The history of two friends, which may afford an useful lesson to all those persons who happen to take up their residence in married families.
“Leonard and Paul were two friends.” — “Pronounce it Lennard, child,” cried the parson. — “Pray, Mr Adams,” says Lady Booby, “let your son read without interruption.” Dick then proceeded. “Lennard and Paul were two friends, who, having been educated together at the same school, commenced a friendship which they preserved a long time for each other. It was so deeply fixed2 in both their minds, that a long absence, during which they had maintained no correspondence, did not eradicate3 nor lessen4 it: but it revived in all its force at their first meeting, which was not till after fifteen years’ absence, most of which time Lennard had spent in the East Indi-es.” — “Pronounce it short, Indies,” says Adams. — “Pray? sir, be quiet,” says the lady. — The boy repeated — “in the East Indies, whilst Paul had served his king and country in the army. In which different services they had found such different success, that Lennard was now married, and retired5 with a fortune of thirty thousand pounds; and Paul was arrived to the degree of a lieutenant6 of foot; and was not worth a single shilling.
“The regiment7 in which Paul was stationed happened to be ordered into quarters within a small distance from the estate which Lennard had purchased, and where he was settled. This latter, who was now become a country gentleman, and a justice of peace, came to attend the quarter sessions in the town where his old friend was quartered, soon after his arrival. Some affair in which a soldier was concerned occasioned Paul to attend the justices. Manhood, and time, and the change of climate had so much altered Lennard, that Paul did not immediately recollect8 the features of his old acquaintance: but it was otherwise with Lennard. He knew Paul the moment he saw him; nor could he contain himself from quitting the bench, and running hastily to embrace him. Paul stood at first a little surprized; but had soon sufficient information from his friend, whom he no sooner remembered than he returned his embrace with a passion which made many of the spectators laugh, and gave to some few a much higher and more agreeable sensation.
“Not to detain the reader with minute circumstances, Lennard insisted on his friend’s returning with him to his house that evening; which request was complied with, and leave for a month’s absence for Paul obtained of the commanding officer.
“If it was possible for any circumstance to give any addition to the happiness which Paul proposed in this visit, he received that additional pleasure by finding, on his arrival at his friend’s house, that his lady was an old acquaintance which he had formerly9 contracted at his quarters, and who had always appeared to be of a most agreeable temper; a character she had ever maintained among her intimates, being of that number, every individual of which is called quite the best sort of woman in the world.
“But, good as this lady was, she was still a woman; that is to say, an angel, and not an angel.” — “You must mistake, child,” cries the parson, “for you read nonsense.” — “It is so in the book,” answered the son. Mr Adams was then silenced by authority, and Dick proceeded — “For though her person was of that kind to which men attribute the name of angel, yet in her mind she was perfectly10 woman. Of which a great degree of obstinacy11 gave the most remarkable12 and perhaps most pernicious instance.
“A day or two passed after Paul’s arrival before any instances of this appeared; but it was impossible to conceal13 it long. Both she and her husband soon lost all apprehension14 from their friend’s presence, and fell to their disputes with as much vigour15 as ever. These were still pursued with the utmost ardour and eagerness, however trifling16 the causes were whence they first arose. Nay17, however incredible it may seem, the little consequence of the matter in debate was frequently given as a reason for the fierceness of the contention18, as thus: ‘If you loved me, sure you would never dispute with me such a trifle as this.’ The answer to which is very obvious; for the argument would hold equally on both sides, and was constantly retorted with some addition, as — ‘I am sure I have much more reason to say so, who am in the right.’ During all these disputes, Paul always kept strict silence, and preserved an even countenance19, without showing the least visible inclination20 to either party. One day, however, when madam had left the room in a violent fury, Lennard could not refrain from referring his cause to his friend. Was ever anything so unreasonable21, says he, as this woman? What shall I do with her? I doat on her to distraction22; nor have I any cause to complain of, more than this obstinacy in her temper; whatever she asserts, she will maintain against all the reason and conviction in the world. Pray give me your advice. — First, says Paul, I will give my opinion, which is, flatly, that you are in the wrong; for, supposing she is in the wrong, was the subject of your contention any ways material? What signified it whether you was married in a red or a yellow waistcoat? for that was your dispute. Now, suppose she was mistaken; as you love her you say so tenderly, and I believe she deserves it, would it not have been wiser to have yielded, though you certainly knew yourself in the right, than to give either her or yourself any uneasiness. For my own part, if ever I marry, I am resolved to enter into an agreement with my wife, that in all disputes (especially about trifles) that party who is most convinced they are right shall always surrender the victory; by which means we shall both be forward to give up the cause. I own, said Lennard, my dear friend, shaking him by the hand, there is great truth and reason in what you say; and I will for the future endeavour to follow your advice. They soon after broke up the conversation, and Lennard, going to his wife, asked her pardon, and told her his friend had convinced him he had been in the wrong. She immediately began a vast encomium23 on Paul, in which he seconded her, and both agreed he was the worthiest24 and wisest man upon earth. When next they met, which was at supper, though she had promised not to mention what her husband told her, she could not forbear casting the kindest and most affectionate looks on Paul, and asked him, with the sweetest voice, whether she should help him to some potted woodcock? Potted partridge, my dear, you mean, says the husband. My dear, says she, I ask your friend if he will eat any potted woodcock; and I am sure I must know, who potted it. I think I should know too, who shot them, replied the husband, and I am convinced that I have not seen a woodcock this year; however, though I know I am in the right, I submit, and the potted partridge is potted woodcock if you desire to have it so. It is equal to me, says she, whether it is one or the other; but you would persuade one out of one’s senses; to be sure, you are always in the right in your own opinion; but your friend, I believe, knows which he is eating. Paul answered nothing, and the dispute continued, as usual, the greatest part of the evening. The next morning the lady, accidentally meeting Paul, and being convinced he was her friend, and of her side, accosted25 him thus:— I am certain, sir, you have long since wondered at the unreasonableness26 of my husband. He is indeed, in other respects, a good sort of man, but so positive, that no woman but one of my complying temper could possibly live with him. Why, last night, now, was ever any creature so unreasonable? I am certain you must condemn27 him. Pray, answer me, was he not in the wrong? Paul, after a short silence, spoke28 as follows: I am sorry, madam, that, as good manners obliges me to answer against my will, so an adherence29 to truth forces me to declare myself of a different opinion. To be plain and honest, you was entirely30 in the wrong; the cause I own not worth disputing, but the bird was undoubtedly31 a partridge. O sir! replyed the lady, I cannot possibly help your taste. Madam, returned Paul, that is very little material; for, had it been otherwise, a husband might have expected submission32. — Indeed! sir, says she, I assure you! — Yes, madam, cryed he, he might, from a person of your excellent understanding; and pardon me for saying, such a condescension33 would have shown a superiority of sense even to your husband himself. — But, dear sir, said she, why should I submit when I am in the right? — For that very reason, answered he; it would be the greatest instance of affection imaginable; for can anything be a greater object of our compassion34 than a person we love in the wrong? Ay, but I should endeavour, said she, to set him right. Pardon me, madam, answered Paul: I will apply to your own experience if you ever found your arguments had that effect. The more our judgments35 err1, the less we are willing to own it: for my own part, I have always observed the persons who maintain the worst side in any contest are the warmest. Why, says she, I must confess there is truth in what you say, and I will endeavour to practise it. The husband then coming in, Paul departed. And Leonard, approaching his wife with an air of good humour, told her he was sorry for their foolish dispute the last night; but he was now convinced of his error. She answered, smiling, she believed she owed his condescension to his complacence; that she was ashamed to think a word had passed on so silly an occasion, especially as she was satisfyed she had been mistaken. A little contention followed, but with the utmost good-will to each other, and was concluded by her asserting that Paul had thoroughly36 convinced her she had been in the wrong. Upon which they both united in the praises of their common friend.
“Paul now passed his time with great satisfaction, these disputes being much less frequent, as well as shorter than usual; but the devil, or some unlucky accident in which perhaps the devil had no hand, shortly put an end to his happiness. He was now eternally the private referee37 of every difference; in which, after having perfectly, as he thought, established the doctrine38 of submission, he never scrupled39 to assure both privately41 that they were in the right in every argument, as before he had followed the contrary method. One day a violent litigation happened in his absence, and both parties agreed to refer it to his decision. The husband professing42 himself sure the decision would be in his favour; the wife answered, he might be mistaken; for she believed his friend was convinced how seldom she was to blame; and that if he knew all — The husband replied, My dear, I have no desire of any retrospect43; but I believe, if you knew all too, you would not imagine my friend so entirely on your side. Nay, says she, since you provoke me, I will mention one instance. You may remember our dispute about sending Jackey to school in cold weather, which point I gave up to you from mere44 compassion, knowing myself to be in the right; and Paul himself told me afterwards he thought me so. My dear, replied the husband, I will not scruple40 your veracity45; but I assure you solemnly, on my applying to him, he gave it absolutely on my side, and said he would have acted in the same manner. They then proceeded to produce numberless other instances, in all which Paul had, on vows46 of secresy, given his opinion on both sides. In the conclusion, both believing each other, they fell severely47 on the treachery of Paul, and agreed that he had been the occasion of almost every dispute which had fallen out between them. They then became extremely loving, and so full of condescension on both sides, that they vyed with each other in censuring48 their own conduct, and jointly49 vented50 their indignation on Paul, whom the wife, fearing a bloody51 consequence, earnestly entreated52 her husband to suffer quietly to depart the next day, which was the time fixed for his return to quarters, and then drop his acquaintance.
“However ungenerous this behaviour in Lennard may be esteemed53, his wife obtained a promise from him (though with difficulty) to follow her advice; but they both expressed such unusual coldness that day to Paul, that he, who was quick of apprehension, taking Lennard aside, pressed him so home, that he at last discovered the secret. Paul acknowledged the truth, but told him the design with which he had done it. — To which the other answered, he would have acted more friendly to have let him into the whole design; for that he might have assured himself of his secresy. Paul replyed, with some indignation, he had given him a sufficient proof how capable he was of concealing54 a secret from his wife. Lennard returned with some warmth — he had more reason to upbraid55 him, for that he had caused most of the quarrels between them by his strange conduct, and might (if they had not discovered the affair to each other) have been the occasion of their separation. Paul then said” — But something now happened which put a stop to Dick’s reading, and of which we shall treat in the next chapter.
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err
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| vi.犯错误，出差错 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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eradicate
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| v.根除，消灭，杜绝 | |
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lessen
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| vt.减少，减轻；缩小 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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lieutenant
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| n.陆军中尉，海军上尉；代理官员，副职官员 | |
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regiment
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| n.团，多数，管理；v.组织，编成团，统制 | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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obstinacy
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| n.顽固；（病痛等）难治 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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vigour
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| （=vigor）n.智力，体力，精力 | |
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trifling
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| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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contention
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| n.争论，争辩，论战；论点，主张 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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distraction
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| n.精神涣散，精神不集中，消遣，娱乐 | |
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encomium
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| n.赞颂；颂词 | |
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worthiest
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| 应得某事物( worthy的最高级 )； 值得做某事； 可尊敬的； 有（某人或事物）的典型特征 | |
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accosted
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| v.走过去跟…讲话( accost的过去式和过去分词 )；跟…搭讪；（乞丐等）上前向…乞讨；（妓女等）勾搭 | |
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unreasonableness
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| 无理性； 横逆 | |
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condemn
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| vt.谴责，指责；宣判(罪犯)，判刑 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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adherence
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| n.信奉，依附，坚持，固着 | |
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30
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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32
submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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33
condescension
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| n.自以为高人一等，贬低(别人) | |
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compassion
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| n.同情，怜悯 | |
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judgments
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| 判断( judgment的名词复数 )； 鉴定； 评价； 审判 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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referee
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| n.裁判员．仲裁人，代表人，鉴定人 | |
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doctrine
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| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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39
scrupled
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| v.感到于心不安，有顾忌( scruple的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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scruple
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| n./v.顾忌，迟疑 | |
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privately
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| adv.以私人的身份，悄悄地，私下地 | |
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professing
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| 声称( profess的现在分词 )； 宣称； 公开表明； 信奉 | |
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43
retrospect
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| n.回顾，追溯；v.回顾，回想，追溯 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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45
veracity
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| n.诚实 | |
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46
vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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censuring
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| v.指责，非难，谴责( censure的现在分词 ) | |
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jointly
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| ad.联合地，共同地 | |
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vented
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| 表达，发泄（感情，尤指愤怒）( vent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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bloody
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| adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染 | |
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entreated
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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53
esteemed
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| adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 )；敬重；认为；以为 | |
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54
concealing
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 ) | |
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55
upbraid
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| v.斥责，责骂，责备 | |
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