Disillusion1
i
The entrance of George Cannon2 into the parlour produced a tumult3 greatly stimulating4 the vitality5 and the self-consciousness of all three women. Sarah Gailey’s excitement was expressed in flushing, and in characteristic small futile6 movements of the head and hands, and in monosyllables that conveyed naught7 except a vague but keen apprehension8. Mrs. Lessways was perturbed9 and somewhat apprehensive10 also; but she was flattered and pleased. Hilda was frankly11 suspicious during the first moments. She guessed that Mr. Cannon was aware of his sister’s visit, and that he had come to further his own purposes. He confirmed her idea by greeting his sister without apparent surprise; but as, in response to Mrs. Lessways’ insistence12, he took off his great overcoat, with those large, powerful gestures which impress susceptible13 women and give pleasure even to the indifferent, he said casually14 to Sarah Gailey, “I didn’t expect to meet you here, Sally. I’ve come to have a private word with Mrs. Lessways about putting one of her Calder Street tenants15 on to the pavement.” Sarah laughed nervously17 and said that she would retire, and Mrs. Lessways said that Sarah would do no such thing, and that she was very welcome to hear all that Mr. Cannon might have to say concerning the Calder Street property.
In a minute Mr. Cannon was resplendently sitting down to the table with them, and rubbing his friendly hands, and admitting that he should not refuse a cup of tea if pressed. And Hilda received her mother’s sharp instructions to get a cup and saucer from the sideboard and a spoon from the drawer. She bore these to the table like a handmaid, but like a delicate and superior handmaid, and it pleased her to constitute herself a delicate and superior handmaid. Mr. Cannon sat next to her mother, and Hilda put down the tinkling18 cup and saucer on the white cloth between them; and as she did so Mr. Cannon turned and thanked her with a confidential19 smile, to which she responded. They were not now employer and employee, but exclusively in the social world; nevertheless, their business relations made an intimacy20 which it was piquant21 to feel in the home. Moreover, Sarah Gailey was opposite to them, and Hilda could not keep out of her dark eyes the intelligence: “If she is here, if you are all amicable22 together, it is due to me.” Delicious and somehow perilous23 secret!... Going back to her seat, she arranged more safely the vast overcoat which he had thrown carelessly down on her mother’s rocking-chair. It was inordinately24 heavy, and would have outweighed25 a dozen of her skimpy little jackets; she, who would have been lost in it like a cat in a rug, enjoyed the thought of the force of the creature capable of wearing it lightly for a garment. Withal the rough, soft surface of it was agreeable to the hand. Out of one of the immense pockets hung the end of a coloured silk muffler, filmy as anything that she herself wore.
Then they were all definitely seated, and Mr. Cannon accepted his tea from the hand of Mrs. Lessways. The whiteness of his linen26, the new smartness of his suit, the elegance27 and gallantry of his gestures—these phenomena28 incited29 the women to a responsive emulation30; they were something which it was a feminine duty to live up to. Archness reigned31, especially between the hostess and the caller. Hilda answered to the mood. And Sarah Gailey, though she said little and never finished a sentence, did her best to answer to it by noddings and nervous appreciative32 smiles, and swift turnings of the head from one to another. When Mr. Cannon and Mrs. Lessways, in half a dozen serious words interjected among the archness, had adversely33 settled the fate of a whole family in Calder Street, there remained scarcely a trace, in the company’s demeanour, of the shamed consciousness that only two days before its members had been divided by disastrous34 enmities and that one of them had lacked the means of life.
ii
“Oh no! my dear girl! You’re too modest—that’s what’s the matter with you,” said George Cannon eagerly to his half-sister. The epithet35 flattered but did not allay36 her timidity. To Hilda it seemed mysteriously romantic.
The supreme37 topic had worked its way into the conversation. Uppermost in the minds of all, it seemed to have forced itself out by its own intrinsic energy, against the will of the company. Impossible to decide who first had let it forth38! But George Cannon had now fairly seized it and run off with it. He was almost boyishly excited over it. The Latin strain in him animated39 his features and his speech. He was a poet as he talked of the boarding-house that awaited a mistress. He had pulled out of his pocket the cutting of an advertisement of it from the London Daily Telegraph, a paper that was never seen in Turnhill. And this bit of paper, describing in four lines the advantages of the boarding-house, had the effect of giving the actual house a symbolic40 reality. “There it is!” he exclaimed, slapping down the paper. And there it appeared really to be. The bit of paper was extraordinarily41 persuasive42. It compelled everybody to realize, now for the first time, that the house did in fact exist. George Cannon had an overwhelming answer to all timorous43 objections. The boarding-house was remunerative44; boarders were at that very moment in it. The nominal45 proprietor46 was not leaving it because he was losing money on the boarding-house, but because he had lost money in another enterprise quite foreign to it, and had pledged all the contents of the boarding-house as security. The occasion was one in a thousand, one in a million. He, George Cannon, through a client, had the entire marvellous affair between his finger and thumb, and most obviously Sarah Gailey was the woman of all women for the vacant post at his disposition47. Chance was waiting on her. She had nothing whatever to do but walk into the house as a regent into a kingdom, and rule. Only, delay was impossible. All was possible except delay. She would inevitably48 succeed; she could not fail. And it would be a family affair....
Tea was finished and forgotten.
“For your own sake!” he wound up a peroration49. “It really doesn’t matter to me.... Don’t you agree with me, Mrs. Lessways?” His glance was a homage50.
“Oh, you!” exclaimed Mrs. Lessways, smiling happily. “You’ve only got to open your mouth, and you’d talk anybody into the middle of next week.”
“Mother!” Hilda mildly reproved. She was convinced now that Mr. Cannon had come on purpose to clinch51 the affair.
He laughed appreciatively.
“But really! Seriously!” he insisted.
And Mrs. Lessways, straightening her face, said, with slight self-consciousness: “Oh, I think it’s worth while considering!”
“There you are!” cried Mr. Cannon to Miss Gailey.
“I shall be all alone up there!” said Miss Gailey, as cheerfully as she could.
“I’ll go up with you and see you into the place. I should have to come back the same night—I’m so tremendously busy just now—what with the paper and so on.”
“Yes, but—I quite admit all you say, George—but—”
“Here’s another idea,” he broke out. “Why don’t you ask Mrs. Lessways to go up with you and stay a week or two? It would be a rare change for her, and company for you.”
Miss Gailey looked quickly at her old friend.
“Oh! Bless you!” said Mrs. Lessways. “I’ve only been to London once, and that was only for two days—before Hilda was born. I should be no use in London, at my time of life. I’m one of your home-stayers.” Nevertheless it was plain that the notion appealed to her fancy, and that she would enjoy flirting52 with it.
“Nonsense, Mrs. Lessways!” said George Cannon. “It would do you a world of good, and it would make all the difference to Sally.”
“That it would!” Sarah agreed, still questioning Caroline with her watery53, appealing eyes. In Caroline, Sarah saw her salvation54, and snatched at it. Caroline could no nothing well; she had no excellence55; all that Caroline could do Sarah could do better. And yet Caroline, by the mysterious virtue56 of her dry and yet genial57 shrewdness, and of the unstable58 but reliable equilibrium59 of her temperament60, was the skilled Sarah’s superior. They both knew it and felt it. The lofty Hilda admitted it. Caroline herself negligently61 admitted it by a peculiar62, brusque, unaffected geniality63 of condescension64 towards Sarah.
“Do go, mother!” said Hilda. To herself she had been saying: “Another of his wonderful ideas!” The prospect65 of being alone in the house with Florrie, of being free for a space to live her own life untrammelled and throw all her ardour into her work, was inexpressibly attractive to Hilda. It promised the most delicious experience that she had ever had.
“Yes,” retorted Mrs. Lessways. “And leave you here by yourself! A nice thing!”
“I shall be all right,” said Hilda confidently and joyously66. She was sure that the excursion to London had appealed to her mother’s latent love of the unexpected, and that her faculty67 for accepting placidly68 whatever fate offered would prevent her from resisting the pressure that Sarah Gailey and Mr. Cannon would obviously exert.
“Shall you!” Mrs. Lessways muttered.
“Why not take your daughter with you, too?” Mr. Cannon suggested.
“Oh!” cried Hilda, shocked. “I couldn’t possibly leave my work just now.... The paper just coming out.... You couldn’t spare me.” She spoke69 with pride, using phrases similar to those which he had used to explain to Sarah Gailey why he could not remain with her in London even for a night.
“Oh yes, I could,” he answered kindly70, lightly, carelessly, shattering—in his preoccupation with one idea—all her fine, loyal pretensions71. “We should manage all right.”
iii
She was hurt. She was mortally pierced. The blow was too cruel. She lowered her glance before his, and fixed72 it on the table-cloth. Her brow darkened. Her lower lip bulged73 out. She was the child again. He had with atrocious inhumanity reduced her to the unimportance of a child. She had bestowed74 on him and his interests the gift of her whole soul, and he had said that it was negligible. And the worst was that he was perfectly75 unaware76 of what he had done. He had not even observed the symptoms of her face. He had turned at once to the older women and was continuing the conversation. He had ridden over her, and ridden on without a look behind. The conversation moved, after a pause, back to the plausible77 excuse for his call. He desired to see some old rent-book which would show how the doomed78 tenant16 in Calder Street had originally fallen into arrears79.
“Where is that old book of Mr. Skellorn’s, Hilda?” her mother asked.
She could not speak. The sob80 was at her throat. If she had spoken it would have burst through, and she would have been not merely the child, but the disgraced child.
“Hilda!” repeated her mother.
Her singular silence drew the attention of all. She blushed a sombre scarlet81. No! She could not speak. She cursed herself. “What a little fool I am! Surely I can...” Useless! She could not speak. She took the one desperate course open to her, and ran out of the room, to the astonishment82 of three puzzled and rather frightened adults. Her shame was now notorious. “Baby! Great baby!” she gnashed at her own inconceivable silliness. Had she no pride?... And now she was in the gloom of the lobby, and she could hear Florrie in the kitchen softly whistling.... She was out in the dark lobby exactly like a foolish, passionate83 child.... She knew all the time that she could easily persuade her mother to leave her alone with Florrie in the house; she had levers to move her mother.... But of what use, now, to do that?
收听单词发音 |
1
disillusion
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| vt.使不再抱幻想，使理想破灭 | |
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cannon
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| n.大炮，火炮；飞机上的机关炮 | |
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tumult
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| n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹 | |
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stimulating
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| adj.有启发性的，能激发人思考的 | |
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vitality
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| n.活力，生命力，效力 | |
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futile
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| adj.无效的，无用的，无希望的 | |
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naught
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| n.无，零 [=nought] | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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perturbed
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| adj.烦燥不安的v.使（某人）烦恼，不安( perturb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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apprehensive
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| adj.担心的，恐惧的，善于领会的 | |
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frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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insistence
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| n.坚持；强调；坚决主张 | |
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susceptible
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| adj.过敏的，敏感的；易动感情的，易受感动的 | |
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casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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tenants
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| n.房客( tenant的名词复数 )；佃户；占用者；占有者 | |
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tenant
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| n.承租人；房客；佃户；v.租借，租用 | |
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nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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tinkling
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| n.丁当作响声 | |
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confidential
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| adj.秘（机）密的，表示信任的，担任机密工作的 | |
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intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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piquant
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| adj.辛辣的，开胃的，令人兴奋的 | |
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amicable
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| adj.和平的，友好的；友善的 | |
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perilous
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| adj.危险的，冒险的 | |
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inordinately
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| adv.无度地，非常地 | |
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outweighed
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| v.在重量上超过( outweigh的过去式和过去分词 )；在重要性或价值方面超过 | |
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linen
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| n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的 | |
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elegance
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| n.优雅；优美，雅致；精致，巧妙 | |
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phenomena
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| n.现象 | |
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incited
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| 刺激，激励，煽动( incite的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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emulation
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| n.竞争；仿效 | |
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reigned
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| vi.当政，统治（reign的过去式形式） | |
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appreciative
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| adj.有鉴赏力的，有眼力的；感激的 | |
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adversely
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| ad.有害地 | |
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disastrous
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| adj.灾难性的，造成灾害的；极坏的，很糟的 | |
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epithet
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| n.（用于褒贬人物等的）表述形容词，修饰语 | |
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allay
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| v.消除，减轻(恐惧、怀疑等) | |
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supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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animated
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| adj.生气勃勃的，活跃的，愉快的 | |
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symbolic
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| adj.象征性的，符号的，象征主义的 | |
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extraordinarily
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| adv.格外地；极端地 | |
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persuasive
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| adj.有说服力的，能说得使人相信的 | |
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timorous
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| adj.胆怯的，胆小的 | |
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remunerative
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| adj.有报酬的 | |
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nominal
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| adj.名义上的；(金额、租金)微不足道的 | |
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proprietor
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| n.所有人；业主；经营者 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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peroration
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| n.（演说等之）结论 | |
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homage
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| n.尊敬，敬意，崇敬 | |
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clinch
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| v.敲弯，钉牢；确定；扭住对方 [参]clench | |
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flirting
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| v.调情，打情骂俏( flirt的现在分词 ) | |
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watery
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| adj.有水的，水汪汪的；湿的，湿润的 | |
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salvation
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| n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困 | |
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excellence
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| n.优秀，杰出，(pl.)优点，美德 | |
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virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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genial
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| adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的 | |
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unstable
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| adj.不稳定的，易变的 | |
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equilibrium
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| n.平衡，均衡，相称，均势，平静 | |
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temperament
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| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
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negligently
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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geniality
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| n.和蔼，诚恳；愉快 | |
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condescension
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| n.自以为高人一等，贬低(别人) | |
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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joyously
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| ad.快乐地, 高兴地 | |
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faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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placidly
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| adv.平稳地，平静地 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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pretensions
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| 自称( pretension的名词复数 )； 自命不凡； 要求； 权力 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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bulged
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| 凸出( bulge的过去式和过去分词 )； 充满； 塞满（某物） | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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unaware
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| a.不知道的，未意识到的 | |
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plausible
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| adj.似真实的，似乎有理的，似乎可信的 | |
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doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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arrears
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| n.到期未付之债，拖欠的款项；待做的工作 | |
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sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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