Miss Williams informs me of Narcissa’s Approbation1 of my Flame — I appease2 the Squire3 — write to my Mistress — am blessed with an Answer — beg Leave of her Brother to dance with her at a Ball — obtain his Consent and hers — enjoy a private Conversation with her — am perplexed4 with Reflections — have the Honour of appearing her Partner at a Ball — we are complimented by a certain Nobleman — he discovers some Symptoms of a Passion for Narcissa — I am stung with Jealousy5 — Narcissa, alarmed, retires — I observe Melinda in the company — the Squire is captivated by her Beauty
I was met next morning at the usual place by Miss Williams, who gave me joy of the progress I had made in the affection of her mistress, and blessed me with an account of that dear creature’s conversation with her, after she had retired6 the night before from our company. I could scarce believe her information, when she recounted her expressions in my favour, so much more warm and passionate7 were they than my most sanguine8 hopes had presaged10; and was particularly pleased to hear that she approved of my behaviour to her brother after she withdrew. Transported at the news of my happiness, I presented my ring to the messenger as a testimony11 of my gratitude12 and satisfaction; but she was above such mercenary considerations, and refused my compliment with some resentment13, saying, she was not a little mortified14 to see my opinion of her so low and contemptible15. I did myself a piece of justice by explaining my behaviour on this head, and to convince her of my esteem16, promised to be ruled by her directions in the prosecution17 of the whole affair, which I had so much at heart, that the repose18 of my life depended upon the consequence.
As I fervently19 wished for another interview, where I might pour out the effusion of my love without danger of being interrupted, and perhaps reep some endearing return from the queen of my desires, I implored21 her advice and assistance in promoting this event: but she gave me to understand, that Narcissa would make no precipitate22 compliances of this kind, and I would do well to cultivate her brother’s acquaintance, in the course of which I should not want opportunities of removing that reserve which my mistress thought herself obliged to maintain during the infancy23 of our correspondence. In the meantime she promised to tell her lady that I had endeavoured by presents and persuasions24, to prevail upon her (Miss Williams) to deliver a letter from me, which she had refused to charge herself with, until she should know Narcissa’s sentiments of the matter; and said, by these means she did not doubt of being able to open a literary communication between us, which could not fail of introducing more intimate connections.
I approved of her counsel, and, our appointment being renewed for the next day, left her with an intent of falling upon some method of being reconciled to the squire, who, I supposed, would be offended with the trick we had put upon him. With this view I consulted Freeman, who, from his knowledge of the foxhunter’s disposition25, assured me there was no other method of pacifying26 him, than that of sacrificing ourselves for one night to an equal match with him in drinking. This expedient27 I found myself necessitated28 to comply with for the interest of my passion, and therefore determined29 to commit the debauch30 at my own lodgings31, that I might run no risk of being discovered by Narcissa, in a state of brutal32 degeneracy. Mr. Freeman, who was to be of the party, went, at my desire, to the squire, in order to engage him, while I took care to furnish myself for his reception. My invitation was accepted, my guests honoured me with their company in the evening, when Bruin gave me to understand that he had drunk many tons of wine in his life, but was never served such a trick as I had played upon him the night before. I promised to atone33 for my trespass34, and, having ordered to every man his bottle, began the contest with a bumper35 to the health of Narcissa. The toasts circulated with great devotion, the liquor began to operate, our mirth grew noisy, and, as Freeman said, I had the advantage of drinking small French claret, the savage36 was effectually tamed before our senses were in the least affected37, and carried home in an apoplexy of drunkenness.
I was next morning, as usual, favoured with a visit from my kind and punctual confidante, who, telling me she was permitted to receive my letters for her mistress, I took up the pen immediately, and, following the first dictates38 of my passion, wrote as follows:
“Dear Madam,
Were it possible for the powers of utterance39 to reveal the soft emotions of my soul, the fond anxiety, the glowing hopes, the chilling flame, that rule my breast by turns, I should need no other witness than this paper, to evince the purity and ardour of that flame your charms have kindled40 in my heart, But alas41! expression wrongs my love! I am inspired with conceptions that no language can convey! Your beauty fills me with wonder, your understanding with ravishment, and your goodness with adoration42! I am transported with desire, distracted with doubts, and tortured with impatience43. Suffer me then, lovely arbitress of my fate, to approach you in person, to breathe in soft murmurs44 my passion to your ear, to offer the sacrifice of a heart overflowing45 with the most genuine and disinterested46 love, to gaze with ecstacy on the divine object of my wishes, to hear the music of her enchanting47 tongue, and to rejoice in her smiles of approbation, which will banish48 the most intolerable suspense49 from the bosom50 of
“Your enraptured51, R— R—.”
Having finished this effusion, I committed it to the care of my faithful friend, with an injunction to second my entreaty52 with all her eloquence53 and influence, and in the meantime went to dress, with an intention of visiting Mrs. Snapper and Miss, whom I had utterly54 neglected, and indeed almost forgotten, since my dear Narcissa had resumed the empire of my soul. The old gentlewoman received me very kindly55, and Miss affected a frankness and gaiety which, however, I could easily perceive was forced and dissembled: among other things, she pretended to joke me upon my passion for Narcissa, which she averred56 was no secret, and asked if I intended to dance with her at the next assembly. I was a good deal concerned to find myself become the town talk on this subject, lest the squire, having notice of my inclinations57, should disapprove58 of them, and, by breaking off all correspondence with me, deprive me of the opportunities I now enjoyed. But I resolved to use the interest I had with him, while it lasted; and that very night, meeting him occasionally, asked his permission to solicit59 her company at the ball, which he very readily granted, to my inexpressible satisfaction.
Having been kept awake the greatest part of the night by a thousand delightful60 reveries that took possession of my fancy, I got up by times, and, flying to the place of rendezvous61, had in a little time the pleasure of seeing Miss Williams approach with a smile on her countenance62, which I interpreted into a good omen63. Neither was I mistaken in my presage9. She presented me with a letter from the idol64 of my soul, which, after having kissed it devoutly65, I opened with the utmost eagerness, and was blessed with her approbation in these terms:
“Sir,
“To say I look upon you with indifference66 would be a piece of dissimulation67 which I think no decorum requires, and no custom can justify68. As my heart never felt an impression that my tongue was ashamed to declare, I will not scruple69 to own myself pleased with your passion; confident of your integrity, and so well convinced of my own discretion70, that I should not hesitate in granting you the interview you desire, were I not overawed by the prying72 curiosity of a malicious73 world, the censure74 of which might be fatally prejudicial to the reputation of
Your Narcissa.”
No anchorite in the ecstacy of devotion ever adored a relic75 with more fervour than that with which I kissed this inimitable proof of my charmer’s candour, generosity76, and affection! I read it over a hundred times, was ravished with her confession77 in the beginning; but the subscription78 of Your Narcissa yielded me such delight as I had never felt before! My happiness was still increased by Miss Williams, who blessed me with a repetition of her lady’s tender expressions in my favour, when she received and read my letter. In short, I had all the reason in the world to believe that this gentle creature’s bosom was possessed79 by a passion for me, as warm, though perhaps not so impetuous as mine for her.
I informed my friend of the squire’s consent to my dancing with Narcissa at the ball and desired her to tell her mistress, that I would do myself the honour of visiting her in the afternoon, in consequence of his permission, when I hoped to find her as indulgent as her brother had been complaisant80 in that particular. Miss Williams expressed a good deal of joy at hearing I was so much in favour with the foxhunter, and ventured to assure me, that my visit would be very agreeable to my mistress, the rather because Bruin was engaged to dine abroad. This was a circumstance which, I scarce need say, pleased me. I went immediately to the Long Room, where I found him, and, affecting to know nothing of his engagement, told him, I would do myself the pleasure to wait upon him in the afternoon, and to present his sister with a ticket for the ball. He shook me by the band, according to custom, and, giving me to understand that he was to dine abroad, desired me to go and drink tea with Narcissa notwithstanding, and promised to prepare her for my visit in the meantime.
Everything succeeding thus to my wish, I waited with incredible impatience for the time, which no sooner arrived than I hastened to the scene, which my fancy had preoccupied81 long before. I was introduced accordingly to the dear enchantress, whom I found accompanied by Miss Williams, who, on pretence82 of ordering tea, retired at my approach. This favourable83 accident, which alarmed my whole soul, disordered her also. I found myself actuated by an irresistible84 impulse; I advanced to her with eagerness and awe71; and, profiting by the confusion that prevailed over her, clasped the fair angel in my arms, and imprinted86 a glowing kiss upon her lips, more soft and fragrant87 than the dewy rosebud88 just bursting from the stem! Her face was in an instant covered with blushes, her eyes sparkled with resentment; I threw myself at her feet, and implored her pardon. Her love became advocate in my cause; her look softened89 into forgiveness; she raised me up, and chid90 me with so much sweetness of displeasure that I could have been tempted91 to repeat the offence, had not the coming in of the servant with the tea-board prevented my presumption92. While we were subject to be interrupted or overheard, we conversed93 about the approaching ball, at which she promised to grace me as a partner, but, when the equipage was removed, and we were left alone, I resumed the more interesting theme, and expressed myself with such transport and agitation94, that my mistress, fearing I should commit some extravagance, rang the bell for her maid, whom she detained in the room, as a check upon my vivacity95. I was not sorry for this precaution, because I could unbosom myself without reserve before Miss Williams, who was the confidante of us both. I therefore gave a loose to the inspirations of my passion, which operated so successfully upon the tender affections of Narcissa, that she laid aside the constraint97 she had hitherto worn, and blessed me with the most melting declaration of her mutual98 flame! It was impossible for me to forbear taking the advantage of this endearing condescension99. She now gently yielded to my embraces; while I, encircling all that I held dear within my arms, tasted in advance the joys of that paradise I hoped in a little time wholly to possess! We spent the afternoon in all the ecstacy of hope that the most fervent20 love exchanged by mutual vows100 could inspire; and Miss Williams was so much affected with our chaste101 caresses102, which recalled the sad remembrance of what she was, that her eyes were filled with tears.
The evening being pretty far advanced, I forced myself from the dear object of my flame, who indulged me in a tender embrace at parting, and, repairing to my lodgings, communicated to my friend Strap103 every circumstance of my happiness, which filled him with so much pleasure, that it ran over at his eyes; and he prayed heartily104, that no envious105 devil might, as formerly106, dash the cup of blessing107 from my lip. When I reflected on what had happened, and especially on the unreserved protestations of Narcissa’s love, I could not help being amazed at her omitting to inquire into the particular circumstances of life and fortune of one whom she had favoured with her affection, and I began to be a little anxious about the situation of her finances; well knowing that I should do an irreparable injury to the person my soul held most dear, if I should espouse108 her without being able to support her in the rank which was certainly her due. I bad heard, indeed, while I served her aunt, that her father had left her a considerable sum; and that everybody believed she would inherit the greatest part of her kinswoman’s dowry, but I did not know how far she might be restricted by the old gentleman’s will in the enjoyment109 of what he left her: and I was too well informed of the virtuoso’s late conduct, to think my mistress could have any expectation from that quarter. I confided110, however, in the good sense and policy of my charmer, who, I was sure, would not consent to unite her fate with mine, before she had fully96 considered and provided for the consequence.
The ball night being arrived, I dressed myself in a suit I had reserved for some grand occasion; and, having drunk tea with Narcissa and her brother, conducted my angel to the scene, where she, in a moment, eclipsed all her female competitors for beauty, and attracted the admiration111 of the whole assembly. My heart dilated112 with pride on this occasion, and my triumph rejected all bounds, when, after we had danced together, a certain nobleman, remarkable113 for his figure, and influence in the beau monde, came up, and in the hearing of all present, honoured us with a very particular compliment upon our accomplishments114 and appearance; but this transport was soon checked, when I perceived his lordship attach himself with great assiduity to my mistress, and say some warm things, which, I thought, savoured too much of passion. It was then I began to feel the pangs115 of jealousy; I dreaded116 the power and address of my rival; I sickened at his discourse117; when she opened her lips to answer, my heart died within me; when she smiled, I felt the pains of the damned! I was enraged118 at his presumption: I cursed her complaisance119: at length he quitted her, and went to the other side of the room. Narcissa, suspecting nothing of the rage that inflamed120 me, put some questions to me as soon as he was gone, to which I made no reply, but assumed a grim look, which too well denoted the agitation of my breast, and surprised her not a little. She no sooner observed my emotion than she changed colour, and asked what ailed85 me? but before I could make answer, her brother, pulling me by the sleeve, bade me take notice of a lady who sat fronting us, whom I immediately, to my vast astonishment121, distinguished122 to be Melinda, accompanied by her mother, and an elderly gentleman, whom I did not know. “Wounds! Mr. Randan,” cried the squire, “is she not a delicate piece of stuff? ‘Sdeath! I have a good mind — if I thought she was a single person.”
Notwithstanding the perplexity I was in, I had reflection enough to foresee that my passion might suffer greatly by the presence of this lady, who, in all probability, would revenge herself upon me, for having formerly disgraced her, by spreading reports to my prejudice. I was therefore alarmed at these symptoms of the Squire’s admiration; and for some time did not know what reply to make, when he asked my opinion of her beauty; at length I came to a determination, and told him that her name was Melinda, that she had a fortune of ten thousand pounds, and was said to be under promise of marriage to a certain lord, who deferred123 his nuptials124 a few mouths until he should be of age. I thought this piece of intelligence, which I had myself invented, would have hindered him effectually from entertaining any further thoughts of her; but I was egregiously125 mistaken. The foxhunter had too much self-sufficiency to despair of success against any competitor on earth. He therefore made light of her engagement, saying, with a smile of self-approbation, “Mayhap she will change her mind; what signifies his being a lord? I think myself as good a man as e’er a lord in Christendom, and I’ll see if a commoner worth three thousand a year won’t serve her turn.” This determination startled me not a little; I knew he would soon discover the contrary of what I advanced; and as I believed he would find her ear open to his addresses, did not doubt of meeting with every obstacle in my amour that her malice126 could invent, and her influence execute. This reflection increased my chagrin127 — my vexation was evident. Narcissa insisted on going home immediately: and, as I led her to the door, her noble admirer, with a look full of languishment128, directed to her a profound bow, which stung me to the soul. Before she went into the chair, she asked, with an appearance of concern, what was the matter with me? and I could pronounce no more than “By heaven, I am distracted!”
1 approbation | |
n.称赞;认可 | |
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2 appease | |
v.安抚,缓和,平息,满足 | |
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3 squire | |
n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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4 perplexed | |
adj.不知所措的 | |
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5 jealousy | |
n.妒忌,嫉妒,猜忌 | |
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6 retired | |
adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的 | |
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7 passionate | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的 | |
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8 sanguine | |
adj.充满希望的,乐观的,血红色的 | |
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9 presage | |
n.预感,不祥感;v.预示 | |
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10 presaged | |
v.预示,预兆( presage的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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11 testimony | |
n.证词;见证,证明 | |
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12 gratitude | |
adj.感激,感谢 | |
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13 resentment | |
n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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14 mortified | |
v.使受辱( mortify的过去式和过去分词 );伤害(人的感情);克制;抑制(肉体、情感等) | |
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15 contemptible | |
adj.可鄙的,可轻视的,卑劣的 | |
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16 esteem | |
n.尊敬,尊重;vt.尊重,敬重;把…看作 | |
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17 prosecution | |
n.起诉,告发,检举,执行,经营 | |
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18 repose | |
v.(使)休息;n.安息 | |
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19 fervently | |
adv.热烈地,热情地,强烈地 | |
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20 fervent | |
adj.热的,热烈的,热情的 | |
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21 implored | |
恳求或乞求(某人)( implore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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22 precipitate | |
adj.突如其来的;vt.使突然发生;n.沉淀物 | |
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23 infancy | |
n.婴儿期;幼年期;初期 | |
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24 persuasions | |
n.劝说,说服(力)( persuasion的名词复数 );信仰 | |
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25 disposition | |
n.性情,性格;意向,倾向;排列,部署 | |
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26 pacifying | |
使(某人)安静( pacify的现在分词 ); 息怒; 抚慰; 在(有战争的地区、国家等)实现和平 | |
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27 expedient | |
adj.有用的,有利的;n.紧急的办法,权宜之计 | |
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28 necessitated | |
使…成为必要,需要( necessitate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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29 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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30 debauch | |
v.使堕落,放纵 | |
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31 lodgings | |
n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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32 brutal | |
adj.残忍的,野蛮的,不讲理的 | |
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33 atone | |
v.赎罪,补偿 | |
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34 trespass | |
n./v.侵犯,闯入私人领地 | |
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35 bumper | |
n.(汽车上的)保险杠;adj.特大的,丰盛的 | |
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36 savage | |
adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人 | |
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37 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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38 dictates | |
n.命令,规定,要求( dictate的名词复数 )v.大声讲或读( dictate的第三人称单数 );口授;支配;摆布 | |
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39 utterance | |
n.用言语表达,话语,言语 | |
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40 kindled | |
(使某物)燃烧,着火( kindle的过去式和过去分词 ); 激起(感情等); 发亮,放光 | |
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41 alas | |
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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42 adoration | |
n.爱慕,崇拜 | |
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43 impatience | |
n.不耐烦,急躁 | |
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44 murmurs | |
n.低沉、连续而不清的声音( murmur的名词复数 );低语声;怨言;嘀咕 | |
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45 overflowing | |
n. 溢出物,溢流 adj. 充沛的,充满的 动词overflow的现在分词形式 | |
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46 disinterested | |
adj.不关心的,不感兴趣的 | |
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47 enchanting | |
a.讨人喜欢的 | |
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48 banish | |
vt.放逐,驱逐;消除,排除 | |
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49 suspense | |
n.(对可能发生的事)紧张感,担心,挂虑 | |
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50 bosom | |
n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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51 enraptured | |
v.使狂喜( enrapture的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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52 entreaty | |
n.恳求,哀求 | |
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53 eloquence | |
n.雄辩;口才,修辞 | |
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54 utterly | |
adv.完全地,绝对地 | |
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55 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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56 averred | |
v.断言( aver的过去式和过去分词 );证实;证明…属实;作为事实提出 | |
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57 inclinations | |
倾向( inclination的名词复数 ); 倾斜; 爱好; 斜坡 | |
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58 disapprove | |
v.不赞成,不同意,不批准 | |
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59 solicit | |
vi.勾引;乞求;vt.请求,乞求;招揽(生意) | |
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60 delightful | |
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的 | |
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61 rendezvous | |
n.约会,约会地点,汇合点;vi.汇合,集合;vt.使汇合,使在汇合地点相遇 | |
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62 countenance | |
n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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63 omen | |
n.征兆,预兆;vt.预示 | |
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64 idol | |
n.偶像,红人,宠儿 | |
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65 devoutly | |
adv.虔诚地,虔敬地,衷心地 | |
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66 indifference | |
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎 | |
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67 dissimulation | |
n.掩饰,虚伪,装糊涂 | |
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68 justify | |
vt.证明…正当(或有理),为…辩护 | |
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69 scruple | |
n./v.顾忌,迟疑 | |
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70 discretion | |
n.谨慎;随意处理 | |
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71 awe | |
n.敬畏,惊惧;vt.使敬畏,使惊惧 | |
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72 prying | |
adj.爱打听的v.打听,刺探(他人的私事)( pry的现在分词 );撬开 | |
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73 malicious | |
adj.有恶意的,心怀恶意的 | |
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74 censure | |
v./n.责备;非难;责难 | |
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75 relic | |
n.神圣的遗物,遗迹,纪念物 | |
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76 generosity | |
n.大度,慷慨,慷慨的行为 | |
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77 confession | |
n.自白,供认,承认 | |
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78 subscription | |
n.预订,预订费,亲笔签名,调配法,下标(处方) | |
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79 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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80 complaisant | |
adj.顺从的,讨好的 | |
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81 preoccupied | |
adj.全神贯注的,入神的;被抢先占有的;心事重重的v.占据(某人)思想,使对…全神贯注,使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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82 pretence | |
n.假装,作假;借口,口实;虚伪;虚饰 | |
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83 favourable | |
adj.赞成的,称赞的,有利的,良好的,顺利的 | |
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84 irresistible | |
adj.非常诱人的,无法拒绝的,无法抗拒的 | |
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85 ailed | |
v.生病( ail的过去式和过去分词 );感到不舒服;处境困难;境况不佳 | |
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86 imprinted | |
v.盖印(imprint的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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87 fragrant | |
adj.芬香的,馥郁的,愉快的 | |
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88 rosebud | |
n.蔷薇花蕾,妙龄少女 | |
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89 softened | |
(使)变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 ); 缓解打击; 缓和; 安慰 | |
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90 chid | |
v.责骂,责备( chide的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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91 tempted | |
v.怂恿(某人)干不正当的事;冒…的险(tempt的过去分词) | |
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92 presumption | |
n.推测,可能性,冒昧,放肆,[法律]推定 | |
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93 conversed | |
v.交谈,谈话( converse的过去式 ) | |
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94 agitation | |
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动 | |
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95 vivacity | |
n.快活,活泼,精神充沛 | |
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96 fully | |
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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97 constraint | |
n.(on)约束,限制;限制(或约束)性的事物 | |
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98 mutual | |
adj.相互的,彼此的;共同的,共有的 | |
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99 condescension | |
n.自以为高人一等,贬低(别人) | |
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100 vows | |
誓言( vow的名词复数 ); 郑重宣布,许愿 | |
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101 chaste | |
adj.贞洁的;有道德的;善良的;简朴的 | |
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102 caresses | |
爱抚,抚摸( caress的名词复数 ) | |
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103 strap | |
n.皮带,带子;v.用带扣住,束牢;用绷带包扎 | |
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104 heartily | |
adv.衷心地,诚恳地,十分,很 | |
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105 envious | |
adj.嫉妒的,羡慕的 | |
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106 formerly | |
adv.从前,以前 | |
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107 blessing | |
n.祈神赐福;祷告;祝福,祝愿 | |
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108 espouse | |
v.支持,赞成,嫁娶 | |
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109 enjoyment | |
n.乐趣;享有;享用 | |
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110 confided | |
v.吐露(秘密,心事等)( confide的过去式和过去分词 );(向某人)吐露(隐私、秘密等) | |
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111 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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112 dilated | |
adj.加宽的,扩大的v.(使某物)扩大,膨胀,张大( dilate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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113 remarkable | |
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的 | |
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114 accomplishments | |
n.造诣;完成( accomplishment的名词复数 );技能;成绩;成就 | |
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115 pangs | |
突然的剧痛( pang的名词复数 ); 悲痛 | |
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116 dreaded | |
adj.令人畏惧的;害怕的v.害怕,恐惧,担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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117 discourse | |
n.论文,演说;谈话;话语;vi.讲述,著述 | |
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118 enraged | |
使暴怒( enrage的过去式和过去分词 ); 歜; 激愤 | |
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119 complaisance | |
n.彬彬有礼,殷勤,柔顺 | |
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120 inflamed | |
adj.发炎的,红肿的v.(使)变红,发怒,过热( inflame的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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121 astonishment | |
n.惊奇,惊异 | |
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122 distinguished | |
adj.卓越的,杰出的,著名的 | |
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123 deferred | |
adj.延期的,缓召的v.拖延,延缓,推迟( defer的过去式和过去分词 );服从某人的意愿,遵从 | |
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124 nuptials | |
n.婚礼;婚礼( nuptial的名词复数 ) | |
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125 egregiously | |
adv.过份地,卓越地 | |
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126 malice | |
n.恶意,怨恨,蓄意;[律]预谋 | |
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127 chagrin | |
n.懊恼;气愤;委屈 | |
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128 languishment | |
衰弱,无力,呆滞 | |
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