I am assaulted and dangerously wounded-suspect O’Donnell, and am confirmed in my opinion — concert a scheme of revenge, and put it into execution — O’Donnell robs his own servant and disappears — make my addresses to a lady, and am miraculously1 delivered from her snare2
One night, at about twelve o’clock, as I returned from visiting a patient at Chelsea, I received a blow on my head from an unseen hand, that stretched me senseless on the ground; and was left for dead with three stabs of a sword in my body. The groans3 I uttered when I recovered the use of my reason alarmed the people of a solitary4 alehouse that stood near the spot where I lay: and they were humane5 enough to take me in, and send for a surgeon, who dressed my wounds, and assured me they were not mortal. One of them penetrated6 through the skin and muscles of one side of my belly7 in such a manner, that doubtless the assassin imagined he had run me through the entrails. The second slanted8 along one of my ribs9; and the last, which was intended for the finishing stroke, having been directed to my heart, the sword snapped upon my breast-bone, and the point remained sticking in the skin. When I reflected upon this event, I could not persuade myself that I had been assaulted by a common footpad, because it is not usual for such people to murder though they rob, especially when they meet with no resistance; and I found my money, and everything else about me but my carcase, safe. I concluded, therefore, that I must either have been mistaken for another, or obliged to the private resentment10 of some secret enemy for what had happened; and as I could remember nobody who had the least cause of complaint against me, except Captain O’Donnell and my master’s daughter, my suspicion settled upon them, though I took care to conceal11 it, that I might the sooner arrive at confirmation12.
With this view, I went home in the chair about ten o’clock in the morning; and as the chairman supported me into the house, met the captain in the passage, who no sooner saw me than he started back and gave evident signs of guilty confusion, which he would have accounted for from surprise occasioned by the seeing me in such a condition. My master having heard my story, condoled14 me with a good deal of sympathy, and when he understood my wounds were not dangerous, ordered me to be carried upstairs to bed; though not without some opposition15 from his wife, who was of opinion that it would be better for me to go to an hospital, where I should be more carefully attended. My meditation16 was employed in concerting with myself some method of revenge against Squire17 O’Donnell and his inamorata, whom I looked upon as the author of my misfortune; when miss, who was not at home at my arrival, entered my chamber18, and saying she was sorry for the accident that had befallen me, asked if I suspected anybody to be the assassin; upon which I fixed19 my eyes steadfastly20 upon her and answered, “Yes.” She discovered no symptom of confusion, but replied hastily, “If that be the case, why don’t you take out a warrant, to have him apprehended21? It will cost but a trifle — if you have no money, I’ll lend you.” This frankness not only cured me of my suspicion with respect to her, but even staggered my belief with regard to the captain, of whose guilt13 I resolved to have further proof before I should enterprise anything in the way of revenge. I thanked her kindly22 for her generous offer, which, however, I had no occasion to accept, being determined23 to do nothing rashly: for though I could plainly perceive the person who attacked me to be a soldier, whose face I thought was familiar to me, I could not swear with a safe conscience to any particular man; and, granting I could, my prosecution24 of him would not much avail.
This uncertainty25 I pretended, lest the captain, hearing from her that I knew the person who wounded me, might think proper to withdraw before I could be in a condition to requite26 him. In two days I was up and able to do a little business, so that Mr. Lavement made shift to carry on his practice without hiring another journeyman in my room.
The first thing I attempted towards a certain discovery of my secret enemy, was to get into O’Donnell’s apartment, while he was abroad in an undress, and examine his sword, the point of which being broken off, I applied28 the fragment that was found sticking in my body, and found it answered the fractured part exactly. There was no room left for doubt; and all that remained was to fix upon a scheme of revenge, which almost solely29 engrossed30 my thoughts during the space of eight nights and days. Sometimes I was tempted27 to fall upon him in the same manner as he had practised upon me, and kill him outright31. But this assault my honour opposed as a piece of barbarous cowardice32, in which he was not to be imitated. At other times I entertained thoughts of demanding satisfaction in an honourable33 way; but was diverted from this undertaking34 by considering the uncertainty of the event, and the nature of the injury he had done me, which did not entitle him to such easy terms. At last I determined to pursue a middle course, and actually put my design in execution after this manner. Having secured the assistance of Strap35 and two of his acquaintance whom he could depend upon, we provided ourselves with disguises, and I caused the following letter to be delivered to him by one of our associates in livery, one Sunday evening: —
“Sir — If I may be allowed to judge from appearance, it will not be disagreeable for you to hear that my husband is gone to Bagshot to visit a patient, and will not return till to-morrow night; so that, if you have anything to propose to me (as your behaviour on many occasions has seemed to insinuate), you will do well to embrace the present opportunity of seeing, Yours, etc.” This letter was signed with the Dame36 of an apothecary37’s wife who lived in Chelsea, of whom I bad heard O’Donnell was an admirer. Everything succeeded to our wish. The hero hastened towards the place of appointment, and was encountered by us in the very place where he had assaulted me. We rushed upon him all at once, secured his sword, stripped off his clothes even to the skin, which was scourged38 with nettles39 till he was blistered40 from head to foot, notwithstanding all the eloquence41 of his tears and supplications. When I was satisfied with the stripes I had bestowed42, we carried off his clothes, which we hid in a hedge near the place, and left him stark43 naked to find his way home in the best manner he could, while I took care to be there before him. I afterwards understood that, in his way to the lodgings44 of a friend, who lived in the skirts of the town, he was picked up by the watch, who carried him to the round-house, from whence he sent for clothes to his lodgings, and next morning arrived at the door in a chair, wrapt up in a blanket he had borrowed; for his body was so sore and swelled46, that he could not bear to be confined in his wearing apparel. He was treated with the utmost tenderness by my mistress and her daughter, who vied with each other in their care and attendance of him; but Lavement himself could not forbear expressing his joy, by several malicious47 grins, while he ordered me to prepare an unguent48 for his sores. As to myself, nobody can doubt my gratification, when I had every day an opportunity of seeing my revenge protracted49 on the body of my adversary50, by the ulcers51 of which I had been the cause; and, indeed, I not only enjoyed the satisfaction of having flea’d him alive, but another also which I had not foreseen. The story of his being attacked and stripped in such a place having been inserted in the news, gave information to those who found his clothes next day, whither to bring them; and accordingly he retrieved52 everything he had lost except a few letters, among which was that which I had writ53 to him in the name of the apothecary’s wife. This, and the others, which were all on the subject of love (for this Hibernian hero was one of those people who are called fortune-hunters), fell into the hands of a certain female author, famous for the scandal she has published; who, after having embellished54 them with some ornaments55 of her own invention, gave them to the to town in print. I was very much shocked on reflection, that I might possibly be the occasion of a whole family’s unhappiness on account of the letter I had written; but was eased of that apprehension56, when I understood that the Chelsea apothecary had commenced a lawsuit57 against the printer for defamation58, and looked upon the whole as a piece of forgery59 committed by the author, who had disappeared. But whatever might he his opinion of the matter, our two ladies seemed to entertain a different idea of it: for as soon as the pamphlet appeared, I could perceive their care of their patient considerably60 diminish, till at last it ended in a total neglect. It was impossible for him to be ignorant of this change, any more than of the occasion of it; but as he was conscious to himself of having deserved worse than contempt at their hands, he was glad to come off so cheaply, and contented61 himself with muttering curses and threats against the apothecary, who, as he imagined, having got an inkling of the appointment with his wife, had taken revenge of him in the manner described. By the time he had got a new scarf skin his character was become so notorious, that he thought it high time for him to decamp; and his retreat he performed in one night, without beat of drum, after having robbed his own servant of everything that belonged to him except the clothes he had on his back.
A few days after he disappeared, Mr. Lavement, for his own security, took into his custody62 a large old trunk which he had left; and as it was very heavy, made no question that the contents were sufficient to indemnify him for what O’Donnell owed in lodging45. But a month being elapsed without hearing any tidings of this adventurer, and my master being impatient to know what the trunk contained, he ordered me to break it open in his presence, which task I performed with the pestle63 of our great mortar64, and discovered, to his inexpressible astonishment65 and mortification66, a heap of stones.
About this time, my friend Strap informed me of an offer he had to go abroad with a gentleman in quality of valet de chambre and at the same time assured me that, whatever advantage he might propose to himself from this prospect67, he could not bear the thoughts of parting from me, so much was he attached to my fortune. In spite of all the obligations I owed to this poor, honest fellow, ingratitude68 is so natural to the heart of man, that I began to be tired of his acquaintance: and now that I had contracted other friendships which appeared more creditable, was even ashamed to see a journeyman barber inquiring after me with the familiarity of a companion. I therefore, on pretence69 of consulting his welfare, insisted upon his accepting the proposal, which he at last determined to embrace, with great reluctance70, and in a few days, took his leave of me, shedding a flood of tears, which I could not behold71 without emotion. I now began to look upon me as of a gentleman in reality; learned to dance, frequented plays during the holidays; became the oracle72 of an ale-house, where every dispute was referred to my decision; and at length contracted an acquaintance with a young lady, who found means to make a conquest of my heart, and upon whom I prevailed, after much attendance and solicitation73, to give me a promise of marriage. As this beautiful creature passed for a rich heiress, I blessed my good fortune, and was actually on the point of crowning all my wishes by matrimony, when I made such a discovery as effectually turned me from my design, and I abandoned all thoughts of marriage for the future.
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1
miraculously
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| ad.奇迹般地 | |
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snare
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| n.陷阱，诱惑，圈套；（去除息肉或者肿瘤的）勒除器；响弦，小军鼓；vt.以陷阱捕获，诱惑 | |
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groans
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| n.呻吟，叹息( groan的名词复数 )；呻吟般的声音v.呻吟( groan的第三人称单数 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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humane
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| adj.人道的，富有同情心的 | |
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penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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belly
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| n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛 | |
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slanted
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| 有偏见的； 倾斜的 | |
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ribs
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| n.肋骨( rib的名词复数 )；（船或屋顶等的）肋拱；肋骨状的东西；（织物的）凸条花纹 | |
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resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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12
confirmation
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| n.证实，确认，批准 | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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condoled
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| v.表示同情，吊唁( condole的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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meditation
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| n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录 | |
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squire
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| n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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steadfastly
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| adv.踏实地，不变地；岿然；坚定不渝 | |
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apprehended
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| 逮捕，拘押( apprehend的过去式和过去分词 )； 理解 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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prosecution
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| n.起诉，告发，检举，执行，经营 | |
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uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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requite
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| v.报酬，报答 | |
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tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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solely
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| adv.仅仅，唯一地 | |
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engrossed
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| adj.全神贯注的 | |
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outright
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| adv.坦率地；彻底地；立即；adj.无疑的；彻底的 | |
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cowardice
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| n.胆小，怯懦 | |
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honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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undertaking
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| n.保证，许诺，事业 | |
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strap
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| n.皮带，带子；v.用带扣住，束牢；用绷带包扎 | |
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dame
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| n.女士 | |
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apothecary
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| n.药剂师 | |
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38
scourged
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| 鞭打( scourge的过去式和过去分词 )； 惩罚，压迫 | |
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nettles
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| n.荨麻( nettle的名词复数 ) | |
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blistered
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| adj.水疮状的，泡状的v.（使）起水泡( blister的过去式和过去分词 )；（使表皮等）涨破，爆裂 | |
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41
eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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42
bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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stark
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| adj.荒凉的；严酷的；完全的；adv.完全地 | |
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lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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45
lodging
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| n.寄宿，住所；(大学生的)校外宿舍 | |
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46
swelled
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| 增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情） | |
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malicious
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| adj.有恶意的，心怀恶意的 | |
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unguent
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| n.（药）膏；润滑剂；滑油 | |
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protracted
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| adj.拖延的；延长的v.拖延“protract”的过去式和过去分词 | |
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adversary
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| adj.敌手，对手 | |
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51
ulcers
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| n.溃疡( ulcer的名词复数 )；腐烂物；道德败坏；腐败 | |
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52
retrieved
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| v.取回( retrieve的过去式和过去分词 )；恢复；寻回；检索（储存的信息） | |
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writ
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| n.命令状，书面命令 | |
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embellished
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| v.美化( embellish的过去式和过去分词 )；装饰；修饰；润色 | |
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ornaments
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| n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 )；点缀；装饰品；首饰v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的第三人称单数 ) | |
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56
apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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lawsuit
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| n.诉讼，控诉 | |
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defamation
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| n.诽谤；中伤 | |
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59
forgery
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| n.伪造的文件等，赝品，伪造（行为） | |
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60
considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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61
contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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custody
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| n.监护，照看，羁押，拘留 | |
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pestle
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| n.杵 | |
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64
mortar
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| n.灰浆，灰泥；迫击炮；v.把…用灰浆涂接合 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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mortification
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| n.耻辱，屈辱 | |
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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ingratitude
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| n.忘恩负义 | |
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69
pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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71
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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oracle
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| n.神谕，神谕处，预言 | |
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solicitation
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| n.诱惑；揽货；恳切地要求；游说 | |
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