And if you're free to choose any one you please, whynot choose a Really Useful Attitude?
Let's say you just flew into Miami International Airportand you missed your connection for Omaha. Yousimply have to get on the next flight at all costs, so yougo up to the airline desk and shout at the representative.
This is a Really Useless Attitude. If what you want is toget the attendant's maximum help, the best thing you cando is to find a Really Useful Attitude that will create rapportand get his cooperation.
I'll probably regret saying this, but I've talked myway out of dozens of automobile-related tickets (I'vealso failed a few times) and not just for parking infractions.
I'm absolutely convinced that if I'd started bytelling the officer his radar was off or by losing my temperand getting angry and telling him I'm the mayor'scousin and I'll never visit this town again, I'd bedoomed from the start. If I want the officer to like me,to be understanding and not give me a ticket, then Ihave to assume a Really Useful Attitude like "I'm sorry"39or "Fair enough" or "My, what a fool I am" or "Oh wow,yes, thanks!"The last time I got stopped, the officer followed meinto the village supermarket parking lot and pulled toa stop across the back of my car; I got out and walked tohis car. From his physical appearance, with his beardand body set, I figured he was a Kinesthetic, or feeling-based person (you'll learn more about this later), so thefirst words out of my mouth were "Fair and square."That's because there was no doubt I was in the wrong.
He gave me a well-deserved speech about what I'd doneand let me off with a warning. The point is that my attitudeset the tone of the encounter—because I knewwhat I wanted.
In face-to-face situations, your attitude precedesyou. It is the central force in your life—it controlsthe quality and appearance of everything you do.
It doesn't take much imagination to dream up someReally Useless Attitudes—anger, impatience, conceit,boredom, cynicism—so why not take a moment to contemplateand feel a Really Useful Attitude? When youmeet someone for the first time, you can be curious,enthusiastic, inquiring, helpful or engaging. Or myfavorite—warm. There's something intoxicating aboutwarm human contact; in fact, scientists have discov40ered that it can generate the release of opiates in thebrain—how about that for a Really Useful Attitude?
Needless to say, all the above are more useful thanrevenge and disrespect.
Ask yourself, "What do I want, right now, at this mo-ment? And which attitude will serve me best?" Remem-ber, there are only two types of attitudes to consider
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