A young painter, indulging a vein1 of pleasantry, sketched2 a kind of conversation piece, representing a bear, an owl3, a monkey, and an ass4; and to render it more striking, humorous, and moral, distinguished5 every figure by some emblem6 of human life. Bruin was exhibited in the garb7 and attitude of an old, toothless, drunken soldier; the owl perched upon the handle of a coffee-pot, with spectacle on nose, seemed to contemplate8 a newspaper; and the ass, ornamented9 with a huge tie-wig (which, however, could not conceal10 his long ears), sat for his picture to the monkey, who appeared with the implements11 of painting. This whimsical group afforded some mirth, and met with general approbation12, until some mischievous13 wag hinted that the whole — was a lampoon14 upon the friends of the performer; an insinuation which was no sooner circulated than those very people who applauded it before began to be alarmed, and even to fancy themselves signified by the several figures of the piece.
Among others, a worthy15 personage in years, who had served in the army with reputation, being incensed16 at the Supposed outrage17, repaired to the lodging18 of the painter, and finding him at home, “Hark ye, Mr. Monkey,” said he, “I have a good mind to convince you, that though the bear has lost his teeth, he retains his paws, and that he is not so drunk but he can perceive your impertinence.” “Sblood! sir, that toothless jaw19 is a d — ned scandalous libel — but don’t yon imagine me so chopfallen as not to be able to chew the cud of resentment20.” Here he was interrupted by the arrival of a learned physician, who, advancing to the culprit with fury in his aspect, exclaimed, “Suppose the augmentation of the ass’s ears should prove the diminution21 of the baboon’s — nay22, seek not to prevaricate23, for, by the beard of Aesculapius! there is not one hair in this periwig that will not stand up in judgment24 to convict thee of personal abuse. Do but observe, captain, how this pitiful little fellow has copied the very curls-the colour, indeed, is different, but then the form and foretop are quite similar.” While he thus remonstrated25 in a strain of vociferation, a venerable senator entered, and waddling26 up to the delinquent27, “Jackanapes!” cried he, “I will now let thee see I can read something else than a newspaper, and that without the help of spectacles: here is your own note of hand, sirrah, for money, which if I had not advanced, you yourself would have resembled an owl, in not daring to show your face by day, you ungrateful slanderous28 knave29!”
In vain the astonished painter declared that he had no intention to give offence, or to characterise particular persons: they affirmed the resemblance was too palpable to be overlooked; they taxed him with insolence30, malice31, and ingratitude32; and their clamours being overheard by the public, the captain was a bear, the doctor an ass, and the senator an owl, to his dying day.
Christian33 reader, I beseech34 thee, in the bowels35 of the Lord, remember this example “while thou art employed in the perusal36 of the following sheets; and seek not to appropriate to thyself that which equally belongs to five hundred different people. If thou shouldst meet with a character that reflects thee in some ungracious particular, keep thy own counsel; consider that one feature makes not a face, and that though thou art, perhaps, distinguished by a bottle nose, twenty of thy neighbours may be in the same predicament.”
1 vein | |
n.血管,静脉;叶脉,纹理;情绪;vt.使成脉络 | |
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2 sketched | |
v.草拟(sketch的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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3 owl | |
n.猫头鹰,枭 | |
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4 ass | |
n.驴;傻瓜,蠢笨的人 | |
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5 distinguished | |
adj.卓越的,杰出的,著名的 | |
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6 emblem | |
n.象征,标志;徽章 | |
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7 garb | |
n.服装,装束 | |
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8 contemplate | |
vt.盘算,计议;周密考虑;注视,凝视 | |
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9 ornamented | |
adj.花式字体的v.装饰,点缀,美化( ornament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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10 conceal | |
v.隐藏,隐瞒,隐蔽 | |
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11 implements | |
n.工具( implement的名词复数 );家具;手段;[法律]履行(契约等)v.实现( implement的第三人称单数 );执行;贯彻;使生效 | |
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12 approbation | |
n.称赞;认可 | |
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13 mischievous | |
adj.调皮的,恶作剧的,有害的,伤人的 | |
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14 lampoon | |
n.讽刺文章;v.讽刺 | |
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15 worthy | |
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的 | |
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16 incensed | |
盛怒的 | |
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17 outrage | |
n.暴行,侮辱,愤怒;vt.凌辱,激怒 | |
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18 lodging | |
n.寄宿,住所;(大学生的)校外宿舍 | |
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19 jaw | |
n.颚,颌,说教,流言蜚语;v.喋喋不休,教训 | |
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20 resentment | |
n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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21 diminution | |
n.减少;变小 | |
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22 nay | |
adv.不;n.反对票,投反对票者 | |
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23 prevaricate | |
v.支吾其词;说谎;n.推诿的人;撒谎的人 | |
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24 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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25 remonstrated | |
v.抗议( remonstrate的过去式和过去分词 );告诫 | |
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26 waddling | |
v.(像鸭子一样)摇摇摆摆地走( waddle的现在分词 ) | |
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27 delinquent | |
adj.犯法的,有过失的;n.违法者 | |
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28 slanderous | |
adj.诽谤的,中伤的 | |
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29 knave | |
n.流氓;(纸牌中的)杰克 | |
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30 insolence | |
n.傲慢;无礼;厚颜;傲慢的态度 | |
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31 malice | |
n.恶意,怨恨,蓄意;[律]预谋 | |
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32 ingratitude | |
n.忘恩负义 | |
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33 Christian | |
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒 | |
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34 beseech | |
v.祈求,恳求 | |
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35 bowels | |
n.肠,内脏,内部;肠( bowel的名词复数 );内部,最深处 | |
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36 perusal | |
n.细读,熟读;目测 | |
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