But in justice even to sea-cooks let it be said that they have but a hard life of it. Cooking is a hobby of my own, and I feel a positive delight in the preparation of an appetizing dinner, which culminates5 when those for whom it is dressed partake of it with manifest enjoyment6. Between the calm, unhindered task of shore-cooking and the series of hair-breadth escapes from scalding, burning, or spoiling one’s produce that characterizes sea-cooking there is, however, a great gulf8 fixed9, and with a full consciousness of the unromantic character of his trials, I must confess a deep sympathy with the sea-cook in his painful profession.298 Even in the well-ordered kitchens of a great liner, where every modern appliance known to the art is at hand, and where the chief cook is a highly paid professional, each recurring10 meal brings with it much anxiety, and, when the weather is bad, much painful work also. There is no allowance made. Whatever happens, passengers and crew must be fed, although the roasting joints11 may be playing “soccer” in the ovens, the stew-pans toboganning over the stove-tops, and the huge coppers12 leaping out of their glowing sockets13. Let all who have ever gone down to the sea as passengers remember how faithfully the cooks have justified14 the confidence reposed16 in them, and how punctually the varied17 courses have appeared on the fiddle-hampered tables without even a hint as to the series of miracles that have produced them. Still, in large passenger steamers there is a fairly large staff of cooks, unto each of whom is given his allotted18 task, so that the labour, though severe, is not so complicated as it must necessarily be in vessels19 where one unfortunate man must needs be a host in himself. In sailing-ships on long voyages the cook’s berth20 is perhaps the worst on board, for he has to hear the continual growling21 of the men at the brutal22 monotony of the food (which he cannot help), and he must, if he would not be badgered to death, perform the difficult task of keeping on good terms with both ends and the middle of the ship. Under the blistering23 sun of the tropics, or amid the fearful buffeting24 of the Southern seas, he must perform his duties within a space about six feet square, of which his red-hot stove occupies299 nearly half. And, as a pleasant change, he is liable to have the weather door of his galley25 burst in by a tremendous sea, and himself in a devil’s dance of seething26 pots, and all the impedimenta of his business hurled27 out to leeward28.
Necessarily such a service does not appeal strongly to many, and often in English vessels of small size prowling about the world begging for freight, some very queer fellows are met with filling the unenviable post of cook. In the course of a good many years of sea-service I have met with several cooks, each of whom deserves a whole chapter to deal comprehensively with his peculiarities29, but chief among them all must be placed the exceedingly funny fellow designated at the beginning of this sketch30. The Wanderer was a pretty brigantine of about 200 tons register, built and owned in Nova Scotia, and at the time of my joining her as an A.B. was lying in the Millwall Docks outward bound to Sydney, Cape7 Breton, in ballast. She had quite a happy family of a crew, while the skipper was as jolly a Canadian as it was ever my good fortune to meet with. We left the docks in tow of one of the little “jackal” tugs31 that scoot up and down the Thames like terriers after rats, but, owing to the vessel’s small size and wonderful handiness, we dispensed32 with our auxiliary33 just below Gravesend, and worked down the river with our own sails. As soon as the watches were set all hands went to supper, or tea, as it would be called ashore34, and going to the snug35 little galley with my hook-pot for my modicum36 of hot tea, I made the acquaintance of the cook. He was a300 young fellow of about two and twenty, able-looking enough, but now evidently ill at ease. And when, with trembling hand, he baled my tea out of a grimy saucepan with another saucepan lid, I regarded him with some curiosity, fancying that he had the air of a man to whom his surroundings were the most unfamiliar37 possible. Supper consisted of some cold fresh meat and “hard tack38,” so that any deficiency in the cookery was not manifest beyond a decidedly foreign flavour in the tea, making it unlike any beverage39 ever sampled by any of us before. But we were a good-natured crowd, willing to make every allowance for a first performance, and aware that the “Doctor,” as the cook is always called at sea, had only joined on the previous day. Nevertheless, we discussed him in some detail, arriving at the conclusion that by all appearances he would be found unable to boil salt water without burning it, which, according to the sea phrase, marks the nadir40 of culinary incompetence41.
Next morning it was my “gravy42-eye” wheel, the “trick” that is, from four to six a.m. The cook is always called at four a.m. in order to prepare some hot coffee by two bells, five a.m., and, as may be expected, the comforting, awakening43 drink is eagerly looked forward to, although it usually bears but a faint resemblance to the fragrant44 infusion45 known by the same name ashore. Two bells struck, and presently, to my astonishment46, sounds of woe47 arose forward, mingled48 with many angry words. I listened eagerly for some explanation of this sudden breach49 of the peace, but could catch no connected sentence.301 Presently one of my watchmates came aft to relieve me, as the custom is, to get my coffee, and I eagerly questioned him as to the nature of the disturbance50. With a sphinx-like air he took the spokes51 and muttered, “You’ll soon see.” I hastened forward, got my pannikin, and going to the galley held it out for my coffee. The cook had no light, but he silently poured me out my portion, and wondering at his strange air I returned to the fo’c’sle. I sugared my coffee, and put it to my lips, but with a feeling of nausea52 spat53 out the mouthful I had taken, saying, “What in thunder is this awful stuff?” Then the other fellows laughed mirthlessly and loud, saying, “You’d best go’n see ef you kin4 fine out. Be dam’ ’fenny ov us can tell.” I hastened back to the galley and said coaxingly54, “Doctor, you ain’t tryin’ to poison me, are ye?” He looked at me appealingly, and I saw traces of recent tear-tracks adown his smoke-stained cheeks. “Mahn,” he said, “Ah’ve niver dune55 ony cookin’ afore, an’ ah must hev made some awfu’ mistake, but ah’ll sweer ony oo-ath ah dinna ken3 wut’s wrang wi’ the coaphy.” And he wept anew. “For Heaven’s sake, don’t cry, man,” I put in hastily; “you’ll make me sea-sick if you do. Let me have a look at it.” I stepped into his den15, and striking a match explored the pot with a ladle. And I found that he had been stewing56 green unroasted coffee beans. The colour was brought somewhat near that of the usual product by reason of the remains57 of some burnt porridge at the bottom of the saucepan, but the taste was beyond description evil.
This was but a sorry beginning to our voyage, since so much of our comfort depended upon the cooking of our victuals58, and it was well for the unfortunate cook that all hands, with the sole exception of the mate, were of that easy-going temper that submits to any discomfort59 rather than ill-use a fellow-creature. For Jemmie (the quondam cook) was not only ignorant of the most elementary acquaintance with cookery—he was also unclean and unhandy to the uttermost imaginable possibility of those bad qualities. Yet he did not suffer any grievous bodily harm until an excess of new-found zeal60 brought him one day into contact with the mate. As the only way in which we could hope to get anything beyond hard tack to eat, we had all taken turns to cook our own meals. Even the skipper, with many uncouth61, unmeant threats, used to visit the galley and try his hand, while the trembling Jemmie stood behind him watching with eager eyes the mysterious operations going on. One morning the skipper fancied some flap-jacks, a sort of primitive62 pancake of plain flour and water fried in grease, and eaten with molasses. He had hardly finished a platter full and borne it aft, when Jemmie seized the bowl, and mixing some more flour, proceeded to try his hand. He managed after several failures to turn out half a dozen quite creditable-looking patches of fried batter63, and intoxicated64 with his success rushed aft with them to where the mate and his watch were busy scrubbing the poop. Timidly approaching the energetic officer, Jemmy said, “Wou’d ye like a flap-jack, sir? they’re nice an’ hot.”303 For one fearful moment the mate glared at the offender65, then as the full area of the enormity enveloped66 him he uttered a hyena-like howl and fell upon him. Snatching the flap-jacks from his nerveless grasp, the mate overthrew67 him, and frantically68 burnished69 his face with the smoking dough70, holding him down on the deck by his hair the while. Then when the last fragments had been duly spread over Jemmie’s shining visage, the mate dragged him to the break of the poop, and with many kicks hurled him forward to make more flap-jacks should he feel moved so to do.
So his education proceeded, until one day he felt competent to essay the making of some soup for us forward. By the time his preparations were complete he was a gruesome object, and withal so weary that he sat down on the coal-locker and went fast asleep. He awoke just before the time the soup was due to be eaten to find it as he left it, the fire having gone out. In a terrible fright he rushed aft and smuggled71 a tin of preserved meat forward—a high crime and misdemeanour—since that was only kept in case of bad weather rendering72 cooking impossible. However, he succeeded in stealing it, but when he had got it he was little better off. For he didn’t know how to shell it, as it were, how to get the meat out of the tin. I happened to be passing by the galley-door at the time, and saw him with the tin lying on its side before him, while he was insanely chopping at it with a broad axe73, all unheeding the spray of fat and gravy which flew around at each swashing blow. I gave him such assistance as I could, and took the opportunity thus afforded304 of asking him however he came to offer himself as a ship’s cook. I learned then that his previous sea experience had been limited to one trip to Iceland as a bedroom steward74 on board a passenger steamer from Leith—that having come to London to seek his fortune, he had foregathered with an old friend of his father’s, who had obtained for him this berth, and who, in answer to his timid demur75 as to his being able to do what should be required of him, stormed at him so vigorously for what he called his “dam’ cowardice” that he took the berth, and resigned himself to his fate, and ours. His fates were kind to him in that he fell among easy-going fellows, for I shudder76 to think what would have befallen him in the average “Blue-nose” or Yankee. A description of it would certainly have been unprintable.
Yet, like so many other people ashore and afloat, he was ungrateful for the many ways in which we, the sailors, helped and shielded him, and one day when I found him laboriously77 drawing water from our only wooden tank by the quarter pint78 for the purpose of washing potatoes, in answer to my remonstrance79 he was exceeding jocose80 and saucy81, even going so far as to suggest that while my advice was doubtless well meant, it irked him to hear, and I had better attend to my own business. Now, to use fresh water where salt water will serve the same purpose is at sea the unpardonable sin; and where (as in our case) a few days’ difference in the length of the passage might see us all gasping82 for a drink, it merits a severe punishment. So I was indignant, but swallowed my resentment83 as I305 saw the mate coming down from aloft with his eyes fixed upon the criminal.
I must draw a veil over what followed, only adding that by the time the cook had recovered from his injuries we were in port, and, with the luck of the incompetent84, no sooner had he been bundled ashore than he obtained a good berth in an hotel at about treble the salary he would ever earn. But we held a praise-meeting over our happy release.
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1
concession
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| n.让步，妥协；特许(权) | |
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deity
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| n.神，神性；被奉若神明的人(或物) | |
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ken
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| n.视野，知识领域 | |
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kin
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| n.家族，亲属，血缘关系；adj.亲属关系的，同类的 | |
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culminates
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| v.达到极点( culminate的第三人称单数 ) | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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7
cape
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| n.海角，岬；披肩，短披风 | |
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gulf
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| n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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recurring
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| adj.往复的，再次发生的 | |
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joints
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| 接头( joint的名词复数 )； 关节； 公共场所（尤指价格低廉的饮食和娱乐场所） （非正式）； 一块烤肉 （英式英语） | |
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coppers
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| 铜( copper的名词复数 )； 铜币 | |
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sockets
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| n.套接字，使应用程序能够读写与收发通讯协定(protocol)与资料的程序( Socket的名词复数 )；孔( socket的名词复数 )；（电器上的）插口；托座；凹穴 | |
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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den
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| n.兽穴；秘密地方；安静的小房间，私室 | |
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reposed
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| v.将（手臂等）靠在某人（某物）上( repose的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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varied
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| adj.多样的，多变化的 | |
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allotted
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| 分配，拨给，摊派( allot的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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vessels
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| n.血管( vessel的名词复数 )；船；容器；（具有特殊品质或接受特殊品质的）人 | |
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berth
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| n.卧铺，停泊地，锚位；v.使停泊 | |
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growling
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| n.吠声, 咆哮声 v.怒吠, 咆哮, 吼 | |
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brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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blistering
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| adj.酷热的；猛烈的；使起疱的；可恶的v.起水疱；起气泡；使受暴晒n.[涂料] 起泡 | |
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buffeting
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| 振动 | |
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galley
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| n.（飞机或船上的）厨房单层甲板大帆船；军舰舰长用的大划艇； | |
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seething
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| 沸腾的，火热的 | |
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hurled
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| v.猛投，用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 )；大声叫骂 | |
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leeward
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| adj.背风的；下风的 | |
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peculiarities
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| n. 特质, 特性, 怪癖, 古怪 | |
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sketch
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| n.草图；梗概；素描；v.素描；概述 | |
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31
tugs
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| n.猛拉( tug的名词复数 )；猛拖；拖船v.用力拉，使劲拉，猛扯( tug的第三人称单数 ) | |
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32
dispensed
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| v.分配( dispense的过去式和过去分词 )；施与；配（药） | |
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auxiliary
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| adj.辅助的，备用的 | |
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ashore
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| adv.在(向)岸上，上岸 | |
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snug
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| adj.温暖舒适的，合身的，安全的；v.使整洁干净，舒适地依靠，紧贴；n.（英）酒吧里的私房 | |
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modicum
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| n.少量，一小份 | |
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unfamiliar
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| adj.陌生的，不熟悉的 | |
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tack
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| n.大头钉；假缝，粗缝 | |
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39
beverage
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| n.(水，酒等之外的)饮料 | |
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nadir
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| n.最低点，无底 | |
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incompetence
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| n.不胜任，不称职 | |
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42
gravy
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| n.肉汁；轻易得来的钱，外快 | |
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43
awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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44
fragrant
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| adj.芬香的，馥郁的，愉快的 | |
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infusion
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| n.灌输 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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woe
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| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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48
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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49
breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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disturbance
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| n.动乱，骚动；打扰，干扰；(身心)失调 | |
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51
spokes
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| n.（车轮的）辐条( spoke的名词复数 )；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 | |
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52
nausea
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| n.作呕，恶心；极端的憎恶(或厌恶) | |
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53
spat
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| n.口角，掌击；v.发出呼噜呼噜声 | |
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54
coaxingly
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| adv. 以巧言诱哄，以甘言哄骗 | |
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55
dune
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| n.(由风吹积而成的)沙丘 | |
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56
stewing
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| 炖 | |
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57
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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victuals
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| n.食物；食品 | |
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59
discomfort
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| n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便 | |
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zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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uncouth
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| adj.无教养的，粗鲁的 | |
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primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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63
batter
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| v.接连重击；磨损；n.牛奶面糊；击球员 | |
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64
intoxicated
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| 喝醉的，极其兴奋的 | |
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offender
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| n.冒犯者，违反者，犯罪者 | |
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enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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overthrew
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| overthrow的过去式 | |
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68
frantically
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| ad.发狂地, 发疯地 | |
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69
burnished
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| adj.抛光的，光亮的v.擦亮（金属等），磨光( burnish的过去式和过去分词 )；被擦亮，磨光 | |
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70
dough
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| n.生面团；钱，现款 | |
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71
smuggled
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| 水货 | |
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rendering
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| n.表现，描写 | |
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axe
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| n.斧子；v.用斧头砍，削减 | |
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74
steward
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| n.乘务员，服务员；看管人；膳食管理员 | |
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75
demur
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| v．表示异议，反对 | |
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76
shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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laboriously
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| adv.艰苦地；费力地；辛勤地；（文体等）佶屈聱牙地 | |
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78
pint
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| n.品脱 | |
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79
remonstrance
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| n抗议，抱怨 | |
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80
jocose
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| adj.开玩笑的，滑稽的 | |
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81
saucy
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| adj.无礼的；俊俏的；活泼的 | |
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82
gasping
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| adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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83
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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84
incompetent
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| adj.无能力的，不能胜任的 | |
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