They set out in company, breakfast at Abbeville, dine at Amiens and, about eleven o’clock, arrive at Chantilly where Peregrine executes a Plan which he had concerted upon Hornbeck.
The whole company by agreement rose and departed before day, and breakfasted at Abbeville, where they became acquainted with the finesse1 of their Bernay landlord, who had imposed upon them, in affirming that they would not have been admitted after the gates were shut. From thence they proceeded to Amiens, where they dined, and were pestered2 by begging friars; and the roads being deep, it was eleven o’clock at night before they reached Chantilly, where they found supper already dressed, in consequence of having despatched the valet-de-chambre before them on horseback.
The constitution of Hornbeck being very much impaired3 by a life of irregularity, he found himself so fatigued4 with his day’s journey, which amounted to upwards5 of a hundred miles, that when he sat down at table, he could scarce sit upright; and in less than three minutes began to nod in his chair. Peregrine, who had foreseen and provided for this occasion, advised him to exhilarate his spirits with a glass of wine; and the proposal being embraced, tipped his valet-de-chambre the wink6, who, according to the instructions he had received, qualified7 the Burgundy with thirty drops of laudanum, which this unfortunate husband swallowed in one glass. The dose, cooperating with his former drowsiness8, lulled9 him so fast to sleep, as it were instantaneously, that it was found necessary to convey him to his own chamber10, where his footman undressed and put him to bed: nor was Jolter (naturally of a sluggish11 disposition) able to resist his propensity12 to sleep, without suffering divers13 dreadful yawns, which encouraged his pupil to administer the same dose to him, which had operated so successfully upon the other Argus. This cordial had not such gentle effect upon the rugged14 organs of Jolter as upon the more delicate nerves of Hornbeck; but discovered itself in certain involuntary startings, and convulsive motions in the muscles of his face; and when his nature at length yielded to the power of this medicine, he sounded the trumpet16 so loud through his nostrils17, that our adventurer was afraid the noise would wake his other patient, and consequently the accomplishment18 of his aim. The governor was therefore committed to the care of Pipes, who lugged19 him into the next room, and having stripped off his clothes, tumbled him into his nest, while the two lovers remained at full liberty to indulge their mutual20 passion.
Peregrine, in the impatience21 of his inclination22, would have finished the fate of Hornbeck immediately; but his inamorata disapproved23 of his intention, and represented that their being together by themselves for any length of time would be observed by her servant, who was kept as a spy upon her actions; so that they had recourse to another scheme which was executed in this manner. He conducted her into her own apartment in presence of her footman, who lighted them thither24, and wishing her good rest, returned to his own chamber, where he waited till everything was quiet in the house; then stealing softly to her door, which had been left open for his admission in the dark, he found the husband still secure in the embraces of sleep, and the lady in a loose gown, ready to seal his happiness. He conveyed her to his own chamber; but his guilty passion was not gratified.
The opium25 which had been given to Jolter, together with the wine he had drunk, produced such a perturbation in his fancy, that he was visited with horrible dreams; and, among other miserable26 situations, imagined himself in danger of perishing in the flames, which he thought had taken hold on his apartment. This vision made such an impression upon his faculties27, that he alarmed the whole house with repeated cries of “Fire! fire!” and even leaped out of his bed, though he still continued fast asleep. The lovers were very disagreeably disturbed by this dreadful exclamation28; and Mrs. Hornbeck, running in great confusion to the door, had the mortification29 to see the footman, with a light in his hand, enter her husband’s chamber, in order to give him notice of this accident. She knew that she would be instantly missed, and could easily divine the consequence, unless her invention could immediately trump15 up some plausible30 excuse for her absence.
Women are naturally fruitful of expedients31 in cases of such emergency: she employed but a few seconds in recollection, and, rushing directly towards the apartment of the governor, who still continued to hallo in the same note, exclaimed, in a screaming tone, “Lord have mercy upon us! where! where!” By this time, all the servants were assembled in strange attire32: Peregrine burst into Jolter’s room, and seeing him stalking in his shirt, with his eyes shut, bestowed33 such a slap upon his back, as in a moment dissolved his dream, and restored him to the use of his senses. He was astonished and ashamed at being discovered in such an indecent attitude; and, taking refuge under the clothes, asked pardon of all present for the disturbance34 he had occasioned; soliciting35, with great humility36, the forgiveness of the lady, who, to a miracle, counterfeited37 the utmost agitation38 of terror and surprise. Meanwhile Hornbeck, being awaked by the repeated efforts of his man, no sooner understood that his wife was missing, than all the chimeras39 of jealousy40 taking possession of his imagination, he started up in a sort of frenzy41, and, snatching his sword, flew straight to Peregrine’s chamber; where, though he found not that which he looked for, he unluckily perceived an under-petticoat, which his wife had forgot in the hurry of her retreat. This discovery added fuel to the flame of his resentment42. He seized the fatal proof of his dishonour43, and, meeting his spouse44 in her return to bed, presented it to her view, with a most expressive45 countenance46, “Madam, you have dropped your under-petticoat in the next room.”
Mrs. Hornbeck, who inherited from nature a most admirable presence of mind, looked earnestly at the object in question, and, with incredible serenity47 of countenance, affirmed that the petticoat must belong to the house, for she had none such in her possession. Peregrine, who walked behind her, hearing this asseveration, immediately interposed, and pulling Hornbeck by the sleeve into his chamber, “Gadszooks!” said he, “what business had you with that petticoat? Can’t you let a young fellow enjoy a little amour with an innkeeper’s daughter, without exposing his infirmities to your wife? Pshaw! that’s so malicious48, because you have quitted these adventures yourself, to spoil the sport of other people.”
The poor husband was so confounded at the effrontery49 of his wife, and this cavalier declaration of the young man, that his faith began to waver; he distrusted his own conscious diffidence of temper, which, that he might not expose, he expressed no doubts of Peregrine’s veracity50; but, asking pardon for the mistake he had committed, retired51. He was not yet satisfied with the behaviour of his ingenious helpmate, but on the contrary determined52 to inquire more minutely into the circumstances of this adventure, which turned out so little to his satisfaction, that he ordered his servant to get everything ready for his departure by break of day; and when our adventurer rose next morning, he found that his fellow-travellers were gone above three hours, though they had agreed to stay all the forenoon, with a view of seeing the prince of Conde’s palace, and to proceed all together for Paris in the afternoon.
Peregrine was a little chagrined53, when he understood that he was so suddenly deprived of this untasted morsel54; and Jolter could not conceive the meaning of their abrupt55 and uncivil disappearance56, which, after many profound conjectures57, he accounted for, by supposing that Hornbeck was some sharper who had run away with an heiress, whom he found it necessary to conceal58 from the inquiry59 of her friends. The pupil, who was well assured of the true motive60, allowed his governor to enjoy the triumph of his own penetration61, and consoled himself with the hope of seeing his dulcinea again at some of the public places in Paris, which he proposed to frequent. Thus comforted, he visited the magnificent stables and palace of Chantilly, and immediately after dinner set out for Paris, where they arrived in the evening, and hired apartments at an hotel in the Faubourg St. Germaine, not far from the playhouse.
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finesse
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| n.精密技巧，灵巧，手腕 | |
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pestered
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| 使烦恼，纠缠( pester的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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impaired
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| adj.受损的；出毛病的；有（身体或智力）缺陷的v.损害，削弱( impair的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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fatigued
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| adj. 疲乏的 | |
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upwards
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| adv.向上，在更高处...以上 | |
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wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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qualified
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| adj.合格的，有资格的，胜任的，有限制的 | |
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drowsiness
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| n.睡意；嗜睡 | |
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lulled
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| vt.使镇静，使安静（lull的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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sluggish
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| adj.懒惰的，迟钝的，无精打采的 | |
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propensity
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| n.倾向；习性 | |
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divers
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| adj.不同的；种种的 | |
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rugged
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| adj.高低不平的，粗糙的，粗壮的，强健的 | |
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trump
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| n.王牌，法宝；v.打出王牌，吹喇叭 | |
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trumpet
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| n.喇叭，喇叭声；v.吹喇叭，吹嘘 | |
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nostrils
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| 鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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accomplishment
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| n.完成，成就，（pl.）造诣，技能 | |
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lugged
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| vt.用力拖拉（lug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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disapproved
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| v.不赞成( disapprove的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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opium
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| n.鸦片；adj.鸦片的 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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mortification
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| n.耻辱，屈辱 | |
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plausible
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| adj.似真实的，似乎有理的，似乎可信的 | |
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expedients
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| n.应急有效的，权宜之计的( expedient的名词复数 ) | |
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attire
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| v.穿衣，装扮[同]array；n.衣着；盛装 | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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disturbance
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| n.动乱，骚动；打扰，干扰；(身心)失调 | |
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soliciting
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| v.恳求( solicit的现在分词 )；（指娼妇）拉客；索求；征求 | |
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humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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counterfeited
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| v.仿制，造假( counterfeit的过去分词 ) | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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chimeras
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| n.（由几种动物的各部分构成的）假想的怪兽( chimera的名词复数 )；不可能实现的想法；幻想；妄想 | |
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40
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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41
frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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42
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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43
dishonour
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| n./vt.拒付（支票、汇票、票据等）；vt.凌辱，使丢脸；n.不名誉，耻辱，不光彩 | |
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spouse
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| n.配偶(指夫或妻) | |
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expressive
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| adj.表现的，表达…的，富于表情的 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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serenity
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| n.宁静，沉着，晴朗 | |
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48
malicious
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| adj.有恶意的，心怀恶意的 | |
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effrontery
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| n.厚颜无耻 | |
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veracity
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| n.诚实 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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52
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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53
chagrined
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| adj.懊恼的，苦恼的v.使懊恼，使懊丧，使悔恨( chagrin的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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54
morsel
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| n.一口，一点点 | |
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abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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disappearance
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| n.消失，消散，失踪 | |
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57
conjectures
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| 推测，猜想( conjecture的名词复数 ) | |
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conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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penetration
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| n.穿透，穿人，渗透 | |
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