IN the evening I started, and drove out to sea before a gentle wind from the southwest, slowly, steadily1; and the island grew smaller and smaller, and the lank2 spire3 of smoke dwindled4 to a finer and finer line against the hot sunset. The ocean rose up around me, hiding that low, dark patch from my eyes. The daylight, the trailing glory of the sun, went streaming out of the sky, was drawn5 aside like some luminous6 curtain, and at last I looked into the blue gulf7 of immensity which the sunshine hides, and saw the floating hosts of the stars. The sea was silent, the sky was silent. I was alone with the night and silence.
So I drifted for three days, eating and drinking sparingly, and meditating8 upon all that had happened to me,--not desiring very greatly then to see men again. One unclean rag was about me, my hair a black tangle9: no doubt my discoverers thought me a madman.
It is strange, but I felt no desire to return to mankind. I was only glad to be quit of the foulness10 of the Beast People. And on the third day I was picked up by a brig from Apia to San Francisco. Neither the captain nor the mate would believe my story, judging that solitude11 and danger had made me mad; and fearing their opinion might be that of others, I refrained from telling my adventure further, and professed12 to recall nothing that had happened to me between the loss of the "Lady Vain" and the time when I was picked up again,--the space of a year.
I had to act with the utmost circumspection13 to save myself from the suspicion of insanity14. My memory of the Law, of the two dead sailors, of the ambuscades of the darkness, of the body in the canebrake, haunted me; and, unnatural15 as it seems, with my return to mankind came, instead of that confidence and sympathy I had expected, a strange enhancement of the uncertainty16 and dread17 I had experienced during my stay upon the island. No one would believe me; I was almost as queer to men as I had been to the Beast People. I may have caught something of the natural wildness of my companions. They say that terror is a disease, and anyhow I can witness that for several years now a restless fear has dwelt in my mind,--such a restless fear as a half-tamed lion cub18 may feel.
My trouble took the strangest form. I could not persuade myself that the men and women I met were not also another Beast People, animals half wrought19 into the outward image of human souls, and that they would presently begin to revert,--to show first this bestial20 mark and then that. But I have confided21 my case to a strangely able man,--a man who had known Moreau, and seemed half to credit my story; a mental specialist,--and he has helped me mightily22, though I do not expect that the terror of that island will ever altogether leave me. At most times it lies far in the back of my mind, a mere23 distant cloud, a memory, and a faint distrust; but there are times when the little cloud spreads until it obscures the whole sky. Then I look about me at my fellow-men; and I go in fear. I see faces, keen and bright; others dull or dangerous; others, unsteady, insincere,--none that have the calm authority of a reasonable soul. I feel as though the animal was surging up through them; that presently the degradation24 of the Islanders will be played over again on a larger scale. I know this is an illusion; that these seeming men and women about me are indeed men and women,--men and women for ever, perfectly25 reasonable creatures, full of human desires and tender solicitude26, emancipated27 from instinct and the slaves of no fantastic Law,--beings altogether different from the Beast Folk. Yet I shrink from them, from their curious glances, their inquiries28 and assistance, and long to be away from them and alone. For that reason I live near the broad free downland, and can escape thither29 when this shadow is over my soul; and very sweet is the empty downland then, under the wind-swept sky.
When I lived in London the horror was well-nigh insupportable. I could not get away from men: their voices came through windows; locked doors were flimsy safeguards. I would go out into the streets to fight with my delusion30, and prowling women would mew after me; furtive31, craving32 men glance jealously at me; weary, pale workers go coughing by me with tired eyes and eager paces, like wounded deer dripping blood; old people, bent33 and dull, pass murmuring to themselves; and, all unheeding, a ragged34 tail of gibing35 children. Then I would turn aside into some chapel,--and even there, such was my disturbance36, it seemed that the preacher gibbered "Big Thinks," even as the Ape-man had done; or into some library, and there the intent faces over the books seemed but patient creatures waiting for prey37. Particularly nauseous were the blank, expressionless faces of people in trains and omnibuses; they seemed no more my fellow-creatures than dead bodies would be, so that I did not dare to travel unless I was assured of being alone. And even it seemed that I too was not a reasonable creature, but only an animal tormented38 with some strange disorder39 in its brain which sent it to wander alone, like a sheep stricken with gid.
This is a mood, however, that comes to me now, I thank God, more rarely. I have withdrawn40 myself from the confusion of cities and multitudes, and spend my days surrounded by wise books,--bright windows in this life of ours, lit by the shining souls of men. I see few strangers, and have but a small household. My days I devote to reading and to experiments in chemistry, and I spend many of the clear nights in the study of astronomy. There is--though I do not know how there is or why there is--a sense of infinite peace and protection in the glittering hosts of heaven. There it must be, I think, in the vast and eternal laws of matter, and not in the daily cares and sins and troubles of men, that whatever is more than animal within us must find its solace41 and its hope. I hope, or I could not live.
And so, in hope and solitude, my story ends.
EDWARD PRENDICK.
NOTE. The substance of the chapter entitled "Doctor Moreau explains," which contains the essential idea of the story, appeared as a middle article in the "Saturday Review" in January, 1895. This is the only portion of this story that has been previously42 published, and it has been entirely43 recast to adapt it to the narrative44 form.
The End
1 steadily | |
adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
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2 lank | |
adj.瘦削的;稀疏的 | |
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3 spire | |
n.(教堂)尖顶,尖塔,高点 | |
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4 dwindled | |
v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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5 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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6 luminous | |
adj.发光的,发亮的;光明的;明白易懂的;有启发的 | |
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7 gulf | |
n.海湾;深渊,鸿沟;分歧,隔阂 | |
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8 meditating | |
a.沉思的,冥想的 | |
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9 tangle | |
n.纠缠;缠结;混乱;v.(使)缠绕;变乱 | |
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10 foulness | |
n. 纠缠, 卑鄙 | |
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11 solitude | |
n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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12 professed | |
公开声称的,伪称的,已立誓信教的 | |
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13 circumspection | |
n.细心,慎重 | |
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14 insanity | |
n.疯狂,精神错乱;极端的愚蠢,荒唐 | |
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15 unnatural | |
adj.不自然的;反常的 | |
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16 uncertainty | |
n.易变,靠不住,不确知,不确定的事物 | |
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17 dread | |
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
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18 cub | |
n.幼兽,年轻无经验的人 | |
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19 wrought | |
v.引起;以…原料制作;运转;adj.制造的 | |
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20 bestial | |
adj.残忍的;野蛮的 | |
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21 confided | |
v.吐露(秘密,心事等)( confide的过去式和过去分词 );(向某人)吐露(隐私、秘密等) | |
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22 mightily | |
ad.强烈地;非常地 | |
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23 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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24 degradation | |
n.降级;低落;退化;陵削;降解;衰变 | |
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25 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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26 solicitude | |
n.焦虑 | |
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27 emancipated | |
adj.被解放的,不受约束的v.解放某人(尤指摆脱政治、法律或社会的束缚)( emancipate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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28 inquiries | |
n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 );疑问;探究;打听 | |
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29 thither | |
adv.向那里;adj.在那边的,对岸的 | |
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30 delusion | |
n.谬见,欺骗,幻觉,迷惑 | |
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31 furtive | |
adj.鬼鬼崇崇的,偷偷摸摸的 | |
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32 craving | |
n.渴望,热望 | |
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33 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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34 ragged | |
adj.衣衫褴褛的,粗糙的,刺耳的 | |
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35 gibing | |
adj.讥刺的,嘲弄的v.嘲笑,嘲弄( gibe的现在分词 ) | |
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36 disturbance | |
n.动乱,骚动;打扰,干扰;(身心)失调 | |
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37 prey | |
n.被掠食者,牺牲者,掠食;v.捕食,掠夺,折磨 | |
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38 tormented | |
饱受折磨的 | |
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39 disorder | |
n.紊乱,混乱;骚动,骚乱;疾病,失调 | |
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40 withdrawn | |
vt.收回;使退出;vi.撤退,退出 | |
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41 solace | |
n.安慰;v.使快乐;vt.安慰(物),缓和 | |
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42 previously | |
adv.以前,先前(地) | |
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43 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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44 narrative | |
n.叙述,故事;adj.叙事的,故事体的 | |
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