Poor little calves2! Slaves to the greed of man! Bereft3 of the mothers with which Nature has provided them, and compelled to exist on milk from the separator, often thick, sour, and icy cold.
Besides the milking I did, before I went to school every morning, for which I had to prepare myself and the younger children, and to which we had to walk two miles. I had to feed thirty calves and wash the breakfast dishes. On returning from school in the afternoon, often in a state of exhaustion4 from walking in the blazing sun, I had the same duties over again, and in addition boots to clean and home lessons to prepare for the morrow. I had to relinquish5 my piano practice for want of time.
Ah, those short, short nights of rest and long, long days of toil7! It seems to me that dairying means slavery in the hands of poor people who cannot afford hired labour. I am not writing of dairy-farming, the genteel and artistic8 profession as eulogized in leading articles of agricultural newspapers and as taught in agricultural colleges. I am depicting9 practical dairying as I have lived it, and seen it lived, by dozens of families around me.
It takes a great deal of work to produce even one pound of butter fit for market. At the time I mention it was 3d. and 4d. per lb., so it was much work and small pay. It was slaving and delving11 from morning till night — Sundays, week-days, and holidays, all alike were work-days to us.
Hard graft12 is a great leveller. Household drudgery13, woodcutting, milking, and gardening soon roughen the hands and dim the outside polish. When the body is wearied with much toil the desire to cultivate the mind, or the cultivation14 it has already received, is gradually wiped out. Thus it was with my parents. They had dropped from swelldom to peasantism. They were among and of the peasantry. None of their former acquaintances came within their circle now, for the iron ungodly hand of class distinction has settled surely down upon Australian society — Australia’s democracy is only a tradition of the past.
I say naught15 against the lower life. The peasantry are the bulwarks16 of every nation. The life of a peasant is, to a peasant who is a peasant with a peasant’s soul, when times are good and when seasons smile, a grand life. It is honest, clean, and wholesome17. But the life of a peasant to me is purgatory18. Those around me worked from morning till night and then enjoyed their well-earned sleep. They had but two states of existence — work and sleep.
There was a third part in me which cried out to be fed. I longed for the arts. Music was a passion with me. I borrowed every book in the neighbourhood and stole hours from rest to read them. This told upon me and made my physical burdens harder for me than for other children of my years around me. That third was the strongest part of me. In it I lived a dream-life with writers, artists, and musicians. Hope, sweet, cruel, delusive19 Hope, whispered in my ear that life was long with much by and by, and in that by and by my dream-life would be real. So on I went with that gleaming lake in the distance beckoning20 me to come and sail on its silver waters, and Inexperience, conceited21, blind Inexperience, failing to show the impassable pit between it and me.
To return to the dairying.
Old and young alike we earned our scant22 livelihood23 by the heavy sweat of our brows. Still, we did gain an honest living. We were not ashamed to look day in the face, and fought our way against all odds24 with the stubborn independence of our British ancestors. But when 1894 went out without rain, and ‘95, hot, dry, pitiless ‘95, succeeded it, there came a time when it was impossible to make a living.
The scorching25 furnace-breath winds shrivelled every blade of grass, dust and the moan of starving stock filled the air, vegetables became a thing of the past. The calves I had reared died one by one, and the cows followed in their footsteps.
I had left school then, and my mother and father and I spent the days in lifting our cows. When our strength proved inadequate26, the help of neighbours had to be called in, and father would give his services in return. Only a few of our more well-to-do neighbours had been able to send their stock away, or had any better place to which to transfer them. The majority of them were in as tight a plight27 as ourselves. This cow-lifting became quite a trade, the whole day being spent in it and in discussing the bad prospect28 ahead if the drought continued.
Many an extra line of care furrowed29 the brows of the disheartened bushmen then. Not only was their living taken from them by the drought, but there is nothing more heartrending than to have poor beasts, especially dairy cows, so familiar, valued, and loved, pleading for food day after day in their piteous dumb way when one has it not to give.
We shore ourselves of all but the bare necessaries of life, but even they for a family of ten are considerable, and it was a mighty30 tussle31 to get both ends within cover of meeting. We felt the full force of the heavy hand of poverty — the most stinging kind of poverty too, that which still holds up its head and keeps an outside appearance. Far more grinding is this than the poverty inherited from generations which is not ashamed of itself, and has not as an accompaniment the wounded pride and humiliation32 which attacked us.
Some there are who argue that poverty does not mean unhappiness. Let those try what it is to be destitute33 of even one companionable friend, what it means to be forced to exist in an alien sphere of society, what it is like to be unable to afford a stamp to write to a friend; let them long as passionately34 as I have longed for reading and music, and be unable to procure35 it because of poverty; let poverty force them into doing work against which every fibre of their being revolts, as it has forced me, and then see if their lives will be happy.
My school life had been dull and uneventful. The one incident of any note had been the day that the teacher, better known as old Harris, “stood up” to the inspector36. The latter was a precise, collar-and-cuffs sort of little man. He gave one the impression of having all his ideas on the subjects he thought worthy37 of attention carefully culled38 and packed in his brain-pan, and neatly39 labelled, so that he might without fluster40 pounce41 upon any of them at a moment’s warning. He was gentlemanly and respectable, and discharged his duties punctiliously42 in a manner reflecting credit on himself and his position, but, comparing the mind of a philanthropist to the Murrumbidgee in breadth, his, in comparison, might be likened to the flow of a bucket of water in a dray-rut.
On the day in question — a precious hot one it was — he had finished examining us in most subjects, and was looking at our copy-books. He looked up from them, ahemed! and fastidiously straightened his waistcoat.
“Mr Harris!
“Yes, sir.”
“Comparisons are odious43, but, unfortunately, I am forced to draw one now.”
“Yes, sir.”
“This writing is much inferior to that of town scholars. It is very shaky and irregular. Also, I notice that the children seem stupid and dull. I don’t like putting it so plainly, but, in fact, ah, they seem to be possessed44 with the proverbial stupidity of country people. How do you account for this?”
Poor old Harris! In spite of his drunken habits and inability to properly discharge his duties, he had a warm heart and much fellowshiply humanity in him. He understood and loved his pupils, and would not have aspersions cast upon them. Besides, the nip he had taken to brace45 himself to meet the inspector had been two or three, and they robbed him of the discretion46 which otherwise might have kept him silent.
“Si-r-r-r, I can and will account for it. Look you at every one of those children. Every one, right down to this little tot,” indicating a little girl of five, “has to milk and work hard before and after school, besides walk on an average two miles to and from school in this infernal heat. Most of the elder boys and girls milk on an average fourteen cows morning and evening. You try that treatment for a week or two, my fine gentleman, and then see if your fist doesn’t ache and shake so that you can’t write at all. See if you won’t look a trifle dozy47. Stupidity of country people be hanged! If you had to work from morning till night in the heat and dust, and get precious little for it too, I bet you wouldn’t have much time to scrape your finger-nails, read science notes, and look smart.” Here he took off his coat and shaped up to his superior.
The inspector drew back in consternation48.
“Mr Harris, you forget yourself!”
At this juncture49 they went outside together. What happened there we never knew. That is all we heard of the matter except the numerous garbled50 accounts which were carried home that afternoon.
A DROUGHT IDYLL
“Sybylla, what are you doing? Where is your mother?”
“I’m ironing. Mother’s down at the fowl-house seeing after some chickens. What do you want?”
It was my father who addressed me. Time, 2 o’clock p.m. Thermometer hung in the shade of the veranda51 registering 105 1/2 degrees.
“I see Blackshaw coming across the flat. Call your mother. You bring the leg-ropes — I’ve got the dog-leg. Come at once; we’ll give the cows another lift. Poor devils — might as well knock ’em on the head at once, but there might be rain next moon. This drought can’t last for ever.”
I called mother, got the leg-ropes, and set off, pulling my sun-bonnet closely over my face to protect my eyes from the dust which was driving from the west in blinding clouds. The dog-leg to which father had referred was three poles about eight or ten feet long, strapped52 together so they could be stood up. It was an arrangement father had devised to facilitate our labour in lifting the cows. A fourth and longer pole was placed across the fork formed by the three, and to one end of this were tied a couple of leg-ropes, after being placed round the beast, one beneath the flank and one around the girth. On the other end of this pole we would put our weight while one man would lift with the tail and another with the horns. New-chum cows would sulk, and we would have great work with them; but those used to the performance would help themselves, and up they’d go as nice as a daisy. The only art needed was to draw the pole back quickly before the cows could move, or the leg-ropes would pull them over again.
On this afternoon we had six cows to lift. We struggled manfully, and got five on their feet, and then proceeded to where the last one was lying, back downwards53, on a shadeless stony54 spot on the side of a hill. The men slewed55 her round by the tail, while mother and I fixed56 the dog-leg and adjusted the ropes. We got the cow up, but the poor beast was so weak and knocked about that she immediately fell down again. We resolved to let her have a few minutes’ spell before making another attempt at lifting. There was not a blade of grass to be seen, and the ground was too dusty to sit on. We were too overdone57 to make more than one-worded utterances58, so waited silently in the blazing sun, closing our eyes against the dust.
Weariness! Weariness!
A few light wind-smitten clouds made wan6 streaks59 across the white sky, haggard with the fierce relentless60 glare of the afternoon sun. Weariness was written across my mother’s delicate careworn61 features, and found expression in my father’s knitted brows and dusty face. Blackshaw was weary, and said so, as he wiped the dust, made mud with perspiration62, off his cheeks. I was weary — my limbs ached with the heat and work. The poor beast stretched at our feet was weary. All nature was weary, and seemed to sing a dirge63 to that effect in the furnace-breath wind which roared among the trees on the low ranges at our back and smote64 the parched65 and thirsty ground. All were weary, all but the sun. He seemed to glory in his power, relentless and untiring, as he swung boldly in the sky, triumphantly66 leering down upon his helpless victims.
Weariness! Weariness!
This was life — my life — my career, my brilliant career! I was fifteen — fifteen! A few fleeting67 hours and I would be old as those around me. I looked at them as they stood there, weary, and turning down the other side of the hill of life. When young, no doubt they had hoped for, and dreamed of, better things — had even known them. But here they were. This had been their life; this was their career. It was, and in all probability would be, mine too. My life — my career — my brilliant career!
Weariness! Weariness!
The summer sun danced on. Summer is fiendish, and life is a curse, I said in my heart. What a great dull hard rock the world was! On it were a few barren narrow ledges68, and on these, by exerting ourselves so that the force wears off our finger-nails, it allows us to hang for a year or two, and then hurls69 us off into outer darkness and oblivion, perhaps to endure worse torture than this.
The poor beast moaned. The lifting had strained her, and there were patches of hide worn off her the size of breakfast-plates, sore and most harrowing to look upon.
It takes great suffering to wring70 a moan from the patience of a cow. I turned my head away, and with the impatience71 and one-sided reasoning common to fifteen, asked God what He meant by this. It is well enough to heap suffering on human beings, seeing it is supposed to be merely a probation72 for a better world, but animals — poor, innocent animals — why are they tortured so?
“Come now, we’ll lift her once more,” said my father. At it we went again; it is surprising what weight there is in the poorest cow. With great struggling we got her to her feet once more, and were careful this time to hold her till she got steady on her legs. Father and mother at the tail and Blackshaw and I at the horns, we marched her home and gave her a bran mash73. Then we turned to our work in the house while the men sat and smoked and spat74 on the veranda, discussing the drought for an hour, at the end of which time they went to help someone else with their stock. I made up the fire and we continued our ironing, which had been interrupted some hours before. It was hot unpleasant work on such a day. We were forced to keep the doors and windows closed on account of the wind and dust. We were hot and tired, and our feet ached so that we could scarcely stand on them.
Weariness! Weariness!
Summer is fiendish and life is a curse, I said in my heart.
Day after day the drought continued. Now and again there would be a few days of the raging wind before mentioned, which carried the dry grass off the paddocks and piled it against the fences, darkened the air with dust, and seemed to promise rain, but ever it dispersed75 whence it came, taking with it the few clouds it had gathered up; and for weeks and weeks at a stretch, from horizon to horizon, was never a speck76 to mar10 the cruel dazzling brilliance77 of the metal sky.
Weariness! Weariness!
I said the one thing many times but, ah, it was a weary thing which took much repetition that familiarity might wear away a little of its bitterness!
点击收听单词发音
1 afflicted | |
使受痛苦,折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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2 calves | |
n.(calf的复数)笨拙的男子,腓;腿肚子( calf的名词复数 );牛犊;腓;小腿肚v.生小牛( calve的第三人称单数 );(冰川)崩解;生(小牛等),产(犊);使(冰川)崩解 | |
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3 bereft | |
adj.被剥夺的 | |
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4 exhaustion | |
n.耗尽枯竭,疲惫,筋疲力尽,竭尽,详尽无遗的论述 | |
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5 relinquish | |
v.放弃,撤回,让与,放手 | |
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6 wan | |
(wide area network)广域网 | |
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7 toil | |
vi.辛劳工作,艰难地行动;n.苦工,难事 | |
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8 artistic | |
adj.艺术(家)的,美术(家)的;善于艺术创作的 | |
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9 depicting | |
描绘,描画( depict的现在分词 ); 描述 | |
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10 mar | |
vt.破坏,毁坏,弄糟 | |
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11 delving | |
v.深入探究,钻研( delve的现在分词 ) | |
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12 graft | |
n.移植,嫁接,艰苦工作,贪污;v.移植,嫁接 | |
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13 drudgery | |
n.苦工,重活,单调乏味的工作 | |
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14 cultivation | |
n.耕作,培养,栽培(法),养成 | |
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15 naught | |
n.无,零 [=nought] | |
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16 bulwarks | |
n.堡垒( bulwark的名词复数 );保障;支柱;舷墙 | |
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17 wholesome | |
adj.适合;卫生的;有益健康的;显示身心健康的 | |
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18 purgatory | |
n.炼狱;苦难;adj.净化的,清洗的 | |
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19 delusive | |
adj.欺骗的,妄想的 | |
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20 beckoning | |
adj.引诱人的,令人心动的v.(用头或手的动作)示意,召唤( beckon的现在分词 ) | |
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21 conceited | |
adj.自负的,骄傲自满的 | |
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22 scant | |
adj.不充分的,不足的;v.减缩,限制,忽略 | |
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23 livelihood | |
n.生计,谋生之道 | |
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24 odds | |
n.让步,机率,可能性,比率;胜败优劣之别 | |
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25 scorching | |
adj. 灼热的 | |
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26 inadequate | |
adj.(for,to)不充足的,不适当的 | |
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27 plight | |
n.困境,境况,誓约,艰难;vt.宣誓,保证,约定 | |
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28 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
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29 furrowed | |
v.犁田,开沟( furrow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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30 mighty | |
adj.强有力的;巨大的 | |
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31 tussle | |
n.&v.扭打,搏斗,争辩 | |
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32 humiliation | |
n.羞辱 | |
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33 destitute | |
adj.缺乏的;穷困的 | |
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34 passionately | |
ad.热烈地,激烈地 | |
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35 procure | |
vt.获得,取得,促成;vi.拉皮条 | |
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36 inspector | |
n.检查员,监察员,视察员 | |
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37 worthy | |
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的 | |
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38 culled | |
v.挑选,剔除( cull的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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39 neatly | |
adv.整洁地,干净地,灵巧地,熟练地 | |
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40 fluster | |
adj.慌乱,狼狈,混乱,激动 | |
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41 pounce | |
n.猛扑;v.猛扑,突然袭击,欣然同意 | |
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42 punctiliously | |
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43 odious | |
adj.可憎的,讨厌的 | |
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44 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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45 brace | |
n. 支柱,曲柄,大括号; v. 绷紧,顶住,(为困难或坏事)做准备 | |
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46 discretion | |
n.谨慎;随意处理 | |
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47 dozy | |
adj.困倦的;愚笨的 | |
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48 consternation | |
n.大为吃惊,惊骇 | |
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49 juncture | |
n.时刻,关键时刻,紧要关头 | |
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50 garbled | |
adj.(指信息)混乱的,引起误解的v.对(事实)歪曲,对(文章等)断章取义,窜改( garble的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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51 veranda | |
n.走廊;阳台 | |
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52 strapped | |
adj.用皮带捆住的,用皮带装饰的;身无分文的;缺钱;手头紧v.用皮带捆扎(strap的过去式和过去分词);用皮带抽打;包扎;给…打绷带 | |
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53 downwards | |
adj./adv.向下的(地),下行的(地) | |
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54 stony | |
adj.石头的,多石头的,冷酷的,无情的 | |
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55 slewed | |
adj.喝醉的v.杀死,宰杀,杀戮( slay的过去式 )( slew的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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56 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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57 overdone | |
v.做得过分( overdo的过去分词 );太夸张;把…煮得太久;(工作等)过度 | |
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58 utterances | |
n.发声( utterance的名词复数 );说话方式;语调;言论 | |
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59 streaks | |
n.(与周围有所不同的)条纹( streak的名词复数 );(通常指不好的)特征(倾向);(不断经历成功或失败的)一段时期v.快速移动( streak的第三人称单数 );使布满条纹 | |
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60 relentless | |
adj.残酷的,不留情的,无怜悯心的 | |
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61 careworn | |
adj.疲倦的,饱经忧患的 | |
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62 perspiration | |
n.汗水;出汗 | |
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63 dirge | |
n.哀乐,挽歌,庄重悲哀的乐曲 | |
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64 smote | |
v.猛打,重击,打击( smite的过去式 ) | |
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65 parched | |
adj.焦干的;极渴的;v.(使)焦干 | |
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66 triumphantly | |
ad.得意洋洋地;得胜地;成功地 | |
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67 fleeting | |
adj.短暂的,飞逝的 | |
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68 ledges | |
n.(墙壁,悬崖等)突出的狭长部分( ledge的名词复数 );(平窄的)壁架;横档;(尤指)窗台 | |
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69 hurls | |
v.猛投,用力掷( hurl的第三人称单数 );大声叫骂 | |
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70 wring | |
n.扭绞;v.拧,绞出,扭 | |
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71 impatience | |
n.不耐烦,急躁 | |
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72 probation | |
n.缓刑(期),(以观后效的)察看;试用(期) | |
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73 mash | |
n.麦芽浆,糊状物,土豆泥;v.把…捣成糊状,挑逗,调情 | |
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74 spat | |
n.口角,掌击;v.发出呼噜呼噜声 | |
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75 dispersed | |
adj. 被驱散的, 被分散的, 散布的 | |
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76 speck | |
n.微粒,小污点,小斑点 | |
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77 brilliance | |
n.光辉,辉煌,壮丽,(卓越的)才华,才智 | |
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