"What is your son doing going to temple?" asked the priest.
"Your son was seen in church crossing himself," said theimam.
"Your son has gone Muslim," said the pandit.
Yes, it was all forcefully brought to the attention of mybemused parents. You see, they didn't know. They didn't knowthat I was a practising Hindu, Christian3 and Muslim. Teenagersalways hide a few things from their parents, isn't that so? Allsixteen-year-olds have secrets, don't they? But fate decided4 thatmy parents and I and the three wise men, as I shall call them,should meet one day on the Goubert Salai seaside esplanadeand that my secret should be outed. It was a lovely, breezy,hot Sunday afternoon and the Bay of Bengal glittered under ablue sky. Townspeople were out for a stroll. Children screamedand laughed. Coloured balloons floated in the air. Ice creamsales were brisk. Why think of business on such a day, I ask?
Why couldn't they have just walked by with a nod and asmile? It was not to be. We were to meet not just one wiseman but all three, and not one after another but at the sametime, and each would decide upon seeing us that right thenwas the golden occasion to meet that Pondicherry notable, thezoo director, he of the model devout5 son. When I saw thefirst, I smiled; by the time I had laid eyes on the third, mysmile had frozen into a mask of horror. When it was clear thatall three were converging6 on us, my heart jumped beforesinking very low.
The wise men seemed annoyed when they realized that allthree of them were approaching the same people. Each musthave assumed that the others were there for some businessother than pastoral and had rudely chosen that moment todeal with it. Glances of displeasure were exchanged.
My parents looked puzzled to have their way gently blockedby three broadly smiling religious strangers. I should explainthat my family was anything but orthodox. Father saw himselfas part of the New India – rich, modern and as secular7 as icecream. He didn't have a religious bone in his body. He was abusinessman, pronounced busynessman in his case, ahardworking, earthbound professional, more concerned withinbreeding among the lions than any over-arching moral orexistential scheme. It's true that he had all new animals blessedby a priest and there were two small shrines8 at the zoo, oneto Lord Ganesha and one to Hanuman, gods likely to please azoo director, what with the first having the head of an elephantand the second being a monkey, but Father's calculation wasthat this was good for business, not good for his soul, a matterof public relations rather than personal salvation9. Spiritual worrywas alien to him; it was financial worry that rocked his being.
"One epidemic10 in the collection," he used to say, "and we'll endup in a road crew breaking up stones." Mother was mum,bored and neutral on the subject. A Hindu upbringing and aBaptist education had precisely11 cancelled each other out as faras religion was concerned and had left her serenely12 impious. Isuspect she suspected that I had a different take on thematter, but she never said anything when as a child Idevoured the comic books of the Ramayana and theMahabharata and an illustrated13 children's Bible and otherstories of the gods. She herself was a big reader. She waspleased to see me with my nose buried in a book, any book,so long as it wasn't naughty. As for Ravi, if Lord Krishna hadheld a cricket bat rather than a flute14, if Christ had appearedmore plainly to him as an umpire, if the prophet Muhammad,peace be upon him, had shown some notions of bowling15, hemight have lifted a religious eyelid16, but they didn't, and so heslumbered.
After the "Helios" and the "Good days", there was anawkward silence. The priest broke it when he said, with pridein his voice, "Piscine is a good Christian boy. I hope to seehim join our choir17 soon."My parents, the pandit and the imam looked surprised.
"You must be mistaken. He's a good Muslim boy. He comeswithout fail to Friday prayer, and his knowledge of the HolyQur'an is coming along nicely." So said the imam.
My parents, the priest and the pandit looked incredulous.
The pandit spoke18. "You're both wrong. He's a good Hinduboy. I see him all the time at the temple coming for darshanand performing puja."My parents, the imam and the priest looked astounded19.
"There is no mistake," said the priest. "I know this boy. Heis Piscine Molitor Patel and he's a Christian.""I know him too, and I tell you he's a Muslim," asserted theimam.
"Nonsense!" cried the pandit. "Piscine was born a Hindu,lives a Hindu and will die a Hindu!"The three wise men stared at each other, breathless anddisbelieving.
Lord, avert20 their eyes from me, I whispered in my soul.
All eyes fell upon me.
"Piscine, can this be true?" asked the imam earnestly.
"Hindus and Christians21 are idolaters. They have many gods.""And Muslims have many wives," responded the pandit.
The priest looked askance at both of them. "Piscine," henearly whispered, "there is salvation only in Jesus.""Balderdash! Christians know nothing about religion," said thepandit.
"They strayed long ago from God's path," said the imam.
"Where's God in your religion?" snapped the priest. "Youdon't have a single miracle to show for it. What kind ofreligion is that, without miracles?""It isn't a circus with dead people jumping out of tombs allthe time, that's what! We Muslims stick to the essential miracleof existence. Birds flying, rain falling, crops growing – these aremiracles enough for us.""Feathers and rain are all very nice, but we like to knowthat God is truly with us.""Is that so? Well, a whole lot of good it did God to be withyou – you tried to kill him! You banged him to a cross withgreat big nails. Is that a civilized22 way to treat a prophet? Theprophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – brought us theword of God without any undignified nonsense and died at aripe old age.""The word of God? To that illiterate23 merchant of yours inthe middle of the desert? Those were drooling epileptic fitsbrought on by the swaying of his camel, not divine revelation.
That, or the sun frying his brains!""If the Prophet – p.b.u.h. – were alive, he would havechoice words for you," replied the imam, with narrowed eyes.
"Well, he's not! Christ is alive, while your old ‘p.b.u.h.' isdead, dead, dead!"The pandit interrupted them quietly. In Tamil he said, "Thereal question is, why is Piscine dallying24 with these foreignreligions?"The eyes of the priest and the imam properly popped out oftheir heads. They were both native Tamils.
"God is universal," spluttered the priest.
The imam nodded strong approval. "There is only one God.""And with their one god Muslims are always causing troublesand provoking riots. The proof of how bad Islam is, is howuncivilized Muslims are," pronounced the pandit.
"Says the slave-driver of the caste system," huffed the imam.
"Hindus enslave people and worship dressed-up dolls.""They are golden calf25 lovers. They kneel before cows," thepriest chimed in.
"While Christians kneel before a white man! They are theflunkies of a foreign god. They are the nightmare of allnon-white people.""And they eat pigs and are cannibals," added the imam forgood measure.
"What it comes down to," the priest put out with cool rage,"is whether Piscine wants real religion – or myths from acartoon strip.""God – or idols," intoned the imam gravely.
"Our gods – or colonial gods," hissed26 the pandit.
It was hard to tell whose face was more inflamed27. It lookedas if they might come to blows.
Father raised his hands. "Gentlemen, gentlemen, please!" heinterjected. "I would like to remind you there is freedom ofpractice in this country."Three apoplectic28 faces turned to him.
"Yes! Practice – :singular!" the wise men screamed inunison. Three index fingers, like punctuation29 marks, jumped toattention in the air to emphasize their point.
They were not pleased at the unintended choral effect or thespontaneous unity2 of their gestures. Their fingers came downquickly, and they sighed and groaned30 each on his own. Fatherand Mother stared on, at a loss for words.
The pandit spoke first. "Mr. Patel, Piscine's piety31 is admirable.
In these troubled times it's good to see a boy so keen onGod. We all agree on that." The imam and the priest nodded.
"But he can't be a Hindu, a Christian and a Muslim. It'simpossible. He must choose.""I don't think it's a crime, but I suppose you're right,"Father replied.
The three murmured agreement and looked heavenward, asdid Father, whence they felt the decision must come. Motherlooked at me.
A silence fell heavily on my shoulders.
"Hmmm, Piscine?" Mother nudged me. "How do you feelabout the question?""Bapu Gandhi said, ‘All religions are true.' I just want to loveGod," I blurted32 out, and looked down, red in the face.
My embarrassment33 was contagious34. No one said anything. Ithappened that we were not far from the statue of Gandhi onthe esplanade. Stick in hand, an impish smile on his lips, atwinkle in his eyes, the Mahatma walked. I fancy that he heardour conversation, but that he paid even greater attention to myheart. Father cleared his throat and said in a half-voice, "Isuppose that's what we're all trying to do – love God."I thought it very funny that he should say that, he whohadn't stepped into a temple with a serious intent since I hadhad the faculty35 of memory. But it seemed to do the trick. Youcan't reprimand a boy for wanting to love God. The three wisemen pulled away with stiff, grudging36 smiles on their faces.
Father looked at me for a second, as if to speak, thenthought better, said, "Ice cream, anyone?" and headed for theclosest ice cream wallah before we could answer. Mother gazedat me a little longer, with an expression that was both tenderand perplexed37.
That was my introduction to interfaith dialogue. Fatherbought three ice cream sandwiches. We ate them in unusualsilence as we continued on our Sunday walk.
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1
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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unity
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| n.团结，联合，统一；和睦，协调 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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devout
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| adj.虔诚的，虔敬的，衷心的 (n.devoutness) | |
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converging
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| adj.收敛[缩]的，会聚的，趋同的v.（线条、运动的物体等）会于一点( converge的现在分词 )；（趋于）相似或相同；人或车辆汇集；聚集 | |
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secular
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| n.牧师，凡人；adj.世俗的，现世的，不朽的 | |
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shrines
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| 圣地，圣坛，神圣场所( shrine的名词复数 ) | |
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salvation
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| n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困 | |
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epidemic
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| n.流行病；盛行；adj.流行性的，流传极广的 | |
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precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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serenely
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| adv.安详地，宁静地，平静地 | |
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illustrated
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| adj. 有插图的，列举的 动词illustrate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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flute
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| n.长笛；v.吹笛 | |
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bowling
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| n.保龄球运动 | |
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eyelid
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| n.眼睑，眼皮 | |
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choir
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| n.唱诗班，唱诗班的席位，合唱团，舞蹈团；v.合唱 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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astounded
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| v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词)；愕然；愕；惊讶 | |
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avert
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| v.防止，避免；转移(目光、注意力等) | |
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Christians
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| n.基督教徒( Christian的名词复数 ) | |
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civilized
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| a.有教养的，文雅的 | |
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illiterate
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| adj.文盲的；无知的；n.文盲 | |
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dallying
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| v.随随便便地对待( dally的现在分词 )；不很认真地考虑；浪费时间；调情 | |
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calf
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| n.小牛，犊，幼仔，小牛皮 | |
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hissed
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| 发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 )； 发嘘声表示反对 | |
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inflamed
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| adj.发炎的，红肿的v.（使）变红，发怒，过热( inflame的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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apoplectic
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| adj.中风的；愤怒的；n.中风患者 | |
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punctuation
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| n.标点符号，标点法 | |
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groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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piety
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| n.虔诚，虔敬 | |
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blurted
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| v.突然说出，脱口而出( blurt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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contagious
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| adj.传染性的，有感染力的 | |
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faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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grudging
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| adj.勉强的，吝啬的 | |
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perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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