JUBAL WOKE UP ALERT, rested, and happy, realized that he felt betterbefore breakfast than he had in years. For a long, long time he had beengetting through that black period between waking and the first cup of coffeeby comforting himself with the thought that tomorrow might be a little easier.
This morning he found himself whistling, which he did very badly. He noticedit, stopped himself, forgot it and started up again.
He saw himself in the mirror, smiled wryly1, then grinned openly. .Youincorrigible old goat. They’ll be sending the wagon2 for you any minute now.“He noticed a white hair on his chest, plucked it out, didn’t bother with manyothers just as white, went on making himself ready to face the world.
When he went outside his door Jill was there. Accidentally? No, he no longertrusted any .coincidence“ in this ménAge; it was as organized as a computer.
She came straight into his anns. .Jubal- Oh, we love you so! Thou art God.“He returned her kiss as warmly as it was given, grokking that it would behypocritical not to-and discovering that kissing Jill differed from kissing Dawnonly in some fashion unmistakable but utterly3 beyond instrument ordescription.
Presently he held her away from him without letting her go. .You babyMessalina . . . you framed me.“.Jubal darling ... you were wonderful!“.Uh ... how the hell did you know I was able?“She gave him back a gaze of clear-eyed innocence4. .Why, Jubal, I’ve beencertain of that ever since Mike and I first lived at home. You see, even then,when Mike was asleep-in trance-.-he could see around him quite a distanceand sometimes he would look in on you-a question to ask you or somethingtosee if you were asleep.“.But I slept alone! Always.“.Yes, dear. But that wasn’t quite what I meant. And I always had to explainthings to Mike that he didn’t understand.“.Hrrrmph!“ He decided5 not to pursue the inquiry6. .Just the same, youshouldn’t have framed me.“.I grok you don’t mean that in your heart, Jubal ... and you grok that I speakrightly. We had to have you in the Nest. All the way in. We need you. Sinceyou are shy and humble7 in your goodness, we did what was needful towelcome you without hurting you. And we did not hurt you, as you grok.“.What’s this .we’ stuff?“.It was a full Sharing-Water of all the Nest, as you grok-you were there. Mikestopped what he was doing and woke up for it . . . and grokked with you andkept us all together.“Jubal hastily abandoned this line of inquiry, too. .So Mike is awake at last.
That’s why your eyes are shining so.“.Only partly. Of course, we are always delighted when Mike isn’t withdrawn,it’s jolly ... but he’s never really away. Jubal, I grok that you have not grokkedthe fullness of our way of Sharing-Water. But waiting will fill. Nor did Mikegrok it, at first-he thought it was only for quickening of eggs, as it is on Mars.“.Well ... that’s the primary purpose, the obvious purpose. Babies. Whichmakes it rather silly behavior on the part of a person, namely me, who has nointention and no wish, at my age, to cause such increase.“She shook her head. .Babies are the obvious result ... but not the primarypurpose at all. Babies give meaning to the future, and that is a greatgoodness. But only three or four or a dozen times in a woman’s life is a babyquickened in her . . . out of the thousands of times she can share herself-andthat is the primary use for what we can do so often but would need to do soseldom if it were only for reproduction. It is sharing and growing closer,forever and always. Jubal, Mike grokked this because on Mars the twothings-quickening of eggs, and sharing-closer-are entirely8 separate . . . andhe grokked, too, that our way is best. What a happy thing it is not to havebeen hatched a Martian . . . to be human and a woman!“He looked at her closely. .Child, are you pregnant?“.Yes, Jubal. I grokked at last that waiting had ended and I was free to be.
Most of the Nest have not needed to wait-but Dawn and I have been quitebusy. But when we grokked this cusp coming, I grokked that there would be awaiting after the cusp-and you can see that there will certainly be. Mike willnot rebuild the Temple overnight-so this high priestess will be unhurried inbuilding a baby. Waiting always fills.“From this high-flown mishmash Jubal abstracted the central fact or Jill’s beliefconcerning such a possible fact. Well, she no doubt had had plenty ofopportunity. He resolved to keep an eye on the matter and try to bring herhome for it, if possible. Mike’s superman methods were all very well, but itwouldn’t hurt to have the best modern equipment and techniques at hand,too. Losing Jill to eclampsia or some other mishap10 was something he did notintend to let happen, even if he had to get tough with the kids.
He wondered about another such possibility, decided not to mention it.
.Where’s Dawn? And where’s Mike? The place seems awfully11 quiet.“ No onehad come through the hail they were in and he heard no voices and yet thatodd feeling of happy expectancy13 was even stronger than it had been thenight before. He would have expected a certain release from tension after theceremony he had apparently14 joined in himself- unbeknownst-but the placewas more charged up than ever. It suddenly reminded him of how he had felt,as a very small boy, when waiting for his first circus parade . . . and someonehad called out: .There come the elephants!“Jubal felt as if, were he just a little taller, he could see the elephants, past theexcited crowd. Yet there was no crowd.
.Dawn told me to give you a kiss for her; she’ll be busy for the next threehours, about. And Mike is busy, too-he went back into withdrawal15.“.Oh.“.Don’t sound so disappointed; he’ll be free soon. He’s making a special effortso that he will be free on your account . . . and to let all of us be free, too.
Duke spent all night scouring16 the city for the high-speed tape recorders weuse for the dictionary and now we’ve got everybody who can possibly do itbeing jammed full of Martian phonic symbols and then Mike will be throughand can visit. Dawn has just started dictating17; I finished one session, duckedout to say good-morning to you . . . and am about to go back and get pouredfull of my last part of the chore, so I’ll be gone just a little longer than Dawnwill be. And here’s Dawn’s kiss-the first one was just from me.“ She put herarms around his neck and again put her mouth greedily to his-at last said,.My goodness! Why did we wait so long? .Bye for a little!“Jubal found a sparse18 few in the big dining room. Duke looked up, smiled andwaved, went back to hearty19 eating. He did not look as if he had been up allnight-nor had he; he had been up two nights.
Becky Vesey looked around when Duke waved and said happily, .Hi, you oldgoat!“-grabbed his ear, pulled him down, and whispered into it:
.I’ve known it all along-but why weren’t you around to console me when theProfessor died?“ She added aloud, .Sit down here beside me and we’ll getsome food into you while you tell me what devilment you’ve been plottinglately.“.Just a moment, Becky.“ Jubal went around the table. .Hi, Skipper. Goodtrip?“.No trouble. It’s becoming a milk run. I don’t believe you’ve ever met Mrs. vanTromp. My dear, the founder20 of this feast, the one and only Jubal Harshawtwoof him would be too many.“The Captain’s wife was a tall, plain woman with the calm eyes of one whohas watched from the Widow’s Walk. She stood up, kissed Jubal. .Thou artGod.“.Uh, thou art God.“ Jubal decided that he might as well relax to the ritual-hell,if he said it often enough, he might lose the rest of his buttons and believe it .
. . and it did have a friendly ring to it with the arms of the Skipper’s yrouwfirmly around him. He decided that she could even teach Jul something aboutkissing. She-how was it Anne had once described it? -she gave it her wholeattention; she wasn’t going anywhere.
.I suppose, Van,“ he said, .that I really shouldn’t be surprised to find youhere.“.Well,“ answered the spaceman, .a man who commutes22 to Mars ought to beable to palaver23 with the natives, don’t you think?“.Just for powwow, huh?“.There are other aspects.“ Van Tromp reached for a piece of toast; the toastcooperated. .Good food, good company.“.Um, yes.“.Jubal,“ Madame Vesant called out, .soup’s on!“Jubal returned to his place, found eggs-on-horseback, orange juice, andother choice comestibles waiting for him. Becky patted his thigh25. .A fineprayer meeting, me bucko.“.Woman, back to your horoscopes!“.Which reminds me, deane, I want to know the exact instant of your birth.“.Uh, I was born on three successive days, at various hours. I was too big aboy-they had to handle me in sections.“Becky made a rude answer. .I’ll find out.“.The courthouse burned down when I was three. You can’t.“.There are ways. Want to make a small bet?“.You go on heckling me and you’ll find you’re not too big to spank26.
How’ve you been, girl?“.What do you think? How do I look?“.Healthy. A bit spread in the butt21. You’ve touched up your hair.“.I have not. I quit using henna months ago. Get with it, pal24, and we’ll get rid ofthat white fringe you’ve got. Replace it with a real lawn.“.Becky, I refuse to grow any younger for any reason. I came by mydecrepitude the hard way and I propose to enjoy it. Quit prattling27 and let aman eat.“.Yes, sir. You old goat.“Jubal was just leaving the table as the Man from Mars came in. .Father! Oh,Juball“ Mike hugged and kissed him.
Jubal gently unwound himself from the embrace. .Be your age, son. Sit downand enjoy your breakfast. I’ll sit with you.“.I didn’t come here looking for breakfast, I came looking for you. We’ll find aplace and talk.“.All right.“They went to the livingroom of one of the suites28, Mike pulling Jubal by thehand like an excited small boy welcoming his favorite grandparent. Mikepicked a big comfortable chair for Jubal and sprawled29 himself on a couchopposite and close to him. This room was on the side of the wing having theprivate landing flat; there were high French windows opening to it. Jubal gotup and shifted his chair slightly so that he would not be facing so directly intothe light in looking at his foster son; not to his surprise but mildly to hisannoyance the heavy chair shifted as if it had been no more massive than achild’s balloon, his hand merely guided it.
Two men and a woman were in the room when they arrived. These leftshortly, leisurely30, severally, and unostentatiously. After that they were alone,except that they were both served with Jubal’s favorite brandy-by hand, toJubal’s pleasure; he was quite ready to agree that the remote control thesepeople had over objects around them was a labor-saver and probably amoney-saver (certainly on laundry!-bis spaghetti-splashed shirt had been sofresh that he had put it on again today), and obviously a method much to bepreferred for household convenience to the blind balkiness of mechanicalgadgets. Nevertheless he was not used to telecontrol done without wires orwaves; it startled Jubal the way horseless carriages had disturbed decent,respectable horses about the time Jubal was born.
Duke served the brandy. Mike said, .Hi, Cannibal. Thanks. Are you thenew butler?“.De nada, Monster. Somebody has to do it and you’ve got every brain in theplace slaving away over a hot microphone.“.Well, they’ll all be through in a couple of hours and you can revert31 to youruseless, lecherous32 existence. The job is done, Cannibal. Pau. Thirty. Ended.“.The whole damn Martian language all in one lump? Monster, I had bettercheck you for burned-out capacitors.“.Oh, no, no! Only the primer knowledge that I have of it-had of it, my brain’san empty sack. But highbrows like Stinky will be going back to Mars for acentury to fill in what I never learned. But I did turn out quite a job-about sixweeks of Subjective33 time since around five this morning or whenever it waswe adjourned34 the meeting-and now the stalwart steady types can finish it andI’m free to visit with Jubal with nothing on my mind.“ Mike stretched andyawned. .Feels good. Finishing a job always feels good.“.You’ll be slaving away at something else before the day is out. Boss, thisMartian monster can’t take it or leave it alone. I know for a fact that this is thefirst time he has simply relaxed and done nothing for over two months. Heought to sign up with .Workers Anonymous35.’ Or you ought to visit us moreoften. You’re a good influence on him.“.God forbid that I should ever be a good influence on anybody.“.And you get out of here, Cannibal, and quit telling lies about me.“.Lies, hell. You turned me into a compulsive truth-teller ... and it’s a greathandicap in some of the jomts where I hang out.“ Duke left them.
Mike lifted his glass. .Share water, my brother Father Jubal“.Drink deep, son.“.Thou art God.“.Take it easy, Mike. I’ll put up with that from the others and answer it politely.
But don’t you come godding at me. I knew you when you were .only an egg.’“.Okay, Jubal.“.That’s better. When did you start drinking in the morning? Do that at yourage and you’ll ruin your stomach. You’ll never live to be a happy old soak,like me.“Mike looked at his partly emptied glass. .I drink when it’s a sharing to do so.
It doesn’t have any effect on me, nor on most of the others, unless we want itto. Once I let it have its effect without stopping it, until I passed Out. It’s anodd sensation. Not a goodness, I grok. Just a way to discorporate for a whilewithout discorporating. I can get a similar effect, only much better and with nodamage to be repaired afterwards, by withdrawing.“.Economical, at least.“.Uh huh, our liquor bill isn’t anything. Matter of fact, running that wholeTemple hasn’t cost what it costs you to keep up our home. Except for theinitial investment and replacing some of the props37, coffee and cakes wasabout all-we made our own fun. We were happy. We needed so little that Iused to wonder what to do with all the money that came in.“.Then why did you take collections?“.Huh? Oh, you have to charge .em, Jubal. The marks won’t pay seriousattention to anything that’s free.“.I knew that, I just wondered if you did.“.Oh, yes, I grok marks, Jubal. At first I did try to preach free-just give it away.
I had plenty of money, I thought it was all right. It didn’t work. We humanshave to make considerable progress before we can accept a free gift, andvalue it. Usually I never let them have anything free until about Sixth Circle.
By then they can accept . . . and accepting is much harder than giving.“.Hmm ... son, I think maybe you should write a book on humanpsychology.“.I have. But it’s in Martian. Stinky has the tapes.“ Mike looked again at hisglass, took a slow sybaritic sip38. .We do use some liquor. A few of us -Saul,myself, Sven, some others-like it. And I’ve learned that I can let it have just alittle effect, then hold it right at that point, and gain a euphoric growing-closermuch like trance without having to withdraw. The minor39 damage is easy torepair.“ He sipped40 again. .That’s what I’m doing this morning-letting myselfget just the mildest glow and be happy with you.“Jubal studied him closely. .Son, you aren’t drinking entirely to be sociable;you’ve got something on your mind.“.Yes, I have.“.Do you want to talk it out?“.Yes. Father, it’s always a great goodness to be with you, even if nothing istroubling me. But you are the only human I can always talk to and know thatyou will grok and that you yourself won’t be overwhelmed by it, too. Jill . . . Jillalways groks-but if it hurts me, it hurts her still more. Dawn the same. Patty . .
. well, Patty can always take my hurt away, but she does it by keeping itherself. All three of them are too easily hurt for me to risk sharing in full withthem anything I can’t grok and cherish before I share it.“ Mike looked verythoughtful. .Confession41 is needful. The Catholics know that, they have it-andthey have a corps42 of strong men to take it. The Fosterites have groupconfession and pass it around among themselves and thin it out. I need tointroduce confession into this church, as part of the early purging-oh, wehave it now, but spontaneously, after the pilgrim no longer really needs it. Weneed strong men for that-.sin’ is hardly ever concerned with a real wrongnessbut sin is what the sinner groks as sin-and when you grok it with him, it canbe very disturbing. I know.“Mike went on earnestly, .Goodness is not enough, goodness is neverenough. That was one of my first mistakes, because among Martiansgoodness and wisdom are the same thing, identical. But not with us. TakeJill. Her goodness was perfect when I met her. Nevertheless she was allmixed up inside-and I almost destroyed her, and myself too-for I was just asmixed up-before we got squared away. Her endless patience (not verycommon on this planet) was all that saved us . . . while I was learning to be ahuman and she was learning what I knew.
.But goodness alone is never enough. A hard, cold wisdom is required, too,for goodness to accomplish good. Goodness without wisdom invariablyaccomplishes evil.“ He smiled and his face lit up. .And that’s why I need you,Father, as well as loving you. I need to make confession to you.,’
Jubal squirmed. .Oh, for Pete’s sake, Mike, don’t make a production out of it.
Just tell me what’s eating you. We’ll find a way out.“.Yes, Father.“But Mike did not go on. Finally Jubal said, .Do you feel busted43 up by thedestruction of your Temple? I wouldn’t blame you. But you aren’t broke, youcan build again.“.Oh, no, that doesn’t matter in the slightest!“.Eh?“.That temple was a diary with all its pages filled. Time for a new one, ratherthan write over and deface the filled pages. Fire can’t destroy the experiencein it . . . and strictly44 from a standpoint of publicity45 and practical church politics,being run Out of it in so spectacular a fashion will be helpful, in the long run.
No, Jubal, the last couple of days have simply been an enjoyable break in abusy routine. No harm done.“ His expression changed. .Father ... lately Ilearned that I was a spy.“.What do you mean, son? Explain yourself.“.For the Old Ones. They sent me here to spy on our people.“Jubal thought about it. Finally he said, .Mike, I know that you are brilliant.
You obviously possess powers that I don’t have and that I have never seenbefore. But a man can be a genius and still fall ill with delusions46.“.I know. Let me explain and you can decide whether or not I’m crazy. Youknow how the surveillance satellites used by the Security Forces operate.“.No.“.I don’t mean the details that would interest Duke; I mean the generalscheme. They orbit around the globe, picking up data and storing it. At aparticular point, the Sky-Eye is keyed and it pours out in a spate47 all that it hasseen. That is what was done with me. You know that we of the Nest use whatis called telepathy.“.I’ve been forced to believe it.“.We do. By the way, this conversation is completely private-and besides that,no one of us would ever attempt to read you; I’m not sure we could. Even lastnight the link was through Dawn’s mind, not yours.“.Well, that is some slight comfort.“.Uh, I want to get to that later. I am .only an egg’ in this art; the Old Ones arepast masters. They stayed linked with me but left me on my own, ignored methenthey triggered me and all that I had seen and heard and done and feltand grokked poured out of me and became part of their permanent records. Idon’t mean that they wiped my mind of my experiences; they simply playedthe tape, so to speak, made a copy. But the triggering I was aware of-and itwas over before I could possibly do anything to stop it. Then they droppedme, cut off the linkage48; I couldn’t even protest.“.Well ... it seems to me that they used you pretty shabbily-.
.Not by their standards. Nor would I have objected-I would have been happyto volunteer-had I known about it before I left Mars. But they didn’t want meto know; they wanted me to see and grok without interference.“.I was going to add,“ Jubal said, .that if you are free of this damnableinvasion of your privacy now, then what harm has been done? It seems tome that you could have had a Martian at your elbow all these past two and ahalf years, with no harm other than attracting stares.“Mike looked very sober. .Jubal, listen to a story. Listen all the way through.“Mike told him of the destruction of the missing Fifth Planet of Sol, whoseruins are the asteroids49. .Well, Jubal?“.It reminds me a little of the myths about the Flood.“.No, Jubal. The Flood you aren’t sure about. Are you sure about thedestruction of Pompeii and Herculaneum?“.Oh, yes. Those are established historical facts.“.Jubal, the destruction of the Fifth Planet by the Old Ones is as historicallycertain as that eruption50 of Vesuvius-and it is recorded in much greater detail.
No myth. Fact.“.Uh, stipulate51 it as such. Do I understand that you fear that the Old Ones ofMars will decide to give this planet the same treatment? Will you forgive me ifI say that is a bit hard for me to swallow?“.Why, Jubal, it wouldn’t take the Old Ones to do it. It merely takes a certainfundamental knowledge of physics, how matter is put together- and the samesort of control that you have seen me use time and again. Simply necessaryfirst to grok what you want to manipulate. I can do it unassisted, right now.
Say a piece near the core of the planet about a hundred miles in diametermuchbigger than necessary but we want to make this fast and painless, ifonly to please Jill. Feel out its size and place, then grok carefully how it is puttogether-. His face lost all expression as he talked and his eyeballs started toturn up.
.Hey!“ broke in Harshaw. .Cut it out! I don’t know whether you can or youcan’t but I’m certain I don’t want you to try!“The face of the Man from Mars became normal. .Why, I would never do it.
For me, it would be a wrongness-I am human.“.But not for them?“.Oh, no. The Old Ones might grok it as beauty. I don’t know. Oh, I have thediscipline to do it . . . but not the volition52. Jill could do it-that is, she couldcontemplate the exact method. But she could never will to do it; she is humantoo; this is her planet. The essence of the discipline is, first, self-awareness,and then, sell-control. By the time a human is physically53 able to destroy thisplanet by this method-instead of by clumsy things like cobalt bombs-it is notpossible, I grok fully12, for him to entertain such a volition. He woulddiscorporate. And that would end any threat; our Old Ones don’t hang aroundthe way they do on Mars.“.Mmmm ... son, as long as we are checking you for bats in your belfry, clearup something else. You’ve always spoken of these .Old Ones’ as casually54 asI speak of the neighbor’s dog-but I find ghosts hard to swallow. What does an.Old One’ look like?“.Why, just like any other Martian ... except that there is more variety in theappearance of adult Martians than there is in us.“.Then how do you know it’s not just an adult Martian? Doesn’t he walkthrough walls, or some such?“.Any Martian can do that. I did, just yesterday.“.Uh ... shimmers55? Or anything?“.No. You see, hear, feel them-everything. It’s like an image in a stereo tank,only perfect and put right into your mind. But- Look, Jubal, the whole thingwould be a silly question on Mars, but I realize it isn’t, here. But if you hadbeen present at the discorporation-death-of a friend, then you helped eat hisbody . . . and then you saw his ghost, talked with it, touched it, anythingwouldyou then believe in ghosts?“.Well, either ghosts, or I myself had slipped my leash56.“.All right. Here it would be an hallucination . . if I grok correctly that we don’tstay here when we discorporate. But in the case of Mars, there is either anentire planet with a very rich and complex civilization all run by masshallucination-or the straightforward57 explanation is correct the one I wastaught and the one all my experience led me to believe. Because on Mars the.ghosts’ are by far the most important and most powerful and much the mostnumerous part of the population. The ones still alive, the corporate36 ones, arethe hewers of wood and drawers of water, servants to the Old Ones.“Jubal nodded. .Okay. I’ll never boggle at slicing with Occam’s razor. While itruns contrary to my own experience, my experience is limited to this planetprovincial.
All right, son, you’re scared that they might destroy us?“Mike shook his head. .Not especially. I think-this is not a grokking but a mereguess-that they might do one of two things: either destroy us or attempt toconquer us culturally, make us over into their own image.“.But you’re not fretted58 that they might blow us up? That’s a pretty detachedviewpoint, even for me.“.No. Oh, I think they might reach that decision. You see, by their standards,we are a diseased and crippled people-the things that we do to each other,the way we fail to understand each other, our almost complete failure to grokwith one another, our wars and diseases and famines and cruelties-these willbe complete idiocy59 to them. I know. So I think they may very probably decideon a mercy killing60. But that’s a guess, I’m not an Old One. But, Jubal, if theydecide to do this, it will be-. Mike stopped and thought for quite a long time. .-an utter minimum of five hundred years, more likely five thousand, beforeanything would be done.“.That’s a long time for a jury to be out.“.Jubal, the most different thing about the two races is that Martians neverhurry-and humans always do. They would much rather think about it an extracentury or half a dozen, just to be sure that they have grokked all thefullness.“.In that case, son, I suggest that you not worry about it. If, in another fivehundred or a thousand years, the human race can’t handle its neighbors, youand I can’t help it. However, I suspect that they will be able to.“.So I grok, but not in fullness. But I said I wasn’t worried about that. The otherpossibility troubled me more, that they might move in and try to make usover. Jubal, they can’t do it. An attempt to make us behave like Martianswould kill us just as certainly but much less painlessly. It would all be a greatwrongness.“Jubal took time to answer. .But, son, isn’t that exactly what you have beentrying to do?“Mike looked unhappy. .Yes and no. It was what I started out to do. It is notwhat I am trying to do now. Father, I know that you were disappointed in mewhen I started this.“.Your business, son.“.Yes. Self. I must grok and decide at each cusp myself alone. And so mustyou . . . and so must each self. Thou art God.“.I don’t accept the nomination61.“.You can’t refuse it. Thou art God and I am God and all that groks is God,and I am all that I have ever been or seen or felt or experienced. I am all thatI grok. Father, I saw the horrible shape this planet is in and I grokked, thoughnot in fullness, that I could change it. What I had to teach couldn’t be taughtin schools or colleges; I was forced to smuggle62 it into town dressed up as areligion-which it is not-and con9 the marks into tasting it by appealing to theircuriosity and their desire to be entertained. In part it worked exactly as I knewit would; the discipline and the knowledge was just as available to others as itwas to me, who was raised in a Martian nest. Our brothers get alongtogether-you’ve seen us, you’ve shared-live in peace and happiness with nobitterness, no jealousy63.
.That last alone was a triumph that proved I was right. Male-femaleness isthe greatest gift we have-romantic physical love may be unique to this planet.
I don’t know. If it is, the universe is a much poorer place than it could be . . .
and I grok dimly that we-who-are-God will save this precious invention andspread it. The actual joining and blending of two physical bodies withsimultaneous merging64 of souls in shared ecstasy65 of love, giving and receivingand delighting in each other-well, there’s nothing on Mars to touch it, and it’sthe source, I grok in fullness, of all that makes this planet so rich andwonderful. And, Jubal, until a person, man or woman, has enjoyed thistreasure bathed in the mutual66 bliss67 of having minds linked as closely asbodies, that person is still as virginal and alone as if he had never copulated.
But I grok that you have; your very reluctance68 to risk a lesser69 thing proves it .
. . and, anyhow, I know it directly. You grok. You always have. Without evenneeding the aid of the language of grokking. Dawn told us that you were asdeep into her mind as you were into her body.“.Unh ... the lady exaggerates.“.It is impossible for Dawn to speak other than rightly about this. And-forgiveme-we were there. In her mind but not in yours . . . and you were there withus, sharing.“Jubal refrained from saying that the only times he had ever felt even faintlythat he could read minds was precisely70 in that situation . . . and then notthoughts, but emotions. He simply regretted without bitterness that he wasnot half a century younger-in which case he knew that Dawn would have hadthat .Miss“ taken off the front of her name and he would have boldly riskedanother marriage, in spite of his scars. Also that he would not trade thepreceding night for all the years that might be left to him. In essence, Mikewas dead right. .Go on, sir.“.That’s what it should be. But that’s what I slowly grokked it rarely was.
Instead it was indifference71 and acts mechanically performed and rape72 andseduction as a game no better than roulette but with poorer odds73 andprostitution and celibacy74 by choice and by no choice and fear and guilt75 andhatred and violence and children brought up to think that sex was .bad’ and.shameful’ and .animal’ and something to be hidden and always distrusted.
This lovely perfect thing, male-femaleness, turned upside down and insideout and made horrible.
.And every one of those wrong things is a corollary of .jealousy.’ Jubal, Icouldn’t believe it. I still don’t grok .jealousy’ in fullness, it seems an insanityto me, a terrible wrongness. When I first learned what this ecstasy was, myfirst thought was that I wanted to share it, share it at once with all my waterbrothers-directly with those female, indirectly76 by inviting77 more sharing withthose male. The notion of trying to keep this neverfailing fountain to myselfwould have horrified78 me, had I thought of it. But I was incapable79 of thinking ofit. And in perfect corollary I had not the slightest wish to attempt this miraclewith anyone I did not already love and trust-Jubal, I am physically unableeven to attempt love with a female who has not already shared water withme. And this same thing runs all through the Nest. Psychic80 impotence unlessour spirits blend as our flesh blends.“Jubal had been listening and thinking mournfully that it was a fine system-forangels-when a sky car landed on the private landing flat diagonally in front ofhim. He turned his head to see and, as its skids81 touched, it disappeared,vanished.
.Trouble?“ he said.
.No trouble,“ Mike denied. .It’s just that they are beginning to suspect that weare here-that I am here, rather. They think the rest are dead. The InnermostTemple, I mean. The other circles aren’t being bothered especially . . . andmany of them have left town until it blows over.“ He grinned. .We could get agood price for these hotel rooms; the city is filling up .way past capacity withBishop Short’s shock troops.“.Well? Isn’t it about time to get the family elsewhere?“.Jubal, don’t worry about it. That car never had a chance to report, even byradio. I’m keeping a close watch. It’s no trouble, now that Jill is over hermisconceptions about .wrongness’ in discorporating persons who havewrongness in them. I used to have to go to all sorts of complicatedexpedients to protect us. But now Jill knows that I do it only as fullness isgrokked.“ The Man from Mars grinned boyishly. .Last night she helped mewith a hatchet82 job . . . nor was it the first time she has done so.“.What sort of a job?“.Oh, just a follow-up on the jail break. Some few of those in jail or prison Icouldn’t release; they were vicious. So I got rid of them before I got rid of thebars and doors. But I have been slowly grokking this whole city for manymonths now . . . and quite a few of the worst were not in jail. Some of themwere even in public office. I have been waiting, making a list, making sure offullness in each case. So, now that we are leaving this city-they don’t livehere anymore. Missing. They needed to be discorporated and sent back tothe foot of the line to try again. Incidentally, that was the grokking thatchanged Jill’s attitude from squeamishness to hearty approval: when shefinally grokked in fullness that it is utterly impossible to kill a man-that all wewere doing was much like a referee83 removing a man from a game for.unnecessary roughness.’“.Aren’t you afraid of playing God, lad?“Mike grinned with unashamed cheerfulness. .I am God. Thou art God . . .
and any jerk I remove is God, too. Jubal, it is said that God notes eachsparrow that falls. And so He does. But the proper closest statement of it thatcan be made in English is that God cannot avoid noting the sparrow becausethe Sparrow is God. And when a cat stalks a sparrow both of them are God,carrying out God’s thoughts.“Another sky car started to land and vanished just before touching84; Jubalhardly thought it worth comment. .How many did you find worthy85 of beingtossed out of the game last night?“.Oh, quite a number. About a hundred and fifty. I guess-I didn’t count. This isa large city, you know. But for a while it is going to be an unusually decentone. No cure, of course-there is no cure, short of acquiring a hard discipline.“Mike looked unhappy. .And that is what I must ask you about, Father. I’mafraid I have misled the people who have followed me. All our brothers.“.How, Mike?“.They’re too optimistic. They have seen how well it has worked for us, they allknow how happy they are, how strong and healthy and aware-how deeplythey love each other. And now they think they grok that it is just a matter oftime until the whole human race will reach the same beatitude. Oh, nottomorrow-some of them grok that two thousand years is but a moment forsuch an experiment. But eventually.
.And I thought so, too, at first. I led them to think so. But, Jubal, I had misseda key point: Humans are not Martians. I made this mistake again and againcorrectedmyself ... and still made it. What works perfectly86 for Martians doesnot necessarily work for humans. Oh, the conceptual logic87 which can bestated only in Martian does work for both races. The logic is invariant . . . butthe data are different. So the results are different.“.I couldn’t see why, if people were hungry, some of them didn’t volunteer tobe butchered so that the rest could eat . . . on Mars this is obvious-and anhonor. I couldn’t understand why babies were so prized. On Mars our twolittle girls in there would simply be dumped outdoors, to live or to die-and onMars nine out of ten nymphs die their first season. My logic was right but Ihad misread the data: here babies do not compete but adults do; on Marsadults don’t compete at all, they’ve been weeded out as babies. But one wayor another, competing and weeding has to take place . . . or a race goesdown hill.
.But whether or not I was wrong in trying to take the competition out at bothends, I have lately begun to grok that the human race won’t let me, no matterwhat.“Duke stuck his head into the room. .Mike? Have you been watching outside?
There is quite a crowd gathering88 around the hotel.“.I know,“ agreed Mike. .Tell the others that waiting has not filled.“ He went onto Jubal, .’Thou art God.’ It’s not a message of cheer and hope, Jubal. It’s adefiance-and an unafraid unabashed assumption of personal responsibility.“He looked sad. .But I rarely put it over. A very few, so far just these few herewith us today, our brothers, understood me and accepted the bitter half alongwith the sweet, stood up and drank it- grokked it. The others, the hundredsand thousands of others, either insisted on treating it as a prize without acontest-a .conversion’ . . . or ignored it entirely. No matter what I said theyinsisted on thinking of God as something outside themselves. Something thatyearns to take every indolent moron89 to His breast and comfort him. Thenotion that the effort has to be their own . . . and that all the trouble they arein is of their own doing . . . is one that they can’t or won’t entertain.“The Man from Mars shook his head. .And my failures are so much morenumerous than my successes that I am beginning to wonder if full grokkingwill show that I am on the wrong track entirely-that this race must be split up,hating each other, fighting each other, constantly unhappy and at war evenwith their own individual selves . . . simply to have that weeding Out thatevery race must have. Tell me, Father? You must tell me.“.Mike, what in hell ever led you to believe that I was infallible?“.Perhaps you are not. But every time I have needed to know something, youhave always been able to tell me-and fullness always showed that you spokerightly.“.Damn it, I refuse this apotheosis90! But I do see one thing, son. You are theone who has urged everyone else never to be in a hurry-.waiting will fill,’ yousay.“.That is right.“.And now you are violating your own prime rule. You have waited only a littlewhile-a very short while by Martian standards, I take it-and already you wantto throw in the towel. You’ve proved that your system can work for a smallgroup-and I’m glad to confirm it; I’ve never seen such happy, healthy,cheerful people. That ought to be enough to suit you for the short time you’veput in. Come back when you have a thousand times this number, all workingand happy and unjealous, and we’ll talk it over again. Fair enough?“.You speak rightly, Father.“.But I ain’t through. You’ve been fretting91 that maybe the fact that you failed tohook more than ninety-nine out of a hundred was because the race couldn’tget along without its present evils, had to have them for weeding out. Butdamn it, lad, you’ve been doing the weeding out-or rather, the failures havebeen doing it to themselves by not listening to you. Had you planned toeliminate money and property?“.Oh, no! Inside the Nest we don’t need it, but-.
.Nor does any family that’s working well. Yours is just bigger. But outside youneed it in dealing92 with other people. Sam tells me that our brothers, insteadof getting unworldly, are slicker with money than ever. Is that right?“.Oh, yes. Making money is a simple trick, once you grok.“.You’ve just added a new beatitude: .Blessed is the rich in spirit, for he shallmake dough93.’ How do our people stack up in other fields? Better or worsethan average?“.Oh, better, of course-if it’s anything worth grokking at all. You see, Jubal, it’snot a faith; the discipline is simply a method of efficient functioning at anyactivity you try.“.That’s your whole answer, son. If what you say is true-and I’m not judging;I’m asking, you’re answering-then that’s all the competition you need . . . anda fairly one-sided race, too. If one tenth of one percent of the population iscapable of getting the news, then all you have to do is show them-and in amatter of some generations all the stupid ones will die out and those withyour discipline will inherit the Earth. Whenever that is-a thousand years fromnow, or ten thousand-will be plenty soon enough to worry about whethersome new hurdle94 is necessary to make them jump higher. But don’t gogetting faint-hearted because only a handful have turned into angelsovernight. Personally, I never expected any of them to manage it. I simplythought you were making a damn fool of yourself by pretending to be apreacher.“Mike sighed and smiled. .I was beginning to be afraid I was-worrying that Ihad let my brothers down.“.I still wish you had called it .Cosmic Halitosis’ or some such. But the namedoesn’t matter. If you’ve got the truth, you can demonstrate it. Show people.
Talking about it doesn’t prove it.“The Man from Mars stood up. .You’ve got me all squared away, Father. I’mready now. I grok the fullness.“ He looked toward the doorway95. .Yes, Patty. Iheard you. The waiting is ended.“.Yes, Michael.
收听单词发音 |
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wryly
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| adv. 挖苦地，嘲弄地 | |
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wagon
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| n.四轮马车，手推车，面包车；无盖运货列车 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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con
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| n.反对的观点，反对者，反对票，肺病；vt.精读，学习，默记；adv.反对地，从反面；adj.欺诈的 | |
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mishap
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| n.不幸的事，不幸；灾祸 | |
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awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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expectancy
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| n.期望，预期，（根据概率统计求得）预期数额 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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withdrawal
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| n.取回，提款；撤退，撤军；收回，撤销 | |
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scouring
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| 擦[洗]净，冲刷，洗涤 | |
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dictating
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| v.大声讲或读( dictate的现在分词 )；口授；支配；摆布 | |
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sparse
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| adj.稀疏的，稀稀落落的，薄的 | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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Founder
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| n.创始者，缔造者 | |
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butt
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| n.笑柄；烟蒂；枪托；臀部；v.用头撞或顶 | |
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commutes
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| 上下班路程( commute的名词复数 ) | |
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palaver
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| adj.壮丽堂皇的；n.废话，空话 | |
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pal
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| n.朋友，伙伴，同志；vi.结为友 | |
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thigh
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| n.大腿；股骨 | |
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spank
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| v.打，拍打(在屁股上) | |
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prattling
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| v.（小孩般）天真无邪地说话( prattle的现在分词 )；发出连续而无意义的声音；闲扯；东拉西扯 | |
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suites
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| n.套( suite的名词复数 )；一套房间；一套家具；一套公寓 | |
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sprawled
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| v.伸开四肢坐[躺]( sprawl的过去式和过去分词)；蔓延；杂乱无序地拓展；四肢伸展坐着（或躺着） | |
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leisurely
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| adj.悠闲的；从容的，慢慢的 | |
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revert
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| v.恢复，复归，回到 | |
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lecherous
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| adj.好色的；淫邪的 | |
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subjective
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| a.主观(上)的，个人的 | |
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adjourned
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| （使）休会， （使）休庭( adjourn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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anonymous
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| adj.无名的；匿名的；无特色的 | |
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corporate
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| adj.共同的，全体的；公司的，企业的 | |
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props
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| 小道具； 支柱( prop的名词复数 )； 支持者； 道具； （橄榄球中的）支柱前锋 | |
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sip
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| v.小口地喝，抿，呷；n.一小口的量 | |
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minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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40
sipped
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| v.小口喝，呷，抿( sip的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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corps
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| n.(通信等兵种的)部队；(同类作的)一组 | |
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43
busted
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| adj. 破产了的，失败了的，被降级的，被逮捕的，被抓到的 动词bust的过去式和过去分词 | |
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44
strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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publicity
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| n.众所周知，闻名；宣传，广告 | |
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46
delusions
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| n.欺骗( delusion的名词复数 )；谬见；错觉；妄想 | |
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47
spate
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| n.泛滥，洪水，突然的一阵 | |
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48
linkage
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| n.连接；环节 | |
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asteroids
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| n.小行星( asteroid的名词复数 )；海盘车，海星 | |
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50
eruption
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| n.火山爆发；（战争等）爆发；（疾病等）发作 | |
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51
stipulate
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| vt.规定，（作为条件）讲定，保证 | |
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52
volition
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| n.意志；决意 | |
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53
physically
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| adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律 | |
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54
casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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shimmers
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| n.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的名词复数 )v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的第三人称单数 ) | |
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56
leash
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| n.牵狗的皮带，束缚；v.用皮带系住 | |
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57
straightforward
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| adj.正直的，坦率的；易懂的，简单的 | |
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fretted
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| 焦躁的，附有弦马的，腐蚀的 | |
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59
idiocy
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| n.愚蠢 | |
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killing
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| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
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61
nomination
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| n.提名，任命，提名权 | |
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smuggle
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| vt.私运；vi.走私 | |
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jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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merging
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| 合并（分类） | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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66
mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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68
reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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lesser
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| adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地 | |
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precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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rape
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| n.抢夺，掠夺，强奸；vt.掠夺，抢夺，强奸 | |
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odds
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| n.让步，机率，可能性，比率；胜败优劣之别 | |
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74
celibacy
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| n.独身(主义) | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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indirectly
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| adv.间接地，不直接了当地 | |
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inviting
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| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
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horrified
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| a.(表现出)恐惧的 | |
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incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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psychic
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| n.对超自然力敏感的人；adj.有超自然力的 | |
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81
skids
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| n.滑向一侧( skid的名词复数 )；滑道；滚道；制轮器v.（通常指车辆） 侧滑( skid的第三人称单数 )；打滑；滑行；（住在）贫民区 | |
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82
hatchet
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| n.短柄小斧；v.扼杀 | |
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83
referee
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| n.裁判员．仲裁人，代表人，鉴定人 | |
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84
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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85
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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86
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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87
logic
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| n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性 | |
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88
gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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89
moron
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| n.极蠢之人，低能儿 | |
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90
apotheosis
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| n.神圣之理想；美化；颂扬 | |
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91
fretting
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| n. 微振磨损 adj. 烦躁的, 焦虑的 | |
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92
dealing
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| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
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93
dough
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| n.生面团；钱，现款 | |
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94
hurdle
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| n.跳栏，栏架；障碍，困难；vi.进行跨栏赛 | |
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95
doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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