Night
Three days had passed, and Orlando Brotherson sat in his room at the hotel before a table laden1 with telegrams, letters and marked newspapers. The news of his achievement had gone abroad, and Derby was, for the moment, the centre of interest for two continents.
His success was an established fact. The second trial which he had made with his car, this time with the whole town gathered together in the streets as witnesses, had proved not only the reliability2 of its mechanism3, but the great advantages which it possessed4 for a direct flight to any given point. Already he saw Fortune beckoning5 to him in the shape of an unconditional6 offer of money from a first-class source; and better still,— for he was a man of untiring energy and boundless7 resource — that opportunity for new and enlarged effort which comes with the recognition of one’s exceptional powers.
All this was his and more. A sweeter hope, a more enduring joy had followed hard upon gratified ambition. Doris had smiled on him; — Doris! She had caught the contagion8 of the universal enthusiasm and had given him her first ungrudging token of approval. It had altered his whole outlook on life in an instant, for there was an eagerness in this demonstration10 which proclaimed the relieved heart. She no longer trusted either appearances or her dream. He had succeeded in conquering her doubts by the very force of his personality, and the shadow which had hitherto darkened their intercourse12 had melted quite away. She was ready to take his word now and Oswald’s, after which the rest must follow. Love does not lag far behind an ardent13 admiration14.
Fame! Fortune! Love! What more could a man desire? What more could this man, with his strenuous15 past and an unlimited16 capacity for an enlarged future, ask from fate than this. Yet, as he bends over his letters, fingering some, but reading none beyond a line or two, he betrays but a passing elation17, and hardly lifts his head when a burst of loud acclaim18 comes ringing up to his window from some ardent passer-by: “Hurrah for Brotherson! He has put our town on the map!”
Why this despondency? Have those two demons11 seized him again? It would seem so and with new and overmastering fury. After the hour of triumph comes the hour of reckoning. Orlando Brotherson in his hour of proud attainment19 stands naked before his own soul’s tribunal and the pleader is dumb and the judge inexorable. There is but one Witness to such struggles; but one eye to note the waste and desolation of the devastated20 soul, when the storm is over past.
Orlando Brotherson has succumbed21; the attack was too keen, his forces too shaken. But as the heavy minutes pass, he slowly re-gathers his strength and rises, in the end, a conqueror22. Nevertheless, he knows, even in that moment of regained23 command, that the peace he had thus bought with strain and stress is but momentary24; that the battle is on for life: that the days which to other eyes would carry a sense of brilliancy — days teeming25 with work and outward satisfaction — would hold within their hidden depths a brooding uncertainty26 which would rob applause of its music and even overshadow the angel face of Love.
He quailed27 at the prospect28, materialist29 though he was. The days — the interminable days! In his unbroken strength and the glare of the noonday sun, he forgot to take account of the nights looming30 in black and endless procession before him. It was from the day phantom31 he shrank, and not from the ghoul which works in the darkness and makes a grave of the heart while happier mortals sleep.
And the former terror seemed formidable enough to him in this his hour of startling realisation, even if he had freed himself for the nonce from its controlling power. To escape all further contemplation of it he would work. These letters deserved attention. He would carry them to Oswald, and in their consideration find distraction32 for the rest of the day, at least. Oswald was a good fellow. If pleasure were to be gotten from these tokens of good-will, he should have his share of it. A gleam of Oswald’s old spirit in Oswald’s once bright eye, would go far towards throttling33 one of those demons whose talons34 he had just released from his throat; and if Doris responded too, he would deserve his fate, if he did not succeed in gaining that mastery of himself which would make such hours as these but episodes in a life big with interest and potent35 with great emotions.
Rising with a resolute36 air, he made a bundle of his papers and, with them in hand, passed out of his room and down the hotel stairs.
A man stood directly in his way, as he made for the front door. It was Mr. Challoner.
Courtesy demanded some show of recognition between them, and Brotherson was passing with his usual cold bow, when a sudden impulse led him to pause and meet the other’s eye, with the sarcastic37 remark:
“You have expressed, or so I have been told, some surprise at my choice of mechanician. A man of varied38 accomplishments39, Mr. Challoner, but one for whom I have no further use. If, therefore, you wish to call off your watch-dog, you are at liberty to do so. I hardly think he can be serviceable to either of us much longer.”
The older gentleman hesitated, seeking possibly for composure, and when he answered it was not only without irony40 but with a certain forced respect:
“Mr. Sweetwater has just left for New York, Mr. Brotherson. He will carry with him, no doubt, the full particulars of your great success.”
Orlando bowed, this time with distinguished41 grace. Not a flicker42 of relief had disturbed the calm serenity43 of his aspect, yet when a moment later, he stepped among his shouting admirers in the street, his air and glance betrayed a bounding joy for which another source must be found than that of gratified pride. A chain had slipped from his spirit, and though the people shrank a little, even while they cheered, it was rather from awe44 of his bearing and the recognition of that sense of apartness which underlay45 his smile than from any perception of the man’s real nature or of the awesome46 purpose which at that moment exalted47 it. But had they known — could they have seen into this tumultuous heart — what a silence would have settled upon these noisy streets; and in what terror and soul-confusion would each man have slunk away from his fellows into the quiet and solitude48 of his own home.
Brotherson himself was not without a sense of the incongruity49 underlying50 this ovation51; for, as he slowly worked himself along, the brightness of his look became dimmed with a tinge52 of sarcasm53 which in its turn gave way to an expression of extreme melancholy55 — both quite unbefitting the hero of the hour in the first flush of his new-born glory. Had he seen Doris’ youthful figure emerge for a moment from the vine-hung porch he was approaching, bringing with it some doubt of the reception awaiting him? Possibly, for he made a stand before he reached the house, and sent his followers56 back; after which he advanced with an unhurrying step, so that several minutes elapsed before he finally drew up before Mr. Scott’s door and entered through the now empty porch into his brother’s sitting-room57.
He had meant to see Doris first, but his mind had changed. If all passed off well between himself and Oswald, if he found his brother responsive and wide-awake to the interests and necessities of the hour, he might forego his interview with her till he felt better prepared to meet it. For call it cowardice58 or simply a reasonable precaution, any delay seemed preferable to him in his present mood of discouragement, to that final casting of the die upon which hung so many and such tremendous issues. It was the first moment of real halt in his whole tumultuous life! Never, as daring experimentalist or agitator59, had he shrunk from danger seen or unseen or from threat uttered or unuttered, as he shrank from this young girl’s no; and something of the dread60 he had felt lest he should encounter her unaware61 in the hall and so be led on to speak when his own judgment62 bade him be silent, darkened his features as he entered his brother’s presence.
But Oswald was sunk in a bitter revery of his own, and took no heed63 of these signs of depression. In the re-action following these days of great excitement, the past had re-asserted itself, and all was gloom in his once generous soul. This, Orlando had time to perceive, quick as the change came when his brother really realised who his visitor was. The glad “Orlando!” and the forced smile did not deceive him, and his voice quavered a trifle as he held out his packet with the words:
“I have come to show you what the world says of my invention. We will soon be great men,” he emphasised, as Oswald opened the letters. “Money has been offered me and — Read! read!” he urged, with an unconscious dictatorialness, as Oswald paused in his task. “See what the fates have prepared for us; for you shall share all my honours, as you will from this day share my work and enter into all my experiments. Cannot you enthuse a little bit over it? Doesn’t the prospect contain any allurement64 for you? Would you rather stay locked up in this petty town —”
“Yes; or — die. Don’t look like that, Orlando. It was a cowardly speech and I ask your pardon. I’m hardly fit to talk to-day. Edith —”
Orlando frowned.
“Not that name!” he harshly interrupted. “You must not hamper65 your life with useless memories. That dream of yours may be sacred, but it belongs to the past, and a great reality confronts you. When you have fully66 recovered your health, your own manhood will rebel at a weakness unworthy one of our name. Rouse yourself, Oswald. Take account of our prospects67. Give me your hand and say, ‘Life holds something for me yet. I have a brother who needs me if I do not need him. Together, we can prove ourselves invincible68 and wrench69 fame and fortune from the world.’”
But the hand he reached for did not rise at his command, though Oswald started erect70 and faced him with manly71 earnestness.
“I should have to think long and deeply,” he said, “before I took upon myself responsibilities like these. I am broken in mind and heart, Orlando, and must remain so till God mercifully delivers me. I should be a poor assistant to you — a drag, rather than a help. Deeply as I deplore72 it, hard as it may be for one of your temperament73 to understand so complete an overthrow74, I yet must acknowledge my condition and pray you not to count upon me in any plans you may form. I know how this looks — I know that as your brother and truest admirer, I should respond, and respond strongly, to such overtures75 as these, but the motive76 for achievement is gone. She was my all; and while I might work, it would be mechanically. The lift, the elevating thought is gone.”
Orlando stood a moment studying his brother’s face; then he turned shortly about and walked the length of the room. When he came back, he took up his stand again directly before Oswald, and asked, with a new note in his voice:
“Did you love Edith Challoner so much as that?”
A glance from Oswald’s eye, sadder than any tear.
“So that you cannot be reconciled?”
A gesture. Oswald’s words were always few.
Orlando’s frown deepened.
“Such grief I partly understand,” said he. “But time will cure it. Some day another lovely face —”
“We’ll not talk of that, Orlando.”
“No, we’ll not talk of that,” acquiesced77 the inventor, walking away again, this time to the window. “For you there’s but one woman; — and she’s a memory.”
“Killed!” broke from his brother’s lips. “Slain by her own hand under an impulse of wildness and terror! Can I ever forget that? Do not expect it, Orlando.”
“Then you do blame me?” Orlando turned and was looking full at Oswald.
“I blame your unreasonableness78 and your overweening pride.”
Orlando stood a moment, then moved towards the door. The heaviness of his step smote79 upon Oswald’s ear and caused him to exclaim:
“Forgive me, Orlando.” But the other cut him short with an imperative80:
“Thanks for your candour! If her spirit is destined81 to stand like an immovable shadow between you and me, you do right to warn me. But this interview must end all allusion82 to the subject. I will seek and find another man to share my fortunes; (as he said this he approached suddenly, and took his papers from the other’s hand) or —” Here he hastily retraced83 his steps to the door which he softly opened. “Or” he repeated — But though Oswald listened for the rest, it did not come. While he waited, the other had given him one deeply concentrated look and passed out.
No heartfelt understanding was possible between these two men.
Crossing the hall, Orlando knocked at the door of Doris’ little sitting-room.
No answer, yet she was there. He knew it in every throbbing84 fibre of his body. She was there and quite aware of his presence; of this he felt sure; yet she did not bid him enter. Should he knock again? Never! but he would not quit the threshold, not if she kept him waiting there for hours. Perhaps she realised this. Perhaps she had meant to open the door to him from the very first, who can tell? What avails is that she did ultimately open it, and he, meeting her soft eye, wished from his very heart that his impulse had led him another way, even if that way had been to the edge of the precipice85 — and over.
For the face he looked upon was serene86, and there was no serenity in him; rather a confusion of unloosed passions fearful of barrier and yearning87 tumultuously for freedom. But, whatever his revolt, the secret revolt which makes no show in look or movement, he kept his ground and forced a smile of greeting. If her face was quiet, it was also lovely;— too lovely, he felt, for a man to leave it, whatever might come of his lingering.
Nothing in all his life had ever affected88 him like it. For him there was no other woman in the past, the present or the future, and, realising this — taking in to the full what her affection and her trust might be to him in those fearsome days to come, he so dreaded89 a rebuff — he, who had been the courted of women and the admired of men ever since he could remember,— that he failed to respond to her welcome and the simple congratulations she felt forced to repeat. He could neither speak the commonplace, nor listen to it. This was his crucial hour. He must find support here, or yield hopelessly to the maelstrom90 in whose whirl he was caught.
She saw his excitement and faltered91 back a step — a move which she regretted the next minute, for he took advantage of it to enter and close behind him the door which she would never have shut of her own accord. Then he spoke92, abruptly94, passionately95, but in those golden tones which no emotion could render other than alluring96:
“I am an unhappy man, Miss Scott. I see that my presence here is not welcome, yet am sure that it would be so if it were not for a prejudice which your generous nature should be the first to cast aside, in face of the outspoken97 confidence of my brother: Oswald. Doris, little Doris, I love you. I have loved you from the moment of our first meeting. Not to many men is it given to find his heart so late, and when he does, it is for his whole life; no second passion can follow it. I know that I am premature98 in saying this; that you are not prepared to hear such words from me and that it might be wiser for me to withhold99 them, but I must leave Derby soon, and I cannot go until I know whether there is the least hope that you will yet lend a light to my career or whether that career must burn itself to ashes at your feet. Oswald — nay100, hear me out — Oswald lives in his memories; but I must have an active hope — a tangible101 expectation — if I am to be the man I was meant to be. Will you, then, coldly dismiss me, or will you let my whole future life prove to you the innocence102 of my past? I will not hasten anything; all I ask is some indulgence. Time will do the rest.”
“Impossible,” she murmured.
But that was a word for which he had no ear. He saw that she was moved, unexpectedly so; that while her eyes wandered restlessly at times towards the door, they ever came back in girlish wonder, if not fascination103, to his face, emboldening104 him so that he ventured at last, to add:
“Doris, little Doris, I will teach you a marvellous lesson, if you will only turn your dainty ear my way. Love such as mine carries infinite treasure with it. Will you have that treasure heaped, piled before your feet? Your lips say no, but your eyes — the truest eyes I ever saw — whisper a different language. The day will come when you will find your joy in the breast of him you are now afraid to trust.” And not waiting for disclaimer or even a glance of reproach from the eyes he had so wilfully105 misread, he withdrew with a movement as abrupt93 as that with which he had entered.
Why, then, with the memory of this exultant106 hour to fend107 off all shadows, did the midnight find him in his solitary108 hangar in the moonlit woods, a deeply desponding figure again. Beside him, swung the huge machine which represented a life of power and luxury; but he no longer saw it. It called to him with many a creak and quiet snap,— sounds to start his blood and fire his eye a week — nay, a day ago. But he was deaf to this music now; the call went unheeded; the future had no further meaning, for him, nor did he know or think whether he sat in light or in darkness; whether the woods were silent about him, or panting with life and sound. His demon9 had gripped him again and the final battle was on. There would never be another. Mighty109 as he felt himself to be, there were limits even to his capacity for endurance. He could sustain no further conflict. How then would it end? He never had a doubt himself! Yet he sat there.
Around him in the forest, the night owls110 screeched111 and innumerable small things without a name, skurried from lair112 to lair.
He heard them not.
Above, the moon rode, flecking the deepest shadows with the silver from her half-turned urn54, but none of the soft and healing drops fell upon him. Nature was no longer a goddess, but an avenger113; light a revealer, not a solace114. Darkness the only boon115.
Nor had time a meaning. From early eve to early morn he sat there and knew not if it were one hour or twelve. Earth was his no longer. He roused, when the sun made everything light about him, but he did not think about it. He rose, but was not conscious that he rose. He unlocked the door and stepped out into the forest; but he could never remember doing this. He only knew later that he had been in the woods and now was in his room at the hotel; all the rest was phantasmagoria, agony and defeat.
He had crossed the Rubicon of this world’s hopes and fears, but he had been unconscious of the passage.
1 laden | |
adj.装满了的;充满了的;负了重担的;苦恼的 | |
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2 reliability | |
n.可靠性,确实性 | |
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3 mechanism | |
n.机械装置;机构,结构 | |
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4 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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5 beckoning | |
adj.引诱人的,令人心动的v.(用头或手的动作)示意,召唤( beckon的现在分词 ) | |
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6 unconditional | |
adj.无条件的,无限制的,绝对的 | |
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7 boundless | |
adj.无限的;无边无际的;巨大的 | |
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8 contagion | |
n.(通过接触的疾病)传染;蔓延 | |
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9 demon | |
n.魔鬼,恶魔 | |
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10 demonstration | |
n.表明,示范,论证,示威 | |
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11 demons | |
n.恶人( demon的名词复数 );恶魔;精力过人的人;邪念 | |
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12 intercourse | |
n.性交;交流,交往,交际 | |
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13 ardent | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,强烈的,烈性的 | |
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14 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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15 strenuous | |
adj.奋发的,使劲的;紧张的;热烈的,狂热的 | |
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16 unlimited | |
adj.无限的,不受控制的,无条件的 | |
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17 elation | |
n.兴高采烈,洋洋得意 | |
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18 acclaim | |
v.向…欢呼,公认;n.欢呼,喝彩,称赞 | |
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19 attainment | |
n.达到,到达;[常pl.]成就,造诣 | |
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20 devastated | |
v.彻底破坏( devastate的过去式和过去分词);摧毁;毁灭;在感情上(精神上、财务上等)压垮adj.毁坏的;极为震惊的 | |
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21 succumbed | |
不再抵抗(诱惑、疾病、攻击等)( succumb的过去式和过去分词 ); 屈从; 被压垮; 死 | |
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22 conqueror | |
n.征服者,胜利者 | |
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23 regained | |
复得( regain的过去式和过去分词 ); 赢回; 重回; 复至某地 | |
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24 momentary | |
adj.片刻的,瞬息的;短暂的 | |
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25 teeming | |
adj.丰富的v.充满( teem的现在分词 );到处都是;(指水、雨等)暴降;倾注 | |
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26 uncertainty | |
n.易变,靠不住,不确知,不确定的事物 | |
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27 quailed | |
害怕,发抖,畏缩( quail的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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28 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
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29 materialist | |
n. 唯物主义者 | |
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30 looming | |
n.上现蜃景(光通过低层大气发生异常折射形成的一种海市蜃楼)v.隐约出现,阴森地逼近( loom的现在分词 );隐约出现,阴森地逼近 | |
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31 phantom | |
n.幻影,虚位,幽灵;adj.错觉的,幻影的,幽灵的 | |
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32 distraction | |
n.精神涣散,精神不集中,消遣,娱乐 | |
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33 throttling | |
v.扼杀( throttle的现在分词 );勒死;使窒息;压制 | |
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34 talons | |
n.(尤指猛禽的)爪( talon的名词复数 );(如爪般的)手指;爪状物;锁簧尖状突出部 | |
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35 potent | |
adj.强有力的,有权势的;有效力的 | |
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36 resolute | |
adj.坚决的,果敢的 | |
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37 sarcastic | |
adj.讥讽的,讽刺的,嘲弄的 | |
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38 varied | |
adj.多样的,多变化的 | |
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39 accomplishments | |
n.造诣;完成( accomplishment的名词复数 );技能;成绩;成就 | |
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40 irony | |
n.反语,冷嘲;具有讽刺意味的事,嘲弄 | |
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41 distinguished | |
adj.卓越的,杰出的,著名的 | |
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42 flicker | |
vi./n.闪烁,摇曳,闪现 | |
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43 serenity | |
n.宁静,沉着,晴朗 | |
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44 awe | |
n.敬畏,惊惧;vt.使敬畏,使惊惧 | |
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45 underlay | |
v.位于或存在于(某物)之下( underlie的过去式 );构成…的基础(或起因),引起n.衬垫物 | |
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46 awesome | |
adj.令人惊叹的,难得吓人的,很好的 | |
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47 exalted | |
adj.(地位等)高的,崇高的;尊贵的,高尚的 | |
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48 solitude | |
n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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49 incongruity | |
n.不协调,不一致 | |
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50 underlying | |
adj.在下面的,含蓄的,潜在的 | |
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51 ovation | |
n.欢呼,热烈欢迎,热烈鼓掌 | |
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52 tinge | |
vt.(较淡)着色于,染色;使带有…气息;n.淡淡色彩,些微的气息 | |
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53 sarcasm | |
n.讥讽,讽刺,嘲弄,反话 (adj.sarcastic) | |
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54 urn | |
n.(有座脚的)瓮;坟墓;骨灰瓮 | |
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55 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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56 followers | |
追随者( follower的名词复数 ); 用户; 契据的附面; 从动件 | |
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57 sitting-room | |
n.(BrE)客厅,起居室 | |
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58 cowardice | |
n.胆小,怯懦 | |
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59 agitator | |
n.鼓动者;搅拌器 | |
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60 dread | |
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
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61 unaware | |
a.不知道的,未意识到的 | |
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62 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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63 heed | |
v.注意,留意;n.注意,留心 | |
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64 allurement | |
n.诱惑物 | |
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65 hamper | |
vt.妨碍,束缚,限制;n.(有盖的)大篮子 | |
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66 fully | |
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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67 prospects | |
n.希望,前途(恒为复数) | |
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68 invincible | |
adj.不可征服的,难以制服的 | |
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69 wrench | |
v.猛拧;挣脱;使扭伤;n.扳手;痛苦,难受 | |
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70 erect | |
n./v.树立,建立,使竖立;adj.直立的,垂直的 | |
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71 manly | |
adj.有男子气概的;adv.男子般地,果断地 | |
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72 deplore | |
vt.哀叹,对...深感遗憾 | |
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73 temperament | |
n.气质,性格,性情 | |
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74 overthrow | |
v.推翻,打倒,颠覆;n.推翻,瓦解,颠覆 | |
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75 overtures | |
n.主动的表示,提议;(向某人做出的)友好表示、姿态或提议( overture的名词复数 );(歌剧、芭蕾舞、音乐剧等的)序曲,前奏曲 | |
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76 motive | |
n.动机,目的;adv.发动的,运动的 | |
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77 acquiesced | |
v.默认,默许( acquiesce的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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78 unreasonableness | |
无理性; 横逆 | |
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79 smote | |
v.猛打,重击,打击( smite的过去式 ) | |
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80 imperative | |
n.命令,需要;规则;祈使语气;adj.强制的;紧急的 | |
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81 destined | |
adj.命中注定的;(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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82 allusion | |
n.暗示,间接提示 | |
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83 retraced | |
v.折回( retrace的过去式和过去分词 );回忆;回顾;追溯 | |
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84 throbbing | |
a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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85 precipice | |
n.悬崖,危急的处境 | |
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86 serene | |
adj. 安详的,宁静的,平静的 | |
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87 yearning | |
a.渴望的;向往的;怀念的 | |
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88 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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89 dreaded | |
adj.令人畏惧的;害怕的v.害怕,恐惧,担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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90 maelstrom | |
n.大乱动;大漩涡 | |
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91 faltered | |
(嗓音)颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 ); 支吾其词; 蹒跚; 摇晃 | |
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92 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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93 abrupt | |
adj.突然的,意外的;唐突的,鲁莽的 | |
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94 abruptly | |
adv.突然地,出其不意地 | |
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95 passionately | |
ad.热烈地,激烈地 | |
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96 alluring | |
adj.吸引人的,迷人的 | |
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97 outspoken | |
adj.直言无讳的,坦率的,坦白无隐的 | |
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98 premature | |
adj.比预期时间早的;不成熟的,仓促的 | |
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99 withhold | |
v.拒绝,不给;使停止,阻挡 | |
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100 nay | |
adv.不;n.反对票,投反对票者 | |
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101 tangible | |
adj.有形的,可触摸的,确凿的,实际的 | |
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102 innocence | |
n.无罪;天真;无害 | |
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103 fascination | |
n.令人着迷的事物,魅力,迷恋 | |
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104 emboldening | |
v.鼓励,使有胆量( embolden的现在分词 ) | |
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105 wilfully | |
adv.任性固执地;蓄意地 | |
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106 exultant | |
adj.欢腾的,狂欢的,大喜的 | |
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107 fend | |
v.照料(自己),(自己)谋生,挡开,避开 | |
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108 solitary | |
adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
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109 mighty | |
adj.强有力的;巨大的 | |
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110 owls | |
n.猫头鹰( owl的名词复数 ) | |
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111 screeched | |
v.发出尖叫声( screech的过去式和过去分词 );发出粗而刺耳的声音;高叫 | |
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112 lair | |
n.野兽的巢穴;躲藏处 | |
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113 avenger | |
n. 复仇者 | |
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114 solace | |
n.安慰;v.使快乐;vt.安慰(物),缓和 | |
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115 boon | |
n.恩赐,恩物,恩惠 | |
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