The Deliverator belongs to an elite1 order, a hallowed subcategory. He's got esprit up to here. Right now, he is preparing to carry out his third mission of the night. His uniform is black as activated2 charcoal3, filtering the very light out of the air. A bullet will bounce off its arachnofiber weave like a wren5 hitting a patio6 door, but excess perspiration7 wafts8 through it like a breeze through a freshly napalmed forest, Where his body has bony extremities9, the suit has sintered armorgel: feels like gritty jello10, protects like a stack of telephone books.
When they gave him the job, they gave him a gun. The Deliverator never deals in cash, but someone might come after him anyway -- might want his car, or his cargo11. The gun is tiny, acm-styled, lightweight, the kind of gun a fashion designer would carry; it fires teensy darts12 that fly at five times the velocity13 of an SR-71 spy plane, and when you get done using it, you have to plug it into the cigarette lighter14, because it runs on electricity.
The Deliverator never pulled that gun in anger, or in fear. He pulled it once in Gila Highlands. Some punks in Gila Highlands, a fancy Burbclave, wanted themselves a delivery, and they didn't want to pay for it. Thought they would impress the Deliverator with a baseball bat. The Deliverator took out his gun, centered its laser doohickey on that poised15 Louisville Slugger, fired it. The recoil16 was immense, as though the weapon had blown up in his hand. The middle third of the baseball bat turned into a column of burning sawdust accelerating in all directions like a bursting star. Punk ended up holding this bat handle with milky17 smoke pouring out the end. Stupid look on his face. Didn't get nothing but trouble from the Deliverator.
Since then the Deliverator has kept the gun in the glove compartment18 and relied, instead, on a matched set of samurai swords, which have always been his weapon of choice anyhow. The punks in Gila Highlands weren't afraid of the gun, so the Deliverator was forced to use it. But swords need no demonstrations19.
The Deliverator's car has enough potential energy packed into its batteries to fire a pound of bacon into the Asteroid20 Belt. Unlike a bimbo box or a Burb beater, the Deliverator's car unloads that power through gaping21, gleaming, polished sphincters. When the Deliverator puts the hammer down, shit happens. You want to talk contact patches? Your car's tires have tiny contact patches, talk to the asphalt in four places the size of your tongue. The Deliverator's car has big sticky tires with contact patches the size of a fat lady's thighs22. The Deliverator is in touch with the road, starts like a bad day, stops on a peseta.
Why is the Deliverator so equipped? Because people rely on him. He is a role model. This is America. People do whatever the fuck they feel like doing, you got a problem with that? Because they have a right to. And because they have guns and no one can fucking stop them. As a result, this country has one of the worst economies in the world. When it gets down to it -- talking trade balances here -- once we've brain-drained all our technology into other countries, once things have evened out, they're making cars in Bolivia and microwave ovens in Tadzhikistan and selling them here -- once our edge in natural resources has been made irrelevant23 by giant Hong Kong ships and dirigibles that can ship North Dakota all the way to New Zealand for a nickel -- once the Invisible Hand has taken all those historical inequities and smeared24 them out into a broad global layer of what a Pakistani brickmaker would consider to be prosperity -- y'know what? There's only four things we do better than anyone else
music movies microcode (software) high-speed pizza delivery
The Deliverator used to make software. Still does, sometimes. But if life were a mellow26 elementary school run by well-meaning education Ph.D.s, the Deliverator's report card would say: "Hiro is so bright and creative but needs to work harder on his cooperation skills."
So now he has this other job. No brightness or creativity involved -- but no cooperation either. Just a single principle: The Deliverator stands tall, your pie in thirty minutes or you can have it free, shoot the driver, take his car, file a class-action suit. The Deliverator has been working this job for six months, a rich and lengthy28 tenure29 by his standards, and has never delivered a pizza in more than twenty-one minutes.
Oh, they used to argue over times, many corporate30 driver-years lost to it: homeowners, red-faced and sweaty with their own lies, stinking31 of Old Spice and job-related stress, standing32 in their glowing yellow doorways34 brandishing35 their Seikos and waving at the clock over the kitchen sink, I swear, can't you guys tell time?
Didn't happen anymore. Pizza delivery a major industry. A managed industry. People went to CosaNostra Pizza University four years just to learn it. Came in its doors unable to write an English sentence, from Abkhazia, Rwanda, Guanajuato, South Jersey36, and came out knowing more about pizza than a Bedouin knows about sand. And they had studied this problem. Graphed the frequency of doorway33 delivery-time disputes. Wired the early Deliverators to record, then analyze37, the debating tactics, the voice-stress histograms, the distinctive39 grammatical structures employed by white middle-class Type A Burbclave occupants who against all logic40 had decided41 that this was the place to take their personal Custerian stand against all that was stale and deadening in their lives: they were going to lie, or delude42 themselves, about the time of their phone call and get themselves a free pizza; no, they deserved a free pizza along with their life, liberty, and pursuit of whatever, it was fucking inalienable. Sent psychologists out to these people's houses, gave them a free TV set to submit to an anonymous43 interview, hooked them to polygraphs, studied their brain waves as they showed them choppy, inexplicable44 movies of porn queens and late-night car crashes and Sammy Davis, Jr., put them in sweet-smelling, mauve-walled rooms and asked them questions about Ethics45 so perplexing that even a Jesuit couldn't respond without committing a venial47 sin.
The analysts48 at CosaNostra Pizza University concluded that it was just human nature and you couldn't fix it, and so they went for a quick cheap technical fix: smart boxes. The pizza box is a plastic carapace49 now, corrugated50 for stiffness, a little LED readout glowing on the side, telling the Deliverator how many trade imbalance-producing minutes have ticked away since the fateful phone call. There are chips and stuff in there. The pizzas rest, a short stack of them, in slots behind the Deliverator's head. Each pizza glides51 into a slot like a circuit board into a computer, clicks into place as the smart box interfaces52 with the onboard system of the Deliverator's car. The address of the caller has already been inferred from his phone number and poured into the smart box's built-in RAM38. From there it is communicated to the car, which computes53 and projects the optimal54 route on a heads-up display, a glowing colored map traced out against the windshield so that the Deliverator does not even have to glance down.
If the thirty-minute deadline expires, news of the disaster is flashed to CosaNostra Pizza Headquarters and relayed from there to Uncle Enzo himself -- the Sicilian Colonel Sanders, the Andy Griffith of Bensonhurst, the straight razor-swinging figment of many a Deliverator's nightmares, the Capo and prime figurehead of CosaNostra Pizza, Incorporated -- who will be on the phone to the customer within five minutes, apologizing profusely55. The next day, Uncle Enzo will land on the customer's yard in a jet helicopter and apologize some more and give him a free trip to Italy -- all he has to do is sign a bunch of releases that make him a public figure and spokesperson for CosaNostra Pizza and basically end his private life as he knows it. He will come away from the whole thing feeling that, somehow, be owes the Mafia a favor.
The Deliverator does not know for sure what happens to the driver in such cases, but he has heard some rumors58. Most pizza deliveries happen in the evening hours, which Uncle Enzo considers to be his private time. And how would you feel if you bad to interrupt dinner with your family in order to call some obstreperous59 dork in a Burbclave and grovel60 for a late fucking pizza? Uncle Enzo has not put in fifty years serving his family and his country so that, at the age when most are playing golf and bobbling their granddaughters, he can get out of the bathtub dripping wet and lie down and kiss the feet of some sixteen-year-old skate punk whose pepperoni was thirty-one minutes in coming. Oh, God. It makes the Deliverator breathe a little shallower just to think of the idea.
But he wouldn't drive for CosaNostra Pizza any other way.
You know why? Because there's something about having your life on the line. It's like being a kamikaze pilot. Your mind is clear. Other people -- store clerks, burger flippers, software engineers, the whole vocabulary of meaningless jobs that make up Life in America -- other people just rely on plain old competition.
Better flip61 your burgers or debug your subroutines faster and better than your high school classmate two blocks down the strip is flipping62 or debugging, because we're in competition with those guys, and people notice these things. What a fucking rat race that is. CosaNostra Pizza doesn't have any competition. Competition goes against the Mafia ethic46. You don't work harder because you're competing against some identical operation down the street. You work harder because everything is on the line. Your name, your honor, your family, your life. Those burger flippers might have a better life expectancy63 -- but what kind of life is it anyway, you have to ask yourself. That's why nobody, not even the Nipponese, can move pizzas faster than CosaNostra. The Deliverator is proud to wear the uniform, proud to drive the car, proud to march up the front walks of innumerable Burbclave homes, a grim vision in ninja black, a pizza on his shoulder, red LED digits64 blazing proud numbers into the night: 12:32 or 15:15 or the occasional 20:43.
The Deliverator is assigned to CosaNostra Pizza #3569 in the Valley. Southern California doesn't know whether to bustle65 or just strangle itself on the spot. Not enough roads for the number of people. Fairlanes, Inc. is laying new ones all the time. Have to bulldoze lots of neighborhoods to do it, but those seventies and eighties developments exist to be bulldozed, right? No sidewalks, no schools, no nothing. Don't have their own police force -- no immigration control -- undesirables67 can walk right in without being frisked or even harassed68. Now a Burbclave, that's the place to live. A city-state with its own constitution, a border, laws, cops, everything.
The Deliverator was a corporal in the Farms of Merryvale State Security Force for a while once. Got himself fired for pulling a sword on an acknowledged perp. Slid it right through the fabric70 of the perp's shirt, gliding71 the flat of the blade along the base of his neck, and pinned him to a warped72 and bubbled expanse of vinyl siding on the wall of the house that the perp was trying to break into. Thought it was a pretty righteous bust66. But they fired him anyway because the perp turned out to be the son of the vice-chancellor of the Farms of Merryvale. Oh, the weasels had an excuse: said that a thirty-six-inch samurai sword was not on their Weapons Protocol73. Said that he had violated the SPAC, the Suspected Perpetrator Apprehension74 Code. Said that the perp had suffered psychological trauma75. He was afraid of butter knives now; he had to spread his jelly with the back of a teaspoon76. They said that he had exposed them to liability.
The Deliverator had to borrow some money to pay for it. Had to borrow it from the Mafia, in fact. So he's in their database now -- retinal patterns, DNA77, voice graph, fingerprints78, footprints, palm prints, wrist prints, every fucking part of the body that had wrinkles on it, almost -- those bastards79 rolled in ink and made a print and digitized it into their computer. But it's their money -- sure they're careful about loaning it out. And when he applied80 for the Deliverator job they were happy to take him, because they knew him. When he got the loan, he had to deal personally with the assistant vice-capo of the Valley, who later recommended him for the Deliverator job. So it was like being in a family. A really scary, twisted, abusive family.
CosaNostra Pizza #3569 is on Vista81 Road just down from Kings Park Mall. Vista Road used to belong to the State of California and now is called Fairlanes, Inc. Rte. CSV-5. Its main competition used to be a U.S. highway and is now called Cruiseways, Inc. Rte. Cal-12. Farther up the Valley, the two competing highways actually cross. Once there had been bitter disputes, the intersection82 closed by sporadic83 sniper fire. Finally, a big developer bought the entire intersection and turned it into a drive-through mall. Now the roads just feed into a parking system -- not a lot, not a ramp84, but a system -- and lose their identity. Getting through the intersection involves tracing paths through the parking system, many braided filaments85 of direction like the Ho Chi Minh trail. CSV-5 has better throughput, but Cal.12 has better pavement. That is typical -- Fairlanes roads emphasize getting you there, for Type A drivers, and Cruiseways emphasize the enjoyment86 of the ride, for Type B drivers.
The Deliverator is a Type A driver with rabies. He is zeroing in on his home base, CosaNostra Pizza #3569, cranking up the left lane of CSV-5 at a hundred and twenty kilometers. His car is an invisible black lozenge, just a dark place that reflects the blinking of franchise87 signs -- the loglo. A row of orange lights burbles and churns across the front, where the grille would be if this were an air-breathing car. The orange light looks like a gasoline fire. It comes in through people's rear windows, bounces off their rearview mirrors, projects a fiery88 mask across their eyes, reaches into their subconscious89, and unearths90 terrible fears of being pinned, fully91 conscious, under a detonating gas tank, makes them want to pull over and let the Deliverator overtake them in his black chariot of pepperoni fire.
The loglo, overhead, marking out CSV-5 in twin contrails, is a body of electrical light made of innumerable cells, each cell designed in Manhattan by imagineers who make more for designing a single logo than a Deliverator will make in his entire lifetime. Despite their efforts to stand out, they all smear25 together, especially at a hundred and twenty kilometers per hour. Still, it is easy to see CosaNostra Pizza #3569 because of the billboard92, which is wide and tall even by current inflated93 standards. In fact, the squat94 franchise itself looks like nothing more than a low-slung base for the great aramid fiber4 pillars that thrust the billboard up into the trademark95 firmament96. Marca Registrada, baby.
The billboard is a classic, a chestnut97, not a figment of some fleeting98 Mafia promotional campaign. It is a statement, a monument built to endure. Simple and dignified99. It shows Uncle Enzo in one of his spiffy Italian suits. The pinstripes glint and flex100 like sinews. The pocket square is luminous101. His hair is perfect, slicked back with something that never comes off, each strand102 cut off straight and square at the end by Uncle Enzo's cousin, Art the Barber, who runs the second-largest chain of low-end haircutting establishments in the world. Uncle Enzo is standing there, not exactly smiling, an avuncular103 glint in his eye for sure, not posing like a model but standing there like your uncle would, and it says
The Mafia you've got a friend in The Family! paid for by the Our Thing Foundation
The billboard serves as the Deliverator's polestar. He knows that when he gets to the place on CSV-5 where the bottom corner of the billboard is obscured by the pseudo-Gothic stained-glass arches of the local Reverend Wayne's Pearly Gates franchise, it's time for him to get over into the right lanes where the retards104 and the bimbo boxes poke57 along, random105, indecisive, looking at each passing franchise's driveway like they don't know if it's a promise or a threat.
He cuts off a bimbo box -- a family minivan -- veers106 past the Buy 'n' Fly that is next door, and pulls into CosaNostra Pizza #3569. Those big fat contact patches complain, squeal107 a little bit, but they hold on to the patented Fairlanes, Inc. high-traction pavement and guide him into the chute. No other Deliverators are waiting in the chute. That is good, that means high turnover108 for him, fast action, keep moving that 'za. As he scrunches109 to a stop, the electromechanical hatch on the flank of his car is already opening to reveal his empty pizza slots, the door clicking and folding back in on itself like the wing of a beetle110. The slots are waiting. Waiting for hot pizza.
And waiting. The Deliverator honks111 his horn. This is not a nominal112 outcome. Window slides open. That should never happen. You can look at the three-ring binder113 from CosaNostra Pizza University, cross-reference the citation114 for window, chute, dispatcher's, and it will give you all the procedures for that window -- and it should never be opened. Unless something has gone wrong.
The window slides open and -- you sitting down? -- smoke comes out of it. The Deliverator hears a discordant115 beetling116 over the metal hurricane of his sound system and realizes that it is a smoke alarm, coming from inside the franchise.
Mute button on the stereo. Oppressive silence -- his eardrums uncringe -- the window is buzzing with the cry of the smoke alarm. The car idles, waiting. The hatch has been open too long, atmospheric117 pollutants118 are congealing119 on the electrical contacts in the back of the pizza slots, he'll have to clean them ahead of schedule, everything is going exactly the way it shouldn't go in the three-ring binder that spells out all the rhythms of the pizza universe.
Inside, a football-shaped Abkhazian man is running to and fro, holding a three-ring binder open, using his spare tire as a ledge69 to keep it from collapsing120 shut; he runs with the gait of a man carrying an egg on a spoon. He is shouting in the Abkhazian dialect; all the people who run CosaNostra pizza franchises121 in this part of the Valley are Abkhazian immigrants.
It does not look like a serious fire. The Deliverator saw a real fire once, at the Farms of Merryvale, and you couldn't see anything for the smoke. That's all it was: smoke, burbling out of nowhere, occasional flashes of orange light down at the bottom, like heat lightning in tall clouds. This is not that kind of fire. It is the kind of fire that just barely puts out enough smoke to detonate the smoke alarms. And he is losing time for this shit.
The Deliverator holds the horn button down. The Abkhazian manager comes to the window. He is supposed to use the intercom to talk to drivers, he could say anything he wanted and it would be piped straight into the Deliverator's car, but no, he has to talk face to face, like the Deliverator is some kind of fucking ox cart driver. He is red-faced, sweating, his eyes roll as he tries to think of the English words.
"A fire, a little one," he says.
The Deliverator says nothing. Because he knows that all of this is going onto videotape. The tape is being pipelined122, as it happens, to CosaNostra Pizza University, where it will be analyzed123 in a pizza management science laboratory. It will be shown to Pizza University students, perhaps to the very students who will replace this man when he gets fired, as a textbook example of how to screw up your life.
"New employee -- put his dinner in the microwave -- had foil in it -- boom!" the manager says.
Abkhazia had been part of the Soviet124 fucking Union. A new immigrant from Abkhazia trying to operate a microwave was like a deep-sea tube worm doing brain surgery. Where did they get these guys? Weren't there any Americans who could bake a fucking pizza?
"Just give me one pie," the Deliverator says.
Talking about pies snaps the guy into the current century. He gets a grip. He slams the window shut, strangling the relentless125 keening of the smoke alarm. A Nipponese robot arm shoves the pizza out and into the top slot. The hatch folds shut to protect it.
As the Deliverator is pulling out of the chute, building up speed, checking the address that is flashed across his windshield, deciding whether to turn right or left, it happens. His stereo cuts out again -- on command of the onboard system. The cockpit lights go red. Red! A repetitive buzzer126 begins to sound. The LED readout on his windshield, which echoes the one on the pizza box, flashes up: 20:00.
They have just given the Deliverator a twenty-minute-old pizza. He checks the address; it is twelve miles away. The Deliverator lets out an involuntary roar and puts the hammer down. His emotions tell him to go back and kill that manager, get his swords out of the trunk, dive in through the little sliding window like a ninja, track him down through the moiling chaos127 of the microwaved franchise and confront him in a climactic thick-crust apocalypse. But he thinks the same thing when someone cuts him off on the freeway, and he's never done it -- yet.
He can handle this. This is doable. He cranks up the orange warning lights to maximum brilliance128, puts his headlights on autoflash. He overrides129 the warning buzzer, jams the stereo over to Taxiscan, which cruises all the taxi-driver frequencies listening for interesting traffic. Can't understand a fucking word. You could buy tapes, learn-while-you-drive, and learn to speak Taxilinga. It was essential, to get a job in that business. They said it was based on English but not one word in a hundred was recognizable. Still, you could get an idea. If there was trouble on this road, they'd be babbling130 about it in Taxilinga, give him some warning, let him take an alternate route so he wouldn't get
he grips the wheel stuck in traffic his eyes get big, he can feel the pressure driving them back into his skull131 or caught behind a mobile home his bladder is very full and deliver the pizza Oh, God oh, God late
22:06 hangs on the windshield, all he can see, all he can think about is 30:01.
The taxi drivers are buzzing about something. Taxilinga is mellifluous132 babble133 with a few harsh foreign sounds, like butter spiced with broken glass. He keeps hearing "fare." They are always jabbering134 about their fucking fares. Big deal. What happens if you deliver your fare late you don't get as much of a tip? Big deal.
Big slowdown at the intersection of CSV-5 and Oahu Road, per usual, only way to avoid it is to cut through The Mews at Windsor Heights.
TMAWHs all have the same layout. When creating a new Burbclave, TMAWH Development Corporation will chop down any mountain ranges and divert the course of any mighty135 rivers that threaten to interrupt this street plan -- ergonomically designed to encourage driving safety. A Deliverator can go into a Mews at Windsor Heights anywhere from Fairbanks to Yaroslavl to the Shenzhen special economic zone and find his way around.
But once you've delivered a pie to every single house in a TMAWH a few times, you get to know its little secrets. The Deliverator is such a man. He knows that in a standard TMAWH there is only one yard -- one yard -- that prevents you from driving straight in one entrance, across the Burbclave, and out the other. If you are squeamish about driving on grass, it might take you ten minutes to meander136 through TMAWH. But if you have the bails137 to lay tracks across that one yard, you have a straight shot through the center.
The Deliverator knows that yard. He has delivered pizzas there. He has looked at it, scoped it out, memorized the location of the shed and the picnic table, can find them even in the dark -- knows that if it ever came to this, a twenty-three-minute pizza, miles to go, and a slowdown at CSV-5 and Oahu -- he could enter The Mews at Windsor Heights (his electronic delivery-man's visa would raise the gate automatically), scream down Heritage Boulevard, rip the turn onto Strawbridge Place (ignoring the DEAD END sign and the speed limit and the CHILDREN PLAYING ideograms that are strung so liberally throughout TMAWH), thrash the speed bumps with his mighty radials, blast up the driveway of Number 15 Strawbridge Circle, cut a hard left around the backyard shed, careen into the backyard of Number 84 Mayapple Place, avoid its picnic table (tricky), get into their driveway and out onto Mayapple, which takes him to Bellewoode Valley Road, which runs straight to the exit of the Burbclave. TMAWH security police might be waiting for him at the exit, but their STDs, Severe Tire Damage devices, only point one way- they can keep people out, but not keep them in.
This car can go so fucking fast that if a cop took a bite of a doughnut as the Deliverator was entering Heritage Boulevard, he probably wouldn't be able to swallow it until about the time the Deliverator was shrieking138 out onto Oahu. Thunk. And more red lights come up on the windshield: the perimeter139 security of the Deliverator's vehicle has been breached140.
No. It can't be.
Someone is shadowing him. Right off his left flank. A person on a skateboard, rolling down the highway right behind him, just as he is laying in his approach vectors to Heritage Boulevard.
The Deliverator, in his distracted state, has allowed himself to get pooned. As in harpooned141. It is a big round padded electromagnet on the end of an arachnofiber cable. It has just thunked onto the back of the Deliverator's car, and stuck. Ten feet behind him, the owner of this cursed device is surfing, taking him for a ride, skateboarding along like a water skier142 behind a boat.
In the rearview, flashes of orange and blue. The parasite143 is not just a punk out having a good time. It is a businessman making money. The orange and blue coverall, bulging144 all over with sintered armorgel padding, is the uniform of a Kourier. A Kourier from RadiKS, Radikal Kourier Systems. Like a bicycle messenger, but a hundred times more irritating because they don't pedal under their own power -- they just latch145 on and slow you down.
Naturally. The Deliverator was in a hurry, flashing his lights, squealing146 his contact patches. The fastest thing on the road. Naturally, the Kourier would choose him to latch onto.
No need to get rattled147. With the shortcut148 through TMAWH, he will have plenty of time. He passes a slower car in the middle lane, then cuts right in front of him. The Kourier will have to unpoon or else be slammed sideways into the slower vehicle.
Done. The Kourier isn't ten feet behind him anymore -- he is right there, peering in the rear window. Anticipating the maneuver149, the Kourier reeled in his cord, which is attached to a handle with a power reel in it, and is now right on top of the pizza mobile, the front wheel of his skateboard actually underneath150 the Deliverator's rear bumper151.
An orange-and-blue-gloved hand reaches forward, a transparent152 sheet of plastic draped over it, and slaps his driver's side window. The Deliverator has just been stickered. The sticker is a foot across and reads, in big orange block letters, printed backward so that he can read it from the inside.
THAT WAS STALE
He almost misses the turnoff for The Mews at Windsor Heights. He has to jam the brakes, let traffic clear, cut across the curb153 lane to enter the Burbclave. The border post is well lighted, the customs agents ready to frisk all comers -- cavity-search them if they are the wrong kind of people -- but the gate flies open as if by magic as the security system senses that this is a CosaNostra Pizza vehicle, just making a delivery, sir. And as he goes through, the Kourier -- that tick on his ass27 -- waves to the border police! What a prick154! Like he comes in here all the time!
He probably does come in here all the time. Picking up important shit for important TMAWH people, delivering it to other FOQNEs, Franchise-Organized Quasi-National Entities155, getting it through customs. That's what Kouriers do. Still.
He's going too slow, lost all his momentum156, his timing157 is off. Where's the Kourier? Ah, reeled out some line, is following behind again. The Deliverator knows that this jerk is in for a big surprise. Can he stay on his fucking skateboard while he's being hauled over the flattened158 remains159 of some kid's plastic tricycle at a hundred kilometers? We're going to find out.
The Kourier leans back -- the Deliverator can't help watching in the rearview -- leans back like a water skier, pushes off against his board, and swings around beside him, now traveling abreast160 with him up Heritage Boulevard and slap another sticker goes up, this one on the windshield! It says
SMOOTH MOVE, EX-LAX
The Deliverator has heard of these stickers. It takes hours to get them off. Have to take the car into a detailing place, pay trillions of dollars. The Deliverator has two things on his agenda now: He is going to shake this street scum, whatever it takes, and deliver the fucking pizza all in the space of
24:23
the next five minutes and thirty-seven seconds.
This is it -- got to pay more attention to the road -- he swings into the side street, no warning, hoping maybe to whipsaw the Kourier into the street sign on the corner. Doesn't work. The smart ones watch your front tires, they see when you're turning, can't surprise them. Down Strawbridge Place! It seems so long, longer than he remembered -- natural when you're in a hurry. Sees the glint of cars up ahead, cars parked sideways to the road -- these must be parked in the circle. And there's the house. Light blue vinyl clapboard two-story with one-story garage to the side. He makes that driveway the center of his universe, puts the Kourier out of his mind, tries not to think about Uncle Enzo, what he's doing right now -- in the bath, maybe, or taking a crap, or making love to some actress, or teaching Sicilian songs to one of his twenty-six granddaughters.
The slope of the driveway slams his front suspension halfway161 up into the engine compartment, but that's what suspensions are for. He evades the car in the driveway -- must have visitors tonight, didn't remember that these people drove a Lexus -- cuts through the hedge, into the side yard, looks for that shed, that shed he absolutely must not run into it's not there, they took it down next problem, the picnic table in the next yard hang on, there's a fence, when did they put up a fence?
This is no time to put on the brakes. Got to build up some speed, knock it down without blowing all this momentum. It's just a four-foot wooden thing, The fence goes down easy, he loses maybe ten percent of his speed. But strangely, it looked like an old fence, maybe he made a wrong turn somewhere -- he realizes, as he catapults into an empty backyard swimming pool.
If it had been full of water, that wouldn't have been so bad, maybe the car would have been saved, he wouldn't owe CosaNostra Pizza a new car. But no, he does a Stuka into the far wall of the pool, it sounds more like an explosion than a crash. The airbag inflates162, comes back down a second later like a curtain revealing the structure of his new life: he is stuck in a dead car in an empty pool in a TMAWH, the sirens of the Burbclave's security police are approaching, and there's a pizza behind his head, resting there like the blade of a guillotine, with 25:17 on it.
"Where's it going?" someone says. A woman.
He looks up through the distorted frame of the window, now rimmed163 with a fractal pattern of crystallized safety glass. It is the Kourier talking to him. The Kourier is not a man, it is a young woman. A fucking teenaged girl! She is pristine164, unhurt. She has skated right down into the pool, she's now oscillating back and forth165 from one side of the pool to the other, skating up one bank, almost to the lip, turning around, skating down and across and up the opposite side. She is holding her poon in her right hand, the electromagnet reeled up against the handle so it looks like some kind of a strange wide-angle intergalactic death ray. Her chest glitters like a general's with a hundred little ribbons and medals, except each rectangle is not a ribbon, it is a bar code. A bar code with an ID number that gets her into a different business, highway, or FOQNE.
"Where?" she says. "Where's the pizza going?"
He's going to die and she's gamboling.
"White Columns. 5 Oglethorpe Circle," he says.
"I can do that. Open the hatch."
His heart expands to twice its normal size. Tears come to his eyes. He may live.
He presses a button and the hatch opens.
On her next orbit across the bottom of the pool, the Kourier yanks the pizza out of its slot. The Deliverator winces166, imagining the garlicky topping accordioning into the back wall of the box. Then she puts it sideways under her arm. It's more than a Deliverator can stand to watch.
But she'll get it there. Uncle Enzo doesn't have to apologize for ugly, ruined, cold pizzas, just late ones.
"Hey," he says, "take this."
The Deliverator sticks his black-clad arm out the shattered window. A white rectangle glows in the dim backyard light a business card. The Kourier snatches it from him on her next orbit, reads it. It says
Hiro Protagonist167
Last of the Freelance Hackers169
Greatest swordfighter in the world
Stringer, Central Intelligence Corporation.
Specializing in Software related Intel.
(Music, Movies & Microcode.)
On the back is gibberish explaining how he may be reached: a telephone number. A half electronic communications nets. And an address in the Metaverse.
"Stupid name," she says, shoving the card into one of a hundred little pockets on her coverall.
"But you'll never forget it," Hiro says.
"How come I'm delivering pizzas?" "Right."
"Because I'm a freelance hacker. Look, whatever your name is -- I owe you one."
"Name's Y.T.," she says, shoving at the pool a few times with one foot, building up more energy. She flies out of the pool as if catapulted, and she's gone. The smartwheels of her skateboard, many, many spokes56 extending and retracting170 to fit the shape of the ground, take her across the lawn like a pat of butter sledding across hot Teflon.
Hiro, who as of thirty seconds ago is no longer the Deliverator, gets out of the car and pulls his swords out of the trunk, straps171 them around his body, prepares for a breathtaking nighttime escape run across TMAWH territory. The border with Oakwood Estates is only minutes away, he has the layout memorized (sort of), and he knows how these Burbclave cops operate, because he used to be one. So he has a good chance of making it. But it's going to be interesting.
Above him, in the house that owns the pool, a light has come on, and children are looking down at him through their bedroom windows, all warm and fuzzy in their Li'l Crips and Ninja Raft Warrior172 pajamas173, which can either be flameproof or noncarcinogenic but not both at the same time. Dad is emerging from the back door, pulling on a jacket. It is a nice family, a safe family in a house full of light, like the family he was a part of until thirty seconds ago.
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1
elite
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| n.精英阶层；实力集团；adj.杰出的，卓越的 | |
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activated
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| adj. 激活的 动词activate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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charcoal
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| n.炭，木炭，生物炭 | |
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fiber
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| n.纤维，纤维质 | |
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wren
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| n.鹪鹩；英国皇家海军女子服务队成员 | |
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patio
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| n.庭院，平台 | |
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perspiration
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| n.汗水；出汗 | |
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wafts
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| n.空中飘来的气味，一阵气味( waft的名词复数 )；摇转风扇v.吹送，飘送，（使）浮动( waft的第三人称单数 ) | |
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extremities
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| n.端点( extremity的名词复数 )；尽头；手和足；极窘迫的境地 | |
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jello
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| n.凝胶物，果冻 | |
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cargo
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| n.(一只船或一架飞机运载的)货物 | |
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darts
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| n.掷飞镖游戏；飞镖( dart的名词复数 )；急驰，飞奔v.投掷，投射( dart的第三人称单数 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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velocity
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| n.速度，速率 | |
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lighter
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| n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级 | |
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poised
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| a.摆好姿势不动的 | |
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recoil
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| vi.退却，退缩，畏缩 | |
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milky
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| adj.牛奶的，多奶的；乳白色的 | |
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compartment
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| n.卧车包房，隔间；分隔的空间 | |
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demonstrations
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| 证明( demonstration的名词复数 )； 表明； 表达； 游行示威 | |
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asteroid
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| n.小行星；海盘车(动物) | |
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gaping
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| adj.口的；张口的；敞口的；多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 )；张开，张大 | |
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thighs
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| n.股，大腿( thigh的名词复数 )；食用的鸡（等的）腿 | |
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irrelevant
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| adj.不恰当的，无关系的，不相干的 | |
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smeared
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| 弄脏； 玷污； 涂抹； 擦上 | |
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smear
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| v.涂抹；诽谤，玷污；n.污点；诽谤，污蔑 | |
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mellow
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| adj.柔和的；熟透的；v.变柔和；(使)成熟 | |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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lengthy
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| adj.漫长的，冗长的 | |
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tenure
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| n.终身职位；任期；(土地)保有权，保有期 | |
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corporate
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| adj.共同的，全体的；公司的，企业的 | |
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stinking
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| adj.臭的，烂醉的，讨厌的v.散发出恶臭( stink的现在分词 )；发臭味；名声臭；糟透 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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doorways
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| n.门口，门道( doorway的名词复数 ) | |
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brandishing
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| v.挥舞( brandish的现在分词 )；炫耀 | |
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jersey
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| n.运动衫 | |
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analyze
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| vt.分析，解析 (=analyse) | |
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ram
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| (random access memory)随机存取存储器 | |
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distinctive
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| adj.特别的，有特色的，与众不同的 | |
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logic
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| n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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delude
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| vt.欺骗；哄骗 | |
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43
anonymous
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| adj.无名的；匿名的；无特色的 | |
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44
inexplicable
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| adj.无法解释的，难理解的 | |
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45
ethics
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| n.伦理学；伦理观，道德标准 | |
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46
ethic
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| n.道德标准，行为准则 | |
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venial
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| adj.可宽恕的；轻微的 | |
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analysts
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| 分析家，化验员( analyst的名词复数 ) | |
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49
carapace
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| n.（蟹或龟的）甲壳 | |
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50
corrugated
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| adj.波纹的；缩成皱纹的；波纹面的；波纹状的v.（使某物）起皱褶(corrugate的过去式和过去分词) | |
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51
glides
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| n.滑行( glide的名词复数 )；滑音；音渡；过渡音v.滑动( glide的第三人称单数 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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52
interfaces
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| 界面( interface的名词复数 )； 接口（连接两装置的电路，可使数据从一种代码转换成另一种代码）； 交界； 联系 | |
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53
computes
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| v.计算，估算( compute的第三人称单数 ) | |
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54
optimal
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| adj.最适宜的；最理想的；最令人满意的 | |
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profusely
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| ad.abundantly | |
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56
spokes
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| n.（车轮的）辐条( spoke的名词复数 )；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 | |
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57
poke
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| n.刺，戳，袋；vt.拨开，刺，戳；vi.戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢 | |
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58
rumors
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| n.传闻( rumor的名词复数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷v.传闻( rumor的第三人称单数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷 | |
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59
obstreperous
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| adj.喧闹的，不守秩序的 | |
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60
grovel
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| vi.卑躬屈膝，奴颜婢膝 | |
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61
flip
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| vt.快速翻动；轻抛；轻拍；n.轻抛；adj.轻浮的 | |
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62
flipping
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| 讨厌之极的 | |
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63
expectancy
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| n.期望，预期，（根据概率统计求得）预期数额 | |
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digits
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| n.数字( digit的名词复数 )；手指，足趾 | |
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65
bustle
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| v.喧扰地忙乱，匆忙，奔忙；n.忙碌；喧闹 | |
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66
bust
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| vt.打破；vi.爆裂；n.半身像；胸部 | |
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67
undesirables
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| 不受欢迎的人，不良分子( undesirable的名词复数 ) | |
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68
harassed
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| adj. 疲倦的，厌烦的 动词harass的过去式和过去分词 | |
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69
ledge
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| n.壁架，架状突出物；岩架，岩礁 | |
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fabric
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| n.织物，织品，布；构造，结构，组织 | |
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71
gliding
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| v. 滑翔 adj. 滑动的 | |
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72
warped
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| adj.反常的；乖戾的；（变）弯曲的；变形的v.弄弯，变歪( warp的过去式和过去分词 )；使（行为等）不合情理，使乖戾， | |
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73
protocol
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| n.议定书，草约，会谈记录，外交礼节 | |
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74
apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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75
trauma
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| n.外伤，精神创伤 | |
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76
teaspoon
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| n.茶匙 | |
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77
DNA
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| (缩)deoxyribonucleic acid 脱氧核糖核酸 | |
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78
fingerprints
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| n.指纹( fingerprint的名词复数 )v.指纹( fingerprint的第三人称单数 ) | |
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79
bastards
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| 私生子( bastard的名词复数 )； 坏蛋； 讨厌的事物； 麻烦事 （认为别人走运或不幸时说）家伙 | |
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80
applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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81
vista
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| n.远景，深景，展望，回想 | |
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82
intersection
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| n.交集，十字路口，交叉点；[计算机] 交集 | |
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83
sporadic
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| adj.偶尔发生的 [反]regular；分散的 | |
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84
ramp
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| n.暴怒，斜坡，坡道；vi.作恐吓姿势，暴怒，加速；vt.加速 | |
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85
filaments
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| n.（电灯泡的）灯丝( filament的名词复数 )；丝极；细丝；丝状物 | |
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86
enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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87
franchise
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| n.特许，特权，专营权，特许权 | |
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88
fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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subconscious
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| n./adj.潜意识(的)，下意识(的) | |
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90
unearths
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| 发掘或挖出某物( unearth的第三人称单数 )； 搜寻到某事物，发现并披露 | |
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91
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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92
billboard
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| n.布告板，揭示栏，广告牌 | |
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93
inflated
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| adj.（价格）飞涨的；（通货）膨胀的；言过其实的；充了气的v.使充气（于轮胎、气球等）( inflate的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）膨胀；（使）通货膨胀；物价上涨 | |
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94
squat
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| v.蹲坐，蹲下；n.蹲下；adj.矮胖的，粗矮的 | |
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95
trademark
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| n.商标；特征；vt.注册的…商标 | |
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96
firmament
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| n.苍穹；最高层 | |
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chestnut
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| n.栗树，栗子 | |
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fleeting
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| adj.短暂的，飞逝的 | |
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dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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flex
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| n.皮线，花线；vt.弯曲或伸展 | |
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101
luminous
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| adj.发光的，发亮的；光明的；明白易懂的；有启发的 | |
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102
strand
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| vt.使（船）搁浅，使（某人）困于（某地） | |
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103
avuncular
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| adj.叔伯般的，慈祥的 | |
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104
retards
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| 使减速( retard的第三人称单数 )； 妨碍； 阻止； 推迟 | |
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105
random
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| adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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106
veers
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| v.（尤指交通工具）改变方向或路线( veer的第三人称单数 )；（指谈话内容、人的行为或观点）突然改变；（指风） （在北半球按顺时针方向、在南半球按逆时针方向）逐渐转向；风向顺时针转 | |
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107
squeal
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| v.发出长而尖的声音；n.长而尖的声音 | |
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108
turnover
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| n.人员流动率，人事变动率；营业额，成交量 | |
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109
scrunches
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| v.发出喀嚓声( scrunch的第三人称单数 )；蜷缩；压；挤压 | |
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110
beetle
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| n.甲虫，近视眼的人 | |
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111
honks
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| n.雁叫声( honk的名词复数 )；汽车的喇叭声v.（使）发出雁叫似的声音，鸣（喇叭），按（喇叭）( honk的第三人称单数 ) | |
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112
nominal
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| adj.名义上的；(金额、租金)微不足道的 | |
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113
binder
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| n.包扎物，包扎工具；[法]临时契约；粘合剂；装订工 | |
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114
citation
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| n.引用，引证，引用文；传票 | |
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115
discordant
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| adj.不调和的 | |
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beetling
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| adj.突出的，悬垂的v.快速移动( beetle的现在分词 ) | |
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atmospheric
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| adj.大气的，空气的；大气层的；大气所引起的 | |
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pollutants
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| 污染物质（尤指工业废物）( pollutant的名词复数 ) | |
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congealing
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| v.使凝结，冻结( congeal的现在分词 )；（指血）凝结 | |
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collapsing
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| 压扁[平]，毁坏，断裂 | |
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121
franchises
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| n.（尤指选举议员的）选举权( franchise的名词复数 )；参政权；获特许权的商业机构（或服务）；（公司授予的）特许经销权v.给…以特许权，出售特许权( franchise的第三人称单数 ) | |
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122
pipelined
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| [计][修]流水线 | |
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123
analyzed
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| v.分析( analyze的过去式和过去分词 )；分解；解释；对…进行心理分析 | |
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124
Soviet
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| adj.苏联的，苏维埃的；n.苏维埃 | |
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relentless
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| adj.残酷的，不留情的，无怜悯心的 | |
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126
buzzer
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| n.蜂鸣器；汽笛 | |
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127
chaos
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| n.混乱，无秩序 | |
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128
brilliance
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| n.光辉，辉煌，壮丽，（卓越的）才华，才智 | |
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overrides
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| 越控( override的第三人称单数 )； （以权力）否决； 优先于； 比…更重要 | |
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babbling
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| n.胡说，婴儿发出的咿哑声adj.胡说的v.喋喋不休( babble的现在分词 )；作潺潺声（如流水）；含糊不清地说话；泄漏秘密 | |
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skull
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| n.头骨；颅骨 | |
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mellifluous
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| adj.（音乐等）柔美流畅的 | |
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133
babble
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| v.含糊不清地说，胡言乱语地说，儿语 | |
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jabbering
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| v.急切而含混不清地说( jabber的现在分词 )；急促兴奋地说话；结结巴巴 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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meander
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| n.河流的曲折，漫步，迂回旅行；v.缓慢而弯曲地流动，漫谈 | |
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137
bails
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| （法庭命令缴付的）保释金( bail的名词复数 )； 三柱门上的横木 | |
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138
shrieking
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| v.尖叫( shriek的现在分词 ) | |
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perimeter
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| n.周边，周长，周界 | |
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breached
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| 攻破( breach的现在分词 )； 破坏，违反 | |
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harpooned
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| v.鱼镖，鱼叉( harpoon的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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142
skier
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| n.滑雪运动员 | |
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143
parasite
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| n.寄生虫；寄生菌；食客 | |
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bulging
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| 膨胀； 凸出（部）； 打气； 折皱 | |
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latch
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| n.门闩，窗闩；弹簧锁 | |
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squealing
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| v.长声尖叫，用长而尖锐的声音说( squeal的现在分词 ) | |
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rattled
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| 慌乱的，恼火的 | |
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shortcut
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| n.近路，捷径 | |
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maneuver
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| n.策略[pl.]演习；v.(巧妙)控制；用策略 | |
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underneath
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| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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151
bumper
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| n.(汽车上的)保险杠；adj.特大的，丰盛的 | |
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transparent
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| adj.明显的，无疑的；透明的 | |
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153
curb
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| n.场外证券市场，场外交易；vt.制止，抑制 | |
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prick
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| v.刺伤，刺痛，刺孔；n.刺伤，刺痛 | |
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entities
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| 实体对像； 实体，独立存在体，实际存在物( entity的名词复数 ) | |
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156
momentum
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| n.动力，冲力，势头；动量 | |
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157
timing
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| n.时间安排，时间选择 | |
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158
flattened
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| [医]（水）平扁的，弄平的 | |
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159
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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160
abreast
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| adv.并排地；跟上(时代)的步伐，与…并进地 | |
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halfway
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| adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途 | |
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inflates
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| v.使充气（于轮胎、气球等）( inflate的第三人称单数 )；（使）膨胀；（使）通货膨胀；物价上涨 | |
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163
rimmed
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| adj.有边缘的，有框的v.沿…边缘滚动；给…镶边 | |
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pristine
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| adj.原来的，古时的，原始的，纯净的，无垢的 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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166
winces
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| 避开，畏缩( wince的名词复数 ) | |
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167
protagonist
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| n.(思想观念的)倡导者；主角，主人公 | |
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168
hacker
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| n.能盗用或偷改电脑中信息的人，电脑黑客 | |
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169
hackers
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| n.计算机迷( hacker的名词复数 )；私自存取或篡改电脑资料者，电脑“黑客” | |
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170
retracting
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| v.撤回或撤消( retract的现在分词 )；拒绝执行或遵守；缩回；拉回 | |
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171
straps
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| n.带子( strap的名词复数 )；挎带；肩带；背带v.用皮带捆扎( strap的第三人称单数 )；用皮带抽打；包扎；给…打绷带 | |
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172
warrior
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| n.勇士，武士，斗士 | |
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173
pajamas
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| n.睡衣裤 | |
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