How Pantagruel relateth a strange history of the perplexity of human judgment1.
Seeing you talk, quoth Pantagruel, of dark, difficult, hard, and knotty2 debates, I will tell you of one controverted3 before Cneius Dolabella, proconsul in Asia. The case was this.
A wife in Smyrna had of her first husband a child named Abece. He dying, she, after the expiring of a year and day, married again, and to her second husband bore a boy called Effege. A pretty long time thereafter it happened, as you know the affection of stepfathers and stepdams is very rare towards the children of the first fathers and mothers deceased, that this husband, with the help of his son Effege, secretly, wittingly, willingly, and treacherously4 murdered Abece. The woman came no sooner to get information of the fact, but, that it might not go unpunished, she caused kill them both, to revenge the death of her first son. She was apprehended5 and carried before Cneius Dolabella, in whose presence she, without dissembling anything, confessed all that was laid to her charge; yet alleged6 that she had both right and reason on her side for the killing7 of them. Thus was the state of the question. He found the business so dubious8 and intricate, that he knew not what to determine therein, nor which of the parties to incline to. On the other hand, it was an execrable crime to cut off at once both her second husband and her son. On the other hand, the cause of the murder seemed to be so natural, as to be grounded upon the law of nations and the rational instinct of all the people of the world, seeing they two together had feloniously and murderously destroyed her first son; not that they had been in any manner of way wronged, outraged9, or injured by him, but out of an avaricious10 intent to possess his inheritance. In this doubtful quandary11 and uncertainty12 what to pitch upon, he sent to the Areopagites then sitting at Athens to learn and obtain their advice and judgment. That judicious13 senate, very sagely14 perpending the reasons of his perplexity, sent him word to summon her personally to compear before him a precise hundred years thereafter, to answer to some interrogatories touching15 certain points which were not contained in the verbal defence. Which resolution of theirs did import that it was in their opinion a so difficult and inextricable matter that they knew not what to say or judge therein. Who had decided16 that plea by the chance and fortune of the dice17, could not have erred18 nor awarded amiss on which side soever he had passed his casting and condemnatory19 sentence. If against the woman, she deserved punishment for usurping20 sovereign authority by taking that vengeance21 at her own hand, the inflicting22 whereof was only competent to the supreme23 power to administer justice in criminal cases. If for her, the just resentment24 of a so atrocious injury done unto her, in murdering her innocent son, did fully25 excuse and vindicate26 her of any trespass27 or offence about that particular committed by her. But this continuation of Bridlegoose for so many years still hitting the nail on the head, never missing the mark, and always judging aright, by the mere28 throwing of the dice and chance thereof, is that which most astonisheth and amazeth me.
To answer, quoth Pantagruel (Epistemon, says the English edition of 1694, following the reading of the modern French editions. Le Duchat has pointed29 out the mistake.— M.), categorically to that which you wonder at, I must ingeniously confess and avow30 that I cannot; yet, conjecturally31 to guess at the reason of it, I would refer the cause of that marvellously long-continued happy success in the judiciary results of his definitive32 sentences to the favourable33 aspect of the heavens and benignity34 of the intelligences; who, out of their love to goodness, after having contemplated35 the pure simplicity36 and sincere unfeignedness of Judge Bridlegoose in the acknowledgment of his inabilities, did regulate that for him by chance which by the profoundest act of his maturest deliberation he was not able to reach unto. That, likewise, which possibly made him to diffide in his own skill and capacity, notwithstanding his being an expert and understanding lawyer, for anything that I know to the contrary, was the knowledge and experience which he had of the antinomies, contrarieties, antilogies, contradictions, traversings, and thwartings of laws, customs, edicts, statutes37, orders, and ordinances38, in which dangerous opposition39, equity40 and justice being structured and founded on either of the opposite terms, and a gap being thereby41 opened for the ushering42 in of injustice43 and iniquity44 through the various interpretations45 of self-ended lawyers, being assuredly persuaded that the infernal calumniator46, who frequently transformeth himself into the likeness47 of a messenger or angel of light, maketh use of these cross glosses48 and expositions in the mouths and pens of his ministers and servants, the perverse49 advocates, bribing50 judges, law-monging attorneys, prevaricating51 counsellors, and other such-like law-wresting members of a court of justice, to turn by those means black to white, green to grey, and what is straight to a crooked52 ply53. For the more expedient54 doing whereof, these diabolical55 ministers make both the pleading parties believe that their cause is just and righteous; for it is well known that there is no cause, how bad soever, which doth not find an advocate to patrocinate and defend it,— else would there be no process in the world, no suits at law, nor pleadings at the bar. He did in these extremities56, as I conceive, most humbly57 recommend the direction of his judicial58 proceedings59 to the upright judge of judges, God Almighty60; did submit himself to the conduct and guideship of the blessed Spirit in the hazard and perplexity of the definitive sentence, and, by this aleatory lot, did as it were implore61 and explore the divine decree of his goodwill62 and pleasure, instead of that which we call the final judgment of a court. To this effect, to the better attaining63 to his purpose, which was to judge righteously, he did, in my opinion, throw and turn the dice, to the end that by the providence64 aforesaid the best chance might fall to him whose action was uprightest, and backed with greatest reason. In doing whereof he did not stray from the sense of Talmudists, who say that there is so little harm in that manner of searching the truth, that in the anxiety and perplexedness of human wits God oftentimes manifesteth the secret pleasure of his divine will.
Furthermore, I will neither think nor say, nor can I believe, that the unstraightness is so irregular, or the corruption65 so evident, of those of the parliament of Mirelingois in Mirelingues, before whom Bridlegoose was arraigned66 for prevarication67, that they will maintain it to be a worse practice to have the decision of a suit at law referred to the chance and hazard of a throw of the dice, hab nab, or luck as it will, than to have it remitted68 to and passed by the determination of those whose hands are full of blood and hearts of wry69 affections. Besides that, their principal direction in all law matters comes to their hands from one Tribonian, a wicked, miscreant70, barbarous, faithless and perfidious71 knave72, so pernicious, unjust, avaricious, and perverse in his ways, that it was his ordinary custom to sell laws, edicts, declarations, constitutions, and ordinances, as at an outroop or putsale, to him who offered most for them. Thus did he shape measures for the pleaders, and cut their morsels73 to them by and out of these little parcels, fragments, bits, scantlings, and shreds74 of the law now in use, altogether concealing75, suppressing, disannulling, and abolishing the remainder, which did make for the total law; fearing that, if the whole law were made manifest and laid open to the knowledge of such as are interested in it, and the learned books of the ancient doctors of the law upon the exposition of the Twelve Tables and Praetorian Edicts, his villainous pranks76, naughtiness, and vile77 impiety78 should come to the public notice of the world. Therefore were it better, in my conceit79, that is to say, less inconvenient80, that parties at variance81 in any juridical case should in the dark march upon caltrops than submit the determination of what is their right to such unhallowed sentences and horrible decrees; as Cato in his time wished and advised that every judiciary court should be paved with caltrops.
1 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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2 knotty | |
adj.有结的,多节的,多瘤的,棘手的 | |
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3 controverted | |
v.争论,反驳,否定( controvert的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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4 treacherously | |
背信弃义地; 背叛地; 靠不住地; 危险地 | |
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5 apprehended | |
逮捕,拘押( apprehend的过去式和过去分词 ); 理解 | |
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6 alleged | |
a.被指控的,嫌疑的 | |
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7 killing | |
n.巨额利润;突然赚大钱,发大财 | |
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8 dubious | |
adj.怀疑的,无把握的;有问题的,靠不住的 | |
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9 outraged | |
a.震惊的,义愤填膺的 | |
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10 avaricious | |
adj.贪婪的,贪心的 | |
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11 quandary | |
n.困惑,进迟两难之境 | |
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12 uncertainty | |
n.易变,靠不住,不确知,不确定的事物 | |
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13 judicious | |
adj.明智的,明断的,能作出明智决定的 | |
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14 sagely | |
adv. 贤能地,贤明地 | |
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15 touching | |
adj.动人的,使人感伤的 | |
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16 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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17 dice | |
n.骰子;vt.把(食物)切成小方块,冒险 | |
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18 erred | |
犯错误,做错事( err的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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19 condemnatory | |
adj. 非难的,处罚的 | |
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20 usurping | |
篡夺,霸占( usurp的现在分词 ); 盗用; 篡夺,篡权 | |
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21 vengeance | |
n.报复,报仇,复仇 | |
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22 inflicting | |
把…强加给,使承受,遭受( inflict的现在分词 ) | |
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23 supreme | |
adj.极度的,最重要的;至高的,最高的 | |
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24 resentment | |
n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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25 fully | |
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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26 vindicate | |
v.为…辩护或辩解,辩明;证明…正确 | |
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27 trespass | |
n./v.侵犯,闯入私人领地 | |
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28 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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29 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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30 avow | |
v.承认,公开宣称 | |
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31 conjecturally | |
adj.推测的,好推测的 | |
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32 definitive | |
adj.确切的,权威性的;最后的,决定性的 | |
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33 favourable | |
adj.赞成的,称赞的,有利的,良好的,顺利的 | |
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34 benignity | |
n.仁慈 | |
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35 contemplated | |
adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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36 simplicity | |
n.简单,简易;朴素;直率,单纯 | |
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37 statutes | |
成文法( statute的名词复数 ); 法令; 法规; 章程 | |
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38 ordinances | |
n.条例,法令( ordinance的名词复数 ) | |
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39 opposition | |
n.反对,敌对 | |
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40 equity | |
n.公正,公平,(无固定利息的)股票 | |
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41 thereby | |
adv.因此,从而 | |
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42 ushering | |
v.引,领,陪同( usher的现在分词 ) | |
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43 injustice | |
n.非正义,不公正,不公平,侵犯(别人的)权利 | |
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44 iniquity | |
n.邪恶;不公正 | |
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45 interpretations | |
n.解释( interpretation的名词复数 );表演;演绎;理解 | |
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46 calumniator | |
n.中伤者,诽谤者 | |
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47 likeness | |
n.相像,相似(之处) | |
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48 glosses | |
n.(页末或书后的)注释( gloss的名词复数 );(表面的)光滑;虚假的外表;用以产生光泽的物质v.注解( gloss的第三人称单数 );掩饰(错误);粉饰;把…搪塞过去 | |
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49 perverse | |
adj.刚愎的;坚持错误的,行为反常的 | |
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50 bribing | |
贿赂 | |
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51 prevaricating | |
v.支吾( prevaricate的现在分词 );搪塞;说谎 | |
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52 crooked | |
adj.弯曲的;不诚实的,狡猾的,不正当的 | |
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53 ply | |
v.(搬运工等)等候顾客,弯曲 | |
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54 expedient | |
adj.有用的,有利的;n.紧急的办法,权宜之计 | |
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55 diabolical | |
adj.恶魔似的,凶暴的 | |
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56 extremities | |
n.端点( extremity的名词复数 );尽头;手和足;极窘迫的境地 | |
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57 humbly | |
adv. 恭顺地,谦卑地 | |
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58 judicial | |
adj.司法的,法庭的,审判的,明断的,公正的 | |
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59 proceedings | |
n.进程,过程,议程;诉讼(程序);公报 | |
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60 almighty | |
adj.全能的,万能的;很大的,很强的 | |
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61 implore | |
vt.乞求,恳求,哀求 | |
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62 goodwill | |
n.善意,亲善,信誉,声誉 | |
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63 attaining | |
(通常经过努力)实现( attain的现在分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况) | |
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64 providence | |
n.深谋远虑,天道,天意;远见;节约;上帝 | |
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65 corruption | |
n.腐败,堕落,贪污 | |
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66 arraigned | |
v.告发( arraign的过去式和过去分词 );控告;传讯;指责 | |
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67 prevarication | |
n.支吾;搪塞;说谎;有枝有叶 | |
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68 remitted | |
v.免除(债务),宽恕( remit的过去式和过去分词 );使某事缓和;寄回,传送 | |
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69 wry | |
adj.讽刺的;扭曲的 | |
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70 miscreant | |
n.恶棍 | |
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71 perfidious | |
adj.不忠的,背信弃义的 | |
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72 knave | |
n.流氓;(纸牌中的)杰克 | |
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73 morsels | |
n.一口( morsel的名词复数 );(尤指食物)小块,碎屑 | |
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74 shreds | |
v.撕碎,切碎( shred的第三人称单数 );用撕毁机撕毁(文件) | |
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75 concealing | |
v.隐藏,隐瞒,遮住( conceal的现在分词 ) | |
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76 pranks | |
n.玩笑,恶作剧( prank的名词复数 ) | |
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77 vile | |
adj.卑鄙的,可耻的,邪恶的;坏透的 | |
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78 impiety | |
n.不敬;不孝 | |
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79 conceit | |
n.自负,自高自大 | |
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80 inconvenient | |
adj.不方便的,令人感到麻烦的 | |
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81 variance | |
n.矛盾,不同 | |
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