Chapter 2 Face to face

   The Internet has been touted as the ultimate tool forbringing people together into shared communities ofinterest. And it's true: if you're searching for otherteddy bear collectors in Toledo or mud wrestlers in Minsk,you'll find them on the Web. For people who are houseboundbecause of disabilities or illness, the Web can alsobe a godsend.

Still, we have to remember that spending hours in frontof a screen, typing into cyberspace, is a poor substitute forthe full spectrum of experience offered by face-to-face timewith another person. You might well meet someone in a chatroom who interests you romantically, but would you agreeto marry before meeting a few times in person?

You need to be in a person's presence for a while in orderto pick up all the verbal and nonverbal cues. The atmospherecreated by physical and mental presence is as important assurface attraction, if not more so. For example, what sort ofenvironment do the two of you create? How spontaneous areyou? How strong is your need for conversation? What aboutyour openness, supportiveness and companionship?

If you don't meet each other's emotional needs, you maybe heading for failure. These things can only be determinedby face-to-face contact. Only then can you tell if you'rereally "connecting."despite being medically healthy, dies a few shortmonths or even weeks after the death of the otherspouse? Food and shelter aren't enough. We need eachother, and we need love.