I should say here that the previous year, my mother having died and the home being in dissolution, I had ventured into the world on my own. Several sisters, two brothers and my father were still together, but it was a divided and somewhat colorless home at best. Our mother was gone. I was already wondering, in great sadness, how long it could endure, for she had made of it something as sweet as dreams. That temperament3, that charity and understanding and sympathy! We who were left were like fledglings, trying our wings but fearful of the world. My practical experience was slight. I was a creature of slow and uncertain response to anything practical, having an eye single to color, romance, beauty. I was but a half-baked poet, romancer, dreamer.
As I was hurrying upstairs to take a bath and then see what pleasures were being arranged for the morrow, I was intercepted5 by my sister with a “Hurry now and come down. I have a friend here and I want you to meet her. She’s awful nice.”
At the mere6 thought of meeting a girl I brightened, for my thoughts were always on the other sex and I was forever complaining to myself of my lack of opportunity, and of lack of courage when I had the opportunity, to do the one thing I most craved7 to do: shine as a lover. Although at her suggestion of a girl I pretended to sniff8 and be superior, still I bustled9 to the task of embellishing10 myself. On coming into the general livingroom, where a fire was burning brightly, I beheld11 a pretty dark-haired girl of medium height, smooth-cheeked and graceful12, who seemed and really was guileless, good-natured and sympathetic. For a while after meeting her I felt stiff and awkward, for the mere presence of so pretty a girl was sufficient to make me nervous and self-conscious. My brother, E——, had gone off early in the evening to join the family of some girl in whom he was interested; another brother, A——, was out on some Christmas Eve lark13 with a group of fellow-employees; so here I was alone with C—— and this stranger, doing my best to appear gallant14 and clever.
I recall now the sense of sympathy and interest which I felt for this girl from the start. It must have been clear to my sister, for before the night was over she had explained, by way of tantalizing15 me, that Miss Kane had a beau. Later I learned that Alice was an orphan16 adopted by a fairly comfortable Irish couple, who loved her dearly and gave her as many pleasures and as much liberty as their circumstances would permit. They had made the mistake, however, of telling her that she was only an adopted child. This gave her a sense of forlornness and a longing17 for a closer and more enduring love.
Such a mild and sweet little thing she was! I never knew a more attractive or clinging temperament. She could play the banjo and guitar. I remember marveling at the dexterity18 of her fingers as they raced up and down the frets19 and across the strings20. She was wearing a dark green blouse and brown corduroy skirt, with a pale brown ribbon about her neck; her hair was parted on one side, and this gave her a sort of maidenish21 masculinity. I found her looking at me slyly now and then, and smiling at one or another of my affected22 remarks as though she were pleased. I recounted the nature of the work I was doing, but deliberately23 attempted to confuse it in her mind and my sister’s with the idea that I was regularly employed by the Herald as a newspaper man and that this was merely a side task. Subsequently, out of sheer vanity and a desire to appear more than I was, I allowed her to believe that I was a reporter on this paper.
It was snowing. We could see great flakes24 fluttering about the gas lamps outside. In the cottage of an Irish family across the street a party of merrymakers was at play. I proposed that we go out and buy chestnuts25 and popcorn26 and roast them, and that we make snow punch out of milk, sugar and snow. How gay I felt, how hopeful! In a fit of great daring I took one hand of each of my companions and ran, trying to slide with them over the snow. Alice’s screams and laughter were disturbingly musical, and as she ran her little feet twinkled under her skirts. At one corner, where the stores were brightly lighted, she stopped and did a graceful little dance under the electric light.
“Oh, if I could have a girl like this—if I could just have her!” I thought, forgetting that I was nightly telling a Scotch27 girl that she was the sweetest thing I had ever known or wanted to know.
Bedtime came, with laughter and gayety up to the last moment. Alice was to sleep with my sister, and preceded me upstairs, saying she was going to eat salt on New Year’s Eve so that she would dream of her coming lover. That night I lay and thought of her, and next morning hurried downstairs hoping to find her, but she had not come down yet. There were Christmas stockings to be examined, of course, which brought her, but before eight-thirty I had to leave in order to be at work at nine o’clock. I waved them all a gay farewell and looked forward eagerly toward evening, for she was to remain this night and the next day.
Through with my work at five-thirty, I hurried home, and then it was that I learned—and to my great astonishment28 and gratification—that she liked me. For when I arrived, dressed, as I had been all day, in my very best, E—— and A—— were there endeavoring to entertain her, E——, my younger brother, attempting to make love to her. His method was to press her toe in an open foolish way, which because of the jealousy29 it waked in me seemed to me out of the depths of dullness. From the moment I entered I fancied that Alice had been waiting for me. Her winning smile as I entered reassured30 me, and yet she was very quiet when I was near, gazing romantically into the fire.
During the evening I studied her, admiring every detail of her dress, which was a bit different from that of the day before and more attractive. She seemed infinitely31 sweet, and I flattered myself that I was preferred over my two brothers. During the evening, we two being left together for some reason, she arose and went into the large front room and standing4 before one of the three large windows looked out in silence on the homelike scene that our neighborhood presented. The snow had ceased and a full moon was brightening everything. The little cottages and flat-buildings nearby glowed romantically through their drawn32 blinds, a red-ribboned Christmas wreath in every window. I pumped up my courage to an unusual point and, heart in mouth, followed and stood beside her. It was a great effort on my part.
She pressed her nose to the pane33 and then breathed on it, making a misty34 screen between herself and the outside upon which she wrote my initials, rubbed them out, then breathed on the window again and wrote her own. Her face was like a small wax flower in the moonlight. I had drawn so close, moved by her romantic call, that my body almost touched hers. Then I slipped an arm about her waist and was about to kiss her when I heard my sister’s voice:
“Now, Al and Theo, you come back!”
“We must go,” she said shamefacedly, and as she started I ventured to touch her hand. She looked at me and smiled, and we went back to the other room. I waited eagerly for other solitary35 moments.
Because the festivities were too general and inclusive there was no other opportunity that evening, but the next morning, church claiming some and sleep others, there was a half-hour or more in which I was alone with her in the front room, looking over the family album. I realized that by now she was as much drawn to me as I to her, and that, as in the case of my Scotch maid, I was master if I chose so to be. I was so wrought36 up in the face of this opportunity, however, that I scarcely had courage to do that which I earnestly believed I could do. As we stood over the album looking at the pictures I toyed first with the strings of her apron37 and then later, finding no opposition38, allowed my hand to rest gently at her waist. Still no sign of opposition or even consciousness. I thrilled from head to toe. Then I closed my arm gently about her waist, and when it became noticeably tight she looked up and smiled.
“You’d better watch out,” she said. “Some one may come.”
“Do you like me a little?” I pleaded, almost choking.
“I think so. I think you’re very nice, anyhow. But you mustn’t,” she said. “Some one may come in,” and as I drew her to me she pretended to resist, maneuvering39 her cheek against my mouth as she pulled away.
She was just in time, for C—— came into the back parlor40 and said: “Oh, there you are! I wondered where you were.”
“I was just looking over your album,” Alice said.
“Yes,” I added, “I was showing it to her.”
“Oh yes,” laughed my sister sarcastically41. “You and Al—I know what you two were trying to do. You!” she exclaimed, giving me a push. “And Al, the silly! She has a beau already!”
She laughed and went off, but I, hugely satisfied with myself, swaggered into the adjoining room. Beau or no beau, Alice belonged to me. Youthful vanity was swelling42 my chest. I was more of a personage for having had it once more proved to me that I was not unattractive to girls.
点击收听单词发音
1 labors | |
v.努力争取(for)( labor的第三人称单数 );苦干;详细分析;(指引擎)缓慢而困难地运转 | |
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2 herald | |
vt.预示...的来临,预告,宣布,欢迎 | |
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3 temperament | |
n.气质,性格,性情 | |
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4 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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5 intercepted | |
拦截( intercept的过去式和过去分词 ); 截住; 截击; 拦阻 | |
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6 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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7 craved | |
渴望,热望( crave的过去式 ); 恳求,请求 | |
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8 sniff | |
vi.嗅…味道;抽鼻涕;对嗤之以鼻,蔑视 | |
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9 bustled | |
闹哄哄地忙乱,奔忙( bustle的过去式和过去分词 ); 催促 | |
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10 embellishing | |
v.美化( embellish的现在分词 );装饰;修饰;润色 | |
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11 beheld | |
v.看,注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 );瞧;看呀;(叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现)哎哟 | |
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12 graceful | |
adj.优美的,优雅的;得体的 | |
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13 lark | |
n.云雀,百灵鸟;n.嬉戏,玩笑;vi.嬉戏 | |
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14 gallant | |
adj.英勇的,豪侠的;(向女人)献殷勤的 | |
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15 tantalizing | |
adj.逗人的;惹弄人的;撩人的;煽情的v.逗弄,引诱,折磨( tantalize的现在分词 ) | |
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16 orphan | |
n.孤儿;adj.无父母的 | |
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17 longing | |
n.(for)渴望 | |
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18 dexterity | |
n.(手的)灵巧,灵活 | |
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19 frets | |
基质间片; 品丝(吉他等指板上定音的)( fret的名词复数 ) | |
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20 strings | |
n.弦 | |
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21 maidenish | |
处女的,似处女的 | |
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22 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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23 deliberately | |
adv.审慎地;蓄意地;故意地 | |
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24 flakes | |
小薄片( flake的名词复数 ); (尤指)碎片; 雪花; 古怪的人 | |
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25 chestnuts | |
n.栗子( chestnut的名词复数 );栗色;栗树;栗色马 | |
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26 popcorn | |
n.爆米花 | |
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27 scotch | |
n.伤口,刻痕;苏格兰威士忌酒;v.粉碎,消灭,阻止;adj.苏格兰(人)的 | |
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28 astonishment | |
n.惊奇,惊异 | |
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29 jealousy | |
n.妒忌,嫉妒,猜忌 | |
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30 reassured | |
adj.使消除疑虑的;使放心的v.再保证,恢复信心( reassure的过去式和过去分词) | |
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31 infinitely | |
adv.无限地,无穷地 | |
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32 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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33 pane | |
n.窗格玻璃,长方块 | |
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34 misty | |
adj.雾蒙蒙的,有雾的 | |
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35 solitary | |
adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
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36 wrought | |
v.引起;以…原料制作;运转;adj.制造的 | |
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37 apron | |
n.围裙;工作裙 | |
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38 opposition | |
n.反对,敌对 | |
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39 maneuvering | |
v.移动,用策略( maneuver的现在分词 );操纵 | |
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40 parlor | |
n.店铺,营业室;会客室,客厅 | |
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41 sarcastically | |
adv.挖苦地,讽刺地 | |
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42 swelling | |
n.肿胀 | |
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