Chapter II AGREEMENT IMPOSSIBLE

 "And the first who says the contrary—"

 

"Indeed! But we will say the contrary so long as there is a place to say it in!"

 

"And in spite of your threats—"

 

"Mind what you are saying, Bat Fynn!"

 

"Mind what you are saying, Uncle Prudent¹!"

 

"I maintain that the screw ought to be behind!"

 

"And so do we! And so do we!" replied half a hundred voices confounded in one.

 

"No! It ought to be in front!" shouted Phil Evans.

 

"In front!" roared fifty other voices, with a vigor² in no whit³ less remarkable⁴.

 

"We shall never agree!"

 

"Never! Never!"

 

"Then what is the use of a dispute?"

 

"It is not a dispute! It is a discussion!"

 

One would not have thought so to listen to the taunts⁵, objurgations, and vociferations which filled the lecture room for a good quarter of an hour.

 

The room was one of the largest in the Weldon Institute, the well-known club in Walnut⁶ Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, U. S. A. The evening before there had been an election of a lamplighter, occasioning many public manifestations⁷, noisy meetings, and even interchanges of blows, resulting in an effervescence which had not yet subsided⁸, and which would account for some of the excitement just exhibited by the members of the Weldon Institute. For this was merely a meeting of balloonists, discussing the burning question of the direction of balloons.

 

In this great saloon there were struggling, pushing, gesticulating, shouting, arguing, disputing, a hundred balloonists, all with their hats on, under the authority of a president, assisted by a secretary and treasurer⁹. They were not engineers by profession, but simply amateurs of all that appertained to aerostatics, and they were amateurs in a fury, and especially foes¹⁰ of those who would oppose to aerostats "apparatuses¹¹ heavier than the air," flying machines, aerial ships, or what not. That these people might one day discover the method of guiding balloons is possible. There could be no doubt that their president had considerable difficulty in guiding them.

 

This president, well known in Philadelphia, was the famous Uncle Prudent, Prudent being his family name. There is nothing surprising in America in the qualificative uncle, for you can there be uncle without having either nephew or niece. There they speak of uncle as in other places they speak of father, though the father may have had no children.

 

Uncle Prudent was a personage of consideration, and in spite of his name was well known for his audacity¹². He was very rich, and that is no drawback even in the United States; and how could it be otherwise when he owned the greater part of the shares in Niagara Falls? A society of engineers had just been founded at Buffalo¹³ for working the cataract¹⁴. It seemed to be an excellent speculation¹⁵. The seven thousand five hundred cubic meters that pass over Niagara in a second would produce seven millions of horsepower. This enormous power, distributed amongst all the workshops within a radius¹⁶ of three hundred miles, would return an annual income of three hundred million dollars, of which the greater part would find its way into the pocket of Uncle Prudent. He was a bachelor, he lived quietly, and for his only servant had his valet Frycollin, who was hardly worthy¹⁷ of being the servant to so audacious a master.

 

Uncle Prudent was rich, and therefore he had friends, as was natural; but he also had enemies, although he was president of the club—among others all those who envied his position. Amongst his bitterest foes we may mention the secretary of the Weldon Institute.

 

This was Phil Evans, who was also very rich, being the manager of the Wheelton Watch Company, an important manufactory, which makes every day five hundred movements equal in every respect to the best Swiss workmanship. Phil Evans would have passed for one of the happiest men in the world, and even in the United States, if it had not been for Uncle Prudent. Like him he was in his forty-sixth year; like him of invariable health; like him of undoubted boldness. They were two men made to understand each other thoroughly¹⁸, but they did not, for both were of extreme violence of character. Uncle Prudent was furiously hot; Phil Evans was abnormally cool.

 

And why had not Phil Evans been elected president of the club? The votes were exactly divided between Uncle Prudent and him. Twenty times there had been a scrutiny¹⁹, and twenty times the majority had not declared for either one or the other. The position was embarrassing, and it might have lasted for the lifetime of the candidates.

 

One of the members of the club then proposed a way out of the difficulty. This was Jem Chip, the treasurer of the Weldon Institute. Chip was a confirmed vegetarian²⁰, a proscriber of all animal nourishment²¹, of all fermented²² liquors, half a Mussulman, half a Brahman. On this occasion Jem Chip was supported by another member of the club, William T. Forbes, the manager of a large factory where they made glucose²³ by treating rags with sulphuric acid. A man of good standing²⁴ was this William T. Forbes, the father of two charming girls—Miss Dorothy, called Doll, and Miss Martha, called Mat, who gave the tone to the best society in Philadelphia.

 

It followed, then, on the proposition of Jem Chip, supported by William T. Forbes and others, that it was decided²⁵ to elect the president "on the center point."

 

This mode of election can be applied²⁶ in all cases when it is desired to elect the most worthy; and a number of Americans of high intelligence are already thinking of employing it in the nomination²⁷ of the President of the Republic of the United States.

 

On two boards of perfect whiteness a black line is traced. The length of each of these lines is mathematically the same, for they have been determined²⁸ with as much accuracy as the base of the first triangle in a trigonometrical survey. That done, the two boards were erected²⁹ on the same day in the center of the conference room, and the two candidates, each armed with a fine needle, marched towards the board that had fallen to his lot. The man who planted his needle nearest the center of the line would be proclaimed President of the Weldon Institute.

 

The operation must be done at once—no guide marks or trial shots allowed; nothing but sureness of eye. The man must have a compass in his eye, as the saying goes; that was all.

 

Uncle Prudent stuck in his needle at the same moment as Phil Evans did his. Then there began the measurement to discover which of the two competitors had most nearly approached the center.

 

Wonderful! Such had been the precision of the shots that the measures gave no appreciable³⁰ difference. If they were not exactly in the mathematical center of the line, the distance between the needles was so small as to be invisible to the naked eye.

 

The meeting was much embarrassed.

 

Fortunately one of the members, Truck Milnor, insisted that the measurements should be remade by means of a rule graduated by the micrometrical machine of M. Perreaux, which can divide a millimeter into fifteen-hundredths of a millimeter with a diamond splinter, was brought to bear on the lines; and on reading the divisions through a microscope the following were the results: Uncle Prudent had approached the center within less than six fifteenth-hundredths of a millimeter. Phil Evans was within nine fifteen-hundredths.

 

And that is why Phil Evans was only secretary of the Weldon Institute, whereas Uncle Prudent was president. A difference of three fifteen-hundredths of a millimeter! And on account of it Phil Evans vowed³¹ against Uncle Prudent one of those hatreds³² which are none the less fierce for being latent.

1 prudent   

adj.谨慎的，有远见的，精打细算的

参考例句：

• A prudent traveller never disparages his own country.聪明的旅行者从不贬低自己的国家。
• You must school yourself to be modest and prudent.你要学会谦虚谨慎。

2 vigor   

n.活力，精力，元气

参考例句：

• The choir sang the words out with great vigor.合唱团以极大的热情唱出了歌词。
• She didn't want to be reminded of her beauty or her former vigor.现在，她不愿人们提起她昔日的美丽和以前的精力充沛。

3 whit   

n.一点，丝毫

参考例句：

• There's not a whit of truth in the statement.这声明里没有丝毫的真实性。
• He did not seem a whit concerned.他看来毫不在乎。

4 remarkable   

adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的

参考例句：

• She has made remarkable headway in her writing skills.她在写作技巧方面有了长足进步。
• These cars are remarkable for the quietness of their engines.这些汽车因发动机没有噪音而不同凡响。

5 taunts   

嘲弄的言语，嘲笑，奚落( taunt的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• He had to endure the racist taunts of the crowd. 他不得不忍受那群人种族歧视的奚落。
• He had to endure the taunts of his successful rival. 他不得不忍受成功了的对手的讥笑。

6 walnut   

n.胡桃，胡桃木，胡桃色，茶色

参考例句：

• Walnut is a local specialty here.核桃是此地的土特产。
• The stool comes in several sizes in walnut or mahogany.凳子有几种尺寸，材质分胡桃木和红木两种。

7 manifestations   

n.表示，显示（manifestation的复数形式）

参考例句：

• These were manifestations of the darker side of his character. 这些是他性格阴暗面的表现。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• To be wordly-wise and play safe is one of the manifestations of liberalism. 明哲保身是自由主义的表现之一。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

8 subsided   

v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上

参考例句：

• After the heavy rains part of the road subsided. 大雨过后，部分公路塌陷了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• By evening the storm had subsided and all was quiet again. 傍晚， 暴风雨已经过去，四周开始沉寂下来。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

9 treasurer   

n.司库，财务主管

参考例句：

• Mr. Smith was succeeded by Mrs.Jones as treasurer.琼斯夫人继史密斯先生任会计。
• The treasurer was arrested for trying to manipulate the company's financial records.财务主管由于试图窜改公司财政帐目而被拘留。

10 foes   

敌人，仇敌( foe的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• They steadily pushed their foes before them. 他们不停地追击敌人。
• She had fought many battles, vanquished many foes. 她身经百战，挫败过很多对手。

11 apparatuses   

n.器械； 装置； 设备； 仪器

参考例句：

• That magazine covers all kinds of heating apparatuses. 那本杂志论及所有暖气装置。 来自辞典例句
• Apparatuses and methods for preparing sol-gel solutions are provided. 提供制备溶胶-凝胶溶液的装置和方法。 来自互联网

12 audacity   

n.大胆，卤莽，无礼

参考例句：

• He had the audacity to ask for an increase in salary.他竟然厚着脸皮要求增加薪水。
• He had the audacity to pick pockets in broad daylight.他竟敢在光天化日之下掏包。

13 buffalo   

n.(北美)野牛；(亚洲)水牛

参考例句：

• Asian buffalo isn't as wild as that of America's. 亚洲水牛比美洲水牛温顺些。
• The boots are made of buffalo hide. 这双靴子是由水牛皮制成的。

14 cataract   

n.大瀑布，奔流，洪水，白内障

参考例句：

• He is an elderly gentleman who had had a cataract operation.他是一位曾经动过白内障手术的老人。
• The way is blocked by the tall cataract.高悬的大瀑布挡住了去路。

15 speculation   

n.思索，沉思；猜测；投机

参考例句：

• Her mind is occupied with speculation.她的头脑忙于思考。
• There is widespread speculation that he is going to resign.人们普遍推测他要辞职。

16 radius   

n.半径，半径范围；有效航程，范围，界限

参考例句：

• He has visited every shop within a radius of two miles.周围两英里以内的店铺他都去过。
• We are measuring the radius of the circle.我们正在测量圆的半径。

17 worthy   

adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。

18 thoroughly   

adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地

参考例句：

• The soil must be thoroughly turned over before planting.一定要先把土地深翻一遍再下种。
• The soldiers have been thoroughly instructed in the care of their weapons.士兵们都系统地接受过保护武器的训练。

19 scrutiny   

n.详细检查，仔细观察

参考例句：

• His work looks all right,but it will not bear scrutiny.他的工作似乎很好，但是经不起仔细检查。
• Few wives in their forties can weather such a scrutiny.很少年过四十的妻子经得起这么仔细的观察。

20 vegetarian   

n.素食者；adj.素食的

参考例句：

• She got used gradually to the vegetarian diet.她逐渐习惯吃素食。
• I didn't realize you were a vegetarian.我不知道你是个素食者。

21 nourishment   

n.食物，营养品；营养情况

参考例句：

• Lack of proper nourishment reduces their power to resist disease.营养不良降低了他们抵抗疾病的能力。
• He ventured that plants draw part of their nourishment from the air.他大胆提出植物从空气中吸收部分养分的观点。

22 fermented   

v.（使）发酵( ferment的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）激动；骚动；骚扰

参考例句：

• When wine is fermented, it gives off gas. 酒发酵时发出气泡。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• His speeches fermented trouble among the workers. 他的演讲在工人中引起骚动。 来自辞典例句

23 glucose   

n.葡萄糖

参考例句：

• I gave him an extra dose of glucose to pep him up.我给他多注射了一剂葡萄糖以增强他的活力。
• The doctor injected glucose into his patient's veins.医生将葡萄糖注入病人的静脉。

24 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

25 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

26 applied   

adj.应用的；v.应用，适用

参考例句：

• She plans to take a course in applied linguistics.她打算学习应用语言学课程。
• This cream is best applied to the face at night.这种乳霜最好晚上擦脸用。

27 nomination   

n.提名，任命，提名权

参考例句：

• John is favourite to get the nomination for club president.约翰最有希望被提名为俱乐部主席。
• Few people pronounced for his nomination.很少人表示赞成他的提名。

28 determined   

adj.坚定的；有决心的

参考例句：

• I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
• He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。

29 ERECTED   

adj. 直立的，竖立的，笔直的 vt. 使 ... 直立，建立

参考例句：

• A monument to him was erected in St Paul's Cathedral. 在圣保罗大教堂为他修了一座纪念碑。
• A monument was erected to the memory of that great scientist. 树立了一块纪念碑纪念那位伟大的科学家。

30 appreciable   

adj.明显的，可见的，可估量的，可觉察的

参考例句：

• There is no appreciable distinction between the twins.在这对孪生子之间看不出有什么明显的差别。
• We bought an appreciable piece of property.我们买下的资产有增值的潜力。

31 vowed   

起誓，发誓（vow的过去式与过去分词形式）

参考例句：

• He vowed quite solemnly that he would carry out his promise. 他非常庄严地发誓要实现他的诺言。
• I vowed to do more of the cooking myself. 我发誓自己要多动手做饭。

32 hatreds   

n.仇恨，憎恶( hatred的名词复数 )；厌恶的事

参考例句：

• He had more enimies and hatreds than anyone could easily guess from his thoughtful expression. 从他的思想表达方式难以被人猜透来看，他的敌人和仇家是不会多的。 来自辞典例句
• All the old and recent hatreds come to his mind. 旧恨新仇一起涌上他的心头。 来自互联网