Sara

       IT IS JUDGE DESALVO’S IDEA to take a field trip of sorts, so that he can talk to Kate. When we all reach thehospital, she is sitting up in bed, absently staring at the TV set that Jesse flicks¹ through with the remote. Sheis thin, her skin cast yellow, but she’s conscious. “The tin man,” Jesse says, “or the scarecrow?”

“Scarecrow would get the stuffing knocked out of him,” Kate says. “Chynna from the WWF, or the CrocodileHunter?”

Jesse snorts. “The Croc dude. Everyone knows the WWF is fake.” He glances at her. “Gandhi or MartinLuther King, Jr.?”

“They wouldn’t sign the waiver.”

“We’re talking Celebrity² Boxing on Fox, babe,” Jesse says. “What makes you think they bother with awaiver?”

Kate grins. “One of them would sit down in the ring, and the other wouldn’t put his mouthguard in.” This isthe moment I walk inside. “Hey, Mom,” she asks, “who’d win on Hypothetical Celebrity Boxing—Marcia orJan Brady?”

She notices then that I am not alone. As the whole crowd dribbles³ into the room, her eyes widen, and shepulls the covers up higher. She looks right at Anna, but her sister refuses to meet her eye. “What’s going on?”

The judge steps forward, takes my arm. “I know you want to talk to her, Sara, but I need to talk to her.” Hewalks forward, extending his hand. “Hi, Kate. I’m Judge DeSalvo. I was wondering if I could maybe speak toyou for a few minutes? Alone,” he adds, and one by one, everyone else leaves the room.

I am the last to go. I watch Kate lean back against the pillows, suddenly exhausted⁴ again. “I had a feelingyou’d come,” she tells the judge.

“Why?”

“Because,” Kate says, “it always comes back to me.”

About five years ago a new family bought the house across the street and knocked it down, wanting torebuild something different. A single bulldozer and a half-dozen waste bins⁵ were all it took; in less than amorning this structure, which we’d seen every time we walked outside, was reduced to a pile of rubble⁶.

You’d think a house would last forever, but the truth is a strong wind or a wrecking⁷ ball can devastate⁸ it. Thefamily inside is not so different.

Nowadays I can hardly remember what that old house looked like. I walk out the front door and never recallthe stretch of months that the gaping⁹ lot stood out, conspicuous¹⁰ in its absence, like a lost tooth. It took sometime, you know, but the new owners? They did rebuild.

When Judge DeSalvo comes outside, grim and troubled, Campbell, Brian, and I get to our feet. “Tomorrow,”

he says. “Closing’s at nine A.M.” With a nod to Vern to follow, he walks down the hallway.

“Come on,” Julia tells Campbell. “You’re at the mercy of my chaperonage.”

“That’s not a real word.” But instead of following her, he walks toward me. “Sara,” he says simply, “I’msorry.” He gives me one more gift: “You’ll take Anna home?”

The minute they leave, Anna turns to me. “I really need to see Kate.”

I slide an arm around her. “Of course you can.”

We go inside, just our family, and Anna sits down on the edge of Kate’s bed. “Hey,” Kate murmurs¹¹, her eyesopening.

Anna shakes her head; it takes a moment for her to find the right words. “I tried,” she says finally, her voicecatching like cotton on thorns, as Kate squeezes her hand.

Jesse sits down on the other side. The three of them in one spot; it makes me think of the Christmas cardphoto we would take each October, balancing them in height order in the wings of a maple¹² tree or on a stonewall, one frozen moment for everyone to remember them by.

“Alf or Mr. Ed,” Jesse says.

The corners of Kate’s mouth turn up. “Horse. Eighth round.”

“You’re on.”

Finally Brian leans down, kisses Kate’s forehead. “Baby, you get a good night’s sleep.” As Anna and Jesseslip into the hall, he kisses me good-bye, too. “Call me,” he whispers.

And then, when they are all gone, I sit down beside my daughter. Her arms are so thin I can see the bonesshifting as she moves; her eyes seem older than mine.

“I guess you have questions,” Kate says.

“Maybe later,” I answer, surprising myself. I climb up onto the bed and fold her into my embrace.

I realize then that we never have children, we receive them. And sometimes it’s not for quite as long as wewould have expected or hoped. But it is still far better than never having had those children at all. “Kate,” Iconfess, “I’m so sorry.”

She pushes back from me, until she can look me in the eye. “Don’t be,” she says fiercely. “Because I’m not.”

She tries to smile, tries so damn hard. “It was a good one, Mom, wasn’t it?”

I bite my lip, feel the heaviness of tears. “It was the best,” I answer.

1 flicks   

（尤指用手指或手快速地）轻击( flick的第三人称单数 )； （用…）轻挥； （快速地）按开关； 向…笑了一下（或瞥了一眼等）

参考例句：

• 'I shall see it on the flicks, I suppose.' “电影上总归看得见。” 来自英汉文学
• Last night to the flicks. 昨晚看了场电影。 来自英汉文学

2 celebrity   

n.名人，名流；著名，名声，名望

参考例句：

• Tom found himself something of a celebrity. 汤姆意识到自己已小有名气了。
• He haunted famous men, hoping to get celebrity for himself. 他常和名人在一起, 希望借此使自己获得名气。

3 dribbles   

n.涓滴( dribble的名词复数 )；细滴；少量（液体）v.流口水( dribble的第三人称单数 )；（使液体）滴下或作细流；运球，带球

参考例句：

• That faucet dribbles badly. 那个水龙头漏水严重。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Question: How do you make the dribbles like you always do them? 就像你经常做的，你怎么盘带？（估计也是个踢球的）。 来自互联网

4 exhausted   

adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的

参考例句：

• It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长，到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
• Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。

5 bins   

n.大储藏箱( bin的名词复数 )；宽口箱（如面包箱，垃圾箱等）v.扔掉，丢弃( bin的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• Garbage from all sources was deposited in bins on trolleys. 来自各方的垃圾是装在手推车上的垃圾箱里的。 来自辞典例句
• Would you be pleased at the prospect of its being on sale in dump bins? 对于它将被陈列在倾销箱中抛售这件事，你能欣然接受吗？ 来自辞典例句

6 rubble   

n.（一堆）碎石，瓦砾

参考例句：

• After the earthquake,it took months to clean up the rubble.地震后，花了数月才清理完瓦砾。
• After the war many cities were full of rubble.战后许多城市到处可见颓垣残壁。

7 wrecking   

破坏

参考例句：

• He teed off on his son for wrecking the car. 他严厉训斥他儿子毁坏了汽车。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Instead of wrecking the valley, the waters are put to use making electricity. 现在河水不但不在流域内肆疟，反而被人们用来生产电力。 来自辞典例句

8 devastate   

v.使荒芜，破坏，压倒

参考例句：

• A few days before,a fire had devastated large parts of Windsor Castle.几天前，温莎城堡的大部分被一场大火烧毁。
• Earthquakes can also cause tsunamis,which devastate coastal regions.地震还引发海啸，它直接破坏海岸地区。

9 gaping   

adj.口的；张口的；敞口的；多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 )；张开，张大

参考例句：

• Ahead of them was a gaping abyss. 他们前面是一个巨大的深渊。
• The antelope could not escape the crocodile's gaping jaws. 那只羚羊无法从鱷鱼张开的大口中逃脱。 来自《简明英汉词典》

10 conspicuous   

adj.明眼的，惹人注目的；炫耀的，摆阔气的

参考例句：

• It is conspicuous that smoking is harmful to health.很明显，抽烟对健康有害。
• Its colouring makes it highly conspicuous.它的色彩使它非常惹人注目。

11 murmurs   

n.低沉、连续而不清的声音( murmur的名词复数 )；低语声；怨言；嘀咕

参考例句：

• They spoke in low murmurs. 他们低声说着话。 来自辞典例句
• They are more superficial, more distinctly heard than murmurs. 它们听起来比心脏杂音更为浅表而清楚。 来自辞典例句

12 maple   

n.槭树，枫树，槭木

参考例句：

• Maple sugar is made from the sap of maple trees.枫糖是由枫树的树液制成的。
• The maple leaves are tinge with autumn red.枫叶染上了秋天的红色。