Panurge’s excuse and exposition of the monastic mystery concerning powdered beef.
The Lord save those who see, and do not hear! quoth Panurge. I see you well enough, but know not what it is that you have said. The hunger-starved belly1 wanteth ears. For lack of victuals2, before God, I roar, bray3, yell, and fume4 as in a furious madness. I have performed too hard a task to-day, an extraordinary work indeed. He shall be craftier5, and do far greater wonders than ever did Mr. Mush, who shall be able any more this year to bring me on the stage of preparation for a dreaming verdict. Fie! not to sup at all, that is the devil. Pox take that fashion! Come, Friar John, let us go break our fast; for, if I hit on such a round refection in the morning as will serve thoroughly6 to fill the mill-hopper and hogs-hide of my stomach, and furnish it with meat and drink sufficient, then at a pinch, as in the case of some extreme necessity which presseth, I could make a shift that day to forbear dining. But not to sup! A plague rot that base custom, which is an error offensive to Nature! That lady made the day for exercise, to travel, work, wait on and labour in each his negotiation7 and employment; and that we may with the more fervency8 and ardour prosecute9 our business, she sets before us a clear burning candle, to wit, the sun’s resplendency; and at night, when she begins to take the light from us, she thereby10 tacitly implies no less than if she would have spoken thus unto us: My lads and lasses, all of you are good and honest folks, you have wrought11 well to-day, toiled12 and turmoiled enough,— the night approacheth,— therefore cast off these moiling cares of yours, desist from all your swinking painful labours, and set your minds how to refresh your bodies in the renewing of their vigour13 with good bread, choice wine, and store of wholesome14 meats; then may you take some sport and recreation, and after that lie down and rest yourselves, that you may strongly, nimbly, lustily, and with the more alacrity15 to-morrow attend on your affairs as formerly16.
Falconers, in like manner, when they have fed their hawks17, will not suffer them to fly on a full gorge18, but let them on a perch19 abide20 a little, that they may rouse, bait, tower, and soar the better. That good pope who was the first institutor of fasting understood this well enough; for he ordained21 that our fast should reach but to the hour of noon; all the remainder of that day was at our disposure, freely to eat and feed at any time thereof. In ancient times there were but few that dined, as you would say, some church men, monks22 and canons; for they have little other occupation. Each day is a festival unto them, who diligently23 heed24 the claustral proverb, De missa ad mensam. They do not use to linger and defer25 their sitting down and placing of themselves at table, only so long as they have a mind in waiting for the coming of the abbot; so they fell to without ceremony, terms, or conditions; and everybody supped, unless it were some vain, conceited26, dreaming dotard. Hence was a supper called coena, which showeth that it is common to all sorts of people. Thou knowest it well, Friar John. Come, let us go, my dear friend, in the name of all the devils of the infernal regions, let us go. The gnawings of my stomach in this rage of hunger are so tearing, that they make it bark like a mastiff. Let us throw some bread and beef into his throat to pacify27 him, as once the sibyl did to Cerberus. Thou likest best monastical brewis, the prime, the flower of the pot. I am for the solid, principal verb that comes after — the good brown loaf, always accompanied with a round slice of the nine-lecture-powdered labourer. I know thy meaning, answered Friar John; this metaphor28 is extracted out of the claustral kettle. The labourer is the ox that hath wrought and done the labour; after the fashion of nine lectures, that is to say, most exquisitely29 well and thoroughly boiled. These holy religious fathers, by a certain cabalistic institution of the ancients, not written, but carefully by tradition conveyed from hand to hand, rising betimes to go to morning prayers, were wont31 to flourish that their matutinal devotion with some certain notable preambles32 before their entry into the church, viz., they dunged in the dungeries, pissed in the pisseries, spit in the spitteries, melodiously33 coughed in the cougheries, and doted in their dotaries, that to the divine service they might not bring anything that was unclean or foul34. These things thus done, they very zealously35 made their repair to the Holy Chapel36, for so was in their canting language termed the convent kitchen, where they with no small earnestness had care that the beef-pot should be put on the crook37 for the breakfast of the religious brothers of our Lord and Saviour38; and the fire they would kindle39 under the pot themselves. Now, the matins consisting of nine lessons, (it) it was so incumbent40 on them, that must have risen the rather for the more expedite despatching of them all. The sooner that they rose, the sharper was their appetite and the barkings of their stomachs, and the gnawings increased in the like proportion, and consequently made these godly men thrice more a-hungered and athirst than when their matins were hemmed41 over only with three lessons. The more betimes they rose, by the said cabal30, the sooner was the beef-pot put on; the longer that the beef was on the fire, the better it was boiled; the more it boiled, it was the tenderer; the tenderer that it was, the less it troubled the teeth, delighted more the palate, less charged the stomach, and nourished our good religious men the more substantially; which is the only end and prime intention of the first founders42, as appears by this, that they eat not to live, but live to eat, and in this world have nothing but their life. Let us go, Panurge.
Now have I understood thee, quoth Panurge, my plushcod friar, my caballine and claustral ballock. I freely quit the costs, interest, and charges, seeing you have so egregiously43 commented upon the most especial chapter of the culinary and monastic cabal. Come along, my Carpalin, and you, Friar John, my leather-dresser. Good morrow to you all, my good lords; I have dreamed too much to have so little. Let us go. Panurge had no sooner done speaking than Epistemon with a loud voice said these words: It is a very ordinary and common thing amongst men to conceive, foresee, know, and presage44 the misfortune, bad luck, or disaster of another; but to have the understanding, providence45, knowledge, and prediction of a man’s own mishap46 is very scarce and rare to be found anywhere. This is exceeding judiciously47 and prudently48 deciphered by Aesop in his Apologues, who there affirmeth that every man in the world carrieth about his neck a wallet, in the fore-bag whereof were contained the faults and mischances of others always exposed to his view and knowledge; and in the other scrip thereof, which hangs behind, are kept the bearer’s proper transgressions49 and inauspicious adventures, at no time seen by him, nor thought upon, unless he be a person that hath a favourable50 aspect from the heavens.
1 belly | |
n.肚子,腹部;(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分,膛 | |
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2 victuals | |
n.食物;食品 | |
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3 bray | |
n.驴叫声, 喇叭声;v.驴叫 | |
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4 fume | |
n.(usu pl.)(浓烈或难闻的)烟,气,汽 | |
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5 craftier | |
狡猾的,狡诈的( crafty的比较级 ) | |
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6 thoroughly | |
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
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7 negotiation | |
n.谈判,协商 | |
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8 fervency | |
n.热情的;强烈的;热烈 | |
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9 prosecute | |
vt.告发;进行;vi.告发,起诉,作检察官 | |
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10 thereby | |
adv.因此,从而 | |
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11 wrought | |
v.引起;以…原料制作;运转;adj.制造的 | |
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12 toiled | |
长时间或辛苦地工作( toil的过去式和过去分词 ); 艰难缓慢地移动,跋涉 | |
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13 vigour | |
(=vigor)n.智力,体力,精力 | |
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14 wholesome | |
adj.适合;卫生的;有益健康的;显示身心健康的 | |
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15 alacrity | |
n.敏捷,轻快,乐意 | |
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16 formerly | |
adv.从前,以前 | |
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17 hawks | |
鹰( hawk的名词复数 ); 鹰派人物,主战派人物 | |
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18 gorge | |
n.咽喉,胃,暴食,山峡;v.塞饱,狼吞虎咽地吃 | |
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19 perch | |
n.栖木,高位,杆;v.栖息,就位,位于 | |
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20 abide | |
vi.遵守;坚持;vt.忍受 | |
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21 ordained | |
v.任命(某人)为牧师( ordain的过去式和过去分词 );授予(某人)圣职;(上帝、法律等)命令;判定 | |
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22 monks | |
n.修道士,僧侣( monk的名词复数 ) | |
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23 diligently | |
ad.industriously;carefully | |
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24 heed | |
v.注意,留意;n.注意,留心 | |
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25 defer | |
vt.推迟,拖延;vi.(to)遵从,听从,服从 | |
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26 conceited | |
adj.自负的,骄傲自满的 | |
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27 pacify | |
vt.使(某人)平静(或息怒);抚慰 | |
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28 metaphor | |
n.隐喻,暗喻 | |
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29 exquisitely | |
adv.精致地;强烈地;剧烈地;异常地 | |
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30 cabal | |
n.政治阴谋小集团 | |
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31 wont | |
adj.习惯于;v.习惯;n.习惯 | |
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32 preambles | |
n.序( preamble的名词复数 );绪言;(法令、文件等的)序文;前言 | |
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33 melodiously | |
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34 foul | |
adj.污秽的;邪恶的;v.弄脏;妨害;犯规;n.犯规 | |
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35 zealously | |
adv.热心地;热情地;积极地;狂热地 | |
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36 chapel | |
n.小教堂,殡仪馆 | |
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37 crook | |
v.使弯曲;n.小偷,骗子,贼;弯曲(处) | |
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38 saviour | |
n.拯救者,救星 | |
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39 kindle | |
v.点燃,着火 | |
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40 incumbent | |
adj.成为责任的,有义务的;现任的,在职的 | |
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41 hemmed | |
缝…的褶边( hem的过去式和过去分词 ); 包围 | |
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42 founders | |
n.创始人( founder的名词复数 ) | |
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43 egregiously | |
adv.过份地,卓越地 | |
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44 presage | |
n.预感,不祥感;v.预示 | |
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45 providence | |
n.深谋远虑,天道,天意;远见;节约;上帝 | |
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46 mishap | |
n.不幸的事,不幸;灾祸 | |
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47 judiciously | |
adv.明断地,明智而审慎地 | |
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48 prudently | |
adv. 谨慎地,慎重地 | |
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49 transgressions | |
n.违反,违法,罪过( transgression的名词复数 ) | |
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50 favourable | |
adj.赞成的,称赞的,有利的,良好的,顺利的 | |
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