Part 1 Miss Mary Pask Chapter 4

After all, why should I tell Grace Bridgeworth — ever? I had had a glimpse of things that were really no business of hers. If the revelation had been vouchsafed¹ to me, ought I not to bury it in those deepest depths where the inexplicable² and the unforgettable sleep together? And besides, what interest could there be to a woman like Grace in a tale she could neither understand nor believe in? She would just set me down as “queer” — and enough people had done that already. My first object, when I finally did get back to New York, was to convince everybody of my complete return to mental and physical soundness; and into this scheme of evidence my experience with Mary Pask did not seem to fit. All things considered, I would hold my tongue.

But after a while the thought of the grave began to trouble me. I wondered if Grace had ever had a proper grave-stone put on it. The queer neglected look of the house gave me the idea that perhaps she had done nothing — had brushed the whole matter aside, to be attended to when she next went abroad. “Grace forgets,” I heard the poor ghost quaver . . . No, decidedly, there could be no harm in putting (tactfully) just that one question about the care of the grave; the more so as I was beginning to reproach myself for not having gone back to see with my own eyes how it was kept . . .

Grace and Horace welcomed me with all their old friendliness³, and I soon slipped into the habit of dropping in on them for a meal when I thought they were likely to be alone. Nevertheless my opportunity didn’t come at once — I had to wait for some weeks. And then one evening, when Horace was dining out and I sat alone with Grace, my glance lit on a photograph of her sister — an old faded photograph which seemed to meet my eyes reproachfully.

“By the way, Grace,” I began with a jerk, “I don’t believe I ever told you: I went down to that little place of . . . of your sister’s the day before I had that bad relapse.”

At once her face lit up emotionally. “No, you never told me. How sweet of you to go!” The ready tears overbrimmed her eyes. “I’m so glad you did.” She lowered her voice and added softly: “And did you see her?”

The question sent one of my old shudders⁴ over me. I looked with amazement⁵ at Mrs. Bridgeworth’s plump face, smiling at me through a veil of painless tears. “I do reproach myself more and more about darling Mary,” she added tremulously. “But tell me — tell me everything.”

There was a knot in my throat; I felt almost as uncomfortable as I had in Mary Pask’s own presence. Yet I had never before noticed anything uncanny about Grace Bridgeworth. I forced my voice up to my lips.

“Everything? Oh, I can’t — .” I tried to smile.

“But you did see her?”

I managed to nod, still smiling.

Her face grew suddenly haggard — yes, haggard! “And the change was so dreadful that you can’t speak of it? Tell me — was that it?”

I shook my head. After all, what had shocked me was that the change was so slight — that between being dead and alive there seemed after all to be so little difference, except that of a mysterious increase in reality. But Grace’s eyes were still searching me insistently⁶. “You must tell me,” she reiterated⁷. “I know I ought to have gone there long ago — ”

“Yes; perhaps you ought.” I hesitated. “To see about the grave, at least . . . ”

She sat silent, her eyes still on my face. Her tears had stopped, but her look of solicitude⁸ slowly grew into a stare of something like terror. Hesitatingly, almost reluctantly, she stretched out her hand and laid it on mine for an instant. “Dear old friend — ” she began.

“Unfortunately,” I interrupted, “I couldn’t get back myself to see the grave . . . because I was taken ill the next day . . . ”

“Yes, yes; of course. I know.” She paused. “Are you sure you went there at all?” she asked abruptly⁹.

“Sure? Good Lord — ” It was my turn to stare. “Do you suspect me of not being quite right yet?” I suggested with an uneasy laugh.

“No — no . . . of course not . . . but I don’t understand.”

“Understand what? I went into the house . . . I saw everything, in fact, but her grave . . . ”

“Her grave?” Grace jumped up, clasping her hands on her breast and darting¹⁰ away from me. At the other end of the room she stood and gazed, and then moved slowly back.

“Then, after all — I wonder?” She held her eyes on me, half fearful and half reassured¹¹. “Could it be simply that you never heard?”

“Never heard?”

“But it was in all the papers! Don’t you ever read them? I meant to write . . . I thought I had written . . . but I said: ‘At any rate he’ll see it in the papers’ . . . You know I’m always lazy about letters . . . ”

“See what in the papers?”

“Why, that she didn’t die . . . She isn’t dead! There isn’t any grave, my dear man! It was only a cataleptic trance . . . An extraordinary case, the doctors say . . . But didn’t she tell you all about it — if you say you saw her?” She burst into half-hysterical laughter: “Surely she must have told you that she wasn’t dead?”

“No,” I said slowly, “she didn’t tell me that.”

We talked about it together for a long time after that — talked on till Horace came back from his men’s dinner, after midnight. Grace insisted on going in and out of the whole subject, over and over again. As she kept repeating, it was certainly the only time that poor Mary had ever been in the papers. But though I sat and listened patiently I couldn’t get up any real interest in what she said. I felt I should never again be interested in Mary Pask, or in anything concerning her.

1 vouchsafed   

v.给予，赐予( vouchsafe的过去式和过去分词 )；允诺

参考例句：

• He vouchsafed to me certain family secrets. 他让我知道了某些家庭秘密。
• The significance of the event does, indeed, seem vouchsafed. 这个事件看起来确实具有重大意义。 来自辞典例句

2 inexplicable   

adj.无法解释的，难理解的

参考例句：

• It is now inexplicable how that development was misinterpreted.当时对这一事态发展的错误理解究竟是怎么产生的，现在已经无法说清楚了。
• There are many things which are inexplicable by science.有很多事科学还无法解释。

3 friendliness   

n.友谊，亲切，亲密

参考例句：

• Behind the mask of friendliness,I know he really dislikes me.在友善的面具后面，我知道他其实并不喜欢我。
• His manner was a blend of friendliness and respect.他的态度友善且毕恭毕敬。

4 shudders   

n.颤动，打颤，战栗( shudder的名词复数 )v.战栗( shudder的第三人称单数 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动

参考例句：

• It gives me the shudders. （（口语））它使我战栗。 来自辞典例句
• The ghastly sight gave him the shudders. 那恐怖的景象使他感到恐惧。 来自辞典例句

5 amazement   

n.惊奇，惊讶

参考例句：

• All those around him looked at him with amazement.周围的人都对他投射出惊异的眼光。
• He looked at me in blank amazement.他带着迷茫惊诧的神情望着我。

6 insistently   

ad.坚持地

参考例句：

• Still Rhett did not look at her. His eyes were bent insistently on Melanie's white face. 瑞德还是看也不看她，他的眼睛死死地盯着媚兰苍白的脸。
• These are the questions which we should think and explore insistently. 怎样实现这一主体性等问题仍要求我们不断思考、探索。

7 reiterated   

反复地说，重申( reiterate的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• "Well, I want to know about it,'she reiterated. “嗯，我一定要知道你的休假日期，"她重复说。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
• Some twenty-two years later President Polk reiterated and elaborated upon these principles. 大约二十二年之后，波尔克总统重申这些原则并且刻意阐释一番。

8 solicitude   

n.焦虑

参考例句：

• Your solicitude was a great consolation to me.你对我的关怀给了我莫大的安慰。
• He is full of tender solicitude towards my sister.他对我妹妹满心牵挂。

9 abruptly   

adv.突然地，出其不意地

参考例句：

• He gestured abruptly for Virginia to get in the car.他粗鲁地示意弗吉尼亚上车。
• I was abruptly notified that a half-hour speech was expected of me.我突然被通知要讲半个小时的话。

10 darting   

v.投掷，投射( dart的现在分词 )；向前冲，飞奔

参考例句：

• Swallows were darting through the clouds. 燕子穿云急飞。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Swallows were darting through the air. 燕子在空中掠过。 来自辞典例句

11 reassured   

adj.使消除疑虑的；使放心的v.再保证，恢复信心( reassure的过去式和过去分词)

参考例句：

• The captain's confidence during the storm reassured the passengers. 在风暴中船长的信念使旅客们恢复了信心。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• The doctor reassured the old lady. 医生叫那位老妇人放心。 来自《简明英汉词典》