Prologue

       No one starts a war—or rather, no one in his sense ought to do so—without first being clear in his mind whathe intends to achieve by that war and how he intends to conduct it.

—CARL VON CLAUSEWITZ, Vom KriegeIn my first memory, I am three years old and I am trying to kill my sister. Sometimes the recollection is soclear I can remember the itch¹ of the pillowcase under my hand, the sharp point of her nose pressing into mypalm. She didn’t stand a chance against me, of course, but it still didn’t work. My father walked by, tuckingin the house for the night, and saved her. He led me back to my own bed. “That,” he told me, “neverhappened.”

As we got older, I didn’t seem to exist, except in relation to her. I would watch her sleep across the roomfrom me, one long shadow linking our beds, and I would count the ways. Poison², sprinkled³ on her cereal⁴. Awicked undertow off the beach. Lightning striking⁵.

In the end, though, I did not kill my sister. She did it all on her own.

Or at least this is what I tell myself.

1 itch   

n.痒，渴望，疥癣；vi.发痒，渴望

参考例句：

• Shylock has an itch for money.夏洛克渴望发财。
• He had an itch on his back.他背部发痒。

2 poison   

n.毒药；毒害；vt./vi.毒害；投毒

参考例句：

• The bottle is labelled "Poison".瓶上标明“有毒”。
• Don't allow evil thoughts to poison young people's minds.不允许邪念毒害青年。

3 sprinkled   

vt.撒（某物）于（某物之表面），洒，喷撒

参考例句：

• She sprinkled sugar over the strawberries. 她在草莓上撒了点糖。
• The priest sprinkled the baby with holy water. 牧师往那孩子身上洒圣水。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 cereal   

n.谷类，五谷，禾谷

参考例句：

• I have hot cereal every day for breakfast.我每天早餐吃热麦片粥。
• Soybeans are handled differently from cereal grains.大豆的加工处理与谷类的加工处理不同。

5 striking   

adj.显著的，惹人注目的，容貌出众的

参考例句：

• There is a striking difference between Jane and Mary.简和玛丽之间有显著的差异。
• What is immediately striking is how resourceful the children are.最令人注目的是孩子们的机智聪明。