your painting, and if I had dined there could be no dessert more to my taste than your portrait.”
“That I have still to furnish,” said the farmer; “but a time will come when we may be able if we are not now; and I can tell you, senor, if I could paint her gracefulness38 and her tall figure, it would astonish you; but that is impossible because she is bent39 double with her knees up to her mouth; but for all that it is easy to see that if she could stand up she’d knock her head against the ceiling; and she would have given her hand to my bachelor ere this, only that she can’t stretch it out, for it’s contracted; but still one can see its elegance40 and fine make by its long furrowed41 nails.”
“That will do, brother,” said Sancho; “consider you have painted her from head to foot; what is it you want now? Come to the point without all this beating about the bush, and all these scraps42 and additions.”
“I want your worship, senor,” said the farmer, “to do me the favour of giving me a letter of recommendation to the girl’s father, begging him to be so good as to let this marriage take place, as we are not ill-matched either in the gifts of fortune or of nature; for to tell the truth, senor governor, my son is possessed43 of a devil, and there is not a day but the evil spirits torment44 him three or four times; and from having once fallen into the fire, he has his face puckered45 up like a piece of parchment, and his eyes watery46 and always running; but he has the disposition47 of an angel, and if it was not for belabouring and pummelling himself he’d be a saint.”
“Is there anything else you want, good man?” said Sancho.
“There’s another thing I’d like,” said the farmer, “but I’m afraid to mention it; however, out it must; for after all I can’t let it be rotting in my breast, come what may. I mean, senor, that I’d like your worship to give me three hundred or six hundred ducats as a help to my bachelor’s portion, to help him in setting up house; for they must, in short, live by themselves, without being subject to the interferences of their fathers-in-law.”
“Just see if there’s anything else you’d like,” said Sancho, “and don’t hold back from mentioning it out of bashfulness or modesty48.”
“No, indeed there is not,” said the farmer.
The moment he said this the governor started to his feet, and seizing the chair he had been sitting on exclaimed, “By all that’s good, you ill-bred, boorish49 Don Bumpkin, if you don’t get out of this at once and hide yourself from my sight, I’ll lay your head open with this chair. You whoreson rascal50, you devil’s own painter, and is it at this hour you come to ask me for six hundred ducats! How should I have them, you stinking51 brute52? And why should I give them to you if I had them, you knave53 and blockhead? What have I to do with Miguelturra or the whole family of the Perlerines? Get out I say, or by the life of my lord the duke I’ll do as I said. You’re not from Miguelturra, but some knave sent here from hell to tempt54 me. Why, you villain55, I have not yet had the government half a day, and you want me to have six hundred ducats already!”
The carver made signs to the farmer to leave the room, which he did with his head down, and to all appearance in terror lest the governor should carry his threats into effect, for the rogue56 knew very well how to play his part.
But let us leave Sancho in his wrath57, and peace be with them all; and let us return to Don Quixote, whom we left with his face bandaged and doctored after the cat wounds, of which he was not cured for eight days; and on one of these there befell him what Cide Hamete promises to relate with that exactitude and truth with which he is wont58 to set forth59 everything connected with this great history, however minute it may be.
且说桑乔从审判厅来到一座富丽堂皇的宫殿里,那里已经摆上了一张豪华而又十分干净的桌子。桑乔刚走进去,立刻就响起了笛号声,随之走出来四个侍童,为桑乔端来了洗手水。桑乔非常庄重地洗了洗手。笛号声止。桑乔坐到了上首的位置上,其实,也只有那一个位置,而且桌上也只有一套餐具。桑乔身旁还站了一个人,后来才看出来,那是一位医生,他手里拿着一根鲸鱼骨。侍童撤去桌上那块极白的高级毛巾布,露出了各种水果和许多美味佳肴。一个学生模样的人为桑乔祝福,一个侍童为桑乔戴上了镶花边的围嘴儿。一个餐厅侍者为桑乔端来一盘水果①,可桑乔还没来得及吃上一口,拿鲸鱼骨的那个人就用鲸鱼骨敲了一下盘子,侍者立刻把盘子飞快地撤走了。接着,侍者又为桑乔端来一盘菜。桑乔刚要吃,可他还没来得及尝到滋味,那人又用鲸鱼骨敲了一下盘子,侍者又像撤水果盘那样把那道菜飞快地端走了。桑乔见状感到奇怪,看着大家,问这是吃饭还是变戏法。拿鲸鱼骨的人答道:
①据说当时贵人在用餐前先吃水果,餐后再吃甜食。
“总督大人,吃饭得有规矩,在其他有总督的岛屿上也同样。大人,我是医生,我在这个岛上的职责就是当岛屿总督的医生。我注重总督的健康胜于自己的健康。我日夜研究总督的体质,一旦总督生病时就为总督治病。不过,我做得更多的是当总督吃东西或吃饭时站在一旁,同意总督吃我认为适合于他的东西,撤掉我认为不利于总督脾胃的东西。所以,我刚才让人把水果拿走了,因为水果是生冷之物。我让人撤去那盘菜是因为那菜太燥热,而且里面有很多香料,吃了会让人口渴。水喝多了就会冲淡人的体液,而人的生命就是由体液构成的。”
“那么,我觉得那盘烤石鸡味道肯定不错,吃了不会有任何坏处。”
医生说道:
“只要我活着,就不会让总督吃那盘菜。”
“为什么?”桑乔问。
医生答道:
“因为我们医学界的祖师希波克拉底①有一句名言:‘多食有害,石鸡尤甚②。’意思是说,什么吃多了都不好,特别是石鸡,更不能多吃。”
①希波克拉底是古希腊医学家,被誉为古代“医学之父”。曾提出“体液病理学说”,认为人体由血液、粘液、黄胆汁和黑胆汁四种体液组成,四液调和则体健,失调则患病。
②原文为“面包尤甚”。医生在此做了改动。
“这么说来,”桑乔说,“大夫,你看看桌子上的这些菜里,哪些菜对我最合适,哪些菜不太伤身,就直接让我吃,不必用鲸鱼骨敲了。天哪,我都快饿死了,况且上帝也让我吃呢。无论大夫你愿意不愿意,无论你怎么说,反正不让我吃就是要我的命,而不是让我延年益寿。”
“您说得对,总督大人,”医生说,“那么,我觉得您不要吃那盘炖兔肉,那菜有点儿硬;那份牛肉,如果不是腌烤的,倒还可以尝尝,可是现在也吃不得。”
桑乔说:
“最前面那个冒着热气的大盘子,我估计是什锦火锅,那里面有那么多东西,总会有一些既合我口味又有营养的东西吧。”
“非也。”医生说,“这种破菜咱们根本别考虑,世界上再没有什么比什锦火锅更糟糕的了。这种火锅是牧师、学校的校长和农家办婚事时食用的,还是让它从总督的餐桌上消失吧。总督餐桌上用的应该是精心选料、精心烹制的菜肴,其理由就是无论在什么情况下,无论对什么人,单味药总比多味药好。因为单味药不会用错,而多味药由于药剂多了就可能会改变药的作用。所以我说,总督大人要想保养身体,使身体强壮,就应该吃一百个蛋卷和薄薄几片榅桲肉,这些东西既养胃又有助于消化。”
桑乔听了这话后往椅背上靠了靠,仔细打量着这个医生,厉声问他叫什么名字,是在哪儿学的医。医生回答道:
“总督大人,我是佩德罗·雷西奥·德阿圭罗大夫。在卡拉库埃尔和阿尔莫多瓦尔·德坎波之间,路右边有个地方叫蒂尔特亚富埃拉,我就是那儿的人。我有奥苏纳大学颁发的博士学位。”
桑乔立刻怒气冲天地说道:
“好吧,卡拉库埃尔和阿尔莫多瓦尔·德坎波之间路右边蒂尔特亚富埃拉的、毕业于奥苏纳大学的臭佩德罗·雷西奥·德阿圭罗医生,你马上从我眼前滚开!否则我向太阳发誓,我要拿一根大棒子把岛上所有的医生都打跑,至少是那些我觉得一窍不通的医生。对于那些高明的医生,我待若上宾,奉如神明。我再说一遍,佩德罗·雷西奥,你马上给我滚开,否则我就抄起我现在坐的这把椅子,让它在你头上开花!不管谁来问,我都会说,我为上帝做了件好事,打死了一个混蛋医生,国家的一个刽子手!快给我吃饭吧,要不就让你们来当总督。连饭都不让吃的总督算老几呀。”
医生见总督大怒,不由得慌了手脚,打算溜出去。正在这时,外面响起了驿车的号角声。餐厅侍者探头向窗外望了望,说道:
“公爵大人的邮车来了,大概送来了什么重要的消息。”
邮差满脸大汗且惊魂未定地跑了进来。他从怀里掏出一个密封函件,送到总督手上。桑乔又把它交给文书,让他念念函件封面。封面上写着:巴拉塔里亚岛总督桑乔·潘萨亲启或转交其文书。桑乔闻言问道:
“谁是我的文书?”
在场的一个人答道:
“是我,大人,我识字。我是比斯开人。”
“就凭这点,”桑乔说,“你就是给国王当文书也行①。你把函件打开,看看上面说了些什么?”
①当时王宫里的文书大部分是比斯开人。
文书把函件打开看了一遍,说这件事得单独谈。桑乔吩咐除了管家和餐厅侍者之外,其他人都出去。其他人和医生都出去了。文书把函件念了一遍,上面写道:
唐桑乔·潘萨大人,据我得到的消息,那座岛屿以及其他地方的一些敌人可能会对该岛发动一次疯狂的袭击,不过我不知道是在哪天晚上。请务必提高警惕,不可大意。我还听说,有四个经过乔装打扮的奸细已经潜入你那个地方,企图杀害你,因为他们对你的智慧感到十分恐惧。请你睁大眼睛,注意那些去找你说话的人,还有,不要吃别人送的东西。如果你遇到了麻烦,我肯定会悉心相助。我相信,凭你的智慧,完全可以应付各种情况。
你的朋友
公爵
8月16日晨于本地
桑乔吓坏了;其他几个人也惊慌起来。桑乔转身对管家说道:
“现在,马上应该做的就是把雷西奥大夫投入大牢。如果有人想害我,那就是他。他想慢慢把我折磨死,譬如说采取饿的办法。”
“不过,我觉得这桌上的东西您都不能吃。”餐厅侍者说,“这些东西都是几个修女送来的。人们常说,十字架后有魔鬼。”
“这我同意,”桑乔说,“现在,你们给我拿一块面包和四磅葡萄来吧。这些东西不会有毒,我总不能不吃东西呀。如果咱们眼下面临一场战斗,那就得先吃饱,因为肚子不饱,心慌腿软。你,文书,给我的主人公爵回个函件,说我会不折不扣地执行他的指示,并代我吻我的女主人公爵夫人的手,请她别忘了派人把我的信和那个包袱送给我老婆特雷莎·潘萨。承蒙她的关照,我以后一定会尽全力报答。你顺便也给唐吉诃德带个吻手礼吧,我可是个知恩的人。你呢,算个好文书,是个好比斯开人,还有什么该加上的东西你都加上吧。现在,让人把这桌食物撤下去,另外给我弄点儿吃的,那么,无论什么奸细或刺客想冒犯我或者我的岛屿,我就都能对付了。”
这时,一个侍童进来说道:
“有个农夫想同您谈件事,他说事情很重要。”
“这种人真怪,”桑乔说,“难道他们就这么笨,没看见现在不是谈事情的时候吗?难道我们这些管理的总督就不是有血有肉的人,该休息的时候也不让我们休息,我们是石头做的吗?上帝保佑,我预感到,我这个总督是当不长了。如果我想把这个总督当下去,就得给这些来谈事的人立下点儿章法。现在,你让那个人进来吧,不过你要先弄清他是不是奸细或刺客。”
“不会的,大人,”侍童说,“他看上去像个大笨蛋。不过我不太了解情况,也许他还是个大好人呢。”
“没什么可怕的,”管家说,“我们大家都在这儿呢。”
“餐厅侍者,”桑乔说,“现在佩德罗·雷西奥大夫不在这儿,能不能弄点顶事的吃食来?哪怕是一块面包或一个葱头也好。”
“今天的晚饭会把这些都补上,让您心满意足,一点儿也不亏。”餐厅侍者说。
“但愿如此。”桑乔说。
这时,那个农夫进来了。他的样子很和气,让人老远就可以看出他是心地极其善良的人。他说道:
“哪位是总督大人?”
“哪位?”桑乔说,“除了椅子上坐的这位还有谁啊?”
“那我就拜见您了。”农夫说。
农夫跪下来,请桑乔把手伸出来给他吻。桑乔没有伸手,只是让农夫站起来,有什么事尽管说。农夫起身说道:
“大人,我是离京城两西里的一个名叫米格尔图拉的地方的农夫。”
“又是个从蒂尔特亚富埃拉来的!”桑乔说,“说吧,老兄,我告诉你,我对米格尔图拉很了解,我们村离那儿不远。”
“事情是这样的,大人,”农夫接着说道,“靠上帝开恩,我在天主教堂结了婚。我有两个上学的儿子,小的读学士,大的读硕士。我现在是光棍,我老婆死了,说得更确切些,是一个江湖医生害死了她。她怀孕的时候,那个医生给她吃了泻药。如果上帝保佑,让那个孩子生下来,而且是个男孩,我就会让他去读博士,那么他就不会嫉妒他的一个兄弟读学士,另一个兄弟读硕士了。”
“这样说来,”桑乔说,“如果你老婆没死,或者没有被害死的话,你现在就不是光棍了。”
“是的,大人,不会是光棍。”农夫说。
“这就行了。”桑乔说,“你快接着说,老兄,现在是该睡午觉的时候,而不是谈事情的时候。”
“好,我说。”农夫说,“我的那个准备读学士的儿子爱上了本村一个叫克拉拉·佩莱里娜的姑娘。她的父亲叫安德烈斯·佩莱里诺,是个富裕农民。这‘佩莱里’并不是世袭祖传的姓氏,而是因为这个家庭的所有人都是佩拉①病人,为了叫起来好听点,才叫他们‘佩莱里’什么。不过说实话,这个姑娘还真像颗东方明珠。从右边看,她宛若花朵;可是如果从左边看,她就不那么漂亮了,因为她少了一只左眼,是得天花时瞎的。她脸上有很多大麻点,有人说对于那些爱她至深的人来说,那不是麻点,而是坟墓,是埋葬那些对她有情的人的灵魂的坟墓。她的脸非常干净,为了保持脸的清洁,她长了个翘鼻子,那鼻子就好像是从嘴里跑出来的似的。尽管如此,她还是显得非常美,因为她的嘴特别大,要不是因为缺了十颗或十几颗牙,那简直可以赶上甚至超过最标致的嘴了。她的嘴唇就更没的说了,又薄又嫩,如果努嘴的话,她那嘴就像个线团。她那嘴唇的颜色也不同寻常,简直神了,有蓝色,有绿色,有紫色,一道儿一道儿的。对不起,总督大人,我是不是对这个终将成为我儿媳的姑娘描述得太细致了?
我很喜欢她,觉得她挺不错。”
①“佩拉”的意思是“风瘫”,下句的“佩莱里”意思是“珍珠”。
“你随便描述吧,”桑乔说,“如果我已经吃过了饭,就会更喜欢听你描述,我可以把你的描述当作饭后的甜食。”
“甜食当然得上,”农夫说,“可不是现在,得等到合适的时候。大人,如果我能把她的优美高贵的身材描述一下,你们准会感到惊讶,可是我描述不出来,因为她是驼背,膝盖挨着嘴。即使这样,人们也可以看出,假如她能站起来,脑袋准能顶到天花板呢。本来,她早就可以同我那个准备读学士的儿子携手结连理,可是不幸,她的手总是蜷曲着,尽管如此,从那凹陷的长指甲还是可以看出她的手形很优美。”
“好了,”桑乔说,“老兄,你已经把她从头到脚描述了一遍,那么,你到底想说什么事呢?有什么事你就说吧,别拐弯抹角,吞吞吐吐的。”
“大人,”农夫说,“我是想请您给我的亲家写一封举荐信,让他同意这门亲事,因为无论财产还是天姿,他们都并非不般配。我跟您说实话,大人,我儿子中了邪,每天都三番五次地受妖精折磨。有一次,他掉进火里,脸给烧得像羊皮纸那么皱,眼睛也总是湿漉漉的。如果他不是总用棍子和拳头朝自己乱打,他肯定是个条件很不错的人。”
“你还有什么事,老兄?”桑乔问。
“还有一件事,我不敢说。”农夫说,“不过,管它呢,无论有没有用,我还是说出来吧,免得让它烂在肚子里。大人,我想请您给我三百或六百个杜卡多,资助我那个读学士的儿子。我是说,帮他成个家。他们得自立门户,免得岳父岳母乱搅和。”
“你还有什么事都说出来,”桑乔说,“别不好意思。”
“没了,真的没了。”农夫说。
农夫刚说完,总督就马上站了起来。他抓住自己的坐椅说道:
“他妈的,你这个不识抬举的乡巴佬!你若是不马上从我面前滚开,找个地方藏起来,我就用这把椅子打烂你的头!你这个婊子养的恶棍,能说会道的魔鬼,竟在这个时候向我要六百杜卡多!我哪儿来这笔钱,讨厌鬼?就算我有,又凭什么要给你,你这个蠢货!什么米格尔图拉以及佩莱里,同我有什么关系?滚!我告诉你,你若是不马上滚开,我向我的主人公爵发誓,我就不客气了!你根本不是从米格尔图拉来的,而是地狱里某个狡诈的家伙派你来试探我的!你说,你这个没良心的东西,我才当了一天半的总督,你就以为我能有六百杜卡多吗?”
餐厅侍者示意农夫赶紧出去。农夫怕总督发怒,低着头出去了。这个家伙还挺知趣的。
不过,咱们还是让桑乔去生他的气,让大家相安无事吧。现在,咱们再去看看唐吉诃德。刚才谈到他的脸被猫抓伤了,包上了纱布,过了八天伤才好。在这段时间里,唐吉诃德又遇到了一件事,锡德·哈迈德答应像本书里的其他事一样,事无巨细都原原本本地讲出来。
1 sumptuous | |
adj.豪华的,奢侈的,华丽的 | |
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2 spacious | |
adj.广阔的,宽敞的 | |
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3 chamber | |
n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所 | |
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4 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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5 morsel | |
n.一口,一点点 | |
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6 jugglery | |
n.杂耍,把戏 | |
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7 stimulate | |
vt.刺激,使兴奋;激励,使…振奋 | |
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8 radical | |
n.激进份子,原子团,根号;adj.根本的,激进的,彻底的 | |
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9 beacon | |
n.烽火,(警告用的)闪火灯,灯塔 | |
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10 aphorisms | |
格言,警句( aphorism的名词复数 ) | |
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11 repletion | |
n.充满,吃饱 | |
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12 stewed | |
adj.焦虑不安的,烂醉的v.炖( stew的过去式和过去分词 );煨;思考;担忧 | |
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13 furry | |
adj.毛皮的;似毛皮的;毛皮制的 | |
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14 veal | |
n.小牛肉 | |
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15 pickles | |
n.腌菜( pickle的名词复数 );处于困境;遇到麻烦;菜酱 | |
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16 esteemed | |
adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 );敬重;认为;以为 | |
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17 fortify | |
v.强化防御,为…设防;加强,强化 | |
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18 conserve | |
vt.保存,保护,节约,节省,守恒,不灭 | |
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19 digestion | |
n.消化,吸收 | |
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20 steadily | |
adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
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21 dint | |
n.由于,靠;凹坑 | |
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22 reverence | |
n.敬畏,尊敬,尊严;Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称;v.尊敬,敬畏,崇敬 | |
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23 killing | |
n.巨额利润;突然赚大钱,发大财 | |
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24 despatch | |
n./v.(dispatch)派遣;发送;n.急件;新闻报道 | |
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25 bosom | |
n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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26 dread | |
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
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27 heed | |
v.注意,留意;n.注意,留心 | |
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28 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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29 nuns | |
n.(通常指基督教的)修女, (佛教的)尼姑( nun的名词复数 ) | |
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30 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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31 fully | |
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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32 contented | |
adj.满意的,安心的,知足的 | |
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33 humble | |
adj.谦卑的,恭顺的;地位低下的;v.降低,贬低 | |
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34 widower | |
n.鳏夫 | |
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35 purge | |
n.整肃,清除,泻药,净化;vt.净化,清除,摆脱;vi.清除,通便,腹泻,变得清洁 | |
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36 ancestry | |
n.祖先,家世 | |
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37 comeliest | |
adj.英俊的,好看的( comely的最高级 ) | |
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38 gracefulness | |
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39 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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40 elegance | |
n.优雅;优美,雅致;精致,巧妙 | |
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41 furrowed | |
v.犁田,开沟( furrow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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42 scraps | |
油渣 | |
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43 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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44 torment | |
n.折磨;令人痛苦的东西(人);vt.折磨;纠缠 | |
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45 puckered | |
v.(使某物)起褶子或皱纹( pucker的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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46 watery | |
adj.有水的,水汪汪的;湿的,湿润的 | |
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47 disposition | |
n.性情,性格;意向,倾向;排列,部署 | |
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48 modesty | |
n.谦逊,虚心,端庄,稳重,羞怯,朴素 | |
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49 boorish | |
adj.粗野的,乡巴佬的 | |
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50 rascal | |
n.流氓;不诚实的人 | |
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51 stinking | |
adj.臭的,烂醉的,讨厌的v.散发出恶臭( stink的现在分词 );发臭味;名声臭;糟透 | |
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52 brute | |
n.野兽,兽性 | |
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53 knave | |
n.流氓;(纸牌中的)杰克 | |
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54 tempt | |
vt.引诱,勾引,吸引,引起…的兴趣 | |
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55 villain | |
n.反派演员,反面人物;恶棍;问题的起因 | |
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56 rogue | |
n.流氓;v.游手好闲 | |
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57 wrath | |
n.愤怒,愤慨,暴怒 | |
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58 wont | |
adj.习惯于;v.习惯;n.习惯 | |
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59 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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