Part 3 Chapter 18 In the Hospital

The hospital of Port Arthur was not a cheerful place, but to the tortured and unnerved Rufus Dawes it seemed a paradise. There at least — despite the roughness and contempt with which his gaolers ministered to him — he felt that he was considered. There at least he was free from the enforced companionship of the men whom he loathed¹, and to whose level he felt, with mental agony unspeakable, that he was daily sinking. Throughout his long term of degradation² he had, as yet, aided by the memory of his sacrifice and his love, preserved something of his self-respect, but he felt that he could not preserve it long. Little by little he had come to regard himself as one out of the pale of love and mercy, as one tormented³ of fortune, plunged⁴ into a deep into which the eye of Heaven did not penetrate⁵. Since his capture in the garden of Hobart Town, he had given loose rein⁶ to his rage and his despair. “I am forgotten or despised; I have no name in the world; what matter if I become like one of these?” It was under the influence of this feeling that he had picked up the cat at the command of Captain Burgess. As the unhappy Kirkland had said, “As well you as another”; and truly, what was he that he should cherish sentiments of honour or humanity? But he had miscalculated his own capacity for evil. As he flogged, he blushed; and when he flung down the cat and stripped his own back for punishment, he felt a fierce joy in the thought that his baseness would be atoned⁷ for in his own blood. Even when, unnerved and faint from the hideous⁸ ordeal⁹, he flung himself upon his knees in the cell, he regretted only the impotent ravings that the torture had forced from him. He could have bitten out his tongue for his blasphemous¹⁰ utterings — not because they were blasphemous, but because their utterance¹¹, by revealing his agony, gave their triumph to his tormentors. When North found him, he was in the very depth of this abasement¹², and he repulsed¹³ his comforter — not so much because he had seen him flogged, as because he had heard him cry. The self-reliance and force of will which had hitherto sustained him through his self-imposed trial had failed him — he felt — at the moment when he needed it most; and the man who had with unflinched front faced the gallows¹⁴, the desert, and the sea, confessed his debased humanity beneath the physical torture of the lash¹⁵. He had been flogged before, and had wept in secret at his degradation, but he now for the first time comprehended how terrible that degradation might be made, for he realized how the agony of the wretched body can force the soul to quit its last poor refuge of assumed indifference¹⁷, and confess itself conquered.

Not many months before, one of the companions of the chain, suffering under Burgess’s tender mercies, had killed his mate when at work with him, and, carrying the body on his back to the nearest gang, had surrendered himself — going to his death thanking God he had at last found a way of escape from his miseries¹⁹, which no one would envy him — save his comrades. The heart of Dawes had been filled with horror at a deed so bloody²⁰, and he had, with others, commented on the cowardice²¹ of the man that would thus shirk the responsibility of that state of life in which it had pleased man and the devil to place him. Now he understood how and why the crime had been committed, and felt only pity. Lying awake with back that burned beneath its lotioned rags, when lights were low, in the breathful silence of the hospital, he registered in his heart a terrible oath that he would die ere he would again be made such hideous sport for his enemies. In this frame of mind, with such shreds²² of honour and worth as had formerly²³ clung to him blown away in the whirlwind of his passion, he bethought him of the strange man who had deigned²⁴ to clasp his hand and call him “brother”. He had wept no unmanly tears at this sudden flow of tenderness in one whom he had thought as callous²⁵ as the rest. He had been touched with wondrous²⁶ sympathy at the confession²⁷ of weakness made to him, in a moment when his own weakness had overcome him to his shame. Soothed²⁸ by the brief rest that his fortnight of hospital seclusion²⁹ had afforded him, he had begun, in a languid and speculative³⁰ way, to turn his thoughts to religion. He had read of martyrs³¹ who had borne agonies unspeakable, upheld by their confidence in Heaven and God. In his old wild youth he had scoffed³² at prayers and priests; in the hate to his kind that had grown upon him with his later years he had despised a creed³³ that told men to love one another. “God is love, my brethren,” said the chaplain on Sundays, and all the week the thongs³⁴ of the overseer cracked, and the cat hissed³⁵ and swung. Of what practical value was a piety³⁶ that preached but did not practise? It was admirable for the “religious instructor” to tell a prisoner that he must not give way to evil passions, but must bear his punishment with meekness³⁷. It was only right that he should advise him to “put his trust in God”. But as a hardened prisoner, convicted of getting drunk in an unlicensed house of entertainment, had said, “God’s terrible far from Port Arthur.”

Rufus Dawes had smiled at the spectacle of priests admonishing³⁸ men, who knew what he knew and had seen what he had seen, for the trivialities of lying and stealing. He had believed all priests impostors or fools, all religion a mockery and a lie. But now, finding how utterly³⁹ his own strength had failed him when tried by the rude test of physical pain, he began to think that this Religion which was talked of so largely was not a mere⁴⁰ bundle of legend and formulae, but must have in it something vital and sustaining. Broken in spirit and weakened in body, with faith in his own will shaken, he longed for something to lean upon, and turned — as all men turn when in such case — to the Unknown. Had now there been at hand some Christian⁴¹ priest, some Christian-spirited man even, no matter of what faith, to pour into the ears of this poor wretch¹⁶ words of comfort and grace; to rend¹⁸ away from him the garment of sullenness⁴² and despair in which he had wrapped himself; to drag from him a confession of his unworthiness, his obstinacy⁴³, and his hasty judgment⁴⁴, and to cheer his fainting soul with promise of immortality⁴⁵ and justice, he might have been saved from his after fate; but there was no such man. He asked for the chaplain. North was fighting the Convict Department, seeking vengeance⁴⁶ for Kirkland, and (victim of “clerks with the cold spurt⁴⁷ of the pen”) was pushed hither and thither⁴⁸, referred here, snubbed there, bowed out in another place. Rufus Dawes, half ashamed of himself for his request, waited a long morning, and then saw, respectfully ushered⁴⁹ into his cell as his soul’s physician — Meekin.

1 loathed   

v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 )；极不喜欢

参考例句：

• Baker loathed going to this red-haired young pup for supplies. 面包师傅不喜欢去这个红头发的自负的傻小子那里拿原料。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Therefore, above all things else, he loathed his miserable self! 因此，他厌恶不幸的自我尤胜其它！ 来自英汉文学 - 红字

2 degradation   

n.降级；低落；退化；陵削；降解；衰变

参考例句：

• There are serious problems of land degradation in some arid zones.在一些干旱地带存在严重的土地退化问题。
• Gambling is always coupled with degradation.赌博总是与堕落相联系。

3 tormented   

饱受折磨的

参考例句：

• The knowledge of his guilt tormented him. 知道了自己的罪责使他非常痛苦。
• He had lain awake all night, tormented by jealousy. 他彻夜未眠，深受嫉妒的折磨。

4 plunged   

v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降

参考例句：

• The train derailed and plunged into the river. 火车脱轨栽进了河里。
• She lost her balance and plunged 100 feet to her death. 她没有站稳，从100英尺的高处跌下摔死了。

5 penetrate   

v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解

参考例句：

• Western ideas penetrate slowly through the East.西方观念逐渐传入东方。
• The sunshine could not penetrate where the trees were thickest.阳光不能透入树木最浓密的地方。

6 rein   

n.疆绳，统治，支配；vt.以僵绳控制，统治

参考例句：

• The horse answered to the slightest pull on the rein.只要缰绳轻轻一拉,马就作出反应。
• He never drew rein for a moment till he reached the river.他一刻不停地一直跑到河边。

7 atoned   

v.补偿，赎（罪）( atone的过去式和过去分词 )；补偿，弥补，赎回

参考例句：

• He atoned for his sin with life. 他以生命赎罪。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• She had atoned for everything by the sacrifice she had made of her life. 她用牺牲生命来抵偿了一切。 来自辞典例句

8 hideous   

adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的

参考例句：

• The whole experience had been like some hideous nightmare.整个经历就像一场可怕的噩梦。
• They're not like dogs,they're hideous brutes.它们不像狗，是丑陋的畜牲。

9 ordeal   

n.苦难经历，（尤指对品格、耐力的）严峻考验

参考例句：

• She managed to keep her sanity throughout the ordeal.在那场磨难中她始终保持神志正常。
• Being lost in the wilderness for a week was an ordeal for me.在荒野里迷路一星期对我来说真是一场磨难。

10 blasphemous   

adj.亵渎神明的，不敬神的

参考例句：

• The book was declared blasphemous and all copies ordered to be burnt.这本书被断定为亵渎神明之作，命令全数焚毀。
• The people in the room were shocked by his blasphemous language.满屋的人都对他那侮慢的语言感到愤慨。

11 utterance   

n.用言语表达，话语，言语

参考例句：

• This utterance of his was greeted with bursts of uproarious laughter.他的讲话引起阵阵哄然大笑。
• My voice cleaves to my throat,and sob chokes my utterance.我的噪子哽咽，泣不成声。

12 abasement   

n.滥用

参考例句：

• She despised herself when she remembered the utter self-abasement of the past. 当她回忆起过去的不折不扣的自卑时，她便瞧不起自己。
• In our world there will be no emotions except fear, rage, triumph, and self-abasement. 在我们的世界里，除了恐惧、狂怒、得意、自贬以外，没有别的感情。 来自英汉文学

13 repulsed   

v.击退( repulse的过去式和过去分词 )；驳斥；拒绝

参考例句：

• I was repulsed by the horrible smell. 这种可怕的气味让我恶心。
• At the first brush,the enemy was repulsed. 敌人在第一次交火时就被击退了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

14 gallows   

n.绞刑架，绞台

参考例句：

• The murderer was sent to the gallows for his crimes.谋杀犯由于罪大恶极被处以绞刑。
• Now I was to expiate all my offences at the gallows.现在我将在绞刑架上赎我一切的罪过。

15 lash   

v.系牢；鞭打；猛烈抨击；n.鞭打；眼睫毛

参考例句：

• He received a lash of her hand on his cheek.他突然被她打了一记耳光。
• With a lash of its tail the tiger leaped at her.老虎把尾巴一甩朝她扑过来。

16 wretch   

n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人

参考例句：

• You are really an ungrateful wretch to complain instead of thanking him.你不但不谢他，还埋怨他，真不知好歹。
• The dead husband is not the dishonoured wretch they fancied him.死去的丈夫不是他们所想象的不光彩的坏蛋。

17 indifference   

n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎

参考例句：

• I was disappointed by his indifference more than somewhat.他的漠不关心使我很失望。
• He feigned indifference to criticism of his work.他假装毫不在意别人批评他的作品。

18 rend   

vt.把…撕开，割裂；把…揪下来，强行夺取

参考例句：

• Her scrams would rend the heart of any man.她的喊叫声会撕碎任何人的心。
• Will they rend the child from his mother?他们会不会把这个孩子从他的母亲身边夺走呢？

19 miseries   

n.痛苦( misery的名词复数 )；痛苦的事；穷困；常发牢骚的人

参考例句：

• They forgot all their fears and all their miseries in an instant. 他们马上忘记了一切恐惧和痛苦。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• I'm suffering the miseries of unemployment. 我正为失业而痛苦。 来自《简明英汉词典》

20 bloody   

adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染

参考例句：

• He got a bloody nose in the fight.他在打斗中被打得鼻子流血。
• He is a bloody fool.他是一个十足的笨蛋。

21 cowardice   

n.胆小，怯懦

参考例句：

• His cowardice reflects on his character.他的胆怯对他的性格带来不良影响。
• His refusal to help simply pinpointed his cowardice.他拒绝帮助正显示他的胆小。

22 shreds   

v.撕碎，切碎( shred的第三人称单数 )；用撕毁机撕毁（文件）

参考例句：

• Peel the carrots and cut them into shreds. 将胡罗卜削皮，切成丝。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• I want to take this diary and rip it into shreds. 我真想一赌气扯了这日记。 来自汉英文学 - 中国现代小说

23 formerly   

adv.从前，以前

参考例句：

• We now enjoy these comforts of which formerly we had only heard.我们现在享受到了过去只是听说过的那些舒适条件。
• This boat was formerly used on the rivers of China.这船从前航行在中国内河里。

24 deigned   

v.屈尊，俯就( deign的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Carrie deigned no suggestion of hearing this. 嘉莉不屑一听。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
• Carrie scarcely deigned to reply. 嘉莉不屑回答。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹

25 callous   

adj.无情的，冷淡的，硬结的，起老茧的

参考例句：

• He is callous about the safety of his workers.他对他工人的安全毫不关心。
• She was selfish,arrogant and often callous.她自私傲慢，而且往往冷酷无情。

26 wondrous   

adj.令人惊奇的，奇妙的；adv.惊人地；异乎寻常地；令人惊叹地

参考例句：

• The internal structure of the Department is wondrous to behold.看一下国务院的内部结构是很有意思的。
• We were driven across this wondrous vast land of lakes and forests.我们乘车穿越这片有着湖泊及森林的广袤而神奇的土地。

27 confession   

n.自白，供认，承认

参考例句：

• Her confession was simply tantamount to a casual explanation.她的自白简直等于一篇即席说明。
• The police used torture to extort a confession from him.警察对他用刑逼供。

28 soothed   

v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 )；抚慰；使舒服；减轻痛苦

参考例句：

• The music soothed her for a while. 音乐让她稍微安静了一会儿。
• The soft modulation of her voice soothed the infant. 她柔和的声调使婴儿安静了。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

29 seclusion   

n.隐遁，隔离

参考例句：

• She liked to sunbathe in the seclusion of her own garden.她喜欢在自己僻静的花园里晒日光浴。
• I live very much in seclusion these days.这些天我过着几乎与世隔绝的生活。

30 speculative   

adj.思索性的，暝想性的，推理的

参考例句：

• Much of our information is speculative.我们的许多信息是带推测性的。
• The report is highly speculative and should be ignored.那个报道推测的成分很大，不应理会。

31 martyrs   

n.martyr的复数形式；烈士( martyr的名词复数 )；殉道者；殉教者；乞怜者（向人诉苦以博取同情）

参考例句：

• the early Christian martyrs 早期基督教殉道者
• They paid their respects to the revolutionary martyrs. 他们向革命烈士致哀。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

32 scoffed   

嘲笑，嘲弄( scoff的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He scoffed at our amateurish attempts. 他对我们不在行的尝试嗤之以鼻。
• A hundred years ago people scoffed at the idea. 一百年前人们曾嘲笑过这种想法。

33 creed   

n.信条；信念，纲领

参考例句：

• They offended against every article of his creed.他们触犯了他的每一条戒律。
• Our creed has always been that business is business.我们的信条一直是公私分明。

34 thongs   

的东西

参考例句：

• Things ain't what they used to be. 现在情况不比从前了。
• Things have been going badly . 事情进展得不顺利。

35 hissed   

发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 )； 发嘘声表示反对

参考例句：

• Have you ever been hissed at in the middle of a speech? 你在演讲中有没有被嘘过？
• The iron hissed as it pressed the wet cloth. 熨斗压在湿布上时发出了嘶嘶声。

36 piety   

n.虔诚，虔敬

参考例句：

• They were drawn to the church not by piety but by curiosity.他们去教堂不是出于虔诚而是出于好奇。
• Experience makes us see an enormous difference between piety and goodness.经验使我们看到虔诚与善意之间有着巨大的区别。

37 meekness   

n.温顺，柔和

参考例句：

• Amy sewed with outward meekness and inward rebellion till dusk. 阿密阳奉阴违地一直缝到黄昏。 来自辞典例句
• 'I am pretty well, I thank you,' answered Mr. Lorry, with meekness; 'how are you?' “很好，谢谢，”罗瑞先生回答，态度温驯，“你好么？” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记

38 admonishing   

v.劝告( admonish的现在分词 )；训诫；（温和地）责备；轻责

参考例句：

• It is waste of time, admonishing you. 劝告你简直是浪费工夫。 来自辞典例句
• To date, the Doctrine of Cheng Fu still exerts its admonishing effect. 时至今日，承负说仍具有警示作用。 来自互联网

39 utterly   

adv.完全地，绝对地

参考例句：

• Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民，把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。
• I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。

40 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

41 Christian   

adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒

参考例句：

• They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
• His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。

42 sullenness   

n. 愠怒, 沉闷, 情绪消沉

参考例句：

• His bluster sank to sullenness under her look. 在她目光逼视下，他蛮横的表情稍加收敛，显出一副阴沉的样子。
• Marked by anger or sullenness. 怒气冲冲的，忿恨的。

43 obstinacy   

n.顽固；（病痛等）难治

参考例句：

• It is a very accountable obstinacy.这是一种完全可以理解的固执态度。
• Cindy's anger usually made him stand firm to the point of obstinacy.辛迪一发怒，常常使他坚持自见，并达到执拗的地步。

44 judgment   

n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见

参考例句：

• The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
• He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。

45 immortality   

n.不死，不朽

参考例句：

• belief in the immortality of the soul 灵魂不灭的信念
• It was like having immortality while you were still alive. 仿佛是当你仍然活着的时候就得到了永生。

46 vengeance   

n.报复，报仇，复仇

参考例句：

• He swore vengeance against the men who murdered his father.他发誓要向那些杀害他父亲的人报仇。
• For years he brooded vengeance.多年来他一直在盘算报仇。

47 spurt   

v.喷出；突然进发；突然兴隆

参考例句：

• He put in a spurt at the beginning of the eighth lap.他进入第八圈时便开始冲刺。
• After a silence, Molly let her anger spurt out.沉默了一会儿，莫莉的怒气便迸发了出来。

48 thither   

adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的

参考例句：

• He wandered hither and thither looking for a playmate.他逛来逛去找玩伴。
• He tramped hither and thither.他到处流浪。

49 ushered   

v.引，领，陪同( usher的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The secretary ushered me into his office. 秘书把我领进他的办公室。
• A round of parties ushered in the New Year. 一系列的晚会迎来了新年。 来自《简明英汉词典》