A Report from Below!

“Blow high, blow low.”— SEA SONG.

As Mister B. and Mistress B.

One night were sitting down to tea,

With toast and muffins hot —

They heard a loud and sudden bounce,

That made the very china flounce,

They could not for a time pronounce

If they were safe or shot —

For Memory brought a deed to match

At Deptford done by night —

Before one eye appeared a Patch,

In t’other eye a Blight¹!

To be belabor’d at of life,

Without some small attempt at strife²,

Our nature will not grovel³;

One impulse hadd both man and dame⁴,

He seized the tongs⁵ — she did the same,

Leaving the ruffian, if he came,

The poker⁶ and the shovel⁷.

Suppose the couple standing⁸ so,

When rushing footsteps from below

Made pulses fast and fervent⁹;

And first burst in the frantic¹⁰ cat,

All steaming like a brewer’s rat,

And then — as white as my cravat¹¹ —

Poor Mary May, the servant!

Lord, how the couple’s teeth did chatter¹²,

Master and Mistress both flew at her,

“Speak! Fire? or Murder? What’s the matter?”

Till Mary, getting breath,

Upon her tale began to touch

With rapid tongue, full trotting¹³, such

As if she thought she had too much

To tell before her death:—

“We was both, Ma’am, in the wash-house. Ma’am, a-standing at our tubs,

And Mrs. Round was seconding what little things I rubs;

‘Mary,’ says she to me, ‘I say’— and there she stops for coughin,

‘That dratted copper¹⁴ flue has took to smokin very often,

But please the pigs,’— for that’s her way of swearing in a passion,

I’ll blow it up, and not be set a coughin in this fashion!

Well down she takes my master’s horn — I mean his horn for loading,

And empties every grain alive for to set the flue exploding.

Lawk, Mrs. Round! says I, and stares, that quantum is unproper,

I’m sartin sure it can’t not take a pound to sky a copper;

You’ll powder both our heads off, so I tells you, with its puff¹⁵,

But she only dried her fingers, and she takes a pinch of snuff.

Well, when the pinch is over —‘Teach your Grandmother to suck

A powder horn,’ says she — Well, says I, I wish you luck.

Them words sets up her back, so with her hands upon her hips¹⁶,

‘Come,’ says she, quite in a huff, ‘come, keep your tongue inside your lips;

Afore ever you was born, I was well used to things like these;

I shall put it in the grate, and let it burn up by degrees.

So in it goes, and Bounce — O Lord! it gives us such a rattle¹⁷,

I thought we both were cannonized, like Sogers in a battle!

Up goes the copper like a squib, and us on both our backs,

And bless the tubs, they bundled off, and split all into cracks.

Well, there I fainted dead away, and might have been cut shorter,

But Providence¹⁸ was kind, and brought me to with scalding water.

I first looks round for Mrs. Round, and sees her at a distance,

As stiff as starch¹⁹, and looked as dead as any thing in existence;

All scorched²⁰ and grimed, and more than that, I sees the copper slap

Right on her head, for all the world like a percussion²¹ copper cap.

Well, I crooks²² her little fingers, and crumps them well up together,

As humanity pints²³ out, and burnt her nostrums²⁴ with a feather;

But for all as I can do, to restore her to her mortality,

She never gives a sign of a return to sensuality.

Thinks I, well there she lies, as dead as my own late departed mother,

Well, she’ll wash no more in this world, whatever she does in t’other.

So I gives myself to scramble²⁵ up the linens²⁶ for a minute,

Lawk, sich a shirt! thinks I, it’s well my master wasn’t in it;

Oh! I never, never, never, never, never, see a sight so shockin;

Here lays a leg, and there a leg — I mean, you know, a stocking —

Bodies all slit²⁷ and torn to rags, and many a tattered²⁸ skirt,

And arms burnt off, and sides and backs all scotched²⁹ and black with dirt;

But as nobody was in ’em — none but — nobody was hurt!

Well, there I am, a-scrambling up the things, all in a lump,

When, mercy on us! such a groan³⁰ as makes my heart to jump.

And there she is, a-lying with a crazy sort of eye,

A-staring at the wash-house roof, laid open to the sky:

Then she beckons³¹ with a finger, and so down to her I reaches,

And puts my ear agin her mouth to hear her dying speeches,

For, poor soul! she has a husband and young orphans³², as I knew;

Well, Ma’am, you won’t believe it, but it’s Gospel fact and true,

But these words is all she whispered —‘Why, where is the powder blew?’”

1 blight   

n.枯萎病；造成破坏的因素；vt.破坏，摧残

参考例句：

• The apple crop was wiped out by blight.枯萎病使苹果全无收成。
• There is a blight on all his efforts.他的一切努力都遭到挫折。

2 strife   

n.争吵，冲突，倾轧，竞争

参考例句：

• We do not intend to be drawn into the internal strife.我们不想卷入内乱之中。
• Money is a major cause of strife in many marriages.金钱是造成很多婚姻不和的一个主要原因。

3 grovel   

vi.卑躬屈膝，奴颜婢膝

参考例句：

• He said he would never grovel before a conqueror.他说他永远不会在征服者脚下摇尾乞怜。
• You will just have to grovel to the bank manager for a loan.你只得低声下气地向银行经理借贷。

4 dame   

n.女士

参考例句：

• The dame tell of her experience as a wife and mother.这位年长妇女讲了她作妻子和母亲的经验。
• If you stick around,you'll have to marry that dame.如果再逗留多一会，你就要跟那个夫人结婚。

5 tongs   

n.钳；夹子

参考例句：

• She used tongs to put some more coal on the fire.她用火钳再夹一些煤放进炉子里。
• He picked up the hot metal with a pair of tongs.他用一把钳子夹起这块热金属。

6 poker   

n.扑克；vt.烙制

参考例句：

• He was cleared out in the poker game.他打扑克牌，把钱都输光了。
• I'm old enough to play poker and do something with it.我打扑克是老手了，可以玩些花样。

7 shovel   

n.铁锨，铲子，一铲之量；v.铲，铲出

参考例句：

• He was working with a pick and shovel.他在用镐和铲干活。
• He seized a shovel and set to.他拿起一把铲就干上了。

8 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

9 fervent   

adj.热的，热烈的，热情的

参考例句：

• It was a debate which aroused fervent ethical arguments.那是一场引发强烈的伦理道德争论的辩论。
• Austria was among the most fervent supporters of adolf hitler.奥地利是阿道夫希特勒最狂热的支持者之一。

10 frantic   

adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的

参考例句：

• I've had a frantic rush to get my work done.我急急忙忙地赶完工作。
• He made frantic dash for the departing train.他发疯似地冲向正开出的火车。

11 cravat   

n.领巾，领结；v.使穿有领结的服装，使结领结

参考例句：

• You're never fully dressed without a cravat.不打领结，就不算正装。
• Mr. Kenge adjusting his cravat,then looked at us.肯吉先生整了整领带，然后又望着我们。

12 chatter   

vi.／n.喋喋不休；短促尖叫；(牙齿)打战

参考例句：

• Her continuous chatter vexes me.她的喋喋不休使我烦透了。
• I've had enough of their continual chatter.我已厌烦了他们喋喋不休的闲谈。

13 trotting   

小跑，急走( trot的现在分词 )； 匆匆忙忙地走

参考例句：

• The riders came trotting down the lane. 这骑手骑着马在小路上慢跑。
• Alan took the reins and the small horse started trotting. 艾伦抓住缰绳，小马开始慢跑起来。

14 copper   

n.铜；铜币；铜器；adj.铜(制)的；(紫)铜色的

参考例句：

• The students are asked to prove the purity of copper.要求学生们检验铜的纯度。
• Copper is a good medium for the conduction of heat and electricity.铜是热和电的良导体。

15 puff   

n.一口(气)；一阵(风)；v.喷气，喘气

参考例句：

• He took a puff at his cigarette.他吸了一口香烟。
• They tried their best to puff the book they published.他们尽力吹捧他们出版的书。

16 hips   

abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯，耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 )；[建筑学]屋脊；臀围（尺寸）；臀部…的

参考例句：

• She stood with her hands on her hips. 她双手叉腰站着。
• They wiggled their hips to the sound of pop music. 他们随着流行音乐的声音摇晃着臀部。 来自《简明英汉词典》

17 rattle   

v.飞奔，碰响；激怒；n.碰撞声；拨浪鼓

参考例句：

• The baby only shook the rattle and laughed and crowed.孩子只是摇着拨浪鼓，笑着叫着。
• She could hear the rattle of the teacups.她听见茶具叮当响。

18 providence   

n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝

参考例句：

• It is tempting Providence to go in that old boat.乘那艘旧船前往是冒大险。
• To act as you have done is to fly in the face of Providence.照你的所作所为那样去行事，是违背上帝的意志的。

19 starch   

n.淀粉；vt.给...上浆

参考例句：

• Corn starch is used as a thickener in stews.玉米淀粉在炖煮菜肴中被用作增稠剂。
• I think there's too much starch in their diet.我看是他们的饮食里淀粉太多了。

20 scorched   

烧焦，烤焦( scorch的过去式和过去分词 )； 使（植物）枯萎，把…晒枯； 高速行驶； 枯焦

参考例句：

• I scorched my dress when I was ironing it. 我把自己的连衣裙熨焦了。
• The hot iron scorched the tablecloth. 热熨斗把桌布烫焦了。

21 percussion   

n.打击乐器；冲突，撞击；震动，音响

参考例句：

• In an orchestra,people who play percussion instruments sit at the back.在管弦乐队中，演奏打击乐器的人会坐在后面。
• Percussion of the abdomen is often omitted.腹部叩诊常被省略。

22 crooks   

n.骗子( crook的名词复数 )；罪犯；弯曲部分；（牧羊人或主教用的）弯拐杖v.弯成钩形( crook的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• The police are getting after the crooks in the city. 警察在城里追捕小偷。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The cops got the crooks. 警察捉到了那些罪犯。 来自《简明英汉词典》

23 pints   

n.品脱( pint的名词复数 )；一品脱啤酒

参考例句：

• I drew off three pints of beer from the barrel. 我从酒桶里抽出三品脱啤酒。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Two pints today, please. 今天请来两品脱。 来自《简明英汉词典》

24 nostrums   

n.骗人的疗法，有专利权的药品( nostrum的名词复数 )；妙策

参考例句：

• It is likely that these \"enlightened\" nostrums would have speeded up the catastrophe. 这些“开明的”药方本身就可能加快灾难的到来。 来自辞典例句

25 scramble   

v.爬行，攀爬，杂乱蔓延，碎片，片段，废料

参考例句：

• He broke his leg in his scramble down the wall.他爬墙摔断了腿。
• It was a long scramble to the top of the hill.到山顶须要爬登一段长路。

26 linens   

n.亚麻布( linen的名词复数 )；家庭日用织品

参考例句：

• All linens and towels are provided. 提供全套日用织品和毛巾。 来自辞典例句
• Linen, Table Linens, Chair Covers, Bed and Bath Linens. Linen. 采购产品亚麻布，亚麻布，椅子套子，床和沭浴亚麻布。 来自互联网

27 slit   

n.狭长的切口；裂缝；vt.切开，撕裂

参考例句：

• The coat has been slit in two places.这件外衣有两处裂开了。
• He began to slit open each envelope.他开始裁开每个信封。

28 tattered   

adj.破旧的，衣衫破的

参考例句：

• Her tattered clothes in no way detracted from her beauty.她的破衣烂衫丝毫没有影响她的美貌。
• Their tattered clothing and broken furniture indicated their poverty.他们褴褛的衣服和破烂的家具显出他们的贫穷。

29 scotched   

v.阻止( scotch的过去式和过去分词 )；制止（车轮）转动；弄伤；镇压

参考例句：

• Plans for a merger have been scotched. 合并计划停止实行。
• The rebellion was scotched by government forces. 政府军已把叛乱镇压下去。 来自辞典例句

30 groan   

vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音

参考例句：

• The wounded man uttered a groan.那个受伤的人发出呻吟。
• The people groan under the burden of taxes.人民在重税下痛苦呻吟。

31 beckons   

v.（用头或手的动作）示意，召唤( beckon的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• He sent his ships wherever profit beckons. 他将船队派往赢利的那些地方。 来自辞典例句
• I believe history beckons again. 我认为现在历史又在召唤了。 来自辞典例句

32 orphans   

孤儿( orphan的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The poor orphans were kept on short commons. 贫苦的孤儿们吃不饱饭。
• Their uncle was declared guardian to the orphans. 这些孤儿的叔父成为他们的监护人。