He was charmed, enchanted8: his mind swarmed9 daily with monstrous10 projects — his heart quivered in a tight cage of nervous exultancy11 as he thought of the infinite richness of absurdity12 that lay stored for him. His ethical13 conscience was awakened14 hardly at all — he thought of these three people as monsters posturing15 for his delight. His hatred16 of cruelty, the nauseating17 horror at the idiotic18 brutality19 of youth, had not yet sufficiently20 defined itself to check his plunge21. He was swept along in the full tide of his adventure: he thought of nothing else.
Through an entire winter, and into the spring, he went to see this little family in a Boston suburb. Then he got tired of the game and the people as suddenly as he had begun, with the passionate22 boredom23, weariness, and intolerance of which youth is capable. And now that the affair was ending, he was at last ashamed of the part he had played in it and of the arrogant24 contempt with which he had regaled himself at the expense of other people. And he knew that the Simpsons had themselves at length become conscious of the meaning of his conduct, and saw that, in some way, he had made them the butt25 of a joke. And when they saw this, the family suddenly attained26 a curious quiet dignity, of which he had not believed them capable and which later he could not forget.
One night, as he was waiting in the parlour for the girl to come down, her mother entered the room, and stood looking at him quietly for a moment. Presently she spoke27:
“You have been coming here for some time now,” she said, “and we were always glad to see you. My daughter liked you when she met you — she likes you yet —” the woman said slowly, and went on with obvious difficulty and embarrassment28. “Her welfare means more to me than anything in the world — I would do anything to save her from unhappiness or misfortune.” She was silent a moment, then said bluntly, “I think I have a right to ask you a question: what are your intentions concerning her?”
He told himself that these words were ridiculous and part of the whole comic and burlesque29 quality of the family, and yet he found now that he could not laugh at them. He sat looking at the fire, uncertain of his answer, and presently he muttered:
“I have no intentions concerning her.”
“All right,” the woman said quietly. “That is all I wanted to know. . . . You are a young man,” she went on slowly after a pause, “and very clever and intelligent — but there are still a great many things you do not understand. I know now that we looked funny to you and you have amused yourself at our expense. . . . I don’t know why you thought it was such a joke, but I think you will live to see the day when you are sorry for it. It’s not good to make a joke of people who have liked you and tried to be your friends.”
“I know it’s not,” he said, and muttered: “I’m sorry for it now.”
“Still, I can’t believe,” the woman said, “that you are a boy who would wilfully30 bring sorrow and ruin to anyone who had never done you any harm. . . . The only reason I am saying this is for my daughter’s sake.”
“You don’t need to worry about that,” he said. “I’m sorry now for acting31 as I have — but you know everything I’ve done. And I’ll not come back again. But I’d like to see her and tell her that I’m sorry before I go.”
“Yes,” the woman said, “I think you ought.”
She went out and a few minutes later the girl came down, entered the room, and he said good-bye to her. He tried to make amends32 to her with fumbling33 words, but she said nothing. She stood very still as he talked, almost rigid34, her lips pressed tightly together, her hands clenched35, winking36 back the tears.
“All right,” she said finally, giving him her hand. “I’ll say good-bye to you without hard feelings. . . . Some day . . . some day,” her voice choked and she winked37 furiously —“I hope you’ll understand — oh, good-bye!” she cried, and turned away abruptly38. “I’m not mad at you any longer — and I wish you luck. . . . You know so many things, don’t you? — You’re so much smarter than we are, aren’t you? . . . And I’m sorry for you when I think of all you’ve got to learn . . . of what you’re going through before you do.”
“Good-bye,” he said.
He never saw any of them again, but he could not forget them. And as the years went on, the memory of all their folly39, falseness, and hypocrisy40 was curiously41 altered and subdued42 and the memory that grew more vivid and dominant43 was of a little family, one of millions huddled44 below the immense and timeless skies that bend above us, lost in the darkness of nameless and unnumbered lives upon the lonely wilderness45 of life that is America, and banked together against these giant antagonists46, for comfort, warmth, and love, with a courage and integrity that would not die and could not be forgotten.
点击收听单词发音
1 dwindled | |
v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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2 supplanted | |
把…排挤掉,取代( supplant的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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3 exultantly | |
adv.狂欢地,欢欣鼓舞地 | |
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4 preposterous | |
adj.荒谬的,可笑的 | |
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5 fables | |
n.寓言( fable的名词复数 );神话,传说 | |
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6 transparent | |
adj.明显的,无疑的;透明的 | |
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7 artifice | |
n.妙计,高明的手段;狡诈,诡计 | |
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8 enchanted | |
adj. 被施魔法的,陶醉的,入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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9 swarmed | |
密集( swarm的过去式和过去分词 ); 云集; 成群地移动; 蜜蜂或其他飞行昆虫成群地飞来飞去 | |
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10 monstrous | |
adj.巨大的;恐怖的;可耻的,丢脸的 | |
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11 exultancy | |
n.大喜,狂喜 | |
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12 absurdity | |
n.荒谬,愚蠢;谬论 | |
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13 ethical | |
adj.伦理的,道德的,合乎道德的 | |
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14 awakened | |
v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到 | |
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15 posturing | |
做出某种姿势( posture的现在分词 ) | |
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16 hatred | |
n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨 | |
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17 nauseating | |
adj.令人恶心的,使人厌恶的v.使恶心,作呕( nauseate的现在分词 ) | |
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18 idiotic | |
adj.白痴的 | |
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19 brutality | |
n.野蛮的行为,残忍,野蛮 | |
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20 sufficiently | |
adv.足够地,充分地 | |
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21 plunge | |
v.跳入,(使)投入,(使)陷入;猛冲 | |
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22 passionate | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的 | |
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23 boredom | |
n.厌烦,厌倦,乏味,无聊 | |
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24 arrogant | |
adj.傲慢的,自大的 | |
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25 butt | |
n.笑柄;烟蒂;枪托;臀部;v.用头撞或顶 | |
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26 attained | |
(通常经过努力)实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况) | |
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27 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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28 embarrassment | |
n.尴尬;使人为难的人(事物);障碍;窘迫 | |
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29 burlesque | |
v.嘲弄,戏仿;n.嘲弄,取笑,滑稽模仿 | |
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30 wilfully | |
adv.任性固执地;蓄意地 | |
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31 acting | |
n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的 | |
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32 amends | |
n. 赔偿 | |
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33 fumbling | |
n. 摸索,漏接 v. 摸索,摸弄,笨拙的处理 | |
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34 rigid | |
adj.严格的,死板的;刚硬的,僵硬的 | |
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35 clenched | |
v.紧握,抓紧,咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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36 winking | |
n.瞬眼,目语v.使眼色( wink的现在分词 );递眼色(表示友好或高兴等);(指光)闪烁;闪亮 | |
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37 winked | |
v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 );递眼色(表示友好或高兴等);(指光)闪烁;闪亮 | |
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38 abruptly | |
adv.突然地,出其不意地 | |
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39 folly | |
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话 | |
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40 hypocrisy | |
n.伪善,虚伪 | |
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41 curiously | |
adv.有求知欲地;好问地;奇特地 | |
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42 subdued | |
adj. 屈服的,柔和的,减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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43 dominant | |
adj.支配的,统治的;占优势的;显性的;n.主因,要素,主要的人(或物);显性基因 | |
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44 huddled | |
挤在一起(huddle的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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45 wilderness | |
n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等,荒漠 | |
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46 antagonists | |
对立[对抗] 者,对手,敌手( antagonist的名词复数 ); 对抗肌; 对抗药 | |
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