The Commodore being in some cases restive1, his Lady has recourse to Artifice2 in the Establishment of her Throne — She exhibits Symptoms of Pregnancy3, to the unspeakable joy of Trunnion, who, nevertheless, is balked4 in his expectation.
These innovations were not effected without many loud objections on his part; and divers5 curious dialogues passed between him and his yoke-fellow, who always came off victorious6 from the dispute; insomuch, that his countenance7 gradually fell: he began to suppress, and at length entirely8 devoured9, his chagrin10; the terrors of superior authority were plainly perceivable in his features; and in less than three months he became a thorough-paced husband. Not that his obstinacy12 was extinguished, though overcome. In some things he was as inflexible13 and mulish as ever; but then he durst not kick so openly, and was reduced to the necessity of being passive in his resentments15. Mrs. Trunnion, for example, proposed that a coach and six should be purchased, as she could not ride on horseback, and the chaise was a scandalous carriage for a person of her condition. The commodore, conscious of his own inferior capacity in point of reasoning, did not think proper to dispute the proposal but lent a deaf ear to her repeated remonstrances16, though they were enforced with every argument which she thought could soothe17, terrify, shame or decoy him into compliance18. In vain did she urge the excess of affection she had for him as meriting some return of tenderness and condescension19: he was even proof against certain menacing hints she gave touching20 the resentment14 of a slighted woman; and he stood out against all the considerations of dignity or disgrace like a bulwark21 of brass22. Neither was he moved to any indecent or unkind expressions of contradiction, even when she upbraided23 him with his sordid24 disposition25, and put him in mind of the fortune and honour he had acquired by his marriage, but seemed to retire within himself, like a tortoise when attacked, that shrinks within its shell, and silently endured the scourge26 of her reproaches, without seeming sensible of the smart.
This, however, was the only point in which she had been baffled since her nuptials27; and as she could by no means digest the miscarriage28, she tortured her invention for some new plan by which she might augment29 her influence and authority. What her genius refused was supplied by accident; for she had not lived four months in the garrison30, when she was seized with frequent qualms31 and retchings; in a word, she congratulated herself on the symptoms of her own fertility; and the commodore was transported with joy at the prospect32 of an heir of his own begetting33.
She knew this was the proper season for vindicating34 her own sovereignty, and accordingly employed the means which nature had put in her power. There was not a rare piece of furniture or apparel for which she did not long; and one day, as she went to church, seeing Lady Stately’s equipage arrive, she suddenly fainted away. Her husband, whose vanity had never been so perfectly35 gratified as with this promised harvest of his own sowing, took the alarm immediately; and in order to prevent relapses of that kind, which might be attended with fatal consequence to his hope, gave her leave to bespeak36 a coach, horses, and liveries, to her own liking37. Thus authorized38, she in a very little time exhibited such a specimen39 of her own taste and magnificence as afforded speculation40 to the whole country, and made Trunnion’s heart quake within him; because he foresaw no limits to her extravagance which also manifested itself in the most expensive preparations for her lying-in.
Her pride, which had hitherto regarded the representative of her father’s house, seemed now to lose all that hereditary41 respect, and prompt her to outshine and undervalue the elder branch of her family. She behaved to Mrs. Pickle42 with a sort of civil reserve that implied a conscious superiority; and an emulation43 in point of grandeur44 immediately commenced between the two sisters. She every day communicated her importance to the whole parish, under pretence45 of taking the air in her coach, and endeavoured to extend her acquaintance among people of fashion. Nor was this an undertaking46 attended with great difficulty, for all persons whatever capable of maintaining a certain appearance, will always find admission into what is called the best company, and be rated in point of character according to their own valuation, without subjecting their pretensions47 to the smallest doubt or examination. In all her visits and parties she seized every opportunity of declaring her present condition, observing that she was forbid by her physicians to taste such a pickle, and that such a dish was poison to a woman in her way; nay48, where she was on a footing of familiarity, she affected49 to make wry50 faces, and complained that the young rogue51 began to be very unruly, writhing52 herself into divers contortions53, as if she had been grievously incommoded by the mettle54 of this future Trunnion. The husband himself did not behave with all the moderation that might have been expected. At the club he frequently mentioned this circumstance of his own vigour55 as a pretty successful feat11 to be performed by an old fellow of fifty-five, and confirmed the opinion of his strength by redoubled squeezes of the landlord’s hand, which never failed of extorting56 a satisfactory certificate of his might. When his companions drank to the Hans en kelder, or Jack57 in the low cellar, he could not help displaying an extraordinary complacence of countenance, and signified his intention of sending the young dog to sea as soon as he should be able to carry a cartridge58, in hopes of seeing him an officer before his own death.
This hope helped to console him under the extraordinary expense to which he was exposed by the profusion59 of his wife, especially when he considered that his compliance with her prodigality60 would be limited to the expiration61 of the nine months, of which the best part was by this time elapsed: yet, in spite of all this philosophical62 resignation, her fancy sometimes soared to such a ridiculous and intolerable pitch of insolence63 and absurdity64, that his temper forsook65 him, and he could not help wishing in secret that her pride might be confounded in the dissipation of her most flattering hopes, even though he himself should be a principal sufferer by the disappointment. These, however, were no other than the suggestions of temporary disgusts, that commonly subsided66 as suddenly as they arose, and never gave the least disturbance67 to the person who inspired them, because he took care to conceal68 them carefully from her knowledge.
Meanwhile she happily advanced in her reckoning, with the promise of a favourable69 issue: the term of her computation expired, and in the middle of the night she was visited by certain warnings that seemed to bespeak the approach of the critical moment. The commodore got up with great alacrity70, and called the midwife, who had been several days in the house; the gossips were immediately summoned, and the most interesting expectations prevailed; but the symptoms of labour gradually vanished, and as the matrons sagely71 observed, this was no more than a false alarm.
Two nights after they received a second intimation, and as she was sensibly diminished in the waist, everything was supposed to be in a fair way; yet this visitation was not more conclusive72 than the former; her pains wore off in spite of all her endeavours to encourage them, and the good women betook themselves to their respective homes, in expectation of finding the third attack decisive, alluding73 to the well-known maxim74, that “number three is always fortunate.” For once, however, this apophthegm failed; the next call was altogether as ineffectual as the former; and moreover, attended with a phenomenon which to them was equally strange and inexplicable75: this was no other than such a reduction in the size of Mrs. Trunnion as might have been expected after the birth of a full-grown child. Startled at such an unaccountable event, they sat in close divan76; and concluding that the case was in all respects unnatural77 and prodigious78, desired that a messenger might be immediately despatched for some male practitioner79 in the art of midwifery.
The commodore, without guessing the cause of her perplexity, ordered Pipes immediately on this piece of duty, and in less than two hours they were assisted by the advice of a surgeon of the neighbourhood, who boldly affirmed that the patient had never been with child. This asseveration was like a clap of thunder to Mr. Trunnion, who had been, during eight whole days and nights, in continual expectation of being hailed with the appellation80 of father.
After some recollection, he swore the surgeon was an ignorant fellow, and that he would not take his word for what he advanced, being comforted and confirmed in his want of faith by the insinuations of the midwife, who still persisted to feed Mrs. Trunnion with hopes of a speedy and safe delivery; observing that she had been concerned in many a case of the same nature, where a fine child was found, even after all signs of the mother’s pregnancy had disappeared. Every twig81 of hope, how slender soever it may be, is eagerly caught hold on by people who find themselves in danger of being disappointed. To every question proposed by her to the lady, with the preambles82 of “Han’t you?” or “Don’t you?” answer was made in the affirmative, whether agreeable to truth or not, because the respondent could not find in her heart to disown any symptom that might favour the notion she had so long indulged.
This experienced proficient83 in the obstetric art was therefore kept in close attendance for the space of three weeks, during which the patient had several returns of what she pleased herself with believing to be labour pains, till at length, she and her husband became the standing84 joke of the parish; and this infatuated couple could scarce be prevailed upon to part with their hope, even when she appeared as lank85 as a greyhound, and they were furnished with other unquestionable proofs of their having been deceived. But they could not for ever remain under the influence of this sweet delusion86, which at last faded away, and was succeeded by a paroxysm of shame and confusion, that kept the husband within-doors for the space of a whole fortnight, and confined his lady to her bed for a series of weeks, during which she suffered all the anguish87 of the most intense mortification88; yet even this was subdued89 by the lenient90 hand of time.
The first respite91 from her chagrin was employed in the strict discharge of what are called the duties of religion, which she performed with the most rancorous severity, setting on foot a persecution92 in her own family, that made the house too hot for all the menial servants, even ruffled93 the almost invincible94 indifference95 of Tom Pipes, harassed96 the commodore himself out of all patience, and spared no individual but Lieutenant97 Hatchway, whom she never ventured to disoblige.
1 restive | |
adj.不安宁的,不安静的 | |
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2 artifice | |
n.妙计,高明的手段;狡诈,诡计 | |
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3 pregnancy | |
n.怀孕,怀孕期 | |
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4 balked | |
v.畏缩不前,犹豫( balk的过去式和过去分词 );(指马)不肯跑 | |
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5 divers | |
adj.不同的;种种的 | |
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6 victorious | |
adj.胜利的,得胜的 | |
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7 countenance | |
n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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8 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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9 devoured | |
吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 ); 耗尽; 津津有味地看; 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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10 chagrin | |
n.懊恼;气愤;委屈 | |
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11 feat | |
n.功绩;武艺,技艺;adj.灵巧的,漂亮的,合适的 | |
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12 obstinacy | |
n.顽固;(病痛等)难治 | |
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13 inflexible | |
adj.不可改变的,不受影响的,不屈服的 | |
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14 resentment | |
n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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15 resentments | |
(因受虐待而)愤恨,不满,怨恨( resentment的名词复数 ) | |
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16 remonstrances | |
n.抱怨,抗议( remonstrance的名词复数 ) | |
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17 soothe | |
v.安慰;使平静;使减轻;缓和;奉承 | |
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18 compliance | |
n.顺从;服从;附和;屈从 | |
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19 condescension | |
n.自以为高人一等,贬低(别人) | |
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20 touching | |
adj.动人的,使人感伤的 | |
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21 bulwark | |
n.堡垒,保障,防御 | |
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22 brass | |
n.黄铜;黄铜器,铜管乐器 | |
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23 upbraided | |
v.责备,申斥,谴责( upbraid的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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24 sordid | |
adj.肮脏的,不干净的,卑鄙的,暗淡的 | |
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25 disposition | |
n.性情,性格;意向,倾向;排列,部署 | |
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26 scourge | |
n.灾难,祸害;v.蹂躏 | |
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27 nuptials | |
n.婚礼;婚礼( nuptial的名词复数 ) | |
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28 miscarriage | |
n.失败,未达到预期的结果;流产 | |
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29 augment | |
vt.(使)增大,增加,增长,扩张 | |
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30 garrison | |
n.卫戍部队;驻地,卫戍区;vt.派(兵)驻防 | |
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31 qualms | |
n.不安;内疚 | |
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32 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
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33 begetting | |
v.为…之生父( beget的现在分词 );产生,引起 | |
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34 vindicating | |
v.澄清(某人/某事物)受到的责难或嫌疑( vindicate的现在分词 );表明或证明(所争辩的事物)属实、正当、有效等;维护 | |
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35 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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36 bespeak | |
v.预定;预先请求 | |
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37 liking | |
n.爱好;嗜好;喜欢 | |
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38 authorized | |
a.委任的,许可的 | |
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39 specimen | |
n.样本,标本 | |
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40 speculation | |
n.思索,沉思;猜测;投机 | |
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41 hereditary | |
adj.遗传的,遗传性的,可继承的,世袭的 | |
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42 pickle | |
n.腌汁,泡菜;v.腌,泡 | |
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43 emulation | |
n.竞争;仿效 | |
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44 grandeur | |
n.伟大,崇高,宏伟,庄严,豪华 | |
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45 pretence | |
n.假装,作假;借口,口实;虚伪;虚饰 | |
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46 undertaking | |
n.保证,许诺,事业 | |
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47 pretensions | |
自称( pretension的名词复数 ); 自命不凡; 要求; 权力 | |
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48 nay | |
adv.不;n.反对票,投反对票者 | |
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49 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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50 wry | |
adj.讽刺的;扭曲的 | |
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51 rogue | |
n.流氓;v.游手好闲 | |
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52 writhing | |
(因极度痛苦而)扭动或翻滚( writhe的现在分词 ) | |
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53 contortions | |
n.扭歪,弯曲;扭曲,弄歪,歪曲( contortion的名词复数 ) | |
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54 mettle | |
n.勇气,精神 | |
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55 vigour | |
(=vigor)n.智力,体力,精力 | |
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56 extorting | |
v.敲诈( extort的现在分词 );曲解 | |
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57 jack | |
n.插座,千斤顶,男人;v.抬起,提醒,扛举;n.(Jake)杰克 | |
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58 cartridge | |
n.弹壳,弹药筒;(装磁带等的)盒子 | |
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59 profusion | |
n.挥霍;丰富 | |
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60 prodigality | |
n.浪费,挥霍 | |
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61 expiration | |
n.终结,期满,呼气,呼出物 | |
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62 philosophical | |
adj.哲学家的,哲学上的,达观的 | |
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63 insolence | |
n.傲慢;无礼;厚颜;傲慢的态度 | |
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64 absurdity | |
n.荒谬,愚蠢;谬论 | |
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65 forsook | |
forsake的过去式 | |
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66 subsided | |
v.(土地)下陷(因在地下采矿)( subside的过去式和过去分词 );减弱;下降至较低或正常水平;一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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67 disturbance | |
n.动乱,骚动;打扰,干扰;(身心)失调 | |
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68 conceal | |
v.隐藏,隐瞒,隐蔽 | |
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69 favourable | |
adj.赞成的,称赞的,有利的,良好的,顺利的 | |
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70 alacrity | |
n.敏捷,轻快,乐意 | |
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71 sagely | |
adv. 贤能地,贤明地 | |
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72 conclusive | |
adj.最后的,结论的;确凿的,消除怀疑的 | |
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73 alluding | |
提及,暗指( allude的现在分词 ) | |
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74 maxim | |
n.格言,箴言 | |
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75 inexplicable | |
adj.无法解释的,难理解的 | |
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76 divan | |
n.长沙发;(波斯或其他东方诗人的)诗集 | |
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77 unnatural | |
adj.不自然的;反常的 | |
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78 prodigious | |
adj.惊人的,奇妙的;异常的;巨大的;庞大的 | |
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79 practitioner | |
n.实践者,从事者;(医生或律师等)开业者 | |
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80 appellation | |
n.名称,称呼 | |
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81 twig | |
n.小树枝,嫩枝;v.理解 | |
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82 preambles | |
n.序( preamble的名词复数 );绪言;(法令、文件等的)序文;前言 | |
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83 proficient | |
adj.熟练的,精通的;n.能手,专家 | |
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84 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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85 lank | |
adj.瘦削的;稀疏的 | |
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86 delusion | |
n.谬见,欺骗,幻觉,迷惑 | |
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87 anguish | |
n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦,烦恼 | |
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88 mortification | |
n.耻辱,屈辱 | |
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89 subdued | |
adj. 屈服的,柔和的,减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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90 lenient | |
adj.宽大的,仁慈的 | |
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91 respite | |
n.休息,中止,暂缓 | |
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92 persecution | |
n. 迫害,烦扰 | |
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93 ruffled | |
adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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94 invincible | |
adj.不可征服的,难以制服的 | |
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95 indifference | |
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎 | |
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96 harassed | |
adj. 疲倦的,厌烦的 动词harass的过去式和过去分词 | |
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97 lieutenant | |
n.陆军中尉,海军上尉;代理官员,副职官员 | |
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