The China-mender.

Good-Morning, Mr. What-d’ye-call! Well! here’s another pretty job!

Lord help my Lady! — what a smash! — if you had only heard her sob¹!

It was all through Mr. Lambert: but for certain he was winey,

To think for to go to sit down on a table full of Chiney.

“Deuce take your stupid head!” says my Lady to his very face;

But politeness, you know, is nothing when there’s Chiney in the case;

And if ever a woman was fond of Chiney to a passion,

It’s my mistress, and all sorts of it, whether new or old fashion.

Her brother’s a sea-captain, and brings her home shiploads —

Such bronzes, and such dragons, and nasty squatting² things like toads³;

And great nidnoddin’ mandarins, with palsies in the head:

I declare I’ve often dreamt of them, and had nightmares in my bed.

But the frightfuller they are — lawk! she loves them all the better,

She’d have Old Nick himself made of Chiney if they’d let her.

Lawk-a-mercy! break her Chiney, and it’s breaking her very heart;

If I touched it, she would very soon say, “Mary, we must part.”

To be sure she is unlucky: only Friday comes Master Randall,

And breaks a broken spout⁴, and fresh chips a tea-cup handle:

He’s a dear, sweet little child, but he will so finger and touch,

And that’s why my Lady doesn’t take to children much.

Well, there’s stupid Mr. Lambert, with his two greatcoat flaps.

Must go and sit down on the Dresd’n shepherdesses’ laps,

As if there was no such things as rosewood chairs in the room!

I couldn’t have made a greater sweep with the handle of the broom.

Mercy on us! how my mistress began to rave⁵ and tear!

Well, after all, there’s nothing like good ironstone ware⁶ for wear.

If ever I marry, that’s flat, I’m sure it won’t be John Dockery —

I should be a wretched woman in a shop full of crockery.

I should never like to wipe it, though I love to be neat and tidy,

And afraid of meat on market-days every Monday and Friday

I’m very much mistook if Mr. Lambert’s will be a catch;

The breaking the Chiney will be the breaking-off of his own match.

Missis wouldn’t have an angel, if he was careless about Chiney;

She never forgives a chip, if it’s ever so small and tiny.

Lawk! I never saw a man in all my life in such a taking;

I could find it in my heart to pity him for all his mischief-making.

To see him stand a-hammering and stammering⁷ like a zany;

But what signifies apologies, if they won’t mend old Chaney!

If he sent her up whole crates⁸ full, from Wedgwood’s and Mr. Spode’s,

He couldn’t make amends⁹ for the crack’d mandarins and smash’d toads.

Well! every one has their tastes, but, for my part, my own self,

I’d rather have the figures on my poor dear grandmother’s old shelf

A nice pea-green poll-parrot, and two reapers¹⁰ with brown ears of corns,

And a shepherd with a crook¹¹ after a lamb with two gilt¹² horns,

And such a Jemmy Jessamy in top-boots and sky-blue vest,

And a frill and flower’d waistcoat, with a fine bow-pot at the breast.

God help her, poor old soul! I shall come into ’em at her death;

Though she’s a hearty¹³ woman for her years, except her shortness of breath.

Well! you may think the things will mend — if they won’t, Lord mend us all!

My lady will go in fits, and Mr. Lambert won’t need to call;

I’ll be bound in any money, if I had a guinea to give,

He won’t sit down again on Chiney the longest day he has to live.

Poor soul! I only hope it won’t forbid his banns of marriage;

Or he’d better have sat behind on the spikes¹⁴ of my Lady’s carriage.

But you’ll join ’em all of course, and stand poor Mr. Lambert’s friend,

I’ll look in twice a day, just to see, like, how they mend.

To be sure it is a sight that might draw tears from dogs and cats,

Here’s this pretty little pagoda¹⁵, now, has lost four of its cocked hats.

Be particular with the pagoda: and then here’s this pretty bowl —

The Chinese Prince is making love to nothing because of this hole;

And here’s another Chinese man, with a face just like a doll,

Do stick his pigtail on again, and just mend his parasol.

But I needn’t tell you what to do, only do it out of hand,

And charge whatever you like to charge — my Lady won’t make a stand.

Well! good-morning, Mr. What-d’ye-call, for it’s time our gossip ended:

And you know the proverb, the less as is said, the sooner the Chiney’s mended.

1 sob   

n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣

参考例句：

• The child started to sob when he couldn't find his mother.孩子因找不到他妈妈哭了起来。
• The girl didn't answer,but continued to sob with her head on the table.那个女孩不回答，也不抬起头来。她只顾低声哭着。

2 squatting   

v.像动物一样蹲下( squat的现在分词 )；非法擅自占用（土地或房屋）；为获得其所有权；而占用某片公共用地。

参考例句：

• They ended up squatting in the empty houses on Oxford Road. 他们落得在牛津路偷住空房的境地。
• They've been squatting in an apartment for the past two years. 他们过去两年来一直擅自占用一套公寓。 来自《简明英汉词典》

3 toads   

n.蟾蜍，癞蛤蟆( toad的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• All toads blink when they swallow. 所有的癞蛤蟆吞食东西时都会眨眼皮。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Toads have shorter legs and are generally more clumsy than frogs. 蟾蜍比青蛙脚短，一般说来没有青蛙灵活。 来自辞典例句

4 spout   

v.喷出，涌出；滔滔不绝地讲；n.喷管；水柱

参考例句：

• Implication in folk wealth creativity and undertaking vigor spout.蕴藏于民间的财富创造力和创业活力喷涌而出。
• This acts as a spout to drain off water during a rainstorm.在暴风雨季，这东西被用作喷管来排水。

5 rave   

vi.胡言乱语；热衷谈论；n.热情赞扬

参考例句：

• The drunkard began to rave again.这酒鬼又开始胡言乱语了。
• Now I understand why readers rave about this book.我现明白读者为何对这本书赞不绝口了。

6 ware   

n.(常用复数)商品，货物

参考例句：

• The shop sells a great variety of porcelain ware.这家店铺出售品种繁多的瓷器。
• Good ware will never want a chapman.好货不须叫卖。

7 stammering   

v.结巴地说出( stammer的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• He betrayed nervousness by stammering. 他说话结结巴巴说明他胆子小。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• \"Why,\" he said, actually stammering, \"how do you do?\" “哎呀，\"他说，真的有些结结巴巴，\"你好啊？” 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹

8 crates   

n. 板条箱, 篓子, 旧汽车 vt. 装进纸条箱

参考例句：

• We were using crates as seats. 我们用大木箱作为座位。
• Thousands of crates compacted in a warehouse. 数以千计的板条箱堆放在仓库里。

9 amends   

n. 赔偿

参考例句：

• He made amends for his rudeness by giving her some flowers. 他送给她一些花，为他自己的鲁莽赔罪。
• This country refuses stubbornly to make amends for its past war crimes. 该国顽固地拒绝为其过去的战争罪行赔罪。

10 reapers   

n.收割者，收获者( reaper的名词复数 )；收割机

参考例句：

• Ripe white wheat reapers reap ripe white wheat right. 成熟的白色小麦收割者最懂得收获成熟的白色小麦。 来自互联网
• A pair of reapers help fend off the attack. 几个收割者辅助攻击这些小狗。 来自互联网

11 crook   

v.使弯曲；n.小偷，骗子，贼；弯曲(处)

参考例句：

• He demanded an apology from me for calling him a crook.我骂他骗子，他要我向他认错。
• She was cradling a small parcel in the crook of her elbow.她用手臂挎着一个小包裹。

12 gilt   

adj.镀金的；n.金边证券

参考例句：

• The plates have a gilt edge.这些盘子的边是镀金的。
• The rest of the money is invested in gilt.其余的钱投资于金边证券。

13 hearty   

adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的

参考例句：

• After work they made a hearty meal in the worker's canteen.工作完了，他们在工人食堂饱餐了一顿。
• We accorded him a hearty welcome.我们给他热忱的欢迎。

14 spikes   

n.穗( spike的名词复数 )；跑鞋；（防滑）鞋钉；尖状物v.加烈酒于( spike的第三人称单数 )；偷偷地给某人的饮料加入（更多）酒精（ 或药物）；把尖状物钉入；打乱某人的计划

参考例句：

• a row of iron spikes on a wall 墙头的一排尖铁
• There is a row of spikes on top of the prison wall to prevent the prisoners escaping. 监狱墙头装有一排尖钉，以防犯人逃跑。 来自《简明英汉词典》

15 pagoda   

n.宝塔（尤指印度和远东的多层宝塔），（印度教或佛教的）塔式庙宇

参考例句：

• The ancient pagoda is undergoing repairs.那座古塔正在修缮中。
• The pagoda is reflected upside down in the water.宝塔影子倒立在水里。