What happened to them while before the justice. A chapter very full of learning.
Their fellow-travellers were so engaged in the hot dispute concerning the division of the reward for apprehending1 these innocent people, that they attended very little to their discourse2. They were now arrived at the justice’s house, and had sent one of his servants in to acquaint his worship that they had taken two robbers and brought them before him. The justice, who was just returned from a fox-chase, and had not yet finished his dinner, ordered them to carry the prisoners into the stable, whither they were attended by all the servants in the house, and all the people in the neighbourhood, who flocked together to see them with as much curiosity as if there was something uncommon3 to be seen, or that a rogue4 did not look like other people.
The justice, now being in the height of his mirth and his cups, bethought himself of the prisoners; and, telling his company he believed they should have good sport in their examination, he ordered them into his presence. They had no sooner entered the room than he began to revile5 them, saying, “That robberies on the highway were now grown so frequent, that people could not sleep safely in their beds, and assured them they both should be made examples of at the ensuing assizes.” After he had gone on some time in this manner, he was reminded by his clerk, “That it would be proper to take the depositions6 of the witnesses against them.” Which he bid him do, and he would light his pipe in the meantime. Whilst the clerk was employed in writing down the deposition7 of the fellow who had pretended to be robbed, the justice employed himself in cracking jests on poor Fanny, in which he was seconded by all the company at table. One asked, “Whether she was to be indicted8 for a highwayman?” Another whispered in her ear, “If she had not provided herself a great belly9, he was at her service.” A third said, “He warranted she was a relation of Turpin.” To which one of the company, a great wit, shaking his head, and then his sides, answered, “He believed she was nearer related to Turpis;” at which there was an universal laugh. They were proceeding10 thus with the poor girl, when somebody, smoking the cassock peeping forth11 from under the greatcoat of Adams, cried out, “What have we here, a parson?” “How, sirrah,” says the justice, “do you go robbing in the dress of a clergyman? let me tell you your habit will not entitle you to the benefit of the clergy12.” “Yes,” said the witty13 fellow, “he will have one benefit of clergy, he will be exalted14 above the heads of the people;” at which there was a second laugh. And now the witty spark, seeing his jokes take, began to rise in spirits; and, turning to Adams, challenged him to cap verses, and, provoking him by giving the first blow, he repeated —
“Molle meum levibus cord est vilebile telis.“
Upon which Adams, with a look full of ineffable15 contempt, told him, “He deserved scourging16 for his pronunciation.” The witty fellow answered, “What do you deserve, doctor, for not being able to answer the first time? Why, I’ll give one, you blockhead, with an S.
”‘Si licet, ut fulvum spectatur in ignibus haurum.‘
“What, canst not with an M neither? Thou art a pretty fellow for a parson! Why didst not steal some of the parson’s Latin as well as his gown?” Another at the table then answered, “If he had, you would have been too hard for him; I remember you at the college a very devil at this sport; I have seen you catch a freshman17, for nobody that knew you would engage with you.” “I have forgot those things now,” cried the wit. “I believe I could have done pretty well formerly18. Let’s see, what did I end with? — an M again — aye —
”‘Mars, Bacchus, Apollo, virorum.‘
I could have done it once.” “Ah! evil betide you, and so you can now,” said the other: “nobody in this country will undertake you.” Adams could hold no longer: “Friend,” said he, “I have a boy not above eight years old who would instruct thee that the last verse runs thus:—
”‘Ut sunt Divorum, Mars, Bacchus, Apollo, virorum.’“
“I’ll hold thee a guinea of that,” said the wit, throwing the money on the table. “And I’ll go your halves,” cries the other. “Done,” answered Adams; but upon applying to his pocket he was forced to retract19, and own he had no money about him; which set them all a-laughing, and confirmed the triumph of his adversary20, which was not moderate, any more than the approbation21 he met with from the whole company, who told Adams he must go a little longer to school before he attempted to attack that gentleman in Latin.
The clerk, having finished the depositions, as well of the fellow himself, as of those who apprehended22 the prisoners, delivered them to the justice; who, having sworn the several witnesses without reading a syllable23, ordered his clerk to make the mittimus.
Adams then said, “He hoped he should not be condemned24 unheard.” “No, no,” cries the justice, “you will be asked what you have to say for yourself when you come on your trial: we are not trying you now; I shall only commit you to gaol25: if you can prove your innocence26 at size, you will be found ignoramus, and so no harm done.” “Is it no punishment, sir, for an innocent man to lie several months in gaol?” cries Adams: “I beg you would at least hear me before you sign the mittimus.” “What signifies all you can say?” says the justice: “is it not here in black and white against you? I must tell you you are a very impertinent fellow to take up so much of my time. So make haste with his mittimus.”
The clerk now acquainted the justice that among other suspicious things, as a penknife, &c., found in Adams’s pocket, they had discovered a book written, as he apprehended, in cyphers; for no one could read a word in it. “Ay,” says the justice, “the fellow may be more than a common robber, he may be in a plot against the Government. Produce the book.” Upon which the poor manuscript of Aeschylus, which Adams had transcribed27 with his own hand, was brought forth; and the justice, looking at it, shook his head, and, turning to the prisoner, asked the meaning of those cyphers. “Cyphers?” answered Adams, “it is a manuscript of Aeschylus.” “Who? who?” said the justice. Adams repeated, “Aeschylus.” “That is an outlandish name,” cried the clerk. “A fictitious28 name rather, I believe,” said the justice. One of the company declared it looked very much like Greek. “Greek?” said the justice; “why, ’tis all writing.” “No,” says the other, “I don’t positively29 say it is so; for it is a very long time since I have seen any Greek.” “There’s one,” says he, turning to the parson of the parish, who was present, “will tell us immediately.” The parson, taking up the book, and putting on his spectacles and gravity together, muttered some words to himself, and then pronounced aloud — “Ay, indeed, it is a Greek manuscript; a very fine piece of antiquity30. I make no doubt but it was stolen from the same clergyman from whom the rogue took the cassock.” “What did the rascal31 mean by his Aeschylus?” says the justice. “Pooh!” answered the doctor, with a contemptuous grin, “do you think that fellow knows anything of this book? Aeschylus! ho! ho! I see now what it is — a manuscript of one of the fathers. I know a nobleman who would give a great deal of money for such a piece of antiquity. Ay, ay, question and answer. The beginning is the catechism in Greek. Ay, ay, Pollaki toi: What’s your name?” — “Ay, what’s your name?” says the justice to Adams; who answered, “It is Aeschylus, and I will maintain it.” — “Oh! it is,” says the justice: “make Mr Aeschylus his mittimus. I will teach you to banter32 me with a false name.”
One of the company, having looked steadfastly33 at Adams, asked him, “If he did not know Lady Booby?” Upon which Adams, presently calling him to mind, answered in a rapture34, “O squire35! are you there? I believe you will inform his worship I am innocent.” — “I can indeed say,” replied the squire, “that I am very much surprized to see you in this situation:” and then, addressing himself to the justice, he said, “Sir, I assure you Mr Adams is a clergyman, as he appears, and a gentleman of a very good character. I wish you would enquire36 a little farther into this affair; for I am convinced of his innocence.” — “Nay,” says the justice, “if he is a gentleman, and you are sure he is innocent, I don’t desire to commit him, not I: I will commit the woman by herself, and take your bail37 for the gentleman: look into the book, clerk, and see how it is to take bail — come — and make the mittimus for the woman as fast as you can.” — “Sir,” cries Adams, “I assure you she is as innocent as myself.” — “Perhaps,” said the squire, “there may be some mistake! pray let us hear Mr Adams’s relation.” — “With all my heart,” answered the justice; “and give the gentleman a glass to wet his whistle before he begins. I know how to behave myself to gentlemen as well as another. Nobody can say I have committed a gentleman since I have been in the commission.” Adams then began the narrative38, in which, though he was very prolix39, he was uninterrupted, unless by several hums and hahs of the justice, and his desire to repeat those parts which seemed to him most material. When he had finished, the justice, who, on what the squire had said, believed every syllable of his story on his bare affirmation, notwithstanding the depositions on oath to the contrary, began to let loose several rogues40 and rascals41 against the witness, whom he ordered to stand forth, but in vain; the said witness, long since finding what turn matters were likely to take, had privily42 withdrawn43, without attending the issue. The justice now flew into a violent passion, and was hardly prevailed with not to commit the innocent fellows who had been imposed on as well as himself. He swore, “They had best find out the fellow who was guilty of perjury44, and bring him before him within two days, or he would bind45 them all over to their good behaviour.” They all promised to use their best endeavours to that purpose, and were dismissed. Then the justice insisted that Mr Adams should sit down and take a glass with him; and the parson of the parish delivered him back the manuscript without saying a word; nor would Adams, who plainly discerned his ignorance, expose it. As for Fanny, she was, at her own request, recommended to the care of a maid-servant of the house, who helped her to new dress and clean herself.
The company in the parlour had not been long seated before they were alarmed with a horrible uproar46 from without, where the persons who had apprehended Adams and Fanny had been regaling, according to the custom of the house, with the justice’s strong beer. These were all fallen together by the ears, and were cuffing47 each other without any mercy. The justice himself sallied out, and with the dignity of his presence soon put an end to the fray48. On his return into the parlour, he reported, “That the occasion of the quarrel was no other than a dispute to whom, if Adams had been convicted, the greater share of the reward for apprehending him had belonged.” All the company laughed at this, except Adams, who, taking his pipe from his mouth, fetched a deep groan49, and said, “He was concerned to see so litigious a temper in men. That he remembered a story something like it in one of the parishes where his cure lay:— There was,” continued he, “a competition between three young fellows for the place of the clerk, which I disposed of, to the best of my abilities, according to merit; that is, I gave it to him who had the happiest knack50 at setting a psalm51. The clerk was no sooner established in his place than a contention52 began between the two disappointed candidates concerning their excellence53; each contending on whom, had they two been the only competitors, my election would have fallen. This dispute frequently disturbed the congregation, and introduced a discord54 into the psalmody, till I was forced to silence them both. But, alas55! the litigious spirit could not be stifled56; and, being no longer able to vent57 itself in singing, it now broke forth in fighting. It produced many battles (for they were very near a match), and I believe would have ended fatally, had not the death of the clerk given me an opportunity to promote one of them to his place; which presently put an end to the dispute, and entirely58 reconciled the contending parties.” Adams then proceeded to make some philosophical59 observations on the folly60 of growing warm in disputes in which neither party is interested. He then applied61 himself vigorously to smoaking; and a long silence ensued, which was at length broke by the justice, who began to sing forth his own praises, and to value himself exceedingly on his nice discernment in the cause which had lately been before him. He was quickly interrupted by Mr Adams, between whom and his worship a dispute now arose, whether he ought not, in strictness of law, to have committed him, the said Adams; in which the latter maintained he ought to have been committed, and the justice as vehemently62 held he ought not. This had most probably produced a quarrel (for both were very violent and positive in their opinions), had not Fanny accidentally heard that a young fellow was going from the justice’s house to the very inn where the stage-coach in which Joseph was, put up. Upon this news, she immediately sent for the parson out of the parlour. Adams, when he found her resolute63 to go (though she would not own the reason, but pretended she could not bear to see the faces of those who had suspected her of such a crime), was as fully64 determined65 to go with her; he accordingly took leave of the justice and company: and so ended a dispute in which the law seemed shamefully66 to intend to set a magistrate67 and a divine together by the ears.
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apprehending
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| 逮捕，拘押( apprehend的现在分词 )； 理解 | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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uncommon
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| adj.罕见的，非凡的，不平常的 | |
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rogue
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| n.流氓；v.游手好闲 | |
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revile
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| v.辱骂，谩骂 | |
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depositions
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| 沉积（物）( deposition的名词复数 )； （在法庭上的）宣誓作证； 处置； 罢免 | |
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deposition
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| n.免职，罢官；作证；沉淀；沉淀物 | |
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indicted
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| 控告，起诉( indict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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belly
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| n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛 | |
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proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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clergy
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| n.[总称]牧师，神职人员 | |
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witty
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| adj.机智的，风趣的 | |
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exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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ineffable
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| adj.无法表达的，不可言喻的 | |
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scourging
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| 鞭打( scourge的现在分词 )； 惩罚，压迫 | |
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freshman
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| n.大学一年级学生(可兼指男女) | |
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formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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retract
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| vt.缩回，撤回收回，取消 | |
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adversary
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| adj.敌手，对手 | |
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approbation
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| n.称赞；认可 | |
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apprehended
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| 逮捕，拘押( apprehend的过去式和过去分词 )； 理解 | |
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syllable
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| n.音节；vt.分音节 | |
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condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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gaol
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| n.(jail)监狱；(不加冠词)监禁；vt.使…坐牢 | |
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innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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transcribed
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| （用不同的录音手段）转录( transcribe的过去式和过去分词 )； 改编（乐曲）（以适应他种乐器或声部）； 抄写； 用音标标出（声音） | |
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28
fictitious
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| adj.虚构的，假设的；空头的 | |
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positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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antiquity
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| n.古老；高龄；古物，古迹 | |
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rascal
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| n.流氓；不诚实的人 | |
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banter
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| n.嘲弄，戏谑；v.取笑，逗弄，开玩笑 | |
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steadfastly
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| adv.踏实地，不变地；岿然；坚定不渝 | |
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rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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squire
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| n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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enquire
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| v.打听，询问；调查，查问 | |
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bail
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| v.舀（水），保释；n.保证金，保释，保释人 | |
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narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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prolix
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| adj.罗嗦的；冗长的 | |
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rogues
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| n.流氓( rogue的名词复数 )；无赖；调皮捣蛋的人；离群的野兽 | |
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rascals
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| 流氓( rascal的名词复数 )； 无赖； （开玩笑说法）淘气的人（尤指小孩）； 恶作剧的人 | |
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privily
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| adv.暗中，秘密地 | |
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withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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perjury
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| n.伪证；伪证罪 | |
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45
bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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uproar
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| n.骚动，喧嚣，鼎沸 | |
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cuffing
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| v.掌打，拳打( cuff的现在分词 )；袖口状白血球聚集 | |
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fray
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| v.争吵；打斗；磨损，磨破；n.吵架；打斗 | |
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49
groan
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| vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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50
knack
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| n.诀窍，做事情的灵巧的，便利的方法 | |
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psalm
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| n.赞美诗，圣诗 | |
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52
contention
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| n.争论，争辩，论战；论点，主张 | |
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excellence
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| n.优秀，杰出，(pl.)优点，美德 | |
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discord
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| n.不和，意见不合，争论，（音乐）不和谐 | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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56
stifled
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| （使）窒息， （使）窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 )； 镇压，遏制； 堵 | |
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57
vent
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| n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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philosophical
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| adj.哲学家的，哲学上的，达观的 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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vehemently
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| adv. 热烈地 | |
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resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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66
shamefully
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| 可耻地； 丢脸地； 不体面地； 羞耻地 | |
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magistrate
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| n.地方行政官，地方法官，治安官 | |
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