How Pantagruel came to the islands of Tohu and Bohu; and of the strange death of Wide-nostrils, the swallower of windmills.
That day Pantagruel came to the two islands of Tohu and Bohu, where the devil a bit we could find anything to fry with. For one Wide-nostrils, a huge giant, had swallowed every individual pan, skillet, kettle, frying-pan, dripping-pan, and brass1 and iron pot in the land, for want of windmills, which were his daily food. Whence it happened that somewhat before day, about the hour of his digestion3, the greedy churl4 was taken very ill with a kind of a surfeit5, or crudity6 of stomach, occasioned, as the physicians said, by the weakness of the concocting7 faculty8 of his stomach, naturally disposed to digest whole windmills at a gust9, yet unable to consume perfectly10 the pans and skillets; though it had indeed pretty well digested the kettles and pots, as they said they knew by the hypostases and eneoremes of four tubs of second-hand11 drink which he had evacuated12 at two different times that morning. They made use of divers13 remedies, according to art, to give him ease; but all would not do; the distemper prevailed over the remedies; insomuch that the famous Wide-nostrils died that morning of so strange a death that I think you ought no longer to wonder at that of the poet Aeschylus. It had been foretold14 him by the soothsayers that he would die on a certain day by the ruin of something that should fall on him. The fatal day being come in its turn, he removed himself out of town, far from all houses, trees, (rocks,) or any other things that can fall and endanger by their ruin; and strayed in a large field, trusting himself to the open sky; there very secure, as he thought, unless indeed the sky should happen to fall, which he held to be impossible. Yet they say that the larks15 are much afraid of it; for if it should fall, they must all be taken.
The Celts that once lived near the Rhine — they are our noble valiant16 French — in ancient times were also afraid of the sky’s falling; for being asked by Alexander the Great what they feared most in this world, hoping well they would say that they feared none but him, considering his great achievements, they made answer that they feared nothing but the sky’s falling; however, not refusing to enter into a confederacy with so brave a king, if you believe Strabo, lib. 7, and Arrian, lib. I.
Plutarch also, in his book of the face that appears on the body of the moon, speaks of one Phenaces, who very much feared the moon should fall on the earth, and pitied those that live under that planet, as the Aethiopians and Taprobanians, if so heavy a mass ever happened to fall on them, and would have feared the like of heaven and earth had they not been duly propped17 up and borne by the Atlantic pillars, as the ancients believed, according to Aristotle’s testimony18, lib. 5, Metaphys. Notwithstanding all this, poor Aeschylus was killed by the fall of the shell of a tortoise, which falling from betwixt the claws of an eagle high in the air, just on his head, dashed out his brains.
Neither ought you to wonder at the death of another poet, I mean old jolly Anacreon, who was choked with a grape-stone. Nor at that of Fabius the Roman praetor, who was choked with a single goat’s hair as he was supping up a porringer of milk. Nor at the death of that bashful fool, who by holding in his wind, and for want of letting out a bum-gunshot, died suddenly in the presence of the Emperor Claudius. Nor at that of the Italian buried on the Via Flaminia at Rome, who in his epitaph complains that the bite of a she-puss on his little finger was the cause of his death. Nor of that of Q. Lecanius Bassus, who died suddenly of so small a prick19 with a needle on his left thumb that it could hardly be discerned. Nor of Quenelault, a Norman physician, who died suddenly at Montpellier, merely for having sideways took a worm out of his hand with a penknife. Nor of Philomenes, whose servant having got him some new figs20 for the first course of his dinner, whilst he went to fetch wine, a straggling well-hung ass2 got into the house, and seeing the figs on the table, without further invitation soberly fell to. Philomenes coming into the room and nicely observing with what gravity the ass ate its dinner, said to the man, who was come back, Since thou hast set figs here for this reverend guest of ours to eat, methinks it is but reason thou also give him some of this wine to drink. He had no sooner said this, but he was so excessively pleased, and fell into so exorbitant21 a fit of laughter, that the use of his spleen took that of his breath utterly22 away, and he immediately died. Nor of Spurius Saufeius, who died supping up a soft-boiled egg as he came out of a bath. Nor of him who, as Boccaccio tells us, died suddenly by picking his grinders with a sage-stalk. Nor of Phillipot Placut, who being brisk and hale, fell dead as he was paying an old debt; which causes, perhaps, many not to pay theirs, for fear of the like accident. Nor of the painter Zeuxis, who killed himself with laughing at the sight of the antique jobbernowl of an old hag drawn23 by him. Nor, in short, of a thousand more of which authors write, as Varrius, Pliny, Valerius, J. Baptista Fulgosus, and Bacabery the elder. In short, Gaffer Wide-nostrils choked himself with eating a huge lump of fresh butter at the mouth of a hot oven by the advice of physicians.
They likewise told us there that the King of Cullan in Bohu had routed the grandees24 of King Mecloth, and made sad work with the fortresses25 of Belima.
After this, we sailed by the islands of Nargues and Zargues; also by the islands of Teleniabin and Geleniabin, very fine and fruitful in ingredients for clysters; and then by the islands of Enig and Evig, on whose account formerly26 the Landgrave of Hesse was swinged off with a vengeance27.
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brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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digestion
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| n.消化，吸收 | |
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churl
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| n.吝啬之人；粗鄙之人 | |
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surfeit
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| v.使饮食过度；n.(食物)过量，过度 | |
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crudity
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| n.粗糙，生硬；adj.粗略的 | |
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concocting
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| v.将（尤指通常不相配合的）成分混合成某物( concoct的现在分词 )；调制；编造；捏造 | |
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faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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gust
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| n.阵风，突然一阵（雨、烟等），（感情的）迸发 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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second-hand
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| adj.用过的，旧的，二手的 | |
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evacuated
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| 撤退者的 | |
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divers
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| adj.不同的；种种的 | |
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foretold
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| v.预言，预示( foretell的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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larks
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| n.百灵科鸟（尤指云雀）( lark的名词复数 )；一大早就起床；鸡鸣即起；（因太费力而不想干时说）算了v.百灵科鸟（尤指云雀）( lark的第三人称单数 )；一大早就起床；鸡鸣即起；（因太费力而不想干时说）算了 | |
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valiant
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| adj.勇敢的，英勇的；n.勇士，勇敢的人 | |
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propped
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| 支撑，支持，维持( prop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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testimony
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| n.证词；见证，证明 | |
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prick
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| v.刺伤，刺痛，刺孔；n.刺伤，刺痛 | |
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figs
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| figures 数字，图形，外形 | |
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exorbitant
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| adj.过分的；过度的 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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24
grandees
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| n.贵族，大公，显贵者( grandee的名词复数 ) | |
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25
fortresses
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| 堡垒，要塞( fortress的名词复数 ) | |
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26
formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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27
vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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