"O bella Libertà! O bella!"—
rocked my fortunate cradle. She gave me a little flag for toy, instead of coral-and-bells; and filled my virginal ear with the classic strains of "John Brown's Body," ere yet I had heard a secular4 lullaby. She it was who dyed my infant mind in her own tri-color, and whose exciting companionship roused me surprisingly early into wide-awake consciousness and speculation5. In laughing recognition of her old, old favor, these confused twilight6 memories (Impressions of America, as it were, ab ovo) may be recorded.
A young person some twenty-four years my senior, for whom I had a violent liking7, had preceded me "to the warres." I saw his ship sail away, at that exceedingly tender age when a human being is involved in mummy-like cerements, and cannot properly be said to exist at all. In the winter of 1864—he had been away during that long interval—I enlisted8 and went South to visit him. I had thrived at home through the distended9 agony of those days. I had a general idea that my cue in life was to fight; and I would smile endearingly over a colored plate of the Battle of Trafalgar, whose smoky glare, and indications of turmoil10 and slaughter11, were supremely12 to my mind. Red, however, by some process of mistaken zeal13, I came to regard as inimical to the party to-119- which, as catechumen, I belonged. I had not then a very copious14 vocabulary at my command; but I soon indicated my convictions by screeching15 like a young eagle at the most innocent auction-flag that ever floated out of a Boston door of a sunny morning, or flushing with unmistakable wrath16 at a casual visitor who bore a trace of that outrageous17 color in anything worn or carried. It was long, indeed, before I was persuaded to transfer my misguided sentiment to A.D. 1775, and to believe that the neighboring rebel had no especial affinity18 with the hue19 in question. Prior to my memorable20 journey to Virginia, I had spent a few months in camp the year before. A slight epidemic21 ran the rounds of the tents, and took in ours. The only recollection which survives is a vivid one of neighboring trees, and a distant hill, visible as I lay facing the narrow door; a view which included the ever-flitting figure of the sentinel, his steady, silent tread, musket22 on shoulder, and the kind rustic23 face in profile, which turned, ever and anon, smilingly about, like the moon at her merriest. That welcome shadow which fell before him in the broad light was cut down in the ranks at Malvern Hill.
But my earliest real experiences began in '64. Hostilities24 had been some weeks suspended; yet the headquarters of a Southern regiment25 lay within gun-shot, and thither26 my delighted terrors reverted27. Was Jeff Davis lurking28 on the other bank of the stream? Might they creep over by night and fall upon us? If I should be allowed to venture alone into the thicket29, would the fiery30 eyes of the "reb" glare upon me? Please could I settle difficulties with any little boy in the opposing camp? in the admirable Roman fashion, of whose precedent31 I was yet ignorant.
How they would laugh, those bearded and epauletted guests of our exceptionally elegant log-house! And how uproariously they often planted me, regardless of ink and paper, on the table, and toasted me in some cordial beverage32 until I pranced33 in glee!
Be it humbly34 admitted that the freedom I enjoyed among officers and men of several organizations, and the indulgence which they showed, tended not to improve my scarce seraphic disposition35. More than once was I called to order for some breach36 of discipline, the most venial37 of which were cutting the tent-strings, hanging about the sentry38 and impeding39 his progress with efforts to relieve him of his musket, or concealing40 the drum-sticks to postpone41 an anticipated signal. The dark-eyed young man to whom I owed allegiance—
"Ay me! while life did last that league was tender,"
—would exclaim, with the awful sense of a newly acquired dignity: "Disobey a colonel if you dare!" and threaten me, not with vulgar deprivations42 of supper, or trivial captivity43 in closets, but with a veritable court-martial for my predestined doom44, when I should be so bad again.
Our family retinue45 consisted of a cook of jolly and rubicund46 exterior47, and a pleasant lad, who, among his other duties, cared for my glossy-coated Arabian, and led him about like a circus-master, while I "snatched a fearful joy" upon his back. The memory of the former personage is embalmed48 in the fragrance49 of roast beef and mashed50 potatoes, edibles51 which he announced frequently with a melodramatic flourish and intonation52 never to be forgotten. Burly old Bush! He had a quaint53 way of delivering his best things, stans pede in uno, with a sidelong light of the eye to let you into the secret of his rich hyperboles.
Another favorite of mine was an adjutant, owner of two sociable54 King Charles spaniels, which I was permitted to endow with portions of my supper, and which I visited as regularly as a country lover his sweetheart, when the general evening relaxation55 set in. Captain J., too, stern, reticent56, and little popular with his men, was strangely gentle to one that rode on his arm, and fell asleep, many a time, at his knee. He was a fascinating story-teller, and held my fancy longer than any soldier-playmate of his day. He had the absolute confidence of my infallible young man. The old figure, "true as steel," was made for him. They forbore to tell me till long afterwards, that he fell, shot through and through, at the Wilderness57, with his face to the foe58.
He had a brother, a mere59 boy, whose sunny hair I can remember under the military cap. But him I may come across any hour, prosperous and sunny-haired still. The only other figures plain to my mind's eye are F., the sweet-mannered gentleman who took care of me in a long railway journey; S., the surgeon, maker60 of jokes and of whistles; W., who used to sing "Malbrook s'en va-t en guerre," with immense satisfaction to himself, at least; and C., an inveterate61 patriot62, who gave his good right arm for the asking, at touch of a cannon-ball.
During that stay there was much gayety and little mishap63. My elders rode off to many a hunt, or held tournaments with all the tilting64 and fair ladies' smiles incidental, nay65, essential, to their success. Twice, in the midst of less serious things, the men were called to sleep under arms. I can very well remember, another time, ominous66 talk of Mosby and his guerillas, and a cloud of dust on the horizon which seemed to betoken67 his restless squadron. But these were variations on a winter full of pastime, and uncommonly68 clement69 and merry. The campaign that followed was so arduous70, and involved such heavy losses, that it is cheering to remember the hearty71 voices of old play-fellows during that genial72 holiday, to take down the books they used to read from their anchorage on a shelf, and to treasure up the gay incidents that brightened their tragic73 story.
I recall a waiter of exceeding blackness who impressed me in a Washington hotel, and a sandwich, uncommonly sharp with mustard, obtained on the homeward journey at the Baltimore station, where the city seemed to turn out to feed the very hungry in my person; and nothing at all further, beyond these unspiritual details, till the war drew to a close. For then my best-beloved soldier came home. He was terribly shattered with suffering and fatigue,—how irrevocably hurt I knew not. If "the stars had fallen from heaven to light upon his shoulders," the thunderbolt had fallen too; and the general's insignia was sealed with a minie-ball. After a series of escapes thrilling enough for a dime74 novel, after a plunge75, horse and man, into a ravine, a solitary76 stampede in a swamp, the loss of a scabbard and a patch of clothing by the familiar brushing of a bomb, and a hole through a cap neatly77 made by an attentive78 sharp-shooter, the charmed bullets had hit at last. It was my earliest glimpse of the painful side of the war, when he stood worn, pale, drooping79, waiting recognition with a weary smile, at the door of the sunny little house we all loved. Instantly, heedless of any persuasive80 arms or voices, I slipped headlong, like a startled seal from the rocks, and disappeared under the table. Such was my common mode of receiving strangers; and here, indeed, was a most bewildering and appalling81 stranger. In vain my soldier called me by the most endearing names; even the whimsical nomenclature of camp-life failed to convince me that this was no imposition. I shut my disbelieving eyes, and crouched82 on the carpet. For two long hours I did not capitulate, and then but warily83. What was this spectre with whom I must not frolic, on whose shoulders I must not perch84, whose head, bound in bandages, I must not handle? What was he, in place of my old-time comrade, blithe85 and boyish, and how could he expect to inherit the confidence I had given to quite another sort of person? Unhallowed Dixie! How it had cozened me out of what I prized most!
The wound that jarred upon me, I quickly came to consider as an admirable distinction, and altogether proper and desirable. I longed to be shot, in the interests of my native land; and presently, "by the foot of Pharaoh!" so I was, thanks to a pistol in the hands of a maladroit86 little neighbor. I underwent the ether-sponge and the knife, and my chubby87 cheek displayed with pride the reduced fac-simile of the parental88 scar. It was my day of jubilee89, ere the cicatrice had vanished, when I might lean against that elder veteran's knee, and recount Munchausen-like tales of "our" prowess in the war.
I remember the shock of national loss when the President was assassinated90; and, after that, the coming and going of army-faces,—some strange, some familiar. It was like Virginia once more, to hear the band march, serenading, up the quiet street; to recognize hearty voices at the garden gate; to command my most dutiful to "shoulder arms!" and "right wheel!" and, waking from slumber91, to creep to the head of the stairs, and surreptitiously greet dear M. and B. and broad-shouldered A., as they passed below.
Not only these my childish fancy saw, but there seemed to gather with them many, many others, bearing names that sometime had been cited in my presence from the bright annals of Massachusetts; and out of their syllables92 I framed a ghostly pageant93, following ever, like a breath of wind, close on the footsteps of their living peers. The dream-cohorts, too, smiled up at me, and swept by. "Trenmor came, the tall form of vanished years, his blue hosts behind him."
I went to camp several times thereafter, though never with my own brigade; but having outlived its enchantment94, inasmuch as I were now conscious of "playing soldier" merely, I took a stand on my war record, and decided95 to withdraw from the militia96. That was long ago. But the old prepossessions are immortal97. The smell of powder is sweeter to me than Oriental lilies. I resent the doctrine98 of absorption into the restful bosom99 of Brahma. An it please you, I aspire100 to Mars.
I used to love the sight of those shabby warriors101, dolefully bewailing their forlorn condition, and mildly suggesting their eligibility102 to a bounteous103 dinner, who prowled, in long succession, about our side door. I thrilled with indignation at their counterfeited104 wrongs. I brought them my sweetmeats, to throw a halo about their sober meal. Do I not take kindly105 yet to the battered106 coat bedizened with bright buttons, on the back of M., grimy vender107 of coal? Do I not encourage the handsome charges of our grocer, solely108 because I know his antecedents, and can trace his limp to Ball's Bluff109?
It was an article of belief, in my Utopian childhood, that a soldier could do no wrong. It went hard with me, in my eleventh year, to catch a glimpse of the silver Maltese cross, the badge of the impeccable Fifth Corps110, on the breast of a scowling111 state prisoner, the hero "shorn of his beams." His arm no longer rested on a howitzer; he wielded112 a crowbar. He might have hallowed Libby or Andersonville with his passing, and now,—O Absalom!
The warden113, the benignant warden, himself of the "trade of war," did he know what he was doing, when he assured me that the cells were peopled with ex-Federal knights114? Men have tried vainly to restore the lost completeness of the glorious statue of Melos. Even so with a broken faith. What it might have been is out of the province of diviners.
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1
ushered
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| v.引，领，陪同( usher的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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trumpets
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| 喇叭( trumpet的名词复数 )； 小号； 喇叭形物； （尤指）绽开的水仙花 | |
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secular
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| n.牧师，凡人；adj.世俗的，现世的，不朽的 | |
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speculation
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| n.思索，沉思；猜测；投机 | |
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twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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enlisted
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| adj.应募入伍的v.（使）入伍， （使）参军( enlist的过去式和过去分词 )；获得（帮助或支持） | |
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distended
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| v.（使）膨胀，肿胀( distend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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turmoil
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| n.骚乱，混乱，动乱 | |
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slaughter
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| n.屠杀，屠宰；vt.屠杀，宰杀 | |
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supremely
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| adv.无上地，崇高地 | |
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zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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copious
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| adj.丰富的，大量的 | |
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screeching
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| v.发出尖叫声( screech的现在分词 )；发出粗而刺耳的声音；高叫 | |
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16
wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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outrageous
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| adj.无理的，令人不能容忍的 | |
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affinity
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| n.亲和力，密切关系 | |
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hue
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| n.色度；色调；样子 | |
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memorable
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| adj.值得回忆的，难忘的，特别的，显著的 | |
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epidemic
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| n.流行病；盛行；adj.流行性的，流传极广的 | |
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musket
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| n.滑膛枪 | |
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rustic
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| adj.乡村的，有乡村特色的；n.乡下人，乡巴佬 | |
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24
hostilities
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| n.战争；敌意(hostility的复数)；敌对状态；战事 | |
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regiment
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| n.团，多数，管理；v.组织，编成团，统制 | |
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26
thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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reverted
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| 恢复( revert的过去式和过去分词 )； 重提； 回到…上； 归还 | |
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lurking
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| 潜在 | |
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thicket
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| n.灌木丛，树林 | |
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fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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precedent
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| n.先例，前例；惯例；adj.在前的，在先的 | |
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32
beverage
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| n.(水，酒等之外的)饮料 | |
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pranced
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| v.（马）腾跃( prance的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34
humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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venial
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| adj.可宽恕的；轻微的 | |
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sentry
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| n.哨兵，警卫 | |
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impeding
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| a.(尤指坏事)即将发生的，临近的 | |
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40
concealing
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 ) | |
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41
postpone
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| v.延期，推迟 | |
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deprivations
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| 剥夺( deprivation的名词复数 )； 被夺去； 缺乏； 匮乏 | |
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captivity
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| n.囚禁；被俘；束缚 | |
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doom
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| n.厄运，劫数；v.注定，命定 | |
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retinue
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| n.侍从；随员 | |
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rubicund
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| adj.(脸色)红润的 | |
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exterior
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| adj.外部的，外在的；表面的 | |
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embalmed
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| adj.用防腐药物保存（尸体）的v.保存（尸体）不腐( embalm的过去式和过去分词 )；使不被遗忘；使充满香气 | |
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fragrance
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| n.芬芳，香味，香气 | |
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mashed
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| a.捣烂的 | |
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edibles
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| 可以吃的，可食用的( edible的名词复数 )； 食物 | |
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intonation
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| n.语调，声调；发声 | |
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53
quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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54
sociable
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| adj.好交际的，友好的，合群的 | |
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relaxation
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| n.松弛，放松；休息；消遣；娱乐 | |
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reticent
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| adj.沉默寡言的；言不如意的 | |
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wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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foe
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| n.敌人，仇敌 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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maker
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| n.制造者，制造商 | |
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inveterate
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| adj.积习已深的，根深蒂固的 | |
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patriot
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| n.爱国者，爱国主义者 | |
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mishap
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| n.不幸的事，不幸；灾祸 | |
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tilting
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| 倾斜，倾卸 | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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ominous
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| adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的 | |
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betoken
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| v.预示 | |
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68
uncommonly
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| adv. 稀罕(极，非常) | |
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clement
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| adj.仁慈的；温和的 | |
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arduous
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| adj.艰苦的，费力的，陡峭的 | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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genial
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| adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的 | |
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tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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dime
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| n.（指美国、加拿大的钱币）一角 | |
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plunge
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| v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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neatly
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| adv.整洁地，干净地，灵巧地，熟练地 | |
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attentive
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| adj.注意的，专心的；关心(别人)的，殷勤的 | |
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drooping
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| adj. 下垂的，无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
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persuasive
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| adj.有说服力的，能说得使人相信的 | |
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81
appalling
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| adj.骇人听闻的，令人震惊的，可怕的 | |
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82
crouched
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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warily
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| adv.留心地 | |
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84
perch
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| n.栖木，高位，杆；v.栖息，就位，位于 | |
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85
blithe
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| adj.快乐的，无忧无虑的 | |
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maladroit
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| adj.笨拙的 | |
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chubby
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| adj.丰满的，圆胖的 | |
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parental
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| adj.父母的；父的；母的 | |
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jubilee
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| n.周年纪念；欢乐 | |
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assassinated
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| v.暗杀( assassinate的过去式和过去分词 )；中伤；诋毁；破坏 | |
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slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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92
syllables
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| n.音节( syllable的名词复数 ) | |
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pageant
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| n.壮观的游行；露天历史剧 | |
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enchantment
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| n.迷惑，妖术，魅力 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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militia
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| n.民兵，民兵组织 | |
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immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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doctrine
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| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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aspire
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| vi.(to，after)渴望，追求，有志于 | |
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101
warriors
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| 武士，勇士，战士( warrior的名词复数 ) | |
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eligibility
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| n.合格，资格 | |
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103
bounteous
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| adj.丰富的 | |
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counterfeited
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| v.仿制，造假( counterfeit的过去分词 ) | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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battered
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| adj.磨损的；v.连续猛击；磨损 | |
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vender
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| n.小贩 | |
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solely
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| adv.仅仅，唯一地 | |
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bluff
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| v.虚张声势，用假象骗人；n.虚张声势，欺骗 | |
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corps
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| n.(通信等兵种的)部队；(同类作的)一组 | |
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scowling
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| 怒视，生气地皱眉( scowl的现在分词 ) | |
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112
wielded
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| 手持着使用（武器、工具等）( wield的过去式和过去分词 )； 具有； 运用（权力）； 施加（影响） | |
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113
warden
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| n.监察员，监狱长，看守人，监护人 | |
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knights
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| 骑士； （中古时代的）武士( knight的名词复数 )； 骑士； 爵士； （国际象棋中）马 | |
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