Chapter 1 
MY father's family name being Pirrip, and my christian name Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than Pip. So, I called myself Pip, and came to be called Pip. 
I give Pirrip as my father's family name, on the authority of his tombstone and my sister - Mrs Joe Gargery, who married the blacksmith. As I never saw my father or my mother, and never saw any likeness of either of them (for their days were long before the days of photographs), my first fancies regarding what they were like, were unreasonably derived from their tombstones. The shape of the letters on my father's, gave me an odd idea that he was a square, stout, dark man, with curly black hair. From the character and turn of the inscription, `Also Georgiana Wife of the Above,' I drew a childish conclusion that my mother was freckled and sickly. To five little stone lozenges, each about a foot and a half long, which were arranged in a neat row beside their grave, and were sacred to the memory of five little brothers of mine - who gave up trying to get a living, exceedingly early in that universal struggle - I am indebted for a belief I religiously entertained that they had all been born on their backs with their hands in their trousers-pockets, and had never taken them out in this state of existence.
Ours was the marsh country, down by the river, within, as the river wound, twenty miles of the sea. My first most vivid and broad impression of the identity of things, seems to me to have been gained on a memorable raw afternoon towards evening. At such a time I found out for certain, that this bleak place overgrown with nettles was the churchyard; and that Philip Pirrip, late of this parish, and also Georgiana wife of the above, were dead and buried; and that Alexander, Bartholomew, Abraham, Tobias, and Roger, infant children of the aforesaid, were also dead and buried; and that the dark flat wilderness beyond the churchyard, intersected with dykes and mounds and gates, with scattered cattle feeding on it, was the marshes; and that the low leaden line beyond, was the river; and that the distant savage lair from which the wind was rushing, was the sea; and that the small bundle of shivers growing afraid of it all and beginning to cry, was Pip.
`Hold your noise!' cried a terrible voice, as a man started up from among the graves at the side of the church porch. `Keep still, you little devil, or I'll cut your throat!'
A fearful man, all in coarse grey, with a great iron on his leg. A man with no hat, and with broken shoes, and with an old rag tied round his head. A man who had been soaked in water, and smothered in mud, and lamed by stones, and cut by flints, and stung by nettles, and torn by briars; who limped, and shivered, and glared and growled; and whose teeth chattered in his head as he seized me by the chin.
`O! Don't cut my throat, sir,' I pleaded in terror. `Pray don't do it, sir.'
`Tell us your name!' said the man. `Quick!'
`Pip, sir.'
`Once more,' said the man, staring at me. `Give it mouth!'
`Pip. Pip, sir.'
`Show us where you live,' said the man. `Pint out the place!'
I pointed to where our village lay, on the flat in-shore among the alder-trees and pollards, a mile or more from the church.
The man, after looking at me for a moment, turned me upside down, and emptied my pockets. There was nothing in them but a piece of bread. When the church came to itself - for he was so sudden and strong that he made it go head over heels before me, and I saw the steeple under my feet - when the church came to itself, I say, I was seated on a high tombstone, trembling, while he ate the bread ravenously.
`You young dog,' said the man, licking his lips, `what fat cheeks you ha' got.'
I believe they were fat, though I was at that time undersized for my years, and not strong.
`Darn Me if I couldn't eat em,' said the man, with a threatening shake of his head, `and if I han't half a mind to't!'
I earnestly expressed my hope that he wouldn't, and held tighter to the tombstone on which he had put me; partly, to keep myself upon it; partly, to keep myself from crying.
`Now lookee here!' said the man. `Where's your mother?'
`There, sir!' said I.
He started, made a short run, and stopped and looked over his shoulder.
`There, sir!' I timidly explained. `Also Georgiana. That's my mother.'
`Oh!' said he, coming back. `And is that your father alonger your mother?'
`Yes, sir,' said I; `him too; late of this parish.'
`Ha!' he muttered then, considering. `Who d'ye live with - supposin' you're kindly let to live, which I han't made up my mind about?'
`My sister, sir - Mrs Joe Gargery - wife of Joe Gargery, the blacksmith, sir.'
`Blacksmith, eh?' said he. And looked down at his leg.
After darkly looking at his leg and me several times, he came closer to my tombstone, took me by both arms, and tilted me back as far as he could hold me; so that his eyes looked most powerfully down into mine, and mine looked most helplessly up into his.
`Now lookee here,' he said, `the question being whether you're to be let to live. You know what a file is?'
`Yes, sir.'
`And you know what wittles is?'
`Yes, sir.'
After each question he titled me over a little more, so as to give me a greater sense of helplessness and danger.
`You get me a file.' He tilted me again. `And you get me wittles.' He tilted me again. `You bring 'em both to me.' He tilted me again. `Or I'll have your heart and liver out.' He tilted me again.
I was dreadfully frightened, and so giddy that I clung to him with both hands, and said, `If you would kindly please to let me keep upright, sir, perhaps I shouldn't be sick, and perhaps I could attend more.'
He gave me a most tremendous dip and roll, so that the church jumped over its own weather-cock. Then, he held me by the arms, in an upright position on the top of the stone, and went on in these fearful terms:
`You bring me, to-morrow morning early, that file and them wittles. You bring the lot to me, at that old Battery over yonder. You do it, and you never dare to say a word or dare to make a sign concerning your having seen such a person as me, or any person sumever, and you shall be let to live. You fail, or you go from my words in any partickler, no matter how small it is, and your heart and your liver shall be tore out, roasted and ate. Now, I ain't alone, as you may think I am. There's a young man hid with me, in comparison with which young man I am a Angel. That young man hears the words I speak. That young man has a secret way pecooliar to himself, of getting at a boy, and at his heart, and at his liver. It is in wain for a boy to attempt to hide himself from that young man. A boy may lock his door, may be warm in bed, may tuck himself up, may draw the clothes over his head, may think himself comfortable and safe, but that young man will softly creep and creep his way to him and tear him open. I am a keeping that young man from harming of you at the present moment, with great difficulty. I find it wery hard to hold that young man off of your inside. Now, what do you say?'
I said that I would get him the file, and I would get him what broken bits of food I could, and I would come to him at the Battery, early in the morning.
`Say Lord strike you dead if you don't!' said the man.
I said so, and he took me down.
`Now,' he pursued, `you remember what you've undertook, and you remember that young man, and you get home!'
`Goo-good night, sir,' I faltered.
`Much of that!' said he, glancing about him over the cold wet flat. `I wish I was a frog. Or a eel!'
At the same time, he hugged his shuddering body in both his arms - clasping himself, as if to hold himself together - and limped towards the low church wall. As I saw him go, picking his way among the nettles, and among the brambles that bound the green mounds, he looked in my young eyes as if he were eluding the hands of the dead people, stretching up cautiously out of their graves, to get a twist upon his ankle and pull him in.
When he came to the low church wall, he got over it, like a man whose legs were numbed and stiff, and then turned round to look for me. When I saw him turning, I set my face towards home, and made the best use of my legs. But presently I looked over my shoulder, and saw him going on again towards the river, still hugging himself in both arms, and picking his way with his sore feet among the great stones dropped into the marshes here and there, for stepping-places when the rains were heavy, or the tide was in.
The marshes were just a long black horizontal line then, as I stopped to look after him; and the river was just another horizontal line, not nearly so broad not yet so black; and the sky was just a row of long angry red lines and dense black lines intermixed. On the edge of the river I could faintly make out the only two black things in all the prospect that seemed to be standing upright; one of these was the beacon by which the sailors steered - like an unhooped cask upon a pole - an ugly thing when you were near it; the other a gibbet, with some chains hanging to it which had once held a pirate. The man was limping on towards this latter, as if he were the pirate come to life, and come down, and going back to hook himself up again. If gave me a terrible turn when I thought so; and as I saw the cattle lifting their heads to gaze after him, I wondered whether they thought so too. I looked all round for the horrible young man, and could see no sings of him. But, now I was frightened again, and ran home without stopping.
 
我父亲的姓是皮利普，而我的教名是菲利普。在我幼年时期，无论是皮利普还是菲利普，我既发不出这么长的音节，又咬字不清，只能发出皮普。所以，我干脆就把自己叫做皮普，以后别人也就跟着叫我皮普了。
我说皮利普是我父亲的姓，那是有根据的，因为我父亲的墓碑上刻着他的姓，而且我姐姐也这么说。我姐姐嫁给了铁匠乔•葛奇里，现在是葛奇里夫人了。至于我，从来没有见到过父亲和母亲，也没有看到过他们两位的照片（其实在他们的时代还不知道什么是照片呢）。最初在我的想象中也有父母亲的模样，那是根据他们的墓碑字形乱造出来的。我父亲墓碑上的字体使我产生了一个奇怪的想法，认为他是个方方正正。胖胖墩墩的黑皮汉子，有一头的黑色鬈发。再看看墓碑上镌刻的另外几个字。“及上述者之妻乔其雅娜”，我又得出一个幼稚的结论：我的母亲脸上生着雀斑，而且体弱多病。在我父母的坟边，整齐地排着五块小小的菱形石碑，每一块大约有一英尺半高。这就是我五位小兄长的坟墓。在这大千世界的现实斗争中，他们早早地放弃了求生，一个接一个离世而去。此情此景，使我萌生出一种类似宗教情感的信念，坚信我的五位小兄长一生出来就双手插在裤袋里，面孔朝天，而且从来没有把手拿出来过，和现在躺在墓中的样子相同。
我们的家乡是一片沼泽地区。那儿有一条河流。沿河蜿蜒而下，到海不足二十英里。我领略世面最初、最生动的印象似乎得自于一个令人难以忘怀的下午，而且正是向晚时分。就在那时我才弄清楚，这一片长满荨麻的荒凉之地正是乡村的教堂墓地；已故的本教区居民菲利普•皮利普及上述者之妻乔其雅娜已死，双双埋葬于此；还有阿历克山大、巴斯奥鲁米、亚布拉罕、特比亚斯和罗吉尔，他们的五位婴儿已死，也都埋葬于此。就在那时我才弄清楚，在这坟场的前面，一片幽暗平坦的荒凉之地便是沼泽，那里沟渠纵横，小丘起伏，闸门交错，还有散布的零星牲畜，四处寻食；从沼泽地再往前的那一条低低的铅灰色水平线正是河流；而那更远的、像未开化的洞穴并刮起狂风的地方，自然就是大海。就在那时我才弄清楚，面对这片景色而越来越感到害怕，并哇地一声哭起来的小不点儿，正是我皮普。
“闭嘴！”突然响起一声令人毛骨悚然的叫喊，同时，有一个人从教堂门廊一边的墓地里蹿了出来。“不许出声，你这个小鬼精；你只要一出声我就掐断你的脖子！”
这是一个面容狰狞的人，穿了一身劣质的灰色衣服，腿上挂了一条粗大沉重的铁镣。他头上没有帽子，只用一块破布扎住头，脚上的鞋已经破烂。看上去他曾在水中浸泡过，在污泥中忍受过煎熬。他的腿被石头碰伤了，脚又被小石块割破，荨麻的针刺和荆棘的拉刺使得他身上出现一道道伤口。他一跛一跛地走着，全身发着抖，还瞪着双眼吼叫着。他一把抓住我的下巴，而他嘴巴里的牙齿在格格打战。
“噢，先生，不要扭断我的脖子，”我惊恐地哀求着，“请你不要这样对待我，先生，我求你了。”
“告诉我你叫什么名字！”那个人说道，“快讲！”
“我叫皮普，先生。”
“你再说一遍！”那人说着，目光紧紧地盯住我，“张开嘴说清楚些。”
“皮普，皮普，先生。”
“告诉我你住在哪里，”那人说道，“把方向指给我看！”
我把我们村子的位置指给他看。村子就坐落在距离教堂一英里多远的平坦河岸上，四周矗立着赤杨树和截梢树。
这人打量了我一会儿，便把我头朝下地倒拎起来，我口袋里的东西也就掉了下来。其实口袋里只有一片面包，没有任何别的东西。等教堂又恢复原状时——因为刚才他猛然把我头朝下地翻了个个儿，我看到教堂的尖顶在我的脚下——而现在，我是说，教堂又恢复了原样时，我已经被他按坐在一块高高的墓碑上，全身打着哆嗦，而他却狼吞虎咽地吃起了那块面包。
“你这条小狗，”他一面舔着嘴唇，一面说道，“你这张小脸蛋倒生得肥肥的。”
从我的年龄来说，虽然我的个头不大，体质也不强壮，但是我的脸蛋儿确实有些肥。
“他妈的，我吃不了你的脸蛋儿才怪呢，”他说着，威胁性地摇晃了一下脑袋，“我真想把你这脸蛋吃掉。”
我连忙恳切地希望他无论如何不要吃我的脸蛋儿，同时紧紧地抓住他把我按上去的那块墓碑。这样，一则我可以坐稳不至于摔下来，二则可以忍住眼泪不至于哭出来。
“看着我，”那人说道，“你妈妈在什么地方？”
“在那里，先生。”我答道。
听了我的话，他大吃一惊，立刻拔脚就逃，跑了几步又停下来，口过头看了看。
“就在那里，先生！”我心惊肉跳地向他解释着，“那里写着乔其雅娜几个字，那就是我的妈妈。”
“噢！”他说道，又跑了回来，“那么和你妈妈葬在一起的是你的爸爸喽？”
我答道：“一点不错，先生，是我爸爸。那里写着‘已故的本教区居民’。”
“哈！”他嘟嘟哝哝、若有所思地说道，“你和谁住在一起——假设我不杀你，让你活下去，你和谁一起生活？当然，我还没有决定究竟让不让你活下去。”
“我和姐姐一起生活，先生，她就是乔•葛奇里夫人，也就是铁匠乔•葛奇里的妻子，先生。”
“哦，是铁匠？”他一面说着，一面低下头去看他的腿。
他忧郁而又阴沉地看看他的腿，又看看我。这么来回看了几次之后，他走近我坐着的墓碑，两手抓住我的双肩，尽量把我的身体向后按，以使他那双威严无比、咄咄逼人的眼睛紧盯着我的双眼，似乎眼光射进了我的眼球深处，而我的两眼只能无可奈何地仰望着他的眼睛。
他对我说道：“仔细听着，现在的问题是究竟让不让你活。我问你，你懂不懂什么是锉子？”
“懂，先生。”
“我再问你，你懂不懂什么是食物？”
“懂，先生。”
他每提出一个问题，便把我的身体向后按一点儿，为的是使我感到无路可走，危险迫在眼前。
“我要你给弄一把锉子来，”他把我又按了一下说，“再给我弄些吃的东西来。”说着，他又把我向后按了一下。“这两样东西都要拿来。”他再一次把我向后按。“你要不拿来，我就把你的心肝五脏都掏出来。”说完，他又把我向后按了一下。
我简直怕得要命，给弄得头晕目眩，禁不住用双手把他紧紧抓住。我对他说：“请你大发慈悲吧，让我的身体直起来，再这样说不定我会吐出来，身体一直我就会听清楚你讲的究竟是什么了。”
于是他猛力地把我一推，使我滚到地上，这一滚似乎连教堂都跳了起来，而且跳得比屋顶上面的定风针还要高。然后，他又抓住我的两臂，把我提到墓碑的上头，直坐在上面，而他却继续讲着那些令人恐惧的话。
“明天一大清早，你要把锉子和吃的东西带给我。你要把这些东西都送到那边的老炮台前给我。你为我办事，而且不透半句风声，不露一丝痕迹，不让任何人知道你遇到一个像我这样的人，或者遇到过什么人，我才会留你一条活命。要是你不给我办事，或者你哪怕有半句话不听我的，不论这话多么微不足道，我一定会把你的心肝五脏挖出来，放在火上烤熟，再把它们吃掉。你要晓得，不要以为我只是孤零零一个人，和我一块儿正躲着一个年轻小伙子呢。你别以为我是个恶魔，和那个年轻伙伴比起来，我简直是个天使。他正躲在那儿听我们讲话。这个年轻人还有一套奇特的秘密方法，会捉小男孩，挖出小男孩的心吃，然后再挖出肝来吃。小孩子想让这个年轻人不知道他，想躲着年轻人都是不行的。即使小孩子锁上了房门，睡在温暖的床上，用被子裹住自己，再把衣服蒙在头上，以为自己既舒服又保险，可这青年人会轻轻地爬呀，爬呀，一直爬到小孩的床边，把他的胸膛撕开。不过你放心，我现在花了很大的劲，已经使这个青年人不会加害你。当然，我也没法子让他永远不伤害你，因为这是很难的。好了，现在你有什么要说的？”
我说我一定带给他一把锉子，一定为他带些吃的东西，哪怕只能是残剩粗食。我说明天一大清早我一定会来到炮台前把东西交给他。
“那么你发誓，要是你不送来，天主就用雷电劈死你。”那人说道。
我照他的活起了誓，他这才把我从墓碑顶上抱下来，并且继续说道：
“听着，不要忘记你说过的话、该做的事；也不要忘记那个年轻人。现在，你可以回家了。”
“晚——晚安，先生！”我吓得连话也说不清楚了。
“够了，不要再说了！”他说着，用目光扫视着四周一片阴冷潮湿的沼泽滩地。“我真希望变成一只青蛙，要么，一条泥鳅也行。”
他一边咒骂着，一边用两条胳膊紧紧地抱住自己发抖的身体，好像一不抱紧，整副身体的骨架就要散掉。他抬起两条伤腿一跛一拐地向着低矮的教堂围墙走去。我看着他离开，走进了尊麻丛生、荆棘萦绕、长满青草的坟堆之中。从我幼稚的想象出发，他好像在躲闪坟中死人伸出来的手，生怕它们一把拖住他的脚踝，把他拉进坟墓同住。
他走到那堵低矮的教堂围墙前，从墙头上爬过去。他的两条腿看上去简直冻得麻木僵直，不听使唤了。过了墙头，他又回过头来望了望我。看到他转过脸，我立刻头也不回地朝着家里奔去，拼命地迈动着我的两条腿。然后，我掉过头，看到他正朝着大河走去。他仍然把身体紧紧地用两条臂膀裹着，拖着疼痛的双脚在许多大石块中拣道而行。因为这里是一片沼泽地，一遇大雨，或者潮水上涌，就难以通行，所以把大石块放在沼泽地中可以作为垫脚石。
在我停下来用目光追随着他的身影时，整个沼泽地已成为一条既长又黑的水平线，而那条河流却成为另一条水平线，虽然它没有前者那么宽，那么黑。这时的天空已变成一行交织的带子，怒红浓黑相间。我模模糊糊地分辨出，在大河边上直挺挺地站着两个幽灵般的黑东西。其中之一是航标灯，水手就要依靠它来掌舵。这航标灯好像是一只脱了箍的桶，高挂在杆子上。你越是走近它，它越显得丑陋。另一个黑东西是绞刑架，还有一根铁链悬在上面。那里曾经吊死过一个海盗。现在，那人正一瘸一拐地向着绞刑架走去，仿佛他就是复活了的海盗，已经从绞刑架上走下来，现在正回去重新吊上绞刑架。我如此想着。这可怕的想象使我毛骨悚然。吃草的牲畜也抬起头凝视着他的身影，我真想知道，牛儿所想是否和我的一样。我环视四周，寻找那个令人恐怖的年轻人，然而连一点迹象也没有。这时，我惊慌失措，没命地向家里奔去，再也不敢停留一下。
Chapter 2
MY sister, Mrs Joe Gargery, was more than twenty years older than I, and had established a great reputation with herself and the neighbours because she had brought me up `by hand'. Having at that time to find out for myself what the expression meant, and knowing her to have a hard and heavy hand, and to be much in the habit of laying it upon her husband as well as upon me, I supposed that Joe Gargery and I were both brought up by hand. 
She was not a good-looking woman, my sister; and I had a general impression that she must have made Joe Gargery marry her by hand. Joe was a fair man, with curls of flaxen hair on each side of his smooth face, and with eyes of such a very undecided blue that they seemed to have somehow got mixed with their own whites. He was a mild, good-natured, sweet-tempered, easy-going, foolish, dear fellow - a sort of Hercules in strength, and also in weakness.
My sister, Mrs Joe, with black hair and eyes, had such a prevailing redness of skin that I sometimes used to wonder whether it was possible she washed herself with a nutmeg-grater instead of soap. She was tall and bony, and almost always wore a coarse apron, fastened over her figure behind with two loops, and having a square impregnable bib in front, that was stuck full of pins and needles. She made it a powerful merit in herself, and a strong reproach against Joe, that she wore this apron so much. Though I really see no reason why she should have worn it at all: or why, if she did wear it at all, she should not have taken it off, every day of her life.
Joe's forge adjoined our house, which was a wooden house, as many of the dwellings in our country were - most of them, at that time. When I ran home from the churchyard, the forge was shut up, and Joe was sitting alone in the kitchen. Joe and I being fellow-sufferers, and having confidences as such, Joe imparted a confidence to me, the moment I raised the latch of the door and peeped in at him opposite to it, sitting in the chimney corner.
`Mrs Joe has been out a dozen times, looking for you, Pip. And she's out now, making it a baker's dozen.'
`Is she?'
`Yes, Pip,' said Joe; `and what's worse, she's got Tickler with her.'
At this dismal intelligence, I twisted the only button on my waistcoat round and round, and looked in great depression at the fire. Tickler was a wax-ended piece of cane, worn smooth by collision with my tickled frame.
`She sot down,' said Joe, `and she got up, and she made a grab at Tickler, and she Ram-paged out. That's what she did,' said Joe, slowly clearing the fire between the lower bars with the poker, and looking at it: `she Ram-paged out, Pip.'
`Has she been gone long, Joe?' I always treated him as a larger species of child, and as no more than my equal.
`Well,' said Joe, glancing up at the Dutch clock, `she's been on the Ram-page, this last spell, about five minutes, Pip. She's a coming! Get behind the door, old chap, and have the jack-towel betwixt you.'
I took the advice. My sister, Mrs Joe, throwing the door wide open, and finding an obstruction behind it, immediately divined the cause, and applied Tickler to its further investigation. She concluded by throwing me - I often served as a connubial missile - at Joe, who, glad to get hold of me on any terms, passed me on into the chimney and quietly fenced me up there with his great leg.
`Where have you been, you young monkey?' said Mrs Joe, stamping her foot. `Tell me directly what you've been doing to wear me away with fret and fright and worrit, or I'd have you out of that corner if you was fifty Pips, and he was five hundred Gargerys.'
`I have only been to the churchyard,' said I, from my stool, crying and rubbing myself.
`Churchyard!' repeated my sister. `If it warn't for me you'd have been to the churchyard long ago, and stayed there. Who brought you up by hand?'
`You did,' said I.
`And why did I do it, I should like to know?' exclaimed my sister.
I whimpered, `I don't know.'
`I don't! said my sister. `I'd never do it again! I know that. I may truly say I've never had this apron of mine off, since born you were. It's bad enough to be a blacksmith's wife (and him a Gargery) without being your mother.'
My thoughts strayed from that question as I looked disconsolately at the fire. For, the fugitive out on the marshes with the ironed leg, the mysterious young man, the file, the food, and the dreadful pledge I was under to commit a larceny on those sheltering premises, rose before me in the avenging coals.
`Hah!' said Mrs Joe, restoring Tickler to his station. `Churchyard, indeed! You may well say churchyard, you two.' One of us, by-the-bye, had not said it at all. `You'll drive me to the churchyard betwixt you, one of these days, and oh, a pr-r-recious pair you'd be without me!'
As she applied herself to set the tea-things, Joe peeped down at me over his leg, as if he were mentally casting me and himself up, and calculating what kind of pair we practically should make, under the grievous circumstances foreshadowed. After that, he sat feeling his right-side flaxen curls and whisker, and following Mrs Joe about with his blue eyes, as his manner always was at squally times.
My sister had a trenchant way of cutting our bread-and-butter for us, that never varied. First, with her left hand she jammed the loaf hard and fast against her bib - where it sometimes got a pin into it, and sometimes a needle, which we afterwards got into our mouths. Then she took some butter (not too much) on a knife and spread it on the loaf, in an apothecary kind of way, as if she were making a plaister - using both sides of the knife with a slapping dexterity, and trimming and moulding the butter off round the crust. Then, she gave the knife a final smart wipe on the edge of the plaister, and then sawed a very thick round off the loaf: which she finally, before separating from the loaf, hewed into two halves, of which Joe got one, and I the other.
On the present occasion, though I was hungry, I dared not eat my slice. I felt that I must have something in reserve for my dreadful acquaintance, and his ally the still more dreadful young man. I knew Mrs. Joe's housekeeping to be of the strictest kind, and that my larcenous researches might find nothing available in the safe. Therefore I resolved to put my hunk of bread-and-butter down the leg of my trousers.
The effort of resolution necessary to the achievement of this purpose, I found to be quite awful. It was as if I had to make up my mind to leap from the top of a high house, or plunge into a great depth of water. And it was made the more difficult by the unconscious Joe. In our already-mentioned freemasonry as fellow-sufferers, and in his good-natured companionship with me, it was our evening habit to compare the way we bit through out slices, by silently holding them up to each other's admiration now and then - which stimulated us to new exertions. To-night, Joe several times invited me, by the display of his fast-diminishing slice, to enter upon our usual friendly competition; but he found me, each time, with my yellow mug of tea on one knee, and my untouched bread-and-butter on the other. At last, I desperately considered that the thing I contemplated must be done, and that it had best be done in the least improbable manner consistent with the circumstances. I took advantage of a moment when Joe had just looked at me, and got my bread-and-butter down my leg.
Joe was evidently made uncomfortable by what he supposed to be my loss of appetite, and took a thoughtful bite out of his slice, which he didn't seem to enjoy. He turned it about in his mouth much longer than usual, pondering over it a good deal, and after all gulped it down like a pill. He was about to take another bite, and had just got his head on one side for a good purchase on it, when his eye fell on me, and he saw that my bread-and-butter was gone.
The wonder and consternation with which Joe stopped on the threshold of his bite and stared at me, were too evident to escape my sister's observation.
`What's the matter now?' said she, smartly, as she put down her cup.
`I say, you know!' muttered Joe, shaking his head at me in very serious remonstrance. `Pip, old chap! You'll do yourself a mischief. It'll stick somewhere. You can't have chawed it, Pip.'
`What's the matter now?' repeated my sister, more sharply than before.
`If you can cough any trifle on it up, Pip, I'd recommend you to do it,' said Joe, all aghast. `Manners is manners, but still your elth's your elth.'
By this time, my sister was quite desperate, so she pounced on Joe, and, taking him by the two whiskers, knocked his head for a little while against the wall behind him: while I sat in the corner, looking guiltily on.
`Now, perhaps you'll mention what's the matter,' said my sister, out of breath, `you staring great stuck pig.'
Joe looked at her in a helpless way; then took a helpless bite, and looked at me again.
`You know, Pip,' said Joe, solemnly, with his last bite in his cheek and speaking in a confidential voice, as if we two were quite alone, `you and me is always friends, and I'd be the last to tell upon you, any time. But such a--' he moved his chair and looked about the floor between us, and then again at me - `such a most oncommon Bolt as that!'
`Been bolting his food, has he?' cried my sister.
`You know, old chap,' said Joe, looking at me, and not at Mrs Joe, with his bite still in his cheek, `I Bolted, myself, when I was your age - frequent - and as a boy I've been among a many Bolters; but I never see your Bolting equal yet, Pip, and it's a mercy you ain't Bolted dead.'
My sister made a dive at me, and fished me up by the hair: saying nothing more than the awful words, `You come along and be dosed.'
Some medical beast had revived Tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new fence. On this particular evening the urgency of my case demanded a pint of this mixture, which was poured down my throat, for my greater comfort, while Mrs Joe held my head under her arm, as a boot would be held in a boot-jack. Joe got off with half a pint; but was made to swallow that (much to his disturbance, as he sat slowly munching and meditating before the fire), `because he had a turn.' Judging from myself, I should say he certainly had a turn afterwards, if he had had none before.
Conscience is a dreadful thing when it accuses man or boy; but when, in the case of a boy, that secret burden co-operates with another secret burden down the leg of his trousers, it is (as I can testify) a great punishment. The guilty knowledge that I was going to rob Mrs Joe - I never thought I was going to rob Joe, for I never thought of any of the housekeeping property as his - united to the necessity of always keeping one hand on my bread-and-butter as I sat, or when I was ordered about the kitchen on any small errand, almost drove me out of my mind. Then, as the marsh winds made the fire glow and flare, I thought I heard the voice outside, of the man with the iron on his leg who had sworn me to secrecy, declaring that he couldn't and wouldn't starve until to-morrow, but must be fed now. At other times, I thought, What if the young man who was with so much difficulty restrained from imbruing his hands in me, should yield to a constitutional impatience, or should mistake the time, and should think himself accredited to my heart and liver to-night, instead of to-morrow!If ever anybody's hair stood on end with terror, mine must have done so then. But, perhaps, nobody's ever did?
I was Christmas Eve, and I had to stir the pudding for next day, with a copper-stick, from seven to eight by the Dutch clock. I tried it with the load upon my leg (and that made me think afresh of the man with the load on his leg), and found the tendency of exercise to bring the bread-and-butter out at my ankle, quite unmanageable. Happily, I slipped away, and deposited that part of my conscience in my garret bedroom.
`Hark!' said I, when I had done my stirring, and was taking a final warm in the chimney corner before being sent up to bed; `was that great guns, Joe?'
`Ah!' said Joe. `There's another conwict off.'
`What does that mean, Joe?' said I.
Mrs Joe, who always took explanations upon herself, said, snappishly, `Escaped. Escaped.' Administering the definition like Tar-water.
While Mrs Joe sat with her head bending over her needlework, I put my mouth into the forms of saying to Joe, `What's a convict?' Joe put his mouth into the forms of returning such a highly elaborate answer, that I could make out nothing of it but the single word `Pip.'
`There was a conwict off last night,' said Joe, aloud, `after sun-set-gun. And they fired warning of him. And now, it appears they're firing warning of another.'
`Who's firing?' said I.
`Drat that boy,' interposed my sister, frowning at me over her work, `what a questioner he is. Ask no questions, and you'll be told no lies.'
I was not very polite to herself, I thought, to imply that I should be told lies by her, even if I did ask questions. But she never was polite, unless there was company.
At this point, Joe greatly augmented my curiosity by taking the utmost pains to open his mouth very wide, and to put it into the form of a word that looked to me like `sulks.' Therefore, I naturally pointed to Mrs Joe, and put my mouth into the form of saying `her?' But Joe wouldn't hear of that, at all, and again opened his mouth very wide, and shook the form of a most emphatic word out of it. But I could make nothing of the word.
`Mrs Joe,' said I, as a last resource, `I should like to know - if you wouldn't much mind - where the firing comes from?'
`Lord bless the boy!' exclaimed my sister, as if she didn't quite mean that, but rather the contrary. `From the Hulks!'
`Oh-h!' said I, looking at Joe. `Hulks!'
Joe gave a reproachful cough, as much as to say, `Well, I told you so.'
`And please what's Hulks?' said I.
`That's the way with this boy!' exclaimed my sister, pointing me out with her needle and thread, and shaking her head at me. `Answer him one question, and he'll ask you a dozen directly. Hulks are prison-ships, right 'cross th' meshes.' We always used that name for marshes, in our country.
`I wonder who's put into prison-ships, and why they're put there?' said I, in a general way, and with quiet desperation.
It was too much for Mrs Joe, who immediately rose. `I tell you what, young fellow,' said she, `I didn't bring you up by hand to badger people's lives out. It would be blame to me, and not praise, if I had. People are put in the Hulks because they murder, and because they rob, and forge, and do all sorts of bad; and they always begin by asking questions. Now, you get along to bed!'
I was never allowed a candle to light me to bed, and, as I went upstairs in the dark, with my head tingling - from Mrs Joe's thimble having played the tambourine upon it, to accompany her last words - I felt fearfully sensible of the great convenience that the Hulks were handy for me. I was clearly on my way there. I had begun by asking questions, and I was going to rob Mrs Joe.
Since that time, which is far enough away now, I have often thought that few people know what secrecy there is in the young, under terror. No matter how unreasonable the terror, so that it be terror. I was in mortal terror of the young man who wanted my heart and liver; I was in mortal terror of my interlocutor with the ironed leg; I was in mortal terror of myself, from whom an awful promise had been extracted; I had no hope of deliverance through my all-powerful sister, who repulsed me at every turn; I am afraid to think of what I might have done, on requirement, in the secrecy of my terror.
If I slept at all that night, it was only to imagine myself drifting down the river on a strong spring-tide, to the Hulks; a ghostly pirate calling out to me through a speaking-trumpet, as I passed the gibbet-station, that I had better come ashore and be hanged there at once, and not put it off. I was afraid to sleep, even if I had been inclined, for I knew that at the first faint dawn of morning I must rob the pantry. There was no doing it in the night, for there was no getting a light by easy friction then; to have got one, I must have struck it out of flint and steel, and have made a noise like the very pirate himself rattling his chains.
As soon as the great black velvet pall outside my little window was shot with grey, I got up and went down stairs; every board upon the way, and every crack in every board, calling after me, `Stop thief!' and `Get up, Mrs Joe!' In the pantry, which was far more abundantly supplied than usual, owing to the season, I was very much alarmed, by a hare hanging up by the heels, whom I rather thought I caught, when my back was half turned, winking. I had no time for verification, no time for selection, no time for anything, for I had no time to spare. I stole some bread, some rind of cheese, about half a jar of mincemeat (which I tied up in my pocket-handkerchief with my last night's slice), some brandy from a stone bottle (which I decanted into a glass bottle I had secretly used for making that intoxicating fluid, Spanish-liquorice-water, up in my room: diluting the stone bottle from a jug in the kitchen cupboard), a meat bone with very little on it, and a beautiful round compact pork pie. I was nearly going away without the pie, but I was tempted to mount upon a shelf, to look what it was that was put away so carefully in a covered earthen ware dish in a corner, and I found it was the pie, and I took it, in the hope that it was not intended for early use, and would not be missed for some time.
There was a door in the kitchen, communicating with the forge; I unlocked and unbolted that door, and got a file from among Joe's tools. Then, I put the fastenings as I had found them, opened the door at which I had entered when I ran home last night, shut it, and ran for the misty marshes.
 
我的姐姐乔•葛奇里夫人比我要年长二十多岁。她一直说我是由她一手带大的，因此在左邻右舍享有很大名气，倍受夸奖。从小我就想了解这里的“一手”究竟是什么含义。我所知道的她的手，是结实笨重而又冷酷严厉的，因为她特别喜欢把她的巴掌打在她丈夫的身上，当然也喜欢打在我的身上。我想乔•葛奇里和我就是这样由她一手带大的吧。
我的姐姐并不是一位标致的女人。我有一个总体的印象，她一定是想方设法才使乔•葛奇里娶她为妻的。乔是一位皮肤洁白的男士，两顿光滑，双鬓留着金色的鬈发，一双明眸发出淡蓝色的光，淡得几乎和眼自混成一体，难以分辨。他性情温和柔顺，心肠善良，脾气平和，平易近人。虽带有三分傻气，却是个极其可爱的人。在阳刚方面，他力大无比；在阴柔方面，他见了老婆就怕；真有点儿像赫尔克勒斯。
我的姐姐乔夫人生得一头的乌发，有一对乌黑的眼睛，皮肤却是一片红色。有时我不禁怀疑，她可能不用肥皂，而是用肉豆营蔻擦子擦洗皮肤的。她身材高大，身上几乎永远围着一条粗布围裙，用两个活结扎在她背后。她在胸部围了一条非常结实的围嘴儿，上面别满了别针和缝衣针。她成天围着围裙是为了显示她主持及操劳家务的伟大功绩，同时也以此为资本可以狠狠地责骂丈夫。不过，我看不出她有什么理由非围着围裙不可，即使要围围裙，也没有必要成天不离身。
乔的铁匠铺和我们的住房连在一起。我们的房子是木结构的，和我们乡下许多居民房屋一样，都是木屋。我从教堂墓地上气不接下气地跑回家时，铁匠铺已经打烊了，乔一个人正孤独地坐在厨房。乔和我在这个家庭中都是受气的沦落人，所以我们两个人便以诚相待，推心置腹。我打开门闩，把头伸进去一看，在火炉边上正坐着乔，因为火炉就对着门。
“你姐姐出去找你有十二次了，皮普，现在又出去找你，一共十三次了。”
“她去找我吗？”
“是去找你，皮普。”乔说道，“更糟的是她带着那根呵痒棍呢。”
听到这个令人沮丧的消息，我焦急地扭动着背心上仅剩的一颗钮扣，把它转来转去，带着灰心失望的情绪呆呆地望着炉火。呵痒棍是一根长棍棒，棍头上涂着蜡。这根棍子经常在我身上搔痒，早就被磨得滑溜溜的了。
乔告诉我：“她一会坐下来，一会站起来，然后一把抓起呵痒棍就疯狂地跑了出去。就是这些。”乔一面说着，一面漫不经心地拿起火钳拨人，双眼看着炉火。“皮普，她疯狂地跑出去了。”
“她已经去了很久了吗，乔？”我从来不把他当作大人看待。他只不过是个大孩子，和我身份没有两样，所以我说话也直来直往。
“嗯，”乔瞅着那座荷兰式自鸣钟说道，“她疯狂地奔出去，这最后一次去了有五分钟了，皮普。不好，她回来了！快躲到门背后去，老伙计，用那条长毛巾遮上你。”
我照乔的话做了。我的姐姐，乔夫人，猛地把屋门推开，一下子就看到门背后有个东西遮挡着，而且算出了是什么，于是伸出了呵痒棍去试探。她试探的结果便是把我拎起来扔向乔——我常常这样成了他们两人之间的飞箭——而乔则高高兴兴地接住了我，把我放在火炉旁边，伸出一条巨大的腿，悄悄地保护着我。
“你究竟到哪去了，你这个小皮猴子？”乔夫人跺着脚说道，“你老老实实告诉我你去干什么了，害得我着急、害怕、担心，把我累得要死。你要不说，小心我把你从角落里拎出来，就是五十个皮普，再加上五百个葛奇里也没用。”
“我只是到教堂墓地去了。”我坐在小凳子上哭着说，一面揉着疼痛的地方。
“教堂墓地！”我姐姐重复着这几个字，“要不是我照看你，怕你早埋进了教堂墓地，在那儿长眠了。我问你，谁把你一手带大的？”
“当然是你。”我赶忙答道。
“我为什么要把你一手带大，你倒说给我听听。”我姐姐大声吼道。
我轻轻啜泣着说：“我不知道。”
“你不知道！”我姐姐说道，“我再不想干这种事了！你说不知道，我倒知道。老实告诉你，自从你一出生，我这条围裙就没有离过身。做一个铁匠的老婆已经够糟了，何况又是一个葛奇里铁匠，还要做你的妈妈！”
我郁闷而又忧伤地望着炉火，思想早就开小差了，她的问话根本没有听进去。盘旋在我脑海中的是那个腿上缚着铁镣的逃犯、那个神秘的年轻人，还有锉子、吃的东西，以及我可怕的誓言。我不得不去做一次小偷，在我寄居的屋檐下去偷。炉火冒出复仇的火焰，使所有这一切东西都跳到我的眼前。
“嘿嘿！”乔夫人冷笑着，把呵痒棍放到原来的地方。“教堂墓地，好一个教堂墓地！你们两个人轮番说着教堂墓地。”其实在我们两个人中有一个人根本没有说过这个词。“你们两个人对我夹攻，想把我赶进坟墓。真的到了那一天，嘿，要是没有了我，看你们这对活——活宝怎么办！”
然后她便收拾茶具去了。这时乔从他的大腿下面偷偷地瞧着我，仿佛在心中考虑着我和他自己，算计着要是果然这个有严重后果的预言应验了，我们这对难兄难弟该如何是好。他坐在那里，抚摸着自己头右侧的淡黄色鬈发和胡子，淡蓝色的眼珠随着他夫人的走来走去而转来转去。凡遇到这类险恶形势时，他总是这般模样。
我姐姐给我们切面包、涂奶油，总是手脚麻利，十分轻快，而且动作一成不变。一开始，她先用左手把面包紧紧地压在她的围嘴上，自然，有时是一根别针，有时又是一根缝衣针扎进了面包，我们也就连针连面包都吃进嘴里。接着，她抹一些奶油在餐刀上，不多，就一点儿，然后再涂到面包上。她麻利得活像药房中的药剂师在做膏药，一把刀子在她手上运用自如，两面涂油，十分敏捷。薄薄的奶油均匀地涂在面包上，没有一处遗漏。然后，她用餐刀在膏药的边上做最后一次精心涂抹，结束后，从面包上切下厚厚的一片。在这片面包和整只面包完全分离之前，她加上一刀，把它一分为二，一块给乔，另一块给我。
当时我确实很饿，但是我不敢吃这一份面包。我想我一定要保留一些给那个可怕的朋友吃，还要留一些给他的伙伴，也就是那个更加可怕的年轻人。我知道我姐姐治家谨严，管理认真；我要想偷些什么，看来从食橱中是找不到的。所以，我决定把这一大厚片奶油面包放在裤脚管中。
要达到这个目的，必须要有决心，而且要努力才行。我发现这是很难的事。这就好像我必须下定决心从很高的屋顶上跳下来，或者跳进一片深水中。更加困难的是乔对这件事一无所知。前面曾提到过，我和乔两个同是这房屋中的沦落人，他心地善良，与我友好相处。在吃晚餐时，我们有个习惯，要比较一下吃面包的速度，不时地悄悄拿起所啃的面包比一下，并且相互会心地表示赞美。这样，我们啃面包就越啃越有劲。今天晚上，乔几次邀请我比赛，并且展示出他飞快吃剩下的一个小块。他要和我像往常一样进行友谊竞赛。但是，每一次他都看到在我的一只膝盖上放着我那只黄色的茶杯，在另一只膝盖上是我一口还没有咬过的奶油面包。最后，我不得不孤注一掷。我沉思的结果是这件事不能不做，而且要看准机会，于不知不觉中把它办好。于是，我看准了乔注视我后刚把头转过去的这一刹那，趁机把奶油面包装进了我的裤脚管。
乔以为我胃口不好不想吃，因此也感到无精打采，浑身不舒服。他心思沉重地从面包片上咬了一小口，似乎吃起来不得劲。一小口面包在他嘴里细磨慢嚼，比平常所用的时间要长得多。他边嚼边想，最后才像吃药丸一样把它吞下去，然后他准备咬第二口。就在这时，他的目光又落到我身上，突然发现我的奶油面包已经无影无踪。
乔感到惊诧，甚至有些愕然，一小口面包停在两排牙齿中间，眼睛直瞪瞪地望着我。这一切都逃不脱我姐姐那一双善于观察的眼睛。
“你怎么了？”她说着，声音中带着严厉，并且把手中的茶杯放了下来。
乔对我摇着头，用非常严肃的规劝口吻低低地对我说：“哎呀，你该懂！皮普，我的老伙计，你可是在和自己开玩笑！一嚼不嚼吞进去，会卡在什么地方的，皮普。”
我姐姐用比刚才更严厉的声音追问道：“究竟怎么回事？”
“你要是能把它咳出一点儿，皮鲁，我劝你还是咳出来好。”乔吓得已慌了手脚，不知道说什么是好。“礼仪固然是礼仪，你的身体也还是你的身体。要注意健康。”
这时我姐姐火气上来了，再也按捺不住，奔过来扑向乔，抓住他两颊的络腮胡子，把他的头在后墙上撞了好一段时间。我坐在墙角边，心中深感负疚，因为一切由我引起。
“好吧，你现在总可以说说究竟是怎么一回事了吧，”我姐姐急得气都透不过来了，“你这个瞪着眼的该千刀万刚的大肥猪。”
乔毫无办法地看了一看她，接着又毫无办法地咬了一口面包，然后又看了看我。
“皮普，你要懂得。’乔对我说，带着严肃的神情。他最后一口把面包全部塞进嘴巴，真心诚意地和我谈心里话，仿佛只有我们两人在这里似的。“你和我永远是情如手足的朋友，我绝不会做出告发你的事，任何时候都不会。不过，”他移动了一下椅子，在地上找了一阵，然后继续说道，“像你这次把它一口吞进去，真是太不寻常了。”
“他把面包，一口吞进去了，是不是？”我姐姐大声叫道。
“老伙计，我告诉你，”乔望着我说道，却没有望着他妻子，刚才吃进去的面包，还在嘴里没有咽进去，“我在你这个年纪时也和你一样，时常喜欢吞食。而且，我在孩子时就已经是一个吞食能手了。但是，我还没有见过一个可以和你相比的。皮普，你真走运，吞进这么一大块面包竟然没有死。”
我姐姐冲到我面前，一把抓住我的头发，像钓鱼似的把我拎了起来，一开口就把我的胆吓破了。她说：“你还不快过来，让我给你服一剂药。”
不知道是什么兽医把古代用的柏油水又当作了不起的万灵药复兴了。乔夫人把它当宝贝放在食橱中，作常备药。柏油水肮脏不堪，难以入口，正因为此，她的确相信它有治百病的功效。在最幸运的时候，这种药竟被当成了最上等的补品，要我大喝特喝，使我走到哪里都感到有一种味道，和新筑成的篱笆味差不多。何况今天是个特殊的夜晚，我发生了紧急病情，于是被逼喝了一品脱这种混合补剂。我姐姐为了使我喝得舒服、恢复得快，把我的头夹在她的胳肢窝下面，像用拔靴器拔靴子的架势，把柏油水灌进我的喉咙管里。乔也倒了霉，喝了半品脱，也是被逼得硬吞进去的。他本来坐在炉火前慢慢细嚼刚才吃进去的面包，同时漫不经意地思索着，而现在给弄得心烦意乱。他被逼吞药是因为“他刚才大吃了一惊”。其实我以为，刚才他并没有大吃一惊，而现在才是真正的吃惊不小。
良心，无论在谴责成人还是谴责儿童时，都是一件可怕的事。从良心谴责孩子这点来看，我可以作证。我的良心里有个秘密的负担，而裤脚管里又有另一个秘密的负担，两个秘密通力合作，这种良心的谴责，真是一个严重的处罚。一方面，我准备去偷乔夫人的东西，一想到它便有一种犯罪感。我从来不会想到去偷窃乔的东西，因为我认为家中的物品没有一件是他的。另一方面，无论我坐着，还是被派到厨房里干些小事情，我都要用手按住裤脚管里的奶油面包。这两方面加在一起几乎使我发狂。这时，沼泽地吹来的风把炉火吹得很旺，闪动着光芒。我仿佛听到从外面传来的声音，那个腿上带着镣铐的人的声音。他曾要我发誓保守秘密，而现在似乎正向我发话，说他饿极了，挨不到明天早晨，要我立刻给他送吃的东西去。一会儿，我又想到那个年轻人。那人花费了很大气力才阻止了这年轻人来挖我的心肝，可如果这年轻人饿得等不及了，或者搞错了时间，把明天当成今夜，那他马上就会来挖我的心肝五脏了！如果说世上真的有那种令人恐惧的事，把人们吓得头发倒竖，我的头发一定会倒竖起来。不过，也许世上根本就没有那么一回事。
这是圣诞节前夕，我不得不坐在荷兰自鸣钟旁边，拿一根钢棒搅拌明天要用的布丁原料，从七时揽到八时。我一面干活一面感到腿部的负担，同时联想到那个人腿部的负担。我不停地干着活，快把那块奶油面包从裤脚管中震荡出来了，简直无法控制。幸亏脱身的机会来了，我真想马上回到我的亭子间卧室去。
我结束了搅拌工作，趁还没有叫我去睡觉之机，在火炉旁边暖和自己的身体。我对乔说道：“乔，你听！是不是大炮声？”
“噢！”乔说道，“又逃走了一个万人。”
“你说什么，乔？”我问道。
乔夫人总是喜欢表现自己。现在，她又带点火气地说道：“有犯人逃跑了。”她说话的腔调真像给我灌柏油水一样。
乔夫人低头在干她的针线活儿，我便对乔用嘴做了几个口型，问他什么是犯人？乔也学我的样，回答了我，但他的口型相当复杂，我除了辨别出有一个“皮普”以外，其他意思怎么也猜不透。
过了一会儿，乔大声说道：“昨天傍晚，太阳落山以后，有一个万人逃走了，他们放炮通告他的逃走。现在放炮是通告又有一个万人逃走。”乔总是把“犯”人说成“万”人。
“谁在放炮？”我问道。
“你这小鬼真讨厌，”我姐姐从针线活上抬起面孔，对我皱起眉头，说，“没完没了地问。问多必失，问题问多了难免要受骗。”
我想我的姐姐也真不讲道理，即使我问题问得多一些，也不该像她所说的那样会受她的骗。不过她也无所谓，只要没有客人在场，她从来是不讲道理的。
就在这个时候，乔尽了最大努力把他的嘴巴张得很大，这便增强了我的好奇心，研究他口型所表示的词语。我看那很像是“发火”（sulks），所以当然地指着乔夫人，对乔张开嘴，“是指她吗？”但是乔根本没有理会我，又一次把嘴巴张得很大很大，把那个词强调得非常明显。可是，我完全猜不透这个词是什么。
我毫无办法可想，只有采取最后手段。我对姐姐说：“乔夫人，要是你不很介意的话，能不能告诉我，究竟是什么地方放炮？”
“愿主保佑你这个孩子！”我姐姐大声说道，“炮是监狱船（hulks）上放的。”她说得动听，要主来保佑我，其实她的意思正好相反。
“哦！”我这才明白了，于是望着乔说道，“监狱船！”
乔责备性地对我咳了一声，仿佛说他本来对我讲的就是监狱船嘛。
“可是我还想问，什么是监狱船呢？”我说道。
“这完全是个小孩子！”我姐姐一面摇着头，一面用她的针线指着我大声嚷道，“回答了他一个问题，他又要问十来个，真是得寸进尺。监狱船就是关犯人的船，这船就在‘沼’的对面。”我们这一带总是用“沼”这个词表示乡下的沼泽地。
“我真不知道监狱船里关什么人，更不知道为什么要把他们关进去。”我说时，特地装出一副平静的样子，以掩盖内心的焦急。
这下子惹恼了我的姐姐，她立刻火冒三丈地跳起来：“我给你讲过什么呢，你这个鬼东西？我一手把你带大，不是叫你总是逗着人玩。要是把你养成了烦人的人，我就得天天挨骂，谁还会说我好呢。把他们关进监狱船，因为他们杀人，因为他们抢劫，因为他们伪造物品，做各种各样的坏事，他们都是从小时候喜欢乱问开始学坏的。现在，你懂了吧，快去上床睡觉吧！”
我上床从来没有一支蜡烛照亮。现在，我摸着黑上楼梯，头上一阵阵刺痛，因为我姐姐在讲到最后的话时，用顶针顶在我头上，像摇小手鼓一样，使我感到钻心般的痛。她说的话使我非常害怕。监狱船就在附近，这给我被关进去大开方便之门。显然，我正走上这条路。我已经开始喜欢乱问，而且正准备去偷乔夫人的东西。
事情尽管已过去很久，但它时常亲绕着我的心，使我再三回味。世上究竟有几个人了解孩子心中的秘密，了解由于恐怖的袭击，会造成他什么样的心情。不管这类恐怖多么不近乎情理，对孩子一定会造成损伤。那个要挖出我心肝五脏的年轻人吓得我要死；和我交谈的那个腿上系着脚镣的人吓得我要死；我也被我自己吓得要死，因为我答应给他做事许下了可怕的誓言。我不能指望神通广大、无所不能的姐姐来救我。她只会把我拒之于门外，从来没有给过我帮助。现在我想起当年的心情还恐惧不安，一个孩子由于内在的恐怖真不知会干出什么。
那天夜里，只要我一闭上眼，就好像置身于汹涌澎湃的波涛上，朦朦胧胧地正向着监狱船漂荡而去；当我经过那个绞刑架时，一个阴森森幽灵般的海盗正手持喊话筒对我喊话，叫我快漂向海岸，上绞架去受刑，不要延误时机。当时就是想睡，我也不敢睡，因为第二天一早，天只要氵蒙氵蒙亮的时候，我就要到食品间去偷东西。黑夜里无法行窃，因为那个时候还没这么轻易地一擦就取到火的东西。要想取火，就必须用火刀火石，而那样就糟了，因为火刀火石碰撞出的声音和那个海盗身上嘎啦嘎啦的镣铐声相差无几。
我从房中的小窗看到外面一片黑丝绒般的天幕上泛出一丝灰光，赶忙从床上跳起，向楼下走去。每一块楼梯板、每一块楼梯板上的裂缝都似乎跟在我后面高叫，“抓贼，乔夫人快起来抓贼！”我到了食品间。哇；这么多好吃的东西，比平时多得多，真得谢谢圣诞节。就在我转过半边身子时，突然吓了一大跳，前面正倒悬着一只兔子，而且我想这死兔子正对我眨着眼。当时我根本来不及仔细辨认，来不及挑选，来不及过问任何一件事，因为我必须抓紧时间。我偷了一些面包、一些干酪皮、半盆碎肉，把这些和昨天的那块奶油面包一起包在一块手帕中；此外，我从石玉酒坛中偷了点白兰地，用小玻璃瓶装好，（这小玻璃瓶是我秘密收在房中，用来制造散发芳香的西班牙式甘草液的。）然后，我在厨房的食品橱里找到一个水壶，往石玉酒坛中注进一些水；我还拿了块上面已没有什么肉的骨头，以及一只又回又漂亮的猪肉馅饼。本来我不知道有馅饼，只是出于好奇心，爬上了架子去看边角上一只盖得严严实实的陶瓷盆。掀开来一瞧，原来是一块猪肉馅饼，当然，我也就带上了。我希望这块饼不是马上就要用的，也就不会马上发现被窃。
厨房里有一扇门通向铁匠铺。我先打开锁，再拉开闩，从乔的工具中拿了一把锉子。然后，我把一切都照原样弄好，打开昨天晚上跑回家时走的那扇门，出去后再关好，便向雾气迷氵蒙的沼泽地奔去。
Chapter 3
IT was a rimy morning, and very damp. I had seen the damp lying on the outside of my little window, as if some goblin had been crying there all night, and using the window for a pocket-handkerchief. Now, I saw the damp lying on the bare hedges and spare grass, like a coarser sort of spiders' webs; hanging itself from twig to twig and blade to blade. On every rail and gate, wet lay clammy; and the marsh-mist was so thick, that the wooden finger on the post directing people to our village - a direction which they never accepted, for they never came there - was invisible to me until I was quite close under it. Then, as I looked up at it, while it dripped, it seemed to my oppressed conscience like a phantom devoting me to the Hulks. 
The mist was heavier yet when I got out upon the marshes, so that instead of my running at everything, everything seemed to run at me. This was very disagreeable to a guilty mind. The gates and dykes and banks came bursting at me through the mist, as if they cried as plainly as could be, `A boy with Somebody-else's port pie! Stop his!' The cattle came upon me with like suddenness, staring out of their eyes, and steaming out of their nostrils, `Holloa, young thief!' One black ox, with a white cravat on - who even had to my awakened conscience something of a clerical air - fixed me so obstinately with his eyes, and moved his blunt head round in such an accusatory manner as I moved round, that I blubbered out to him, `I couldn't help it, sir! It wasn't for myself I took it!' Upon which he put down his head, blew a could of smoke out of his nose, and vanished with a kick-up of his hind-legs and a flourish of his tail.
All this time, I was getting on towards the river; but however fast I went, I couldn't warm my feet, to which the damp cold seemed riveted, as the iron was riveted to the leg of the man I was running to meet. I knew my way to the Battery, pretty straight, for I had been down there on a Sunday with Joe, and Joe, sitting on an old gun, had told me that when I was 'prentice to him regularly bound, we would have such Larks there! However, in the confusion of the mist, I found myself at last too far to the right, and consequently had to try back along the river-side, on the bank of loose stones above the mud and the stakes that staked the tide out. Making my way along here with all despatch, I had just crossed a ditch which I knew to be very near the Battery, and had just scrambled up the mound beyond the ditch, when I saw the man sitting before me. His back was towards me, and he had his arms folded, and was nodding forward, heavy with sleep.
I thought he would be more glad if I came upon him with his breakfast, in that unexpected manner, so I went forward softly and touched him on the shoulder. He instantly jumped up, and it was not the same man, but another man!
And yet this man was dressed in coarse grey, too, and had a great iron on his leg, and was lame, and hoarse, and cold, and was everything that the other man was; except that he had not the same face, and had a flat broad-brimmed low-crowned felt that on. All this, I saw in a moment, for I had only a moment to see it in: he swore an oath at me, made a hit at me - it was a round weak blow that missed me and almost knocked himself down, for it made him stumble - and then he ran the mist, stumbling twice as he went, and I lost him.
`It's the young man!' I thought, feeling my heart shoot as I identified him. I dare say I should have felt a pain in my liver, too, if I had known where it was.
I was soon at the Battery, after that, and there was the right man-hugging himself and limping to and fro, as if he had never all night left off hugging and limping - waiting for me. He was awfully cold, to be sure. I half expected to see him drop down before my face and die of deadly cold. His eyes looked so awfully hungry, too, that when I handed him the file and he laid it down on the grass, it occurred to me he would have tried to eat it, if he had not seen my bundle. He did not turn me upside down, this time, to get at what I had, but left me right side upwards while I opened the bundle and emptied my pockets.
`What's in the bottle, boy?' said he.
`Brandy,' said I.
He was already handing mincemeat down his throat in the most curious manner - more like a man who was putting it away somewhere in a violent hurry, than a man who was eating it - but he left off to take some of the liquor. He shivered all the while, so violently, that it was quite as much as he could do to keep the neck of the bottle between his teeth, without biting it off.
`I think you have got the ague,' said I.
`I'm much of your opinion, boy,' said he.
`It's bad about here,' I told him. `You've been lying out on the meshes, and they're dreadful aguish. Rheumatic too.'
`I'll eat my breakfast afore they're the death of me,' said he. `I'd do that, if I was going to be strung up to that there gallows as there is over there, directly afterwards. I'll beat the shivers so far, I'll bet you.'
He was gobbling mincemeat, meatbone, bread, cheese, and pork pie, all at once: staring distrustfully while he did so at the mist all round us, and often stopping - even stopping his jaws - to listen. Some real or fancied sound, some clink upon the river or breathing of beast upon the marsh, now gave him a start, and he said, suddenly:
`You're not a deceiving imp? You brought no one with you?'
`No, sir! No!'
`Nor giv' no one the office to follow you?'
`No!'
`Well,' said he, `I believe you. You'd be but a fierce young hound indeed, if at your time of life you could help to hunt a wretched warmint, hunted as near death and dunghill as this poor wretched warmint is!'
Something clicked in his throat, as if has works in him like a clock, and was going to strike. And he smeared his ragged rough sleeve over his eyes.
Pitying his desolation, and watching him as he gradually settled down upon the pie, I made bold to say, `I am glad you enjoy it.'
`Did you speak?'
`I said I was glad you enjoyed it.'
`Thankee, my boy. I do.'
I had often watched a large dog of ours eating his food; and I now noticed a decided similarity between the dog's way of eating, and the man's. The man took strong sharp sudden bites, just like the dog. He swallowed, or rather snapped up, every mouthful, too soon and too fast; and he looked sideways here and there while he ate, as if he thought there was danger in every direction, of somebody's coming to take the pie away. He was altogether too unsettled in his mind over it, to appreciate it comfortably, I thought, or to have anybody to dine with him, without making a chop with his jaws at the visitor. In all of which particulars he was very like the dog.
`I am afraid you won't leave any of it for him,' said I, timidly; after a silence during which I had hesitated as to the politeness of making the remark. `There's no more to be got where that came from.' It was the certainty of this fact that impelled me to offer the hint.
`Leave any for him? Who's him?' said my friend, stopping in his crunching of pie-crust.
`The young man. That you spoke of. That was hid with you.'
`Oh ah!' he returned, with something like a gruff laugh. `Him? Yes, yes! He don't want no wittles.'
`I thought he looked as if he did,' said I.
The man stopped eating, and regarded me with the keenest scrutiny and the greatest surprise.
`Looked? When?'
`Just now.'
`Where?'
`Yonder,' said I, pointing; `over there, where I found him nodding asleep, and thought it was you.'
He held me by the collar and stared at me so, that I began to think his first idea about cutting my throat had revived.
`Dressed like you, you know, only with a hat,' I explained, trembling; `and - and' - I was very anxious to put this delicately - `and with - the same reason for wanting to borrow a file. Didn't you hear the cannon last night?'
`Then, there was firing!' he said to himself.
`I wonder you shouldn't have been sure of that,' I returned, `for we heard it up at home, and that's further away, and we were shut in besides.'
`Why, see now!' said he. `When a man's alone on these flats, with a light head and a light stomach, perishing of cold and want, he hears nothin' all night, but guns firing, and voices calling. Hears? He sees the soldiers, with their red coats lighted up by the torches carried afore, closing in round him. Hears his number called, hears himself challenged, hears the rattle of the muskets, hears the orders """Make ready! Present! Cover him steady, men!" and is laid hands on - and there's nothin'! Why, if I see one pursuing party last night - coming up in order, Damn 'em, with their tramp, tramp - I see a hundred. And as to firing! Why, I see the mist shake with the cannon, arter it was broad day - But this man;' he had said all the rest, as if he had forgotten my being there; `did you notice anything in him?'
`He had a badly bruised face,' said I, recalling what I hardly knew I knew.
`Not here?' exclaimed the man, striking his left cheek mercilessly, with the flat of his hand.
`Yes, there!'
`Where is he?' He crammed what little food was left, into the breast of his grey jacket. `Show me the way he went. I'll pull him down, like a bloodhound. Curse this iron on my sore leg! Give us hold of the file, boy.'
I indicated in what direction the mist had shrouded the other man, and he looked up at it for an instant. But he was down on the rank wet grass, filing at his iron like a madman, and not minding me or minding his own leg, which has an old chafe upon it and was bloody, but which he handled as roughly as if it had no more feeling in it than the file. I was very much afraid of him again, now that he had worked himself into this fierce hurry, and I was likewise very much afraid of keeping away from home any longer. I told him I must go, but he took no notice, so I thought the best thing I could do was to slip off. The last I saw of him, his head was bent over his knee and he was working hard at his fetter, muttering impatient imprecations at it and at his leg. The last I heard of him, I stopped in the mist to listen, and the file was still going.
 
这是一个结满白霜的早晨，相当潮湿。一早起来我就曾见到在我小窗的外侧布了一层湿气，仿佛有一个魔鬼，终夜在那儿嚎哭，并且用我的窗子作为手帕，擦拭着他的眼泪。现在我又看到，在一无枝叶的篱笆和稀稀疏疏的草地上也布了一层湿气，就好像用粗丝织成的蜘蛛网，把所有的枝头和所有的草尖连成一片。家家户户的栅栏上、大门上都有一层粘粘糊糊的水汽。沼泽地上空的雾太浓了，如果不是因为走到了近前，我是根本无法看清那个指着我们村庄的木制手指的。其实人们也不会去看这个手指，因为他们从不会来到这里。我仰首观看这正滴着水珠的手指，对我受到压抑的良心来说，它就像一个妖怪，一心一意地把我引向监狱船。
待我抵达沼泽地时，雾气更为浓厚。在迷氵蒙雾气中好像不是我朝着前面的目标走去，而是前面的一切景象都正向着我飞奔过来。对于怀有犯罪感的我来说，这种情形是令人讨厌的。看那一扇扇闸门、一道道水坝和河岸都突然地冲破了氵蒙氵蒙雾气出现在我面前，仿佛都在清清楚楚、直截了当地喊叫着：“有一个孩子偷了人家的猪肉馅饼！捉住他 2”牛儿也忽然在我面前显现出来，睁着它们的大眼睛，鼻孔中喷出团团白气，似乎也在对我说：“喂，你这个小贼！”一头颈项上长着一圈白毛的黑牛用一双圆眼死死地盯住我，好像一名牧师，试图唤起我良心上的自责。然后，它又转动起那只愚钝粗鲁的大头，那个架势肯定是在责备我。我走过去时不禁用带着哽咽的声音对它说：“牛先生，我完全是身不由己！我偷猪肉馅饼不是为了自己！”它听了我的解释才低下了头，从鼻孔中喷射出一圈雾气，抬起后腿踢了一下，又一甩它的尾巴，向别处走去。
我一路向着河边赶过去。不管我奔得多么快，我的脚始终是冰凉的，暖和不起来。潮湿的冷气似乎根深蒂固地留在了我的脚上，就像铁镣死死地铐在那个我正赶去会见的人的腿上一样。我心中有数，只要一直走下去就是炮台，因为有一个星期天我曾经和乔到那里去过。我记得，那一次乔坐在一尊老古炮身上对我说，要是我当了他的徒弟，签好了合同，那我们有多高心（兴）啊！我走着走着，发现厚厚的浓雾使我走错了路，偏向了右边，所以不得不沿河又向回走。河岸上的这条路是用石头堆在泥浆上砌成的，打了一些木桩用来防汛。我火急地顺着河堤向前跑，跳过了一条小沟，知道这里离炮台已很近了。接着，我爬上了沟那边的土丘。一上土丘，我便看到那人坐在我前面。他的背朝向我，两只臂膀交叉在胸前，头微微点动着，睡得非常香甜。
我思忖着，如果我出其不意地把早餐放在他面前，他一定快活得不得了。于是，我轻手轻脚地走到他面前，拍了一下他的肩膀。他立刻跳了起来。我一看，他并不是那个我要见的人，而是另一个人。
这个人穿的也是粗制的灰布国服，腿上也系着一根粗大的脚镣，走路也是一瘸一拐的，语音也是粗声粗气、有点刺耳，身子也是冷得直发抖。除掉一张脸和他头上戴着的一顶低顶宽边毡帽以外，两个人无论从哪里看都是一模一样。我所描述的这一切只是我一刹那之间的印象，因为也就在这时刻，他对我破口大骂，同时向我挥出了一拳。幸好这一拳是弯着膀子打来的，力量不大，而且没有打中。他自己倒差点儿被冲力带倒，接着就踉踉跄跄地逃进了氵蒙氵蒙大雾之中。他跌倒了两次，然后便在前面消失了。
“这就是那个年轻人！”我想。我认出了他，这使我的心好像中了弹一样地疼痛。要是知道我的肝长在什么地方，我肯定也会感到肝病的。
很快我就到达了炮台，而且看到了那个人，一点没有错。他紧紧地抱着自己的身体，一瘸一拐地来回走着，好像整夜都没有睡觉，整夜都紧抱着身体，拐着来拐着去地专心等着我来。他肯定是实在太冷了。我几乎预感到他会在我面前倒下来，在寒气中冻僵而死。从他的眼神中可以看出他饿急了。我把锉子递给他时，他随手便向草地上一丢。我想，如果他没有看到我手中提着的食品包，一定连锉子也会吃下肚的。这回他没有把我倒拎起来，也没有把我身上的东西搜个干净，而是让我端正地站在那里。我打开食品包，又把口袋中装的东西全部交给他。
“孩子，瓶子里装的是什么？”他问道。
“白兰地酒。”我答道。
他正在把碑肉送进嘴巴塞人喉管。他吃东西的姿态是最奇特的，与其说他在吃碎肉，不如说他在狂暴而又匆忙地把它装进什么容器中。这时他听说有白兰地，又丢下碎肉，立刻装进几口酒。他全身一直在战栗着，总算还能把瓶颈咬在牙齿之间，没有把瓶子咬成两半。
“你在打摆子吧。”我说道。
“孩子，多半你的话是对的。”他答道。
“这里环境很差，”我告诉他，“而且你一直躺在沼泽地上，这不仅容易使人打摆子，而且也会使人患风湿症。”
“我可管不了这些。就是打摆子会要我的命，我也要先把早饭吃完再说，”他说道，“就是马上我要被带到那边的绞刑架去，被吊死，我也要先吃早饭。不要担心，我敢保证，我会战胜这打摆子病的。”
他狼吞虎咽地把碎肉、肉骨头上的肉、面包、奶酪、猪肉馅饼同时往肚子里装，一边还疑神疑鬼地注视着我们四周的迷雾，时常停下来，甚至停下他的嘴巴，静听四周的声音。究竟是真实的，还是他幻想中的声音；究竟是河上的咔哒声，还是沼地上野兽的呼吸声。忽然，他大吃一惊，对我问道：
“你是不是一个骗我上当的小鬼？你带没带人来？”
“没有，先生，我什么人也没有带。”
“也没有暗示什么人跟你来吗？”
“没有。”
“好吧，”他说道，“我相信你。如果在你这个年纪就帮着别人来追捕一条可怜的小毛虫，那你无疑就是一条凶狠可恶的小猎大了。像我这样可怜而又受苦受难的小毛虫离死期已经不远，就会变成一堆臭屎了。”
不知什么东西在他喉咙管里咯嗒响了一下，仿佛他的体内有一个类似闹钟的装置，正要敲响报时。他用破烂的粗布衣袖擦了擦他的眼睛。
他如此凄凉落魄，我内心十分同情。注视着他慢慢地又开始吃起猪肉馅饼，我壮着胆子说道：“看到你喜欢吃馅饼，我太高兴了。”
“你在说什么？”
“我说，你喜欢吃这饼我大高兴了。”
“谢谢你，我的孩子。我真喜欢这饼。”
过去我时常观看我们家的一条大狗吃食，现在，我发现狗的吃相和这个人的吃相是多么明显地相似啊！这个人左一口右一口不停地拼命咬着，和狗的吃法没有两样。与其说他在把食物吞进去，不如说他是把食物一把一把地装进去，快得无法形容。他一面吃着，一面斜着眼看看这里，又看看那里，似乎无处不埋伏着危险，说不定哪里会跑出一个人来，把他的肉馅饼一把夺走。看上去他的心绪太不安定了，以至于不可能舒舒服服地把饼嚼出滋味来。我思忖着，要是有人和他同食，他不咬下一块对方的肉才怪呢。从所有的这些情况看，他太像我们家那条狗了。
“恐怕你不会留点什么给他吃了。”我胆怯地说道。说后我迟疑了片刻，考虑这话是不是会惹他生气。“真的，我只能弄到这么多，无法再多弄了。”因为这是大实话，我不得不让他知道。
“留点儿给他吃？他是谁？”我的朋友反而问我，停止了啃嚼肉馅饼的皮。
“就是那个年轻人啊。是你告诉我的，你说他和你躲在一起。”
“噢，噢！”他恍然大悟地答道，似乎还带着粗鲁的笑声。“是他啊！你说得对，对，不过他是不吃东西的。”
“我想，看他的样子他也是要吃东西的。”我说道。
这个人停止了啃嚼，用锐利的目光和惊异的神情打量着我，审视着我。
“看他的样子？你什么时候看到他的样子的？”
“刚才。”
“在什么地方？”
“在那边，”我指着方向说道，“就那里，我看到他在那儿打着瞌睡，还以为是你呢。”
他突然一把抓住我的领子，紧紧地瞪着我。我开始以为他又想要勒死我了，因为这是他最初的打算。
“你知道，他穿的衣服和你的一样，只多了一顶帽子，”我全身发抖地向他解释说，“而且他也，他也，”我不知道该怎么样才能把下面的词句说得体面些，“有一副什么东西系在脚上，也该要个锉子。昨天夜里你听到放炮的声音了吗？”
“那的确是放炮喽？”他对自己说着。
“你怎么会不能肯定是放炮呢？”我答道，“我们家离得很远，而且门又关着，我们都听到了。”
“唉，瞧我！”他说道，“当时我独自一人睡在这沼泽地上，沉闷的头脑，全空的肚皮，身上冷得发抖，缺食缺衣，整夜除了炮声人声外，其他还能听到什么？不仅听见，我还看见了士兵呢。他们手持火炬，火光映照着红色的军服，正向我包抄而来。他们叫着我的号，向我挑战，听到他们毛瑟枪咔哒咔哒的响声，听到他们所下的号令声，‘弟兄们，现在注意：各就各位，举枪，对他瞄准！’接着捉住了——他们也消失了！是啊，昨夜我看到有一批搜捕队，他们整队而来，咔嚓咔嚓地踏着草地，他妈的，哪是一批啊，而是一百批。至于放炮嘛，我看到炮声把雾气都震动得战栗起来，那时天已经很亮了。不过这个人，”他说了半天都忘记了我在这里，现在才记起来，“你注意到他有什么特点吗？”
“我看到他脸上肿了一大块。”我答道。回想当时，很难说我看得很正确。
“是不是这里？”他大声地问我，用手掌狠狠地打在自己的左脸上。
“对，就是这里。”
“现在他在哪里？”说着他把仅剩下的一点儿食物塞进他那件灰色上衣的胸口。“告诉我他去的地方。我要像一条猎犬，一定要追到他。这根脚镣真可恨，脚痛得不好走。孩子，替我把锉子拿过来。”
我把方向指给他看，告诉他另一个人就在那里的大雾包围之中。他举首朝着那里望了一会儿，然后便坐在发着恶臭的潮湿草地上，用锉子锉他的脚镣。他那个劲儿简直像个疯子，对身旁的我和他自己的脚毫不在意。他腿上有个老伤口，现在被弄得血糊糊的，可是他却粗鲁地挂着，仿佛他的腿和锉刀一样是没有感觉的。现在我心中对他又害怕起来。他这么心急冲冲的样子，不由得我不害怕；再说，我出来已够久了，不能再耽搁。我告诉他我要回家，他好像没有听到。我想，我还是溜之大吉吧。我记得我最后一眼看到他的景象是，他冲着膝盖低着头，正拼着老命在锉脚镣，不耐烦地对锉刀和腿骂骂咧咧地说着什么。我站在氵蒙氵蒙雾气中听到他最后的声音是他不停地锉着脚镣的声音。
Chapter 4
I FULLY expected to find a Constable in the kitchen, waiting to take me up. But not only was there no Constable there, but no discovery had yet been made of the robbery. Mrs Joe was prodigiously busy in getting the house ready for the festivities of the day, and Joe had been put upon the kitchen door-step to keep him out of the dust-pan - an article into which his destiny always led him sooner or later, when my sister was vigorously reaping the floors of her establishment. 
`And where the deuce ha' you been?' was Mrs Joe's Christmas salutation, when I and my conscience showed ourselves.
I said I had been down to hear the Carols. `Ah! well!' observed Mrs Joe. `You might ha' done worse.' Not a doubt of that, I thought.
`Perhaps if I warn't a blacksmith's wife, and (what's the same thing) a slave with her apron never off, I should have been to hear the Carols,' said Mrs Joe. `I'am rather partial to Carols, myself, and that's the best of reasons for my never hearing any.'
Joe, who had ventured into the kitchen after me as the dust-pan had retired before us, drew the back of his hand across his nose with a conciliatory air when Mrs Joe darted a look at him, and, when her eyes were withdrawn, secretly crossed his two forefingers, and exhibited them to me, as our token that Mrs Joe was in a cross temper. This was so much her normal state, that Joe and I would often, for weeks together, be, as to our fingers, like monumental Crusaders as to their legs.
We were to have a superb dinner, consisting of a leg of pickled pork and greens, and a pair of roast stuffed fowls. A handsome mince-pie had been made yesterday morning (which accounted for the mincemeat not being missed), and the pudding was already on the boil. These extensive arrangements occasioned us to be cut off unceremoniously in respect of breakfast; `for I an't,' said Mrs Joe, `I an't a going to have no formal cramming and busting and washing up now, with what I've got before me, I promise you!'
So, we had our slices served out, as if we were two thousand troops on a forced march instead of a man and boy at home; and we took gulps of milk and water, with apologetic countenances, from a jug on the dresser. In the meantime, Mrs Joe put clean white curtains up, and tacked a new flowered-flounce across the wide chimney to replace the old one, and uncovered the little state parlour across the passage, which was never uncovered at any other time, but passed the rest of the year in a cool haze of silver paper, which even extended to the four little white crockery poodles on the mantelshelf, each with a black nose and a basket of flowers in his mouth, and each the counterpart of the other. Mrs Joe was a very clean housekeeper, but had an exquisite art of making her cleanliness more uncomfortable and unacceptable than dirt itself. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, and some people do the same by their religion.
My sister having so much to do, was going to church vicariously; that is to say, Joe and I were going. In his working clothes, Joe was a well-knit characteristic-looking blacksmith; in his holiday clothes, he was more like a scarecrow in good circumstances, than anything else. Nothing that he wore then, fitted him or seemed to belong to him; and everything that he wore then, grazed him. On the present festive occasion he emerged from his room, when the blithe bells were going, the picture of misery, in a full suit of Sunday penitentials. As to me, I think my sister must have had some general idea that I was a young offender whom an Accoucheur Policemen had taken up (on my birthday) and delivered over to her, to be dealt with according to the outraged majesty of the law. I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the dissuading arguments of my best friends. Even when I was taken to have a new suit of clothes, the tailor had orders to make them like a kind of Reformatory, and on no account to let me have the free use of my limbs.
Joe and I going to church, therefore, must have been a moving spectacle for compassionate minds. Yet, what I suffered outside, was nothing to what I underwent within. The terrors that had assailed me whenever Mrs Joe had gone near the pantry, or out of the room, were only to be equalled by the remorse with which my mind dwelt on what my hands had done. Under the weight of my wicked secret, I pondered whether the Church would be powerful enough to shield me from the vengeance of the terrible young man, if I divulged to that establishment. I conceived the idea that the time when the banns were read and when the clergyman said, `Ye are now to declare it!' would be the time for me to rise and propose a private conference in the vestry. I am far from being sure that I might not have astonished our small congregation by resorting to this extreme measure, but for its being Christmas Day and no Sunday.
Mr Wopsle, the clerk at church, was to dine with us; and Mr Hubble the wheelwright and Mrs Hubble; and Uncle Pumblechook (Joe's uncle, but Mrs Joe appropriated him), who was a well-to-do corn-chandler in the nearest town, and drove his own chaise-cart. The dinner hour was half-past one. When Joe and I got home, we found the table laid, and Mrs Joe dressed, and the dinner dressing, and the front door unlocked (it never was at any other time) for the company to enter by, and everything most splendid. And still, not a word of the robbery.
The time came, without bringing with it any relief to my feelings, and the company came. Mr. Wopsle, united to a Roman nose and a large shining bald forehead, had a deep voice which he was uncommonly proud of; indeed it was understood among his acquaintance that if you could only give him his head, he would read the clergyman into fits; he himself confessed that if the Church was `thrown open,' meaning to competition, he would not despair of making his mark in it. The Church not being `thrown open,' he was, as I have said, our clerk. But the punished the Amens tremendously; and when he gave out the psalm - always giving the whole verse - he looked all round the congregation first, as much as to say, `You have heard my friend overhead; oblige me with your opinion of this style!'
I opened the door to the company - making believe that it was a habit of ours to open that door - and I opened it first to Mr Wopsle, next to Mr and Mrs Hubble, and last of all to Uncle Pumblechook. N.B. I was not allowed to call him uncle, under the severest penalties.
`Mrs Joe,' said Uncle Pumblechook: a large hard-breathing middle-aged slow man, with a mouth like a fish, dull staring eyes, and sandy hair standing upright on his head, so that he looked as if he had just been all but chocked, and had that moment come to; `I have brought you, as the compliments of the season - I have brought you, Mum, a bottle of sherry wine - and I have brought you, Mum, a bottle of port wine.'
Every Christmas Day he presented himself, as a profound novelty, with exactly the same words, and carrying the two bottles like dumb-bells. Every Christmas Day, Mrs Joe replied, as she now replied, `Oh, Un - cle Pum - ble - chook! This IS kind!' Every Christmas Day, he retorted, as he now retorted, `It's no more than your merits. And now are you all bobbish, and how's Sixpennorth of halfpence?' meaning me.
We dined on these occasions in the kitchen, and adjourned, for the nuts and oranges and apples, to the parlour; which was a change very like Joe's change from his working clothes to his Sunday dress. My sister was uncommonly lively on the present occasion, and indeed was generally more gracious in the society of Mrs Hubble than in other company. I remember Mrs Hubble as a little curly sharp-edged person in sky-blue, who held a conventionally juvenile position, because she had married Mr Hubble - I don't know at what remote period - when she was much younger than he. I remember Mr Hubble as a tough high-shouldered stooping old man, of a sawdusty fragrance, with his legs extraordinarily wide apart: so that in my short days I always saw some miles of open country between them when I met him coming up the lane.
Among this good company I should have felt myself, even if I hadn't robbed the pantry, in a false position. Not because I was squeezed in at an acute angle of the table-cloth, with the table in my chest, and the Pumblechookian elbow in my eye, nor because I was not allowed to speak (I didn't want to speak), nor because I was regaled with the scaly tips of the drumsticks of the fowls, and with those obscure corners of pork of which the pig, when living, had had the least reason to be vain. No; I should not have minded that, if they would only have left me alone. But they wouldn't leave me alone. They seemed to think the opportunity lost, if they failed to point the conversation at me, every now and then, and stick the point into me. I might have been an unfortunate little bull in a Spanish arena, I got so smartingly touched up by these moral goads.
It began the moment we sat down to dinner. Mr Wopsle said grace with theatrical declamation - as it now appears to me, something like a religious cross of the Ghost in Hamlet with Richard the Third - and ended with the very proper aspiration that we might be truly grateful. Upon which my sister fixed me with her eye, and said, in a low reproachful voice, `Do you hear that? Be grateful.'
`Especially,' said Mr Pumblechook, `be grateful, boy, to them which brought you up by hand.'
Mrs Hubble shook her head, and contemplating me with a mournful presentiment that I should come to no good, asked, `Why is it that the young are never grateful?' This moral mystery seemed too much for the company until Mr Hubble tersely solved it by saying, `Naterally wicious.' Everybody then murmured `True!' and looked at me in a particularly unpleasant and personal manner.
Joe's station and influence were something feebler (if possible) when there was company, than when there was none. But he always aided and comforted me when he could, in some way of his own, and he always did so at dinner-time by giving me gravy, if there were any. There being plenty of gravy to-day, Joe spooned into my plate, at this point, about half a pint.
A little later on in the dinner, Mr Wopsle reviewed the sermon with some severity, and intimated - in the usual hypothetical case of the Church being `thrown open' - what king of sermon he would have given them. After favouring them with some heads of that discourse, he remarked that he considered the subject of the day's homily, ill-chosen; which was the less excusable, he added, when there were so many subjects `going about.'
`True again,' said Uncle Pumblechook. `You've hit it, sir!Plenty of subjects going about, for them that know how to put salt upon their tails. That's what's wanted. A man needn't go far to find a subject, if he's ready with his salt-box.' Mr Pumblechook added, after a short interval of reflection, `Look at Pork alone. There's a subject! If you want a subject, look at Pork!'
`True, sir. Many a moral for the young,' returned Mr Wopsle; and I knew he was going to lug me in, before he said it; `might be deduced from that text.'
(`You listen to this,' said my sister to me, in a severe parenthesis.)
Joe gave me some more gravy.
`Swine,' pursued Mr Wopsle, in his deepest voice, and pointing his fork at my blushes, as if he were mentioning my christian name; `Swine were the companions of the prodigal. The gluttony of Swine is put before us, as an example to the young.' (I thought this pretty well in him who had been praising up the pork for being so plump and juicy.) `What is detestable in a pig, is more detestable in a boy.'
`Or girl,' suggested Mr Hubble.
`Of course, or girl, Mr Hubble,' assented Mr Wopsle, rather irritably, `but there is no girl present.'
`Besides,' said Mr Pumblechook, turning sharp on me, `think what you've got to be grateful for. If you'd been born a Squeaker--'
`He was, if ever a child was,' said my sister, most emphatically.
Joe gave me some more gravy.
`Well, but I mean a four-footed Squeaker,' said Mr Pumblechook. `If you had been born such, would you have been here now? Now you--'
`Unless in that form,' said Mr Wopsle, nodding towards the dish.
`But I don't mean in that form, sir,' returned Mr Pumblechook, who had an objection to being interrupted; `I mean, enjoying himself with his elders and betters, and improving himself with their conversation, and rolling in the lap of luxury. Would he have been doing that? No, he wouldn't. And what would have been your destination?' turning on me again. `You would have been disposed of for so many shillings according to the market price of the article, and Dunstable the butcher would have come up to you as you lay in your straw, and he would have whipped you under his left arm, and with his right he would have tucked up his frock to get a penknife from out of his waistcoat - pocket, and he would have shed your blood and had your life. No bringing up by hand then. Not a bit of it!'
Joe offered me more gravy, which I was afraid to take.
`He was a world of trouble to you, ma'am,' said Mrs Hubble, commiserating my sister.
`Trouble?' echoed my sister; `trouble?' and then entered on a fearful catalogue of all the illnesses I had been guilty of, and all the acts of sleeplessness I had committed, and all the high places I had tumbled from, and all the low places I had tumbled into, and all the injuries I had done myself, and all the times she had wished me in my grave, and I had contumaciously refused to go there.
I think the Romans must have aggravated one another very much, with their noses. Perhaps, they became the restless people they were, in consequence. Anyhow, Mr Wopsle's Roman nose so aggravated me, during the recital of my misdemeanours, that I should have liked to pull it until he howled. But, all I had endured up to this time, was nothing in comparison with the awful feelings that took possession of me when the pause was broken which ensued upon my sister's recital, and in which pause everybody had looked at me (as I felt painfully conscious) with indignation and abhorrence.
`Yet,' said Mr Pumblechook, leading the company gently back to the theme from which they had strayed, `Pork - regarded as biled - is rich, too; ain't it?'
`Have a little brandy, uncle,' said my sister.
O Heavens, it had come at last! He would find it was weak, he would say it was weak, and I was lost! I held tight to the leg of the table under the cloth, with both hands, and awaited my fate.
My sister went for the stone bottle, came back with the stone bottle, and poured his brandy out: no one else taking any. The wretched man trifled with his glass - took it up, looked at it through the light, put it down - prolonged my misery. All this time, Mrs Joe and Joe were briskly clearing the table for the pie and pudding.
I couldn't keep my eyes off him. Always holding tight by the leg of the table with my hands and feet, I saw the miserable creature finger his glass playfully, take it up, smile, throw his head back, and drink the brandy off. Instantly afterwards, the company were seized with unspeakable consternation, owing to his springing to his feet, turning round several times in an appalling spasmodic whooping-cough dance, and rushing out at the door; he then became visible through the window, violently plunging and expectorating, making the most hideous faces, and apparently out of his mind.
I held on tight, while Mrs Joe and Joe ran to him. I didn't know how I had done it, but I had no doubt I had murdered him somehow. In my dreadful situation, it was a relief when he was brought back, and, surveying the company all round as if they had disagreed with him, sank down into his chair with the one significant gasp, `Tar!'
I had filled up the bottle from the tar-water jug. I knew he would be worse by-and-by. I moved the table, like a Medium of the present day, by the vigour of my unseen hold upon it.
`Tar!' cried my sister, in amazement. `Why, how ever could Tar come there?'
But, Uncle Pumblechook, who was omnipotent in that kitchen, wouldn't hear the word, wouldn't hear of the subject, imperiously waved it all away with his hand, and asked for hot gin-and-water. My sister, who had begun to be alarmingly meditative, had to employ herself actively in getting the gin, the hot water, the sugar, and the lemon-peel, and mixing them. For the time at least, I was saved. I still held on to the leg of the table, but clutched it now with the fervour of gratitude.
By degrees, I became calm enough to release my grasp and partake of pudding. Mr Pumblechook partook of pudding. All partook of pudding. The course terminated, and Mr Pumblechook had begun to beam under the genial influence of gin-and-water. I began to think I should get over the day, when my sister said to Joe, `Clean plates - cold.'
I clutched the leg of the table again immediately, and pressed it to my bosom as if it had been the companion of my youth and friend of my soul. I foresaw what was coming, and I felt that this time I really was gone.
`You must taste,' said my sister, addressing the guests with her best grace, `You must taste, to finish with, such a delightful and delicious present of Uncle Pumblechook's!'
Must they! Let them not hope to taste it!
`You must know,' said my sister, rising, `it's a pie; a savoury pork pie.'
The company murmured their compliments. Uncle Pumblechook, sensible of having deserved well of his fellow-creatures, said - quite vivaciously, all things considered - `Well, Mrs Joe, we'll do our best endeavours; let us have a cut at this same pie.'
My sister went out to get it. I heard her steps proceed to the pantry. I saw Mr Pumblechook balance his knife. I saw re-awakening appetite in the Roman nostrils of Mr Wopsle. I heard Mr Hubble remark that `a bit of savoury pork pie would lay atop of anything you could mention, and do no harm,' and I heard Joe say, `You shall have some, Pip.' I have never been absolutely certain whether I uttered a shrill yell of terror, merely in spirit, or in the bodily hearing of the company. I felt that I could bear no more, and that I must run away. I released the leg of the table, and ran for my life.
But, I ran no further than the house door, for there I ran head foremost into a party of soldiers with their muskets: one of whom held out a pair of handcuffs to me, saying, `Here you are, look sharp, come on!'
 
我满腹狐疑地以为一定有警察坐在厨房里，等我回来逮住我。然而，厨房中不仅没有警察等着，而且连我偷窃的事也没有被发觉。乔夫人正在干劲十足地大忙特忙，为了庆贺节日要把房子打扫得一干二净，所以乔只得被赶到厨房的门阶上，免得在她的簸箕前碍手碍脚。我姐姐要么不扫地，一扫起来总是精力旺盛地使尽全身解数。迟早有一天，乔会被我姐姐一扫帚扫进簸箕里去。
“你这个鬼东西刚才又死到哪里去了？”我怀着良心的自责回到家里时，姐姐看到我说的圣诞节祝贺辞就是这句话。
我说我去听圣诞颂歌了。“嗯，这就好！”她说道，“我原以为你又去干什么坏事了。”我想，她说的一点不假。
“我要是不当上铁匠的老婆，不成为围裙不离身的奴隶，反正铁匠老婆和奴隶是一样的，我也会去听圣诞颂歌。”乔夫人说道，“我本人对圣诞颂歌特别偏爱，但我一辈子也没有听过，也许这就是我偏爱它的最好理由。”
当簸箕从我们面前拿走之后，乔才壮着胆子跟我走进厨房。他用手背擦了一下鼻子，对着乔夫人的瞪眼，表现出和平共处的气慨。等乔夫人的眼光转过去后，他偷偷地把两只手的食指交叉在一起，让我看这个手势，以表明乔夫人正在气头上。其实她总是在生气，生气是她的平时表现。她一生气，乔和我就得几个星期地受气，变成了十字军战士，因为不朽的十字军战士总是叉着腿站着，两腿叉立和两食指交叉一样都是怒气冲冲的象征。
今天我们将有一顿盛况空前的丰富午餐，上的菜会有青菜烧腌猪腿，一对八宝烤鸭。昨天早晨就做好了一块漂亮的碎肉饼，所以碎肉不见了这件事还没有被发觉。另外，布了也已经开始用水蒸了。中饭的盛大安排却简而单之地把我们的早餐给挤掉了。乔夫人说：“我没有时间给你们大摆筵席，让你们又吞又饮，然后再给你们洗碗涮碟，摆在我面前的事情很多，我告诉你们，不要指望。”
所以我们只得弄点面包片充饥。现在，我们仿佛是拥有两千士兵的军队在急行军，而不是两个待在家中的大人和孩子。我们把柜子上的一罐加水牛奶大口地倒在嘴里，脸上露出抱歉的表情。这时，乔夫人挂上了洁白的窗帘，在宽阔的壁炉架上钉了一块新的花边布，换下了旧的，还打开了过道上的正式会客室。这个会客室专门为节日开放，而其他时间都只能和银箔纸雾气般的寒光共同度过。这种雾气般的寒光一直照到壁炉架上四只玲珑可爱的白色陶瓷小狮子狗身上。每一条狗都有一只黑鼻子，嘴中衔着一篮子花朵，造型色彩都一模一样。乔夫人是一位非常爱干净的家庭主妇，但因为她非常过分地爱干净，到头来，她的干净比起肮脏更使人感到不舒服，不愉快。于净本是虔诚的邻居，所以有些虔诚的人也就爱起干净来了。
我的姐姐由于有许许多多的事情要做，上教堂的任务只能由代表履行，也就是说，由乔和我代替她去。乔穿起工装倒是一个结结实实。很有性格的铁匠，但是一穿起节日服装，就变成了一个矫揉造作的稻草人。他的节日服装穿起来既不合身，也不像是他的。他穿在身上的每一件衣服都好像在咬他的肉。在这圣诞节的日子里，当教堂的欢乐钟声响起，他从房中走出来，穿着那套节日礼服，完全是一副可怜的样子。至于我，我的姐姐自有她的想法，把我看作是一个小讨债鬼，出生的那一天由警察局里的产科医生接生出来并交给她，由她任意处置，甚至可以破坏法律的原则。我从一生下来到现在所受到的待遇，就好像我天生就是理性、宗教以及道德准则的死对头，就是反对好朋友的劝阻，本来不该出生，而我却坚持出生的。就连带我去做一套新衣服，裁缝师傅也受命把它们做成感化院里的式样，决不考虑放开我的手脚让其自由行动。
所以乔和我到教堂的这副仪表对于那些有怜悯心肠的人来说，一定会令其大为感动。其实我外表所忍受的痛苦比起内心所忍受的痛苦来说是微不足道的。只要我姐姐走近食品间，或者从食品间走出来，我就神魂不定，心惊肉跳，然而，毕竟是我亲手进行的偷窃，想起来又是悔恨交加。这害怕和悔恨的心情在我的内心是势均力敌的。秘密作恶的沉重担子压在我的心头，我在思付，要是我向教会坦白交待，教会有没有能力保护我，使我躲过那个令人毛骨悚然的年轻人的复仇。于是，我打定了主意，在教堂宣布结婚预告时，等牧师说“如有异议可陈述己见”后，我就挺身而出，并且建议到祷告间去和牧师密谈。可惜这一天是圣诞节，不是礼拜天，否则我说不定真会采取这个极端的手段，使全体教民大吃一惊的。
教堂里的职员沃甫赛先生那天要到我们家来吃饭，另外来吃饭的还有车匠胡卜先生及胡卜夫人，还有彭波契克舅舅。应该说他是乔的舅舅，不过乔夫人却把他占为自己的舅舅。舅舅在附近的镇上做粮食生意，手头富裕，出门有自己的马车。中餐定在下午一时半。乔和我从教堂回到家时，餐桌已整理就绪，乔夫人也打扮了一番。菜肴已下锅，正门也打开了（这门在其他时间是不开放的），准备迎接客人的光临，处处都显得富丽堂皇。到现在为止，关于失窃之事一个字也没有提到。
午餐的时间到了，但这没有使我心情轻松；宾客纷至，也没有使我负疚的情感如释重负。沃甫赛先生生了一只鹰钩鼻，还有个大而秃的前额，泛出亮亮的油光。他的语音深沉洪亮，为此他十分骄傲。凡是他的朋友都晓得，只要任他自由发挥，他念起经文来，连牧师也比不上。他认为，如果教会实行开放政策，进行竞选，他只要参加竞争，就一定当选，决不会失望。可是教会并不实行开放政策，他还是教堂的一个职员，这我在前面就提到过。于是，他只能狠狠地惩罚“阿门”。在他诵读圣诗时，总是清清楚楚地读完一整节，然后向下面的会众环视一下，仿佛在说：“你们听到上面的这个朋友朗诵得如何，再看看他的朗诵风格怎样，提提你们的意见。”
我打开正门迎接宾客。这是为了使他们相信，我们历来都是开大门的。我迎接的第一个人是沃甫赛先生，第二次迎接的是胡卜先生和夫人，最后才是彭波契克舅舅。虽然这里我称他舅舅，但请注意，我姐姐是不允许我叫他舅舅的，否则我就会受到非常严厉的惩罚。
“乔夫人，”彭波契克进来后对姐姐说道。他是一个大块头的中年人，行动缓慢，呼吸困难，生了张鱼一般的扁嘴，眼睛迟钝却睁得滚圆，沙色的头发根根竖立在头上，那模样真像被问得昏迷了过去而现在才苏醒过来一样。“我给你捎来节日的问候，夫人，我为你捎来了一瓶雪莉酒，夫人，我还为你捎来了一瓶葡萄牙波特红葡萄酒。”
每一年的圣诞节他都要来，讲的是相同的话，还自以为很有新意，抱来的是两只相同的像哑铃一般的酒瓶。每一年的圣诞节，乔夫人的答谢语也是一成不变的，和现在说的一样：“噢！彭——波——契克舅舅！可真谢您了！”每一年的圣诞节，听了姐姐的答谢后，他照例还是几句旧话：“一切都是你的功劳。你们都健康愉快吗？这个小东西怎么样呢？”小东西就是指我。
在每年的佳节时刻，我们总是在厨房中吃午餐，然后到客厅去吃胡桃、桔子和苹果。从厨房变换到客厅，就好像乔从工作服变换成节日礼服一样。现在我的姐姐是从来未有过的愉快，尤其和胡卜夫人在一起比和其他人在一起表现得更加态度自若、和蔼可亲。在我的记忆中，胡卜夫人娇小瘦弱，一头鬈发，身着天蓝色衣服，保持了少女般的天真姿态。她是在什么遥远的时期和胡卜先生结婚的，我不知道，但有一点可以肯定，她比胡卜先生年轻得太多了。胡卜先生在我的记忆中，是一个体格健壮的高肩膀的人，但腰背有些驼，身上散发出刨花的香气，两条腿走起路来总是分得特别开。早些年我个子很矮，在巷口看到他走来，从他的两腿之间可以望到几英里宽的乡间旷野。
在这批贵宾之间，我本来就感到身价比他们低一等，何况我还偷了食品间的东西。我的身价低并不是因为我被挤在桌子的一个小尖角旁，胸口和桌子一样高，彭波契克的胳膊肘总是碰到我的眼睛；也不是因为他们不许我讲话，其实我根本不想讲话；也不是因为他们款待我，请我吃的全是些带着鳞皮的鸡爪子和不知道是猪身上哪一处地方的东西，其实即使这猪在它的生前也不会为这些东西而夸耀。不，全然不是这些理由。如果他们把我丢在一边使我孤零零的，我不会介意。问题是他们并不把我丢在一边。他们以为，如果不指指划划地谈论我，不把我当作话柄儿，简直是有失良机。我几乎成了西班牙斗牛场中一头不幸的小公牛，被他们满嘴的仁义道德刺得通体伤痛。
我们各就各位开始用膳时，他们也开始了对我的攻击。沃甫赛先生像读剧本台词那样念他的膳前祷告，现在想起来，可有点儿像《哈姆莱特》及《理查三世》中有关鬼魂出现的宗教仪式。最后他以大家要诚心诚意感恩的愿望结束了祷告。听到这句话，我姐姐用她的目光盯着我，并且带着责备的口吻，低声地对我说：“听到他说的话吗？要感恩。”
彭波契克先生也凑热闹地说道：“小孩子，特别要对把你一手带大的人们感恩。”
胡卜夫人也摇晃着她的脑袋。她有一种令人痛心的预感，那就是我不会有什么好前程。她问我：“为什么那些年轻人总是不懂得感恩呢？”她提出的这个道德问题太神秘而深不可测，弄得大家也哑口无言，还是胡卜先生一针见血地揭开了谜底：“他们都是天生的坏蛋。”接着大家都附和说“真妙！”同时，用一种特别令人讨厌的、似乎带有个人深仇的目光打量着我。
乔在家中的地位和影响是不大的，如果有客人在场，他的地位和影响就更加弱小。尽管如此，他不会忘记在他可能的情况下以他的方式帮助我和安慰我。在吃饭的时候，只要饭桌上有肉汁，他总要给我舀一些。今天饭桌上有很多肉汁，乔用汤匙舀起装在我盆子里的到这时已有半品脱之多。
过了一会儿，沃甫赛先生又打开他的话匣子，一本正经、声色俱厉地指责了今天牧师的布道词，并且暗示他那套老话，也就是如果教会实行开放政策的话，他的布道词一定会是如何如何令人满意。吹了一通后，他又提出几个重要的地方，接着又批评今天讲道的主题，说根本选择不当。他又说，现在好主题多如牛毛，随手可得，因此今天所选择的主题更是不可原谅的。
“你又一次说对了，”彭波契克舅舅说道，“你真是一针见血，先生！只要你掌握了用饵去诱捕鸟的诀窍，主题自然随手可得。这就是我们所需要的。无论谁，只要准备好诱捕的饵，不要走多远，猎物就会上钩的。”彭波契克先生若有所思地想了片刻，又说道：“就拿猪肉来说吧，这就是个好主题！你如果想找个布道主题，猪肉就是一个！”
“一点不错，先生，对于小字辈来讲，”沃甫赛先生刚说了半句，我就知道他把他的主题又硬扯到我身上来了。“他们可以从中吸取许许多多的教训。”
“你该听听这些话。”我姐姐十分严厉地对我说。
乔却又给我舀了些肉汁。
“就猪这个主题来说，”沃甫赛先生用深沉洪亮的声音说着，还用叉子指着我被他们羞红了的脸，仿佛猪就是我的教名似的，“猪是挥霍浪费、好吃懒做的人的好友。猪贪吃的下场就在眼前，小字辈应该引以为训。”我想，刚才他还在夸奖猪呢，说猪长得多胖，多么有油，等等，怎么一下子又改变了话锋，可谓妙哉。他接着说：“猪是令人讨嫌的，而像猪一样的男孩子就更令人讨嫌。”
“还有像猪一样的女孩子。”胡卜先生提示性地说道。
“当然，像猪一样的女孩子也令人讨嫌，胡卜先生，”沃甫赛先生嘴上不得不附和，而内心却有些恼怒，“不过，这儿没有女孩。”
彭波契克先生这时急速地转向我说道：“还有，你得想一想，该感恩报德些什么。如果你生下来是一个哇哇乱叫的小崽子——”
我姐姐还没有等别人的话讲完便肯定地说：
“他就是会哇哇乱叫，世上没有像他这样的孩子。”
乔又给我舀了些肉汁。
“是这么回事，不过我说的是生着四只蹄子的小猪崽子。”彭波契克先生说道，“如果你生下来就是小猪崽子，现在你还会在这里吗？你不——”
“就是在这里，”沃甫赛先生对着盘子中的猪肉示意性地点了点头说，“也会变成这模样。”
“我的意思可不是说这种模样，先生。”彭波契克先生因为话被打断，心中十分不快，所以反驳了他的说法。“我的意思是指他还能不能和大人长辈们一起享受幸福的生活，以大人长辈们的教导来改进自己，不断进步，在挥霍浪费中享受荣华呢？他还能这样做吗？不，他不能。那么你会落到什么困地呢？”这时他又转向我说， “你会被牵到市场去，按照市场现价卖得几个先令。然后，来了个杀猪的屠夫，朝你躺着的稻草堆走过来，一把把你夹在左胳肢窝下，右手撩起他的杀猪袍，从背心口袋中掏出一把宰猪刀，一刀扎进去给你放血，结束了你的小命。那么，又有谁来把你一手带大呢？连影子也没有。”
乔又给我添了些肉汁，可我吓得不敢吃。
“夫人，他一定把你闹得不可开交吧。”胡卜夫人深感同情地对我姐姐说。
“闹得不可开交？”我姐姐重复了一句，“仅仅不可开交吗？”然后便进入了她的长篇大论，数说我罪有应得的种种疾病，以及不睡觉时犯下的一切坏事，说我曾经从什么什么高处摔下来，又曾经滚进什么什么低洼的地方去，又说我自作自受，给自己带来了多少伤害，还说她总是盼着我进入坟墓，可是我偏偏不如她意，一味地不想到坟墓里去。
我想，古代的罗马人相互激怒结怨，一定是因为彼此的鼻子。也许正是由于这个原因，罗马人成了历史上一个不安分守己的民族。无论如何，沃甫赛先生那罗马人的鹰钩鼻也激怒了我，在我的姐姐说我这也不好那也不对时，我真想去扯他的鼻子，一直扯到他大声嚎叫为止。我姐姐把我说得一无是处之后，大家沉默了一会儿，而就是在这沉默之中，我不知犯了什么罪过，每一个人都对我怒目而视，似乎对我痛恨之极，我的内心感受到极大的伤痛。然而，我忍气吞声地挨到现在，所受的一切苦难与我在这沉默被打破之后的可怕心情相比真算不上什么。
过了一会儿，彭波契克先生细声细语地又把大家的话题重新引向刚才一度走岔路的主题。“我说猪肉吧，一旦煮过后，倒也是油腻腻的有滋味，对不对？”
“尝口白兰地吧，舅舅。”我姐姐说道。
哦，天哪，终于大祸临头了！他只要一喝白兰地就会感到味儿太淡，就会说味道太淡，我也就没命了！我的双手在桌布下面紧紧地抱住桌腿，等待着我的恶运降临。
我姐姐跑进食品间去取石玉酒坛，回来时捧着石玉酒坛，把酒斟在他的杯子里。别人一点儿也没尝，只有这个大坏蛋端起酒杯把玩一番：将它举得高高的，通过射进的阳光仔细端详，然后又放下来。这便延长了我的不幸。这时，乔夫人和乔正欢快地收拾桌上的杯盘，准备给客人们上肉馅饼和布丁。
我一直望着他，不敢把目光移开。现在，我不仅双手紧抱桌腿，而且连双脚也盘在桌腿上了。我看着这个可怜的家伙用手指抚弄着杯子，端起来，露出微笑，然后才仰起头来，把白兰地一饮而尽。酒一进口，他突然跳了起来，弄得四座惊恐万状，不知发生了什么事。只见他一阵紧张的抽搐，围着桌子转了几圈，发酒疯似的咳着冲到门外。从窗子中望出去，只见他没命地顿足捶胸，唾沫四溅，做出最难看的鬼脸，完全像疯了一样。
我抱着桌腿不放，而乔夫人和乔向他奔去。我的确不知道我究竟是怎么做的，但无疑是我把他害苦了。正在我怕得手足无措时，他们把他扶了进来。我这才松了一口气。进来后，他看了四座的人一眼，仿佛是他们害了他一样，然后沉重地坐在椅子上，气喘吁吁地说出三个令人吃惊的字：“柏油水！”
我这才知道，我加进酒坛子中的竟是柏油水。根据我的经验，我知道一会儿以后他会感到更加难受。由于我在桌布下把桌腿抱得太紧，以至于整张桌子都给挪动了，就好像今日社会中的女巫在摆弄着那些招魂把戏一样。
“柏油水！”我姐姐吃惊不小地说道，“柏油水怎么可能跑到酒坛中去的？”
现在在这间厨房中，彭波契克舅舅是无所不能的主，他不愿意再听到柏油水这几个字，也不愿意再谈论这个主题。他专横跋扈地挥动着手，表示不要再多说了，快去把加水杜松子酒拿来。我姐姐从慌乱和思考中惊醒过来，不得不赶忙去准备杜松子酒、热水、食糖和柠檬皮，把这几样配在一起。至少在此时此刻我得救了。我依旧紧紧地抱着桌腿不放，而心中却是充满了说不尽的感激。
我的心情渐渐地平静下来，平静得使我松开了抱紧桌腿的手脚，并且开始分享布丁的滋味。彭彼契克先生也坐下来吃布了，所有的人都吃起了布丁。这道甜食结束后，由于加水杜松子酒起了作用，彭波契克先生的面孔又泛起红光。我想，今天总算挨过去了，可正想到这里，我姐姐对乔说道：“把干净盘子拿来，不用烤热。”
这一声使我不得不立刻又抱紧了桌腿，将它紧贴在胸口上，仿佛它是我幼年的同伴，心灵的密友。我预感到麻烦已经降临。这一回我真的倒霉了。
我姐姐和颜悦色地对宾客们说道：“你们一定要尝一尝，在结束这次节日宴席的时候，请你们尝一口彭波契克舅舅送来的讨人喜爱且美味可口的礼物。”
一定要让大家尝吗？还是不要让他们尝为好。
“我得让你们知道，”姐姐站起来说道，“还有一块饼，是一块美味可口的猪肉馅饼。”
一听说有猪肉馅饼，大家都咕咕哝哝地讲着恭维话。彭波契克舅舅显得最为活跃。刚才的尴尬局面已经过去，现在他自以为是在座最该享受馅饼的人。“好，乔夫人，我们就准备大享口福了，让我们共享一块肉馅饼吧。”
我姐姐起身出去取饼。我听到她的脚步声进入了食品间。我看到彭波契克先生摆弄着餐刀。我又看到在沃甫赛先生鹰钩鼻的鼻孔张合中表现出重新苏醒的食欲。我听到胡卜先生的高论：“吃一点儿美味可口的肉馅饼，是刚才吃的许多东西的点缀，是有益无害的。”我又听到乔对我说：“你也有一份尝尝，皮普。”我害怕得大叫了一声，不过，这惊恐的呼叫究竟是心灵内部的还是大家都听得到的，我至今也不能确定。总之，我感到无法再忍受下去，我必须逃跑了。于是我把紧抱着桌腿的手脚松开，赶忙没命地向门外逃去。
我刚刚跑到屋门口，就一头撞进了一队士兵当中。他们手持滑膛枪，其中的一个拿着一副手铐，对我说道：“到了到了，快，跟我进来。”
Chapter 5
THE apparition of a file of soldiers ringing down the butt-ends of their loaded muskets on our door-step, caused the dinner-party to rise from table in confusion, and caused Mrs Joe re-entering the kitchen empty-handed, to stop short and stare, in her wondering lament of `Gracious goodness gracious me, what's gone - with the - pie!' 
The sergeant and I were in the kitchen when Mrs Joe stood staring; at which crisis I partially recovered the use of my senses. It was the sergeant who had spoken to me, and he was now looking round at the company, with his handcuffs invitingly extended towards them in his right hand, and his left on my shoulder.
`Excuse me, ladies and gentleman,' said the sergeant, `but as I have mentioned at the door to this smart young shaver' (which he hadn't), `I am on a chase in the name of the king, and I want the blacksmith.'
`And pray what might you want with him?' retorted my sister, quick to resent his being wanted at all.
`Missis,' returned the gallant sergeant, `speaking for myself, I should reply, the honour and pleasure of his fine wife's acquaintance; speaking for the king, I answer, a little job done.'
This was received as rather neat in the sergeant; insomuch that Mr Pumblechook cried audibly, `Good again!'
`You see, blacksmith,' said the sergeant, who had by this time picked out Joe with his eye, `we have had an accident with these, and I find the lock of one of 'em goes wrong, and the coupling don't act pretty. As they are wanted for immediate service, will you throw your eye over them?'
Joe threw his eye over them, and pronounced that the job would necessitate the lighting of his forge fire, and would take nearer two hours than one, `Will it? Then will you set about it at once, blacksmith?' said the off-hand sergeant, `as it's on his Majesty's service. And if my men can beat a hand anywhere, they'll make themselves useful.' With that, he called to his men, who came trooping into the kitchen one after another, and piled their arms in a corner. And then they stood about, as soldiers do; now, with their hands loosely clasped before them; now, resting a knee or a shoulder; now, easing a belt or a pouch; now, opening the door to spit stiffly over their high stocks, out into the yard.
All these things I saw without then knowing that I saw them, for I was in an agony of apprehension. But, beginning to perceive that the handcuffs were not for me, and that the military had so far got the better of the pie as to put it in the background, I collected a little more of my scattered wits.
`Would you give me the Time?' said the sergeant, addressing himself to Mr Pumblechook, as to a man whose appreciative powers justified the inference that he was equal to the time.
`It's just gone half-past two.'
`That's not so bad,' said the sergeant, reflecting; `even if I was forced to halt here nigh two hours, that'll do. How far might you call yourselves from the marshes, hereabouts? Not above a mile, I reckon?'
`Just a mile,' said Mrs Joe.
`That'll do. We begin to close in upon 'em about dusk. A little before dusk, my orders are. That'll do.'
`Convicts, sergeant?' asked Mr Wopsle, in a matter-of-course way.
`Ay!' returned the sergeant, `two. They're pretty well known to be out on the marshes still, and they won't try to get clear of 'em before dusk. Anybody here seen anything of any such game?'
Everybody, myself excepted, said no, with confidence. Nobody thought of me.
`Well!' said the sergeant, `they'll find themselves trapped in a circle, I expect, sooner than they count on. Now, blacksmith! If you're ready, his Majesty the King is.'
Joe had got his coat and waistcoat and cravat off, and his leather apron on, and passed into the forge. One of the soldiers opened its wooden windows, another lightened the fire, another turned to at the bellows, the rest stood round the blaze, which was soon roaring. Then Joe began to hammer and clink, hammer and clink, and we all looked on.
The interest of the impending pursuit not only absorbed the general attention, but even made my sister liberal. She drew a pitcher of beer from the cask, for the soldiers, and invited the sergeant to take a glass of brandy. But Mr Pumblechook said, sharply, `Give him wine, Mum. I'll engage there's no Tar in that:' so, the sergeant thanked him and said that as he preferred his drink without tar, he would take wine, if it was equally convenient. When it was given him, he drank his Majesty's health and Compliments of the Season, and took it all at a mouthful and smacked his lips.
`Good stuff, eh, sergeant?' said Mr Pumblechook.
`I'll tell you something,' returned the sergeant; `I suspect that stuff's of your providing.'
Mr. Pumblechook, with a fat sort of laugh, said, `Ay, ay? Why?'
`Because,' returned the sergeant, clapping him on the shoulder, `you're a man that knows what's what.'
`D'ye think so?' said Mr Pumblechook, with his former laugh. `Have another glass!'
`With you. Hob and nob,' returned the sergeant. `The top of mine to the foot of yours - the foot of yours to the top of mine - Ring once, ring twice - the best tune on the Musical Glasses! Your health. May you live a thousand years, and never be a worse judge of the right sort than you are at the present moment of your life!'
The sergeant tossed off his glass again and seemed quite ready for another glass. I noticed that Mr Pumblechook in his hospitality appeared to forget that he had made a present of the wine, but took the bottle from Mrs Joe and had all the credit of handing it about in a gush of joviality. Even I got some. And he was so very free of the wine that he even called for the other bottle, and handed that about with the same liberality, when the first was gone.
As I watched them while they all stood clustering about the forge, enjoying themselves so much, I thought what terrible good sauce for a dinner my fugitive friend on the marshes was. They had not enjoyed themselves a quarter so much, before the entertainment was brightened with the excitement he furnished. And now, when they were all in lively anticipation of `the two villains' being taken, and when the bellows seemed to roar for the fugitives, the fire to flare for them, the smoke to hurry away in pursuit of them, Joe to hammer and clink for them, and all the murky shadows on the wall to shake at them in menace as the blaze rose and sank and the red-hot sparks dropped and died, the pale after-noon outside, almost seemed in my pitying young fancy to have turned pale on their account, poor wretches.
At last, Joe's job was done, and the ringing and roaring stopped. As Joe got on his coat, he mustered courage to propose that some of us should go down with the soldiers and see what came of the hunt. Mr Pumblechook and Mr Hubble declined, on the plea of a pipe and ladies' society; but Mr Wopsle said he would go, if Joe would. Joe said he was agreeable, and would take me, if Mrs Joe approved. We never should have got leave to go, I am sure, but for Mrs Joe's curiosity to know all about it and how it ended. As it was, she merely stipulated, `If you bring the boy back with his head blown to bits by a musket, don't look to me to put it together again.'
The sergeant took a polite leave of the ladies, and parted from Mr Pumblechook as from a comrade; though I doubt if he were quite as fully sensible of that gentleman's merits under arid conditions, as when something moist was going. His men resumed their muskets and fell in. Mr Wopsle, Joe, and I, received strict charge to keep in the rear, and to speak no word after we reached the marshes. When we were all out in the raw air and were steadily moving towards our business, I treasonably whispered to Joe, `I hope, Joe, we shan't find them.' and Joe whispered to me, `I'd give a shilling if they had cut and run, Pip.'
We were joined by no stragglers from the village, for the weather was cold and threatening, the way dreary, the footing had, darkness coming on, and the people had good fires in-doors and were keeping the day. A few faces hurried to glowing windows and looked after us, but none came out. We passed the finger-post, and held straight on to the churchyard. There, we were stopped a few minutes by a signal from the sergeant's hand, while two or three of his men dispersed themselves among the graves, and also examined the porch. They came in again without finding anything, and then we struck out on the open marshes, through the gate at the side of the churchyard. A bitter sleet came rattling against us here on the east wind, and Joe took me on his back.
Now that we are out upon the dismal wilderness where they little thought I had been within eight or nine hours and had seen both men hiding, I considered for the first time, with great dread, if we should come upon them, would my particular convict suppose that it was I who had brought the soldiers there? He had asked me if I was a deceiving imp, and he had said I should be a fierce young hound if I joined the hunt against him. Would he believe that I was both imp and hound in treacherous earnest, and had betrayed him?
It was of no use asking myself this question now. There I was, on Joe's back, and there was Joe beneath me, charging at the ditches like a hunter, and stimulating Mr Wopsle not to tumble on his Roman nose, and to keep up with us. The soldiers were in front of us, extending into a pretty wide line with an interval between man and man. We were taking the course I had begun with, and from which I had diverged in the mist. Either the mist was not out again yet, or the wind had dispelled it. Under the low red glare of sunset, the beacon, and the gibbet, and the mound of the Battery, and the opposite shore of the river, were plain, though all of a watery lead colour.
With my heart thumping like a blacksmith at Joe's broad shoulder, I looked all about for any sign of the convicts. I could see none, I could hear none. Mr Wopsle had greatly alarmed me more than once, by his blowing and hard breathing; but I knew the sounds by this time, and could dissociate them from the object of pursuit. I got a dreadful start, when I thought I heard the file still going; but it was only a sheep bell. The sheep stopped in their eating and looked timidly at us; and the cattle, their heads turned from the wind and sleet, stared angrily as if they held us responsible for both annoyances; but, except these things, and the shudder of the dying day in every blade of grass, there was no break in the bleak stillness of the marshes.
The soldiers were moving on in the direction of the old Battery, and we were moving on a little way behind them, when, all of a sudden, we all stopped. For, there had reached us on the wings of the wind and rain, a long shout. It was repeated. It was at a distance towards the east, but it was long and loud. Nay, there seemed to be two or more shouts raised together - if one might judge from a confusion in the sound.
To this effect the sergeant and the nearest men were speaking under their breath, when Joe and I came up. After another moment's listening, Joe (who was a good judge) agreed, and Mr Wopsle (who was a bad judge) agreed. The sergeant, a decisive man, ordered that the sound should not be answered, but that the course should be changed, and that his men should make towards it `at the double.' So we slanted to the right (where the East was), and Joe pounded away so wonderfully, that I had to hold on tight to keep my seat.
It was a run indeed now, and what Joe called, in the only two words he spoke all the time, `a Winder.' Down banks and up banks, and over gates, and splashing into dykes, and breaking among coarse rushes: no man cared where he went. As we came nearer to the shouting, it became more and more apparent that it was made by more than one voice. Sometimes, it seemed to stop altogether, and then the soldiers stopped. When it broke out again, the soldiers made for it at a greater rate than ever, and we after them. After a while, we had so run it down, that we could hear one voice calling `Murder!' and another voice, `Convicts! Runaways! Guard!This way for the runaway convicts!' Then both voices would seem to be stifled in a struggle, and then would break out again. And when it had come to this, the soldiers ran like deer, and Joe too.
The sergeant ran in first, when we had run the noise quite down, and two of his men ran in close upon him. Their pieces were cocked and levelled when we all ran in.
`Here are both men!' panted the sergeant, struggling at the bottom of a ditch. `Surrender, you two! and confound you for two wild beasts! Come asunder!'
Water was splashing, and mud was flying, and oaths were being sworn, and blows were being struck, when some more men went down into the ditch to help the sergeant, and dragged out, separately, my convict and the other one. Both were bleeding and panting and execrating and struggling; but of course I knew them both directly.
`Mind!' said my convict, wiping blood from his face with his ragged sleeves, and shaking torn hair from his fingers: `I took him!I give him up to you! Mind that!'
`It's not much to be particular about,' aid the sergeant; `it'll do you small good, my man, being in the same plight yourself. Handcuffs there!'
`I don't expect it to do me any good. I don't want it to do me more good than it does now,' said my convict, with a greedy laugh. `I took him. He knows it. That's enough for me.'
The other convict was livid to look at, and, in addition to the old bruised left side of his face, seemed to be bruised and torn all over. He could not so much as get his breath to speak, until they were both separately handcuffed, but leaned upon a soldier to keep himself from falling.
`Take notice, guard - he tried to murder me,' were his first words.
`Tried to murder him?' said my convict, disdainfully. `Try, and not do it? I took him, and giv' him up; that's what I done. I not only prevented him getting off the marshes, but I dragged him here - dragged him this far on his way back. He's a gentleman, if you please, this villain. Now, the Hulks has got its gentleman again, through me. Murder him? Worth my while, too, to murder him, when I could do worse and drag him back!'
The other one still gasped, `He tried - he tried - to - murder me. Bear - bear witness.'
`Lookee here!' said my convict to the sergeant. `Single-handed I got clear of the prison-ship; I made a dash and I done it. I could ha' got clear of these death-cold flats likewise - look at my leg: you won't find much iron on it - if I hadn't made discovery that he was here. Let him go free? Let him profit by the means as I found out? Let him make a tool of me afresh and again? Once more? No, no, no. If I had died at the bottom there;' and he made an emphatic swing at the ditch with his manacled hands; `I'd have held to him with that grip, that you should have been safe to find him in my hold.'
The other fugitive, who was evidently in extreme horror of his companion, repeated, `He tried to murder me. I should have been a dead man if you had not come up.'
`He lies!' said my convict, with fierce energy. `He's a liar born, and he'll die a liar. Look at his face; ain't it written there? Let him turn those eyes of his on me. I defy him to do it.'
The other, with an effort at a scornful smile - which could not, however, collect the nervous working of his mouth into any set expression - looked at the soldiers, and looked about at the marshes and at the sky, but certainly did not look at the speaker.
`Do you see him?' pursued my convict. `Do you see what a villain he is? Do you see those grovelling and wandering eyes? That's how he looked when we were tried together. He never looked at me.'
The other, always working and working his dry lips and turning his eyes restlessly about him far and near, did at last turn them for a moment on the speaker, with the words, `You are not much to look at,' and with a half-taunting glance at the bound hands. At that point, my convict became so frantically exasperated, that he would have rushed upon him but for the interposition of the soldiers. `Didn't I tell you,' said the other convict then, `that he would murder me, if he could?' And any one could see that he shook with fear, and that there broke out upon his lips, curious white flakes, like thin snow.
`Enough of this parley,' said the sergeant. `Light those torches.'
As one of the soldiers, who carried a basket in lieu of a gun, went down on his knee to open it, my convict looked round him for the first time, and saw me. I had alighted from Joe's back on the brink of the ditch when we came up, and had not moved since. I looked at him eagerly when he looked at me, and slightly moved my hands and shook my head. I had been waiting for him to see me, that I might try to assure him of my innocence. It was not at all expressed to me that he even comprehended my intention, for he gave me a look that I did not understand, and it all passed in a moment. But if he had looked at me for an hour or for a day, I could not have remembered his face ever afterwards, as having been more attentive.
The soldier with the basket soon got a light, and lighted three or four torches, and took one himself and distributed the others. It had been almost dark before, but now it seemed quite dark, and soon afterwards very dark. Before we departed from that spot, four soldiers standing in a ring, fired twice into the air. Presently we saw other torches kindled at some distance behind us, and others on the marshes on the opposite bank of the river. `All right,' said the sergeant. `March.'
We had not gone far when three cannon were fired ahead of us with a sound that seemed to burst something inside my ear. `You are expected on board,' said the sergeant to my convict; `they know you are coming. Don't straggle, my man. Close up here.'
The two were kept apart, and each walked surrounded by a separate guard. I had hold of Joe's hand now, and Joe carried one of the torches. Mr Wopsle had been for going back, but Joe was resolved to see it out, so we went on with the party. There was a reasonably good path now, mostly on the edge of the river, with a divergence here and there where a dyke came, with a miniature windmill on it and a muddy sluice-gate. When I looked round, I could see the other lights coming in after us. The torches we carried, dropped great blotches of the upon the track, and I could see those, too, lying smoking and flaring. I could see nothing else but black darkness. Our lights warmed the air about us with their pitchy blaze, and the two prisoners seemed rather to like that, as they limped along in the midst of the muskets. We could not go fast, because of their lameness; and they were so spent, that two or three times we had to halt while they rested.
After an hour or so of this travelling, we came to a rough wooden hut and a landing-place. There was a guard in the hut, and they challenged, and the sergeant answered. Then, we went into the hut where there was a smell of tobacco and whitewash, and a bright fire, and a lamp, and a stand of muskets, and a drum, and a low wooden bedstead, like an overgrown mangle without the machinery, capable of holding about a dozen soldiers all at once. Three or four soldiers who lay upon it in their great-coats, were not much interested in us, but just lifted their heads and took a sleepy stare, and then lay down again. The sergeant made some kind of report, and some entry in a book, and then the convict whom I call the other convict was drafted off with his guard, to go on board first.
My convict never looked at me, except that once. While we stood in the hut, he stood before the fire looking thoughtfully at it, or putting up his feet by turns upon the hob, and looking thoughtfully at them as if he pitied them for their recent adventures. Suddenly, he turned to the sergeant, and remarked:
`I wish to say something respecting this escape. It may prevent some persons laying under suspicion alonger me.'
`You can say what you like,' returned the sergeant, standing coolly looking at him with his arms folded, `but you have no call to say it here. You'll have opportunity enough to say about it, and hear about it, before it's done with, you know.'
`I know, but this is another pint, a separate matter. A man can't starve; at least I can't. I took some wittles, up at the willage over yonder - where the church stands a'most out on the marshes.'
`You mean stole,' said the sergeant.
`And I'll tell you where from. From the blacksmith's.'
`Halloa!' said the sergeant, staring at Joe.
`Halloa, Pip!' said Joe, staring at me.
`It was some broken wittles - that's what it was - and a dram of liquor, and a pie.'
`Have you happened to miss such an articles as a pie, blacksmith?' asked the sergeant, confidentially.
`My wife did, at the very moment when you came in. Don't you know, Pip?'
`So,' said my convict, turning his eyes on Joe in a moody manner, and without the least glance at me; `so you're the blacksmith, are you? Than I'm sorry to say, I've eat your pie.'
`God knows you're welcome to it - so far as it was ever mine,' returned Joe, with a saving remembrance of Mrs Joe. `We don't know what you have done, but we wouldn't have you starved to death for it, poor miserable fellow-creatur. - Would us, Pip?'
The something that I had noticed before, clicked in the man's throat again, and he turned his back. The boat had returned, and his guard were ready, so we followed him to the landing-place made of rough stakes and stones, and saw him put into the boat, which was rowed by a crew of convicts like himself. No one seemed surprised to see him, or interested in seeing him, or glad to see him, or sorry to see him, or spoke a word, except that somebody in the boat growled as if to dogs, `Give way, you!' which was the signal for the dip of the oars. By the light of torches, we was the black Hulk lying out a little way from the mud of the shore, like a wicked Noah's ark. Cribbed and barred and moored by massive rusty chains, the prison-ship seemed in my young eyes to be ironed like the prisoners. We saw the boat go alongside, and we saw him taken up the side and disappear. Then, the ends of the torches were flung hissing into the water, and went out, as if it were all over with him.
 
这队士兵一出现在我家门口，便把装了子弹的滑膛枪放下来，哗哗啦啦地发出一阵乱响。围桌而坐的客人们不得不丢弃宴席，慌乱一团地站起来。我姐姐正两手空空地从食品间回来，本来嘴里骂骂咧咧地说着：“老天啊，这块肉馅饼——到——哪去了呢？”一看到这局面，便立刻停止了还想讲的话，大吃一惊，目瞪口呆。
乔夫人正像个木鸡一样站在那里的时候，那巡官和我已经进入了厨房。在这个关键时刻，我紧张的神志反而有些安定下来。这个巡官就是刚才对我说话的人，现在正巡视着在座的每一个人，把右手拿着的手铐冲他们扬了一扬，似乎想请他们戴上。与此同时，他的左手搭在我的肩膀上。
“女士们，先生们，十分抱歉，”这位巡官对大家说道，“我是以皇家的名义来追捕逃犯的，刚才我已把这来意对这位聪明伶俐的小伙子说过了（他根本没有说过）。现在，我要找的是铁匠。”
“请问，你找他干什么？”我姐姐一听要找铁匠，心中立刻来火，便顶撞地问道。
“夫人，”这位骑士般的英勇巡官说道，“以我个人的名义，我应该说，今日拜见了他的贵夫人乃三生有幸，但是从皇家的立场说，我来找铁匠干件小事。”
这位巡官说得干净利落，有礼有节，连彭波契克先生都大声叫起好来：“说得真棒！”
这时，巡官用他的利眼已经认出了乔，对他说道：“铁匠师傅，你看，我们这个东西出了点故障，有一个锁失灵了，这两个零件也不好使唤了。由于我们急等着用，是不是请你帮我们检查一下？”
乔用他的目光扫了一下，便说干这种活儿一定要把风炉生起来，而且一个小时不够，非得两个小时才行。“真的吗？铁匠师傅，那么你马上就动手好吗？”这位脑筋灵活的巡官立刻说道，“这是为皇上陛下效劳，你要是人手不够，我的人都可供使唤。”说毕，他便召唤他的士兵。他们一个接一个地进入厨房，把兵器堆在一个角落里。然后，他们都遵照士兵的纪律站在那里：一会儿双手在身前松弛地交握着，一会儿放松一只膝盖或一侧肩膀，一会儿又松松裤带，松松子弹袋，一会儿又打开门，从他们又高又宽的军服领子上艰难地转过头，吐一口痰到院子中去。
所有发生的事情我都看到了，但对这些发生的事几乎视而不见，因为我处在极度的惊恐之中。但是我渐渐悟出，这副手铐并不是来铐我的，而且这列士兵的开进已使馅饼的事被丢在了一边，我的理智这才又恢复了不少。
“你能告诉我现在的时间吗？”巡官对着彭波契克先生问道。他一眼就看出彭波契克有判断能力，并且得出结论，彭波契克先生就等于时间，问他绝对没错。
“刚好两点半。”
“那还行，”巡官想了一下说道，“即使被阻在这里两小时左右也没有关系，时间足够。从你们这儿到沼泽地要走多远的路程？我想不超过一英里，是吗？”
“正好一英里。”乔夫人说道。
“行，到黄昏的时候我们开始挺进，上面的命令也是要我在天黑之前开始追捕，肯定来得及。”
“是追逃犯，巡官？”沃甫赛先生装出一副不言而喻的神态说道。
“嗯！”巡官答道，“两个逃犯。据我们掌握的情况，他们现在还躲在沼泽地里，在黄昏之前他们是不会向外逃的。你们有谁见到过他们吗？”
每一个人，当然我不算在内，都说没有。当然他们也不会知道我晓得。
“不管怎样，”巡官说道，“这两个逃犯绝对想不到这么快他们就陷在我们的包围圈中了。铁匠师傅，皇家的队伍已准备就绪，现在就看你的行动如何了。”
乔已把他的上衣和背心脱掉，解下领带，系上了皮围裙，走进他的铁匠铺。一个士兵跑来帮他打开木窗，另一个士兵帮他生了火，还有一个拉起了风箱，其余的士兵都站在风炉的四周，观看着正旺起来的火焰。接着，乔开始又锤又打起来，发出叮叮当当的声音。我们都站在一旁看着。
马上就要进行的追捕不仅吸引了大家的注意力，而且使我姐姐也慷慨起来了。她先从啤酒桶里舀出一壶啤酒给士兵们喝，然后又邀请巡官饮一杯白兰地。但彭波契克先生机警地说道：“给他喝葡萄酒吧，夫人，我看葡萄酒里没有掺柏油水。”巡官听后十分感谢他的提醒，说他喜欢喝不掺柏油水的酒，所以还是葡萄酒好，只要喝葡萄酒不造成麻烦就行。他接过了葡萄酒，先祝国王陛下健康，再祝他们节日愉快，然后一口饮尽，咂着嘴唇回味无穷。
“这是顶呱呱的货色，巡官，你说呢？”彭波契克先生说道。
“恕我冒昧，”巡官答道，“我猜想，这一定是你提供的货色吧。”
彭波契克先生开心地笑着说：“噢，噢，你怎么知道？”
巡官拍了一下他的肩头，答道：“因为你是一个识货的人。”
“你真这样想吗？”彭波契克先生依然笑容可掬地说道，“再来一杯怎么样？”
“你也来，我也来，你一杯，我一杯，”巡官说道，“杯底碰杯头，杯头碰杯底，碰一次，再一次，两杯相碰的音乐最动听！来，祝你健康，祝你长命千岁，现在能识货，将来更加能识货。”
巡官高高地把酒杯举起，一饮而尽。看上去他劲头十足，还想再来一杯。我看得很清楚，彭波契克先生慷慨大方得忘乎所以，竟忘掉这是送给别人的礼物，干脆从乔夫人手中接过酒瓶行起了地主之谊，凭一时高兴依次给大家敬酒，连我也尝了几口。一瓶喝完，他又大方地把第二瓶酒也要过来，像第一瓶一样，阔气大方地为大家一一斟酒。
我看着他们群集在熔炉的旁边，谈笑风生，兴高采烈。这不由不使我想起那位逃亡的朋友，他简直成了这顿午饭可怕的鲜味佐料，虽然他本人这时还藏身于沼泽地中。他们本来兴致也不高，一加上了他这调味品，顿时神情焕发，精神为之一振。现在，他们都生气勃勃地打赌，说“这两个歹徒”一定会被逮捕。风箱为了追捕逃犯而怒吼着，火光为了捉拿他们在闪耀着，烟雾在催促着去追赶他们，乔也在为了抓住他们而敲着打着。映照在墙上的阴郁可怕的影子，随着火光的起伏，威胁性地摇曳着，炽热的闪亮火星跌落下来，消失得无影无踪。我是个富于怜悯和幻想的孩子，幼稚地认为那天下午室外的一片暗淡，也是为了那可怜的人而变得如此苍白无光。
最后，乔的任务完成了，敲打的声音和风箱的声音也随之停止。乔穿起了他的大衣，并且鼓起勇气建议我们几个人尾随着士兵们一起去，看看追捕犯人的结果究竟如何。彭波契克先生和胡卜先生推辞说不能去，因为他们要抽烟，而且要参加妇女活动，而沃甫赛先生说，只要乔跟着去，他一定也去。乔说他自然乐意，并且愿意带着我去，当然这需要乔夫人的赞成。我敢保证，当时要不是我姐姐出自好奇，想知道一切详细的经过和最后的结果，她一定不会让我们去的。就是这样，她还提出了条件，“如果你把这孩子带回来时，他的脑袋被滑膛枪子弹打开了花，别指望我会把它再补好。”
巡官倒是很有礼貌地辞别了女士们，也像一个情投意合的同志一样和彭波契克先生道了别。我真怀疑，要是这位巡官大人在这里干巴巴的，滴酒不沾，他是否还会如此讨好地说彭波契克先生的好话。士兵们重新拿起了枪，列好了队。沃甫赛先生，乔，还有我，都按照巡官的严格命令，跟在队伍的后头，而且到达沼泽地后绝对不能说话。我们走了出去，在严冬的寒气当中，坚定地向目的地前进。这时，我心中又冒出一个坏念头，低低地对乔说：“乔，我真希望找不到这些逃犯才好呢。”乔也低低地对我说：“他们要是都逃走了，皮普，我愿意拿出一个先令来。”
村子里没有人跑出来加入我们的行列，因为天气十分寒冷而且阴沉可怕，一路上显得很凄凉，脚下的路又不好走，黑幕也即将降临，家家户户都在屋内生着火炉，正享受着节日的温暖。有几张面孔匆匆忙忙地贴在相当明亮的窗子上跟着我们望，但一个也没有走出来。我们经过了指路的牌子，便一直向乡村的教堂墓地走去。在那里，巡官对我们做了一个手势，命令我们停几分钟。他派出两三个士兵分头到坟墓间去搜寻，也顺带查看一下教堂的门廊。他们什么也没有发现，就回来了。然后，我们从教堂墓地边上的门出去，向一片广阔的沼泽地进军。一阵严寒刺骨的雨夹雪沙沙地借着东风之便向我们迎面打来，乔把我背在了身上。
现在，我们已来到阴郁凄凉的荒野之地。他们绝不会想到，仅仅在八九个小时之前我就来过这里，而且亲眼看到过两个隐藏在这里的人。这时，我才第一次惊慌地考虑到，如果我们遇见这两个人，那个和我打过交道的逃犯会不会以为是我把士兵带来的？他早就问过我是不是一个骗人上当的小魔鬼，他还说过，要是我参加那些人来搜捕他，我就是一头凶狠的小猎犬。他真的会认为我既是一个小魔鬼又是一个小猎犬，真心诚意地做着伤天害理的事，把他给出卖了吗？
现在我提出这些问题来又有何用？反正，我现在在乔的背上，乔正背着我，像一匹真正的猎犬，飞越过道道沟渠，不时地还有意刺激着沃甫赛先生，叫他不要把罗马人的鹰钩鼻跌坏，要紧紧地跟上我们，不能掉队。士兵们走在我们前面，相互拉开了距离，排成一条宽宽的一字阵形。我们现在所选的路线正是我早晨走过的，不过那时的大雾把我领向了岔路。现在一片晴朗，要么是雾还没有出来，要么是风把雾吹散了，在夕阳低低的残照之下，那灯塔、绞刑架、古炮台的土丘，还有河岸的对面都清晰可见，抹着一层淡淡的铅灰色。
我伏在乔宽大的肩头上，胸中的心在怦怦地跳着，真像铁匠打铁时的铁锤声。我向四周张望，想发现一丝逃犯的痕迹，然而，我什么迹象也没有看到，什么动静也没有听到。沃甫赛先生的喘气声和粗重的呼吸声惊动了我好几次；后来我知道是他的声音，便分辨出这和所追捕的逃犯声音不同。突然，我又感到一阵可怕的惊慌，仿佛听到了用锉子锉镣铐的声音，再稍加注意才发现是绵羊身上的铃声。正在吃草的绵羊停下来胆怯地望着我们；牛群转过头避开了迎面的寒风和雨雪，冲我们瞪着愤怒的眼睛，仿佛寒风和雨雪都是我们带来的。除掉上述的这些声音外，就只有夕阳残照下每一根小草的战栗声，打破这一片沼泽的荒凉寂静了。
士兵们向着古炮台的方向走去，而我们跟在他们的后面，隔了一点儿距离。突然，我们都停了下来。风雨之中，一声呼喊传到我们耳中。喊声拖得很长，而且一声接一声。声音是从东边很远的某个地方传来的，但它既长又响。只要人们仔细地辨别出这喊声中的杂乱，就不难发现它是由两三个人的声音组成的。
乔和我赶上队伍的时候，巡官正在和几名最近的士兵低声讨论。再静听了一会儿之后，很有判断能力的乔赞成这一说法，连缺乏判断能力的沃甫赛先生也赞成这一说法。这巡官是一个有决断能力的人，立刻命令大家都不要对呼叫答腔，而且必须改变路线，他手下的人都要加倍快捷地向发出喊声的地方靠拢。我们向右侧跑去，也就是东边。乔飞跑而下，我不得不抓紧他的肩头，以免从他背上摔下来。
这次才算是货真价实的跑，乔一路上念叨着两个字来形容这次奔跑，“逃命”。我们跑上堤岸，又跑下堤岸，越过闸门，哗啦哗啦地涉水通过沟渠，在带毛的灯芯草丛中飞奔着。大家只顾向前跑，没人在意脚下的路。我们越来越靠近发出喊声的地方，也越来越清楚地辨别出确实不是一个人的声音，而是几个嗓子合在一起。有时喊声好像停了下来，于是士兵们的脚步也随着停了下来，一会儿喊声又响起来，于是士兵们便加快脚步搜寻下去。我们也紧跟不舍。又跑了一会儿，我们已到达喊声附近，连喊声的意思都听清了。我们听见一个声音喊道：“杀人啦！”紧接着另一个声音喊道：“罪犯在这里！有逃犯！来这里抓逃犯！”然而他们似乎扭打了起来，叫声便消失了，一会儿之后就又响了起来。士兵们既然来到了这里，再不能等待，于是像鹿一样飞奔而去。乔也跟随而去。
巡官跑在第一个，带头奔下水沟，两个士兵紧随着他，到达了喊声响起的地方。等我们也跑到那里时，他们已经举着枪，扣着扳机，瞄准了罪犯。
“两个都在这里！”巡官气喘喘地说道，在沟底尽力地迈着步。“你们两个家伙快投降吧！你们两个狂乱的野兽，还不快松开手！”
只见那儿水花四溅，污泥飞扬，恶斗者乱骂一通，拳来脚往战在一处。又有几个士兵跳进水沟帮助巡官抓人。他们终于把两个逃犯分别扭了出来，其中一个就是和我打过交道的。两个逃犯身上都流着血，喘着气，怒骂着，扭打着。自然，我立刻便认出了他们。
“向您报告！”我认识的那个犯人说着，用他那破烂的袖子擦着脸上的鲜血，又从手指上抖掉扯下的头发。“是我抓住了他！我把他交给您！请注意这一事实。”
“用不着多说，”巡官说道，“这对你不会有什么好处，我的囚犯，你和他一样都犯了罪。铐上手铐！”
“我并不想因此得到好处，也不指望现在的境况会得到什么改善。”我认识的犯人大笑着说，“是我抓住了他，他该知道这一点。仅此一点我已心满意足了。”
另一个犯人看上去面如土色，除掉左边面孔上有一块旧伤疤外，整个面孔都已经布满新伤，被抓得血肉模糊。他气喘得一句话也说不出，一直等到给他们两个分别戴上手铐，他还倚在一个士兵的身上以支撑自己不致跌倒。
他的第一句话是：“向您报告，卫兵，他企图谋杀我。”
“我企图谋杀他？”我认识的犯人蔑视地说道，“我既有企图，又为什么不杀他？我抓住了他，现在交给您；我所干的就是这件事。我不仅没让他从沼泽地逃走，而且把他拖到这里来，拖了长长一段路才拖到这里。像这样一个混蛋还装什么正人君子？现在监狱船又经过我的手把这个正人君子请回了。我会谋杀他吗？我把他揪回来，不是比谋杀他更有价值嘛！”
另一个犯人还是不断地喘着气，“他企——企图——谋杀我。你们可——可以作证。”
“听我说！”我认识的那个犯人对巡官说着，“我只身一人干净利落地逃出监狱船，而且一举成功。要是没有发现他在这里，我说不定已经逃出这块冻得人要死的鬼沼泽地——不妨看看我的腿，脚镣不是没有了吗？难道我会让他逃跑？难道我会让他用我想出的方法达到他的目的？难道我会让他把我当作工具，一次一次地利用我？不，绝不。即使我死在这水沟下面，”他举起戴手铐的双手用力地对着这沟渠猛然一甩，说道，“我也要紧紧不放地抓住他，让你们平平安安地把他从我的掌握中逮走。”
另一个逃犯显然对他的同伴害怕至极，只能反复地说以下的话：“他企图谋杀我。要是你们不及时赶到，我早就成为死人了。”
“他在撒谎！”我认识的那个犯人用凶狠的语调说道，“他是个天生的撒谎精，死也不会改变他撒谎的本性。看他的脸，一切的谎言都刻在上面。叫他用眼睛望着我，你看他敢不敢。”
另一个犯人费尽了气力想做出轻视的微笑，然而，他的嘴虽然神经质地动了几下，最终还是没有表现出微笑的表情。他望了一下土兵，又望了一下沼泽地和天空，就是不敢正视一下对方。
“你们看到他了吗？”我认识的那个犯人寸步不让地说道，“你们看到这个恶棍没有？你们看到他那摇尾乞怜、飘忽不定的眼光了吗？我们过去一起受审时他就是这副样子。他从来不敢对我正眼看一下。”
另一个罪犯总是微动着两片干燥的嘴唇，内心不安地把眼睛一会儿膘向远方，一会儿转向近处，最后才看了对方一眼，说道：“你有什么值得我看的？”又用半带嘲笑的目光看了一眼对方被戴上手铐的双手。听到这话，我认识的那个犯人疯狂地咒骂起来。本来他想向另一个犯人扑过去，但被士兵们拦住了。另一个犯人说道： “我不是早就告诉过你们，只要一遇上机会，他一定会谋杀我的。”无论谁这时都能看出他讲话时全身怕得直发抖，嘴唇溅上了白色的唾沫，真有点儿像小雪花。
“够了够了，用不着再争执了，”巡官说道，“把火把点起来。”
有一个士兵身上没有扛枪，却带了一个篮子。他蹲下来，掀开篮子盖。我认识的罪犯这才第一次向四周打量了一下，并立刻看到了我。我们一来到这里，我就从乔的背上下来，站在沟边上，一直没有移动过。当他看我时，我也热切地望着他，而且轻轻地向他挥挥手，又摇摇头。我一直盼望着他看我，那样我就可以设法向他保证这事和我无关。但他根本就没有对我表示他是否理解了我的意思。他投向我的一眼是我无法理解的，而且一闪而过。即使他曾看过我一小时，看过我一整天，也不会给我留下比这难以捉摸、专心会神的一瞥更深刻的印象。
提篮子的士兵很快便打着了火，点亮了三四支火炬，自己拿一支，其余的分给别的士兵举着。天早就黑了下来，而现在更加黑了，很快便完全黑了。四个士兵站成一个圆圈，向空中放了两枪。我们正准备离开沼泽地，这时在我们后面不远处也有几个火把亮了起来，在河对岸的沼泽地上又亮了几个火把。巡官这才发出命令：“一切结束，向前开步走！”
我们没有走多远，前面就响起三声炮，轰隆巨声几乎把我耳膜震穿。巡官对我认识的那个犯人说：“现在正等着你上船呢，他们都知道你回来了。不要再想挣扎，我的犯人，跟上。”
这两个罪犯被隔了开来，每人都由一队卫兵围着前进。我抓着乔的一只手，他的另一只手拿着一个火把。沃甫赛先生早就想回家了，而乔却非要看到结局不可，所以我们随着队伍走着。现在路很好走，我们大都沿着河前进，但是如果遇到有小型风车的堤坝或污泥满布的闸门，我们只有绕道而行。我四周张望了一下，看到背后也有火把跟着来了。我们手中的火把在路上落下一大摊一大摊的余烬。我还能看到它们在那里冒着烟，闪着火星。除此以外便是一片黑暗，什么也看不见。我们松脂火把的火光使四周的空气温暖起来。两个囚犯似乎也很喜欢暖和一下，一拐一拐地在滑膛枪的包围中走着。我们不可能走快，因为他们两个人步履蹒跚，而且十分疲乏。路上我们不得不停了两三次，好让他们休息。
这次我们走了一个多小时，才来到一个简陋的小木棚子跟前。这里是一个摆渡口。木棚中驻扎的一个卫队向我们盘问口令，巡官进行了答复。接着，我们走进了木棚，扑面而来一股浓烈的烟味和石灰水味。棚内生着明亮的炉火，还有一盏灯、一个放滑膛枪的架子。一面鼓，一张低低的木板通铺，活像一台没有机器零件的轧布机，并排可以睡十来个士兵。有三四个士兵正睡在床上，衣服也没有脱。他们对我们并不感兴趣，只是抬起头用惺忪的睡眼瞅了一下，便又自顾倒头睡去。巡官做了汇报，又在本子上做了些记录，然后便让卫兵押着我不认识的那一个犯人先上监狱船去。
我认识的那个囚犯除了那次看过我一眼外，再没有看过我。我们站在棚子中时，他在火炉前若有所思地看着火，有时又轮流地把脚搁在火炉旁的铁架子上，看着它们出神，仿佛对它们寄予了深深的同情，因为它们最近作了冒险的奔波。突然，他转身对巡官说道：
“我希望说明一下和这次逃跑有关的事，免得有人因我而受到连累和怀疑。”
“你要说什么你就说，”巡官答道，交叉着双臂站在那里，冷冷地望着他，“不过并没人要你在这里说。你要知道，在案件结清之前你有充分的机会说，也有充分的机会听别人说。”
“我当然知道，不过这是一件另外的事，和案件毫无关系。人是不能挨饿的，至少我是不能挨饿的。我拿了一些吃的东西，是从那边的村子里拿的，就是沼泽地过去，有一个教堂的村子。”
“你是说你偷了什么人家的东西吃。”巡官说道。
“我还要告诉你是从哪一家偷的，是从一个铁匠家中偷来的。”
“啊！”巡官惊了一下，对乔瞪着眼。
“啊，皮普！”乔也惊了一下，对我瞪着眼。
“我拿的都是一些剩下来的东西，残剩食物，另外拿了一些酒，还有一块馅饼。”
“铁匠师傅，你家有没有不见过一些东西，像馅饼一类的？”巡官对乔说道，语音表现出友好亲密的态度。
“就在你们来我家的时候，我老婆的确发现少了一块猪肉馅饼。皮普，你知道这事吗？”
“那么，”我认识的那个犯人说道，把带点忧郁的眼光转向乔，一眼也没有对我望，“那么您就是铁匠师傅了？偷吃了您的猪肉馅饼，我感到十分抱歉。”
“上天作证，你可以随意吃——只要是我的，不必客气。”乔回答说，及时地想到了他的夫人，“我们不知道你干了什么，但是我们不能看着你饿死，你这可怜不幸的同胞。皮普，是不是这样？”
我早就发现在这个人的喉管里好像有什么东西，咯嗒咯嗒地发响，现在又响了一声，他便转过身去了。一艘小渡船去而复返，卫队已经准备就绪。我们一直跟着他上了用大石头和粗木桩建造的渡口，目送他上了渡船，由几个和他一样的犯人划着而去。他们看到他上船没有表示出一丝惊讶，没有人对他感兴趣地瞥一眼，没有人感到高兴，没有人感到抱歉，也没有人开口，只听到一句怒吼从船上发出，仿佛是在对狗吆喝：“你们快划！”这是一声开桨启程的信号。在火把的光照下，我们看到漆黑一团的监狱船正停在离满布泥泞的岸边不远之处，好像是一艘邪恶的挪亚方舟。这艘监狱船被粗大生锈的铁链锁着。拦着，停泊在那里。在我幼小的心灵中，这船就好像是戴着镣铐的犯人。我们看到渡船向监狱船靠拢，看到他被押上大船，然后便消失了。接着，那些烧剩下的火把头儿全部被投进水里，发出咝咝的声响，熄灭了，仿佛一切都随他而去了。
Chapter 6
MY state of mind regarding the pilfering from which I had been so unexpectedly exonerated, did not impel me to frank disclosure; but I hope it had some dregs of good at the bottom of it. 
I do not recall that I felt any tenderness of conscience in reference to Mrs Joe, when the fear of being found out was lifted off me. But I loved Joe - perhaps for no better reason in those early days than because the dear fellow let me love him - and, as to him, my inner self was not so easily composed. It was much upon my mind (particularly when I first saw him looking about for his file) that I ought to tell Joe the whole truth. Yet I did not, and for the reason that I mistrusted that if I did, he would think me worse than I was. The fear of losing Joe's confidence, and of thenceforth sitting in the chimney-corner at night staring drearily at my for ever lost companion and friend, tied up my tongue. I morbidly represented to myself that if Joe knew it, I never afterwards could see him at the fireside feeling his fair whisker, without thinking that he was meditating on it. That, if Joe knew it, I never afterwards could see him glance, however casually, at yesterday's meat or pudding when it came on to-day's table, without thinking that he was debating whether I had been in the pantry. That, if Joe knew it, and at any subsequent period of our joint domestic life remarked that his beer was flat or thick, the conviction that he suspected Tar in it, would bring a rush of blood to my face. In a word, I was too cowardly to do what I knew to be right, as I had been too cowardly to avoid doing what I knew to be wrong. I had had no intercourse with the world at that time, and I imitated none of its many inhabitants who act in this manner. Quite an untaught genius, I made the discovery of the line of action for myself.
As I was sleepy before we were far away from the prison-ship, Joe took me on his back again and carried me home. He must have had a tiresome journey of it, for Mr Wopsle, being knocked up, was in such a very bad temper that if the Church had been thrown open, he would probably have excommunicated the whole expedition, beginning with Joe and myself. In his lay capacity, he persisted in sitting down in the damp to such an insane extent, that when his coat was taken off to be dried at the kitchen fire, the circumstantial evidence on his trousers would have hanged him if it had been a capital offence.
By that time, I was staggering on the kitchen floor like a little drunkard, through having been newly set upon my feet, and through having been fast asleep, and through waking in the heat and lights and noise of tongues. As I came to myself (with the aid of a heavy thump between the shoulders, and the restorative exclamation `Yah! Was there ever such a boy as this!' from my sister), I found Joe telling then about the convict's confession, and all the visitors suggesting different ways by which he had got into the pantry. Mr Pumblechook made out, after carefully surveying the premises, that he had first got upon the roof of the forge, and had then got upon the roof of the house, and had then let himself down the kitchen chimney by a rope made of his bedding cut into strips; and as Mr Pumblechook was very positive and drove his own chaise-cart - over everybody - it was agreed that it must be so. Mr Wopsle, indeed, wildly cried out `No!' with the feeble malice of a tried man; but, as he had no theory, and no coat on, he was unanimously set at nought - not to mention his smoking hard behind, as he stood with his back to the kitchen fire to draw the damp out: which was not calculated to inspire confidence.
This was all I heard that night before my sister clutched me, as a slumberous offence to the company's eyesight, and assisted me up to bed with such a strong hand that I seemed to have fifty boots on, and to be dangling them all against the edges of the stairs. My state of mind, as I have described it, began before I was up in the morning, and lasted long after the subject had died out, and had ceased to be mentioned saving on exceptional occasions.
 
我由于偷窃而形成的心态及精神负担在意想不到的情况下消除了。当然，我原来也并未想到一定要坦白承认，不管怎样我总以为，归根结底我的出发点还是有点儿善意的。
原来担心偷窃被发现的心态既已消除，我也不再去考虑良心上有什么对不起姐姐。然而，我喜欢乔。究竟为什么喜欢他，我说不出理由，也许当时人太小了，总之，我觉得他是个值得我爱的可爱的人。一想到他，我的内心便深感不安而局促。我心里一直有一个念头，特别是在乔第一次寻找他那把锉子时，我就想把事情的全部真相告诉他。但是，我没有对他和盘托出，因为我担心如果以实情相告，他就会把我想得很坏，而我却不至于如此。我所担心的是失去乔对我的信赖，从而使自己每晚孤独地坐在火炉边，干着急地瞅着我这位永远失去的同伴和朋友。所以，我决定闭口不言。我病态地以为，一旦乔知道了内情，以后只要他坐在炉火边用手抚摸着美丽的连鬓胡子，就会思索到这件事；以为一旦他知道了内情，无论在什么时候，只要发现昨天的菜肴和布丁放在今天的餐桌上，他就会在心中思考一阵，我是不是进过食品间；以为一旦他知道了内情，在我们以后的日子里，家庭生活必然蒙上一层阴影，他一饮啤酒就会考虑是浓是淡，是不是加进了柏油水，自然也就会把我的脸闹得个通红。总而言之，我因为胆子太小，而不敢做本来是对的事情，就像当初因为我胆子太小，而不敢不做本来是不对的事情。当时，我和整个外部的大千世界没有打过交道。社会中有各式各样按照自己行为处世的人，然而我也没有把谁当作认可的榜样。我完全是一个自学而成的天才，我的处世之道与行为准则都是我自己的创造发明。
我们离开监狱船还没有走多少路，我便感到十分困倦，于是乔又把我背在身上，一直把我背到家。一路上，乔确实是够累的了，这从沃甫赛先生的举动中可以看出来。沃甫赛先生因为过分疲劳而用发火来出气，其火气大得如果教堂已经实行开放政策由他掌握，他一定会把所有参加这次活动的人开除出教籍，而且先拿乔和我开刀。然而，他只不过是一个世俗之人，能量有限，所以只能坐在潮湿的沼泽地上，气也无用。等到了我们家时，他才把自己的外衣从身上脱下来，放在厨房的火炉上烤干。如果参加看热闹也能定死罪的话，那么从他湿了裤子这件事上推论而得到的间接证据准能把他送上绞刑架。
这时候，由于原来沉沉地睡在乔的背上，刚刚被放到地板上，在温暖的火光和嘈杂的人声中醒转过来，所以我就像一个小醉鬼一样，跌跌撞撞的，差点摔在地上。我正懵懵懂懂之时，幸亏我姐姐在我背后的两肩之间狠狠地揍了一拳，又夺命地大喝一声：“啊！世上哪里有你这种孩子！”这才清醒了头脑。一醒过来，我便发现乔正在绘声绘色地给他们讲罪犯的坦白交待，客人们都在猜测这个犯人究竟是怎样进入食品间偷猪肉馅饼的，各执一词。彭波契克先生详详细细地察看了一番屋子的内部，说这个犯人首先攀登上铁匠铺的屋顶，再爬到我们住屋的上面，然后将被单布条结成的绳子从厨房的烟囱里丢下来，顺绳而进。彭波契克先生说得十分肯定，何况他有自己的马车，总比别人高明一些，大家当然都附和他赞成他，认为犯人就是这样进来的。只有沃甫赛先生敢于提出不同意见，狂乱地叫着“不对！”他疲惫已极，言语中带着无力的怨恨，评说起来不能头头是道，缺乏理论，而且连件像样的大衣都没有，大家都不把他放在心中。何况他这时正背靠着火炉站在那里，烤着湿透的衣服，背后冒出蒸发出来的热气。大家一看他的这副样子，自然不会信任他。
那天晚上我听到的就是这些，接着我姐姐怕我这副睡眼惺松的样子有碍客人们的谈话，就走过来一把揪住了我，蛮横粗暴地拖我上楼睡觉。而我就像穿了五十双靴子似的迈不动沉重的脚步，在楼梯上一直晃晃悠悠、跌跌撞撞的。正如前面所叙述过的，我的心态是心有余悸。第二天早晨还没有起床，我就开始产生了这种顾虑，而且持续了好一段时期。一直等到大家把这件事忘记，除了在个别场合，也都不再谈论它，我的心才如释重负。
Chapter 7
AT the time when I stood in the churchyard, reading the family tombstones, I had just enough learning to be able to spell them out. My construction even of their simple meaning was not very correct, for I read `wife of the Above' as a complimentary reference to my father's exaltation to a better world; and if any one of my deceased relations had been referred to as `Below,' I have no doubt I should have formed the worst opinions of that member of the family. Neither, were my notions of the theological positions to which my Catechism bound me, at all accurate; for, I have a lively remembrance that I supposed my declaration that I was to `walk in the same all the days of my life,' laid me under an obligation always to go through the village from our house in one particular direction, and never to vary it by turning down by the wheelwright's or up by the mill. 
When I was old enough, I was to be apprenticed to Joe, and until I could assume that dignity I was not to be what Mrs Joe called `Pompeyed,' or (as I render it) pampered. Therefore, I was not only odd-boy about the forge, but if any neighbour happened to want an extra boy to frighten birds, or pick up stones, or do any such job, I was favoured with the employment. In order, however, that our superior position might not be compromised thereby, a money-box was kept on the kitchen mantel-shelf, in to which it was publicly made known that all my earnings were dropped. I have an impression that they were to be contributed eventually towards the liquidation of the National Debt, but I know I had no hope of any personal participation in the treasure.
Mr Wopsle's great-aunt kept an evening school in the village; that is to say, she was a ridiculous old woman of limited means and unlimited infirmity, who used to go to sleep from six to seven every evening, in the society of youth who paid twopence per week each, for the improving opportunity of seeing her do it. She rented a small cottage, and Mr Wopsle had the room up-stairs, where we students used to overhear him reading aloud in a most dignified and terrific manner, and occasionally bumping on the ceiling. There was a fiction that Mr Wopsle `examined' the scholars, once a quarter. What he did on those occasions was to turn up his cuffs, stick up his hair, and give us Mark Antony's oration over the body of Caesar. This was always followed by Collins's Ode on the Passions, wherein I particularly venerated Mr Wopsle as Revenge, throwing his blood-stained sword in thunder down, and taking the War-denouncing trumpet with a withering look. It was not with me then, as it was in later life, when I fell into the society of the Passions, and compared them with Collins and Wopsle, rather to the disadvantage of both gentlemen.
Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt, besides keeping this Educational Institution, kept - in the same room - a little general shop. She had no idea what stock she had, or what the price of anything in it was; but there was a little greasy memorandum-book kept in a drawer, which served as a Catalogue of Prices, and by this oracle Biddy arranged all the shop transaction. Biddy was Mr Wopsle's great-aunt's granddaughter; I confess myself quiet unequal to the working out of the problem, what relation she was to Mr Wopsle. She was an orphan like myself; like me, too, had been brought up by hand. She was most noticeable, I thought, in respect of her extremities; for, her hair always wanted brushing, her hands always wanted washing, and her shoes always wanted mending and pulling up at heel. This description must be received with a week-day limitation. On Sundays, she went to church elaborated.
Much of my unassisted self, and more by the help of Biddy than of Mr Wopsle's great-aunt, I struggled through the alphabet as if it had been a bramble-bush; getting considerably worried and scratched by every letter. After that, I fell among those thieves, the nine figures, who seemed every evening to do something new to disguise themselves and baffle recognition. But, at last I began, in a purblind groping way, to read, write, and cipher, on the very smallest scale.
One night, I was sitting in the chimney-corner with my slate, expending great efforts on the production of a letter to Joe. I think it must have been a fully year after our hunt upon the marshes, for it was a long time after, and it was winter and a hard frost. With an alphabet on the hearth at my feet for reference, I contrived in an hour or two to print and smear this epistle:
`MI DEER JO i OPE U R KR WITE WELL i OPE i SHAL SON B HABELL 4 2 TEEDGE U JO AN THEN WE SHORL B SO GLODD AN WEN i M PRENGTD 2 U JO WOT LARX AN BLEVE ME INF XN PIP.'
There was no indispensable necessity for my communicating with Joe by letter, inasmuch as he sat beside me and we were alone. But, I delivered this written communication (slate and all) with my own hand, and Joe received it as a miracle of erudition. 
`I say, Pip, old chap!' cried Joe, opening his blue eyes wide, `what a scholar you are! An't you?'
`I should like to be,' said I, glancing at the slate as he held it: with a misgiving that the writing was rather hilly.
`Why, here's a J,' said Joe, `and a O equal to anythink! Here's a J and a O, Pip, and a J-O, Joe.'
I had never heard Joe read aloud to any greater extent than this monosyllable, and I had observed at church last Sunday when I accidentally held our Prayer-Book upside down, that it seemed to suit his convenience quite as well as if it had been right. Wishing to embrace the present occasion of finding out whether in teaching Joe, I should have to begin quite at the beginning, I said, `Ah! But read the rest, Jo.'
`The rest, eh, Pip?' said Joe, looking at it with a slowly searching eye, `One, two, three. Why, here's three Js, and three Os, and three J-O, Joes in it, Pip!'
I leaned over Joe, and, with the aid of my forefinger, read him the whole letter.
`Astonishing!' said Joe, when I had finished. `You ARE a scholar.'
`How do you spell Gargery, Joe?' I asked him, with a modest patronage.
`I don't spell it at all,' said Joe.
`But supposing you did?'
`It can't be supposed,' said Joe. `Tho' I'm oncommon fond of reading, too.'
`Are you, Joe?'
`On-common. Give me,' said Joe, `a good book, or a good newspaper, and sit me down afore a good fire, and I ask no better. Lord!' he continued, after rubbing his knees a little, `when you do come to a J and a O, and says you, "Here, at last, is a J-O, Joe," how interesting reading is!'
I derived from this last, that Joe's education, like Steam, was yet in its infancy, Pursuing the subject, I inquired:
`Didn't you ever go to school, Joe, when you were as little as me?'
`No, Pip.'
`Why didn't you ever go to school, Joe, when you were as little as me?'
`Well, Pip,' said Joe, taking up the poker, and settling himself to his usual occupation when he was thoughtful, of slowly raking the fire between the lower bars: `I'll tell you. My father, Pip, he were given to drink, and when he were overtook with drink, he hammered away at my mother, most onmerciful. It were a'most the only hammering he did, indeed, 'xcepting at myself. And he hammered at me with a wigour only to be equalled by the wigour with which he didn't hammer at his anwil. - You're listening and understanding, Pip?'
`Yes, Joe.'
` 'Consequence, my mother and me we ran away from my father, several times; and then my mother she'd go out to work, and she'd say, "Joe," she'd say, "now, please God, you shall have some schooling, child," and she'd put me to school. But my father were that good in his hart that he couldn't abear to be without us. So, he'd come with a most tremenjous crowd and make such a row at the doors of the houses where we was, that they used to be obligated to have no more to do with us and to give us up to him. And then he took us home and hammered us. Which, you see, Pip,' said Joe, pausing in his meditative raking of the fire, and looking at me, `were a drawback on my learning.'
`Certainly, poor Joe!'
`Though mind you, Pip,' said Joe, with a judicial touch or two of the poker on the top bar, `rendering unto all their doo, and maintaining equal justice betwixt man and man, my father were that good in his hart, don't you see?'
I didn't see; but I didn't say so.
`Well!' Joe pursued, `somebody must keep the pot a biling, Pip, or the pot won't bile, don't you know?'
I saw that, and said so.
` 'Consequence, my father didn't make objections to my going to work; so I went to work to work at my present calling, which were his too, if he would have followed it, and I worked tolerable hard, I assure you, Pip. In time I were able to keep him, and I kept him till he went off in a purple leptic fit. And it were my intentions to have had put upon his tombstone that Whatsume'er the failings on his part, Remember reader he were that good in his hart.'
Joe recited this couplet with such manifest pride and careful perspicuity, that I asked him if he had made it himself.
`I made it,' said Joe, `my own self. I made it in a moment. It was like striking out a horseshoe complete, in a single blow. I never was so much surprised in all my life - couldn't credit my own ed - to tell you the truth, hardly believed it were my own ed. As I was saying, Pip, it were my intentions to have had it cut over him; but poetry costs money, cut it how you will, small or large, and it were not done. Not to mention bearers, all the money that could be spared were wanted for my mother. She were in poor elth, and quite broke. She weren't long of following, poor soul, and her share of peace come round at last.'
Joe's blue eyes turned a little watery; he rubbed, first one of them, and then the other, in a most uncongenial and uncomfortable manner, with the round knob on the top of the poker.
`It were but lonesome then,' said Joe, `living here alone, and I got acquainted with your sister. Now, Pip;' Joe looked firmly at me, as if he knew I was not going to agree with him; `your sister is a fine figure of a woman.'
I could not help looking at the fire, in an obvious state of doubt.
`Whatever family opinions, or whatever the world's opinions, on that subject may be, Pip, your sister is,' Joe tapped the top bar with the poker after every word following, `a - fine - figure - of - a - woman!'
I could think of nothing better to say than `I am glad you think so, Joe.'
`So am I,' returned Joe, catching me up. `I am glad I think so, Pip. A little redness or a little matter of Bone, here or there, what does it signify to Me?'
I sagaciously observed, if it didn't signify to him, to whom did it signify?
`Certainly!' assented Joe. `That's it. You're right, old chap!When I got acquainted with your sister, it were the talk how she was bringing you up by hand. Very kind of her too, all the folks said, and I said, along with all the folks. As to you,' Joe pursued with a countenance expressive of seeing something very nasty indeed: `if you could have been aware how small and flabby and mean you was, dear me, you'd have formed the most contemptible opinions of yourself!'
Not exactly relishing this, I said, `Never mind me, Joe.'
`But I did mind you, Pip,' he returned with tender simplicity. `When I offered to your sister to keep company, and to be asked in church at such times as she was willing and ready to come to the forge, I said to her, "And bring the poor little child. God bless the poor little child," I said to your sister, "there's room for him at the forge!"'
I broke out crying and begging pardon, and hugged Joe round the neck: who dropped the poker to hug me, and to say, `Ever the best of friends; an't us, Pip? Don't cry, old chap!'
When this little interruption was over, Joe resumed:
`Well, you see, Pip, and here we are! That's about where it lights; here we are! Now, when you take me in hand in my learning, Pip (and I tell you beforehand I am awful dull, most awful dull), Mrs Joe mustn't see too much of what we're up to. It must be done, as I may say, on the sly. And why on the sly? I'll tell you why, Pip.'
He had taken up the poker again; without which, I doubt if he could have proceeded in his demonstration.
`Your sister is given to government.'
`Given to government, Joe?' I was startled, for I had some shadowy idea (and I am afraid I must add, hope) that Joe had divorced her in a favour of the Lords of the Admiralty, or Treasury.
`Given to government,' said Joe. `Which I meantersay the government of you and myself.'
`Oh!'
`And she an't over partial to having scholars on the premises,' Joe continued, `and in partickler would not be over partial to my being a scholar, for fear as I might rise. Like a sort or rebel, don't you see?'
I was going to retort with an inquiry, and had got as far as `Why--' when Joe stopped me.
`Stay a bit. I know what you're a-going to say, Pip; stay a bit!I don't deny that your sister comes the Mo-gul over us, now and again. I don't deny that she do throw us back-falls, and that she do drop down upon us heavy. At such times as when your sister is on the Ram-page, Pip,' Joe sank his voice to a whisper and glanced at the door, `candour compels fur to admit that she is a Buster.'
Joe pronounced this word, as if it began with at least twelve capital Bs.
`Why don't I rise? That were your observation when I broke it off, Pip?'
`Yes, Joe.'
`Well,' said Joe, passing the poker into his left hand, that he might feel his whisker; and I had no hope of him whenever he took to that placid occupation; `your sister's a master-mind. A master-mind.'
`What's that?' I asked, in some hope of bringing him to a stand. But, Joe was readier with his definition than I had excepted, and completely stopped me by arguing circularly, and answering with a fixed look, `Her.'
`And I an't a master-mind,' Joe resumed, when he had unfixed his look, and got back to his whisker. `And last of all, Pip - and this I want to say very serous to you, old chap - I see so much in my poor mother, of a woman drudging and slaving and breaking her honest hart and never getting no peace in her mortal days, that I'm dead afeerd of going wrong in the way of not doing what's right by a woman, and I'd fur rather of the two go wrong the t'other way, and be a little ill-conwenienced myself. I wish it was only me that got put out, Pip; I wish there warn't no Tickler for you, old chap; I wish I could take it all on myself; but this is the up-and-down-and-straight on it, Pip, and I hope you'll overlook shortcomings.'
Young as I was, I believe that I dated a new admiration of Joe from that night. We were equals afterwards, as we had been before; but, afterwards at quiet times when I sat looking at Joe and thinking about him, I had a new sensation of feeling conscious that I was looking up to Joe in my heart.
`However,' said Joe, rising to replenish the fire; `here's the Dutch-clock a working himself up to being equal to strike Eight of 'em, and she's not come home yet! I hope Uncle Pumblechook's mare mayn't have set a fore-foot on a piece o'ice, and gone down.'
Mrs Joe made occasional trips with Uncle Pumblechook on market-days, to assist him in buying such household stuffs and goods as required a woman's judgment; Uncle Pumblechook being a bachelor and reposing no confidences in his domestic servant. This was market-day, and Mrs Joe was out on one of these expeditions.
Joe made the fire and swept the hearth, and then we went to the door to listen for the chaise-cart. It was a dry cold night, and the wind blew keenly, and the frost was white and hard. A man would die to-night of lying out on the marshes, I thought. And then I looked at the stars, and considered how awful if would be for a man to turn his face up to them as he froze to death, and see no help or pity in all the glittering multitude.
`Here comes the mare,' said Joe, `ringing like a peal of bells!'
The sound of her iron shoes upon the hard road was quite musical, as she came along at a much brisker trot than usual. We got a chair out, ready for Mrs Joe's alighting, and stirred up the fire that they might see a bright window, and took a final survey of the kitchen that nothing might be out of its place. When we had completed these preparations, they drove up, wrapped to the eyes. Mrs Joe was soon landed, and Uncle Pumblechook was soon down too, covering the mare with a cloth, and we were soon all in the kitchen, carrying so much cold air in with us that it seemed to drive all the heat out of the fire.
`Now,' said Mrs Joe, unwrapping herself with haste and excitement, and throwing her bonnet back on her shoulders where it hung by the strings: `if this boy an't grateful this night, he never will be!'
I looked as grateful as any boy possibly could, who was wholly uninformed why he ought to assume that expression.
`It's only to be hoped,' said my sister, `that he won't be Pomp-eyed. But I have my fears.'
`She an't in that line, Mum,' said Mr Pumblechook. `She knows better.'
She? I looked at Joe, making the motion with my lips and eyebrows, `She?' Joe looked at me, making the motion with his lips and eyebrows, `She?' My sister catching him in the act, he drew the back of his hand across his nose with his usual conciliatory air on such occasions, and looked at her.
`Well?' said my sister, in her snappish way. `What are you staring at? Is the house a-fire?'
` - Which some individual,' Joe politely hinted, `mentioned - she.'
`And she is a she, I suppose?' said my sister. `Unless you call Miss Havisham a he. And I doubt if even you'll go so far as that.'
`Miss Havisham, up town?' said Joe.
`Is there any Miss Havisham down town?' returned my sister.
`She wants this boy to go and play there. And of course he's going. And he had better play there,' said my sister, shaking her head at me as an encouragement to be extremely light and sportive, `or I'll work him.'
I had heard of Miss Havisham up town - everybody for miles round, had heard of Miss Havisham up town - as an immensely rich and grim lady who lived in a large and dismal house barricaded against robbers, and who led a life of seclusion.
`Well to be sure!' said Joe, astounded. `I wonder how she come to know Pip!'
`Noodle!' cried my sister. `Who said she knew him?'
` - Which some individual,' Joe again politely hinted, `mentioned that she wanted him to go and play there.'
`And couldn't she ask Uncle Pumblechook if he knew of a boy to go and play there? Isn't it just barely possible that Uncle Pumblechook may be a tenant of hers, and that he may sometimes - we won't say quarterly or half-yearly, for that would be requiring too much of you - but sometimes - go there to pay his rent? And couldn't she then ask Uncle Pumblechook if he knew of a boy to go and play there? And couldn't Uncle Pumblechook, being always considerate and thoughtful for us - though you may not think it, Joseph,' in a tone of the deepest reproach, as if he were the most callous of nephews, `then mention this boy, standing Prancing here' - which I solemnly declare I was not doing - `that I have for ever been a willing slave to?'
`Good again!' cried Uncle Pumblechook. `Well put! Prettily pointed! Good indeed! Now Joseph, you know the case.'
`No, Joseph,' said my sister, still in a reproachful manner, while Joe apologetically drew the back of his hand across and across his nose, `you do not yet - though you may not think it - know the case. You may consider that you do, but you do not, Joseph. For you do not know that Uncle Pumblechook, being sensible that for anything we can tell, this boy's fortune may be made by his going to Miss Havisham's, has offered to take him into town to-night in his own chaise-cart, and to keep him to-night, and to take him with his own hands to Miss Havisham's to-morrow morning. And Lor-a-mussy me!' cried my sister, casting off her bonnet in sudden desperation, `here I stand talking to mere Mooncalfs, with Uncle Pumblechook waiting, and the mare catching cold at the door, and the boy grimed with crock and dirt from the hair of his head to the sole of his foot!'
With that, she pounced upon me, like an eagle on a lamb, and my face was squeezed into wooden bowls in sinks, and my head was put under taps of water-butts, and I was soaped, and kneaded, and towelled, and thumped, and harrowed, and rasped, until I really was quite beside myself. (I may here remark that I suppose myself to be better acquainted than any living authority, with the ridgy effect of a wedding-ring, passing unsympathetically over the human countenance.)
When my ablutions were completed, I was put into clean linen of the stiffest character, like a young penitent into sackcloth, and was trussed up in my tightest and fearfullest suit. I was then delivered over to Mr Pumblechook, who formally received me as if he were the Sheriff, and who let off upon me the speech that I knew he had been dying to make all along: `Boy, be for ever grateful to all friends, but especially unto them which brought you up by hand!'
`Good-bye, Joe!'
`God bless you, Pip, old chap!'
I had never parted from his before, and what with my feelings and what with soap-suds, I could at first see no stars from the chaise-cart. But they twinkled out one by one, without throwing any light on the questions why on earth I was going to play at Miss Havisham's, and what on earth I was expected to play at.
 
我站在乡村教堂墓地读家人墓碑上的字时，只不过刚学会如何拼写出上面那几个字，甚至对这些字最简单的解释也是牵强附会的。如我读“及上述者之妻”这几个字时，我以为是对我父亲的一种恭维赞词，以为他生活在天国之中，把“上述”误解为上天。幸亏在我已故的亲人中，没有一个人的墓碑上有“下”这个字，否则的话，我一定把“下”和地狱连在一起，以为他下了地狱。宗教教义问答手册要求我掌握正确的神学知识，而我当时也不可能理解得正确。现在，那些往事仍然栩栩如生，比如书中有言，“坚守常道，始终如一”，我把它理解成为这样一种应尽的义务，每次离家进村，我总是走一条道，永不变化，既不走车匠门口的那条路，也不绕道从磨坊那儿走。
等我长到可以做学徒的年龄，乔便会收我当徒弟。在我获得那份尊敬之前，我绝不能成为我姐姐所说的“娇养烂了的”孩子。我对这个词的理解是“娇养坏了的”，所以我不仅仅是个守在打铁炉旁干杂活的小学徒，邻居们也会差我做些额外的事情，如到田里去赶鸟，去捡小石头，以及其他零活。当然，我们这个有着优越地位的家庭总不能没有体面，所以我姐姐在厨房的壁炉架上放了一个钱盒子，让所有的人都知道，我所赚来的钱全部都丢在了里面。我有个印象，这些钱最终是会被捐献给国家去还清国债的。至于我，我十分了解，是决没有可能去享有这份财富的。
沃甫赛先生的姑婆在村子里创办了一所夜校。她是一个非常可笑的老太婆，有着有限的财产和无限的病痛。每天晚上六至七点钟，她总是沉沉酣睡。学校里的少年学生每星期要付两便士，以得到那个机会去观赏她睡觉。她租了一所很小的房子，沃甫赛先生占据着楼上的房间。我们学生坐在楼下，总是听到他大声朗诵。那个得意非凡的严肃劲儿真是十分骇人的。一高兴起来，他还会在楼板上嗵嗵地敲个不停。有人说沃甫赛先生每一个季度要“检查”一次学生的成绩。在检查的期间，他会卷起自己衣服的袖口，竖起根根头发，然后装扮成莎士比亚剧本《裘里斯•凯撒》中的角色，马克•安东尼，并且朗诵起他在凯撒大帝遗体旁的那段演说词。安东尼的角色一完，他又会朗诵起诗人柯林斯的《激情颂》。在他那些得意的角色中，我特别对沃甫赛先生所扮演的复仇之神敬佩之至。那真是出神人化，他把手中那柄被鲜血玷污的利剑向大地一丢，立刻化成雷霆万钧的霹雳，他用他那令人畏缩的眼光向大地一扫，战火纷飞的号角立时吹响。当时我对这些都无体验，后来我个人的生活也卷进了情感世界，再把它拿来和柯林斯及沃甫赛两位先生的杰作一比，才感到他们不免有所逊色。
沃甫赛的姑婆除了创办这一所教育实体外，在同一间屋子中还开了一个小小的杂货铺。她根本就不知道这铺子里有些什么货，更不知道每一种货物的价格。不过，有一本油乎乎的买卖备忘录放在抽屉里，上面记载着各种货物品名及价格。毕蒂就把它捧为至宝，店铺的交易买卖全得依靠它。毕蒂是沃甫赛先生姑婆的一个远房孙女儿。话是这么说，其实我也搞不清其中头绪，不知道她与沃甫赛先生究竟有什么亲戚关系。我知道她和我一样是个孤儿，和我一样是由某人一手带大的。我想，她的寒酸必定很引人注目。她的头发总是乱蓬蓬的需要梳理，她的手总是脏兮兮的需要清洗，她的鞋子总是破破烂烂的需要修补，连鞋跟也丢了。当然，前面的叙述只限于她平常上班的时问，一到星期天，她却打扮得漂漂亮亮地去教堂。
在学习上，沃甫赛先生的姑婆对我一无帮助，倒是多亏了毕蒂，再加上我的自我帮助。在学字母的时候，我战战兢兢，好像走进了一片荆棘，每一个字母都令我苦恼，都抓扯着我的皮肉。字母刚学完我仿佛又撞进了贼窝，从一到九这九个数字，就像九个贼，似乎每一个晚上都要变换一个新花样，伪装自己，让我辨认不出。我犹如笨鸟，瞎摸着前进，终于慢慢地读啊，写啊，算啊，掌握了一点小门道。
一天晚上，我拿着石板坐在火炉边，费了天大的劲儿才写了一封信给乔。这离开我们去沼泽地看追捕逃犯的事大概已有整整一年了，总之已经过了一段很长的时间。这又是一个冬天，一个严霜季节。我把字母表放在脚边的炉罩上作为参考，花了一两个小时用石笔写啊抹啊，最后写成了下面这封信：
“我的青爱的乔，我西王你生体见康，我西王很块教你，乔，那四我民可杜高心，等我当了你的土弟，乔，杜心运，请辛任我。皮普。”
其实我根本没有任何必要非写信给乔不可，因为他就坐在我的身边，而且也只有我们两个人在一起，没有什么话不可以讲。但是，我还是亲手把这封用石笔写在石板上的信交给了乔。乔把石板拿在手上，真以为是一个大学问家所创造出的奇迹。
“我说，皮普，我的老弟！”乔惊呼着，把他的蓝眼睛睁得大大的，说道，“你可真是一个了不起的学者，是不是？”
“要是我真成了个大学者就好了。”我望着他端在手上的石板，看到上面写的字好像画的一座座小山丘一样，不禁疑惑地说道。
“嗳，这是个J，’乔说道，“这里是O，写得真棒！一个J和一个O，连在一起是J－O，不就是‘乔’吗？”
除了这个单音节的词外，我从来没有听到乔大声地读过其他的什么词。上个星期天，我在教堂里偶然地把祈祷书拿颠倒了，却发现他丝毫未感不便，似乎颠倒着才是正确的拿法。于是我抓紧这个时机，希望发现是否要从头开始教他认字，于是对他说：“噢，乔，读下去。”
“皮普，嗯，你要我读下去？”乔用他的眼睛慢慢地打量了一下皮普写的信，说道，“一，二，三，这里有三个J，还有三个O，三个J和O连起来，不就是三个乔吗，皮普，是吗？”
我把身子俯在乔的身上，用食指指点着，给他念了整封信。
“你真伟大！”我一读完，乔便称赞起来，“你是个伟大的学者了！”
“乔，你怎么拼你的‘葛奇里’？”我摆出几分降恩施惠的神气问道。
“我根本不要拼这个词。”乔答道。
“假使你想拼，你又怎么拼呢？”
“没有什么想不想，”乔说道，“不过，话说回来，我也很喜欢读书的。”
“你真喜欢读书吗，乔？”
“不是一般的喜欢，”乔答道，“你不妨给我一本好书，或者给我一张好报，在我座位的前面生上一炉好火，我会满足得其他什么都不要。天啦！”他擦了一会儿膝头，又继续说道：“你看，这里一个J，那里一个O，于是你说，‘瞧，J和O连在一起就是一个乔，’你看读书是多么有趣！”
从乔的话中我可以断定，乔受教育的程度和蒸气机差不多，还处于幼稚的萌芽状态。我于是抓紧机会趁热打铁地问道：
“乔，你像我这般小时，上过学没有？”
“没有，皮普。”
“乔，你像我这么小时，为什么不上学呢？”
“是这样的，皮普。”乔说道。这时，他像平时一样又陷入了沉思，慢吞吞地拿起火钳，拨弄着炉条之间的火。“我现在告诉你，皮普。我爸爸一天到晚喝酒，一旦喝醉了，就无情地用拳头捶我的妈妈。我也是他经常捶打的铁砧子。除我外，就是我的妈妈，他几乎从不捶打别的。他总是用打铁时的力气来打我，根本不用这力气去打铁。皮普，你是不是在听我讲，你懂不懂？”
“乔，我在听着，我懂。”
“后来是这样的，我的妈妈和我两个人从爸爸那里逃走了好几次。我们住在外面，妈妈出去当帮工。她总是对我说，‘乔，’她就这样对我说，‘但愿上帝保佑，你得去上学识字，孩子。’于是她把我送到学校去。可是，爸爸又是那么好心，没有我们就活不下去。于是他纠集了一大帮子人，来到我们住的那家门口，吵吵闹闹，弄得人家没有办法，也再不能让我们呆下去，便把我们交给了他。他把我们带回家去后，又开始捶打我们。皮普，你看，”乔说到这里，停下了他漫不经意的拨火动作，望着我说，“我就是这样又失去了上学的机会。”
“的确如此，我可怜的乔！”
“皮普，话是如此，我有我的看法，”乔一面说着，一面用火钳拨了两下炉子上层的炉条，似乎公正地评论道，“看人要看全面，评人要一视同仁，我看我爸爸心中有他善良的一面，你说对吗？”
我看不出他有什么善良的一面，但是我没有把心里想的说出口。
“事情总是如此！”乔接着说下去，“总要有人让锅子里冒热气，让大家有饭吃，皮普，否则，锅子连热气也没有。你懂我说的吗？”
我看得出这点是对的，也就告诉了他。
“再后来，我爸爸也不再反对我出去干活，于是我便开始干我现在干的行当。当然，这也是他干的行当，如果他愿意干就好了。不过我倒是很努力地干活，皮普，我的确是这样。一段时间后，我就能够养活他了，我一直把他养到患麻风病死去。我有个想法，想在他的墓碑上刻几个字：无论他身上有什么缺点，他心中自有善良的一面。”
乔得意非凡地朗诵着这两行诗，而且读得很清楚。我不禁问他这两行诗是不是他自己作的。
乔说道：“我写的，是我自己写的。我一下子便写了出来，就好像打出一块马蹄铁一样，只要一锤就成。在我一生中从来没有像写这诗句时一样惊讶过，我不能相信我的脑袋瓜子。对你讲大实话吧，我真不敢相信这是从我脑袋中冒出来的。皮普，刚才我说我有个想法，把这两行诗句刻在他的墓碑上面。可是要把诗刻在墓碑上，无论你怎么刻，刻大还是刻小，都是需要花钱的，所以最终还是没有刻成功。除掉付出丧时抬棺木人的钱外，所有能够节省下来的钱全部都留给我妈妈了。她的身体衰弱，而且整个心都碎了。她也没有活多久，这可怜的灵魂旋即也随着父亲分享极乐世界的平静生活去了。”
一些小小的泪珠从乔的蓝眼睛中涌了出来。他用火钳柄上的圆把手先擦擦左眼，又擦擦右眼，看上去极不愉快，极为难受。
“我一个人留下来，很寂寞，”乔说道，“孤独地住在这里，以后我就和你姐姐相识了。嗳，皮普，”乔一面说着，一面盯住我望，好像早就猜到我是不会赞成他所说的话的，“你姐姐是一个长得十分漂亮的女人。”
十分坦然地说，我对这点抱怀疑态度，所以不得不盯住火炉，一声不发。
“对于这一点，无论我们家中怎么议论，也无论邻居街坊如何议论，皮普，你姐姐确实是——”乔说到这里，便开始每说一词就用火钳敲一下上面的炉条，“一个——十分漂亮的——女人！”
“乔，你这样想我真高兴。”说实话，我只能这样回答，因为想不出更恰当的表达。
“我也是，”乔立刻接着我的话说，“我这样想自己也高兴呢。说她这里有一点儿红，那里骨头大一些，其实，这些对我说来都没有意义，是吗？”
我便机灵地对他说，如果这对他没有意义，那么还对谁有意义呢？
“倒也是，”乔同意地说道，“确实如此。你的话太正确了，我的老弟！我记得刚开始和你姐姐认识的时候，就听到人们在谈论她是如何如何把你一手带大的。大家都称赞她是一个心地多么善良的人，我自然也和大家说的一样，认定她有多么善良。再说到你，”乔说到这里，装出一副似乎看到什么令人作呕的东西时的表情，说道，“那时你长得那么一点儿小，又软弱无力，又非常难看，天啦，你要是自己看到自己的模样，你也会瞧不起你自己的。”
对他这些话我不敢恭维，只是说：“乔，不必总想着我的事。”
“皮普，我怎能不想着你呢。”他继续说道，言语中含着纯朴和温情，“在我正式向你姐姐提出要成为终身伴侣时，我就邀她一起到教堂去举行仪式，她也就同意嫁到了我这个铁匠铺。我当时对她说：‘带上这个可怜的孩子吧，上帝会赐福给这个可怜的孩子的！’我又对你姐姐说：‘铁匠铺子并不多他一个人！’”
听到这里，我不禁放声大哭，再三请他原谅我，用双手抱着他的脖子。乔这时也把火钳丢在一旁，紧紧地抱住我，说：“永远是最好的朋友，皮普，你说是不是？不要哭了，我的老弟。”
乔的话被打断了一会儿，然后又开始接下去说道：
“事情就是这样，你看，皮普，我们俩就在一起了！这总算是幸运的，我们俩就在一起了。现在，你就要手把手地教我学习，皮普，不过话要说在前面，我很笨，而且是非常非常的笨，再说，教我认字这种事可不能让乔夫人发现。所以，我说我们要秘密地干。为什么我们要秘密地学呢？皮普，我来告诉你这其中的原因。”
他又把火钳拿起来。我真怀疑，要是他不拿起火钳，恐怕也不能说明他的理由了。
“你姐姐喜欢官。”
“什么，乔，喜欢官？”我吃惊不小。这句话使我模模糊糊地有一种想法，其实，我也希望这种想法实现，那就是乔要和她离婚了，因为她喜欢上了海军大臣或者财政大臣。
“她喜欢官，’乔说道，“我的意思是说她喜欢官你和我两个人。”
“噢！是这么回事！”我这才弄清他说的是管人。
“你姐姐最不喜欢的是家里有一个有学问的人，”乔接下去说，“特别不喜欢我成为一个有学问的人，因为她怕我比她有本领，有本领就要造反。你懂这意思吗？”
我正打算提出一个问题对他进行反驳，但刚说出了一个“为什么”，话头就被他打断了。
“不要急，我知道你正准备说什么，皮普，你待会儿再说。我不否认，你姐姐总是像一个蒙古暴君骑在我们头上作威作福。我也不否认，她不仅要把我们打个背朝地，而且还要再狠狠地踩我们几脚。要是在你姐姐暴跳如雷的时候，皮普，”乔这时压低了声音低语起来，并且偷视了一下门，“讲句公平话，我不得不承认她是一个怪物。”
乔在说到“怪物”时，从他的神情来看，仿佛这怪物长了十二个头。
“皮普，刚才我打断了你说的话。你想问为什么我不起来造反，是吗？”
“是的，乔。”
“要知道，”乔说着，把火钳换到左手上，这样他便可以用右手摸他的胡子了。我知道，一巳他做出这种平静的姿态，就不必对他再抱什么希望了。“‘你姐姐可是个大智之人啊。大智之人。”
“什么是大智之人？”我问道，希望这个问题能将他一军。但出乎意料之外，我根本没有想到他早已胸有成竹。他用凝神的目光注视着我，说道：“大智之人就是她呗。”他兜了一个圈子，把我说得无以答对。
“我不是大智之人。”乔又说道。这时，他已收回目光，又去摸胡子了。“最后还有一点不得不说，皮普，而且我得很严肃认真地对你说，我的老弟。从我不幸的妈妈那里，我悟出些道理。她是个受苦受难、做牛做马、肠断心碎的诚实人，可是在有生之年没有过过一天平静安稳的日子。所以，我就最怕把好心当坏意而亏待了女人，要亏待就亏待我，而不亏待她，宁愿自己吃亏麻烦。皮普，我希望一切错儿由我来承担，老弟，我希望那粗粗的呵痒棍不落在你的身上，希望棍子都打在我身上。事情就是这样曲曲直直的，皮普，有时不是我的力量所能及的，不免有缺点，你得原谅我。”
虽然当时我尚年幼，却相信自那夜开始，我对乔又添加了一分敬慕之情。我们自此以后，仍与从前一样，情如手足，平等共处。但是，每逢平静的时刻，当我坐在那儿，看着乔，想着乔时，会陡生一种新的情怀，内心中对他敬仰不已。
“可是，”乔说着，站起来添了些燃料，“这台荷兰自鸣钟已经做好准备，就要敲响八点了，而她还没有回来！但愿彭波契克舅舅的那匹母马没有把脚踩在冰块上，也没有摔倒在地上。”
乔夫人有时候要陪着彭波契克舅舅去赶集，帮助他购买日常家居所需要的东西，如吃的和用的。买这类东西总该听听女人的意见，而彭波契克舅舅是个单身汉，对家中的佣人又不敢相信。今天就是赶集的日子，乔夫人便去帮他忙了。
乔把火生好，又把火炉清扫干净，然后我们走到门口，听听路上是否有马车的声音。这是一个严寒之夜，风刺骨地迎面吹来，整个大地铺上了一层白霜，冻得结结实实。我不禁想到，今晚要是有人睡在沼泽地上，肯定是要冻死的。我举首仰望，一片星空，不禁又想起，一个人在被冻得快要死时仰望灿烂的群星，却从中得不到任何帮助、任何怜悯，那有多么可怕。
“有马来了！”乔这时说道，“这声音多像铃声啊！”
马儿的铁蹄声在坚硬的地上得得得地如乐曲一样有节奏。这匹母马今天显得比以往更加轻快，一路小跑而来。我们从屋里搬出一张椅子，好让乔夫人踩着从马车上下来。我们又把炉火拨得旺旺的，使马车上的人一眼便会看到明亮的窗户。我们对厨房做了最后一次检查，看看一切东西是不是都放得整齐。我们刚做完各项准备工作，马车也到了门口。乔夫人全身裹得紧紧的，只有眼睛露在外面。她下车后，彭波契克舅舅也跟着下了车，并且一下车便在马身上盖了一块遮寒布。然后，我们一起进了厨房，一股冷空气也随着我们给带了进去，似乎一下子就把炉火中的热气赶跑了。
“听我说。”乔夫人匆匆忙忙而又兴致勃勃地解开外衣，把头上的帽子向后面一推，挂在肩后，帽子上的带子扎在颈前。她说：“这孩子今晚如果还不感谢别人，今生今世也不会再感谢别人了。”
我尽力表现出一副感恩的样子，其实在心里，我根本就不知道为什么要做出这种感恩的表情。
“我只不过是希望，”我姐姐说道，“他不要给宠坏了。总之，我心中有些担心。”
“她不是那号人，夫人，”彭波契克先生说道，“她见多识广呢。”
“她”是指谁？我望着乔，撅撅嘴唇，抬抬眉毛，意思是“她是谁？”而乔也望着我挤眉撅嘴，仿佛也在说“她是谁呢？”可是他的这个动作被姐姐看到了，于是他采取了平常一贯的那种免得惹是生非的态度，抬起手背擦擦鼻子，两眼望着她。
“你在干啥？”我姐姐暴躁地说道，“睁着大眼看什么？难道家里失火了不成？”
“某个人，”乔十分谦恭地暗示说，“刚才提到什么她——”
“我告诉你，她就是她，”我姐姐说道，“你总不会把郝维仙小姐称为他吧。我看就是你也不至于傻到这种地步吧。”
“是住在镇上的郝维仙小姐吗？”乔问道。
“还有哪一位郝维仙小姐住在镇下？”我姐姐回敬道，“她要这个孩子到她那儿去玩。他自然是要去的，而且最好是去那儿玩。”我姐姐说着，对我晃动着头，好像在鼓励我要表现出特别的轻松活泼、爱闹爱玩。“否则的话，我会给你好看的。”
我早就听说过镇上的郝维仙小姐，几乎周围几英里一带的每一个人都听说过镇上的郝维仙小姐，说她家产无限，但生性冷酷无情。她住在一所既大又阴森的房子里，整所住宅保护严密，防范盗贼，而她自己过着一种隐居的生活。
“真有这口事！”乔大吃一惊，说道，“我真不知道她怎么晓得皮普的！”
“你这个傻家伙！”我姐姐叫道，“谁说她晓得皮普的？”
“某个人，”乔又一次谦恭地暗示说，“刚才提到的，说她要他去她那儿玩。”
“难道她不会问彭波契克舅舅是不是能帮她找一个孩子去她那儿玩？难道彭波契克舅舅就不可能是她的房客，难道他就不可能有时，比如一个季度一次，或者半年一次，到她那儿去付房屋租金？对你多说这些也是多余的。彭波契克舅舅到她那儿去，难道她就不会问问他，能不能帮她找一个孩子去玩玩？难道彭波契克舅舅不总是在体贴我们想到我们吗？当然你是不会想到这些的，约瑟夫。”我姐姐用沉重的责备口吻说着（并且用了约瑟夫这个正式名字），好像他是一个最冷酷无情的外甥， “那么，他难道不会提到这个孩子吗？可这个孩子却耀武扬威地站在这里。”其实我可以郑重声明，我一点儿也不耀武扬威。“这个孩子，我一辈子都得心甘情愿地做他的奴隶。”
“说得好极了！”彭波契克舅舅大声说道，“真棒！观点明确！确实有道理！约瑟夫，现在你总该明白了吧。”
“不，约瑟夫，”我姐姐依旧用那一种责备的口吻说道，而乔则怀着歉意似的举起手擦了擦他的鼻子，“你不会明白的，你根本想不到其中的道理。也许你认为你明白了，然而你却不明白，约瑟夫。因为你不了解，这是彭波契克舅舅，他对我们一番好意。这孩子的远大前程就全靠他把他送到郝维仙小姐家去了，他答应今天晚上就用他的马车把这孩子先带到镇上，住在他家中，明天早晨他就会亲手把这孩子送到郝维仙小姐家中去。但愿我主保佑！”我姐姐高声喊着，突然用力一拉，把帽子拉掉了下来。“我只顾站着和两个傻瓜讲话，倒忘了彭波契克舅舅正等着呢，那匹马站在门外也会感冒的，而这孩子，从头发直到脚底板全都是泥啊、灰啊！”
她说完便向着我冲过来，那副架势就像老鹰扑向小羊羔一样，一把揪住我的头就把我的脸按进了放在水槽中的木盆里。我的头正好在大水桶的龙头下面，接着便给满头满脸地涂上了肥皂，揉啊，搓啊，擦啊，拍啊，搔啊，刮啊，一直挨到我几乎要发疯。我不妨在这里说明一下，我看当今的任何一位权威也没有我更了解这件事了，即用一只结婚戒指无情地在一张人的面孔上来来回回地擦，那会给面孔带来什么样的后果，会擦出多少条隆起的痕迹。
我的这一次“洗礼”完成后，便给穿上了一件干净的亚麻布衣服。衣服硬挺得真难受，就好像少年犯穿的麻袋服装一样。接着，我身上又被捆绑上一件外衣，紧得不得了，难受极了。一切完毕，我姐姐把我移交给彭波契克先生，他产然如一位行政司法长官般地正式接收了我，然后对我作了他早有准备的讲演，最后说：“孩子，永远要对所有的朋友感恩，特别是要对一手把你带大的人们感恩！”
“乔，再见了！”
“皮普，老弟，愿上帝保佑你！”
在这以前我从来没有和乔分过手，所以心中有一种特殊的感情，再加上眼睛上还留着刚才的肥皂水，一时在马车上竟看不到天上的繁星了。然后，这些星星在天空中一个接一个地闪烁出现，却并不能解答我心中的难题：究竟我为什么要到郝维仙小姐家中去玩？究竟她要我到她家中玩什么？
Chapter 8
MR PUMBLECHOOK'S premises in the High-street of the market town, were of a peppercorny and farinaceous character, as the premises of a corn-chandler and seedsman should be. It appeared to me that he must be a very happy man indeed, to have so many little drawers in his shop; and I wondered when I peeped into one or two on the lower tiers, and saw the tied-up brown paper packets inside, whether the flower-seeds and bulbs ever wanted of a fine day to break out of those jails, and bloom. 
It was in the early morning after my arrival that I entertained this speculation. On the previous night, I had been sent straight to bed in an attic with a sloping roof, which was so low in the corner where the bedstead was, that I calculated the tiles as being within a foot of my eyebrows. In the same early morning, I discovered a singular affinity between seeds and corduroys. Mr Pumblechook wore corduroys, and so did his shopman; and somehow, there was a general air and flavour about the corduroys, so much in the nature of seeds, and a general air and flavour about the seeds, so much in the nature of corduroys, that I hardly knew which was which. The same opportunity served me for noticing that Mr Pumblechook appeared to conduct his business by looking across the street at the saddler, who appeared to transact his business by keeping his eye on the coach-maker, who appeared to get on in life by putting his hands in his pockets and contemplating the baker, who in his turn folded his arms and stared at the grocer, who stood at his door and yawned at the chemist. The watch-maker, always poring over a little desk with a magnifying glass at his eye, and always inspected by a group of smock-frocks poring over him through the glass of his shop-window, seemed to be about the only person in the High-street whose trade engaged his attention.
Mr Pumblechook and I breakfasted at eight o'clock in the parlour behind the shop, while the shopman took his mug of tea and hunch of bread-and-butter on a sack of peas in the front premises. I considered Mr Pumblechook wretched company. Besides being possessed by my sister's idea that a mortifying and penitential character ought to be imparted to my diet - besides giving me as much crumb as possible in combination with as little butter, and putting such a quantity of warm water into my milk that it would have been more candid to have left the milk out altogether - his conversation consisted of nothing but arithmetic. On my politely bidding him Good morning, he said, pompously, `Seven times nine, boy?' And how should I be able to answer, dodged in that way, in a strange place, on an empty stomach! I was hungry, but before I had swallowed a morsel, he began a running sum that lasted all through the breakfast. `Seven?' `And four?' `And eight?' `And six?' `And two?' `And ten?' And so on. And after each figure was disposed of, it was as much as I could do to get a bite or a sup, before the next came; while he sat at his ease guessing nothing, and eating bacon and hot roll, in (if I may be allowed the expression) a gorging and gormandising manner.
For such reasons I was very glad when ten o'clock came and we started for Miss Havisham's; though I was not at all at my ease regarding the manner in which I should acquit myself under that lady's roof. Within a quarter of an hour we came to Miss Havisham's house, which was of old brick, and dismal, and had a great many iron bars to it. Some of the windows had been walled up; of those that remained, all the lower were rustily barred. There was a court-yard in front, and that was barred; so, we had to wait, after ringing the bell, until some one should come to open it. While we waited at the gate, I peeped in (even then Mr Pumblechook said, `And fourteen?' but I pretended not to hear him), and saw that at the side of house there was a large brewery. No brewing was going on in it, and none seemed to have gone on for a long long time.
A window was raised, and a clear voice demanded `What name?' To which my conductor replied, `Pumblechook.' The voice returned, `Quite right,' and the window was shut again, and a young lady came across the court-yard, with keys in her hand.
`This,' said Mr Pumblechook, `is Pip.'
`This is Pip, is it?' returned the young lady, who was very pretty and seemed very proud; `come in, Pip.'
Mr Pumblechook was coming in also, when she stopped him with the gate.
`Oh!' she said. `Did you wish to see Miss Havisham?'
`If Miss Havisham wished to see me,' returned Mr Pumblechook, discomfited.
`Ah!' said the girl; `but you see she don't.'
She said it so finally, and in such an undiscussible way, that Mr Pumblechook, though in a condition of ruffled dignity, could not protest. But he eyed me severely - as if I had done anything to him! - and departed with the words reproachfully delivered: `Boy! Let your behaviour here be a credit unto them which brought you up by hand!' I was not free from apprehension that he would come back to propound through the gate, `And sixteen?' But he didn't.
My young conductress locked the gate, and we went across the court-yard. It was paved and clean, but grass was growing in every crevice. The brewery buildings had a little lane of communication with it, and the wooden gates of that lane stood open, and all the brewery beyond, stood open, away to the high enclosing wall; and all was empty and disused. The cold wind seemed to blow colder there, than outside the gate; and it made a shrill noise in howling in and out at the open sides of the brewery, like the noise of wind in the rigging of a ship at sea.
She saw me looking at it, and she said, `You could drink without hurt all the strong beer that's brewed there now, boy.'
`I should think I could, miss' said I, in a shy way.
`Better not try to brew beer there now, or it would turn out sour, boy; don't you think so?'
`It looks like it, miss.'
`Not that anybody means to try,' she added, `for that's all done with, and the place will stand as idle as it is, till it falls. As to strong beer, there's enough of it in the cellars already, to drown the Manor House.'
`Is that the name of this house, miss?'
`One of its names, boy.'
`It has more than one, then, miss?'
`One more. Its other name was Satis; which is Greek, or Latin, or Hebrew, or all three - or all one to me - for enough.'
`Enough House,' said I; `that's a curious name, miss.'
`Yes,' she replied; `but it meant more than it said. It meant, when it was given, that whoever had this house, could want nothing else. They must have been easily satisfied in those days, I should think. But don't loiter, boy.'
Though she called me `boy' so often, and with a carelessness that was far from complimentary, she was of about my own age. She seemed much older than I, of course, being a girl, and beautiful and self-possessed; and she was an scornful of me as if she had been one-and-twenty, and a queen.
We went into the house by a side door - the great front entrance had two chains across it outside - and the first thing I noticed was, that the passages were all dark, and that she had left a candle burning there. She took it up, and we went through more passages and up a staircase, and still it was all dark, and only the candle lighted us.
At last we came to the door of a room, and she said, `Go in.'
I answered, more in shyness than politeness, `After you, miss.'
To this, she returned: `Don't be ridiculous, boy; I am not going in.' And scornfully walked away, and - what was worse - took the candle with her.
This was very uncomfortable, and I was half afraid. However, the only thing to be done being to knock at the door, I knocked, and was told from within to enter. I entered, therefore, and found myself in a pretty large room, well lighted with wax candles. No glimpse of daylight was to be seen in it. It was a dressing-room, as I supposed from the furniture, though much of it was of forms and uses then quite unknown to me. But prominent in it was a draped table with a gilded looking-glass, and that I made out at first sight to be a fine lady's dressing-table.
Whether I should have made out this object so soon, if there had been no fine lady sitting at it, I cannot say. In an arm-chair, with an elbow resting on the table and her head leaning on that hand, sat the strangest lady I have ever seen, or shall ever see.
She was dressed in rich materials - satins, and lace, and silks - all of white. Her shoes were white. And she had a long while veil dependent from her hair, and she had bridal flowers in her hair, but her hair was white. Some bright jewels sparkled on her neck and on her hands, and some other jewels lay sparkling on the table. Dresses, less splendid than the dress she wore, and half-packed trunks, were scattered about. She had not quite finished dressing, for she had but one shoe on - the other was on the table near her hand - her veil was but half arranged, her watch and chain were not put on, and some lace for her bosom lay with those trinkets, and with her handkerchief, and gloves, and some flowers, and a prayer-book, all confusedly heaped about the looking-glass.
It was not in the first few moments the I saw all these things, though I saw more of them in the first moments than might be supposed. But, I saw that everything within my view which ought to be white, had been white long ago, and had lost its lustre, and was faded and yellow. I saw that the bride within the bridal dress had withered like the dress, and like the flowers, and had no brightness left but the brightness of her sunken eyes. I saw that the dress had been put upon the rounded figure of a young woman, and that the figure upon which it now hung loose, had shrunk to skin and bone. Once, I had been taken to see some ghastly waxwork at the Fair, representing I know not what impossible personage lying in state. Once, I had been taken to one of our old marsh churches to see a skeleton in the ashes of a rich dress, that had been dug out of a vault under the church pavement. Now, waxwork and skeleton seemed to have dark eyes that moved and looked at me. I should have cried out, if I could.
`Who is it?' said the lady at the table.
`Pip, ma'am.'
`Pip?'
`Mr Pumblechook's boy, ma'am. Come - to play.'
`Come nearer; let me look at you. Come close.'
It was when I stood before her, avoiding her eyes, that I took note of the surrounding objects in detail, and saw that her watch had stopped at twenty minutes to nine, and that a clock in the room had stopped at twenty minutes to nine.
`Look at me,' said Miss Havisham. `You are not afraid of a woman who has never seen the sun since you were born?'
I regard to state that I was not afraid of telling the enormous lie comprehended in the answer `No.'
`Do you know what I touch here?' she said, laying her hands, one upon the other, on her left side.
`Yes, ma'am.' (It made me think of the young man.)
`What do I touch?'
`Your heart.'
`Broken!'
She uttered the word with an eager look, and with strong emphasis, and with a weird smile that had a kind of boast in it. Afterwards, she kept her hands there for a little while, and slowly took them away as if they were heavy.
`I am tired,' said Miss Havisham. `I want diversion, and I have done with men and women. Play.'
I think it will be conceded by my most disputatious reader, that she could hardly have directed an unfortunate boy to do anything in the wide world more difficult to be done under the circumstances.
`I sometimes have sick fancies,' she went on, `and I have a sick fancy that I want to see some play. There there!' with an impatient movement of the fingers of her right hand; `play, play, play!'
For a moment, with the fear of my sister's working me before my eyes, I had a desperate idea of starting round the room in the assumed character of Mr Pumblechook's chaise-cart. But, I felt myself so unequal to the performance that I gave it up, and stood looking at Miss Havisham in what I suppose she took for a dogged manner, inasmuch as she said, when we had taken a good look at each other:
`Are you sullen and obstinate?'
`No, ma'am, I am very sorry for you, and very sorry I can't play just now. If you complain of me I shall get into trouble with my sister, so I would do it if I could; but it's so new here, and so strange, and so fine - and melancholy--' I stopped, fearing I might say too much, or had already said it, and we took another look at each other.
Before she spoke again, she turned her eyes from me, and looked at the dress she wore, and at the dressing-table, and finally at herself in the looking-glass.
`So new to him,' she muttered, `so old to me; so strange to him, so familiar to me; so melancholy to both of us! Call Estella.'
As she was still looking at the reflection of herself, I thought she was still talking to herself, and kept quiet.
`Call Estella,' she repeated, flashing a look at me. `You can do that. Call Estella. At the door.'
To stand in the dark in a mysterious passage of an unknown house, bawling Estella to a scornful young lady neither visible nor responsive, and feeling it a dreadful liberty so to roar out her name, was almost as bad as playing to order. But, she answered at last, and her light came along the dark passage like a star.
Miss Havisham beckoned her to come close, and took up a jewel from the table, and tried its effect upon her fair young bosom and against her pretty brown hair. `Your own, one day, my dear, and you will use it well. Let me see you play cards with this boy.'
`With this boy? Why, he is a common labouring-boy!'
I thought I overheard Miss Havisham answer - only it seemed so unlikely - `Well? You can break his heart.'
`What do you play, boy?' asked Estella of myself, with the greatest disdain.
`Nothing but beggar my neighbour, miss.'
`Beggar him,' said Miss Havisham to Estella. So we sat down to cards.
It was then I began to understand that everything in the room had stopped, like the watch and the clock, a long time ago. I noticed that Miss Havisham put down the jewel exactly on the spot form which she had taken it up. As Estella dealt the cards, I glanced at the dressing-table again, and saw that the shoe upon it, once white, now yellow, had never been worn. I glanced down at the foot from which the shoe was absent, and saw that the silk stocking on it, once white, now yellow, had been trodden ragged. Without this arrest of everything, this standing still of all the pale decayed objects, not even the withered bridal dress on the collapsed from could have looked so like grave-clothes, or the long veil so like a shroud.
So she sat, corpse-like, as we played at cards; the frillings and trimmings on her bridal dress, looking like earthy paper. I knew nothing then, of the discoveries that are occasionally made of bodies buried in ancient times, which fall to powder in the moment of being distinctly seen; but, I have often thought since, that she must have looked as if the admission of the natural light of day would have struck her to dust.
`He calls the knaves, Jacks, this boy!' said Estella with disdain, before our first game was out. `And what coarse hands he has!And what thick boots!'
I had never thought of being ashamed of my hands before; but I began to consider them a very indifferent pair. Her contempt for me was so strong, that it became infectious, and I caught it.
She won the game, and I dealt. I misdealt, as was only natural, when I knew she was lying in wait for me to do wrong; and she denounced me for a stupid, clumsy labouring-boy.
`You say nothing of her,' remarked Miss Havisham to me, as she looked on. `She says many hard things of you, but you say nothing of her. What do you think of her?'
`I don't like to say,' I stammered.
`Tell me in my ear,' said Miss Havisham, bending down.
`I think she is very proud,' I replied, in a whisper.
`Anything else?'
`I think she is very pretty.'
`Anything else?'
`I think she is very insulting.' (She was looking at me then with a look of supreme aversion.)
`Anything else?'
`I think I should like to go home.'
`And never see her again, though she is so pretty?'
`I am not sure that I shouldn't like to see her again, but I should like to go home now.'
`You shall go soon,' said Miss Havisham, aloud. `Play the game out.'
Saving for the one weird smile at first, I should have felt almost sure that Miss Havisham's face could not smile. It had dropped into a watchful and brooding expression - most likely when all the things about her had become transfixed - and it looked as if nothing could ever lift it up again. Her chest had dropped, so that she stooped; and her voice had dropped, so that she spoke low, and with a dead lull upon her; altogether, she had the appearance of having dropped, body and soul, within and without, under the weight of a crushing blow.
I played the game to an end with Estella, and she beggared me. She threw the cards down on the table when she had won them all, as if she despised them for having been won of me.
`When shall I have you here again?' said miss Havisham. `Let me think.'
I was beginning to remind her that to-day was Wednesday, when she checked me with her former impatient movement of the fingers of her right hand.
`There, there! I know nothing of days of the week; I know nothing of weeks of the year. Come again after six days. You hear?'
`Yes, ma'am.'
`Estella, take him down. Let him have something to eat, and let him roam and look about him while he eats. Go, Pip.'
I followed the candle down, as I had followed the candle up, and she stood it in the place where we had found it. Until she opened the side entrance, I had fancied, without thinking about it, that it must necessarily be night-time. The rush of the daylight quite confounded me, and made me feel as if I had been in the candlelight of the strange room many hours.
`You are to wait here, you boy,' said Estella; and disappeared and closed the door.
I took the opportunity of being alone in the court-yard, to look at my coarse hands and my common boots. My opinion of those accessories was not favourable. They had never troubled me before, but they troubled me now, as vulgar appendages. I determined to ask Joe why he had ever taught me to call those picture-cards, Jacks, which ought to be called knaves. I wished Joe had been rather more genteelly brought up, and then I should have been so too.
She came back, with some bread and meat and a little mug of beer. She put the mug down on the stones of the yard, and gave me the bread and meat without looking at me, as insolently as if I were a dog in disgrace. I was so humiliated, hurt, spurned, offended, angry, sorry - I cannot hit upon the right name for the smart - God knows what its name was - that tears started to my eyes. The moment they sprang there, the girl looked at me with a quick delight in having been the cause of them. This gave me power to keep them back and to look at her: so, she gave a contemptuous toss - but with a sense, I thought, of having made too sure that I was so wounded - and left me.
But, when she was gone, I looked about me for a place to hide my face in, and got behind one of the gates in the brewery-lane, and leaned my sleeve against the wall there, and leaned my forehead on it and cried. As I cried, I kicked the wall, and took a hard twist at my hair; so bitter were my feelings, and so sharp was the smart without a name, that needed counteraction.
My sister's bringing up had made me sensitive. In the little world in which children have their existence whosoever brings them up, there is nothing so finely perceived and so finely felt, as injustice. It may be only small injustice that the child can be exposed to; but the child is small, and its world is small, and its rocking-horse stands as many hands high, according to scale, as a big-boned Irish hunter. Within myself, I had sustained, from my babyhood, a perpetual conflict with injustice. I had known, from the time when I could speak, that my sister, in her capricious and violent coercion, was unjust to me. I had cherished a profound conviction that her bringing me up by hand, gave her no right to bring me up by jerks. Through all my punishments, disgraces, fasts and vigils, and other penitential performances, I had nursed this assurance; and to my communing so much with it, in a solitary and unprotected way, I in great part refer the fact that I was morally timid and very sensitive.
I got rid of my injured feelings for the time, by kicking them into the brewery wall, and twisting them out of my hair, and then I smoothed my face with my sleeve, and came from behind the gate. The bread and meat were acceptable, and the beer was warming and tingling, and I was soon in spirits to look about me.
To be sure, it was a deserted place, down to the pigeon-house in the brewery-yard, which had been blown crooked on its pole by some high wind, and would have made the pigeons think themselves at sea, if there had been any pigeons there to be rocked by it. But, there were no pigeons in the dove-cot, no horses in the stable, no pigs in the sty, no malt in the store-house, no smells of grains and beer in the copper or the vat. All the uses and scents of the brewery might have evaporated with its last reek of smoke. In a by-yard, there was a wilderness of empty casks, which had a certain sour remembrance of better days lingering about them; but it was too sour to be accepted as a sample of the beer that was gone - and in this respect I remember those recluses as being like most others.
Behind the furthest end of the brewery, was a rank garden with an old wall: not so high but that I could struggle up and hold on long enough to look over it, and see that the rank garden was the garden of the house, and that it was overgrown with tangled weeds, but that there was a track upon the green and yellow paths, as if some one sometimes walked there, and that Estella was walking away from me even then. But she seemed to be everywhere. For, when I yielded to the temptation presented by the casks, and began to walk on them. I saw her walking on them at the end of the yard of casks. She had her back towards me, and held her pretty brown hair spread out in her two hands, and never looked round, and passed out of my view directly. So, in the brewery itself - by which I mean the large paved lofty place in which they used to make the beer, and where the brewing utensils still were. When I first went into it, and, rather oppressed by its gloom, stood near the door looking about me, I saw her pass among the extinguished fires, and ascend some light iron stairs, and go out by a gallery high overhead, as if she were going out into the sky.
It was in this place, and at this moment, that a strange thing happened to my fancy. I thought it a strange thing then, and I thought it a stranger thing long afterwards. I turned my eyes - a little dimmed by looking up at the frosty light - towards a great wooden beam in a low nook of the building near me on my right hand, and I saw a figure hanging there by the neck. A figure all in yellow white, with but one shoe to the feet; and it hung so, that I could see that the faded trimmings of the dress were like earthy paper, and that the face was Miss Havisham's, with a movement going over the whole countenance as if she were trying to call to me. In the terror of seeing the figure, and in the terror of being certain that it had not been there a moment before, I at first ran from it, and then ran towards it. And my terror was greatest of all, when I found no figure there.
Nothing less than the frosty light of the cheerful sky, the sight of people passing beyond the bars of the court-yard gate, and the reviving influence of the rest of the bread and meat and beer, would have brought me round. Even with those aids, I might not have come to myself as soon as I did, but that I saw Estella approaching with the keys, to let me out. She would have some fair reason for looking down upon me, I thought, if she saw me frightened; and she should have no fair reason.
She gave me a triumphant glance in passing me, as if she rejoiced that my hands were so coarse and my boots were so thick, and she opened the gate, and stood holding it. I was passing out without looking at her, when she touched me with a taunting hand.
`Why don't you cry?'
`Because I don't want to.'
`You do,' said she. `You have been crying till you are half blind, and you are near crying again now.'
She laughed contemptuously, pushed me out, and locked the gate upon me. I went straight to Mr Pumblechook's, and was immensely relieved to find him not at home. So, leaving word with the shopman on what day I was wanted at Miss Havisham's again, I set off on the four-mile walk to our forge; pondering, as I went along, on all I had seen, and deeply revolving that I was a common labouring-boy; that my hands were coarse; that my boots were thick; that I had fallen into a despicable habit of calling knaves Jacks; that I was much more ignorant than I had considered myself last night, and generally that I was in a low-lived bad way.
 
彭波契克先生的宅邸在集镇的大街上，弥漫着干胡椒和谷粉的味道，说他是一个做粮食生意、卖种子的人，真一点不假。我想，他一定是一个十分幸福的人，因为在他的店堂中有许许多多的小抽屉。我偷瞧了下层的一两个抽屉，看到各式各样的牛皮纸包，里面都是些花种或根茎之类的，不禁想到，它们是不是也想有那么一天，从这纸做的监狱中破门而出、开花结果呢？
来到这里后的第二天清早我才有了这些思考，因为到达这里的当天晚上，我立刻被送到一间小阁楼上就寝。这间小阁楼的屋顶是倾斜的，在一个最低的角落处放了一张床。我心中计算着，屋上的瓦和我的眉毛之间相距不过一尺。一大清早，我发现在种子和灯芯绒之间有一种亲缘关系。彭波契克先生穿着用灯芯绒制的衣服，他的店堂伙计穿的也是用灯芯绒做成的衣服，不知为什么，他们穿的衣服散发出的灯芯绒气味和种子的气味很相似，而从种子包里散出来的气味又和灯芯绒的气味十分相似，所以，究竟什么是灯芯绒的气味，或者什么是种子的气味，我是无法分清的。同时，我又注意到另一件事，彭波契克先生做生意的方法就是直瞪瞪地望着街对过的那个马具师，而这位马具师的经营方式是不停地瞅着那位马车修理匠，而这位修理马车的师傅打发生活的办法是双手插在口袋里，凝视着面包师傅，而面包师傅交叉着双臂，目不转睛地注视着杂货店老板，这位老板则站在店门口对着药剂师打哈欠。唯一专心致志的人是钟表师傅，他永远伏在他的修表桌上，眼睛上罩个放大镜。尽管一群群身穿农民服装的人走来走去，透过他的店窗玻璃窥视着他，而他却不为所扰，成为大街上仅有的一位专心于自己买卖的人。
彭波契克先生和我于八点钟在店后面的客厅中享用早餐，而他店里的伙计却坐在店堂里的一袋豆子上，喝着一大杯茶，吃着奶油面包。我认为彭波契克先生是一个令人讨厌的伙伴。他完全接受了我姐姐的那套观点，在我吃饭的时刻也要来伤害我、惩罚我，给我吃的全是面包屑，只加上那么一点点儿黄油，而给我喝的牛奶却兑上了许许多多的热水。我看，还是老老实实的不要放牛奶更好。他的谈话内容，除掉要我算题目外，别的什么也没有。我对他客客气气地道了声早安，他却趾高气扬地立刻问我：“孩子，七乘九是多少？”可是，我刚住到这个陌生的地方，而且肚子空空的，叫我怎么能计算得出来呢？我饿得发慌，连一口面包屑还没来得及吞下去，他就提出了一连串的问题，整个早饭时间都没有停过，什么“七乘七是多少？”“乘四呢？”‘乘八呢？”“乘六呢？”“乘二呢？”“乘十呢”？等等等等。一道算题刚刚做好，我还来不及啃上一口面包或喝上一口牛奶水，第二道算题又来了。他这时却舒舒服服，用不着费脑筋地吃着火腿和热面包圈。要是我可以直言不讳的话，他那副吃相简直是生吞活剥、狼吞虎咽。
一到十点钟，我们就出发到郝维仙小姐家中去，我禁不住愉快起来，不过心中还是没有多少轻松自在的感觉，因为在这位小姐的家中，究竟应该怎样检点自己的行为，我完全没有把握。一刻钟不到，我们就抵达了郝维仙小姐的家门口。这是一所古老的砖瓦结构的房子，特别阴森凄凉，装着许多铁栅栏。有些窗户已经用砖头封死，那些留下来的窗户，凡低一些的都装有生了锈的铁条。房子的前面是一个院子，也装上了铁栅门，所以，我们按过门铃后只有站在外面等人来开门。趁等在门口的时间，我向里面张望着。就在这时，彭波契克先生还在说“七乘十四是多少？”但我假装没有听见。我看到房子的一侧是一个很大的造酒作坊，不过现在里面没有酿酒，看上去似乎已有很长时间不再酿酒了。
一扇窗户向上拉起，一个清脆悦耳的声音问道：“谁呀？”引我来的人赶忙答道：“彭波契克。”清脆的声音又说道：“知道了。”接着，窗户被放了下来，一位年轻姑娘手上提着一串钥匙，穿过院子走来。
彭波契克先生说道：“这就是皮普。”
“这就是皮普吗？”这位年轻小姐问道。她生得很漂亮，不过非常骄傲。“进来，皮普。”
彭波契克先生也想跟着进去，她连忙关上了门，将他拦在外面。
“噢！”她说道，“你想见一见郝维仙小姐吗？”
“要是郝维仙小姐想见我的话，我想进去看看她。”彭波契克答道，表情十分尴尬。
“噢！”姑娘说道，“那我就告诉你，她不想见你。”
她回答得那么肯定，根本没有商讨的余地。虽然彭波契克的尊严受到了挫折，而且也无法提出抗议，但是他仍然不放过我，用眼睛狠狠地盯住我，仿佛这一切又是我造成的。在离开时，他还念念不忘用话来教训我：“孩子！你要乖乖地在这里，要为一手把你带大的人争光！”我的心里还是七上八下，担心着什么时候他又会跑回来，又会站在大门外面考问我“七乘十六是多少？”不过，他没有回来。
领着我的年轻小姐锁上了大门，然后我们便穿过院子往里走去。路是用石板铺的，扫得很干净，只是在石板间的缝中长满了小草。路上有一个通道和造酒作坊连在一起。通道上的几扇木门都大开着，酒坊的所有门窗也都开着，所以一眼望去就能见到那高高的围墙。酒坊空荡荡的，已经不再使用。这里的风似乎比门外的风更加阴冷，并且发出尖厉的叫声。里外风声连成一片，在酒坊敞开的门窗处窜进窜出，和狂风在海上航船帆索间的呼啸声不相上下。
她看到我凝视着造酒作坊，便对我说道：“孩子，现在那里造出来的烈性啤酒，就是你全部喝光，也不会对你有半点儿伤害。”
“我想是这样的，小姐。”我有些羞涩地说。
“最好还是不要在这里酿酒，否则，造出来的酒也是酸的，孩子，你说对吧？”
“看上去是这样，小姐。”
“现在根本没有人想在这里造酒，”她又说道，“酒已经造过了，不过这造酒的地方还得呆头呆脑地待在这儿，一直到倒塌为止。至于烈性啤酒，地窖里放了很多，多得可以把这一座庄园宅第淹掉。”
“小姐，这房子就叫作庄园宅第吗？”
“孩子，这只是这房子的一个名字。”
“那么，小姐，这房子有不止一个名字吗？”
“还有一个名字，叫做沙提斯。这个词不是希腊文就是拉丁文，不是拉丁文就是希伯莱文，或者全是，反正对我来说，不管是哪一个意思都一样，那就是足够。”
“足够宅邸！”我说道，“小姐，这个名字可真奇怪。”
“是的，”她答道，“不过意思比这还多着呢。它的意思本来是指，无论是谁，一旦有了这所房子就足够了，再不希求别的。我想，在从前的日子里，人们一定是很容易满足的。好了，孩子，不要闲荡了。”
她左一声右一声叫我为“孩子”，既随随便便，又毫无礼貌，其实她自己的年龄和我也差不多。她看上去比我大得多，当然，作为一位姑娘，长得又漂亮，又沉静迷人，似乎有二十来岁，俨然是一位女皇，对我怀着轻视是理所当然的。
我们通过一扇边门走进屋子，因为那巨大的正门外锁着两根铁链条。一进去，我注意到的第一件事是那些过道都是漆黑的，只点着一支蜡烛，是刚才她出来时放在那里的。这时，她拿起蜡烛，我们一起走过了几条过道，又踏上楼梯。一路上全是漆黑一片，只有这支烛光照着我们的路。
终于，我们走到一个房间的门口，她说道：“进去。”
我答道：“小姐，我跟在你后面走。”这不是因为懂礼貌，而是我有些胆怯。
她听了我的话后答道：“孩子，你可别闹笑话；我可不进去。”然后，她便带着点儿轻视的态度走开了，而且，更糟的是把蜡烛也随身带走了。
我感到浑身不舒服，多半还有些害怕。无可奈何，我要做的唯一一件事就是硬着头皮敲门。我敲了门，里面传来声音要我进去。我推门进去，发现这是一间相当大的房间，里面燃点着许多支蜡烛，而白日的光辉一丝儿也看不到。根据陈设，我猜想这是一间化妆室，其中还有许多家具不要说是干什么用的，我就连见也没有见到过。最奇特别致的是一张铺着台布的桌子，上面有一面镀金的梳妆镜。一眼见到，我就断定它是一位贵夫人的梳妆台。
要不是因为我看到一位高贵的夫人坐在那里，否则很难说我能一眼看出这是一张梳妆台。她坐在一张扶手椅上，一只胳膊肘靠在梳妆台上，手支撑着她的头。我从来没有见到过这么奇怪的夫人，恐怕以后也不会再见到了。
她穿的衣服都是上等料子制的，缎子、花边、还有丝绸，全是白色的。她穿的鞋也是白色的。她头发上披下来一条长长的白色披纱，头上还别着新娘戴的花饰，但她的头发已经白了。在她的颈子上和手上闪着珠光宝气，还有些珠宝手饰在桌上闪闪发光。一些比她身上穿的礼服要稍显逊色的衣服以及几只装了一半的衣箱都凌乱地散放在房里。看来她还没有打扮好，因为她只有一只脚穿上了鞋，另一只鞋还放在梳妆台上她的手边；她的披纱还没有整理停当；带链的表还没有系好；应该戴在胸口的一些花边和一些小玩艺儿，诸如手帕。手套、一些花儿、祈祷书等，都乱七八糟地堆放在梳妆镜的周围。
我并不是一下子就看到了这许多东西，不过我一眼看到的东西也的确不少，比估计的要多得多。我眼睛所看到的东西应该都是白色的，很久很久以前肯定是白色的，不过现在已失去了光泽，都褪色了，泛黄了。我看到的这位穿戴结婚礼服的新娘也已经像她的礼服一样衰弱了，像她戴的花饰一样凋枯了。除了她那双深深陷凹的眼窝里还有些光彩外，在她身上再没有留下别的光彩。我看得出，这衣服曾经是穿在一位十分丰满的年青女人身上的。如今，那个丰满的身体亦已消瘦得只剩下皮包骨头，罩在上面的衣服也显得空荡荡的。我记得曾经有人带我去市集上看一具苍白可怕的蜡人，我不知道那是哪一位显赫人士的遗像模型。我还记得曾经有人把我带到一座古老的沼泽地上的教堂，去看一具骷髅。骷髅是从教堂的地下墓穴中拖出来的，华贵的衣眼已变成了灰。而现在，似乎蜡人和骷髅正在我的旁边，眼窝里有一双黑眼珠，滴溜溜转动着望着我。如果我能够叫出声，我早就大叫了起来。
“你是谁？”坐在桌边的夫人说道。
“夫人，我是皮普。”
“皮普？”
“夫人，我是彭波契克先生带来的男孩，到这里——玩的。”
“走近点，让我看看你，靠我近一些。”
我站在她的面前，避开她的目光，却详细地观察了四周的东西。我发现她的表停了，停在八点四十分，房里的钟也是停的，时间也是八点四十分。
“看着我，”郝维仙小姐说道，“你不怕一个从你出生后就没有见过阳光的女人吗？”
我感到遗憾的是我竟然毫不胆怯地撒了个大谎，这个谎包含在“不怕”的回答中。
“你知道我的手摸着的是什么地方？”她把一只手叠在另一只手上，放在左边胸口，对我说道。
“夫人，我知道。”这情景使我想起了那个要挖我心肝的年轻人。
“那么说我的手摸着哪里？”
“你的心。”
“碎了！”
她露出迫切的神色说出这几个字，而且特别加重了语气，还发出一阵令人毛骨悚然的笑声，笑声中隐藏着她的骄傲。她的手在胸口放了一会儿以后，才慢慢地挪开，仿佛两只手十分沉重。
“我烦闷极了，”郝维仙小姐说道，“要消遣解闷。我已经和男男女女们玩够了，所以想找个孩子来玩。玩吧。”
我想，哪怕是最喜欢争辩的读者也会承认，她要一个可怜的孩子在如此情况下玩耍，恐怕在这个世界上没有比这更困难的事了。
“有时候我会出现病态的幻想，”她继续说道，“我病态地幻想着我渴望看别人玩。得了，得了！”说着，她用右手的手指做了个不耐烦的动作，“现在玩吧，玩吧，玩吧。”
霎那间，我姐姐对我讲过的那些恐吓的话出现在我脑海中，我想我得不顾死活地玩一下，装成彭波契克先生的马车在房子中绕一圈。但是我又一想，我一定表演不到家，所以便放弃了这个念头，站在那儿呆呆地望着郝维仙小姐，而她也望着我。两人对峙了一会儿，她一定认为我太任性，于是说道：
“你怎么这样紧绷着脸不高兴，怎么这么不听话呢？”
“夫人，我没有不高兴。我只是感到对不起你，因为我现在玩不了，所以很对不起你。你不要责怪我，否则我姐姐会找我的麻烦。如果我能玩，我一定玩给你看。可这里的一切是那么新鲜，那么奇特，那么美好，同时又那么令人感到忧郁——”说到这里我停住了，担心说多了反而铸成大错，也许我已经说了太多。于是，我们又四目相对。
她一时没有答我的腔，把眼光从我身上移开，先注视着自己穿的衣服，然后看着梳妆台，最后又对着梳妆镜看着自己。
然后，她独自嘟哝着：“这对他是如此新鲜，而对我又是多么陈！日；这对他是如此奇特，而对我又是多么单调；不过这对他、对我都同样令人感到忧郁！把埃斯苔娜叫来。”
这时她仍然看着镜子里自己的形容，所以我想她一定是自言自语，便没有答腔。
“去把埃斯苔娜叫来，”她重复了一遍，目光扫视了一下我。“这种事你能做的。去叫埃斯苔娜，就在门口叫。”
在这样一幢毫不熟悉的大宅子里，站在一条漆黑而又神秘的过道里，我拉开嗓子大叫埃斯苔娜，大叫这位既看不见踪影，又听不见回音，待人傲慢的年轻小姐，而且是直呼其名。我内心感到这是一种天大的无礼行为，和叫我玩一样几乎是难以忍受的。不过，我最终听到了她的应声，然后看到她的蜡烛光像一颗星星一样沿着黑暗的过道飘然而来。
郝维仙小姐向她抬抬手，意思是要她走近些，然后随手从梳妆台上拿起一颗宝石，把它放在她美丽动人焕发着青春的胸脯上，接着又放在她美丽的棕色秀发上。她比试来比试去，说道：“总有一天这颗宝石是你的，亲爱的。你佩戴着这宝石会更楚楚动人的。现在，我要看你和这个孩子玩牌。”
“要我和这个小孩儿玩！为什么，这是一个乡下干苦力的孩子！”
我想我无意中听到了郝维仙小姐的回答，简直不敢相信自己的耳朵。她说：“要知道，你可以把他的心揉碎。”
“孩子，你会玩什么牌？”埃斯苔娜用非常蔑视的态度问我。
“小姐，除掉玩夺牌戏外，其他我都不会。”
“那就把他的牌都夺过来。”郝维仙小姐对埃斯苔娜说道。于是，我们都坐下来玩牌。
这时我才看明白，这个房间中的每一样东西都和那只表与钟一样，在很久以前就停止了。我注意到郝维仙小姐把那颗宝石又放到她刚才拿起的地方，一点都没有变更。埃斯苔娜发牌的时候，我又对梳妆台瞥了一眼。我看到放在上面的那只鞋，从前是白色的，现在已经发黄了，而且从来没有被穿过。我又看看她那只没有穿鞋的脚，看见脚上穿的那只丝袜，以前是白的，现在也已发黄，而且已经穿烂了。要是房中的物品不是处在这样一种停顿状态，要是房中那些早已褪色衰朽的东西没有衬托出死寂般的气氛，即使这变色的新娘礼服穿在色消形褪的躯体之上，也不会这么像死人衣眼，那条长长的披纱也不会这么像裹尸布。
在我们玩牌的时候，郝维仙小姐坐在那里，活像一具尸体。她身上那件婚礼礼眼的褶边和一些饰品看上去真像是土黄色的纸做的。虽然有些事我不明就里，但我听说过，很久很久以前埋在土里的尸体偶然被发现时，只要一被人们看到，便立刻化成粉末。由此，我便想到，郝维仙小姐看上去似乎只要一见到白日的阳光，也会立刻变成尘土的。
“瞧这个孩子！他把这张‘奈夫’叫做‘贾克’！”第一局牌还没有结束，埃斯苔娜便轻蔑地说道，“瞧他的手多么粗糙！瞧他穿的靴子多么笨重啊！”
过去我从来没有想过我的手会给我带来耻辱，而现在我也怀疑起我的手确实是一双难看的手来。她对我的蔑视像传染病一样也感染了我，我对自己也开始蔑视起来。
埃斯苔娜在第一局中获胜，轮到我发牌。我不可避免地发错了牌，因为我知道她正等在那里笑话我发错牌，所以一慌就出了错。于是，她指责我的机会又来了，骂我是个小笨蛋，是个粗俗的、干苦力的孩子。
“你一句也不回敬她，”郝维仙小姐看到这一切，便对我说，“她说了你许多不堪入耳的话，你却一句不说她。你觉得埃斯苔娜怎么样？”
“我不想讲。”我结结巴巴地说。
“那么你在我耳边说给我一个人听。”郝维仙小姐边说边把身子倾向我。
“我觉得她是很骄傲的。”我轻轻地对她耳语。
“还有呢？”
“我觉得她长得很漂亮。”
“还有呢？”
“我觉得她非常无礼。”我说话时埃斯苔娜正望着我，然后又做出一脸非常厌恶的神情。
“还有呢？”
“我想我要回家了。”
“她长得那么漂亮，你就不想再看到她了吗？”
“我不清楚是不是不想再看到她，但是我想我现在要回家了。”
“待一会儿你就能回家，”这时郝维仙小姐大声说道，“先把这一局牌打完。”
如果一开始没有见到过她那古怪的一笑，我肯定会认为郝维仙小姐的面孔绝对不会笑。也许当她周围的一切事物在很久以前停顿之时，她的脸就深深地陷入一种凝神沉思的表情。现在看上去似乎没有东西再能使她开颜。她的胸脯深陷了下去，使她变成了驼背；她的声音衰弱了下去，使她的话声很低，而且使人感到死神正召唤着她。总之，好像有一种致命性的打击，使她整个儿地憔悴下去，无论是肉体还是灵魂，无论是内心还是外表，统统地憔悴下去了。
我和埃斯苔娜打完了这局牌，她把我手中的牌全都吃光了，然后把所有的牌向桌上一扔，表明她大获全胜，那副神态，好像赢了我的牌简直是恶心。
“什么时候你再到我这里来呢？”郝维仙小姐说道，“让我来想一下。”
我正要提醒她说今天是星期三，她就挥动着右手的手指，带着前面提到过的那种不耐烦的神情，阻止我说下去。
“不要说了，不要说了！我不知道有什么星期几，我不知道有什么星期。过六天你再到我这儿来，听到没有？”
“听到了，夫人。”
“埃斯苔娜，带他出去，给他吃点儿东西，让他边吃边在四周走走看看。皮普，去吧。”
我跟随着烛光出去，和我刚才跟随着烛光进来一样。她把蜡烛放在我来时看到的那个老地方。我想这时一定已是黑夜了，可是她把边门打了开来，那白天的阳光一下子从外面射进来，弄得我头昏眼花。这使我感觉上似乎已在那间用蜡烛照亮的古怪房间中待了许多个小时了。
“你这孩子在这里等一下。”埃斯苔娜对我说，然后便消失了，并且关上了门。
现在只剩我一个人留在这个院子里，便趁机仔细瞧了瞧我这双粗糙的手和那双笨头笨脑的皮靴。我现在对这些东西很是瞧不起了，这些东西过去没有烦恼过我，现在却使我烦恼了。它们确是些粗俗不堪的东西。我决定回家去问问乔，为什么他总是告诉我那些牌叫做贾克，而实际上应该是奈夫。我想，如果当年乔的教养高一些，我也不至于落到这地步。
埃斯苔娜走了回来，拿来一些面包和肉，还有一小杯啤酒。她把杯子放在院子里的石板地上，把面包和肉递给我，一眼也不看我，傲慢得似乎把我当成一条可怜的小狗。我如此地丢脸，如此地伤心，如此地遭她冷眼，如此地受辱，既愤怒又难过。我找不到一个恰当的词来形容内心所受到的痛苦，也许只有上天才会知道。这痛苦使我的双眼中涌出一股泪水。就在眼泪要夺眶而出时，她望了我一眼，仿佛知道了流泪的原因和她有关，不禁喜形于色。正因为此，这倒反而给了我力量，强忍住不让眼泪再流出，并且望着她。于是，她轻视地把头高高抬起，离开了我。我想，也许她过于自信，以为伤透了我的心。
她走后，我瞧瞧四周，想找一个可以隐藏自己的地方。酒坊的过道里有几扇门，我躲到其中一扇门后，把手臂倚在墙上，把头倚在手臂上，放声大哭。我一面哭，一面踢着墙，还狠命地揪自己的头发。我实在太伤心了，那无名的痛苦是如此地折磨着我，非得发泄一番不可。
我姐姐的那种教养方法，使我形成了多愁善感的气质。在孩子们的小天地里有其自身的存在意义，无论是谁把他们养大，他们感受得最真切、最具有决定性意义的事莫过于受到不公平待遇。也许孩子们所受到的只是微不足道的一点儿虐待，但是，因为孩子本身是小的，他们的天地也是小的。在他们的心灵中，一头木马虽然只有十几英寸高，但从比例上看，和一头爱尔兰人骑的高头宽身大猎马没有什么分别。就从我的内心来说，从婴儿时起我就受到虐待，所以，我也就不断地和不公平待遇作永恒的斗争。从我刚刚学话时起，我姐姐就运用她一贯喜怒无常和狂暴肆虐的高压手段虐待我。我在思想中一直有一个坚定的信念，虽说是她把我一手带大，但她没有权利运用打骂方式一手把我带大。她对我的虐待有打骂、羞辱、不许吃饭、不许睡觉以及其他各种惩罚手段，也正是在这些惩罚中我形成了要斗争的心理。由于我生活于孤独之中，没有依靠，所以只有在自己心中自言自语。大体上，我性格上的胆怯和多愁善感就是在这种情况下养成的。
我用脚踢着造酒作坊的墙，狠命地拉扯我的头发，以此来排解郁积在心头。受了伤害的情感。然后，我用袖口抹去满面的泪水，这才又从门背后走了出来。面包和肉倒也香甜可口，啤酒似一股暖流冲入身体，使我兴奋起来，立时精神百倍，乘兴观望起四周来。
我十分肯定，这里已成为一片荒凉之地，直到酿酒大院里的鸽舍都毫无生气。支撑鸽舍的竿子被大风吹得东歪西斜，如果鸽舍中还住着几只鸽子的话，它们一定以为自己正在海上颠簸漂荡。不过这里没有鸽子，鸽舍中空空如也。马房中没有马，猪圈中没有猪，仓库中没有麦芽，连大钢罐及大酒桶中也不再散发出麦子和啤酒的香气。造酒作坊里的全部酒气都已经随着已消失的烟雾蒸发光了。在作坊的侧院里，放着一批空酒桶，发出一阵阵酒酸气，成为当年黄金时代所留下来的一点儿回味。不过，这味实在太酸，和当年啤酒的香气大不一样，算不上是残自的样品。由此，我联想到那些隐士，大部分也和隐士这个名称搭不上钩。
在造酒作坊最远的尽头，有一道旧围墙，过去是一座荒废了的园子。这道墙并不高，我只要努力站直身体，伸长颈子就可以看到园中的东西。我看到这座荒废了的园子原来是这所宅子的花园，里面杂草丛生，四处蔓延，但是在原来黄绿相间的小路上不知被谁踏出了一条足迹，好像有人不时在上面走过，好像埃斯苔娜此时正离我而去。可是，埃斯苔娜似乎无处不在。那些放在地上的酒桶吸引了我。我跳上酒桶，在一只只酒桶上走着。这时，我看到埃斯苔娜也在院子另一头的酒桶上走着。她背对着我，一头的棕色秀发从头上披下来。她用双手捧住发梢，目不旁顾，一直往前，然后便在我眼前消失了。然后我走进酿酒作坊，也就是当年酿制啤酒的地方。这里地势较高，地面铺着石板，里面还存放着从前的各种酿酒器皿。我一走进这里，那阴森的气氛就压得我透不过气来。我站在门旁边，四下里打量，看到埃斯苔娜正在几只早已熄灭了的火炉间走过，接着爬上了一座轻便铁梯，又从一道头顶上的长廊走了出去，好像她正要从那儿走到天上去。
就是在这块地方，就是在这个时刻，也许是由于我的幻觉，发生了一件奇特的事。我认为这是一件奇特的事，而且长久以后我仍认为这是一件奇特的事。当时，亮如白霜的日光使我有一点儿目眩。我抬头望见一根很大的木梁，位于靠近我右边的建筑角落里。我发现那里吊着一个人，绳子套在颈子上。这个人全身穿着泛黄的白色衣服，只有一只脚上穿了鞋子。她吊得高高的，我可以看到她衣服上已褪色的花饰，像土黄色的纸一样。再看，那张面孔，正是郝维仙小姐的脸。那整副面孔动了一下，仿佛想要叫我。看到这个人形，我恐惧万分。一想到刚才这儿还没有它，我就更加害怕。于是我开始是没命地逃离这个人形，然后却又回过头来向着它奔去，待到发现那儿根本没有什么人时，我的恐惧更是强烈得难以形容。
应当感谢晴朗天空中闪烁耀眼的阳光，以及院门铁栅栏外的过路人，再加上吃完了剩下来的面包、肉和啤酒，这才使我清醒了一些，恢复了一点正常。要不是埃斯苔娜拿了一串钥匙走来开门放我出去，所有这些也并不能使我很快地完全从惊恐中复原。她本来就掌握了几个把柄轻视我，我想，要是她现在发现我给吓得如此样子又会怎么说呢？我千万不能让她再抓住这个把柄。
埃斯苔娜走过我身边时，用得胜的眼光看了我一眼，仿佛我的双手如此粗糙以及我的皮靴如此笨重都使她欢天喜地。这时，她开了门，站在门口用手抓住门。我一眼也没看她就走了出去，而她却用手嘲弄地碰了我一下。
“为什么你不哭呢？”
“因为我不想哭。”
“我看你是想哭的，”她说道，“你刚才哭得都快把眼睛哭瞎了，现在看上去又快要哭出来了。”
她做慢地笑着，然后把我推出门去，立刻把门锁上。我直接回到彭波契克先生家中，如释重负地发现他不在家。我请店中的伙计转告彭波契克先生，告诉他郝维仙小姐要我下一次到她家的日期。然后，我就步行四英里，径自回我们的铁匠铺了。我一路走一路思考着在那里看到的一切，深刻地反思着，原来我只是一个低三下四、干粗活的小孩，我的两手是粗糙的，我的皮靴是笨重的，而且我还养成了卑劣的习气，竟然把奈夫叫成贾克。我今天才知道我是多么无知，我过的日子是多么可怜和低下。
Chapter 9
WHEN I reached home, my sister was very curious to know all about Miss Havisham's, and asked a number of questions. And I soon found myself getting heavily bumped from behind in the nape of the neck and the small of the back, and having my face ignominiously shoved against the kitchen wall, because I did not answer those questions at sufficient length. 
If a dread of not being understood be hidden in the breasts of other young people to anything like the extent to which it used to be hidden in mine - which I consider probable, as I have no particular reason to suspect myself of having been a monstrosity - it is the key to many reservations. I felt convinced that if I described Miss Havisham's as my eyes had seen it, I should not be understood. Not only that, but I felt convinced that Miss Havisham too would not be understood; and although she was perfectly incomprehensible to me, I entertained an impression that there would be something coarse and treacherous in my dragging her as she really was (to say nothing of Miss Estella) before the contemplation of Mrs Joe. Consequently, I said as little as I could, and had my face shoved against the kitchen wall.
The worst of it was that that bullying old Pumblechook, preyed upon by a devouring curiosity to be informed of all I had seen and heard, came gaping over in his chaise-cart at tea-time, to have the details divulged to him. And the mere sight of the torment, with his fishy eyes and mouth open, his sandy hair inquisitively on end, and his waistcoat heaving with windy arithmetic, made me vicious in my reticence.
`Well, boy,' Uncle Pumblechook began, as soon as he was seated in the chair of honour by the fire. `How did you get on up town?'
I answered, `Pretty well, sir,' and my sister shook her fist at me.
`Pretty well?' Mr. Pumblechook repeated. `Pretty well is no answer. Tell us what you mean by pretty well, boy?'
Whitewash on the forehead hardens the brain into a state of obstinacy perhaps. Anyhow, with whitewash from the wall on my forehead, my obstinacy was adamantine. I reflected for some time, and then answered as if I had discovered a new idea, `I mean pretty well.'
My sister with an exclamation of impatience was going to fly at me - I had no shadow of defence, for Joe was busy in the forge when Mr Pumblechook interposed with `No! Don't lose your temper. Leave this lad to me, ma'am; leave this lad to me.' Mr Pumblechook then turned me towards him, as if he were going to cut my hair, and said:
`First (to get our thoughts in order): Forty-three pence?'
I calculated the consequences of replying `Four Hundred Pound,' and finding them against me, went as near the answer as I could - which was somewhere about eightpence off. Mr Pumblechook then put me through my pence-table from `twelve pence make one shilling,' up to `forty pence make three and fourpence,' and then triumphantly demanded, as if he had done for me, `Now!How much is forty-three pence?' To which I replied, after a long interval of reflection, `I don't know.' And I was so aggravated that I almost doubt if I did know.
Mr Pumblechook worked his head like a screw to screw it out of me, and said, `Is forty-three pence seven and sixpence three fardens, for instance?'
`Yes!' said I. And although my sister instantly boxed my ears, it was highly gratifying to me to see that the answer spoilt his joke, and brought him to a dead stop.
`Boy! What like is Miss Havisham?' Mr Pumblechook began again when he had recovered; folding his arms tight on his chest and applying the screw.
`Very tall and dark,' I told him.
`Is she, uncle?' asked my sister.
Mr Pumblechook winked assent; from which I at once inferred that he had never seen Miss Havisham, for she was nothing of the kind.
`Good!' said Mr Pumblechook conceitedly. (`This is the way to have him! We are beginning to hold our own, I think, Mum?')
`I am sure, uncle,' returned Mrs Joe, `I wish you had him always: you know so well how to deal with him.'
`Now, boy! What was she a doing of, when you went in today?' asked Mr Pumblechook.
`She was sitting,' I answered, `in a black velvet coach.'
Mr Pumblechook and Mrs Joe stared at one another - as they well might - and both repeated, `In a black velvet coach?'
`Yes,' said I. `And Miss Estella - that's her niece, I think - handed her in cake and wine at the coach-window, on a gold plate. And we all had cake and wine on gold plates. And I got up behind the coach to eat mine, because she told me to.'
`Was anybody else there?' asked Mr Pumblechook.
`Four dogs,' said I.
`Large or small?'
`Immense,' said I. `And they fought for veal cutlets out of a silver basket.'
Mr Pumblechook and Mrs Joe stared at one another again, in utter amazement. I was perfectly frantic - a reckless witness under the torture - and would have told them anything.
`Where was this coach, in the name of gracious?' asked my sister.
`In Miss Havisham's room.' They stared again. `But there weren't any horses to it.' I added this saving clause, in the moment of rejecting four richly caparisoned coursers which I had had wild thoughts of harnessing.
`Can this be possible, uncle?' asked Mrs Joe. `What can the boy mean?'
`I'll tell you, Mum,' said Mr Pumblechook. `My opinion is, it's a sedan-chair. She's flighty, you know - very flighty - quite flighty enough to pass her days in a sedan-chair.'
`Did you ever see her in it, uncle?' asked Mrs Joe.
`How could I,' he returned, forced to the admission, `when I never see her in my life? Never clapped eyes upon her!'
`Goodness, uncle! And yet you have spoken to her?'
`Why, don't you know,' said Mr Pumblechook, testily, `that when I have been there, I have been took up to the outside of her door, and the door has stood ajar, and she has spoke to me that way. Don't say you don't know that, Mum. Howsever, the boy went there to play. What did you play at, boy?'
`We played with flags,' I said. (I beg to observe that I think of myself with amazement, when I recall the lies I told on this occasion.)
`Flags!' echoed my sister.
`Yes,' said I. `Estella waved a blue flag, and I waved a red one, and Miss Havisham waved one sprinkled all over with little gold stars, out at the coach-window. And then we all waved our swords and hurrahed.'
`Swords!' repeated my sister. `Where did you get swords from?'
`Out of a cupboard,' sand I. `And I saw pistols in it - and jam - and pills. And there was no daylight in the room, but it was all lighted up with candles.'
`That's true, Mum,' said Mr Pumblechook, with a grave nod. `That's the state of the case, for that much I've seen myself.' And then they both stared at me, and I, with an obtrusive show of artlessness on my countenance, stared at them, and plaited the right leg of my trousers with my right hand.
If they had asked me any more questions I should undoubtedly have betrayed myself, for I was even then on the point of mentioning that there was a balloon in the yard, and should have hazarded the statement but for my invention being divided between that phenomenon and a bear in the brewery. They were so much occupied, however, in discussing the marvels I had already presented for their consideration, that I escaped. The subject still held them when Joe came in from his work to have a cup of tea. To whom my sister, more for the relief of her own mind than for the gratification of his, related my pretended experiences.
Now, when I saw Joe open his blue eyes and roll them all round the kitchen in helpless amazement, I was overtaken by penitence; but only as regarded him - not in the least as regarded the other two. Towards Joe, and Joe only, I considered myself a young monster, while they sat debating what results would come to me from Miss Havisham's acquaintance and favour. They had no doubt that Miss Havisham would `do something' for me; their doubts related to the form that something would take. My sister stood out for `property.' Mr Pumblechook was in favour of a handsome premium for binding me apprentice to some genteel trade - say, the corn and seed trade, for instance. Joe fell into the deepest disgrace with both, for offering the bright suggestion that I might only be presented with one of the dogs who had fought for the veal-cutlets. `If a fool's head can't express better opinions than that,' said my sister, `and you have got any work to do, you had better go and do it.' So he went.
After Mr Pumblechook had driven off, and when my sister was washing up, I stole into the forge to Joe, and remained by him until he had done for the night. Then I said, `Before the fire goes out, Joe, I should like to tell you something.'
`Should you, Pip?' said Joe, drawing his shoeing-stool near the forge. `Then tell us. What is it, Pip?'
`Joe,' said I, taking hold of his rolled-up shirt sleeve, and twisting it between my finger and thumb, `you remember all that about Miss Havisham's?'
`Remember?' said Joe. `I believe you! Wonderful!'
`It's a terrible thing, Joe; it ain't true.'
`What are you telling of, Pip?' cried Joe, falling back in the greatest amazement. `You don't mean to say it's--'
`Yes I do; it's lies, Joe.'
`But not all of it? Why sure you don't mean to say, Pip, that there was no black welwet co - eh?' For, I stood shaking my head. `But at least there was dogs, Pip? Come, Pip,' said Joe, persuasively, `if there warn't no weal-cutlets, at least there was dogs?'
`No, Joe.'
`A dog?' said Joe. `A puppy? Come?'
`No, Joe, there was nothing at all of the kind.'
As I fixed my eyes hopelessly on Joe, Joe contemplated me in dismay. `Pip, old chap! This won't do, old fellow! I say! Where do you expect to go to?'
`It's terrible, Joe; an't it?'
`Terrible?' cried Joe. `Awful! What possessed you?'
`I don't know what possessed me, Joe,' I replied, letting his shirt sleeve go, and sitting down in the ashes at his feet, hanging my head; `but I wish you hadn't taught me to call Knaves at cards, Jacks; and I wish my boots weren't so thick not my hands so coarse.'
And then I told Joe that I felt very miserable, and that I hadn't been able to explain myself to Mrs Joe and Pumblechook who were so rude to me, and that there had been a beautiful young lady at Miss Havisham's who was dreadfully proud, and that she had said I was common, and that I knew I was common, and that I wished I was not common, and that the lies had come of it somehow, though I didn't know how.
This was a case of metaphysics, at least as difficult for Joe to deal with, as for me. But Joe took the case altogether out of the region of metaphysics, and by that means vanquished it.
`There's one thing you may be sure of, Pip,' said Joe, after some rumination, `namely, that lies is lies. Howsever they come, they didn't ought to come, and they come from the father of lies, and work round to the same. Don't you tell no more of 'em, Pip. That ain't the way to get out of being common, old chap. And as to being common, I don't make it out at all clear. You are oncommon in some things. You're oncommon small. Likewise you're a oncommon scholar.'
`No, I am ignorant and backward, Joe.'
`Why, see what a letter you wrote last night! Wrote in print even! I've seen letters - Ah! and from gentlefolks! - that I'll swear weren't wrote in print,' said Joe.
`I have learnt next to nothing, Joe. You think much of me. It's only that.'
`Well, Pip,' said Joe, `be it so or be it son't, you must be a common scholar afore you can be a oncommon one, I should hope!The king upon his throne, with his crown upon his 'ed, can't sit and write his acts of Parliament in print, without having begun, when he were a unpromoted Prince, with the alphabet - Ah!' added Joe, with a shake of the head that was full of meaning, `and begun at A too, and worked his way to Z. And I know what that is to do, though I can't say I've exactly done it.'
There was some hope in this piece of wisdom, and it rather encouraged me.
`Whether common ones as to callings and earnings,' pursued Joe, reflectively, `mightn't be the better of continuing for a keep company with common ones, instead of going out to play with oncommon ones - which reminds me to hope that there were a flag, perhaps?'
`No, Joe.'
`(I'm sorry there weren't a flag, Pip). Whether that might be, or mightn't be, is a thing as can't be looked into now, without putting your sister on the Rampage; and that's a thing not to be thought of, as being done intentional. Lookee here, Pip, at what is said to you by a true friend. Which this to you the true friend say. If you can't get to be oncommon through going straight, you'll never get to do it through going crooked. So don't tell no more on 'em, Pip, and live well and die happy.'
`You are not angry with me, Joe?'
`No, old chap. But bearing in mind that them were which I meantersay of a stunning and outdacious sort - alluding to them which bordered on weal-cutlets and dog-fighting - a sincere wellwisher would adwise, Pip, their being dropped into your meditations, when you go up-stairs to bed. That's all, old chap, and don't never do it no more.'
When I got up to my little room and said my prayers, I did not forget Joe's recommendation, and yet my young mind was in that disturbed and unthankful state, that I thought long after I laid me down, how common Estella would consider Joe, a mere blacksmith: how thick his boots, and how coarse his hands. I thought how Joe and my sister were then sitting in the kitchen, and how I had come up to bed from the kitchen, and how Miss Havisham and Estella never sat in a kitchen, but were far above the level of such common doings. I fell asleep recalling what I `used to do' when I was at Miss Havisham's; as though I had been there weeks or months, instead of hours; and as though it were quite an old subject of remembrance, instead of one that had arisen only that day.
That was a memorable day to me, for it made great changes in me. But, it is the same with any life. Imagine one selected day struck out of it, and think how different its course would have been. Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day.
 
我一回到家，我姐姐便好奇地要我讲述郝维仙小姐的情况，并且提出了一连串的问题。因为我的回答不很详细，我姐姐的拳头立刻便落在我的颈背和后腰上，并且把我的面孔直向厨房的墙上撞，使我丢尽了脸。
通常一般的年轻人由于担心所讲的不被人们理解，有一些事情便放在心里不讲。于是我也就支支吾吾的，因为我没有特殊的理由把自己看成一个畸形怪物。这就是我为什么对有些问题秘而不宣的原因。我始终认为，如果我把在郝维仙小姐那儿亲眼所见的一切都和盘托出，别人一定不会理解我。不仅如此，我还坚信，如果那样，别人也不会了解郝维仙小姐。尽管我对郝维仙小姐也并不真正了解，但是我心中暗忖，如果把郝维仙小姐拉出来，直截了当地把一切讲个明白，让我姐姐满足她好奇的企图，那我就显得太卑鄙无耻和忘思负义了。至于埃斯苔娜小姐就更不用提了。所以，我能够少说便少说，这样我的头才被揪住，我的面孔才被撞到厨房的墙上。
最糟糕的还是那个专门吹胡子瞪眼睛的老家伙彭波契克。他为了想知道奇闻异事简直给弄得心乱如麻，在喝下午茶的时候乘坐他的自备马车气喘喘地赶来，要我把所见到的和所听到的一五一十全盘向他倾倒出来。他大张着鱼一样的眼睛和嘴巴，每一根爱好追根刨底的头发都站在头顶上，背心因为满肚子装的算术题而胀鼓鼓的。我一看到他这份德性，便决定以牙还牙，决不奉告。
“那么，孩子，”彭波契克舅舅一在火炉旁边的优待席上坐定，便迫不及待地说道，“到镇上去的情况怎么样？”
我回答道：“很不错的，先生。”这时我姐姐紧捏着拳头对我晃动了一下。
“很不错的？”彭波契克先生重复了一句。“很不错等于没有说，是废话。孩子，告诉我们大家，你说的很不错是什么意思。”
据说额角上涂上石灰粉便能使脑袋更坚固，更顽固。无论如何，我的脑袋撞在墙上，额角上涂上了石灰粉，我就顽固起来了，而且像铁石一样顽固。我想了片刻，仿佛有了新的主意，便答道：“很不错的意思就是很不错。”
我姐姐一听不耐烦了，便大叫一声，随即向我没命地扑来。这时乔正在铁匠铺中忙着干活，没有人来庇护我。幸好她的行动被彭波契克阻拦住了，他说道：“不要这样，不要动肝火。把这小子留给我，夫人，把这小子留给我来教训。”彭波契克先生说毕便把我的头扭向他，仿佛他正准备要给我剃头。他说道：
“先让你来把思想整理一下，算一算四十三个便士是多少？”
我在核计着，如果我回答等于四百镑会有什么后果。我想这可不太好，我得尽可能算得准确些，但算来算去总要多出七八个便士。彭波契克先生便要我再温习一下便士换算，从“十二个便士得一先令”开始，一直到“四十个便士得三先令四便士”，然后他自鸣得意地说：“现在你可以算了，四十三便士是多少？”仿佛他已经把我教训好了。听了他的话，我思考了不少时间，答道：“我算不出。”我给他气得可能也真的是算不出了。
彭波契克先生把他的头当成螺丝钉似的转动起来，似乎想从我身上钻出答案。他说道：“比方说，四十三个便士是不是等于七先令六便士五法寻呢？”
“对！”我答道。我姐姐听了立刻打了我几记耳光。本来他打算拿我寻开心，我的回答挫败了他的计划，使他停止了发问，这对我来说仍然获得了很大的满足。
“孩子，郝维仙小姐究竟是怎么一个人？”这时彭波契克先生又想起了什么事，便重开话头。他把两条胳膊交叉在胸口，又转动起他的螺丝钉脑袋。
“又高又黑。”我告诉他。
“舅舅，她真的是这样吗？”我姐姐问道。
彭波契克先生眨眨眼睛，表示同意。仅从这点，我立刻便可得出推论，他压根儿就没有见到过郝维仙小姐，因为她完全不是这样的人。
“好！”彭波契克先生十分自负地说道，“这就是管教他的方法！现在我们已经开始固守阵地了，夫人，我是这样想的。”
“舅舅，那是自然的。’乔夫人答道，“我真希望你能把他管教好。你知道该怎样对付他的。”
“那么，孩子！告诉我，你今天进到她屋里时，她正在干什么事？”彭波契克先生对我问道。
“她正坐在那里，”我答道，“坐在一辆黑天鹅绒的马车里。”
彭波契克先生和乔夫人眼睛睁得大大的，四目相望。这是意料之中的事。他们异口同声地重复着：“坐在一辆黑色天鹅绒的马车里？”
“对，”我说道，“还有埃斯苔娜小姐，我猜是她的侄女儿。她把糕点和酒放在金盘子上，从马车的窗口递进去给郝维仙小姐。我们每个人一个金盘子，上面放着糕点和酒。她叫我也上马车，站在车后面吃我的一份。”
“那儿还有别的人在吗？”彭波契克先生问我道。
“有四条狗。”我说。
“是大狗还是小狗？”
“很大很大，”我答道，“它们都在一个银筐中，把头伸出来抢小牛肉片吃。”
彭波契克先生和乔夫人又睁大眼睛，四目相望，惊奇得不得了。这时我已经疯了，这是他们用严刑逼出来的，根本用不着证明的信口开河。我什么话都能胡编乱造出来。
“我慈悲的主啊，这辆马车会放在什么地方呢？”我姐姐问道。
“就放在郝维仙小姐的房间内。”他们听了这句话更睁圆了眼睛。本来我还想讲有四匹穿着极其讲究的豪华马服的马，可最终没有讲出，便改讲了一句：“不过一匹马也没有。”
“这会是可能的吗？”乔夫人问道，“看这个孩子讲的是什么呀？”
“夫人，我的看法是，”彭波契克先生说道，“这是一顶轿子。她是轻浮的人物，你知道，她非常轻浮，轻浮得要坐在轿子里享受生活，消磨时光。”
“舅舅，你过去见过她坐在轿子里吗？”乔夫人问道。
“我怎么能见过？”他被逼得只有承认事实，说道，“我一辈子也没有见过她。我从来没有见过她一眼。”
“我的天哪，舅舅！你过去是怎么和她谈话的？”
“你怎么还不明白？”彭波契克先生有些怒气地说道，“过去我到那里去，只被领到她住的卧室门口。她把门开出一条缝儿，就在那里和我讲话。这一点你不是不知道啊，夫人。当然，这小孩到里边去玩了。孩子，在那儿你玩些什么？”
“在那里我们玩旗子。”我说道。（我得请你们允许我陈述一下我的情况；后来每当回忆起当时所讲的弥天大谎时，连我自己也感孙心凉肉跳。）
“玩旗子？”我姐姐重复了我的话。
“一点不假，”我说道，“埃斯苔娜摇一面蓝色旗，我摇一面红色旗，而郝维仙小姐摇的一面旗子上面闪耀着许多小金星。她从马车车窗里伸出手来摇。然后我们又舞剑，而且一面舞剑，一面欢呼。”
“舞剑！”我姐姐又重复了一声。“你们的剑是从哪儿来的？”
“剑都是从食橱中拿出来的，”我答道，“我还看到里面有手枪，还有果酱，还有药丸。房间里根本没有阳光，点了许多蜡烛，房间就靠烛光照明。”
“那倒是真的。”彭波契克先生说道，而且很庄重地点点。“确实是这个样子，我曾经亲眼见过的。”然后，他们两人又睁圆眼睛看着我，而我在面孔上摆出一副冒冒失失的机警神气，也睁圆了眼睛望着他们。同时，我用右手玩着右边的裤脚管，把它提出许多褶来。
如果他们再问我一些问题，可以肯定，我一定会露出马脚。本来我还想讲，在那个院子里有一只气球。我简直是孤注一掷，乱说一顿。不过我想创新的玩艺儿又被其他的新奇事儿干扰了。究竟是讲院子里的气球，还是讲制酒作坊里的熊，我尚在犹豫之中。这时，他们听了我的讲述，引起强烈的好奇，正在讨论着这些怪事，因此我便逃过了露马脚。直到乔从铁匠铺回来喝茶休息的时候，他们还在争论着。于是我姐姐便把我讲的又告诉了他，这当然不是为了讨他喜欢，而是为了解一解她自己心头的郁闷。
听了我姐姐的转述，我看到乔睁大了他的蓝眼睛，滴溜溜地对着厨房四周瞧来瞧去，表现出一副无可奈何的惊诧。这时我突然懊悔起来。不过我所说的懊悔只是对乔一个人，而对另外两个人则绝无悔意。我是对乔，也仅仅是对乔有歉意，自觉是个小妖精。他们正在争论着，现在我和郝维仙小姐相识了，又得到了她的恩惠，我将会从她那里得到什么结果呢？他们坚决认定郝维仙小姐一定会为我做些什么，但究竟以什么方式他们却猜不透。我姐姐最希望得到她的财产，而彭波契克先生认为最好还是给我一笔钱，使我能挤进上等贸易商行当个学徒，比如说，做谷物种子的生意。乔这时提出一个非常好的看法，却被他们两人丢了个大白眼。乔说，郝维仙小姐可能会给我一条抢吃小牛肉片的狗。我姐姐一听便劈头骂道：“狗嘴里长不出象牙。你只能干笨活，最好还是滚过你那打铁间去干活儿吧。”乔听了，自感没趣地走了。
彭波契克先生离开后，我姐姐忙于洗碗涮碟，我便偷偷溜进了乔的打铁间，坐在他旁边，一直等到他干完了晚上的活，这才对他说：“现在趋炉火还没有熄，乔，我想和你谈点事。”
“皮普，你要谈什么？”他把钉蹄凳放在熔铁炉旁边，说道，“你就告诉我吧，皮普，你要说什么？”
“乔，”我抓住他那卷上去的衬衣袖管，在食指和拇指之间绞来绞去，“你记得刚才说的郝维仙小姐的事吗？”
“怎么会不记得？”乔说道，“我相信你所说的！真有趣！”
“乔，这太糟了，我说的全是假话。”
“你在说什么，皮普？”乔大声说道，非常惊讶地向后缩了一下，“难道你的意思是你刚才说的——”
“确实是的，全是假话。”
“你说的难道没有真话吗？皮普，难道连黑天鹅绒的马车也肯定没有吗？”因为我站在那里直摇头，他又说：“皮普，至少总有狗吧，你说呢？”他以劝告的口吻说道：“要是没有小牛肉片，至少有狗，是吗？”
“乔，连狗也没有。”
“总有一条狗吧？”乔说道，“至少有一条小哈巴狗吧，你说呢？”
“没有，乔，根本什么狗也没有。”
我不带任何希望地盯住乔，而乔却尴尬地凝视着我，说道：“我说老兄弟皮普！你这可干不得，我的老朋友！你这样以后会变成什么人啊？”
“简直太糟了，乔，你说是不是？”
“真糟糕！”乔大声喊道，“糟糕透顶！什么魔鬼缠住你了？”
“我不知道是什么魔鬼缠住了我，乔。”我答道，放下了他的衬衫袖口，坐在他脚旁边的煤灰堆上，低垂着头。“不过，过去你要是不教我把奈夫说成贾克，那可多好，我的靴子要不是这么笨重，我的双手要不是这么粗糙，那可多好。”
于是我便把心里话对乔兜了出来。我说自己太不幸了，不能向姐姐及彭波契克先生道出真情，因为他们对我委实太粗暴。我说在郝维仙小姐家中有一个非常美丽的年轻小姐。她简直太骄傲了，总是说我太平常了。我也知道我太平常，但我还是希望自己不平常才好，也许就是因为这个原因我才说了假话。说真的，究竟是因为什么，我一时也弄不清。
这个问题简直太玄了，对乔来说和对我自己一样，是个难以处置的问题。不过乔所采取的是回避玄而又玄的问题，不理会倒反而把结打开了，一切就烟消云散了。
“有一件事情是可以肯定的，皮普，”乔稍许思索了片刻说道，“那就是，说谎总归是说谎。不管是因为什么而说谎，都是不应该的。说谎这个东西也是来自说谎的祖宗，又会传给别人。皮普，今后千万别再对我说谎。说谎这玩艺儿不能使你摆脱平常，我的老兄弟。至于什么叫平常，我是弄不清楚的，但我感到在有些地方你是不平常的，比如说在小个子这方面你就是不平常的，也许在做学问方面，你也是不平常的。”
“不对，我是无知无识的，又是没头没脑的，乔。”
“怎么会，就说昨天晚上你写的那封信吧，简直像印出来的一样！我看过许多信，说真的，都是些上等人写的！我敢发誓，那些信都不像印出来的样子。”乔说道。
“我知道我懂的太少太少，乔，你把我想得太好了，就这么一回事。”
“好了，皮普，”乔说道，“是这样和不是这样反正都一样，你要想成为一个不平常的学者，首先要做一个平平常常的学者，这就是我对你的希望！再说皇帝吧，虽然戴了一顶王冠在头上，可是他起初也只是一个没有发迹的王子，也必须从第一个字母A学起，一直学到最后一个字母Z。要是他不这样，没有平常的开始，他能有坐在皇位上并正正规规地写出法令的不平常吗？”于是乔摇了几下头，其中包含了无限的深意，然后又补充说：“虽然我不能说我已经真正做到，但我知道应该怎样做。”
从他的这篇充满智慧的阔论中，我看到一线希望，也确实得到了鼓励。
“至于干活、挣钱、吃饭的平常人，”乔思索了一下又说道，“最好还是只和平常的人们交友，不必去和那些不平常的人们去玩——对了，我这倒想起了一件事，你说的玩旗子，我希望这可是真的吧？”
“不，乔。”
“（连旗子也没有，皮普，真叫我感到可惜。）无论有旗子还是没有旗子都是一回事，现在也不可能调查清楚，否则你姐姐又会暴跳如雷。也不必去想那些了，反正你也不是故意说假话。听我说，皮普，我对你直说是因为我们是真朋友，对你这样说就是一个真朋友的话。如果你不能从正道达到不平常，你千万不能从邪道去达到不平常。以后不要再说谎了，皮普，做一个人要活得正派，死得幸福。”
“乔，你不会生我的气吧？”
“我不会生你的气，老弟。不过你得记住，你说的假话，比如你说的小牛肉片和几只狗抢吃的假话，那是太过分了，太大胆了。只有真正希望你好的人才给你劝告，皮普，等你上楼睡觉时，你得在床上好好思索一下。我说的就是这些，老弟，以后千万别再讲假话了。”
后来我回到那间小房间里去做祷告时，头脑里没有忘记乔的谆谆劝导。但我幼稚的心中混乱一片，没法认真去思考。我躺到床上，久久不能入眠，胡思乱想着，认为埃斯苔娜一定会认为乔是多么粗俗平常的一个铁匠：靴子是多么笨重，手又是多么粗糙。我思忖着，乔和姐姐只能坐在厨房里，我在上楼睡觉之前也只能坐在厨房里，可是郝维仙小姐和埃斯苔娜永远也不会坐在厨房里。和我们这平常的情况相比，她们简直好上了天。我睡着了，可是迷糊之中，我还在回忆着郝维仙小姐家里总是怎样怎样的。虽然我只在她家待了几个小时，却好像过了几个星期、几个月一样；虽然所见所闻只不过是当天的事，却好像已经是陈年往事了。
这一天是我一生中都难以忘怀的，因为它使我的内心起了巨大的变化。任何人如果遇上这相似的经历也会是难忘的，谁都可以想象得出，谁能遇上这一个特别的日子，就会感到这一天过得是多么的不相同啊。你不妨暂停一下看书，思考一下。人生好比是一条长链，无论是金做的或是铁做的，无论是荆棘编成或是花卉织成，如果没有这具有纪念意义的一天中制作的第一环，你就不可能经历这样的一生。
Chapter 10
THE felicitous idea occurred to me a morning or two later when I woke, that the best step I could take towards making myself uncommon was to get out of Biddy everything she knew. In pursuance of this luminous conception I mentioned to Biddy when I went to Mr Wopsle's great-aunt's at night, that I had a particular reason for wishing to get on in life, and that I should feel very much obliged to her if she would impart all her learning to me. Biddy, who was the most obliging of girls, immediately said she would, and indeed began to carry out her promise within five minutes. 
The Educational scheme or Course established by Mr Wopsle's great-aunt may be resolved into the following synopsis. The pupils ate apples and put straws down one another's backs, until Mr Wopsle's great-aunt collected her energies, and made an indiscriminate totter at them with a birch-rod. After receiving the charge with every mark of derision, the pupils formed in line and buzzingly passed a ragged book from hand to hand. The book had an alphabet in it, some figures and tables, and a little spelling - that is to say, it had had once. As soon as this volume began to circulate, Mr Wopsle's great-aunt fell into a state of coma; arising either from sleep or a rheumatic paroxysm. The pupils then entered among themselves upon a competitive examination on the subject of Boots, with the view of ascertaining who could tread the hardest upon whose toes. This mental exercise lasted until Biddy made a rush at them and distributed three defaced Bibles (shaped as if they had been unskilfully cut off the chump-end of something), more illegibly printed at the best than any curiosities of literature I have since met with, speckled all over with ironmould, and having various specimens of the insect world smashed between their leaves. This part of the Course was usually lightened by several single combats between Biddy and refractory students. When the fights were over, Biddy gave out the number of a page, and then we all read aloud what we could - or what we couldn't - in a frightful chorus; Biddy leading with a high shrill monotonous voice, and none of us having the least notion of, or reverence for, what we were reading about. When this horrible din had lasted a certain time, it mechanically awoke Mr Wopsle's great-aunt, who staggered at a boy fortuitously, and pulled his ears. This was understood to terminate the Course for the evening, and we emerged into the air with shrieks of intellectual victory. It is fair to remark that there was no prohibition against any pupil's entertaining himself with a slate or even with the ink (when there was any), but that it was not easy to pursue that branch of study in the winter season, on account of the little general shop in which the classes were holden - and which was also Mr Wopsle's great-aunt's sitting-room and bed-chamber - being but faintly illuminated through the agency of one low-spirited dip-candle and no snuffers.
It appeared to me that it would take time, to become uncommon under these circumstances: nevertheless, I resolved to try it, and that very evening Biddy entered on our special agreement, by imparting some information from her little catalogue of Prices, under the head of moist sugar, and lending me, to copy at home, a large old English D which she had imitated from the heading of some newspaper, and which I supposed, until she told me what it was, to be a design for a buckle.
Of course there was a public-house in the village, and of course Joe liked sometimes to smoke his pipe there. I had received strict orders from my sister to call for him at the Three Jolly Bargemen, that evening, on my way from school, and bring him home at my peril. To the Three Jolly Bargemen, therefore, I directed my steps.
There was a bar at the Jolly Bargemen, with some alarmingly long chalk scores in it on the wall at the side of the door, which seemed to me to be never paid off. They had been there ever since I could remember, and had grown more than I had. But there was a quantity of chalk about our country, and perhaps the people neglected no opportunity of turning it to account.
It being Saturday night, I found the landlord looking rather grimly at these records, but as my business was with Joe and not with him, I merely wished him good evening, and passed into the common room at the end of the passage, where there was a bright large kitchen fire, and where Joe was smoking his pipe in company with Mr Wopsle and a stranger. Joe greeted me as usual with `Halloa, Pip, old chap!' and the moment he said that, the stranger turned his head and looked at me.
He was a secret-looking man whom I had never seen before. His head was all on one side, and one of his eyes was half shut up, as if he were taking aim at something with an invisible gun. He had a pipe in his mouth, and he took it out, and, after slowly blowing all his smoke away and looking hard at me all the time, nodded. So, I nodded, and then he nodded again, and made room on the settle beside him that I might sit down there.
But, as I was used to sit beside Joe whenever I entered that place of resort, I said `No, thank you, sir,' and fell into the space Joe made for me on the opposite settle. The strange man, after glancing at Joe, and seeing that his attention was otherwise engaged, nodded to me again when I had taken my seat, and then rubbed his leg - in a very odd way, as it struck me.
`You was saying,' said the strange man, turning to Joe, `that you was a blacksmith.'
`Yes. I said it, you know,' said Joe.
`What'll you drink, Mr - ? You didn't mention your name, by-the-bye.'
Joe mentioned it now, and the strange man called him by it. `What'll you drink, Mr Gargery? At my expense? To top up with?'
`Well,' said Joe, `to tell you the truth, I ain't much in the habit of drinking at anybody's expense but my own.'
`Habit? No,' returned the stranger, `but once and away, and on a Saturday night too. Come! Put a name to it, Mr Gargery.'
`I wouldn't wish to be stiff company,' said Joe. `Rum.'
`Rum,' repeated the stranger. `And will the other gentleman originate a sentiment.'
`Rum,' said Mr Wopsle.
`Three Rums!' cried the stranger, calling to the landlord. `Glasses round!'
`This other gentleman,' observed Joe, by way of introducing Mr Wopsle, `is a gentleman that you would like to hear give it out. Our clerk at church.'
`Aha!' said the stranger, quickly, and cocking his eye at me. `The lonely church, right out on the marshes, with graves round it!'
`That's it,' said Joe.
The stranger, with a comfortable kind of grunt over his pipe, put his legs up on the settle that he had to himself. He wore a flapping broad-brimmed traveller's hat, and under it a handkerchief tied over his head in the manner of a cap: so that he showed no hair. As he looked at the fire, I thought I saw a cunning expression, followed by a half-laugh, come into his face.
`I am not acquainted with this country, gentlemen, but it seems a solitary country towards the river.'
`Most marshes is solitary,' said Joe.
`No doubt, no doubt. Do you find any gipsies, now, or tramps, or vagrants of any sort, out there?'
`No,' said Joe; `none but a runaway convict now and then. And we don't find them, easy. Eh, Mr Wopsle?'
Mr Wopsle, with a majestic remembrance of old discomfiture, assented; but not warmly.
`Seems you have been out after such?' asked the stranger.
`Once,' returned Joe. `Not that we wanted to take them, you understand; we went out as lookers on; me, and Mr Wopsle, and Pip. Didn't us, Pip?'
`Yes, Joe.'
The stranger looked at me again - still cocking his eye, as if he were expressly taking aim at me with his invisible gun - and said, `He's a likely young parcel of bones that. What is it you call him?'
`Pip,' said Joe.
`Christened Pip?'
`No, not christened Pip.'
`Surname Pip?'
`No,' said Joe, `it's a kind of family name what he gave himself when a infant, and is called by.'
`Son of yours?'
`Well,' said Joe, meditatively - not, of course, that it could be in anywise necessary to consider about it, but because it was the way at the Jolly Bargemen to seem to consider deeply about everything that was discussed over pipes; `well - no. No, he ain't.'
`Nevvy?' said the strange man.
`Well,' said Joe, with the same appearance of profound cogitation, `he is not - no, not to deceive you, he is not - my nevvy.'
`What the Blue Blazes is he?' asked the stranger. Which appeared to me to be an inquiry of unnecessary strength.
Mr. Wopsle struck in upon that; as one who knew all about relationships, having professional occasion to bear in mind what female relations a man might not marry; and expounded the ties between me and Joe. Having his hand in, Mr Wopsle finished off with a most terrifically snarling passage from Richard the Third, and seemed to think he had done quite enough to account for it when he added, - `as the poet says.'
And here I may remark that when Mr Wopsle referred to me, he considered it a necessary part of such reference to rumple my hair and poke it into my eyes. I cannot conceive why everybody of his standing who visited at our house should always have put me through the same inflammatory process under similar circumstances. Yet I do not call to mind that I was ever in my earlier youth the subject of remark in our social family circle, but some large-handed person took some such ophthalmic steps to patronize me.
All this while, the strange man looked at nobody but me, and looked at me as if he were determined to have a shot at me at last, and bring me down. But he said nothing after offering his Blue Blazes observation, until the glasses of rum-and-water were brought; and then he made his shot, and a most extraordinary shot it was.
It was not a verbal remark, but a proceeding in dump show, and was pointedly addressed to me. He stirred his rum-and-water pointedly at me, and he tasted his rum-and-water pointedly at me. And he stirred it and he tasted it: not with a spoon that was brought to him, but with a file.
He did this so that nobody but I saw the file; and when he had done it he wiped the file and put it in a breast-pocket. I knew it to be Joe's file, and I knew that he knew my convict, the moment I saw the instrument. I sat gazing at him, spell-bound. But he now reclined on his settle, taking very little notice of me, and talking principally about turnips.
There was a delicious sense of cleaning-up and making a quiet pause before going on in life afresh, in our village on Saturday nights, which stimulated Joe to dare to stay out half an hour longer on Saturdays than at other times. The half hour and the rum-and-water running out together, Joe got up to go, and took me by the hand.
`Stop half a moment, Mr Gargery,' said the strange man. `I think I've got a bright new shilling somewhere in my pocket, and if I have, the boy shall have it.'
He looked it out from a handful of small change, folded it in some crumpled paper, and gave it to me. `Yours!' said he. `Mind!Your own.'
I thanked him, staring at him far beyond the bounds of good manners, and holding tight to Joe. He gave Joe good-night, and he gave Mr Wopsle good-night (who went out with us), and he gave me only a look with his aiming eye - no, not a look, for he shut it up, but wonders may be done with an eye by hiding it.
On the way home, if I had been in a humour for talking, the talk must have been all on my side, for Mr Wopsle parted from us at the door of the Jolly Bargemen, and Joe went all the way home with his mouth wide open, to rinse the rum out with as much air as possible. But I was in a manner stupefied by this turning up of my old misdeed and old acquaintance, and could think of nothing else.
My sister was not in a very bad temper when we presented ourselves in the kitchen, and Joe was encouraged by that unusual circumstance to tell her about the bright shilling. `A bad un, I'll be bound,' said Mrs Joe triumphantly, `or he wouldn't have given it to the boy! Let's look at it.'
I took it out of the paper, and it proved to be a good one. `But what's this?' said Mrs Joe, throwing down the shilling and catching up the paper. `Two One-Pound notes?'
Nothing less than two fat sweltering one-pound notes that seemed to have been on terms of the warmest intimacy with all the cattle markets in the county. Joe caught up his hat again, and ran with them to the Jolly Bargemen to restore them to their owner. While he was gone, I sat down on my usual stool and looked vacantly at my sister, feeling pretty sure that the man would not be there.
Presently, Joe came back, saying that the man was gone, but that he, Joe, had left word at the Three Jolly Bargemen concerning the notes. Then my sister sealed them up in a piece of paper, and put them under some dried rose-leaves in an ornamental tea-pot on the top of a press in the state parlour. There they remained, a nightmare to me, many and many a night and day.
I had sadly broken sleep when I got to bed, through thinking of the strange man taking aim at me with his invisible gun, and of the guiltily coarse and common thing it was, to be on secret terms of conspiracy with convicts - a feature in my low career that I had previously forgotten. I was haunted by the file too. A dread possessed me that when I least expected it, the file would reappear. I coaxed myself to sleep by thinking of Miss Havisham's, next Wednesday; and in my sleep I saw the file coming at me out of a door, without seeing who held it, and I screamed myself awake.
 
一两天后的一个早晨，我醒来时突然想到一个非常好的主意。我要使自己走向不平凡，最为上策的办法是去找毕蒂，学会她所知道的一切东西为自己所用。为了实现这一光辉的计划，当晚我就去到沃甫赛的姑婆所办的夜校，对毕蒂说，我有特殊的理由希望取得成功，只要她答应把所知道的全都教给我，我对她一定是非常感谢的。毕蒂是一位最厚道的姑娘，说到做到，而且在五分钟之内便开始实行她的诺言了。
由沃甫赛先生的姑婆所制订的教育计划，或者称为教育课程，可以归纳成下面的梗概：学生们先吃苹果，也可以把草塞到别人的背上，一直玩到沃甫赛先生的姑婆养足了精神，才在手中持一根桦树枝教鞭，迈着清一色的碎步向学生走来。学生们一见她来，先是装出各种各样嘲讽的鬼脸，然后便排成一队，嘁嘁喳喳地把一本破烂的书从一个人的手中传到另一个人的手中。这本书里有一张字母表、几张图画和什么表格，还有一些拼写练习。不过要补充一句，这些只是曾经有过的东西。这本书传了下去，沃甫赛先生的姑婆也随之进入了昏迷状态。这可能是由于想睡觉而引起，要么就是由于风湿病发作而引起的。这时，孩子们便开始了以靴子为主题的竞争，看谁的靴子踩别人的脚趾最疼。这一个所谓心智测验一直持续到毕蒂匆匆跑来才结束。她来分发三本残缺不全的《圣经》。这三本书的样子很吓人，就像是从木墩子上乱砍下来的，字迹印得难以辨认，比我见到过的任何文学精品都要模糊不清，上面全是斑斑点点的墨水渍，而且里面夹着各种各样的昆虫标本，都被压得扁扁的。接着，有几个难以管理的倔强学生和毕蒂发生了争斗，给课堂增添了活跃气氛。战斗一结束，毕蒂便布置读哪一页，然后我们就提高嗓门读起来。我们会读的当然在读，不会读的也在读，高高低低变成了一个又难听又吓人的大合唱。毕蒂领读的声音又高又尖又单调。我们谁都不知道自己在读什么，也对所读的东西毫不重视。这种令人讨厌的乱读持续了一会儿，在无意识中把沃甫赛先生的姑婆吵醒了。她摇摇摆摆地随便走到一个孩子的面前，把他的耳朵揪了一把。一揪耳朵就使大家明白，今天的学习结束了。于是我们便尖起嗓子高呼知识的胜利，然后冲到门外。不过，也得公平地说一句，如果有学生要努力学习是不会被禁止的。你可以用你的石板或钢笔学习，只要你有就行。不过在冬季里要想如此学习是很不容易的，因为在这间既要排上课桌椅当教室，又要作沃甫赛先生姑婆的起居室和卧室的小小店铺之中，只点着一根黯然神伤的蜡烛，又没有剪烛火的剪刀，光线极其微弱。
对我来说，在如此的条件下要想变得不平凡，是很花费时间的。不过，我决定还是试一下。就在当天晚上，毕蒂就开始着手履行我们的特殊协定。她先把她那小小的价格目录中绵糖一栏中的有关信息知识教给我，又借给我一个古体英语的大写“口’字，要我回家去描下来。那是她从一张报纸标题上临摹下来的，起初，我还以为是个钮扣的图案，她告诉我以后，我才知道它是什么。
自然，在我们村子里也有一家酒店，乔自然有时也喜欢到那里去抽他的烟斗。这天我放学后，在回家的路上接到我姐姐的严厉命令，要我到三个快乐船夫酒店去把乔叫回来，否则我就要对自己的行为负责。所以，我迈开双腿，直向三个快乐船夫酒店奔去。
在三个快乐船夫酒店里有一张吧台，靠门一边的那堵墙上用白垩写了一大串欠账的名单。在我看来，这些欠账似乎永远还不清。我记得从我懂事起，这些账目就写在上面了，而且不断长长，比我的个头长得还快。我们乡下白垩多得很，所以人们不会舍弃利用白垩的机会，把它都变成了写在墙上的欠账。
那是一个星期六的晚上，我看到酒店的老板用冷酷的眼光注视着那些欠账记录。既然我的任务是来找乔，和他没有关系，所以我只是说了一声祝他晚上好的话，便一直去到过道头上的那间酒厅。酒厅里面生着一大炉火，火光明亮。乔正在那里吸着烟斗，旁边是沃甫赛先生，还有一个不认识的人。乔像通常一样对我说：“你好，皮普，我的老弟！”正在他说话时，那位陌生人转过头来望着我。
这个人的脸上带着神秘的神色，过去我从来没有见过他。他的头向一边倾斜着，一只眼睛半睁半闭着，好像正在瞄准一枝无形的枪。他嘴里叼着一根烟斗，见到我，便把烟斗取出来，慢慢地把嘴里的烟雾吐出，然后紧紧地盯住我，向我点点头。我也向他点点头，接着他又向我点头，并且从他坐着的长靠背椅上让出点空间来给我坐。
但是，无论什么时候来到这种场合，我总是喜欢坐在乔的旁边，所以我对他说：“先生，不用了，谢谢。”于是我便坐在乔让给我的空处，在那长靠背椅的对面。这位我不认识的人注视了一下乔，发现乔的注意力被别处吸引着，于是在我坐好了后又对我点点头，然后便揉他的眼睛。那种揉眼的怪样子使我感到新奇。
“你刚才说，”这位陌生人转向乔说道，“你是一个铁匠？”
“不错，我说过我是铁匠。”乔说道。
“你想喝些什么，——先生？真抱歉，我不知道怎么称呼你。”
乔便告诉了他自己的姓名，陌生人便直呼其名地叫他。
“你想喝些什么，葛奇里先生？就让我来请客吧。让我们今日以酒来结束晚餐。”
乔答道：“多谢了，说老实话，我非常不习惯饮酒由别人付钱。我总是自己付酒钱。”
“习惯？今天就不要这习惯，”陌生人答道，“仅此一次，何况还是星期六晚上呢！葛奇里先生，点个酒名吧。”
“我不希望扫朋友的雅兴，”乔说道，“那就来朗姆酒吧。”
“朗姆酒，”陌生人重复了一遍，“另一位先生的意见呢？”
“朗姆酒。”沃甫赛先生说道。
“来三份朗姆酒！”陌生人对着老板大叫道，“要三只杯子！”
“这一位先生，”乔把沃甫赛先生介绍给陌生人道，“一定是你想认识的先生。他是我们教堂里的办事员。”
“啊哈！”陌生人迅速地膜了我一眼，说道，“就是那座教堂！孤零零的，坐落在沼泽地那边，四周尽是坟墓。”
“对。”乔说道。
这位陌生人用叼着烟斗的嘴发出一声像猪一样的哼声，然后把他的两条腿搁到由他独占的长靠背椅上。他头上戴了一顶阔边的旅行帽，帽下垫了一块手绢，当头巾包在头上，因此看不到他头上的头发。他看着炉火时，我发现他面孔上露出狡黠的表情，接着做出一种似笑非笑的样子。
“对于这个乡村我不熟悉，先生们，不过这似乎是一个孤寂的乡村，坐落在河的旁边。”
“沼泽地太多了，就显得荒寂。”乔说道。
“毫无疑问，毫无疑问。你是不是见过在那边有什么吉卜赛人，或者流浪汉，或者东飘西荡的那一类人呢？”
“没有，”乔答道，“不过有时会有一两个逃犯。要找到他们可是不容易啊，沃甫赛先生，你说呢？”
沃甫赛先生对于那次狼狈的经历仍记忆犹新，虽表示了同意，但一点儿也不热情。
“看上去你们还跟着去追捕过逃犯呢？”这位陌生人问道。
“有过一次，”乔答道，“当然我们不是去捉他们，你知道，我们只不过是到那里去看看。我去了，还有沃甫赛先生，还有皮普。皮普，是不是我们都去了？”
“不错，乔。”
这位陌生人又看了我一眼。他总是膘着看我，仿佛正端着一枝枪对我瞄准。他说道：“他倒是个有前途的孩子，虽然生得瘦小。刚才你叫他什么来着？”
“皮普。”乔答道。
“皮普是教名吗？”
“他的教名不是皮普。”
“那么皮普是姓喽？”
“也不是，”乔说道，“不过皮普和姓读起来很相像，这是他婴儿时代口齿不清造成的，以后也就叫白了。”
“他是你的儿子吗？”
“那——”乔答道，露出沉思的样子。当然，他并不是必须思考这一问题，而是因为坐在三个快乐船夫酒店中，一叼上烟斗，似乎就会沉思起所讨论的每一件事情。“那——不是。不是，他不是我的儿子。”
“是你的侄子？”陌生人又问道。
“那，”乔答道，仍然是一副沉思的神情，“他不是我侄儿，不，我绝不骗你，他不是——我的侄儿。”
“真活见鬼，他究竟是你的什么人？”陌生人问道。我听了他的话，感到他这种问话的腔调是完全没有必要的。
这时，沃甫赛先生便插进来了。他这个人对这里的各种亲戚关系了如指掌，这也是他的职业习惯，心中有一本谱，记得某男和某女有亲戚关系不可结婚等等。所以，他便解释了我和乔之间的关系。沃甫赛先生不仅插嘴解释了情况，而且在讲完后还朗诵了一段从《理查三世》中选来的台词。那种蛮喊蛮叫简直令人毛骨悚然。然后，他似乎觉得表演已经足够说明问题了，但没有忘记又补充了一句：“这是诗人莎士比亚说的。”
这里我有些事情需要说明一下，刚才沃甫赛先生谈论我时，他觉得还要有一个必须的动作，那就是乱揪乱摸我的头发，使头发都戳进我的眼睛。我无法弄清楚，为何像他如此有身份地位的人到我们家做客时，总是要寻找一个相似的机会乱弄一下我的头发，使得我两眼都红肿起来。只要我一回忆起已逝的童年时代，那一幕幕家庭社交圈子里发生的事便浮现在眼前，特别是某个慷慨的人用大手摸我，名义上是爱护我，其实是使我双眼红肿。这是我忘不掉的。
在整个这段时间里，那个陌生人除掉望着我之外什么人也不看。他看我的那个样子仿佛他终于下定决心对我瞄准，然后要置我于死地似的。刚才他骂了那句话见鬼的话后便不言语了，一直等到三杯兑水朗姆酒送上来。接着，他便开枪了。这可谓是非常特殊的一枪。
这一枪不是用语言射出来的，而是演了一幕哑剧，并且明明白白是对着我演的。他搅拌兑水朗姆酒也明明白白是对着我搅拌的；他尝了一口兑水朗姆酒也明明白白是对着我尝的。他一面搅拌，一面品尝着酒，不是用送来的汤匙，而是用一把锉子。
他的动作是别人看不到的，只有我才能看到那把锉子。他搅拌完酒后，把锉子拭干，装进衣服的胸袋之中。我认出那是乔的锉子。我明白他一定认识我遇见的那个犯人。现在，我看到了那把工具，坐在那里凝视着他，心神恍惚，而他则倚在那张长靠背椅上，再不睬我，却大谈特谈起萝卜。
每逢周末晚上，我们村子里就充满了一种令人愉悦的情感，到处被弄得干干净净。人们都要安安静静地休息一下，以迎接下一周的新生活。这也使乔有勇气敢于在星期六晚上在酒店里比平时多待半小时。今天，这半个小时和兑水朗姆酒都结束了，乔便起身告辞，拉着我的手向外走去。
“葛奇里先生，请稍等一下，”陌生人说道，“我想起在我的口袋里有一枚崭新发亮的先令，我想就送给这个孩子吧。”
他从掏出的一把零钱中找到这个先令，用一张皱巴巴的纸包好，然后才给我。“这是你的！”他说道，“记住！这是你自己的。”
我对他表示了谢意。虽然这已超过了礼貌的范围，可我仍是盯住他看，同时紧紧依偎在乔的身边。他对乔说了晚安，又对沃甫赛先生道了晚安（他正和我们一同离开），然而对我，他只是用瞄准的眼光扫了一下。也许，他的眼光根本就没有扫过我，因为他闭上了那只眼睛，不过，这一闭眼把千言万语都包藏其中了。
在回家的路上，即使我有兴趣谈些什么，也只能是独自一人自谈自说，因为一出三个快乐船夫酒店的大门，沃甫赛先生便和我们告别而去，而乔一路上都把他的嘴张得大大的，尽可能地用吸进的空气把朗姆酒的气味洗涮干净。我现在的思想茫无头绪，因为心里又翻腾起过去的错误行为，映出了老相识的影子，自然也不可能再想其他的东西。
我们走进了厨房。今天倒不错，我姐姐没有大发雷霆，乔也因为这件不寻常的事大着胆子把那枚崭新发亮的先令的来历详详细细地告诉了她。“我敢担保这是假先令，”乔夫人得胜似的说道，“要是真先令他就不会给一个孩子了。拿来让我看看。”
我把纸包打开，从中拿出先令。这确实是一枚真的先令。“这是什么？”我姐姐说道，随手放下先令，把纸包翻开来一看。“两张一英镑的钞票？”
确实是两张一英镑的钞票，油腻腻、热乎乎的，好像和这里乡下的牲畜市场有过非常亲密的交情。乔这时又戴上他的帽子，拿起这两张钞票向三个快乐船夫酒店跑去，想把钱还给那个人。乔走后我便坐在我惯坐的那张小凳子上，失魂落魄地望着我姐姐，心里有一个念头，就是那个人早不在那里了。
不一会儿乔就口来了，说那个人也已离开了，不过关于这两张钞票，乔已经在三个快乐船夫酒家留了言。然后，我姐姐就用一张纸把钞票包好，又封得严严密密，放在客厅一张柜子顶上的茶壶里。这个茶壶是当装饰品用的，把钱放进去后她又将一些干玫瑰花瓣铺在上面。这以后它们便成了噩梦之魇，多少个日日夜夜缠住我不得安心。
我躺在床上无法成眠，那个陌生人总在我心头出现，他用一枚无形的枪在瞄准着我；还有我那件下贱的犯罪行为，和一个逃犯私下来往。我想这件事虽小，对我这个刚开始涉世的小人来说却可谓大事，而这大事居然在今天的事发生前被我忘记了。现在，这把锉子又鬼魂般地出现。我想这恐怖随时会缠住我，锉子还会重现。为了诱使自己入眠，我便想着下星期三到郝维仙小姐家里的事。然后，我真的进入了睡乡，不过在迷糊之中，我看到锉子从门口伸了进来，还没有看到拿锉子的人是谁，我便大叫一声惊醒了。
Chapter 11
AT the appointed time I returned to Miss Havisham's, and my hesitating ring at the gate brought out Estella. She locked it after admitting me, as she had done before, and again preceded me into the dark passage where her candle stood. She took no notice of me until she had the candle in her hand, when she looked over her shoulder, superciliously saying, `You are to come this way today,' and took me to quite another part of the house. 
The passage was a long one, and seemed to pervade the whole square basement of the Manor House. We traversed but one side of the square, however, and at the end of it she stopped, and put her candle down and opened a door. Here, the daylight reappeared, and I found myself in a small paved court-yard, the opposite side of which was formed by a detached dwelling-house, that looked as if it had once belonged to the manager or head clerk of the extinct brewery. There was a clock in the outer wall of this house. Like the clock in Miss Havisham's room, and like Miss Havisham's watch, it had stopped at twenty minutes to nine.
We went in at the door, which stood open, and into a gloomy room with a low ceiling, on the ground floor at the back. There was some company in the room, and Estella said to me as she joined it, `You are to go and stand there, boy, till you are wanted.' `There', being the window, I crossed to it, and stood `there,' in a very uncomfortable state of mind, looking out.
It opened to the ground, and looked into a most miserable corner of the neglected garden, upon a rank ruin of cabbage-stalks, and one box tree that had been clipped round long ago, like a pudding, and had a new growth at the top of it, out of shape and of a different colour, as if that part of the pudding had stuck to the saucepan and got burnt. This was my homely thought, as I contemplated the box-tree. There had been some light snow, overnight, and it lay nowhere else to my knowledge; but, it had not quite melted from the cold shadow of this bit of garden, and the wind caught it up in little eddies and threw it at the window, as if it pelted me for coming there.
I divined that my coming had stopped conversation in the room, and that its other occupants were looking at me. I could see nothing of the room except the shining of the fire in the window glass, but I stiffened in all my joints with the consciousness that I was under close inspection.
There were three ladies in the room and one gentleman. Before I had been standing at the window five minutes, they somehow conveyed to me that they were all toadies and humbugs, but that each of them pretended not to know that the others were toadies and humbugs: because the admission that he or she did know it, would have made him or her out to be a toady and humbug.
They all had a listless and dreary air of waiting somebody's pleasure, and the most talkative of the ladies had to speak quite rigidly to repress a yawn. This lady, whose name was Camilla, very much reminded me of my sister, with the difference that she was older, and (as I found when I caught sight of her) of a blunter cast of features. Indeed, when I knew her better I began to think it was a Mercy she had any features at all, so very blank and high was the dead wall of her face.
`Poor dear soul!' said this lady, with an abruptness of manner quite my sister's. `Nobody's enemy but his own!'
`It would be much more commendable to be somebody else's enemy,' said the gentleman; `far more natural.'
`Cousin Raymond,' observed another lady, `we are to love our neighbour.'
`Sarah Pocket,' returned Cousin Raymond, `if a man is not his own neighbour, who is?'
Miss Pocket laughed, and Camilla laughed and said (checking a yawn), `The idea!' But I thought they seemed to think it rather a good idea too. The other lady, who had not spoken yet, said gravely and emphatically, `Very true!'
`Poor soul!' Camilla presently went on (I knew they had all been looking at me in the mean time), `he is so very strange!Would anyone believe that when Tom's wife died, he actually could not be induced to see the importance of the children's having the deepest of trimmings to their mourning? "Good Lord!" says he, "Camilla, what can it signify so long as the poor bereaved little things are in black?" So like Matthew! The idea!'
`Good points in him, good points in him,' said Cousin Raymond; `Heaven forbid I should deny good points in him; but he never had, and he never will have, any sense of the proprieties.'
`You know I was obliged,' said Camilla, `I was obliged to be firm. I said, "It WILL NOT DO, for the credit of the family." I told him that, without deep trimmings, the family was disgraced. I cried about it from breakfast till dinner. I injured my digestion. And at last he flung out in his violent way, and said, with a D, "Then do as you like." Thank Goodness it will always be a consolation to me to know that I instantly went out in a pouring rain and bought the things.'
`He paid for them, did he not?' asked Estella.
`It's not the question, my dear child, who paid for them,' returned Camilla. `I bought them. And I shall often think of that with peace, when I wake up in the night.'
The ringing of a distant bell, combined with the echoing of some cry or call along the passage by which I had come, interrupted the conversation and caused Estella to say to me, `Now, boy!' On my turning round, they all looked at me with the utmost contempt, and, as I went out, I heard Sarah Pocket say, `Well I am sure!What next!' and Camilla add, with indignation, `Was there ever such a fancy! The i-de-a!'
As we were going with our candle along the dark passage, Estella stopped all of a sudden, and, facing round, said in her taunting manner with her face quite close to mine:
`Well?'
`Well, miss?' I answered, almost falling over her and checking myself.
She stood looking at me, and, of course, I stood looking at her.
`Am I pretty?'
`Yes; I think you are very pretty.'
`Am I insulting?'
`Not so much so as you were last time,' said I.
`Not so much so?'
`No.'
She fired when she asked the last question, and she slapped my face with such force as she had, when I answered it.
`Now?' said she. `You little coarse monster, what do you think of me now?'
`I shall not tell you.'
`Because you are going to tell, up-stairs. It that it?'
`No,' said I, `that's not it.'
`Why don't you cry again, you little wretch?'
`Because I'll never cry for you again,' said I. Which was, I suppose, as false a declaration as ever was made; for I was inwardly crying for her then, and I know what I know of the pain she cost me afterwards.
We went on our way up-stairs after this episode; and, as we were going up, we met a gentleman groping his way down.
`Whom have we here?' asked the gentleman, stopping and looking at me.
`A boy,' said Estella.
He was a burly man of an exceedingly dark complexion, with an exceedingly large head and a corresponding large hand. He took my chin in his large hand and turned up my face to have a look at me by the light of the candle. He was prematurely bald on the top of his head, and had bushy black eyebrows that wouldn't lie down but stood up bristling. His eyes were set very deep in his head, and were disagreeably sharp and suspicious. He had a large watchchain, and strong black dots where his beard and whiskers would have been if he had let them. He was nothing to me, and I could have had no foresight then, that he ever would be anything to me, but it happened that I had this opportunity of observing him well.
`Boy of the neighbourhood? Hey?' said he.
`Yes, sir,' said I.
`How do you come here?'
`Miss Havisham sent for me, sir,' I explained.
`Well! Behave yourself. I have a pretty large experience of boys, and you're a bad set of fellows. Now mind!' said he, biting the side of his great forefinger as he frowned at me, `you behave yourself!'
With those words, he released me - which I was glad of, for his hand smelt of scented soap - and went his way down-stairs. I wondered whether he could be a doctor; but no, I thought; he couldn't be a doctor, or he would have a quieter and more persuasive manner. There was not much time to consider the subject, for we were soon in Miss Havisham's room, where she and everything else were just as I had left them. Estella left me standing near the door, and I stood there until Miss Havisham cast her eyes upon me from the dressing-table.
`So!' she said, without being startled or surprised; `the days have worn away, have they?'
`Yes, ma'am. To-day is--'
`There, there, there!' with the impatient movement of her fingers. `I don't want to know. Are you ready to play?'
I was obliged to answer in some confusion, `I don't think I am, ma'am.'
`Not at cards again?' she demanded, with a searching look.
`Yes, ma'am; I could do that, if I was wanted.'
`Since this house strikes you old and grave, boy,' said Miss Havisham, impatiently, `and you are unwilling to play, are you willing to work?'
I could answer this inquiry with a better heart than I had been able to find for the other question, and I said I was quite willing.
`Then go into that opposite room,' said she, pointing at the door behind me with her withered hand, `and wait there till I come.'
I crossed the staircase landing, and entered the room she indicated. From that room, too, the daylight was completely excluded, and it had an airless smell that was oppressive. A fire had been lately kindled in the damp old-fashioned grate, and it was more disposed to go out than to burn up, and the reluctant smoke which hung in the room seemed colder than the clearer air - like our own marsh mist. Certain wintry branches of candles on the high chimneypiece faintly lighted the chamber: or, it would be more expressive to say, faintly troubled its darkness. It was spacious, and I dare say had once been handsome, but every discernible thing in it was covered with dust and mould, and dropping to pieces. The most prominent object was a long table with a tablecloth spread on it, as if a feast had been in preparation when the house and the clocks all stopped together. An épergne or centrepiece of some kind was in the middle of this cloth; it was so heavily overhung with cobwebs that its form was quite undistinguishable; and, as I looked along the yellow expanse out of which I remember its seeming to grow, like a black fungus, I saw speckled-legged spiders with blotchy bodies running home to it, and running out from it, as if some circumstances of the greatest public importance had just transpired in the spider community.
I heard the mice too, rattling behind the panels, as if the same occurrence were important to their interests. But, the blackbeetles took no notice of the agitation, and groped about the hearth in a ponderous elderly way, as if they were short-sighted and hard of hearing, and not on terms with one another.
These crawling things had fascinated my attention and I was watching them from a distance, when Miss Havisham laid a hand upon my shoulder. In her other hand she had a crutch-headed stick on which she leaned, and she looked like the Witch of the place.
`This,' said she, pointing to the long table with her stick, `is where I will be laid when I am dead. They shall come and look at me here.'
With some vague misgiving that she might get upon the table then and there and die at once, the complete realization of the ghastly waxwork at the Fair, I shrank under her touch.
`What do you think that is?' she asked me, again pointing with her stick; `that, where those cobwebs are?'
`I can't guess what it is, ma'am.'
`It's a great cake. A bride-cake. Mine!'
She looked all round the room in a glaring manner, and then said, leaning on me while her hand twitched my shoulder, `Come, come, come! Walk me, walk me!'
I made out from this, that the work I had to do, was to walk Miss Havisham round and round the room. Accordingly, I stated at once, and she leaned upon my shoulder, and we went away at a pace that might have been an imitation (founded on my first impulse under that roof) of Mr Pumblechook's chaise-cart.
She was not physically strong, and after a little time said, `Slower!' Still, we went at an impatient fitful speed, and as we went, she twitched the hand upon my shoulder, and worked her mouth, and led me to believe that we were going fast because her thoughts went fast. After a while she said, `Call Estella!' so I went out on the landing and roared that name as I had done on the previous occasion. When her light appeared, I returned to Miss Havisham, and we started away again round and round the room.
If only Estella had come to be a spectator of our proceedings, I should have felt sufficiently discontented; but, as she brought with her the three ladies and the gentleman whom I had seen below, I didn't know what to do. In my politeness, I would have stopped; but, Miss Havisham twitched my shoulder, and we posted on - with a shame-faced consciousness on my part that they would think it was all my doing.
`Dear Miss Havisham,' said Miss Sarah Pocket. `How well you look!'
`I do not,' returned Miss Havisham. `I am yellow skin and bone.'
Camilla brightened when Miss Pocket met with this rebuff; and she murmured, as she plaintively contemplated Miss Havisham, `Poor dear soul!' Certainly not to be expected to look well, poor thing. The idea!'
`And how are you?' said Miss Havisham to Camilla. As we were close to Camilla then, I would have stopped as a matter of course, only Miss Havisham wouldn't stop. We swept on, and I felt that I was highly obnoxious to Camilla.
`Thank you, Miss Havisham,' she returned, `I am as well as can be expected.'
`Why, what's the matter with you?' asked Miss Havisham, with exceeding sharpness.
`Nothing worth mentioning,' replied Camilla. `I don't wish to make a display of my feelings, but I have habitually thought of you more in the night than I am quite equal to.'
`Then don't think of me,' retorted Miss Havisham.
`Very easily said!' remarked Camilla, amiably repressing a sob, while a hitch came into her upper lip, and her tears overflowed. `Raymond is a witness what ginger and sal volatile I am obliged to take in the night. Raymond is a witness what nervous jerkings I have in my legs. Chokings and nervous jerkings, however, are nothing new to me when I think with anxiety of those I love. If I could be less affectionate and sensitive, I should have a better digestion and an iron set of nerves. I am sure I wish to could be so. But as to not thinking of you in the night - The idea!' Here, a burst of tears.
The Raymond referred to, I understood to be the gentleman present, and him I understood to be Mr Camilla. He came to the rescue at this point, and said in a consolatory and complimentary voice, `Camilla, my dear, it is well known that your family feelings are gradually undermining you to the extent of making one of your legs shorter than the other.'
`I am not aware,' observed the grave lady whose voice I had heard but once, `that to think of any person is to make a great claim upon that person, my dear.'
Miss Sarah Pocket, whom I now saw to be a little dry brown corrugated old woman, with a small face that might have been made of walnut shells, and a large mouth like a cat's without the whiskers, supported this position by saying, `No, indeed, my dear. Hem!'
`Thinking is easy enough,' said the grave lady.
`What is easier, you know?' assented Miss Sarah Pocket.
`Oh, yes, yes!' cried Camilla, whose fermenting feelings appeared to rise from her legs to her bosom. `It's all very true! It's a weakness to be so affectionate, but I can't help it. No doubt my health would be much better if it was otherwise, still I wouldn't change my disposition if I could. It's the cause of much suffering, but it's a consolation to know I posses it, when I wake up in the night.' Here another burst of feeling.
Miss Havisham and I had never stopped all this time, but kept going round and round the room: now, brushing against the skirts of the visitors: now, giving them the whole length of the dismal chamber.
`There's Matthew!' said Camilla. `Never mixing with any natural ties, never coming here to see how Miss Havisham is! I have taken to the sofa with my staylace cut, and have lain there hours, insensible, with my head over the side, and my hair all down, and my feet I don't know where--'
(`Much higher than your head, my love,' said Mr Camilla.)
`I have gone off into that state, hours and hours, on account of Matthew's strange and inexplicable conduct, and nobody has thanked me.'
`Really I must say I should think not!' interposed the grave lady.
`You see, my dear,' added Miss Sarah Pocket (a blandly vicious personage), `the question to put to yourself is, who did you expect to thank you, my love?'
`Without expecting any thanks, or anything of the sort,' resumed Camilla, `I have remained in that state, hours and hours, and Raymond is a witness of the extent to which I have choked, and what the total inefficacy of ginger has been, and I have been heard at the pianoforte-tuner's across the street, where the poor mistaken children have even supposed it to be pigeons cooing at a distance-and now to be told--' Here Camilla put her hand to her throat, and began to be quite chemical as to the formation of new combinations there.
When this same Matthew was mentioned, Miss Havisham stopped me and herself, and stood looking at the speaker. This change had a great influence in bringing Camilla's chemistry to a sudden end.
`Matthew will come and see me at last,' said Miss Havisham, sternly, when I am laid on that table. That will be his place - there,' striking the table with her stick, `at my head! And yours will be there! And your husband's there! And Sarah Pocket's there! And Georgiana's there! Now you all know where to take your stations when you come to feast upon me. And now go!'
At the mention of each name, she had struck the table with her stick in a new place. She now said, `Walk me, walk me!' and we went on again.
`I suppose there's nothing to be done,' exclaimed Camilla, `but comply and depart. It's something to have seen the object of one's love and duty, for even so short a time. I shall think of it with a melancholy satisfaction when I wake up in the night. I wish Matthew could have that comfort, but he sets it at defiance. I am determined not to make a display of my feelings, but it's very hard to be told one wants to feast on one's relations - as if one was a Giant - and to be told to go. The bare idea!'
Mr Camilla interposing, as Mrs Camilla laid her hand upon her heaving bosom, that lady assumed an unnatural fortitude of manner which I supposed to be expressive of an intention to drop and choke when out of view, and kissing her hand to Miss Havisham, was escorted forth. Sarah Pocket and Georgiana contended who should remain last; but, Sarah was too knowing to be outdone, and ambled round Georgiana with that artful slipperiness, that the latter was obliged to take precedence. Sarah Pocket then made her separate effect of departing with `Bless you, Miss Havisham dear!' and with a smile of forgiving pity on her walnut-shell countenance for the weaknesses of the rest.
While Estella was away lighting them down, Miss Havisham still walked with her hand on my shoulder, but more and more slowly. At last she stopped before the fire, and said, after muttering and looking at it some seconds:
`This is my birthday, Pip.'
I was going to wish her many happy returns, when she lifted her stick.
`I don't suffer it to be spoken of. I don't suffer those who were here just now, or any one, to speak of it. They come here on the day, but they dare not refer to it.'
Of course I made no further effort to refer to it.
`On this day of the year, long before you were born, this heap of decay,' stabbing with her crutched stick at the pile of cobwebs on the table but not touching it, `was brought here. It and I have worn away together. The mice have gnawed at it, and sharper teeth than teeth of mice have gnawed at me.'
She held the head of her stick against her heart as she stood looking at the table; she in her once white dress, all yellow and withered; the once white cloth all yellow and withered; everything around, in a state to crumble under a touch.
`When the ruin is complete,' said she, with a ghastly look, `and when they lay me dead, in my bride's dress on the bride's table - which shall be done, and which will be the finished curse upon him - so much the better if it is done on this day!'
She stood looking at the table as if she stood looking at her own figure lying there. I remained quiet. Estella returned, and she too remained quiet. It seemed to me that we continued thus for a long time. In the heavy air of the room, and the heavy darkness that brooded in its remoter corners, I even had an alarming fancy that Estella and I might presently begin to decay.
At length, not coming out of her distraught state by degrees, but in an instant, Miss Havisham said, `Let me see you two play cards; why have you not begun?' With that, we returned to her room, and sat down as before; I was beggared, as before; and again, as before, Miss Havisham watched us all the time, directed my attention to Estella's beauty, and made me notice it the more by trying her jewels on Estella's breast and hair.
Estella, for her part, likewise treated me as before; except that she did not condescend to speak. When we had played some halfdozen games, a day was appointed for my return, and I was taken down into the yard to be fed in the former dog-like manner. There, too, I was again left to wander about as I liked.
It is not much to the purpose whether a gate in that garden wall which I had scrambled up to peep over on the last occasion was, on that last occasion, open or shut. Enough that I saw no gate them, and that I saw one now. As it stood open, and as I knew that Estella had let the visitors out - for, she had returned with the keys in her hand - I strolled into the garden and strolled all over it. It was quite a wilderness, and there were old melon-frames and cucumber-frames in it, which seemed in their decline to have produced a spontaneous growth of weak attempts at pieces of old hats and boots, with now and then a weedy offshoot into the likeness of a battered saucepan.
When I had exhausted the garden, and a greenhouse with nothing in it but a fallen-down grape-vine and some bottles, I found myself in the dismal corner upon which I had looked out of window.Never questioning for a moment that the house was now empty, I looked in at another window, and found myself, to my great surprise, exchanging a broad stare with a pale young gentleman with red eyelids and light hair.
This pale young gentleman quickly disappeared, and re-appeared beside me. He had been at his books when I had found myself staring at him, and I now saw that he was inky.
`Halloa!' said he, `young fellow!'
Halloa being a general observation which I had usually observed to be best answered by itself, I said, `Halloa!' politely omitting young fellow.
`Who let you in?' said he.
`Miss Estella.'
`Who gave you leave to prowl about?'
`Miss Estella.'
`Come and fight,' said the pale young gentleman.
What could I do but follow him? I have often asked myself the question since: but, what else could I do? His manner was so final and I was so astonished, that I followed where he led, as if I had been under a spell.
`Stop a minute, though,' he said, wheeling round before we had gone many paces. `I ought to give you a reason for fighting, too. There it is!' In a most irritating manner he instantly slapped his hands against one another, daintily flung one of his legs up behind him, pulled my hair, slapped his hands again, dipped his head, and butted it into my stomach.
The bull-like proceeding last mentioned, besides that it was unquestionably to be regarded in the light of a liberty, was particularly disagreeable just after bread and meat. I therefore hit out at him and was going to hit out again, when he said, `Aha!Would you?' and began dancing backwards and forwards in a manner quite unparalleled within my limited experience.
`Laws of the game!' said he. Here, he skipped from his left leg on to his right. `Regular rules!' Here, he skipped from his right leg on to his left. `Come to the ground, and go through the preliminaries!' Here, he dodged backwards and forwards, and did all sorts of things while I looked helplessly at him.
I was secretly afraid of him when I saw him so dexterous; but, I felt morally and physically convinced that his light head of hair could have had no business in the pit of my stomach, and that I had a right to consider it irrelevant when so obtruded on my attention. Therefore, I followed him without a word, to a retired nook of the garden, formed by the junction of two walls and screened by some rubbish. On his asking me if I was satisfied with the ground, and on my replying Yes, he begged my leave to absent himself for a moment, and quickly returned with a bottle of water and a sponge dipped in vinegar. `Available for both,' he said, placing these against the wall. And then fell to pulling off, not only his jacket and waistcoat, but his shirt too, in a manner at once light-hearted, businesslike, and bloodthirsty.
Although he did not look very healthy - having pimples on his face, and a breaking out at his mouth - these dreadful preparations quite appalled me. I judged him to be about my own age, but he was much taller, and he had a way of spinning himself about that was full of appearance. For the rest, he was a young gentleman in a grey suit (when not denuded for battle), with his elbows, knees, wrists, and heels, considerably in advance of the rest of him as to development.
My heart failed me when I saw him squaring at me with every demonstration of mechanical nicety, and eyeing my anatomy as if he were minutely choosing his bone. I never have been so surprised in my life, as I was when I let out the first blow, and saw him lying on his back, looking up at me with a bloody nose and his face exceedingly fore-shortened.
But, he was on his feet directly, and after sponging himself with a great show of dexterity began squaring again. The second greatest surprise I have ever had in my life was seeing him on his back again, looking up at me out of a black eye.
His spirit inspired me with great respect. He seemed to have no strength, and he never once hit me hard, and he was always knocked down; but, he would be up again in a moment, sponging himself or drinking out of the water-bottle, with the greatest satisfaction in seconding himself according to form, and then came at me with an air and a show that made me believe he really was going to do for me at last. He got heavily bruised, for I am sorry to record that the more I hit him, the harder I hit him; but, he came up again and again and again, until at last he got a bad fall with the back of his head against the wall. Even after that crisis in our affairs, he got up and turned round and round confusedly a few times, not knowing where I was; but finally went on his knees to his sponge and threw it up: at the same time panting out, `That means you have won.'
He seemed to brave and innocent, that although I had not proposed the contest I felt but a gloomy satisfaction in my victory. Indeed, I go so far as to hope that I regarded myself while dressing, as a species of savage young wolf, or other wild beast. However, I got dressed, darkly wiping my sanguinary face at intervals, and I said, `Can I help you?' and he said `No thankee,' and I said `Good afternoon,' and he said `Same to you.'
When I got into the court-yard, I found Estella waiting with the keys. But, she neither asked me where I had been, nor why I had kept her waiting; and there was a bright flush upon her face, as though something had happened to delight her. Instead of going straight to the gate, too, she stepped back into the passage, and beckoned me.
`Come here! You may kiss me, if you like.'
I kissed her cheek as she turned it to me. I think I would have gone through a great deal to kiss her cheek. But, I felt that the kiss was given to the coarse common boy as a piece of money might have been, and that it was worth nothing.
What with the birthday visitors, and what with the cards, and what with the fight, my stay had lasted so long, that when I neared home the light on the spit of sand off the point on the marshes was gleaming against a black night-sky, and Joe's furnace was flinging a path of fire across the road.
 
我在约定的时间到了郝维仙小姐的家门口，犹犹豫豫地按了铃。埃斯苔娜走了出来，打开门锁让我进去，然后像上次一样又锁上门，带我去到那个放着蜡烛的过道。一开始，她根本就不理我，一直到她拿起了蜡烛，才转过头来，十分傲慢地说道：“今天你从这条路走。”于是她便带我走向这所大房子的另一处地方。
这是一条很长的通道，看上去似乎绕遍了整座正方形的宅邸。我们只走完了正方形的一边，在顶头的地方她停住脚，放下蜡烛，打开了一扇门。这时，阳光又重新出现，我发现自己进入了一个铺着石板的小小庭院，院子的对面是一幢独立的住宅。我想这房子可能是早已停产的制酒作坊原先的经理或管事居住的地方。在这所房子的外墙上悬挂着一只钟。这只钟和郝维仙小姐房里的钟一样，也和郝维仙小姐的表一样，指针停在八时四十分上。
门大开着，我们走了进去。这是一个阴沉昏暗的房间，位于房子底层的后部，而且天花板很低。房里有几个人，埃斯苔娜走到他们那里后，对我说：“小孩，你走到那里去，站在那儿，等有人叫你时再进去。”她说的“那儿”是指窗子。于是我走了过去，站在“那儿”，心里很不高兴地看着外面。
这扇落地长自从顶到底全部打开着，望出去是已荒废掉的花园里一处最凄凉的角落。那里全是白菜梗子，还有一棵黄杨树，已经有很长一段时间没有修剪了，活像一块布了。树顶有一簇新长出的叶子，不仅样子难看，连颜色似乎也和原色不同，好像这布了在小锅里烤时有一处粘在锅底被烤焦了一样。当然，这是我在观看黄杨树时所想到的，是我朴实无邪的想法。我知道昨天夜里有过一场小雪，不过任何地方都没有看到积雪。可是在这花园里的这一小块寒冷阴湿之处，却积着未融化的白雪。寒风吹来，一阵雪花从地上卷起，沙沙地打在窗子上，好像在狠狠地斥责我，不该来到这个鬼地方。
我的猜测一点不假，我一走进屋便使屋子中的人都停止了谈话，而且都一起细瞧着我。房中的景象除了映照在窗上的熊熊炉火，其他什么东西我都看不见。但我意识到自己处于众目睽睽之下，全身的关节都僵硬得动弹不得。
屋中有三位女上和一位男土。我站在那扇窗边也不过才五分钟，便从他们那里获得一种印象，即他们全都是马屁精和骗子。不过，他们都装模作样，好像不知道别人是马屁精和骗子，因为，无论他或她只要戳穿对方是吹牛拍马之徒，那无疑也就是承认了他或她自己也是一个马屁精和骗子。
他们都在这里等待着某个人的光荣接见，现在已等得不耐烦了，显出无精打采和疲倦的样子。最健谈的一位女士不得不找些话讲讲，以此来强使自己不打呵欠。这位女士的名字是卡美拉，一见到她便使我想起我的姐姐。要说两者有什么不同，那就是她年长了几岁，而且（我一眼便瞧了出来）长着一副更加粗鲁愚钝的面孔。说实在话，等我看得更清楚一些，我不得不认为她这副面孔简直是一堵死墙，既无门窗，又显得很高，她的面孔有那么点儿特征已经算是她走运了。
“真是可怜的好人！”这位夫人说道，一开口就是这种没有礼貌的态度，和我的姐姐没有两样。“他不与任何人为敌，除了他自己。”
“我看最好还是与人为敌，”那位先生说道，“这样才顺乎自然。”
“雷蒙德表弟，”另一位夫人说道，“我们都应当爱护别人。”
“莎娜•鄱凯特，”这位雷蒙德表弟答道，“如果一个人连他自己也不爱护，你叫他去爱护谁呢？”
鄱凯特小姐笑了。卡美拉也笑了，并且尽量抑制住自己的呵欠说道：“真是高见！”我想他们也许真的把这当成高见了。还有一位尚未开过口的妇女这时也认认真真、煞有介事地说道：“确是高见！”
“真是个可怜的人！”卡美拉随即又说下去。我知道在这段时间里他们一直都望着我。“他真古怪！汤姆的妻子死时，他不听别人的劝告，就是不明白该让孩子们穿上重孝服。现在谈起这件事又有谁相信呢？他甚至还说：‘上天之主啊！卡美拉，这些可怜的小东西已经丧失了亲人，穿上黑孝服又有什么意思呢？’马休就是这样！这就是他的想法。”
“他有他的优点，他有他的优点，”雷蒙德表弟说道，“我要是不承认他的优点，老天也会责怪我的。不过，他总是不合时宜，永远也不会顺乎潮流。”
“你知道，我是下定决心的，”卡美拉说道，“一定得坚持到底。我说： ‘为了一个家庭的名声，我不能像你那样干。’我告诉他，如果不戴重孝，家庭的名誉就会给丢尽了。我从早饭就开始大吵大闹，一直吵闹到吃晚饭，吵得胃都发痛，没法消化。最后，他也发了火，赌咒地说道：‘那么你高兴怎样干就怎么干。’于是，我立刻冒了倾盆大雨去购置重孝衣物。真谢天谢地，我总算办成这件事，对我也是一个安慰。”
“钱是他付的，对吗？”埃斯苔娜问道。
“我亲爱的小姑娘，问题不在于究竟是谁付钱，”卡美拉答道，“东西是我买来的。夜里我醒来，常常想到这件事，内心也感到心安理得。”
远处响起了铃声，沿着我刚才走来的那条过道传到这里，铃声中还混杂着一个人的喊声，打断了这里的谈话。埃斯苔娜这时对我说：“小孩，现在你可以去了。”在我转身的时候，他们全部都以最蔑视的眼光看着我。我走出门后还听到莎娜•鄱凯特说：“啊呀，怎么会是这样！还有比这事更奇怪的么？”接着卡美拉也补充道：“这真是奇谈怪事！闻所未闻！”语气之间充满了愤恨。
埃斯苔娜拿着蜡烛，我们沿着黑暗的过道走着。突然，埃斯苔娜停了下来，转过头，把脸紧贴着我的脸，用嘲弄的语气对我说道：
“哎？”
“哎，小姐。”我回答道，几乎撞到她身上，连忙控制住身子。
她站在那里望着我，自然，我也只能站在那里望着她。
“我生得漂亮吗？”
“漂亮，我觉得你非常漂亮。”
“我无札么？”
“不像上次那样无礼。”我说道。
“没上一次那样无礼？”
“没有。
她问我最后一个问题时，火气已经上冲了。当我回答时，她便使出全身的力量打了我一个耳光。
“现在怎么样？”她说道，“你这个粗野的小妖怪，现在你对我怎么想的？”
“我不告诉你。”
“因为你想到楼上去告发我，是不是那回事？”
“不是，”我说道，“不是那回事。”
“这会儿你为什么不哭，你这个小坏蛋？”
“因为今后我不会再为你哭了。”我说道。其实这又是一个天大的谎言，因为在我内心的深处又在为了她偷偷哭泣，而且我了解到了她后来所给予我的、令我深有体会的痛苦。
这一段插曲以后，我们便登上楼梯。我们正在向上走时，遇到了一位正摸着黑向下走的先生。
“这个人是谁？”这位先生停下来望着我。
“一个孩子。”埃斯苔娜答道。
这是个结实健壮的汉子，面色非常黑，生了一个大得出奇的头，还配了一双大得出奇的手。他用那只大手抓住我的下巴，把我的面孔仰起来，借着烛光对我仔细端详。他的头顶已经秃了，表现出未老先衰的样子，大黑眉像小灌木丛，根根竖直，一根也不愿意倒伏。他的两颗眼珠深深地陷进去，充满怀疑的神色，一看就令人不愉快。他身上挂着一串大表链，满脸都是胡子茬。要是他留起来，一定是个大胡子。我和他毫无关系，根本也想不到他将来会和我有什么关系，但既然今日相遇，我也就趁着这机会对他观察了一番。
“嘿，你是这一带的孩子吗？”他问道。
“是的，先生。”我答道。
“你是怎么来到这里的？”
“先生，是郝维仙小姐叫我来的。”我向他表明。
“好吧！行为要端正些。我对待孩子可有经验呢，你们都是一群坏家伙。要留神些！”他说着，咬着他那只粗大的食指，对我皱了皱眉。“行为要端正些！”
说毕，他便放开了我，径自下楼去了。我十分高兴他放了我，因为他的手上有一股香皂的气味。我怀疑他可能是位医生，可又一想，不会的，他不可能是医生，因为医生一般是文绉绉的，说话会带有劝导性。现在我已经没有时间多考虑这类问题，因为我很快就进入了郝维仙小姐的房间。郝维仙小姐本人和房间里的一切陈设都和我上一次离开这里时一模一样。埃斯苔娜在房门口丢下我走了。我站在那里等着，一直等到郝维仙小姐从她的梳妆台那里一抬眼看到了我。
“是你吗？”她说着，毫无吃惊的感觉，也不感到奇怪。“这些日子又消逝了，你说是吗？”
“是的，夫人。今天是——”
“住口，住口，住口！”她显得焦躁不安，挥动着她的指头。“我不想知道。你说你今天准备玩了吗？”
我很慌乱，不得不说：“我想我还是不行，小姐。”
“不再玩玩牌吗？”她用锐利的眼光看着我，以命令的口吻说道。
“玩牌，小姐，只要你要我玩牌，我就玩牌。”
“孩子，这屋子太陈旧了，又太阴森，”郝维仙小姐不耐烦地说道，“你又不愿意玩。你愿意做事吗？”
一听到这个问题，我心头就比回答刚才那个问题时宽慰得多，于是便立刻回答她我是十分愿意做事的。
“那你就到对面房间去，”她说着，用她那枯干的手指着我身后的门，“等在那里，我马上就来。”
我走过楼梯平台，进了她要我去的那一个房间。这房间和都维仙小姐住的那间一样，阳光全被隔在了外面，屋里散发出一阵令人气闷压抑的混浊空气的味道。潮湿的旧式火炉中刚刚生了一炉火。与其说是生着火，不如说人很快就要熄灭了。火炉中散发出令人讨厌的烟气，迷漫在整个房间中，似乎比外面的凉气更要寒冷，冷得和我们那里沼泽地上的雾气差不多。在高高的烛台上燃点着几支发出寒光的蜡烛，昏暗地照射着房中的一切。如果要表达得更清楚一些，这几支发出寒气的蜡烛把房间里寂静的黑暗都给扰乱了。整间屋子显得很宽敞。我认为从前这屋里一定是富丽堂皇的，可如今屋内的每一件东西上都覆盖着一层尘土，或者布满了霉菌，都在腐烂着。屋中最引人注目的是一张长桌，上面铺着桌布，仿佛一场宴会已经准备就绪，可忽然整座宅邸和所有钟表都停在了时间的一点上。桌布的中央仍然摆着果碟和花瓶一类的装饰品，现在都结满了蜘蛛网，连形状也难以辨别清楚了。我注视着那已变黄的桌布，觉得它长出了像黑蕈苗一类的东西。我看到生着花斑长腿的蜘蛛，满身长着疙瘩，奔进奔出它们的家园，仿佛这个蜘蛛王国发生了什么惊天动地的伟大事件。
我还听到老鼠在嵌板后面传来咔哒咔哒的声音，仿佛蜘蛛王国的大事也引起了它们的兴趣。唯独黑甲虫对这些骚动毫不在意，拖着沉思而老态龙钟的脚步在火炉四边摸索着，仿佛它们因为眼睛近视，耳朵又听不见，所以只顾自己，和其他的邻居们互不来往。
我远远地观察着这些小爬虫的活动。它们吸引着我，我都看呆了。忽然，郝维仙小姐的一只手放在了我的肩头上，另一只手里握着一根丁字形的手杖，用它支撑着身体。她的模样看上去活像这所屋子中的女巫。
她用手杖指着这长桌子说道：“等我死了以后，这上面就是停放我尸体的地方。大家都会到这里来看我最后一眼。”
听了她的话我感到有些莫名其妙的担忧，生怕她就会躺到桌上去，并且立刻死在上面，变成上次我在集市上所见到的那个可怕的蜡像，所以在她放在我肩胛上的手下面，我吓得缩成一团。
“你说那个是什么？”她又用手杖指着那里问我，“就在结了蜘蛛网的地方。”
“小姐，我猜不出那是什么。”
“那是一块大蛋糕，是结婚蛋糕，是我的结婚蛋糕！”
她用炫耀的眼神看了一下屋子的四周，然后用手抓住我的肩膀，把我当作拐棍一样支撑着，说道：“好了，好了！扶我走一下！扶我走一下！”
从这一句话中，我马上领悟出我必须干的活儿原来是扶郝维仙小姐在屋子里一圈圈地来回走动。我立刻就迈开步，让她把我的肩肿当拐棍。我第一次来到她的家时，曾想效仿彭波契克先生马车的样子，这回可真的模仿了。我装成他马车的样子一步步地走着。
她的身体是很孱弱的，我们走了一段她便对我说：“走慢些！”可她走着走着，又会由于不耐烦而走快起来。我们一面走着，她的手一面在我的肩头上抽动着，她的嘴也在抽动着。因此，我便想到，我们之所以走得快起来，完全是因为她头脑中的思想快了起来。又走了一会儿，她说道：“去叫埃斯苔娜！”于是我走到楼梯平台上，像上次一样大声叫喊她的名字。等到见到了她的烛光，我便回来扶住郝维仙小姐。我们又在房中统起了圈子。
如果只有埃斯苔娜一个人到这里来看我们绕着屋子转，我就已经会感到十分地不安了，何况这次她把我在楼下见到过的那三位夫人和一位先生也带了来，我真给弄得手足无措了。从礼貌上说，我本该停下步子，但是郝维仙小姐在我肩头上捏了一把，于是我们又像马一样地急走着。我的心里感到十分局促不安，因为这些人一定会以为是我玩的花样。
“亲爱的郝维仙小姐，”莎娜•鄱凯特小姐说道，“您的气色挺不错的。”
郝维仙小姐答道：“我气色不好，只不过面黄肌瘦、骨瘦如柴罢了。”
卡美拉突然喜形于色，因为鄱凯特小姐遭到了当头一棒，于是她装出一副忧思重重的样子，注视着郝维仙小姐，嘴里喃喃地说着：“多可怜的好人！不能指望气色怎么好，多可怜的人。说她气色好，多么糊涂的想法！”
我们走到卡美拉跟前时，郝维仙小姐对她说道：“你过得好吗？”这时我本该停下来，可是郝维仙小姐不肯停，于是我们只有继续走下去。我想卡美拉一定对我恨之入骨。
“谢谢您，郝维仙小姐，”卡美拉答道，“我还过得去。”
“怎么啦，有什么事儿吗？”郝维仙小姐用十分尖厉的语气问道。
“没有提的必要，”卡美拉答道，“我并不想在您面前表白我的情感，不过每天晚上思念您已成为我的习惯了，以至于把自己却丢在了一旁。”
“那么，你就不要思念我好了。”郝维仙小姐回敬道。
“说起来多容易！”卡美拉带着温和的情意，抑制着抽噎，谁料话一碰嘴唇，泪珠一下子满盈了眼眶。“这一点雷蒙德可以作证，到了晚上我就不得不饮姜汁酒，还要服清醒头脑的药。雷蒙德可以作证，我两条腿上的神经痉挛得很厉害。只要一想到我心头疼爱的人，我就着急，一着急就会噎住，神经就会痉挛。这种情况我已习以为常，不是新鲜事了。我这个人太重情感，过于多愁，如不是这样，我也不至于消化不良，神经也会像铁一样坚硬。我真希望能如此。可是，要我到了晚上不想念您——那，别谈这些了！”这时，她的眼泪已如雨一样地洒下来。
她所说的这位雷蒙德，据我猜测就是这里的这位先生，而这位先生据我猜测就是卡美拉先生。就在这个节骨眼上，他来援救了。他用安慰和赞美的声调说道：“卡美拉，我亲爱的，大家都知道你重视家庭亲缘感情，正是这种情感逐渐伤害了你的身体，甚至使你的一条腿比另一条腿短了。”
那位表情严肃的妇女，即刚才在下面我只听到她讲过一次话的妇女，现在说道：“我亲爱的，我看并不是想念某人就要从某人那里得到大笔好处。”
现在我才看出，莎娜•鄱凯特小姐是一位身材矮小、满脸皱纹、肤色棕黄的干枯老太婆。她那张小脸活像是胡桃壳做成的，一张嘴却大得和猫嘴一样，只不过没有胡子罢了。这时，她对这看法颇为赞同地说道：“当然不是想捞什么，亲爱的，嗯！”
“想念想念是再容易不过了。”那位表情严肃的妇女说道。
“除了想念想念外还有什么更容易的事，你说呢？”莎娜•鄱凯特表示赞成地说道。
“噢，没有错，没有错！”卡美拉大声说道，这时她的情感已被扰乱了，而且从两腿升起，直冲进她的胸口。“完全正确！本来嘛，多愁善感就是一个弱点，可是我有什么办法呢？正是我有这多愁的弱点，身体才遭了殃，否则又不致如此吧。不过，就是能改变我的这性格，我也不想改。尽管我为此不知道忍受了多少痛苦，但是每逢我深夜中醒来，发现自己仍然是这么个性格，倒反而给了我安慰。”说到这里，她又泪珠如雨，以表明自己的情怀。
郝维仙小姐和我一直没有停步，在房间中一圈一圈地走着，不时地擦过女客们的裙边，也不时地远远离开她们，走到这阴郁沉闷房间的另一头。
卡美拉又说道：“只有马休这个人不懂得任何亲缘之情，从来不会到这儿来看看郝维仙小姐！而我已经把沙发作为常伴，时常解开紧身褡的带子，一连几个小时无知无觉地躺在上面，头枕在沙发边上，头发垂挂在沙发下面，而我的脚不知道放在哪里——”
“亲爱的，你的脚放得比你的头还要高呢！”卡美拉先生说道。
“我就是那样一连几个小时几个小时地昏沉而睡，还不是为了马休的古怪脾气和令人费解的行为。可是从没有谁来感谢我。”
那位表情严肃的妇女插嘴道：“说老实话，我不认为会有人感谢。”
“你知道，亲爱的，”莎娜•鄱凯特小姐也补充道（这是个表面温和，内里坏心肠的人），“你该问一问自己，你究竟期望谁来感谢你呢，亲爱的？”
“我并不指望有谁来感谢我，也不指望有谁会对我怎么样，”卡美拉又继续说道，“我就是那样一连几个小时地昏沉而睡。这一点雷蒙德是证人，他看到我给噎住，即使喝姜汁酒也不起作用。我打噎打得很厉害，连街对面的那家人在弹钢琴时都听到我的打噎声，那些可怜的孩子还以为是远远的鸽子叫声呢。没有想到现在我反而被别人评头品足——”这时卡美拉把手放在喉头处，准备开始她的化学反应，想构成新的化合物。
郝维仙小姐听到这同一个马休的名字时，让我停了下来，她自己也不走了，站在那儿望着说话的人。这个变化起了很大作用，使得卡美拉的化学反应也停止了。
这时，郝维仙小姐严厉而又冷酷地说道：“马休最后会来看我的，那时我就停放在那张桌子上。马休就站在他该站的地方，”她用手杖敲着桌面，“站在我的头旁边！你就站在这里！你的丈夫站在这边！莎娜•鄱凯特站在那边！乔其亚娜站在这一边！现在我把你们站的地方全都安排好了，到那时你们就来把我分而食之。好了，现在你们该走了！”
她说话时，每提到一个名字便用手杖在桌子的一个地方敲一下。然后，她对我说：“扶我走吧，扶我走吧！”于是我们又重新开始在房内转圈子。
“我看无法可想了，”卡美拉大声嚷道，“只有遵从旨意在此告别。不过我总算见到了所思念的人，尽了自己的义务，虽然仅仅这么一会儿，也可聊以自慰。在我于深夜梦醒时，虽然会感到忧郁，但还是满足的。马休本来也可以得到这安慰，但他却反其道一意孤行。我本来是下定决心不再表明我内心情意的，不过现在说起我们要把自己的骨肉至亲分而食之，好像我们都成了吃人的巨人，而且最终又下了逐客令，真不知道说什么是好！”
卡美拉夫人把手放在起伏不停的胸口上时，卡美拉先生便插过来帮忙。她很不自然地装出一副强自镇静的样子，我想无非是想表明她一离开这里就要跌倒打噎吧。卡美拉先生扶着她走出去时，她还对着郝维仙小姐做了一个飞吻。莎娜•鄱凯特和乔其亚娜都心怀鬼胎想留在最后一个离开，丽莎娜•鄱凯特毕竟与众不同，懂得如何以智取胜。她矫揉造作，圆滑之极，围着乔其亚娜转来转去，使得她不得不先离开。于是，莎娜•鄱凯特便可以在告别时使用特别有影响的词句：“愿生保佑您，亲爱的郝维仙小姐！”她那胡桃壳般的脸上露出了宽容慈爱的微笑，对其他几人的弱点表示出同情。
埃斯苔娜举着蜡烛送客人下楼。郝维仙小姐仍然一手搭在我的肩上一步一步走着，不过越走越慢。最后，她停在炉火前，凝视了几秒钟，又嘟哝了一些什么，对我说：
“皮普，今天是我的生日。”
我正准备祝愿她万寿无疆，她却举起了手杖。
“我不许提这件事。我不许刚才到这儿来的人提这件事，也不让任何人提这件事。每逢这一天他们就来了，但他们都不敢提这件事。”
当然，我也就没有必要想法提这件事了。
“有一年的今天，在你出生很久之前的一个今天，”她用她那根了字形手杖点着桌上放着的一堆结了蛛网的东西，但没有碰到它，“这堆垃圾被送到了这里。从那时起，这东西和我就一起开始逐年憔悴。老鼠一直用牙齿在啃它，而有比老鼠牙齿更尖厉的牙齿一直在啃着我。”
她站在那里，凝视着桌上放的东西，用手杖头抵着自己的心口。她穿的是曾经洁白的婚礼服，现在已经泛黄而且萎缩；桌上铺的是曾经洁白的桌布，现在也已泛黄而且萎缩了；四周的每一件东西只要碰一下，都立即会变成面粉。
“终有一天死神会成全我的，”她带着副鬼一般的苍白面孔说道，“那时他们会把我停放在这里，穿着新娘的礼服躺在迎亲的喜筵桌上。我死后就这样办，这就是对他最后的诅咒，如果正逢到这个日子那才好呢！”
她站在桌边，凝视着这张桌子，仿佛站在那里正凝视着躺在桌上的她自己的尸体。我依旧沉默无语。埃斯苔娜已经返回，也保持着沉默。我觉得我们似乎那样站了好长一段时间。屋内的空气浑浊沉闷，每一个角落里都笼罩着浓重的黑暗，甚至使我也产生了一种令人恐怖的幻觉，埃斯苔娜和我似乎也开始了缓慢的腐烂过程。
她就那样，处于一种心神错乱的状态，可是最后，在霎那之间她又恢复了正常。她说：“我来看你们两个人玩牌，为什么还不开始玩？”于是我们都回到她的房间，像上次一样地坐在那里；像上次一样，我一次又一次地让我的牌被吃光；像上次一样，郝维仙小姐一直在注视着我们，设法引起我对埃斯苔娜美貌的注意。她一会儿把珠宝试戴在埃斯苔娜的胸口，一会儿又试戴在埃斯苔娜的头上，弄得我目不暇给。
至于埃斯苔娜也像上次一样地对待我，如果说有什么不同，那就是这次她不愿意降低身份来和我说话。我们玩了约摸五六局，我便被告知下一次来的日子，然后像上次一样地被领到院子里，像狗一样地被喂给吃的东西。当然，也像上次一样，我被留在那里随我高兴地东游西荡。
上次我曾爬上一道国墙去观看花园景色，那墙上有一扇门。至于上次那扇门究竟是开着还是关着，我并无意去追究。反正上一次我没有看到什么门，而这次我看到了。现在门开着，我知道埃斯苔娜早就把客人们送走，因为我见到刚才她返回时手中拿着一串钥匙。我信步走进了花园，而且在那儿东逛西逛。这花园早变成了一片荒地，只留下一些旧的香瓜棚和黄瓜棚架子，也已经衰败不堪。那几根枯藤只能乱找一些依靠来寻求生存，爬在破帽子上，攀过旧靴子；还有时，一根枯藤上冒出的新枝，把一只破锅当成寄身之所。
我逛遍了花园，还选了一所花房，其实里面什么也没有，除了一株倒伏的葡萄和几只瓶子。这时我才发现，我正在一个阴沉凄凉的角落里，也就是刚才我从窗口看到过的那个角落。用不着问，我以为这个屋子是空的，一个人也没有，便从另一个窗口向里面张望。大出意料之外的是，我发现自己正和一位面孔苍白、眼脸发红、头发淡黄的少年绅士相互对望着。
这位苍白面孔的少年绅士一转眼便不见了，可是一会儿他却站在了我的身边。刚才在窗口时我看到他正在读书，这会儿他在我面前看上去又是满手墨迹。
他对我招呼道：“喂，小家伙！”
“喂”这个词是个一般的称呼，我看最好的应付方法该是依样画葫芦，所以我答道：“喂。”为了礼貌，我没有说出“小家伙”几个字。
“谁放你进来的？”他说道。
“埃斯苔娜小姐。”
“谁让你在这儿东荡西逛的？”
“埃斯苔娜小姐。”
“来，我们打一场。”这个苍白面孔的少年绅士这样说道。
我除了跟着他走，还能有什么办法？这个问题以后一直萦绕在我心头，可是当时我能做的只有跟他走，因为他的态度是决定性的，而我的吃惊也是自然的。他在前头引路，我跟在后面，仿佛着了魔似的。
“停一会儿，”他回过头来对我说，其实这时我们还没有走出多少步，“打架也该让你晓得打的理由。看我的。”说着他便表现出一副十分激怒的样子，把两手相互一拍，做出一个很优雅的后踢腿姿势，随即扯住我的头发，然后又一拍两手，低着他的头向我的心口冲撞而来。
他这种撞头法简直和公牛没有两样。无疑，这是不知廉耻的不礼貌行为，再加上我刚吃过面包和肉，给他这一撞特别感到不舒服。所以，我便也给了他一拳。当我正准备再给他一拳时，他却说道：“嚼呀！你倒有种？”于是他便前后摆动起身体，这种打架方法我可没有见过，也许是我的见识太少吧。
“打有打的规则！”他说着，踢起左腿，右脚落地。“一切都要符合规则！”说着，他又踢起右腿，左脚落地。“先去找一个场子，做些赛前准备！”于是，他跳来跳去，前后躲闪做了各式各样的怪动作，而我只能眼巴巴地看着。
我看他身形机灵活泼，心中对他暗怕几分，但是，无论从道义上还是从身体上说，我坚信他那长着淡黄色头发的头和我的心口本来无怨无仇，既然他能撞我，我也就有权利以牙还牙，既然我被逼如此，那也是身不由己了。所以，我无言地跟着他，走到花园的一个僻静角落。这里是两道培的连接处，还有一堆垃圾可以把视线隔开。他问我对这个所在满不满意，我的回答是肯定的。于是，他又要求离开这里一会儿。果然一会儿他就回来了，还带来一瓶水和一块浸在醋中的海绵。他说：“这东西对你我双方都有用。”然后便把它们放在靠墙的地方。接下来，他便开始脱衣眼，先脱掉茄克和背心，又脱去衬衫。他的态度表现出一副无忧无虑、爽快利落的样子，不过其中藏着一股杀气。
虽然看上去他并不很健康，脸上生了青春痘，嘴上还生有火疮，但他的那些准备活动把我吓了一大跳。我猜，他的年纪和我差不多，但身材比我高得多，他那个旋转身形的架势的确使人眼花缭乱。再说，这位少年绅士穿了一身灰色衣服（这是指他脱衣上阵之前的样子），胳膊肘、双膝、两只手腕、两只脚后跟都比他身体的其他部分要发达。
我看到他对我拉开进攻架势，招式几乎完美无缺。他用眼睛细细打量着我的身体，仿佛在精心选择进攻的骨骼部位。我被他这架势吓傻了。可是，当我挥出第一拳时，他就被四脚朝天地打倒在地，睁着两眼仰视着我，鼻孔里流出鲜血，整个面孔似乎都缩小了。这真是我平生中所遇到的最希奇的事情。
他一骨碌又爬了起来，用浸醋海绵拭干了鼻子中流出的血，马上又摆开他那精美的进攻架势。然而，他一下子又仰面朝天地躺在了地上，眼圈发青，仰视着我。这是我平生中所遇到的第二件最为希奇的事情。
他的精神可嘉，使我敬佩万分。看来他没有多大气力，落在我身上的拳头也不重，而我的拳头一到他身上，他就被打翻在地。不过，他一下子就又爬了起来，用浸醋海绵拭干血迹，又喝了些那个瓶中的水，十分满意地按照打架的规则给自己加了补充，接着又对我摆开新架势，使我觉得这一次我一定会被他制服。结果，他又落得个鼻青脸肿的下场。我感到歉意的是我每击他一次，分量也就加重一点。但是，他倒下一次，就又爬起来一次。就这样，他摔倒，爬起，再摔倒，再爬起。最后，他狠狠地被我击倒了，头也撞到了后面的墙上。即使在这种危险时刻，他还是爬了起来，狼狈不堪地在地上转了几圈，连我在什么地方也弄不清了。接着，他又立足不稳地跌跪在地上，爬着拿起海绵，承认失败地抛起它，同时气喘喘地说道：“这一次比试是你胜了。”
他似乎很勇敢，又很天真。虽然这次比试不是由我引起的，而我又胜利了，可我除了心情郁闷不解外，并无满足之感。穿衣服的时候，我真希望我把自己当成一条小野狼，或者别的什么野兽。不管怎样，我穿好了衣眼，闷闷不乐地擦去脸上的几处血痕，对他说：“要我帮忙吗？”他答道：“不用了，谢谢。”我说：“再见了。”他也说：“再见了。”
我一回到院子，就看到埃斯苔娜拿着钥匙站在那儿等着，但她既没有问我刚才在哪儿，也没问我为什么让她久等。只见她脸上泛着红晕，好像发生了什么特别使她高兴的事。她没有直接向大门走去，反而退回到过道，示意我走过去。
“到这儿来！你要高兴就吻我一下。”
她把脸转过来时，我吻了她的面颊。现在我想，这面颊上的一吻完全可以使我甘愿为她身人虎穴，而那时我却觉得她赐给我这个粗野平常孩子的一吻，就好像是丢给我一个小钱，是不值得大惊小怪的。
这一天我在那里待的时间很久，因为巧遇了郝维仙小姐的生日，来了客人，又和埃斯苔娜打了牌，还和一位少年绅士比试了拳术，所以在我快接近家门时，沼泽地那边沙滩上的灯塔已经迎着黑夜的天空大放光明，乔的打铁炉中飞溅出来的火星也已闪烁在了大路边。
Chapter 12
MY mind grew very uneasy on the subject of the pale young gentleman. The more I thought of the fight, and recalled the pale young gentleman on his back in various stages of puffy and incrimsoned countenance, the more certain it appeared that something would be done to me. I felt that the pale young gentleman's blood was on my head, and that the Law would avenge it. Without having any definite idea of the penalties I had incurred, it was clear to me that village boys could not go stalking about the country, ravaging the houses of gentlefolks and pitching into the studious youth of England, without laying themselves open to severe punishment. For some days, I even kept close at home, and looked out at the kitchen door with the greatest caution and trepidation before going on an errand, lest the officers of the County Jail should pounce upon me. The pale young gentleman's nose had stained my trousers, and I tried to wash out that evidence of my guilt in the dead of night. I had cut my knuckles against the pale young gentleman's teeth, and I twisted my imagination into a thousand tangles, as I devised incredible ways of accounting for that damnatory circumstance when I should be haled before the Judges. 
When the day came round for my return to the scene of the deed of violence, my terrors reached their height. Whether myrmidons of Justice, specially sent down from London, would be lying in ambush behind the gate? Whether Miss Havisham, preferring to take personal vengeance for an outrage done to her house, might rise in those grave-clothes of hers, draw a pistol, and shoot me dead? Whether suborned boys - a numerous band of mercenaries - might be engaged to fall upon me in the brewery, and cuff me until I was no more? It was high testimony to my confidence in the spirit of the pale young gentleman, that I never imagined him accessory to these retaliations; they always came into my mind as the acts of injudicious relatives of his, goaded on by the state of his visage and an indignant sympathy with the family features.
However, go to Miss Havisham's I must, and go I did. And behold! nothing came of the late struggle. It was not alluded to in any way, and no pale young gentleman was to be discovered on the premises. I found the same gate open, and I explored the garden, and even looked in at the windows of the detached house; but, my view was suddenly stopped by the closed shutters within, and all was lifeless. Only in the corner where the combat had taken place, could I detect any evidence of the young gentleman's existence. There were traces of his gore in that spot, and I covered them with garden-mould from the eye of man.
On the broad landing between Miss Havisham's own room and that other room in which the long table was laid out, I saw a garden-chair - a light chair on wheels, that you pushed from behind. It had been placed there since my last visit, and I entered, that same day, on a regular occupation of pushing Miss Havisham in this chair (when she was tired of walking with her hand upon my shoulder) round her own room, and across the landing, and round the other room. Over and over and over again, we would make these journeys, and sometimes they would last as long as three hours at a stretch. I insensibly fall into a general mention of these journeys as numerous, because it was at once settled that I should return every alternate day at noon for these purposes, and because I am now going to sum up a period of at least eight or ten months.
As we began to be more used to one another, Miss Havisham talked more to me, and asked me such questions as what had I learnt and what was I going to be? I told her I was going to be apprenticed to Joe, I believed; and I enlarged upon my knowing nothing and wanting to know everything, in the hope that she might offer some help towards that desirable end. But, she did not; on the contrary, she seemed to prefer my being ignorant. Neither did she ever give me any money - or anything but my daily dinner - nor even stipulate that I should be paid for my services.
Estella was always about, and always let me in and out, but never told me I might kiss her again. Sometimes, she would coldly tolerate me; sometimes, she would condescend to me; sometimes, she would be quite familiar with me; sometimes, she would tell me energetically that she hated me. Miss Havisham would often ask me in a whisper, or when we were alone, `Does she grow prettier and prettier, Pip?' And when I said yes (for indeed she did), would seem to enjoy it greedily. Also, when we played at cards Miss Havisham would look on, with a miserly relish of Estella's moods, whatever they were. And sometimes, when her moods were so many and so contradictory of one another that I was puzzled what to say or do, Miss Havisham would embrace her with lavish fondness, murmuring something in her ear that sounded like `Break their hearts my pride and hope, break their hearts and have no mercy!'
There was a song Joe used to hum fragments of at the forge, of which the burden was Old Clem. This was not a very ceremonious way of rendering homage to a patron saint; but, I believe Old Clem stood in that relation towards smiths. It was a song that imitated the measure of beating upon iron, and was a mere lyrical excuse for the introduction of Old Clem's respected name. Thus, you were to hammer boys round - Old Clem! With a thump and a sound - Old Clem! Beat it out, beat it out - Old Clem! With a clink for the stout - Old Clem! Blow the fire, blow the fire - Old Clem! Roaring dryer, soaring higher - Old Clem! One day soon after the appearance of the chair, Miss Havisham suddenly saying to me, with the impatient movement of her fingers, `There, there, there! Sing!' I was surprised into crooning this ditty as I pushed her over the floor. It happened so to catch her fancy, that she took it up in a low brooding voice as if she were singing in her sleep. After that, it became customary with us to have it as we moved about, and Estella would often join in; though the whole strain was so subdued, even when there were three of us, that it made less noise in the grim old house than the lightest breath of wind.
What could I become with these surroundings? How could my character fail to be influenced by them? Is it to be wondered at if my thoughts were dazed, as my eyes were, when I came out into the natural light from the misty yellow rooms?
Perhaps, I might have told Joe about the pale young gentleman, if I had not previously been betrayed into those enormous inventions to which I had confessed. Under the circumstances, I felt that Joe could hardly fail to discern in the pale young gentleman, an appropriate passenger to be put into the black velvet coach; therefore, I said nothing of him. Besides: that shrinking from having Miss Havisham and Estella discussed, which had come upon me in the beginning, grew much more potent as time went on. I reposed complete confidence in no one but Biddy; but, I told poor Biddy everything. Why it came natural to me to do so, and why Biddy had a deep concern in everything I told her, I did not know then, though I think I know now.
Meanwhile, councils went on in the kitchen at home, fraught with almost insupportable aggravation to my exasperated spirit. That ass, Pumblechook, used often to come over a night for the purpose of discussing my prospects with my sister; and I really do believe (to this hour with less penitence than I ought to feel), that if these hands could have taken a linchpin out of his chaise-cart, they would have done it. The miserable man was a man of that confined stolidity of mind, that he could not discuss my prospects without having me before him - as it were, to operate upon - and he would drag me up from my stool (usually by the collar) where I was quiet in a corner, and, putting me before the fire as if I were going to be cooked, would begin by saying, `Now, Mum, here is this boy! Here is this boy which you brought up by hand. Hold up your head, boy, and be for ever grateful unto them which so did do. Now, Mum, with respections to this boy!' And then he would rumple my hair the wrong way - which from my earliest remembrance, as already hinted, I have in my soul denied the right of any fellow-creature to do - and would hold me before him by the sleeve: a spectacle of imbecility only to be equalled by himself.
Then, he and my sister would pair off in such nonsensical speculations about Miss Havisham, and about what she would do with me and for me, that I used to want - quite painfully - to burst into spiteful tears, fly at Pumblechook, and pummel him all over. In these dialogues, my sister spoke to me as if she were morally wrenching one of my teeth out at every reference; while Pumblechook himself, self-constituted my patron, would sit supervising me with a depreciatory eye, like the architect of my fortunes who thought himself engaged on a very unremunerative job.
In these discussions, Joe bore no part. But he was often talked at, while they were in progress, by reason of Mrs Joe's perceiving that he was not favourable to my being taken from the forge. I was fully old enough now, to be apprenticed to Joe; and when Joe sat with the poker on his knees thoughtfully raking out the ashes between the lower bars, my sister would so distinctly construe that innocent action into opposition on his part, that she would dive at him, take the poker out of his hands, shake him, and put it away. There was a most irritating end to every one of these debates. All in a moment, with nothing to lead up to it, my sister would stop herself in a yawn, and catching sight of me as it were incidentally, would swoop upon me with, `Come! there's enough of you! You get along to bed; you've given trouble enough for one night, I hope!' As if I had besought them as a favour to bother my life out.
We went on in this way for a long time, and it seemed likely that we should continue to go on in this way for a long time, when, one day, Miss Havisham stopped short as she and I were walking, she leaning on my shoulder; and said with some displeasure:
`You are growing tall, Pip!'
I thought it best to hint, through the medium of a meditative look, that this might be occasioned by circumstances over which I had no control.
She said no more at the time; but, she presently stopped and looked at me again; and presently again; and after that, looked frowning and moody. On the next day of my attendance when our usual exercise was over, and I had landed her at her dressingtable, she stayed me with a movement of her impatient fingers:
`Tell me the name again of that blacksmith of yours.'
`Joe Gargery, ma'am.'
`Meaning the master you were to be apprenticed to?'
`Yes, Miss Havisham.'
`You had better be apprenticed at once. Would Gargery come here with you, and bring your indentures, do you think?'
I signified that I had no doubt he would take it as an honour to be asked.
`Then let him come.'
`At any particular time, Miss Havisham?'
`There, there! I know nothing about times. Let him come soon, and come alone with you.'
When I got home at night, and delivered this message for Joe, my sister `went on the Rampage,' in a more alarming degree than at any previous period. She asked me and Joe whether we supposed she was door-mats under our feet, and how we dared to use her so, and what company we graciously thought she was fit for? When she had exhausted a torrent of such inquiries, she threw a candlestick at Joe, burst into a loud sobbing, got out the dustpan - which was always a very bad sign - put on her coarse apron, and began cleaning up to a terrible extent. Not satisfied with a dry cleaning, she took to a pail and scrubbing-brush, and cleaned us out of house and home, so that we stood shivering in the back-yard. It was ten o'clock at night before we ventured to creep in again, and then she asked Joe why he hadn't married a Negress Slave at once? Joe offered no answer, poor fellow, but stood feeling his whisker and looking dejectedly at me, as if he thought it really might have been a better speculation.
 
和那位苍白面孔的少年绅士打架之事，一直令我的心中不能平静。越是想到这次比试，以及这位苍白面孔的少年绅士给多次摔得仰面朝天、脸上弄得青紫相间、红肿不堪的样子，我就越感到自己将因此得到应有的下场。我觉察到那位苍白面孔的少年绅士的血曾染在我的头上，法律是不会饶恕我的。虽然我无法确切地说出我所犯罪孽的具体条款，但我心中十分明白，乡下孩子不该在外面招摇过市，不该走进名门望族的家庭，不该冲撞英格兰勤奋好学的少年，否则，摆在他面前的就是严厉的惩罚。一连几天我都躲在家中，如果要我出去有事，事先我也必定从厨房的门口仔细地观察一番外面情况，而且总是胆战心惊，生怕一出门就被县监狱的差官抓住。那位苍白面孔的少年绅士的鼻血也曾染红我的裤腿，我只有趁着深夜时分来洗净这一罪证。那位苍白面孔的少年绅士曾用牙齿咬破了我的手指，我也发挥我的奇想，设计了成千的方法，以防万一被强拉到法庭之上，便可以利用巧辩把这该死的事情敷衍过去。
到了要回到暴力行凶现场的日子，我的恐惧心理也达到了极点。法院会不会派来打手，特别是伦敦法院，那些雇佣的帮手会不会埋伏在门口呢？郝维仙小姐也许因为我在她家中行凶打人就要亲手报复。她会不会穿着寿终正寝的衣服忽然站起来，拔出手枪，用一颗子弹把我射死呢？会不会有花钱雇来的孩子，一帮杀人凶神，躲在制酒作坊那里，等待时机，跳出来把我打死为止呢？我坚信那位苍白面孔的少年绅士的灵魂是高尚的，他不会唆使别人来报复。但是我考虑的是他那些不能明辨是非的亲戚，一看到他受伤惨重的面孔，不得不对他表示同情，而且为了维护家庭的名声，会激起愤怒的情绪，唆使人来报复。
不管怎样，到了时间我就非到郝维仙小姐家去不可。我终于去了。可是，关于上次比试的事什么也没有发生，也没有人提到这件事，连那位苍白面孔的少年绅土也居然在整座屋子中都没有找到。我看到花园的门依旧开着，便走进去探视一番。到了那所独立的住所，我从窗口向里面窥视，只见所有的百叶窗都关着，一点生气也没有。只有上次我们比试的那个角落还留下些痕迹，足以证明那位少年绅士确有其人。他留下的是几处血迹，我弄了些花园的泥土盖在上面，以免被人发现。
郝维仙小姐的房间和那个放着长条桌子的房间之间有一个宽阔的平台，上面放着一张手推椅，椅子下面有轮子，可以从后面向前推，十分轻便。上次在那里我就看到了这张椅子。从这一天开始，我有了新工作，定期推着这张坐着郝维仙小姐的轮椅（因为她用手扶着我的肩头走感到吃力），在她的房间里绕圈，还可以推过平台，在别的房间里绕圈。我绕来绕去，一次再次，不停地绕着圈子，有时一口气要推三个小时之久，我也数不清究竟绕了多少圈。也就从那天开始，我得每隔一天去一次，时间是中午，任务是推她的轮椅。这个活我干了有八个月或十个月。
日子一长，我们之间的相处就更习惯了。郝维仙小姐和我谈了许多，也问过我一些问题，如我学过什么，有什么打算，等等。我告诉她，以后我会当乔的徒弟学打铁，我又说，我什么都不知道，但什么都想知道。我如此讲的目的是希望有朝一日她能提供一点帮助来达到我的愿望，但她根本不予搭理，相反，她宁愿我无知无识。她甚至从来没有给过我钱或物品，只不过给我吃一顿饭。她没有任何许诺，不说我为她打工她该付给工资等等的话。
我每一次去，埃斯苔娜都在周围，都是她把我领进，又把我送出，但是她再没有叫我吻过她。有时，她冷若冰霜地对我表示容忍，有时又低三下四地迁就我；有时，她显示出和我十分亲密，有时，又会心神狂乱地告诉我她恨我。郝维仙小姐总是用低低的声音问我，或者仅只我们两人在场时，她会问我：“她是不是越长越美丽了，皮普？”我的回答是肯定的（因为她确实越来越美丽）。她听我这样回答便显出情不自禁的高兴。每当我们在玩牌时，郝维仙小姐总是专心致志地瞅着，细细地玩味着埃斯苔娜的一言一行、一举一动。如果埃斯苔娜的情绪反复无常、变化多端，使我不知道该说什么或该做什么，郝维仙小姐便把她抱在自己怀里，表现出无限的狂喜，在她耳边轻轻絮语。我听见好像是说：“捏碎他们的心，你是我的骄傲、我的希望，把他们的心撕得粉碎，不要有什么怜悯！”
我记得乔在打铁时，总喜欢断断续续地哼一首歌，歌中的叠句反复唱着“老克莱门”。用这首歌来表示对铁匠的保护神老克莱门的尊重是不够隆重的，不过我以为老克莱门和铁匠们的关系在歌词中表现得很确切。这首歌是模仿打铁时的节奏，加了一些词，以抒情的方式歌唱出老克莱门这一被人尊重的名字。比如：“孩子们一起来啊，来打铁呀，老克莱门！打一锤啊，响一声啊，老克莱门！用力打啊，加油干啊，老克莱门！用力打啊，加把劲啊，老克莱＊风箱拉得响啊，火苗来得旺啊，老克莱门！风箱声嘶哑啊，火苗飞得高啊，老克莱门！”我开始用轮椅推郝维仙小姐以后，有一天，她突然心血来潮地用手指挥了一下，对我说：“好了，好了，好了！你就唱一支歌吧！”于是，我一面推着她在房中绕圈子，一面不知不觉地哼出了这个曲子。这支曲子正中她下怀，她也用低低的若有所思的声音哼起来，和梦中发出的声音差不多。以后，这也习以为常了。我们一面前进着，一面哼着，埃斯苔娜也加进了我们的行列。我们的歌声压得低低的，即使三个人的声音加在一起，也比这阴森森老屋中的一丝微风声要低微得多。
和这种周围环境相伴，我会变成怎样一个人呢？我的性格又怎么会不受这种环境的影响呢？每当我从这些昏黄迷氵蒙的房子中走出，投进自然的光辉之中时，我怎么会不蒙头转向？我的双眼又怎么会不眼花缘乱呢？
如果最初我没有胡说八道，撒过弥天大谎，后来又向乔彻底承认自己的错误，我一定会告诉乔关于那位苍白面孔的少年绅士的事。如若我现在再告诉他，他反而会认为这位苍白面孔的少年绅士不过是我放进黑天鹅绒马车中一个合适的乘客而已，所以我没有说。此外，因为一开始就议论了郝维仙小姐和埃斯苔娜，我就特别担心再议论她们，而且我的担心随着时间的推移愈来愈强烈。除了毕蒂之外，我对谁都不信任。任何事我都要告诉可怜的毕蒂。为什么我把一切事情告诉她是顺乎自然的呢？为什么毕蒂对我的每一件事又关怀备至呢？当时我确实不能理解，而现在我想我是明白了。
这时候，我们家的厨房中正开着家庭会议。我心中充满了愤怒的火焰，几乎达到不可抑制的程度。那头蠢驴彭波契克总是晚上来到这里同我姐姐讨论我的前途问题。我坚信，如果我的手有那个气力，我一定会把他马车上的车辖拔出来。这个念头直到今天想起来，我也不会感到后悔。这个卑鄙的家伙简直是麻木不仁、愚顽不化。他一讨论我的前途，就非要我在他面前不可，仿佛要在我身上做实验一样。通常，他一把揪住我的领子，把我从那个安静角落的小凳子上拖起来，再把我放在火炉的前面，似乎要把我烤熟，并且这样开口说道：“看，夫人，这孩子在这里！这孩子来了，这是你一手领大的孩子。孩子，你抬起头来，你可要永远感谢一手把你带大的人。来，夫人，来讨论一下这孩子的事！”接着他又会乱摸我的头发。其实这件事，正如前文提及的，在我最初的记忆中，就认为没有人有这种权利乱弄我的头发。甚至当我站在他面前时，他还要拉扯着我的袖管。我变成了一个愚蠢的观赏品，只有他那副模样才能和我配对。
接着，他和我姐姐唱起了双簧，以郝维仙小姐作为话题尽扯些毫无意义的事情，比如说她该为我做什么，她该为我考虑什么。每听到此，我总是痛苦不堪，淌出怨恨的眼泪，真想狂奔到彭波契克面前，把他全身上下狠狠揍一顿。谈话时，我姐姐的劲儿好像每涉及我一次就要拔出我的一颗牙似的。而彭波契克又总是自封为我的保护人，自鸣得意地坐在那里，用他那轻蔑的眼光监管着我，俨然以我命运的缔造者自居，认为他为我做了这么多好事，自己反而一无所获，不合算。
凡是这类讨论乔是没有份儿的。但是当他们在谈论什么时，时常要谈到他，因为我姐姐已经看出乔是不赞成我离开铁匠铺的。我的年龄已足够做乔的徒弟了。只要乔坐在那里把火钳搁在膝头上，一面漫不经心地拨弄着炉格中的灰，一面呆呆地出神时，我姐姐便直截了当地把他这种无辜的行为当作是对立情绪的表现，就会扑向他，从他手中夺下火钳，推操他的身子，然后把火钳丢在一边。每一次这类问题的辩论，结果都是以最令人不快的局面收场。一时间，再没有新的谈话资料，我姐姐总是停下来打起哈欠，然后忽然，似乎偶然地一眼看到了我，便向我猛扑过来，嘴里说道：“行了！这儿没有你的事了！你去睡觉吧。这一晚你是够惹人烦的了！”他们把我烦得要死，却反而怨我，好像是我恳求他们来找我麻烦一样。
这样的日子过了一段很长的时间，看上去我们还要继续过这样的日子，也还要有一段很长的时间。但是有一天，郝维仙小姐正扶着我肩头行走时，突然停了下来，有些不高兴地对我说道：
“皮普，你已长高了！”
我带着沉思的表情望了她一眼，觉得以这种目光作媒介是最好的方法，让她知道这是自然的成长，是我无法控制的。
当时她没有再说什么，但一会儿她又停下来重新望着我，过了一会儿又望望我，然后便显得一脸愁云，心情忧郁。下一次，我照例又去侍候。像往常一样，我们结束了运动，我扶着她走到她的梳妆台前，她不耐烦地挥了一下手指，说道：
“再把你那铁匠的名字告诉我。”
“小姐，他叫乔•葛奇里。”
“你就是要当这个师父的学徒吗？”
“是的，郝维仙小姐。”
“你最好立刻就去当学徒。葛奇里是否能带着你们订的师徒合同和你一起到这儿来一次，你说呢？”
我对她表示，如果要他带着合同来一次，他一定会感到万分荣幸。
“那么就让他来一次。”
“郝维仙小姐，约定哪一天来呢？”
“得了，得了！我不知道时间。要他快来，和你一起来就可以。”
当晚我一回家，就把这个消息告诉乔，而我姐姐听到后反而大发脾气，甚至比以往任何时候发的脾气都要大。她责问我们是不是把她当成放在门口的擦鞋垫子，可以任意踩踏？我们怎么竟敢如此对待她？我们究竟认为她配到怎样的人家去做客才恰当？她一连提出许多问题，发了很大的火，然后拿起烛台向乔摔过去，随即便号啕大哭，拿出了簸箕（这一举动永远是一种不祥之兆），把粗布围裙系在腰上，开始疯狂地打扫。光是扫地她还不满足，又提来一桶水，拿来一把地板擦子，在房屋里擦洗起来，使我们在里面无法立足，只有跑到院子里站着发抖。一直到晚上十点钟，我们才仗着胆子溜进屋。我姐姐又问乔那时为什么不讨个女黑奴当老婆？乔一言不发，这个可怜的人儿只是站在那里用手摸着他的胡须，垂头丧气地看着我，仿佛在想当时讨个女黑奴当老婆说不定是个好主意。
Chapter 13
IT was a trial to my feelings, on the next day but one, to see Joe arraying himself in his Sunday clothes to accompany me to Miss Havisham's. However, as he thought his court-suit necessary to the occasion, it was not for me tell him that he looked far better in his working dress; the rather, because I knew he made himself so dreadfully uncomfortable, entirely on my account, and that it was for me he pulled up his shirt-collar so very high behind, that it made the hair on the crown of his head stand up like a tuft of feathers. 
At breakfast time my sister declared her intention of going to town with us, and being left at Uncle Pumblechook's and called for `when we had done with our fine ladies' - a way of putting the case, from which Joe appeared inclined to augur the worst. The forge was shut up for the day, and Joe inscribed in chalk upon the door (as it was his custom to do on the very rare occasions when he was not at work) the monosyllable HOUT, accompanied by a sketch of an arrow supposed to be flying in the direction he had taken.
We walked to town, my sister leading the way in a very large beaver bonnet, and carrying a basket like the Great Seal of England in plaited straw, a pair of pattens, a spare shawl, and an umbrella, though it was a fine bright day. I am not quite clear whether these articles were carried penitentially or ostentatiously; but, I rather think they were displayed as articles of property - much as Cleopatra or any other sovereign lady on the Rampage might exhibit her wealth in a pageant or procession.
When we came to Pumblechook's, my sister bounced in and left us. As it was almost noon, Joe and I held straight on to Miss Havisham's house. Estella opened the gate as usual, and, the moment she appeared, Joe took his hat off and stood weighing it by the brim in both his hands: as if he had some urgent reason in his mind for being particular to half a quarter of an ounce.
Estella took no notice of either of us, but led us the way that I knew so well. I followed next to her, and Joe came last. When I looked back at Joe in the long passage, he was still weighing his hat with the greatest care, and was coming after us in long strides on the tips of his toes.
Estella told me we were both to go in, so I took Joe by the coat-cuff and conducted him into Miss Havisham's presence. She was seated at her dressing-table, and looked round at us immediately.
`Oh!' said she to Joe. `You are the husband of the sister of this boy?'
I could hardly have imagined dear old Joe looking so unlike himself or so like some extraordinary bird; standing, as he did, speechless, with his tuft of feathers ruffled, and his mouth open, as if he wanted a worm.
`You are the husband,' repeated Miss Havisham, `of the sister of this boy?'
It was very aggravating; but, throughout the interview Joe persisted in addressing Me instead of Miss Havisham.
`Which I meantersay, Pip,' Joe now observed in a manner that was at once expressive of forcible argumentation, strict confidence, and great politeness, `as I hup and married your sister, and I were at the time what you might call (if you was anyways inclined) a single man.'
`Well!' said Miss Havisham. `And you have reared the boy, with the intention of taking him for your apprentice; is that so, Mr Gargery?'
`You know, Pip,' replied Joe, `as you and me were ever friends, and it were looked for'ard to betwixt us, as being calc'lated to lead to larks. Not but what, Pip, if you had ever made objections to the business - such as its being open to black and sut, or such-like - not but what they would have been attended to, don't you see?'
`Has the boy,' said Miss Havisham, `ever made any objection? Does he like the trade?'
`Which it is well beknown to yourself, Pip,' returned Joe, strengthening his former mixture of argumentation, confidence, and politeness, `that it were the wish of your own hart.' (I saw the idea suddenly break upon him that he would adapt his epitaph to the occasion, before he went on to say) `And there weren't no objection on your part, and Pip it were the great wish of your hart!'
It was quite in vain for me to endeavour to make him sensible that he ought to speak to Miss Havisham. The more I made faces and gestures to him to do it, the more confidential, argumentative, and polite, he persisted in being to Me.
`Have you brought his indentures with you?' asked Miss Havisham.
`Well, Pip, you know,' replied Joe, as if that were a little unreasonable, `you yourself see me put 'em in my 'at, and therefore you know as they are here.' With which he took them out, and gave them, not to Miss Havisham, but to me. I am afraid I was ashamed of the dear good fellow - I know I was ashamed of him - when I saw that Estella stood at the back of Miss Havisham's chair, and that her eyes laughed mischievously. I took the indentures out of his hand and gave them to Miss Havisham.
`You expected,' said Miss Havisham, as she looked them over, `no premium with the boy?'
`Joe!' I remonstrated; for he made no reply at all. `Why don't you answer--'
`Pip,' returned Joe, cutting me short as if he were hurt, `which I meantersay that were not a question requiring a answer betwixt yourself and me, and which you know the answer to be full well No. You know it to be No, Pip, and wherefore should I say it?'
Miss Havisham glanced at him as if she understood what he really was, better than I had thought possible, seeing what he was there; and took up a little bag from the table beside her.
`Pip has earned a premium here,' she said, `and here it is. There are five-and-twenty guineas in this bag. Give it to your master, Pip.'
As if he were absolutely out of his mind with the wonder awakened in him by her strange figure and the strange room, Joe, even at this pass, persisted in addressing me.
`This is wery liberal on your part, Pip,' said Joe, `and it is as such received and grateful welcome, though never looked for, far nor near nor nowheres. And now, old chap,' said Joe, conveying to me a sensation, first of burning and then of freezing, for I felt as if that familiar expression were applied to Miss Havisham; `and now, old chap, may we do our duty! May you and me do our duty, both on us by one and another, and by them which your liberal present - have - conweyed - to be - for the satisfaction of mind - of - them as never--' here Joe showed that he felt he had fallen into frightful difficulties, until he triumphantly rescued himself with the words, `and from myself far be it!' These words had such a round and convincing sound for him that he said them twice.
`Good-bye, Pip!' said Miss Havisham. `Let them out, Estella.'
`Am I to come again, Miss Havisham?' I asked.
`No. Gargery is your master now. Gargery! One word!'
Thus calling him back as I went out of the door, I heard her say to Joe, in a distinct emphatic voice, `The boy has been a good boy here, and that is his reward. Of course, as an honest man, you will expect no other and no more.'
How Joe got out of the room, I have never been able to determine; but, I know that when he did get out he was steadily proceeding up-stairs instead of coming down, and was deaf to all remonstrances until I went after him and laid hold of him. In another minute we were outside the gate, and it was locked, and Estella was gone.
When we stood in the daylight alone again, Joe backed up against a wall, and said to me, `Astonishing!' And there he remained so long, saying `Astonishing' at intervals, so often, that I began to think his senses were never coming back. At length he prolonged his remark into `Pip, I do assure you this is as-TONishing!' and so, by degrees, became conversational and able to walk away.
I have reason to think that Joe's intellects were brightened by the encounter they had passed through, and that on our way to Pumblechook's he invented a subtle and deep design. My reason is to be found in what took place in Mr Pumblechook's parlour: where, on our presenting ourselves, my sister sat in conference with that detested seedsman.
`Well?' cried my sister, addressing us both at once. `And what's happened to you? I wonder you condescend to come back to such poor society as this, I am sure I do!'
`Miss Havisham,' said Joe, with a fixed look at me, like an effort of remembrance, `made it wery partick'ler that we should give her - were it compliments or respects, Pip?'
`Compliments,' I said.
`Which that were my own belief,' answered Joe - `her compliments to Mrs J. Gargery--'
`Much good they'll do me!' observed my sister; but rather gratified too.
`And wishing,' pursued Joe, with another fixed look at me, like another effort to remembrance, `that the state of Miss Havisham's elth were sitch as would have - allowed, were it, Pip?'
`Of her having the pleasure,' I added.
`Of ladies' company,' said Joe. And drew a long breath.
`Well!' cried my sister, with a mollified glance at Mr Pumblechook. `She might have had the politeness to send that message at first, but it's better late than never. And what did she give young Rantipole here?'
`She giv' him,' said Joe, `nothing.'
Mrs Joe was going to break out, but Joe went on.
`What she giv',' said Joe, `she giv' to his friends. "And by his friends," were her explanation, "I mean into the hands of his sister Mrs J. Gargery." Them were her words; "Mrs J. Gargery." She mayn't have know'd,' added Joe, with an appearance of reflection, `whether it were Joe, or Jorge.'
My sister looked at Pumblechook: who smoothed the elbows of his wooden armchair, and nodded at her and at the fire, as if he had known all about it beforehand.
`And how much have you got?' asked my sister, laughing. Positively, laughing!
`What would present company say to ten pound?' demanded Joe.
`They'd say,' returned my sister, curtly, `pretty well. Not too much, but pretty well.'
`It's more than that, then,' said Joe.
That fearful Impostor, Pumblechook, immediately nodded, and said, as he rubbed the arms of his chair: `It's more than that, Mum.'
`Why, you don't mean to say--' began my sister.
`Yes I do, Mum,' said Pumblechook; `but wait a bit. Go on, Joseph. Good in you! Go on!'
`What would present company say,' proceeded Joe, `to twenty pound?'
`Handsome would be the word,' returned my sister.
`Well, then,' said Joe, `It's more than twenty pound.'
That abject hypocrite, Pumblechook, nodded again, and said, with a patronizing laugh, `It's more than that, Mum. Good again!Follow her up, Joseph!'
`Then to make an end of it,' said Joe, delightedly handing the bag to my sister; `it's five-and-twenty pound.'
`It's five-and-twenty pound, Mum,' echoed that basest of swindlers, Pumblechook, rising to shake hands with her; `and it's no more than your merits (as I said when my opinion was asked), and I wish you joy of the money!'
If the villain had stopped here, his case would have been sufficiently awful, but he blackened his guilt by proceeding to take me into custody, with a right of patronage that left all his former criminality far behind.
`Now you see, Joseph and wife,' said Pumblechook, as he took me by the arm above the elbow, `I am one of them that always go right through with what they've begun. This boy must be bound, out of hand. That's my way. Bound out of hand.'
`Goodness knows, Uncle Pumblechook,' said my sister (grasping the money), `we're deeply beholden to you.'
`Never mind me, Mum, returned that diabolical corn-chandler. `A pleasure's a pleasure, all the world over. But this boy, you know; we must have him bound. I said I'd see to it - to tell you the truth.'
The Justices were sitting in the Town Hall near at hand, and we at once went over to have me bound apprentice to Joe in the Magisterial presence. I say, we went over, but I was pushed over by Pumblechook, exactly as if I had that moment picked a pocket or fired a rick; indeed, it was the general impression in Court that I had been taken red-handed, for, as Pumblechook shoved me before him through the crowd, I heard some people say, `What's he done?' and others, `He's a young 'un, too, but looks bad, don't he? One person of mild and benevolent aspect even gave me a tract ornamented with a woodcut of a malevolent young man fitted up with a perfect sausage-shop of fetters, and entitled, TO BE READ IN MY CELL.
The Hall was a queer place, I thought, with higher pews in it than a church - and with people hanging over the pews looking on - and with mighty Justices (one with a powdered head) leaning back in chairs, with folded arms, or taking snuff, or going to sleep, or writing, or reading the newspapers - and with some shining black portraits on the walls, which my unartistic eye regarded as a composition of hardbake and sticking-plaister. Here, in a corner, my indentures were duly signed and attested, and I was `bound;' Mr Pumblechook holding me all the while as if we had looked in on our way to the scaffold, to have those little preliminaries disposed of.
When we had come out again, and had got rid of the boys who had been put into great spirits by the expectation of seeing me publicly tortured, and who were much disappointed to find that my friends were merely rallying round me, we went back to Pumblechook's. And there my sister became so excited by the twenty-five guineas, that nothing would serve her but we must have a dinner out of that windfall, at the Blue Boar, and that Pumblechook must go over in his chaise-cart, and bring the Hubbles and Mr Wopsle.
It was agreed to be done; and a most melancholy day I passed. For, it inscrutably appeared to stand to reason, in the minds of the whole company, that I was an excrescence on the entertainment. And to make it worse, they all asked me from time to time - in short, whenever they had nothing else to do - why I didn't enjoy myself. And what could I possibly do then, but say I was enjoying myself - when I wasn't?
However, they were grown up and had their own way, and they made the most of it. That swindling Pumblechook, exalted into the beneficent contriver of the whole occasion, actually took the top of the table; and, when he addressed them on the subject of my being bound, and had fiendishly congratulated them on my being liable to imprisonment if I played at cards, drank strong liquors, kept late hours or bad company, or indulged in other vagaries which the form of my indentures appeared to contemplate as next to inevitable, he placed me standing on a chair beside him, to illustrate his remarks.
My only other remembrances of the great festival are, That they wouldn't let me go to sleep, but whenever they saw me dropping off, woke me up and told me to enjoy myself. That, rather late in the evening Mr Wopsle gave us Collins's ode, and threw his bloodstain'd sword in thunder down, with such effect, that a waiter came in and said, `The Commercials underneath sent up their compliments, and it wasn't the Tumblers' Arms.' That, they were all in excellent spirits on the road home, and sang O Lady Fair! Mr Wopsle taking the bass, and asserting with a tremendously strong voice (in reply to the inquisitive bore who leads that piece of music in a most impertinent manner, by wanting to know all about everybody's private affairs) that he was the man with his white locks flowing, and that he was upon the whole the weakest pilgrim going.
Finally, I remember that when I got into my little bedroom I was truly wretched, and had a strong conviction on me that I should never like Joe's trade. I had liked it once, but once was not now.
 
第三天，乔用他那件周日礼服把自己包装起来，准备陪我去郝维仙小姐的家。看他穿衣服时，我感到这对他来说就等于是一场灾难。他以为遇到如此的重大场合必须穿上这套礼服，虽然他穿上普通的工装要比穿礼服神气得多。我想我也没有必要对他说这些话，因为我心中明白，他用这套十分不合身的衣服包装自己完全是为了我。那片衬衫领子在他脖子后面高得使他头顶上的头发都竖得直挺挺的，好像一簇羽毛。
吃早饭的时候，我姐姐宣布她和我们一起到镇上去，然后留在彭波契克舅舅家等我们，要我们和那些高贵的女士们办完事后到那里叫她一声。听她的意思，这对乔是个大大的坏兆头。这天铁匠铺停工，乔用粉笔在门上写了个单音节词“出”。虽然有一天不工作是难得的，但每遇到这一天他就要告诉人家。这是他的老习惯。他不仅写字，还要配一幅画，画的是一支箭，箭射出的方向指明他的去向。
我们步行到镇上去，我姐姐在前头领路，头上戴着一顶很大的海獭皮帽子，手上拎着一只草编篮子，真像英国国玺一般宝贵。尽管这是一个晴天，她脚上却穿了一双木套鞋，颈上围了一条平时不用的围巾，另外，还带了一把伞。我弄不懂她带这么多东西究竟是为了找苦头吃，还是为了表示自己东西多。我以为这一定是为了夸耀自己有钱，非常像埃及女王克莉奥佩特娜或者其他的女王陛下。她们在大发雷霆时，便会在出游或巡视时夸耀其财富。
我们一抵达彭波契克的家门，我姐姐便一溜烟奔进去，留下了我们两人。这时已接近中午，乔和我径直去郝维仙小姐的家。埃斯苔娜像往常一样为我们开了门。乔看到她时便脱下帽子，双手抓住帽边，直挺挺地站着，估量着帽子有多重，好像在这紧要时刻必须斤斤计较，毫厘不让似的。
埃斯苔娜根本就不理我们两人，只是领着我们走着我十分熟悉的路。我跟在她后面，而乔跟在我后面，走在长长的过道里。我回过头去望他，他还是十分小心地掂量着帽子，踮着脚尖大步地跟随在后。
埃斯苔娜叫我们两人一起进去，所以我拉着乔的礼服衣袖，将他带到郝维仙小姐的面前。她正坐在梳妆台前面，立刻转过身来不住地打量着我们。
她对乔说道：“哦！你就是这孩子的姐夫吗？”
我真没有想到我这位亲爱的老伙计乔今天的样子完全变了，简直像一只离奇古怪的小鸟，直挺挺地站着，一言不发，头上竖着一簇羽毛，张着一张嘴，仿佛他想要吃小虫一样。
郝维仙小姐又重复了一句：“你是这个孩子的姐夫吗？”
情况够尴尬的，整个这次会面，乔坚持要对着我说话，而不敢对郝维仙小姐说一句。
“皮普，我的意思是说，”乔说着，“我娶你姐姐为妻是符合我的心仪（意）的，那时候我被叫成单身汉（不管怎样就是单身汉）。”他说得有声有色，有条有理，令人信服且彬彬有礼。
“嗯！”郝维仙小姐说道，“葛奇里先生你抚养了这个孩子，还打算让他当你的学徒，是不是这样？”
“你知道，皮普，”乔答道，“因为你和我永远是朋友，我们两人都盼望有这一天，巴望这一天的到来会使我们走运。不过，皮普，你要是反对干这个行当——满身会给弄得全是黑黑的煤烟——你究竟愿不愿干这个行当，你说呢？”
郝维仙小姐说道：“这孩子提出过反对的意见吗？他喜欢于这一行吗？”
“这一点你自己最清楚，皮普，”乔答道，这一次说得更为有声有色。有条有理，令人信服且彬彬有礼，“你是出自内心的希望想干这一行。”（我看他一定是突然想起他自己撰写的两行墓志铭了，很想朗诵一下，不过他却接下去说）“你没有提过什么反对意见，皮普，你是出自内心的希望想干这一行。”
我想努力提醒他，要他意识到他应该对郝维仙小姐讲这些话，不过我的用心全然无效。我越是对他扮鬼脸，做手势，他越是对着我讲，而且有坚持到底的决心，说得那么令人信服、有条有理，而且十分有礼貌。
“你带来了你们两人订的师徒合同了吗？”郝维仙小姐问道。
“噢，皮普，你知道，”乔答道；仿佛这是没有必要提的问题，“你亲眼看见我把它放在我的帽子中的，当然，它还在那儿。”说着他便从帽子中把它取出，但没有交给郝维仙小姐，而是交给了我。我想我这位老朋友真让我丢人现眼，他确实使我丢尽了脸面。这时，我看到站在郝维仙小姐椅子后面的埃斯苔娜，她眼睛中闪现出带有恶意的笑。于是我从他手中接过师徒合同，把它交给郝维仙小姐。
郝维仙小姐看完了合同，问道：“你不想要这个孩子给你谢师礼吗？”
“乔！”我赶忙提醒道，因为乔听了根本没有讲话。“你怎么不说话啊——”
“皮普，”乔突然打断了我的话，仿佛刚才她的话伤了他的心，“我的意思是这是一个不需要问的问题，在你我之间是明摆着的，你一定知道我的回答是完全不要。皮普，你既然知道我一定不要，你为什么还要我来说呢？”
郝维仙小姐看了他一眼，仿佛已经看透了他的品质，知道他确是个不错的人。这是我根本没有想到的事。然后，她就从身旁的一张桌子上拿起一个小袋子。
“皮普已经在这儿挣得了谢师礼，”她说道，“这就是。袋子里有二十五个金币。皮普，拿去给你的师父。”
似乎女主人的奇怪模样和这奇怪的房间使乔惊异得不知所措了，即使在这个关口，他还是固执地对着我说话。
“皮普，你太慷慨大方了，”乔说道，“我这就领你情了，我是非常感谢，不过我从来没有想过要它，而且一丁点儿也没有想要过。好吧，老朋友。”乔说道。他这一叫使我大受其苦，先是浑身发烫，然后又全身冰凉，因为我以为他在用这个亲切的称呼叫郝维仙小姐呢。“好吧，我的老朋友，愿我们合作成功！愿你和我都尽其职守！为了你我相互之间的情谊，为了这笔慷慨大方的礼金——可——使——他们——心满意足了——因为他们从未——”说到这里，乔感到不知道说什么是好，随即便说了句“我可是不想要”，这真是凯旋般地救了他自己。这句话他一连说了两遍，说得既流利，又令人信服。
“皮普，再见吧！”郝维仙小姐说道，“埃斯苔娜，送他们出去吧。”
“郝维仙小姐，我还要再来吗？”我问道。
“不用再来了，现在葛奇里是你的师父了。葛奇里！还有一句话！”
我正要跨出房门，他又被叫回去了。我听到她对他一字一句清清楚楚地说道：“这孩子在这里一直很好，那是给他的报酬。自然，你是一个老实人，不会要得更多，也不会再要的。”
乔是怎样从那房间走出来的，我是永远无法确定的。不过，我看到他一从房里出来，就坚定地向楼上走去，而不是走下楼梯。我一再叫他，他都仿佛没有听见似的，我只有赶上前去一把抓住他。一会儿，我们走出大门，埃斯苔娜把门锁上后便自顾走了。我们又回到了青天白日之下。乔把背靠在一堵墙上，对我说道：“太怪了！”过了好一会儿，又说，“大怪了！”而且一连说了好几次。我不得不想到是不是他的气憋过去，回不过来了。最后，他才拖长了音说道：“皮普，我敢打赌，这事太——怪——了！”然后，他渐渐地清楚起来，也能迈步走路了。
我有充分的理由认为，乔经历了这一次的拜访已经开了窍，增长了见识，所以在我们去到彭波契克家的路上，他想出了一个巧妙且富有深刻意义的主意。从下面在彭波契克先生家的客厅中所发生的事便可见其端倪。我们走进去时，我姐姐正坐在那里和那位令人讨厌的种子商人聊天。
“嗬！”我姐姐一看到我们两人便立刻大声说道，“你们怎么样了？我可没想到你们还会屈尊大驾又回到这种寒酸的地方来，我的确没有想到。”
乔盯视着我，好像努力在回忆什么，然后说道：“郝维仙小姐特别要我们给你姐姐，皮普，是给她问安还是致意？”
“是问安。”我答道。
“我也相信是问安，”乔说道，“她向乔•葛奇里夫人问安——”
“好像问安就对我有什么了不起呢！”我姐姐如此说着，内心却充满了喜悦。
乔又盯视着我，好像又在努力回忆什么，然后说道：“郝维仙小姐希望在她的身体状况转好一些儿的时候她会——她想，皮普，她是说什么来的？”
“她会恭请。”我补充道。
“她会恭请夫人去。”乔说道，然后倒吸了一口长长的气。
“真棒！”我姐姐大声说道，用一种宽慰的眼光看着彭波契克先生。“她可算是懂礼貌的，她早该带来这个口信，虽说迟了一点，但迟到的消息总比没有要好。还有，她给这个小野东西什么没有？”
乔答道：“她什么也没有给他。”
我姐姐正准备发火，乔又接着说道：
“她倒是给了东西，但她给的是皮普的至亲，用她自己的话来说，‘所谓给皮普的至亲，就是交给他的姐姐，J．葛奇里夫人，而且要交在她的手中。’她就是这么说的，‘J．葛奇里夫人’。”乔好像沉思了片刻，又补充说道：“也许她不知道我的名字究竟是乔还是乔治，所以才用J的。”
我姐姐望着彭波契克，他正在抚摸着他那木制靠背椅的扶手，一会儿对她点点头，一会儿又看看炉火，仿佛他早就预料到了所发生的一切。
“你们究竟拿到多少钱？”我姐姐面带笑容地问道。确确实实是面带笑容！
“你们这里的各位说说看，十镑钱够了吗？”乔反问他们。
“十镑就不错了，”我姐姐简洁地答道，“当然不算太多，但已不错了。”
“那么就不止十镑，”乔说道。
那个可怕的骗子彭波契克立刻点点头，一面摸着椅子的两个扶手，一面说道：“夫人，是不止这个数目。”
“那，你的意思是不是说——”我姐姐说。
“是的，我是这个意思，夫人，”彭波契克说道，“不过先等一会儿。约瑟夫，你说下去。你真不错，说下去。”
乔又说道：“你们这里的各位说说看，H十镑怎么样？”
“那是一笔可观的金额了。”我姐姐答道。
“唔，可是还不止二十镑呢。”乔说道。
那个卑鄙的虚伪家伙彭波契克又点着他的头，带了一副恩人的面孔笑着说：“夫人，是不止这个数目。好样儿的！约瑟夫，你就告诉她吧。”
“那就告诉你实话吧，”乔满心欢喜地把钱袋子递给了姐姐，说，“一共是二十五镑。”
“夫人，这是二十五镑啊，”这个世上最可耻的骗子手彭波契克应声说道，“像你这样贤惠的夫人，受之无愧（过去问到我的看法，我都是这个回答）。我可恭喜你发财了！’他说着便和我姐姐握手道喜。
如果仅仅如此，他已经是可恶到了极点，可他偏不肯罢休，还得恶上加恶，紧抓住我不放，俨然以一个恩人自居。他表现出的恶行大大超过了刚才的一切。
“约瑟夫，你们夫妻二位瞧瞧，”彭波契克先生说着，抓住了我胳膊的上半部，“我就是这种办事认真的人，只要事情一开头，就要一抓到底。这个孩子一定得去当学徒。这是我的主张，把他送去当学徒。”
“彭波契克舅舅，”我姐姐说道（说时紧紧地抓住钱袋），“老天知道我是多么深切地感谢您啊！”
“夫人，小事一件，何足挂齿，”这个十恶不赦的粮食贩子答道，“天下一般，相助为乐。不过对于这个孩子，你看，一定得送去当学徒。我说过我得来管管这事，这是实在话。”
法院就设在镇公所的大楼里，离此地颇近。我们立即赶到那里去，要在威严的官老爷面前办好我和乔的师徒合同。我说得好听点，是赶到那里去，其实我是被彭波契克连推带拖地拉去的，好像我刚刚偷过人家袋中的钱，或者放火烧掉了一个草堆。确实，到了法庭，人家的印象是我因为作案被当场抓住了。彭波契克一路推着我穿过法庭中的人群，我听到有人说：“他犯了什么事？”又有人说：“这是个小孩子呢，可看上去就很坏，不是吗？”还有一位生着温和慈善面孔的人给了我一本因果报应的小册子，上面印着一幅木刻画，是一个邪恶的少年，身上的镣铐之多就像腊肠店中挂满了的腊肠，小册子的标题是：“牢中训戒。”
在我的眼里，镇公所是个古怪的地方，这里的座位比教堂中的座位更高，人们好像是挂在上面一样。有几个大法官倚靠在坐椅上，其中一个在头上扑了香粉。他们有的交叉着手臂，有的在嗅着鼻烟，还有的正在打瞌睡、在写字，或者在读报。镇公所的墙壁上挂了几幅油黑发亮的画，就我这个对艺术毫无欣赏能力的人来看，还以为是一个盛了杏仁糖和橡皮膏的大拼盘呢。就在镇公所里的一角，我的学徒合同正式签定，并办好了公证手续，于是我便“成了学徒”。彭波契克先生一直抓住我不松手，好像我是路过这里来办一些必要的小手续，然后就要被送往断头台处决一样。
办完一切后我们走出镇公所，摆脱了那帮看热闹的孩子。他们本来都怀着极大的兴趣来看我当众受拷问的，但是发现围在我旁边的都是我的至亲，于是不得不扫兴离开。我们回到彭波契克家。我姐姐因为有了二十五块金币高兴非凡，一定要从这笔横财中拿出一些来请大家吃饭，而且要到蓝野猪饭店去吃，还要彭波契克舅舅乘马车去把胡卜夫妇及沃甫赛先生一并请来。
大家对此是一致赞成，而这一天却是我遇到的最愁苦的日子。有些事真是不可思议，他们在心里竟都自鸣得意地认为，整个欢乐场合中唯有我是个多余的东西，更糟糕的是他们还要不断地问我这问我那。简而言之，只要他们一没事于，就会把我当成活靶子，问我为什么郁郁不欢。我确是郁郁不欢，可是又有什么办法呢，只能说我是挺快活的。
可他们都是大人了，可以想怎么于就怎么干，要怎么做就怎么做，那位喜欢骗人的彭波契克先生更是如此。大家捧他是创造仁爱的人，他就沾沾自喜得不可一世。他坐在桌子的首席上座，向大家高谈阔论着我的学徒成因，而且像恶魔似的幸灾乐祸地对大家大吹特吹，说以后如果我打牌、饮烈酒、夜晚返归，或者交上坏朋友，或者沉溺于违背合同规定的各种各样的恶习，就得被抓进牢房，他还让我站到他旁边的一张椅子上，作为他胡言乱语的一幅插图。
我还记得一些这次伟大宴会上的插曲。他们不让我睡觉，一看到我想打瞌睡，立刻就把我叫醒，要我找点儿快乐。那天弄得很晚，沃甫赛先生给大家唱了柯林斯的歌，慷慨激昂，把他那被血染污过的宝剑在雷电中抛下人间。这一吵闹招来了茶房，他说：“对不起，楼下的客人们向诸位问好，说这里不是摔跤打仗的地方。”后来我记得我们一行在回家的路上，高唱着《噢，丽人儿！》时，沃甫赛先生表演男低音，用非常强硬的语调回答领唱者态度极端无礼地提出的许多问题，想要知道每一个人的私事，说他是已经飘起白发之人，居然提出这些问题，看来在去天国的途中是进不了天国之门的。
最后，我还记得，我回到那间很小的卧室，感到十分的不快，心头涌现出一个强烈的信念：我再也不喜欢乔的那个行当了。过去我曾经喜欢过乔的行当，但现在已和过去不同了。
Chapter 14
IT is a most miserable thing to feel ashamed of home. There may be black ingratitude in the thing, and the punishment may be retributive and well deserved; but, that it is a miserable thing, I can testify. 
Home had never been a very pleasant place to me, because of my sister's temper. But, Joe had sanctified it, and I had believed in it. I had believed in the best parlour as a most elegant saloon; I had believed in the front door, as a mysterious portal of the Temple of State whose solemn opening was attended with a sacrifice of roast fowls; I had believed in the kitchen as a chaste though not magnificent apartment; I had believed in the forge as the glowing road to manhood and independence. Within a single year, all this was changed. Now, it was all coarse and common, and I would not have had Miss Havisham and Estella see it on any account.
How much of my ungracious condition of mind may have been my own fault, how much Miss Havisham's, how much my sister's, is now of no moment to me or to any one. The change was made in me; the thing was done. Well or ill done, excusably or inexcusably, it was done.
Once, it had seemed to me that when I should at last roll up my shirt-sleeves and go into the forge, Joe's 'prentice, I should be distinguished and happy. Now the reality was in my hold, I only felt that I was dusty with the dust of small coal, and that I had a weight upon my daily remembrance to which the anvil was a feather. There have been occasions in my later life (I suppose as in most lives) when I have felt for a time as if a thick curtain had fallen on all its interest and romance, to shut me out from anything save dull endurance any more. Never has that curtain dropped so heavy and blank, as when my way in life lay stretched out straight before me through the newly-entered road of apprenticeship to Joe.
I remember that at a later period of my `time,' I used to stand about the churchyard on Sunday evenings when night was falling, comparing my own perspective with the windy marsh view, and making out some likeness between them by thinking how flat and low both were, and how on both there came an unknown way and a dark mist and then the sea. I was quite as dejected on the first working-day of my apprenticeship as in that after-time; but I am glad to know that I never breathed a murmur to Joe while my indentures lasted. It is about the only thing I am glad to know of myself in that connection.
For, though it includes what I proceed to add, all the merit of what I proceed to add was Joe's. It was not because I was faithful, but because Joe was faithful, that I never ran away and went for a soldier or a sailor. It was not because I had a strong sense of the virtue of industry, but because Joe had a strong sense of the virtue of industry, that I worked with tolerable zeal against the grain. It is not possible to know how far the influence of any amiable honest-hearted duty-doing man flies out into the world; but it is very possible to know how it has touched one's self in going by, and I know right well, that any good that intermixed itself with my apprenticeship came of plain contented Joe, and not of restlessly aspiring discontented me.
What I wanted, who can say? How can I say, when I never knew? What I dreaded was, that in some unlucky hour I, being at my grimiest and commonest, should lift up my eyes and see Estella looking in at one of the wooden windows of the forge. I was haunted by the fear that she would, sooner or later, find me out, with a black face and hands, doing the coarsest part of my work, and would exult over me and despise me. Often after dark, when I was pulling the bellows for Joe, and we were singing Old Clem, and when the thought how we used to sing it at Miss Havisham's would seem to show me Estella's face in the fire, with her pretty hair fluttering in the wind and her eyes scorning me, - often at such a time I would look towards those panels of black night in the wall which the wooden windows then were, and would fancy that I saw her just drawing her face away, and would believe that she had come at last.
After that, when we went in to supper, the place and the meal would have a more homely look than ever, and I would feel more ashamed of home than ever, in my own ungracious breast.
 
对于自己的家感到羞愧是一件最为不幸的事情。可以说这是一种昧良心的忘恩负义，惩罚是报应，是理所应得的，但不管怎样，我敢保证，这是一件很不幸的事情。
对我说来，家永远不是一个快乐所在，这全因我姐姐的脾气所致。由于乔使家神圣化，所以我对于家还有信任感。过去，我曾经把那间最好的客厅当成最为精致的沙龙；我曾经把我们家的前门当作国庙神秘的大门，只要大门庄严开启，就会有烤禽等祭和献进；我曾经把那个灶间当作一处高雅的所在，虽然它不是那么富丽堂皇；我曾经把那铁匠铺当成锻炼人和走向独立成长之路的所在。然而，不过在一年之间，一切都已变化。现在，一切是那么粗糙、那么平常，我决不希望郝维仙小姐和埃斯苔娜看到这种境况。
我内心的这种冷漠情绪究竟有多少是由于我自己的错误而造成，有多少是来自郝维仙小姐的感染，有多少是因为我姐姐的脾气，无论对我还是对别人都已无关重要，因为事已如此。在我内心产生了这一变化，无论好或者坏，无论可原宥或者不可原宥，事已铸成，再也无可挽回。
过去，我一直很自信，只要等到那一天，我卷起衬衫袖口走进铁匠铺，当上乔的学徒，我一定十分神气，十分幸福。可如今，昔日的愿望已成现实，我满身的煤屑、灰尘，肮脏不堪；每日只要一追及往事，便感十分沉重，即使打铁的铁砧与之相比，也如羽毛一样轻。在我后来的生活历程中有过一些时候，仿佛有一片厚密的帷幕从天而降，把我的兴趣和罗曼蒂克的幻想扫得荡然无存，除掉灰暗沉闷的生活外，其他什么也没有。我想，除我之外，大部分人也会有过这类体验。可是，正当我踏上铺在我面前的一片人生道路，刚刚成为乔的学徒时，那从上面落下来的帷幕竟是如此沉重，如此空虚无聊，是其他任何时候的帷幕所难以相比的。
我不会忘记在我生活的那段时期，我时常于星期天的黄昏时分仁立在乡村的教堂墓地。当夜幕徐徐降临，我把个人的前景和那多风的沼泽地相比，两者倒有些相似之处，都是那么平庸单调，那么低贱微小，那么前途难以知晓，都只有一片迷茫的暗雾和汪洋的大海。刚刚开始学徒生涯时，我便显得垂头丧气、郁郁寡欢。不过，我所感到欣慰的是，我在学徒期间，对乔从来没有发过半句怨言。这也是我在整个学徒时期所感到的唯一欣慰之事。
之所以产生这样的效果是有其原因的，千因万因，一切的功劳都该属于乔。决不是由于我忠于职守，而是因为乔忠于职守，所以我才没有离家出走，参军作战，或者去当水手。我决没有勤劳这一健康的美德观念，应当说是乔的美德观念影响了我，所以我才在工作时具有说得过去的热情，没有任性。当然，我们很难了解一位温顺厚道、心地坦然、坚持职守的人究竟对这大千世界会带来多大的影响，但我们确能了解自己在和这种人相处时所受到的感染。由此，我非常清楚地明白，在我的学徒期间，如果说有些什么值得称道之事，都是和乔平凡朴素知足常乐的性格分不开的，而不是由于我自己的美德，因为我是一种见异思迁、野心过大和难以满足的人。
谁能够说得出我内心所想的是什么？连我自己也说不出，因为我不知道自己的理想。我所担心的是，在某个倒霉的时刻，我正干着最肮脏和最粗俗的活儿时，突然举目一望就发现埃斯苔娜从铁匠铺的木窗外向里面张望。时刻有一种可怕的念头袭击着我的脑海，即她或迟或早会发现我，看见我这张污黑的面孔和这双污黑的手，正干着最粗笨的活儿，于是对我就会表现得更加耀武扬威，把我看得更低三下四。天黑之后，我给乔拉着风箱，我们会一起唱《老克莱门之歌》。每逢这时，我就会想起在郝维仙小姐家中经常唱此歌的情景，于是埃斯苔娜的面孔便在炉火中浮现出来，她的一头秀发在风中飘荡着，双眼轻蔑地望着我。时常在这时候，我会情不自禁地望着木窗那边窗框勾勒出的一方方夜幕，幻想着仿佛看见她刚刚缩回面庞，并且相信她的面孔还会出现。
每逢下工后进屋就餐时，我就会感到这地方、这吃的东西愈来愈粗俗差劲。在我郁郁不欢的心中，愈来愈感到这个家使我羞愧难当。
Chapter 15
AS I was getting too big for Mr Wopsle's great-aunt's room, my education under that preposterous female terminated. Not, however, until Biddy had imparted to me everything she knew, from the little catalogue of prices, to a comic song she had once bought for a halfpenny. Although the only coherent part of the latter piece of literature were the opening lines, 
When I went to Lunnon town sirs, 
Too rul loo rul 
Too rul loo rul 
Wasn't I done very brown sirs? 
Too rul loo rul 
Too rul loo rul
- still, in my desire to be wiser, I got this composition by heart with the utmost gravity; nor do I recollect that I questioned its merit, except that I thought (as I still do) the amount of Too rul somewhat in excess of the poetry. In my hunger for information, I made proposals to Mr Wopsle to bestow some intellectual crumbs upon me; with which he kindly complied. As it turned out, however, that he only wanted me for a dramatic lay-figure, to be contradicted and embraced and wept over and bullied and clutched and stabbed and knocked about in a variety of ways, I soon declined that course of instruction; though not until Mr Wopsle in his poetic fury had severely mauled me. 
Whatever I acquired, I tried to impart to Joe. This statement sounds so well, that I cannot in my conscience let it pass unexplained. I wanted to make Joe less ignorant and common, that he might be worthier of my society and less open to Estella's reproach.
The old Battery out on the marshes was our place of study, and a broken slate and a short piece of slate pencil were our educational implements: to which Joe always added a pipe of tobacco. I never knew Joe to remember anything from one Sunday to another, or to acquire, under my tuition, any piece of information whatever. Yet he would smoke his pipe at the Battery with a far more sagacious air than anywhere else - even with a learned air - as if he considered himself to be advancing immensely. Dear fellow, I hope he did.
It was pleasant and quiet, out there with the sails on the river passing beyond the earthwork, and sometimes, when the tide was low, looking as if they belonged to sunken ships that were still sailing on at the bottom of the water. Whenever I watched the vessels standing out to sea with their white sails spread, I somehow thought of Miss Havisham and Estella; and whenever the light struck aslant, afar off, upon a cloud or sail or green hill-side or water-line, it was just the same. - Miss Havisham and Estella and the strange house and the strange life appeared to have something to do with everything that was picturesque.
One Sunday when Joe, greatly enjoying his pipe, had so plumed himself on being `most awful dull,' that I had given him up for the day, I lay on the earthwork for some time with my chin on my hand, descrying traces of Miss Havisham and Estella all over the prospect, in the sky and in the water, until at last I resolved to mention a thought concerning them that had been much in my head.
`Joe,' said I; `don't you think I ought to make Miss Havisham a visit?'
`Well, Pip,' returned Joe, slowly considering. `What for?'
`What for, Joe? What is any visit made for?'
`There is some wisits, p'r'aps,' said Joe, `as for ever remains open to the question, Pip. But in regard to wisiting Miss Havisham. She might think you wanted something - expected something of her.'
`Don't you think I might say that I did not, Joe?'
`You might, old chap,' said Joe. `And she might credit it. Similarly she mightn't.'
Joe felt, as I did, that he had made a point there, and he pulled hard at his pipe to keep himself from weakening it by repetition.
`You see, Pip,' Joe pursued, as soon as he was past that danger, `Miss Havisham done the handsome thing by you. When Miss Havisham done the handsome thing by you, she called me back to say to me as that were all.'
`Yes, Joe. I heard her.'
`ALL,' Joe repeated, very emphatically.
`Yes, Joe. I tell you, I heard her.'
`Which I meantersay, Pip, it might be that her meaning were - Make a end on it! - As you was! - Me to the North, and you to the South! - Keep in sunders!'
I had thought of that too, and it was very far from comforting to me to find that he had thought of it; for it seemed to render it more probable.
`But, Joe.'
`Yes, old chap.'
`Here am I, getting on in the first year of my time, and, since the day of my being bound, I have never thanked Miss Havisham, or asked after her, or shown that I remember her.'
`That's true, Pip; and unless you was to turn her out a set of shoes all four round - and which I meantersay as even a set of shoes all four round might not act acceptable as a present, in a total wacancy of hoofs--'
`I don't mean that sort of remembrance, Joe; I don't mean a present.'
But Joe had got the idea of a present in his head and must harp upon it. `Or even,' said he, `if you was helped to knocking her up a new chain for the front door - or say a gross or two of sharkheadedscrews for general use - or some light fancy article, such as a toasting-fork when she took her muffins - or a gridiron when she took a sprat or such like--'
`I don't mean any present at all, Joe,' I interposed.
`Well,' said Joe, still harping on it as though I had particularly pressed it, `if I was yourself, Pip, I wouldn't. No, I would not. For what's a door-chain when she's got one always up? And sharkheaders is open to misrepresentations. And if it was a toasting-fork, you'd go into brass and do yourself no credit. And the oncommonest workman can't show himself oncommon in a gridiron - for a gridiron IS a gridiron,' said Joe, steadfastly impressing it upon me, as if he were endeavouring to rouse me from a fixed delusion, `and you may haim at what you like, but a gridiron it will come out, either by your leave or again your leave, and you can't help yourself--'
`My dear Joe,' I cried, in desperation, taking hold of his coat, `don't go on in that way. I never thought of making Miss Havisham any present.'
`No, Pip,' Joe assented, as if he had been contending for that, all along; `and what I say to you is, you are right, Pip.'
`Yes, Joe; but what I wanted to say, was, that as we are rather slack just now, if you would give me a half-holiday to-morrow, I think I would go up-town and make a call on Miss Est - Havisham.'
`Which her name,' said Joe, gravely, `ain't Estavisham, Pip, unless she have been rechris'ened.'
`I know, Joe, I know. It was slip of mine. What do you think of it, Joe?'
In brief, Joe thought that if I thought well of it, he thought well of it. But, he was particular in stipulating that if I were not received with cordiality, or if I were not encouraged to repeat my visit as a visit which had no ulterior object but was simply one of gratitude for a favour received, then this experimental trip should have no successor. By these conditions I promised to abide.
Now, Joe kept a journeyman at weekly wages whose name was Orlick. He pretended that his christian name was Dolge - a clear impossibility - but he was a fellow of that obstinate disposition that I believe him to have been the prey of no delusion in this particular, but wilfully to have imposed that name upon the village as an affront to its understanding. He was a broadshouldered loose-limbed swarthy fellow of great strength, never in a hurry, and always slouching. He never even seemed to come to his work on purpose, but would slouch in as if by mere accident; and when he went to the Jolly Bargemen to eat his dinner, or went away at night, he would slouch out, like Cain or the Wandering Jew, as if he had no idea where he was going and no intention of ever coming back. He lodged at a sluice-keeper's out on the marshes, and on working days would come slouching from his hermitage, with his hands in his pockets and his dinner loosely tied in a bundle round his neck and dangling on his back. On Sundays he mostly lay all day on sluice-gates, or stood against ricks and barns. He always slouched, locomotively, with his eyes on the ground; and, when accosted or otherwise required to raise them, he looked up in a half resentful, half puzzled way, as though the only thought he ever had, was, that it was rather an odd and injurious fact that he should never be thinking.
This morose journeyman had no liking for me. When I was very small and timid, he gave me to understand that the Devil lived in a black corner of the forge, and that he knew the fiend very well: also that it was necessary to make up the fire, once in seven years, with a live boy, and that I might consider myself fuel. When I became Joe's 'prentice, Orlick was perhaps confirmed in some suspicion that I should displace him; howbeit, he liked me still less. Not that he ever said anything, or did anything, openly importing hostility; I only noticed that he always beat his sparks in my direction, and that whenever I sang Old Clem, he came in out of time.
Dolge Orlick was at work and present, next day, when I reminded Joe of my half-holiday. He said nothing at the moment, for he and Joe had just got a piece of hot iron between them, and I was at the bellows; but by-and-by he said, leaning on his hammer:
`Now, master! Sure you're not a going to favour only one of us. If Young Pip has a half-holiday, do as much for Old Orlick.' I suppose he was about five-and-twenty, but he usually spoke of himself as an ancient person.
`Why, what'll you do with a half-holiday, if you get it?' said Joe.
`What'll I do with it! What'll he do with it? I'll do as much with it as him,' said Orlick.
`As to Pip, he's going up-town,' said Joe.
`Well then, as to Old Orlick, he's a going up-town,' retorted that worthy. `Two can go up-town. Tan't only one wot can go up-town.
`Don't lose your temper,' said Joe.
`Shall if I like,' growled Orlick. `Some and their up-towning!Now, master! Come. No favouring in this shop. Be a man!'
The master refusing to entertain the subject until the journeyman was in a better temper, Orlick plunged at the furnace, drew out a red-hot bar, made at me with it as if he were going to run it through my body, whisked it round my head, laid it on the anvil, hammered it out - as if it were I, I thought, and the sparks were my spirting blood - and finally said, when he had hammered himself hot and the iron cold, and he again leaned on his hammer:
`Now, master!'
`Are you all right now?' demanded Joe.
`Ah! I am all right,' said gruff Old Orlick.
`Then, as in general you stick to your work as well as most men,' said Joe, `let it be a half-holiday for all.'
My sister had been standing silent in the yard, within hearing - she was a most unscrupulous spy and listener - and she instantly looked in at one of the windows.
`Like you, you fool!' said she to Joe, `giving holidays to great idle hulkers like that. You are a rich man, upon my life, to waste wages in that way. I wish I was his master!'
`You'd be everybody's master, if you durst,' retorted Orlick, with an ill-favoured grin.
(`Let her alone,' said Joe.)
`I'd be a match for all noodles and all rogues,' returned my sister, beginning to work herself into a mighty rage. `And I couldn't be a match for the noodles, without being a match for your master, who's the dunder-headed king of the noodles. And I couldn't be a match for the rogues, without being a match for you, who are the blackest-looking and the worst rogue between this and France. Now!'
`You're a foul shrew, Mother Gargery, growled the journeyman. `If that makes a judge of rogues, you ought to be a good'un.'
(`Let her alone, will you?' said Joe.)
`What did you say?' cried my sister, beginning to scream. `What did you say? What did that fellow Orlick say to me, Pip? What did he call me, with my husband standing by? O! O! O!' Each of these exclamations was a shriek; and I must remark of my sister, what is equally true of all the violent women I have ever seen, that passion was no excuse for her, because it is undeniable that instead of lapsing into passion, she consciously and deliberately took extraordinary pains to force herself into it, and became blindly furious by regular stages; `what was the name he gave me before the base man who swore to defend me? O! Hold me! O!'
`Ah-h-h!' growled the journeyman, between his teeth, `I'd hold you, if you was my wife. I'd hold you under the pump, and choke it out of you.'
(`I tell you, let her alone,' said Joe.)
`Oh! To hear him!' cried my sister, with a clap of her hands and a scream together - which was her next stage. `To hear the names he's giving me! That Orlick! In my own house! Me, a married woman! With my husband standing by! O! O!' Here my sister, after a fit of clappings and screamings, beat her hands upon her bosom and upon her knees, and threw her cap off, and pulled her hair down - which were the last stages on her road to frenzy. Being by this time a perfect Fury and a complete success, she made a dash at the door, which I had fortunately locked.
What could the wretched Joe do now, after his disregarded parenthetical interruptions, but stand up to his journeyman, and ask him what he meant by interfering betwixt himself and Mrs Joe; and further whether hè was man enough to come on? Old Orlick felt that the situation admitted of nothing less than coming on, and was on his defence straightway; so, without so much as pulling off their singed and burnt aprons, they went at one another, like two giants. But, if any man in that neighbourhood could stand up long against Joe, I never saw the man. Orlick, as if he had been of no more account than the pale young gentleman, was very soon among the coal-dust, and in no hurry to come out of it. Then, Joe unlocked the door and picked up my sister, who had dropped insensible at the window (but who had seen the fight first, I think), and who was carried into the house and laid down, and who was recommended to revive, and would do nothing but struggle and clench her hands in Joe's hair. Then, came that singular calm and silence which succeed all uproars; and then, with the vague sensation which I have always connected with such a lull - namely, that it was Sunday, and somebody was dead - I went up-stairs to dress myself.
When I came down again, I found Joe and Orlick sweeping up, without any other traces of discomposure than a slit in one of Orlick's nostrils, which was neither expressive nor ornamental. A pot of beer had appeared from the Jolly Bargemen, and they were sharing it by turns in a peaceable manner. The lull had a sedative and philosophical influence on Joe, who followed me out into the road to say, as a parting observation that might do me good, `On the Rampage, Pip, and off the Rampage, Pip - such is Life!'
With what absurd emotions (for, we think the feelings that are very serious in a man quite comical in a boy) I found myself again going to Miss Havisham's, matters little here. Nor, how I passed and repassed the gate many times before I could make up my mind to ring. Nor, how I debated whether I should go away without ringing; nor, how I should undoubtedly have gone, if my time had been my own, to come back.
Miss Sarah Pocket came to the gate. No Estella.
`How, then? You here again?' said Miss Pocket. `What do you want?'
When I said that I only came to see how Miss Havisham was, Sarah evidently deliberated whether or no she should send me about my business. But, unwilling to hazard the responsibility, she let me in, and presently brought the sharp message that I was to `come up.'
Everything was unchanged, and Miss Havisham was alone.
`Well?' said she, fixing her eyes upon me. `I hope you want nothing? You'll get nothing.'
`No, indeed, Miss Havisham. I only wanted you to know that I am doing very well in my apprenticeship, and am always much obliged to you.'
`There, there!' with the old restless fingers. `Come now and then; come on your birthday. - Ay!' she cried suddenly, turning herself and her chair towards me, `You are looking round for Estella? Hey?'
I had been looking round - in fact, for Estella - and I stammered that I hoped she was well.
`Abroad,' said Miss Havisham; `educating for a lady; far out of reach; prettier than ever; admired by all who see her. Do you feel that you have lost her?'
There was such a malignant enjoyment in her utterance of the last words, and she broke into such a disagreeable laugh, that I was at a loss what to say. She spared me the trouble of considering, by dismissing me. When the gate was closed upon me by Sarah of the walnut-shell countenance, I felt more than ever dissatisfied with my home and with my trade and with everything; and that was all I took by that motion.
As I was loitering along the High-street, looking in disconsolately at the shop windows, and thinking what I would buy if I were a gentleman, who should come out of the bookshop but Mr Wopsle. Mr Wopsle had in his hand the affecting tragedy of George Barnwell, in which he had that moment invested sixpence, with the view of heaping every word of it on the head of Pumblechook, with whom he was going to drink tea. No sooner did he see me, than he appeared to consider that a special Providence had put a 'prentice in his way to be read at; and he laid hold of me, and insisted on my accompanying him to the Pumblechookian parlour. As I knew it would be miserable at home, and as the nights were dark and the way was dreary, and almost any companionship on the road was better than none, I made no great resistance; consequently, we turned into Pumblechook's just as the street and the shops were lighting up.
As I never assisted at any other representation of George Barnwell, I don't know how long it may usually take; but I know very well that it took until half-past nine o' clock that night, and that when Mr Wopsle got into Newgate, I thought he never would go to the scaffold, he became so much slower than at any former period of his disgraceful career. I thought it a little too much that he should complain of being cut short in his flower after all, as if he had not been running to seed, leaf after leaf, ever since his course began. This, however, was a mere question of length and wearisomeness. What stung me, was the identification of the whole affair with my unoffending self. When Barnwell began to go wrong, I declare that I felt positively apologetic, Pumblechook's indignant stare so taxed me with it. Wopsle, too, took pains to present me in the worst light. At once ferocious and maudlin, I was made to murder my uncle with no extenuating circumstances whatever; Millwood put me down in argument, on every occasion; it became sheer monomania in my master's daughter to care a button for me; and all I can say for my gasping and procrastinating conduct on the fatal morning, is, that it was worthy of the general feebleness of my character. Even after I was happily hanged and Wopsle had closed the book, Pumblechook sat staring at me, and shaking his head, and saying, `Take warning, boy, take warning!' as if it were a well-known fact that I contemplated murdering a near relation, provided I could only induce one to have the weakness to become my benefactor.
It was a very dark night when it was all over, and when I set out with Mr. Wopsle on the walk home. Beyond town, we found a heavy mist out, and it fell wet and thick. The turnpike lamp was a blur, quite out of the lamp's usual place apparently, and its rays looked solid substance on the fog. We were noticing this, and saying how that the mist rose with a change of wind from a certain quarter of our marshes, when we came upon a man, slouching under the lee of the turnpike house.
`Halloa!' we said, stopping. `Orlick, there?'
`Ah!' he answered, slouching out. `I was standing by, a minute, on the chance of company.'
`You are late,' I remarked.
Orlick not unnaturally answered, `Well? And you're late.'
`We have been,' said Mr Wopsle, exalted with his late performance, `we have been indulging, Mr Orlick, in an intellectual evening.'
Old Orlick growled, as if he had nothing to say about that, and we all went on together. I asked him presently whether he had been spending his half-holiday up and down town?
`Yes,' said he, `all of it. I come in behind yourself. I didn't see you, but I must have been pretty close behind you. By-the-bye, the guns is going again.'
`At the Hulks?' said I.
`Ay! There's some of the birds flown from the cages. The guns have been going since dark, about. You'll hear one presently.'
In effect, we had not walked many yards further, when the wellremembered boom came towards us, deadened by the mist, and heavily rolled away along the low grounds by the river, as if it were pursuing and threatening the fugitives.
`A good night for cutting off in,' said Orlick. `We'd be puzzled how to bring down a jail-bird on the wing, to-night.'
The subject was a suggestive one to me, and I thought about it in silence. Mr Wopsle, as the ill-requited uncle of the evening's tragedy, fell to meditating aloud in his garden at Camberwell. Orlick, with his hands in his pockets, slouched heavily at my side. It was very dark, very wet, very muddy, and so we splashed along. Now and then, the sound of the signal cannon broke upon us again, and again rolled sulkily along the course of the river. I kept myself to myself and my thoughts. Mr Wopsle died amiably at Camberwell, and exceedingly game on Bosworth Field, and in the greatest agonies at Glastonbury. Orlick sometimes growled, `Beat it out, beat it out - Old Clem! With a clink for the stout - Old Clem!' I thought he had been drinking, but he was not drunk.
Thus, we came to the village. The way by which we approached it, took us past the Three Jolly Bargemen, which we were surprised to find - it being eleven o'clock - in a state of commotion, with the door wide open, and unwonted lights that had been hastily caught up and put down, scattered about. Mr Wopsle dropped in to ask what was the matter (surmising that a convict had been taken), but came running out in a great hurry.
`There's something wrong,' said he, without stopping, `up at your place, Pip. Run all!'
`What is it?' I asked, keeping up with him. So did Orlick, at my side.
`I can't quite understand. The house seems to have been violently entered when Joe Gargery was out. Supposed by convicts. Somebody has been attacked and hurt.'
We were running too fast to admit of more being said, and we made no stop until we got into our kitchen. It was full of people; the whole village was there, or in the yard; and there was a surgeon, and there was Joe, and there was a group of women, all on the floor in the midst of the kitchen. The unemployed bystanders drew back when they saw me, and so I became aware of my sister - lying without sense or movement on the bare boards where she had been knocked down by a tremendous blow on the back of the head, dealt by some unknown hand when her face was turned towards the fire - destined never to be on the Rampage again, while she was the wife of Joe.
 
慢慢地我人长大了，所以再不能到沃甫赛先生的姑婆办的学校中去读书，于是我在这位愚蠢女人指导下的学习便告一段落。不过，真正结束我的学业还要等毕蒂把她知道的学问全部传授给我为止。她传授给我的有她的小价目表，还有她用半个便士买来的滑稽可笑的小曲。其实这小曲中也只有开头的几行还有些连贯性：
我前次去到伦敦镇，吐－路－噜－路吐－路－噜－路我被人家欺骗一顿。吐－路－噜－路吐－路－噜－路
当然，从我个人希望变得聪明的愿望出发，我非常认真地把这篇诗作背熟。回想起来，我也并未对这篇诗作的成就产生疑问，不过有一点，我过去和现在都认为其中的“吐－路”太多了，这对诗总有些影响。那时我渴求获得知识，所以请求沃甫赛先生能够赐一些精神食粮给我充饥，他也乐意接受我的请求。结果，他把我当成舞台上的傀儡处理。我被用来供他骂、供他抱、供他相对落泪、供他威胁、供他捏、供他刺、供他全身乱打，所以我不得不赶忙谢绝了他的教导。即使这样，我已经被沃甫赛先生在诗兴的激愤中弄得伤痕累累。
凡我知道的东西，我都要想尽办法让乔学会。我这话听起来挺好听的，所以我不能说一遍就算了，应当表白一番。其实我是想使乔不那么无知无识，不那么粗俗平常，使他在日常社会中有身价，而且少挨埃斯苔娜的羞辱。
沼泽地上的那座古炮台就是我们读书写字的地方，我们的文房宝贝是一块破了的石板、一支半截头的石笔，不过乔还要再添加一支烟斗。我深深了解，在我的教导下乔根本没有学到什么东西，因为这个星期学的东西，下个星期他又忘掉了。不过，他坐在炮台旁抽起烟来的那种神情比在任何其他的地方抽烟更显聪明智慧，颇有一种学者的气度，仿佛他觉得自己在学问方面已有大幅度的长进。我多么希望我亲爱的老伙计真的如此啊！
坐在古炮台那里不仅心旷神信而且顿感静穆。那边河中的点点风帆高耸过河堤，移动而去；落潮时分，行舟又仿佛都沉入了水底，行走在河谷之中。只要我一眼看到水上的船只张满白帆缓缓而行，我的脑际便浮现了郝维仙小姐及埃斯苔娜的身影；只要那夕阳开始西斜，映照着云朵、船帆、苍翠青山或是船边吃水线，她们的身影也会浮现在我的脑际。郝维仙小姐、埃斯苔娜、那奇怪的宅邸、那古怪的生活仿佛和每一件美丽的自然景物都有千丝万缕的联系。
有一个星期天，乔高兴地享受着他的烟斗，特别夸大地说他“实在笨得可怕”，所以我不得不让他停学一天。我在炮台的土堆上躺了一会儿，用手托着下巴，想从高高云天和远远河水中寻找郝维仙小姐及埃斯苔娜的痕迹。我眺望着一片景致，最后下定决心把那一直萦绕在心头的有关她们的念头讲出来。
“乔，”我说道，“你不认为我该去看看郝维仙小姐吗？”
“嗯，皮普，”乔缓慢地思考着问道，“去看她干啥？”
“乔，去看她干啥？难道不可以去看看她吗？”
“你自然是可以去看她的，”乔说道，“不过这里有些问题要考虑。你去看望郝维仙小姐，这一点不错，但是她会想到你去是为了想要东西，期望从她那里得到什么。”
“乔，你不认为我会告诉她我不是去要东西的吗？”
“我的老弟，你可以这么说，”乔说道，“不过，她可以相信你，同样也可以不相信你。”
乔感到自己说得十分中肯，我也是这么想的。他用力地抽着烟斗，不再重复，以免重复反而减弱他语言的作用。
“皮普，你应该明白，”乔停了一会儿，感到他的话对我已起了作用，便又说道，“郝维仙小姐对你可算是慷慨的了。郝维仙小姐那么慷慨地给了你钱以后，特地又把我叫回去叮嘱我说一共就那么多。”
“是的，乔，我听到了她的话。”
乔非常着重地又重复了一遍：“一共就那么多。”
“是的，乔，我已经告诉你我听到了她说的话。”
“皮普，我是想告诉你，她的意思也许是从此一切都结束了！你在她家的事也了结了！我走我的阳关道，你走你的独木桥！从此不管天南地北，一刀两断！”
我本来也想到这个问题，现在发现他也这么想，这的确使我感到很难过，因为这就是说事情完全可能是那样的。
“不过，乔。”
“什么，我的老弟？”
“自从和你签定师徒合同后，已差不多快有一年的时间了，我还没有感谢过郝维仙小姐，也没有向她问过安，也没有对她表示过怀念之情。”
“你说的这倒是事实，皮普。我看你还是打一副马蹄铁送给她，这是我的意思。不过，你即使为她打了一副马蹄铁，她又没有马，接受这份礼物也没有用——”
“乔，我所说的怀念之情不是这个，我不是指要送她礼物。”
但在乔的头脑里装的却是不同的念头，都和礼物有关，使他唠唠叨叨地反复讲下去。他说道：“要么我来帮你为她敲出一条新链条，给她锁大门，或者为她打一两打鲨鱼头形状的螺丝钉，以便日常之用，或者打一些轻巧新奇的小玩意儿，比如烤面包叉，她可以用来叉松饼，还可以打一个铁格子烤架，她可以用来烤西鲱鱼或者其他什么——”
“乔，我根本不想送她什么礼物。”我插言道。
“是啊，”乔说道，仍然翻来覆去讲他的那一套，好像是我一再逼他讲的一样，“皮普，如果我是你的话，我不会送礼。不会，我不会送礼。因为她那大门上永远锁着一副链子，何必再为她打一副呢？鲨鱼头形的螺丝钉又怕引起误解，烤面包叉又少不了铜匠师父的活儿，你是打不好的。如果送铁格子烤架，即使是最好的打铁师父打烤架时也表现不出他最好的手艺，因为铁格子烤架就是铁格子烤架，没有什么特别的地方。”乔有条不紊地想打动我的心，仿佛要尽最大的努力把我从固执的谬误中唤醒。“不管你用什么方法去打，打出的只是一个铁格子烤架，随你高兴还是不高兴也无济于事——”
我无法可想，只有大声叫道：“我亲爱的乔，你不要再这样说下去了。我压根儿就没有想过要送郝维仙小姐什么礼物。”
“皮普，你不想送礼，我所说的也是不要送礼，皮普，你是正确的。”乔这才同意道，仿佛他争论了半天也正是为了这个结论。
“对，乔，但是我所说的意思是现在我们的打铁活儿不算多，说不定明天上午你能放我半天的假，那么我就想到镇上去一趟，去看看埃斯——郝维仙小姐。”
“她的名字可不是埃斯郝维仙啊，皮普，除非她改了名字。”
“我知道，乔，我知道，这是我一时的口误。乔，你看我的计划怎么样？”
简而言之，乔的想法是，只要我认为是行之有效的，他也就认为行之有效，但是他特别要我注意的是：如果她们不是诚心诚意接待我，或者她们并不表示要我再去，即使我去看她们没有抱什么别的目的，仅仅为了感恩而已，那么这次试探性的拜访就说明不能再去第二次。他说的这些条件我都答应了。
当时乔还雇了一名伙计，叫做奥立克，每周付给他工资。他自己称他的教名是陶尔基，这显而易见是不可能的。这个家伙性格顽固，所以我认为他用这个名字不是由于一时的妄想，而是故意地把这个名字强加给村子里的人，利用这名字中的含意来侮辱村民。他是一个肩膀宽大、四肢懒散的黑脸汉，力气挺大，可干事从来都不慌不忙，永远是拖拖拉拉的。他上工从来都不是为了上工而来的，倒好像是路过此地，慢慢地信步走进来似的。无论他是到三个快乐的船夫酒店去吃午饭或是晚上回家，也总是那么拖拖拉拉，倒有些像《圣经》中的该隐以及那位漂泊的犹太人，仿佛不知道上哪儿去，也根本没有回家的想法。他寄住在沼泽地那边的一个管水闸的家中，在该上工的日子里，他从他隐居的所在拖拖拉拉地走来，两只手放在口袋里，中饭装在一只袋子中，袋子套在脖子上，在背后晃晃荡荡的。每逢星期天，他多半躺在水闸堤上，要么站在那里把身子靠在草堆上或堆草房旁。他走路总是懒懒散散的，两只眼睛盯在地上。如果有人和他打招呼或有其他什么事需要他抬起眼睛，他便显露出一半愠怒一半不知所措的样子，仿佛他唯一的想法是别人从来不让他思想，这简直是一件怪事，也是对他的侮辱。
这个脾气难弄的伙计很不喜欢我。在我很小而且又十分胆小的时候，他对我说魔鬼就住在铁匠铺里的一个黑暗角落，说他和魔鬼很熟悉。他还说，要保持炉火旺，每隔七年就必须把一个活男孩丢进炉子，使我觉得我一定是要被丢进炉子里的男孩了。在我成了乔的学徒之后，奥立克便确定了某种怀疑，认为我总有一天要把他取而代之，自然对我就更加不喜欢了。当然这不是说他在言语上或行为上对我表现出了什么公开的敌视，只不过我注意到他打铁时总是让火星在我身前乱溅，只要我一唱起老克莱门的曲子，他便拉着嗓子把调门打乱。
第二天我提醒乔给我半天假时，在场的陶尔基•奥立克正在干活，也听见了。他先是没有言语，因为当时他正和乔合力打一块火红的热铁，而我在拉风箱。不一会，他处理好热铁，便撑在大铁锤上说：
“老板！你对待我们两个人总不该偏爱一个，慢怠另一个吧。既然小皮普得准半天假，那么老奥立克也该准半天假。”我猜他不过才二十五岁，可他总把自己说成是七老八十的人。
“怎么，你也要半天假？你这半天要干什么事？”乔说道。
“问我这半天假要干什么？那么他要半天假又干什么？我要干的事就是他要干的事。”奥立克说道。
“问皮普么，他要到镇上去。”乔说道。
“好，老奥立克嘛，也要到镇上去。”真是棋逢对手，来一句驳一句。“两个人都可以到镇上去，不能只许一人去镇上。”
“用不着发火。”乔说道。
“我喜欢发火就发火，”奥立克咆哮起来，“有人就可以到镇上去！有人就不可以！得了，老板！一个铺子里不能两种待遇。你可得做一个堂堂正正的男子汉！”
老板根本不理他这个茬儿，除非这位伙计先把火气消了。这时，奥立克突然奔向了熔铁炉，钳出了一块烧得通红的铁条直向我捅过来，简直想捅穿我的身体。就在一霎间，他把它在我头上一转便落到了铁砧上，然后便锤打起来。他锤打着铁条，好像那铁条就是我一样，溅出的火星就像我身上溅出的血。打到最后他混身发热，而铁条已变冷，于是他又撑在他的铁锤上，说道：
“老板！”
“你现在气消了吗？”乔问道。
“噢！都消了。”老奥立克粗声粗气地说道。
“那么，看你工作的样子和别人一样还是勤勤恳恳的，就让你们都放半天假吧。”乔说道。
这时，我姐姐一直悄悄地站在院子里偷听。她总是什么也不顾地想尽办法打探偷听。听到这里，她便从一个窗口探进头来。
“真亏你这个蠢货！”她对着乔骂道，“给这么个懒惰的家伙放假。难道你是个百万富翁，就这样白白浪费了工资？我要是他的老板就绝不会这样！”
“只要你敢，你自然会做所有人的老板。”奥立克不怀善意地嘻笑着反驳道。
（“随她去。”乔说道。）
“所有的笨蛋和坏蛋我都敢碰，”我姐姐的火气开始越来越旺，说道，“我既然能够碰一切笨蛋，当然就能碰你的老板，他是所有笨蛋中的大笨蛋。我既然能碰一切的坏蛋，当然就能碰你这个坏蛋，你是这里和法兰西最黑心肠的最坏的坏蛋。哼！”
“你是个臭泼妇，葛奇里老太婆，”这个伙计咆哮道，“坏蛋才识坏蛋，你也不过是个大坏蛋。”
（“随她去好不好？”乔说道。）
“你说什么？”我姐姐大喊大嚷，音调尖利。“你说的是什么话？皮普，奥立克这个家伙在对我说什么？他称呼我什么？竟敢当着我丈夫的面这样骂我？好啊！好啊！好啊！”我姐姐声声哭号、声声尖厉。在我看来是我姐姐的不是，她和我所见过的一切暴怒无常的妇女都一样，她的这种脾气是不该原宥的。因为她的脾气不是正常发的，而明明白白是有意识的，是几经盘算的，是强使自己发的脾气，最后越发越厉害，以致不可收拾。“他骂我什么？居然在我丈夫面前骂我，我这个无用的丈夫，亏他还发过誓要保护我的。啊！快来抱住我！啊！”
“嗳，嗳——！”这个伙计咆哮着，咬牙切齿地说道，“你要是我的老婆，我会来抱你，我会把你抱到水泵下面，用水把你浇死。”
（“我告诉你随她去。”乔说道。）
“好啊！你们听！”我姐姐哭闹着，一面拍手一面尖叫。这时她的脾气进入到了第二个阶段。“你们听他骂我骂得那么难听！这个奥立克！竟然在我自己家中！竟然敢骂一个已成了家的女人！竟然还当着我丈夫的面！好，好！”我姐姐拍手尖叫了一阵之后，又捶胸口，又捶膝盖，然后把帽子摔掉，又乱扯自己的头发。这时她的脾气已发展到了最后一个阶段，完全达到了疯狂的程度。这时，她扮演的一个十足的狂乱形象已登峰造极了，于是朝门作最后的冲刺，所幸我已把门锁上了。
可怜的乔，刚才的一些插话什么作用也没起，别人也不理他，现在他该怎么办呢？他只有勇敢地面对他的伙计，责问奥立克干涉他自己和乔夫人的事有什么用意，还说如果奥立克是个男子汉，敢不敢和他比试一下，看看谁高谁低。老奥立克感到情况不妙，除了动武之外别无他法，于是便摆开了防卫的架势。他们连那烤焦了的破烂围裙都没有脱掉，就像两个巨人一样地扭打起来。在附近一带，我还没有见过有谁能经得起和乔交手。奥立克就好像上次和我比试的那位苍白面孔的少年绅士一样，根本不是乔的对手，没有几下就被打翻在煤灰之中，甚至都爬不起来了。乔这才打开门，出去把我姐姐扶起来。她早昏倒在窗口那儿了（我想，她一定看到了动武的场面）。乔把她扶进屋中，让她平躺下来。她在劝慰下恢复了精神，于是挣扎着用两手使劲地扯住乔的头发。接下去是一片安静，一场吵闹场面终于结束。这时，我脑海中有一种模糊的感觉，这种感觉每逢极度喧闹之后的宁静时刻便会出现，觉得多像是星期天，又像是有什么人死去。于是我上楼去换衣服。
从楼上下来时，我看见乔和奥立克正在打扫。一场不平静的风波已然消逝。除掉奥立克鼻孔上的一个裂口外，什么痕迹也没有留下。当然，鼻孔上的裂口既无深刻的意义，又无光彩。他们从三个快乐的船夫酒店买来了一大壶啤酒，正在平静地轮流把盏，共同分享。这一平静时刻对乔的影响不仅是使他显得心平气和，而且也具有某种哲人风范。乔跟着我走出来，在路上好像临别赠言般地对我说：“一会儿是大吵大闹，一会又不大吵大闹，皮普，人生也就是如此！”
我又一次向郝维仙小姐的家中走去，所怀之情绪是如何荒唐在此无须细言。反正这种情感对于一个成年人来讲本是很严肃的，而换成一个孩子便显得滑稽可笑。至于在我下定决心按铃之前在她家门口来来回回走了多少次也无须细言。至于我是如何斗争再三，是否不按铃即离去，以及如果我能够支配自己的时间，无疑我一定会立刻回家，等等，也都无须在此细言。
莎娜•鄱凯特小姐来到了门口。埃斯苔娜却没有出现。
“是你？你怎么又来了？”鄱凯特小姐说道，“你来有什么事吗？”
我说我来只是为了看望郝维仙小姐。显然她听了我说的话后考虑了一会儿是否应该打发我走，但是她也不愿意冒着担责任的危险这样做，最后还是放我进去了。没有多久便传出简短的口讯，叫我“上来”。
房中的一切仍原封未动，郝维仙小姐一个人在那儿。
“你来了！”她把目光盯住我说道，“我想你不是来要什么的吧？我可没有什么给你。”
“郝维仙小姐，我不是来要东西的。我只是想告诉您我当学徒了，干得很好，而且非常感谢您。”
“得了，得了！”她还是老样子，不耐烦地挥动着手指。“有空就来玩吧，在你生日那天来。——哎呀！”她突然叫喊了一声，连人带椅一齐都转向了我，说，“你东张西望，是不是在找埃斯苔娜？是吗？”
我是在东张西望，确实是在找埃斯苔娜，于是只得结结巴巴地说我希望她身体健康。
“出国啦，”郝维仙小姐说道，“去接受上流社会的小姐所必需的教育去了，很远很远；现在可比过去更漂亮了，凡是看到她的人都仰慕她。你是不是感到看不见她有些失落感？”
她最后一句话里暗含着一种幸灾乐祸的情绪，说后还发出一阵令人不愉快的笑声，使我慌乱得不知该怎样回答，幸亏她马上叫我回去，免除了我的尴尬。那位胡桃壳般面孔的莎娜关上大门后，我所感到的是对我的家、对我所学的行业、对一切的一切都比以往更加不满意，而这些便是我此次造访的全部收获。
我正沿着大街闲逛，郁郁不乐地浏览着店铺的橱窗，想着如果我是个上流社会的绅士，我会买些什么呢？就在这时，从书店里走出一个人，正是沃甫赛先生。沃甫赛先生的手中拿着一本情浓意深的悲剧，描写了学徒出身的乔治•巴恩威尔的身世。这是他刚才花了六个便士的价钱买来的，正准备去彭波契克那里和他一起饮茶，并且把这个悲剧中的每一个词都原封不动地读进彭波契克的大脑中去。他一看到我便立刻想到这简直是天赐良机，正好对着一个学徒的来读一读一个学徒的悲剧，于是他一把逮住了我，坚持要我陪他一起到彭波契克的客厅去。我想，家中也是挺凄凉的，夜晚黑暗，路上又沉闷，现在有个同行的伙伴总比没有好，所以我没有拒绝。我们来到彭波契克家中，正是街道和店铺开始上灯时分。
我从来没有欣赏过《乔治•巴恩威尔》这出悲剧的演出，也不知道演出要花多少时间。但是这一天晚上我非常清楚，朗诵直到九点半才结束。当沃甫赛先生读到巴恩威尔进入新门监狱时，我想他是永远上不了绞刑架了。他一人监狱之后，描写便大肆铺开，比他可耻一生的前一阶段要细致人微得多。他报怨自己正当风华正茂时刻，却被摧残得毫无生气。我认为这些都太过分了，仿佛他花苞刚放，尚未结果，便叶落飘零，也即是在人生道路刚开始便向衰败过渡了。不过，这些只是使人感到冗长和令人厌倦，而刺痛了我的却是他们把剧中的情节和无辜的我联系起来。巴恩威尔刚开始走上歧途时，彭波契克就用愤怒的目光盯住我，仿佛是在谴责我，令我不得不感到十分的委屈。沃甫赛也卖力地想把我说成是最大的坏蛋。在他们眼中，我立刻变成了惨无人性又常流泪的人，成为杀不可赦的谋害伯父的人；似乎那个叫密尔伍德的妓女每一次都用她的花言巧语打动了我；那位老板女儿的偏爱狂又倾注在我的身上，对我一切的错事都毫不介意；在那个致命的早晨，我气喘喘地不敢动手，一直迟疑了好久，对此我所能说的就是这表现出我性格中存在着人性普遍的软弱面。终于，沃甫赛读完了这个悲剧，我也在他们眼中被处了绞刑。我当然对此感到幸运，不过，彭波契克还是坐在那里用眼睛瞪着我，摇着头，说道：“引以为戒啊，孩子，要引以为戒啊！”好像大家都知道，只要我掌握了一个至亲的弱点，使他信任我而成为我的恩主，我就会想方设法谋害他一样。
整个朗诵表演结束后，我和沃甫赛先生出发返家，这时天已完全漆黑一片。一出镇便只见大雾迷漫，很湿很浓，关口上射出的灯光昏暗模糊，看上去灯已经不在原来的地方，所射出的光也好像是雾气上实实在在的东西。我们注意到这点，谈论着风向一转变，雾气就从我们那边沼泽地的某个地方弥漫开来了。正在谈话时，我们遇到一个躲在关卡所背风面懒洋洋站着的人。
“喂！”我们停下来问道，“那边走的是奥立克吗？”
“嗳！”他答着，慢吞吞地走出来，“我刚才站在那儿，只一会儿，想等个同路人。”
“你这也太晚了。”我说道。
奥立克不当一回事地说：“是吗？你不是也太晚了吗？”
“我们刚才，”沃甫赛先生因为自己的杰出表演而非常高兴，说道，“奥立克先生，我们刚才沉溺在高尚的文化娱乐之中。”
老奥立克像狗一样地嘟嘟哝哝了几声，好像对沃甫赛说的事没有评论的必要。我们三人一同走着。过了一会儿，我问奥立克是不是这半天假都在镇上消磨掉了。
“是啊，”他答道，“整个半天假都在镇上度过。你前脚走，我后脚便跟了来。我虽没有看到你，说不定一直离你不远。你听，又在响炮了。”
“是监狱船上放炮吗？”我问道。
“嗯！又有几个鸟儿从牢笼中逃走了。天黑以来，炮声就连续不断。待会儿你就又会听到开炮的。”
所说不假，我们还没有走出几码远，一声熟悉的炮响就轰鸣着迎面传来，在浓雾中显得略为嘶哑，并且沿着河边的低地沉闷地滚动而去，仿佛正在追赶着逃犯，并且在恐吓着他们。
“多么美好的黑夜被炮声破坏了，”奥立克说道，“我真怀疑今天晚上他们怎么样把从笼中逃出的飞鸟射下来。”
这一话题触动了我的心，于是我默默地想起心思来。而沃甫赛先生，这时俨然是今天晚上那出悲剧中的伯父，由于出自真心，但没有得到好报，好像正在坎布威尔他自己的花园中大声地冥思默想。至于奥立克，他双手放在插袋里，拖着沉重的脚步在我身边慢慢地走着。这时，天色非常黑暗，非常潮湿，地上又非常泥泞，我们一面走，一面在泥地上溅出哗啦哗啦的水声。不时地，在我们前方又发出了信号炮弹的声音，又沿着河边低地沉闷地滚动而去。我只顾自己行走并想着心事。沃甫赛先生在他那大声的冥思默想中已死过三次，和蔼地死于坎布威尔，拼命争战地死于波斯华斯田野，历尽痛苦地死于格拉斯伯利。奥立克有时嘟哝着：“加劲打啊，加劲打啊，老克莱门！举起有力的臂膀，用力打啊，老克莱门！”我想他一定喝了酒，但是没有喝醉。
我们就这样回到村子。沿路经过三个快乐的船夫酒店时，已经是十一点钟了，可是店里十分忙乱，使我们大为吃惊。酒店的门大开着，亮着和平常不同的烛光，看来都是在匆忙之中点着也在匆忙之中放在那儿的，而且散放在四处。沃甫赛先生一头钻了进去，想打探一下究竟发生了什么事，以为一定是抓住了逃犯。他进去后只一眨眼的功夫就出来了，而且是慌忙跑出来的。
他脚步没停，对我说道：“皮普，你家里出了事，快跑回去吧！”
“出了什么事？”我紧跟上他问道。奥立克也紧跟在我的旁边。
“我也不很清楚，好像是乔•葛奇里不在家的时候有人进去干了坏事，看来是逃犯干的。你们家有人被打伤了。”
我们只顾拼命地跑，也就没有心思再谈什么了。我们匆匆忙忙没有停留地一口气跑进了厨房。这时，厨房里挤满了人，全村的人都来了，还有些人站在院子里。厨房里有一个外科医生，乔也在那里，还有不少妇女。他们都站着。这些不请自到的人们一看到我便退向两侧让我进去。这时，我才知道我姐姐出了事情。她现在躺在光光的地板上，全无意识，一动不动。原来，在她面对着炉火时，不知道什么人在她后脑上狠狠地打了一记，把她打昏在地。她作为乔的妻子，现在已经命中注定，再也不能对他胡乱指责、暴跳如雷了。
Chapter 16
WITH my head full of George Barnwell, I was at first disposed to believe that I must have had some hand in the attack upon my sister, or at all events that as her near relation, popularly known to be under obligations to her, I was a more legitimate object of suspicion than any one else. But when, in the clearer light of next morning, I began to reconsider the matter and to hear it discussed around me on all sides, I took another view of the case, which was more reasonable. 
Joe had been at the Three Jolly Bargemen, smoking his pipe, from a quarter after eight o'clock to a quarter before ten. While he was there, my sister had been seen standing at the kitchen door, and had exchanged Good Night with a farm-labourer going home. The man could not be more particular as to the time at which he saw her (he got into dense confusion when he tried to be), than that it must have been before nine. When Joe went home at five minutes before ten, he found her struck down on the floor, and promptly called in assistance. The fire had not then burnt unusually low, nor was the snuff of the candle very long; the candle, however, had been blown out.
Nothing had been taken away from any part of the house. Neither, beyond the blowing out of the candle - which stood on a table between the door and my sister, and was behind her when she stood facing the fire and was struck - was there any disarrangement of the kitchen, excepting such as she herself had made, in falling and bleeding. But, there was one remarkable piece of evidence on the spot. She had been struck with something blunt and heavy, on the head and spine; after the blows were dealt, something heavy had been thrown down at her with considerable violence, as she lay on her face. And on the ground beside her, when Joe picked her up, was a convict's leg-iron which had been filed asunder.
Now, Joe, examining this iron with a smith's eye, declared it to have been filed asunder some time ago. The hue and cry going off to the Hulks, and people coming thence to examine the iron, Joe's opinion was corroborated. They did not undertake to say when it had left the prison-ships to which it undoubtedly had once belonged; but they claimed to know for certain that that particular manacle had not been worn by either of two convicts who had escaped last night. Further, one of those two was already re-taken, and had not freed himself of his iron.
Knowing what I knew, I set up an inference of my own here. I believed the iron to be my convict's iron - the iron I had seen and heard him filing at, on the marshes - but my mind did not accuse him of having put it to its latest use. For, I believed one of two other persons to have become possessed of it, and to have turned it to this cruel account. Either Orlick, or the strange man who had shown me the file.
Now, as to Orlick; he had gone to town exactly as he told us when we picked him up at the turnpike, he had been seen about town all the evening, he had been in divers companies in several public-houses, and he had come back with myself and Mr Wopsle. There was nothing against him, save the quarrel; and my sister had quarrelled with him, and with everybody else about her, ten thousand times. As to the strange man; if he had come back for his two bank-notes there could have been no dispute about them, because my sister was fully prepared to restore them. Besides, there had been no altercation; the assailant had come in so silently and suddenly, that she had been felled before she could look round.
It was horrible to think that I had provided the weapon, however undesignedly, but I could hardly think otherwise. I suffered unspeakable trouble while I considered and reconsidered whether I should at last dissolve that spell of my childhood, and tell Joe all the story. For months afterwards, I every day settled the question finally in the negative, and reopened and reargued it next morning. The contention came, after all, to this; - the secret was such an old one now, had so grown into me and become a part of myself, that I could not tear it away. In addition to the dread that, having led up to so much mischief, it would be now more likely than ever to alienate Joe from me if he believed it, I had a further restraining dread that he would not believe it, but would assort it with the fabulous dogs and veal-cutlets as a monstrous invention. However, I temporized with myself, of course - for, was I not wavering between right and wrong, when the thing is always done? - and resolved to make a full disclosure if I should see any such new occasion as a new chance of helping in the discovery of the assailant.
The Constables, and the Bow Street men from London - for, this happened in the days of the extinct red-waistcoated police - were about the house for a week or two, and did pretty much what I have heard and read of like authorities doing in other such cases. They took up several obviously wrong people, and they ran their heads very hard against wrong ideas, and persisted in trying to fit the circumstances to the ideas, instead of trying to extract ideas from the circumstances. Also, they stood about the door of the Jolly Bargemen, with knowing and reserved looks that filled the whole neighbourhood with admiration; and they had a mysterious manner of taking their drink, that was almost as good as taking the culprit. But not quite, for they never did it.
Long after these constitutional powers had dispersed, my sister lay very ill in bed. Her sight was disturbed, so that she saw objects multiplied, and grasped at visionary teacups and wine-glasses instead of the realities; her hearing was greatly impaired; her memory also; and her speech was unintelligible. When, at last, she came round so far as to be helped down-stairs, it was still necessary to keep my slate always by her, that she might indicate in writing what she could not indicate in speech. As she was (very bad handwriting apart) a more than indifferent speller, and as Joe was a more than indifferent reader, extraordinary complications arose between them, which I was always called in to solve. The administration of mutton instead of medicine, the substitution of Tea for Joe, and the baker for bacon, were among the mildest of my own mistakes.
However, her temper was greatly improved, and she was patient. A tremulous uncertainty of the action of all her limbs soon became a part of her regular state, and afterwards, at intervals of two or three months, she would often put her hands to her head, and would then remain for about a week at a time in some gloomy aberration of mind. We were at a loss to find a suitable attendant for her, until a circumstance happened conveniently to relieve us. Mr Wopsle's great-aunt conquered a confirmed habit of living into which she had fallen, and Biddy became a part of our establishment.
It may have been about a month after my sister's reappearance in the kitchen, when Biddy came to us with a small speckled box containing the whole of her worldly effects, and became a blessing to the household. Above all, she was a blessing to Joe, for the dear old fellow was sadly cut up by the constant contemplation of the wreck of his wife, and had been accustomed, while attending on her of an evening, to turn to me every now and then and say, with his blue eyes moistened, `Such a fine figure of a woman as she once were, Pip!' Biddy instantly taking the cleverest charge of her as though she had studied her from infancy, Joe became able in some sort to appreciate the greater quiet of his life, and to get down to the Jolly Bargemen now and then for a change that did him good. It was characteristic of the police people that they had all more or less suspected poor Joe (though he never knew it), and that they had to a man concurred in regarding him as one of the deepest spirits they had ever encountered.
Biddy's first triumph in her new office, was to solve a difficulty that had completely vanquished me. I had tried hard at it, but had made nothing of it. Thus it was:
Again and again and again, my sister had traced upon the slate, a character that looked like a curious T, and then with the utmost eagerness had called our attention to it as something she particularly wanted. I had in vain tried everything producible that began with a T, from tar to toast and tub. At length it had come into my head that the sign looked like a hammer, and on my lustily calling that word in my sister's ear, she had begun to hammer on the table and had expressed a qualified assent. Thereupon, I had brought in all our hammers, one after another, but without avail. Then I bethought me of a crutch, the shape being much the same, and I borrowed one in the village, and displayed it to my sister with considerable confidence. But she shook her head to that extent when she was shown it, that we were terrified lest in her weak and shattered state she should dislocate her neck.
When my sister found that Biddy was very quick to understand her, this mysterious sign reappeared on the slate. Biddy looked thoughtfully at it, heard my explanation, looked thoughtfully at my sister, looked thoughtfully at Joe (who was always represented on the slate by his initial letter), and ran into the forge, followed by Joe and me.
`Why, of course!' cried Biddy, with an exultant face. `Don't you see? It's him!'
Orlick, without a doubt! She had lost his name, and could only signify him by his hammer. We told him why we wanted him to come into the kitchen, and he slowly laid down his hammer, wiped his brow with his arm, took another wipe at it with his apron, and came slouching out, with a curious loose vagabond bend in the knees that strongly distinguished him.
I confess that I expected to see my sister denounce him, and that I was disappointed by the different result. She manifested the greatest anxiety to be on good terms with him, was evidently much pleased by his being at length produced, and motioned that she would have him given something to drink. She watched his countenance as if she were particularly wishful to be assured that he took kindly to his reception, she showed every possible desire to conciliate him, and there was an air of humble propitiation in all she did, such as I have seen pervade the bearing of a child towards a hard master. After that day, a day rarely passed without her drawing the hammer on her slate, and without Orlick's slouching in and standing doggedly before her, as if he knew no more than I did what to make of it.
 
我满脑子里装着乔治•巴恩威尔，因此一开始自然而然地想到，我一定被怀疑和袭击我姐姐的案情有关，或者说因为我总归是她的至亲，所有的人都知道她对我的恩惠很大，所以比起别人来我更是一名合理的怀疑对象。但是第二天在明朗的日光下，我开始重新考虑这个问题，加上又听到了在我四周的许多人的议论，我改变了观点，得出了更加合理的看法。
昨天晚上，乔到三个快乐的船夫酒家，从八点一刻到九点三刻都在那里抽烟。他在酒店里时，我姐姐正在厨房门口站着。有一位农夫从我家门口经过，我姐姐还和他互道过晚安。这个人说看到她的时候一定在九点钟之前，不过十分准确的时间他就说不出了（他的确也想说得准确些，不过越想倒反而越糊涂了）。十点缺五分时乔回到家，当即就发现她被人击倒在地上，立刻叫人们来帮忙。当时炉火还是像往常一样烧得旺旺的，蜡烛的烛花也不是很久没剪过了，不过烛光已经被吹熄了。
整个屋子里没发现有任何东西被拿走。那张放着被吹熄的蜡烛的桌子正在厨房的门和我姐姐之间，蜡烛应在我姐姐身后，她自己正面对着火炉站着，就在这时被人击倒了。厨房里并没有发现什么混乱的痕迹，即使有也是她自己在被击倒下时造成的，地上留有一些血迹。但是，行凶的现场有一件有力的证据。她是被某种沉重的钝器击倒的，凶器敲在她的脑袋上和脊骨上。凶手把她面朝下地击倒在地后又把一个很重的东西狂暴地扔在她的身上。乔回来后在抱起她时，发现她身旁的地上有一副逃犯的脚镣，看上去是被人用锉子锉开的。
当时，乔检查了这副脚镣。作为一个铁匠，他断定这副脚镣被锉开已有一段时期了。这件事情追问到监狱船上，他们派人来检查，认为乔的判断是千真万确的。他们不敢保证究竟什么时候这副脚镣从监狱船上给弄到了这里，但无疑这东西本来是监狱船上的。他们还确定这镣铐肯定不是昨夜两个逃犯所戴的。再说，这两个逃犯中有一个已经又被捉回来了，他腿上的镣铐并没有被锉开。
弄清了这些情况后，我自己便得出一个结论。我认为这副镣铐一定是我过去认识的那个逃犯的，记得在沼泽地上我亲眼看到、亲耳听到他在锉脚镣。当然，这次用镣铐行凶我不认为是他干的。我认为有两个人和这镣铐有关，镣铐落在了他们当中的一个人手上，这回便成为他作案的凶器了。这两个人就是奥立克和那个在酒店里对我摆弄锉子的陌生人。
至于奥立克，他确确实实到镇上去过，与我们在关口上遇到他时他亲口告诉我们的一样，因为有人见到过他，整个晚上都在镇上闲逛。他曾到过几家酒馆，和各式各样的人一起饮酒，而且他是和我及沃甫赛先生一起回来的。没有任何理由怀疑到他，除了上午的争吵。事实上，我姐姐和每一个人都争吵，就说和他争吵也有成千上万次了。至于那位摆弄锉刀的陌生人，无非是想来取回他的两张一英镑的纸币的，但这件事不会引起争吵，因为我姐姐早就准备把钱归还他的。此外，根本没有发生过争执，这个凶手是悄悄地进来的，而且是突然袭击，在我姐姐还没有来得及掉头望一下时，就把她击倒在地。
一想到竟然是我自己提供的这件凶器，虽然不是故意的，也不得不感到毛骨悚然；如果我不这么想又难以成理。我忍受着无言的痛苦，考虑来考虑去，究竟该不该把从童年时起就压在身上的魔咒全部驱除，把所遇的一切都告诉乔。此后一连数月，每天我都一再为此问题烦恼，最后作出否定的决定，千万不能讲。但是，第二天早晨，我又重新开始考虑，展开内心斗争。斗争的最终结果得出如下结论：这一个内心秘密由来已久，愈陷愈深，已经和我的血肉合于一处，成为身体的一个必需部分，还是把它留在心中，不把它从我身上撕走。由于它已招致了如此巨大的不幸，所以我的担心不是偶然的。首先，如果一旦让乔知道，他就会相信它，也就会和我疏远，因为今天的情况和往昔不能相比；其次，我更担心的是万一他不相信它，说这和小狗及小牛肉片一样，全是荒谬的捏造。最后，我还是采取了姑息手段，不说为妙。往往错事犯下之后，人就不得不在是非之间徘徊，我也是如此。当然，如果今后遇到机会，可以协助把凶手查个水落石出，我一定会把所有情况都讲明。
一些地方警察和伦敦弓街派来的警察在我家四周作了一两个星期的调查。当时伦敦的警察都穿着现已绝迹的红背心，一看就知道是从伦敦来的。我听说过并且也在书上看到过，政府当局办这类案件都是如此，干得挺卖力。他们速了几个人，可显然都逮错了，因为他们的思想方法都不对。他们坚持让实际情况符合他们的思维方式，而不愿意从实际情况中得出正确的思想。他们还在三个快乐的船夫酒店的门口布下岗哨，面部表情显出他们十分灵敏和谨慎，使所有这一带的人对他们都赞叹不绝。他们喝酒时也表现得神秘莫测，与他们捉犯人的手法同样高明。其实也不尽然，因为他们根本没有逮住凶手。
政府当局派来的警察离开以后很久，我姐姐还是睡在床上。她的视力出了毛病，把一件东西都看成好几件；明明那里没有茶杯和酒杯，她在幻觉中却觉得有，而且会伸手去拿。她的听觉和记忆力都遭到了严重的破坏，说的话非常难懂。后来她可以由人扶着转个圈，以至于能下楼走走，但却无时不带着我的那块石板。她不能说，只能以写代说。她的字写得极差，而且拼写特别随便，而乔读起来也极随便，自然在他们两人之间出现了一些难以弄清的事情，于是就得把我叫去解决。我常常也会弄错，比如她要药（medicine），我却以为她要羊肉（muffon）；她要乔来，我却给她倒茶；她写的是腊肉（bacon），我却以为是面包师父（baker）。其实，这些还都只是我的小错误。
这时她的脾气已经大有好转，也开始有耐性了。她的手脚在行动时总是飘飘忽忽的，不久就成了根深蒂固的毛病。以后，每隔两三个月，她就会用双手捧住自己的头，然后表现出忧郁失常的样子，这个过程总要一个星期左右才好。我们不知道该找谁来服侍她才好，后来真是事有凑巧，一下子解决了我们的难题。沃甫赛先生的姑婆把自己的那套顽固的老习惯彻底地抛除了，所以毕蒂便来到我们家里照顾我的姐姐。
我姐姐重新下楼坐在厨房里大约一个月之后，毕蒂来到我们家，随身带着她的百宝箱。箱子上斑斑点点的，里面装了她的全部家当。她是我们家的福星，尤其是乔的福星，因为我的这位亲爱的老朋友乔一看到我姐姐那个不成人形的样子，心头自然难受，真是心碎肠断。每逢晚上侍候在她旁边时，他经常对着我，睁着一对眼泪汪汪的蓝眼睛，说：“皮普，过去她是一位多么漂亮的女人啊！”毕蒂一到这里便立刻担任起照顾我姐姐的工作。她干事灵巧，好像她天生就对我姐姐十分了解似的。从此，乔便有了比较安宁的生活，不时去到三个快乐的船夫酒店，调剂一下身心。不过警察的特点和一般人不同，他们或多或少对可怜的乔有些怀疑，虽然他本人一点儿也不知道。这些警察们不得不认为在他们所遇到的人中，还没有一个像乔如此深不可测。
毕蒂一来到她的新岗位，第一项成就便是解决了一个我怎么也不能解决的难题。对于这个难题我也曾全力以赴，结果却毫无成效。事情的经过如下：
我姐姐一而再、再而三地在石板上画出一个古怪的形状，看上去颇像一个畸形的“丫’。她非常着急地要我们替她把这个东西找来。我想到了可能的每一件东西，如柏油（tar），吐司（toast）以及桶（tub），但都没有猜中。后来我灵机一动，想起这个符号很有点像锤子，于是便起劲地在我姐姐耳朵边叫出锤子这个词，她也开始锤桌子，似乎表明对我说的很同意。于是我便把家中的锤子一只一只拿来，结果还是劳而无功。后来我又想，也许是一根拐杖，因为这个符号很像拐杖，就到村子里借来一根，十分有信心地交给我姐姐。她一看到手杖便直摇头，令我们十分担心，她的身体如此孱弱，这么猛地摇头，说不定会造成颈骨错位，把头摇掉下来。
当我姐姐发现毕蒂很聪明，说不定能懂得她的意思后，便在石板上又画了那个神秘难解的符号。毕蒂认真地看着这个符号思考着，听着我的说明，若有所思地望望我姐姐，又若有所思地看了看乔（乔在石板上总是被用其第一个字母代替的，写成“J”），接着她便向铁匠铺奔去，乔和我跟着也跑过去。
“我肯定知道了！”毕蒂脸上露出喜悦的神情叫道，“你们看，就是叫他！”
奥立克，无需怀疑，就是指奥立克！我姐姐忘掉了他的名字，只能用他的锤子来代替他。我们告诉奥立克，要请他到厨房里去。他先慢慢地把手中的锤子放下来，用手臂擦了一下额头，然后又用他的围裙擦了一下脸，才慢吞吞地走出铁匠铺，带着流浪汉一般怪模怪样的神气，弯着两个膝盖，明显地表现出他的特点。
我本来认定我姐姐会指责他，可结果却和我所想的完全不同，不得不使我失望。她表情上显露出她非常想和他重归于好，他一来她就十分高兴，做了个手势让他喝些什么。她打量着他的面色，仿佛十分希望他对到这里来感到愉快。她竭力表现出期望和他消解前仇，从她的谦恭神情中可以看出她的态度就像一个孩子对待严师一样。自从那一天之后，很难得有一天她不在石板上画上一个铁锤，所以奥立克也得每天拖拖拉拉地走到我姐姐那里，怪里怪气地站在她面前，好像和我一样弄不清这究竟是怎么一回事。
Chapter 17
I NOW fell into a regular routine of apprenticeship life, which was varied, beyond the limits of the village and the marshes, by no more remarkable circumstance than the arrival of my birthday and my paying another visit to Miss Havisham. I found Miss Sarah Pocket still on duty at the gate, I found Miss Havisham just as I had left her, and she spoke of Estella in the very same way, if not in the very same words. The interview lasted but a few minutes, and she gave me a guinea when I was going, and told me to come again on my next birthday. I may mention at once that this became an annual custom. I tried to decline taking the guinea on the first occasion, but with no better effect than causing her to ask me very angrily, if I expected more? Then, and after that, I took it. 
So unchanging was the dull old house, the yellow light in the darkened room, the faded spectre in the chair by the dressing-table glass, that I felt as if the stopping of the clocks had stopped Time in that mysterious place, and, while I and everything else outside it grew older, it stood still. Daylight never entered the house as to my thoughts and remembrances of it, any more than as to the actual fact. It bewildered me, and under its influence I continued at heart to hate my trade and to be ashamed of home.
Imperceptibly I became conscious of a change in Biddy, however. Her shoes came up at the heel, her hair grew bright and neat, her hands were always clean. She was not beautiful - she was common, and could not be like Estella - but she was pleasant and wholesome and sweet-tempered. She had not been with us more than a year (I remember her being newly out of mourning at the time it struck me), when I observed to myself one evening that she had curiously thoughtful and attentive eyes; eyes that were very pretty and very good.
It came of my lifting up my own eyes from a task I was poring at - writing some passages from a book, to improve myself in two ways at once by a sort of stratagem - and seeing Biddy observant of what I was about. I laid down my pen, and Biddy stopped in her needlework without laying it down.
`Biddy,' said I, `how do you manage it? Either I am very stupid, or you are very clever.'
`What is it that I manage? I don't know,' returned Biddy, smiling.
She managed our whole domestic life, and wonderfully too; but I did not mean that, though that made what I did mean, more surprising.
`How do you manage, Biddy,' said I, `to learn everything that I learn, and always to keep up with me?' I was beginning to be rather vain of my knowledge, for I spent my birthday guineas on it, and set aside the greater part of my pocket-money for similar investment; though I have no doubt, now, that the title I knew was extremely dear at the price.
`I might as well ask you,' said Biddy, `how you manage?'
`No; because when I come in from the forge of a night, any one can see me turning to at it. But you never turn to at it, Biddy.'
`I suppose I must catch it - like a cough,' said Biddy, quietly; and went on with her sewing.
Pursuing my idea as I leaned back in my wooden chair and looked at Biddy sewing away with her head on one side, I began to think her rather an extraordinary girl. For, I called to mind now, that she was equally accomplished in the terms of our trade, and the names of our different sorts of work, and our various tools. In short, whatever I knew, Biddy knew. Theoretically, she was already as good a blacksmith as I, or better.
`You are one of those, Biddy,' said I, `who make the most of every chance. You never had a chance before you came here, and see how improved you are!'
Biddy looked at me for an instant, and went on with her sewing. `I was your first teacher though; wasn't I?' said she, as she sewed.
`Biddy!' I exclaimed, in amazement. `Why, you are crying!'
`No I am not,' said Biddy, looking up and laughing. `What put that in your head?'
What could have put it in my head, but the glistening of a tear as it dropped on her work? I sat silent, recalling what a drudge she had been until Mr Wopsle's great-aunt successfully overcame that bad habit of living, so highly desirable to be got rid of by some people. I recalled the hopeless circumstances by which she had been surrounded in the miserable little shop and the miserable little noisy evening school, with that miserable old bundle of incompetence always to be dragged and shouldered. I reflected that even in those untoward times there must have been latent in Biddy what was now developing, for, in my first uneasiness and discontent I had turned to her for help, as a matter of course. Biddy sat quietly sewing, shedding no more tears, and while I looked at her and thought about it all, it occurred to me that perhaps I had not been sufficiently grateful to Biddy. I might have been too reserved, and should have patronized her more (though I did not use that precise word in my meditations), with my confidence.
`Yes, Biddy,' I observed, when I had done turning it over, `you were my first teacher, and that at a time when we little thought of ever being together like this, in this kitchen.'
`Ah, poor thing!' replied Biddy. It was like her self-forgetfulness, to transfer the remark to my sister, and to get up and be busy about her, making her more comfortable; `that's sadly true!'
`Well!' said I, `we must talk together a little more, as we used to do. And I must consult you a little more, as I used to do. Let us have a quiet walk on the marshes next Sunday, Biddy, and a long chat.'
My sister was never left alone now; but Joe more than readily undertook the care of her on that Sunday afternoon, and Biddy and I went out together. It was summer-time, and lovely weather. When we had passed the village and the church and the churchyard, and were out on the marshes and began to see the sails of the ships as they sailed on, I began to combine Miss Havisham and Estella with the prospect, in my usual way. When we came to the river-side and sat down on the bank, with the water rippling at our feet, making it all more quiet than it would have been without that sound, I resolved that it was a good time and place for the admission of Biddy into my inner confidence.
`Biddy,' said I, after binding her to secrecy, `I want to be a gentleman.'
`Oh, I wouldn't, if I was you!' she returned. `I don't think it would answer.'
`Biddy,' said I, with some severity, `I have particular reasons for wanting to be a gentleman.'
`You know best, Pip; but don't you think you are happier as you are?'
`Biddy,' I exclaimed, impatiently, `I am not at all happy as I am. I am disgusted with my calling and with my life. I have never taken to either, since I was bound. Don't be absurd.'
`Was I absurd?' said Biddy, quietly raising her eyebrows; `I am sorry for that; I didn't mean to be. I only want you to do well, and to be comfortable.'
`Well then, understand once for all that I never shall or can be comfortable - or anything but miserable - there, Biddy! - unless I can lead a very different sort of life from the life I lead now.'
`That's a pity!' said Biddy, shaking her head with a sorrowful air.
Now, I too had so often thought it a pity, that, in the singular kind of quarrel with myself which I was always carrying on, I was half inclined to shed tears of vexation and distress when Biddy gave utterance to her sentiment and my own. I told her she was right, and I knew it was much to be regretted, but still it was not to be helped.
`If I could have settled down,' I said to Biddy, plucking up the short grass within reach, much as I had once upon a time pulled my feelings out of my hair and kicked them into the brewery wall: `if I could have settled down and been but half as fond of the forge as I was when I was little, I know it would have been much better for me. You and I and Joe would have wanted nothing then, and Joe and I would perhaps have gone partners when I was out of my time, and I might even have grown up to keep company with you, and we might have sat on this very bank on a fine Sunday, quite different people. I should have been good enough for you; shouldn't I, Biddy?'
Biddy sighed as she looked at the ships sailing on, and returned for answer, `Yes; I am not over-particular.' It scarcely sounded flattering, but I knew she meant well.
`Instead of that,' said I, plucking up more grass and chewing a blade or two, `see how I am going on. Dissatisfied, and uncomfortable, and - what would it signify to me, being coarse and common, if nobody had told me so!'
Biddy turned her face suddenly towards mine, and looked far more attentively at me than she had looked at the sailing ships.
`It was neither a very true nor a very polite thing to say,' she remarked, directing her eyes to the ships again. `Who said it?'
I was disconcerted, for I had broken away without quite seeing where I was going to. It was not to be shuffled off now, however, and I answered, `The beautiful young lady at Miss Havisham's, and she's more beautiful than anybody ever was, and I admire her dreadfully, and I want to be a gentleman on her account.' Having made this lunatic confession, I began to throw my torn-up grass into the river, as if I had some thoughts of following it.
`Do you want to be a gentleman, to spite her or to gain her over?' Biddy quietly asked me, after a pause.
`I don't know,' I moodily answered.
`Because, if it is to spite her,' Biddy pursued, `I should think - but you know best - that might be better and more independently done by caring nothing for her words. And if it is to gain her over, I should think - but you know best - she was not worth gaining over.'
Exactly what I myself had thought, many times. Exactly what was perfectly manifest to me at the moment. But how could I, a poor dazed village lad, avoid that wonderful inconsistency into which the best and wisest of men fall every day?
`It may be all quite true,' said I to Biddy, `but I admire her dreadfully.'
In short, I turned over on my face when I came to that, and got a good grasp on the hair on each side of my head, and wrenched it well. All the while knowing the madness of my heart to be so very mad and misplaced, that I was quite conscious it would have served my face right, if I had lifted it up by my hair, and knocked it against the pebbles as a punishment for belonging to such an idiot.
Biddy was the wisest of girls, and she tried to reason no more with me. She put her hand, which was a comfortable hand though roughened by work, upon my hands, one after another, and gently took them out of my hair. Then she softly patted my shoulder in a soothing way, while with my face upon my sleeve I cried a little - exactly as I had done in the brewery yard - and felt vaguely convinced that I was very much ill-used by somebody, or by everybody; I can't say which.
`I am glad of one thing,' said Biddy, `and that is, that you have felt you could give me your confidence, Pip. And I am glad of another thing, and that is, that of course you know you may depend upon my keeping it and always so far deserving it. If your first teacher (dear! such a poor one, and so much in need of being taught herself!) had been your teacher at the present time, she thinks she knows what lesson she would set. But It would be a hard one to learn, and you have got beyond her, and it's of no use now.' So, with a quiet sigh for me, Biddy rose from the bank, and said, with a fresh and pleasant change of voice, `Shall we walk a little further, or go home?'
`Biddy,' I cried, getting up, putting my arm round her neck, and giving her a kiss, `I shall always tell you everything.'
`Till you're a gentleman,' said Biddy.
`You know I never shall be, so that's always. Not that I have any occasion to tell you anything, for you know everything I know - as I told you at home the other night.'
`Ah!' said Biddy, quite in a whisper, as she looked away at the ships. And then repeated, with her former pleasant change; `shall we walk a little further, or go home?'
I said to Biddy we would walk a little further, and we did so, and the summer afternoon toned down into the summer evening, and it was very beautiful. I began to consider whether I was not more naturally and wholesomely situated, after all, in these circumstances, than playing beggar my neighbour by candlelight in the room with the stopped clocks, and being despised by Estella. I thought it would be very good for me if I could get her out of my head, with all the rest of those remembrances and fancies, and could go to work determined to relish what I had to do, and stick to it, and make the best of it. I asked myself the question whether I did not surely know that if Estella were beside me at that moment instead of Biddy, she would make me miserable? I was obliged to admit that I did know it for a certainty, and I said to myself, `Pip, what a fool you are!'
We talked a good deal as we walked, and all that Biddy said seemed right. Biddy was never insulting, or capricious, or Biddy to-day and somebody else to-morrow; she would have derived only pain, and no pleasure, from giving me pain; she would far rather have wounded her own breast than mine. How could it be, then, that I did not like her much the better of the two?
`Biddy,' said I, when we were walking homeward, `I wish you could put me right.'
`I wish I could!' said Biddy.
`If I could only get myself to fall in love with you - you don't mind my speaking so openly to such an old acquaintance?'
`Oh dear, not at all!' said Biddy. `Don't mind me.'
`If I could only get myself to do it, that would be the thing for me.'
`But you never will, you see,' said Biddy.
It did not appear quite so unlikely to me that evening, as it would have done if we had discussed it a few hours before. I therefore observed I was not quite sure of that. But Biddy said she was, and she said it decisively. In my heart I believed her to be right; and yet I took it rather ill, too, that she should be so positive on the point.
When we came near the churchyard, we had to cross an embankment, and get over a stile near a sluice gate. There started up, from the gate, or from the rushes, or from the ooze (which was quite in his stagnant way), Old Orlick.
`Halloa!' he growled, `where are you two going?'
`Where should we be going, but home?'
`Well then,' said he, `I'm jiggered if I don't see you home!'
This penalty of being jiggered was a favourite supposititious case of his. He attached no definite meaning to the word that I am aware of, but used it, like his own pretended Christian name, to affront mankind, and convey an idea of something savagely damaging. When I was younger, I had had a general belief that if he had jiggered me personally, he would have done it with a sharp and twisted hook.
Biddy was much against his going with us, and said to me in a whisper, `Don't let him come; I don't like him.' As I did not like him either, I took the liberty of saying that we thanked him, but we didn't want seeing home. He received that piece of information with a yell of laughter, and dropped back, but came slouching after us at a little distance.
Curious to know whether Biddy suspected him of having had a hand in that murderous attack of which my sister had never been able to give any account, I asked her why she did not like him.
`Oh!' she replied, glancing over her shoulder as he slouched after us, `because I - I am afraid he likes me.'
`Did he ever tell you he liked you?' I asked, indignantly.
`No,' said Biddy, glancing over her shoulder again, `he never told me so; but he dances at me, whenever he can catch my eye.'
However novel and peculiar this testimony of attachment, I did not doubt the accuracy of the interpretation. I was very hot indeed upon Old Orlick's daring to admire her; as hot as if it were an outrage on myself.
`But it makes no difference to you, you know,' said Biddy, calmly.
`No, Biddy, it makes no difference to me; only I don't like it; I don't approve of it.'
`Nor I neither,' said Biddy. `Though that makes no difference to you.'
`Exactly,' said I; `but I must tell you I should have no opinion of you, Biddy, if he danced at you with your own consent.'
I kept an eye on Orlick after that night, and, whenever circumstances were favourable to his dancing at Biddy, got before him, to obscure that demonstration. He had struck root in Joe's establishment, by reason of my sister's sudden fancy for him, or I should have tried to get him dismissed. He quite understood and reciprocated my good intentions, as I had reason to know thereafter.
And now, because my mind was not confused enough before, I complicated its confusion fifty thousand-fold, by having states and seasons when I was clear that Biddy was immeasurably better than Estella, and that the plain honest working life to which I was born, had nothing in it to be ashamed of, but offered me sufficient means of self-respect and happiness. At those times, I would decide conclusively that my disaffection to dear old Joe and the forge, was gone, and that I was growing up in a fair way to be partners with Joe and to keep company with Biddy - when all in a moment some confounding remembrance of the Havisham days would fall upon me, like a destructive missile, and scatter my wits again. Scattered wits take a long time picking up; and often, before I had got them well together, they would be dispersed in all directions by one stray thought, that perhaps after all Miss Havisham was going to make my fortune when my time was out.
If my time had run out, it would have left me still at the height of my perplexities, I dare say. It never did run out, however, but was brought to a premature end, as I proceed to relate.
 
我现在已经陷进了单调刻板的学徒生活，转来转去总不出这个村子和那边的沼泽地，除了在过生日的那天，我重访了郝维仙小姐，根本没有其他值得一提的情况。我发现还是那个莎娜•鄱凯特小姐在门口当差，我还发现郝维仙小姐依然和上次一样，以同样的神情和方法谈起埃斯苔娜，尽管在用词上有所不同。整个会面也只有几分钟，她给了我一块金币，在我临走时告诉我下一次生日时再去。我必须提及的是，这就成了以后每年的习惯。在她第一次给我一块金币时，我就曾向她说我不是为要钱来的，不能接受，可结果无效，反而引她生气，问我是不是想多要些？于是我不得不接受，而且，自此以后我便也习以为常了。
那座沉闷的陈旧宅邸依旧是老样子，没有变化，昏黄的烛光依旧迷漫在黑暗的房间之中，那坐在梳妆台边椅子里的于枯幽灵也依旧不变。我想，也许是由于时钟停止，才使得这神秘所在的时间长存不变。虽然屋外的一切事物和我都可添加岁月，而这里的一切都是静止的。日光永远照射不进屋里，甚至一想到这宅邸，连我的记忆和思维中也都没有一丝阳光。这所宅邸使我迷惑，给我的影响一直使我憎恨我的职业，使我为我的家庭感到羞愧。
然而，我却稍稍察觉了毕蒂身上的变化。她穿的鞋子有后跟了，她的头发变得光亮夺目而且梳得整整齐齐，她的两只手也总是洗得干干净净。她生得不算漂亮，只不过平平常常，当然不好和埃斯苔娜相比，但她是那么活泼可爱、丰满健康、脾气和顺。她来到我们家也不过一年光景，我记得那是在她刚脱掉孝服时，一个晚上我发现她有着一双奇妙的冥思而专注的眼睛，那双眼睛是多么动人，多么善良啊！
当时，我正专心致志地完成一件任务，也就是抄写一本书上的段落，以此来改善自己的不足。我想，这是种一箭双雕的上进良策。我抬眼看到毕蒂正在看我做的事，于是放下了笔。毕蒂也停下了针线活，不过没有放下来。
“毕蒂，”我说道，“你是怎么做到的？要么是我太笨，要么就是你十分聪明。”
“我做到了什么？连我自己也不知道。”毕蒂微笑着答道。
她料理全部的家务，而且非常出色。不过，我不是指这一点，虽然这一点使我想要说的更加令人惊叹。
“毕蒂，”我问道，“你是怎么做到学会我所学的一切，而且永远不落后？”我当时觉得我确有了些知识，因为我把每年生日得到的金币都用作了智力投资，而且把大部分积蓄起来的零用钱也都用在智力投资上了。现在想起来，为这点儿知识我已付出了相当昂贵的代价。
“我也正要问你呢，”毕蒂答道，“你是怎么做到的？”
“不要问我了，每天晚上我一离开铁匠铺，大家都看到我在干这个。毕蒂，可是你没有时间来干这个啊。”
“我想你是把学问传染给我了，就像传染感冒咳嗽一样。”毕蒂平静地说着，然后便继续干她的针线活儿。
我背靠在我的木椅上，注视着毕蒂把头斜在一边干着针线活，脑际中泛起了思潮，我开始认为毕蒂真是一位了不起的姑娘。就我现在所能想起的，她对我们打铁这个行业的一切专门术语、活计名称以及各种工具都了如指掌。简单地说吧，凡是我懂得的毕蒂都懂得。从理论上说，她也是一个铁匠了，和我一样，甚至比我强。
“毕蒂，你是一个非常善于利用机会的人，”我说道，“你在来这儿之前没有任何机会，而现在一有机会，看，你进步得多快！”
毕蒂看了我一眼，继续做她的针线活。“可是过去我曾是你的第一个老师呢，是不是？”她一面缝一面说。
“毕蒂！”我茫然地说道，“怎么啦，你正在哭！”
“我没有哭，”毕蒂说道，仰起脸来笑着，“你脑袋里怎么会有那个念头的？”
我脑袋里怎么会有那个念头的？明明一颗亮晶晶的泪珠滴在了她的针线活儿上。我无言而静默地坐在那里，脑中却在回忆着她服侍那位有着很坏生活习惯的沃甫赛先生的姑婆时，任劳任怨地吃尽了苦，要换别人是不肯干的。我的脑中又想起她当时的恶劣环境，一方面要守着那个破破烂烂的小店，另一方面要顾着那个又小又乱又嘈杂的可怜夜校，还要照看那个可怜而又无自理能力的老太婆，把她搀过来背过去。我还想起她身上有一种东西，即使处于逆境的时候也潜藏在她身上，这就是如今已经得到发展的美德。我记得最初我心情不快而且感到不满时，就去找她帮助，这就是明证。毕蒂无言地坐在那里做她的针线活，眼泪已经止住。我凝视着她，思绪起伏，觉得或许是我没有充分报答毕蒂的深情厚意。我是太谨小慎微了。我应该多关怀她，更加地真诚友好（但是在思考时我没有用关怀这个词）。
“是啊，毕蒂，”我再三思考以后说道，“你曾是我的第一个老师，那时候我们根本想不到会像今天这样子一起待在厨房里。”
“噢，可怜的人儿！”毕蒂答道。她就是这种不顾自己的人，又把话锋转向我的姐姐，并且起身忙着去眼侍她，使她休息得更舒服一些。“你说得倒是正确，却令人伤感。”
“那么，”我说道，“我们该像过去一样在一起多谈谈。我也该像过去一样有问题多请你指点指点。我想下个星期天我们到沼泽地上去安安静静地散散步，毕蒂，我们可以多谈谈。”
我姐姐不能单独留下没人照管，好的是在那个星期日下午乔非常乐意留下来照管她，于是毕蒂和我才有机会一起出去。这是一个夏日，天气晴朗宜人。我们出了村庄，经过乡村教堂，走过乡村墓地，便到了沼泽地上。放眼望去，河中的船帆来往不断。一见到这种情景，我不由得触景生情，脑际中又浮现出了郝维仙小姐及埃斯苔娜的身影。我们走向河边，坐在河岸上，微波荡漾的河水在我们脚下轻轻流过，似乎毫无声息，显得一片安静。我想这是多么好的机会，多么好的地点，我应该抓紧时机向毕蒂吐露心声，让她分享我的秘密。
“毕蒂，”我先叫她保守秘密，然后才说道，“我想做一个上流社会的人。”
“哦，如果我是你的话，我可不要做上流社会的人！”她回答道，“我认为上等人也没有什么好的。”
我非常认真地对她说：“毕蒂，我想成为一个上流社会的人是有特别理由的。”
“皮普，你对你自己了解得最为清楚，不过，你认为自己现在还不够快乐吗？”
“毕蒂，”我很不耐烦地大声说道，“我现在根本就不快乐。我非常讨厌我的这一行当，非常讨厌我的生活方式。自从当了学徒，无论这行当或这生活我都极其讨厌。你说的简直太荒唐了。”
“我荒唐吗？”毕蒂平静地扬了扬她的眉毛，说道，“十分抱歉，我并没有你说的那个意思，我所希望的只不过是你能够过得愉快，过得舒适。”
“那就好了，那么干脆就告诉你个明白吧，我永远不会、也不可能舒适，我永远都只能不幸，毕蒂！除非我过一种和现在所过的完全不同的生活。”
“太令人遗憾了！”毕蒂答道，同时带着伤心的样子摇摇头。
其实，我也时常觉得我的这种考虑实在令人遗憾，而且我一直为了这个问题在开展着思想斗争。现在，毕蒂开诚布公地道出了她的感想，同时也点破了我的心思，我内心的烦恼和痛苦简直使我差点淌出眼泪。我对她说她是正确的，我知道我的这种想法是非常令人遗憾的，可是这又有什么办法呢？
“假使我能在铁匠铺待下去，”我拔起我手够得着的地方的小草，这就像过去我在郝维仙小姐家里扯自己的头发并狠命地踢制酒作坊的墙一样，以此来发泄个人的怨气。“假使我能在铁匠铺待下去，假使我对铁匠铺的情感能有儿时好感的一半，我现在的情绪就会大不相同了。你和我和乔就会因什么也不缺乏而知足常乐，也许乔和我会等到我满师之后合伙经营，我再长大后也许就会和你结为终身伴侣，每逢晴朗的星期日我们都会坐在这里的河岸上，那时的一切将会大不相同。毕蒂，我对你来说该是挺理想的，不是吗？”
毕蒂望着河上来来去去的帆影，随即叹了一口气对我答道：“是啊，我是不会过于挑剔的。”听起来她并没有夸奖我，但我了解她的出发点是善意的。
我仍然拔着地上的草，还在嘴巴里嚼着一两片草叶。“然而事实相反，瞧瞧我过的是什么日子，心里很不如意，感觉很不舒适。我的生活是如此的粗俗，是如此的平常，如果过去没有人告诉我这些那有多好！”
毕蒂冷不防地转过脸来望着我的脸，比她刚才望着河上往来的船只更加专心致志。
“这些话是不符合事实的，也不符合礼貌。”她说道，随即又把目光转向过往船只。“这些话是谁说的？”
给她这一问我倒心慌意乱起来，刚才讲话一时大意，就没有想一下说出来的后果会是什么，现在想蒙混过去是不可能了，只有老老实实说道：“这话是郝维仙小姐家一位美丽的年轻小姐说的。她生得比我见到过的任何姑娘都漂亮，我是太崇拜她了。我之所以要做一个上流社会的人就是为了她。”说了这番疯疯癫癫的话之后，我又把拔起来的草丢进河水之中，仿佛我自己也想追随着青草一起跃进河中。
“你想做一个上流社会的人是为了惹她气恼，还是为了讨她喜欢呢？”毕蒂停顿了片刻，用温和平静的口气问我。
“我说不出。”我郁闷地答道。
毕蒂这时说道：“如果你是为了惹她气恼，当然，是不是这样你自己更清楚，那么最好还是干脆不理她的碴儿，表现得更有独立性；如果你是为了讨她喜欢，当然，是不是这样还是你自己更清楚，那么像她这样的人是不值得去讨她喜欢的。”
她所说的这些和我多次想过的竟然完全一致。当时从我的内心来说对这点是知道得很清楚的，可是，我这个茫然迷乱的乡下孩子又怎么能避开内心这些奇妙的自相矛盾呢？即使那些高尚的智者每天也不免坠入其中而不能自拔。
“你所说的也许完全正确，”我对毕蒂说道，“不过我是太崇拜她了。”
简短地说吧，我说到这里便转过身去趴在地上，两手抓起头上的头发，向两边狠命地扯着。此时此刻，我心中知道，我的心已被扰乱，完全是鬼迷心窍，对人的爱与恨都错了位。我非常清楚，当时即使我抓住头发，把自己的头拎起来，再把它狠狠地朝着鹅卵石砸去，以示惩罚，那也是罪有应得，因为它长在了一个白痴的身上。
毕蒂是最聪明最体贴人微的姑娘，这时她再不和我讲理论了。她把手放在我的手上，虽然她的手由于日夜操劳而变得粗糙，可又是多么温柔舒适啊。她那么温和地把我的手一只一只地从头上拉下来，然后又柔和地拍着我的肩膀，以此来安慰我，而我则用袖子造着脸伤心地哭了一会儿，和制酒作坊院子里的那次一样——恍惚觉得受了什么人的委屈，抑或是受了每一个人的委屈，我也说不出个究竟。
“有一件事情我十分高兴，”毕蒂对我说道，“皮普，那就是你已经感到你可以对我吐露心中的秘密。还有一件事也使我高兴，那就是你告诉我心中之事，相信我能为你保守秘密，并认为这永远是对的。假使你的第一个老师能做你现在的老师，那么她知道该给你上一堂什么样的课了。（天啦！这个可怜的人儿，她更需要别人来教她呢！）不过，这一课是很难学的，而且你已懂得比她还多，唉，现在来说学这一课已经无用了。”于是，毕蒂轻轻地为我叹了一口气，接着便从河岸上站起来，用活泼快乐的语调对我说道：“我们再散一会儿步呢，还是回家？”
“毕蒂，”我叫了一声便站起来，搂住她的颈子，吻了她一下，“我永远把心中的话告诉你。”
“你成为上流社会的人以后就不会再告诉我了。”毕蒂说道。
“你知道我不会成为上流社会的人，所以我永远会告诉你我心中的事。当然这不是因为我有必要告诉你什么，其实我懂的事你也都懂，这一点那个晚上在家中我就跟你说过了。”
毕蒂转过脸去看着来往的帆船，然后轻轻地说了一个字“啊！”接着，依然用刚才那快乐的声调重复了已说过的话：“我们再散一会儿步呢，还是回家？”
我对毕蒂说我们还是再散一会儿步吧，于是我们便继续散步。这时，夏日午后慢慢地变成了夏日黄昏，周围的一切显得凉爽而美丽。我开始思考，在如此宜人的环境中，我和大自然拥抱在一起，身心感到健康，远远胜过在那时间永远停止的房间里，在昏暗的烛光下和永远轻视我的埃斯苔娜一起玩牌。我思忖着，如果我能从自己头脑中把埃斯苔娜和有关的一切回忆、一切幻想都抛开，而专心致志地工作，精益求精，坚持不懈，那对我来说，才是最好的。我们心自问，如果此时在我身边的是埃斯苔娜，而不是毕蒂，情况又会怎样呢？我能肯定她必然会给我带来不幸吗？可是我又不得不承认她一定会带给我不幸。我在心中暗暗责备自己：“皮普，你是多么愚蠢啊！”
我们一面散步，一面谈了许多。毕蒂说的一切似乎都是正确的。毕蒂从来没有伤过我的心，从来不三心二意，从来不会今天这样明天又变了一个样；她不会使我痛苦，因为使我痛苦的结果也会使她痛苦，而决不会是快乐；她宁愿自己心碎，也不会使我心碎。可是为什么在她们两人之中我偏偏喜欢埃斯苔娜而不是她呢？
“毕蒂，”我们踏着回家的归途时，我说道，“但愿你使我走一条正路。”
“但愿我能！”毕蒂答道。
“要是我能使自己只爱上你那该多好啊！我如此坦率地向你表白，你不会介意吧？你可是我的一个老朋友啊。”
“哦，亲爱的，我不会介意的！”毕蒂说道，“你也不要介意我才是。”
“如果我能使自己那么做，那会是我的福分。”
“你明白，你是永远做不到的。”毕蒂说道。
其实，就那个傍晚看来，这事倒不见得一定不可能，但如果早几个小时谈这个问题那就不一样了。所以我说，关于这个问题我也吃不准。但是毕蒂却说她能吃得准，而且说得那么坚定。在心中，我相信她说的是对的，但是她把问题说得那么肯定而不留余地，也使我颇为不快。
我们缓步来到了教堂墓地，从这里我们必须通过一道堤坝，还要翻过一道闸门，跨过栅栏。就在这时突然跳出了老奥立克，真不知道他究竟是从闸门里跳出来的，还是从灯芯草丛中跳出来的，抑或是从污泥地里跳出来的？不过，从他那污浊不堪的样子来看，说从污泥地里跳出来的倒差不多。
他大声吼道：“喂！你们两个人到哪里去？”
“除掉回家还能到什么地方去呢？”
“唔，好吧，”他说道，“看来我只有送你们回家喽，否则我可就该杀了！”
他的这一句“该杀了”是他最喜欢用的口头禅。我很了解，他说出这话并没有什么确定的含义，就和他瞎说个教名一样，只不过以它冒犯他人的尊严，表达某种恶意伤害的意愿。我记得还在我很小的时候，就有个想法，如果他真的亲自动手“该杀”我了，他一定会用一根锋利的弯钩一下子就把我的头割掉。
毕蒂非常不愿意让他和我们一起走，于是低低地对我耳语：“不要让他跟我们走，我不喜欢这个人。”其实我也不喜欢他，于是便不客气地对他说我们谢谢他，但是我们不要他送我们回家。他听了我的话后发出一声大笑，然后退了回去，但是却一直隔了一小段路在后面尾随着我们。
我很好奇为什么毕蒂不喜欢奥立克，也许是因为我姐姐被谋害这件事至今尚未水落石出，而毕蒂怀疑奥立克插手了此事，所以我就要把情况问清楚。
“噢！你问这个，”她答道，同时掉过头去看看那个拖拖拉拉走在后面的奥立克，“因为我——我担心他喜欢上我了。”
“他难道对你说过他喜欢你吗？”我愤愤地说道。
“没有，”毕蒂说道，又把头掉过去看看，“他从来没有对我说过。不过，他一看到我就会装模作样、嬉皮笑脸。”
她所说的他喜欢上她的证据不仅那么新奇，而且也那么特殊，但是我不怀疑她这话的真实性。老奥立克竟然敢喜欢上她，这可把我给气炸了，好像这是对我的凌辱一样。
“你要知道，这件事和你是无关的。”毕蒂用平静的语气说道。
“是的，毕蒂，这件事是和我无关，可我就是不喜欢这件事，我也不赞成这件事。”
“我也不赞成，”毕蒂说道，“你不必去管它，它和你是无关的。”
“确实无关，”我说道，“但是我要告诉你，毕蒂，如果你默认他的装模作样和嬉皮笑脸，那我可就认为是你不好了。”
从那天晚上开始，我就对奥立克提高警惕，只要他一乘机有意对毕蒂装模作样、嬉皮笑脸，我便插在他们之间，挡住他的戏法。要不是我姐姐突然对他产生了好感，他仍然可以留在乔的铁匠铺里，否则我早就设法把他辞退了。他十分了解我的这番善意，并且还报于我。以后，我是会知道的。
好像从前我心神紊乱得还很不够似的，现在又变本加厉起来，起码多了五万倍的混乱。在有些时候，我便会清楚地意识到毕蒂远远胜过埃斯苔娜，其程度不可计量，同时会想到从我的出身看，过一种诚实而平凡的劳动生活本无可非议、正大光明，应该感到自尊自豪，应当引以为幸福骄傲。在这种情况下，我的思想是坚决的，我绝对不会和老朋友乔以及铁匠铺断情绝义。一巳我长大成人，艺成满师，就和乔合伙经营，而且和毕蒂结成良缘，组家立业，又何乐而不为呢？然而，正在兴致勃勃想得天花乱坠时，糊涂观念顿起，昔日郝维仙小姐家中的情景又在脑中浮起，好像一枚毁灭性的飞弹炸得我心神四处分散，失去了正常理智。神智既乱，要收回重整就得很费番工夫。而且往往当我心思正趋向于稳定时，突然心念一动，整个心思又四面八方分散开去。这个心念不是别的，而是郝维仙小姐在我满师之后是不是会造就我的远大前程呢？
即使我艺成满师，我敢说我的心未必能够收敛，一定仍然处于困惑茫然之中。但是，还没有等到我艺成师满，我却提前结束了学徒生活，详情将在下文中交待。
Chapter 18
IT was in the fourth year of my apprenticeship to Joe, and it was a Saturday night. There was a group assembled round the fire at the Three Jolly Bargemen, attentive to Mr Wopsle as he read the newspaper aloud. Of that group I was one. 
A highly popular murder had been committed, and Mr Wopsle was imbrued in blood to the eyebrows. He gloated over every abhorrent adjective in the description, and identified himself with every witness at the Inquest. He faintly moaned, `I am done for,' as the victim, and he barbarously bellowed, `I'll serve you out,' as the murderer. He gave the medical testimony, in pointed imitation of our local practitioner; and he piped and shook, as the aged turnpike-keeper who had heard blows, to an extent so very paralytic as to suggest a doubt regarding the mental competency of that witness. The coroner, in Mr Wopsle's hands, became Timon of Athens; the beadle, Coriolanus. He enjoyed himself thoroughly, and we all enjoyed ourselves, and were delightfully comfortable. In this cozy state of mind we came to the verdict Wilful Murder.
Then, and not sooner, I became aware of a strange gentleman leaning over the back of the settle opposite me, looking on. There was an expression of contempt on his face, and he bit the side of a great forefinger as he watched the group of faces.
`Well!' said the stranger to Mr Wopsle, when the reading was done, `you have settled it all to your own satisfaction, I have no doubt?'
Everybody started and looked up, as if it were the murderer. He looked at everybody coldly and sarcastically.
`Guilty, of course?' said he. `Out with it. Come!'
`Sir,' returned Mr Wopsle, `without having the honour of your acquaintance, I do say Guilty.' Upon this, we all took courage to unite in a confirmatory murmur.
`I know you do,' said the stranger; `I knew you would. I told you so. But now I'll ask you a question. Do you know, or do you not know, that the law of England supposes every man to be innocent, until he is proved - proved - to be guilty?'
`Sir,' Mr Wopsle began to reply, `as an Englishman myself, I--'
`Come!' said the stranger, biting his forefinger at him. `Don't evade the question. Either you know it, or you don't know it. Which is it to be?'
He stood with his head on one side and himself on one side, in a bullying interrogative manner, and he threw his forefinger at Mr Wopsle - as it were to mark him out - before biting it again.
`Now!' said he. `Do you know it, or don't you know it?'
`Certainly I know it,' replied Mr Wopsle.
`Certainly you know it. Then why didn't you say so at first? Now, I'll ask you another question;' taking possession of Mr Wopsle, as if he had a right to him. `Do you know that none of these witnesses have yet been cross-examined?'
Mr Wopsle was beginning, `I can only say--' when the stranger stopped him.
`What? You won't answer the question, yes or no? Now, I'll try you again.' Throwing his finger at him again. `Attend to me. Are you aware, or are you not aware, that none of these witnesses have yet been cross-examined? Come, I only want one word from you. Yes, or no?'
Mr Wopsle hesitated, and we all began to conceive rather a poor opinion of him.
`Come!' said the stranger, `I'll help you. You don't deserve help, but I'll help you. Look at that paper you hold in your hand. What is it?'
`What is it?' repeated Mr Wopsle, eyeing it, much at a loss.
`Is it,' pursued the stranger in his most sarcastic and suspicious manner, `the printed paper you have just been reading from?'
`Undoubtedly.'
`Undoubtedly. Now, turn to that paper, and tell me whether it distinctly states that the prisoner expressly said that his legal advisers instructed him altogether to reserve his defence?'
`I read that just now,' Mr Wopsle pleaded.
`Never mind what you read just now, sir; I don't ask you what you read just now. You may read the Lord's Prayer backwards, if you like - and, perhaps, have done it before to-day. Turn to the paper. No, no, no my friend; not to the top of the column; you know better than that; to the bottom, to the bottom.' (We all began to think Mr Wopsle full of subterfuge.) `Well? Have you found it?'
`Here it is,' said Mr Wopsle.
`Now, follow that passage with your eye, and tell me whether it distinctly states that the prisoner expressly said that he was instructed by his legal advisers wholly to reserve his defence? Come!Do you make that of it?'
Mr Wopsle answered, `Those are not the exact words.'
`Not the exact words!' repeated the gentleman, bitterly. `Is that the exact substance?'
`Yes,' said Mr Wopsle.
`Yes,' repeated the stranger, looking round at the rest of the company with his right hand extended towards the witness, Wopsle. `And now I ask you what you say to the conscience of that man who, with that passage before his eyes, can lay his head upon his pillow after having pronounced a fellow-creature guilty, unheard?'
We all began to suspect that Mr Wopsle was not the man we had thought him, and that he was beginning to be found out.
`And that same man, remember,' pursued the gentleman, throwing his finger at Mr Wopsle heavily; `that same man might be summoned as a juryman upon this very trial, and, having thus deeply committed himself, might return to the bosom of his family and lay his head upon his pillow, after deliberately swearing that he would well and truly try the issue joined between Our Sovereign Lord the King and the prisoner at the bar, and would a true verdict give according to the evidence, so help him God!'
We were all deeply persuaded that the unfortunate Wopsle had gone too far, and had better stop in his reckless career while there was yet time.
The strange gentleman, with an air of authority not to be disputed, and with a manner expressive of knowing something secret about every one of us that would effectually do for each individual if he chose to disclose it, left the back of the settle, and came into the space between the two settles, in front of the fire, where he remained standing: his left hand in his pocket, and he biting the forefinger of his right.
`From information I have received,' said he, looking round at us as we all quailed before him, `I have reason to believe there is a blacksmith among you, by name Joseph - or Joe - Gargery. Which is the man?'
`Here is the man,' said Joe.
The strange gentleman beckoned him out of his place, and Joe went.
`You have an apprentice,' pursued the stranger, `commonly known as Pip? Is he here?'
`I am here!' I cried.
The stranger did not recognize me, but I recognized him as the gentleman I had met on the stairs, on the occasion of my second visit to Miss Havisham. I had known him the moment I saw him looking over the settle, and now that I stood confronting him with his hand upon my shoulder, I checked off again in detail, his large head, his dark complexion, his deep-set eyes, his bushy black eyebrows, his large watch-chain, his strong black dots of beard and whisker, and even the smell of scented soap on his great hand.
`I wish to have a private conference with you two,' said he, when he had surveyed me at his leisure. `It will take a little time. Perhaps we had better go to your place of residence. I prefer not to anticipate my communication here; you will impart as much or as little of it as you please to your friends afterwards; I have nothing to do with that.'
Amidst a wondering silence, we three walked out of the Jolly Bargemen, and in a wondering silence walked home. While going along, the strange gentleman occasionally looked at me, and occasionally bit the side of his finger. As we neared home, Joe vaguely acknowledging the occasion as an impressive and ceremonious one, went on ahead to open the front door. Our conference was held in the state parlour, which was feebly lighted by one candle.
It began with the strange gentleman's sitting down at the table, drawing the candle to him, and looking over some entries in his pocket-book. He then put up the pocket-book and set the candle a little aside: after peering round it into the darkness at Joe and me, to ascertain which was which.
`My name,' he said, `is Jaggers, and I am a lawyer in London. I am pretty well known. I have unusual business to transact with you, and I commence by explaining that it is not of my originating. If my advice had been asked, I should not have been here. It was not asked, and you see me here. What I have to do as the confidential agent of another, I do. No less, no more.'
Finding that he could not see us very well from where he sat, he got up, and threw one leg over the back of a chair and leaned upon it; thus having one foot on the seat of the chair, and one foot on the ground.
`Now, Joseph Gargery, I am the bearer of an offer to relieve you of this young fellow your apprentice. You would not object to cancel his indentures, at his request and for his good? You would want nothing for so doing?'
`Lord forbid that I should want anything for not standing in Pip's way,' said Joe, staring.
`Lord forbidding is pious, but not to the purpose,' returned Mr Jaggers. `The question is, Would you want anything? Do you want anything?'
`The answer is,' returned Joe, sternly, `No.'
I thought Mr Jaggers glanced at Joe, as if he considered him a fool for his disinterestedness. But I was too much bewildered between breathless curiosity and surprise, to be sure of it.
`Very well,' said Mr Jaggers. `Recollect the admission you have made, and don't try to go from it presently.'
`Who's a-going to try?' retorted Joe.
`I don't say anybody is. Do you keep a dog?'
`Yes, I do keep a dog.'
`Bear in mind then, that Brag is a good dog, but Holdfast is a better. Bear that in mind, will you?' repeated Mr Jaggers, shutting his eyes and nodding his head at Joe, as if he were forgiving him something. `Now, I return to this young fellow. And the communication I have got to make is, that he has great expectations.'
Joe and I gasped, and looked at one another.
`I am instructed to communicate to him,' said Mr Jaggers, throwing his finger at me sideways, `that he will come into a handsome property. Further, that it is the desire of the present possessor of that property, that he be immediately removed from his present sphere of life and from this place, and be brought up as a gentleman - in a word, as a young fellow of great expectations.'
My dream was out; my wild fancy was surpassed by sober reality; Miss Havisham was going to make my fortune on a grand scale.
`Now, Mr Pip,' pursued the lawyer, `I address the rest of what I have to say, to you. You are to understand, first, that it is the request of the person from whom I take my instructions, that you always bear the name of Pip. You will have no objection, I dare say, to your great expectations being encumbered with that easy condition. But if you have any objection, this is the time to mention it.'
My heart was beating so fast, and there was such a singing in my ears, that I could scarcely stammer I had no objection.
`I should think not! Now you are to understand, secondly, Mr Pip, that the name of the person who is your liberal benefactor remains a profound secret, until the person chooses to reveal it. I am empowered to mention that it is the intention of the person to reveal it at first hand by word of mouth to yourself. When or where that intention may be carried out, I cannot say; no one can say. It may be years hence. Now, you are distinctly to understand that you are most positively prohibited from making any inquiry on this head, or any allusion or reference, however distant, to any individual whomsoever as the individual, in all the communications you may have with me. If you have a suspicion in your own breast, keep that suspicion in your own breast. It is not the least to the purpose what the reasons of this prohibition are; they may be the strongest and gravest reasons, or they may be mere whim. This is not for you to inquire into. The condition is laid down. Your acceptance of it, and your observance of it as binding, is the only remaining condition that I am charged with, by the person from whom I take my instructions, and for whom I am not otherwise responsible. That person is the person from whom you derive your expectations, and the secret is solely held by that person and by me. Again, not a very difficult condition with which to encumber such a rise in fortune; but if you have any objection to it, this is the time to mention it. Speak out.'
Once more, I stammered with difficulty that I had no objection.
`I should think not! Now, Mr Pip, I have done with stipulations.' Though he called me Mr Pip, and began rather to make up to me, he still could not get rid of a certain air of bullying suspicion; and even now he occasionally shut his eyes and threw his finger at me while he spoke, as much as to express that he knew all kinds of things to my disparagement, if he only chose to mention them. `We come next, to mere details of arrangement. You must know that, although I have used the term "expectations" more than once, you are not endowed with expectations only. There is already lodged in my hands, a sum of money amply sufficient for your suitable education and maintenance. You will please consider me your guardian. Oh!' for I was going to thank him, `I tell you at once, I am paid for my services, or I shouldn't render them. It is considered that you must be better educated, in accordance with your altered position, and that you will be alive to the importance and necessity of at once entering on that advantage.'
I said I had always longed for it.
`Never mind what you have always longed for, Mr Pip,' he retorted; `keep to the record. If you long for it now, that's enough. Am I answered that you are ready to be placed at once, under some proper tutor? Is that it?'
I stammered yes, that was it.
`Good. Now, your inclinations are to be consulted. I don't think that wise, mind, but it's my trust. Have you ever heard of any tutor whom you would prefer to another?'
I had never heard of any tutor but Biddy and Mr Wopsle's greataunt; so, I replied in the negative.
`There is a certain tutor, of whom I have some knowledge, who I think might suit the purpose,' said Mr Jaggers. `I don't recommend him, observe; because I never recommend anybody. The gentleman I speak of, is one Mr Matthew Pocket.'
Ah! I caught at the name directly. Miss Havisham's relation. The Matthew whom Mr and Mrs Camilla had spoken of. The Matthew whose place was to be at Miss Havisham's head, when she lay dead, in her bride's dress on the bride's table.
`You know the name?' said Mr Jaggers, looking shrewdly at me, and then shutting up his eyes while he waited for my answer.
My answer was, that I had heard of the name.
`Oh!' said he. `You have heard of the name. But the question is, what do you say of it?'
I said, or tried to say, that I was much obliged to him for his recommendation--
`No, my young friend!' he interrupted, shaking his great head very slowly. `Recollect yourself!'
Not recollecting myself, I began again that I was much obliged to him for his recommendation--
`No, my young friend,' he interrupted, shaking his head and frowning and smiling both at once; `no, no, no; it's very well done, but it won't do; you are too young to fix me with it. Recommendation is not the word, Mr Pip. Try another.'
Correcting myself, I said that I was much obliged to him for his mention of Mr Matthew Pocket--
`That's more like it!' cried Mr Jaggers.
- And (I added), I would gladly try that gentleman.
`Good. You had better try him in his own house. The way shall be prepared for you, and you can see him son first, who is in London. When will you come to London?'
I said (glancing at Joe, who stood looking on, motionless), that I supposed I could come directly.
`First,' said Mr Jaggers, `you should have some new clothes to come in, and they should not be working clothes. Say this day week. You'll want some money. Shall I leave you twenty guineas?'
He produced a long purse, with the greatest coolness, and counted them out in the table and pushed them over to me. This was the first time he had taken his leg from the chair. He sat astride of the chair when he had pushed the money over, and sat swinging his purse and eyeing Joe.
`Well, Joseph Gargery? You look dumbfoundered?'
`I am!' said Joe, in a very decided manner.
`It was understood that you wanted nothing for yourself, remember?'
`It were understood,' said Joe. `And it are understood. And it ever will be similar according.'
`But what,' said Mr Jaggers, swinging his purse, `what if it was in my instructions to make you a present, as compensation?'
`As compensation what for?' Joe demanded.
`For the loss of his services.'
Joe laid his hand upon my shoulder with the touch of a woman. I have often thought him since, like the steam-hammer, that can crush a man or pat an egg-shell, in his combination of strength with gentleness. `Pip is that hearty welcome,' said Joe, `to go free with his services, to honour and fortun', as no words can tell him. But if you think as Money can make compensation to me for the loss of the little child - what come to the forge - and ever the best of friends!--'
O dear good Joe, whom I was so ready to leave and so unthankful to, I see you again, with your muscular blacksmith's arm before your eyes, and your broad chest heaving, and your voice dying away. O dear good faithful tender Joe, I feel the loving tremble of your hand upon my arm, as solemnly this day as if it had been the rustle of an angel's wing!
But I encouraged Joe at the time. I was lost in the mazes of my future fortunes, and could not retrace the by-paths we had trodden together. I begged Joe to be comforted, for (as he said) we had ever been the best of friends, and (as I said) we ever would be so. Joe scooped his eyes with his disengaged wrist, as if he were bent on gouging himself, but said not another word.
Mr Jaggers had looked on at this, as one who recognized in Joe the village idiot, and in me his keeper. When it was over, he said, weighing in his hand the purse he had ceased to swing:
`Now, Joseph Gargery, I warn you this is your last chance. No half measures with me. If you mean to take a present that I have it in charge to make you, speak out, and you shall have it. If on the contrary you mean to say--' Here, to his great amazement, he was stopped by Joe's suddenly working round him with every demonstration of a fell pugilistic purpose.
`Which I meantersay,' cried Joe, `that if you come into my place bull-baiting and badgering me, come out! Which I meantersay as sech if you're a man, come on! Which I meantersay that what I say, I meantersay and stand or fall by!'
I drew Joe away, and he immediately became placable; merely stating to me, in an obliging manner and as a polite expostulatory notice to any one whom it might happen to concern, that he were not a going to be bull-baited and badgered in his own place. Mr Jaggers had risen when Joe demonstrated, and had backed near the door. Without evincing any inclination to come in again, he there delivered his valedictory remarks. They were these:
`Well, Mr Pip, I think the sooner you leave here - as you are to be a gentleman - the better. Let it stand for this day week, and you shall receive my printed address in the meantime. You can take a hackney-coach at the stage-coach office in London, and come straight to me. Understand, that I express no opinion, one way or other, on the trust I undertake. I am paid for undertaking it, and I do so. Now, understand that, finally. Understand that!'
He was throwing his finger at both of us, and I think would have gone on, but for his seeming to think Joe dangerous, and going off.
Something came into my head which induced me to run after him, as he was going down to the Jolly Bargemen where he had left a hired carriage.
`I beg your pardon, Mr Jaggers.'
`Halloa!' said he, facing round, `what's the matter?'
`I wish to be quite right, Mr Jaggers, and to keep to your directions; so I thought I had better ask. Would there be any objection to my taking leave of any one I know, about here, before I go away?'
`No,' said he, looking as if he hardly understood me.
`I don't mean in the village only, but up-town?'
`No,' said he. `No objection.'
I thanked him and ran home again, and there I found that Joe had already locked the front door and vacated the state parlour, and was seated by the kitchen fire with a hand on each knee, gazing intently at the burning coals. I too sat down before the fire and gazed at the coals, and nothing was said for a long time.
My sister was in her cushioned chair in her corner, and Biddy sat at her needlework before the fire, and Joe sat next Biddy, and I sat next Joe in the corner opposite my sister. The more I looked into the glowing coals, the more incapable I became of looking at Joe; the longer the silence lasted, the more unable I felt to speak.
At length I got out, `Joe, have you told Biddy?'
`No, Pip,' returned Joe, still looking at the fire, and holding his knees tight, as if he had private information that they intended to make off somewhere, `which I left it to yourself, Pip.'
`I would rather you told, Joe.'
`Pip's a gentleman of fortun' then,' said Joe, `and God bless him in it!'
Biddy dropped her work, and looked at me. Joe held his knees and looked at me. I looked at both of them. After a pause, they both heartily congratulated me; but there was a certain touch of sadness in their congratulations, that I rather resented.
I took it upon myself to impress Biddy (and through Biddy, Joe) with the grave obligation I considered my friends under, to know nothing and say nothing about the maker of my fortune. It would all come out in good time, I observed, and in the meanwhile nothing was to be said, save that I had come into great expectations from a mysterious patron. Biddy nodded her head thoughtfully at the fire as she took up her work again, and said she would be very particular; and Joe, still detaining his knees, said, `Ay, ay, I'll be ekervally partickler, Pip;' and then they congratulated me again, and went on to express so much wonder at the notion of my being a gentleman, that I didn't half like it.
Infinite pains were then taken by Biddy to convey to my sister some idea of what had happened. To the best of my belief, those efforts entirely failed. She laughed and nodded her head a great many times, and even repeated after Biddy, the words `Pip' and `Property.' But I doubt if they had more meaning in them than an election cry, and I cannot suggest a darker picture of her state of mind.
I never could have believed it without experience, but as Joe and Biddy became more at their cheerful ease again, I became quite gloomy. Dissatisfied with my fortune, of course I could not be; but it is possible that I may have been, without quite knowing it, dissatisfied with myself.
Anyhow, I sat with my elbow on my knee and my face upon my hand, looking into the fire, as those two talked about my going away, and about what they should do without me, and all that. And whenever I caught one of them looking at me, though never so pleasantly (and they often looked at me - particularly Biddy), I felt offended: as if they were expressing some mistrust of me. Though Heaven knows they never did by word or sign.
At those times I would get up and look out at the door; for, our kitchen door opened at once upon the night, and stood open on summer evenings to air the room. The very stars to which I then raised my eyes, I am afraid I took to be but poor and humble stars for glittering on the rustic objects among which I had passed my life.
`Saturday night,' said I, when we sat at our supper of bread-and-cheese and beer. `Five more days, and then the day before the day!They'll soon go.'
`Yes, Pip,' observed Joe, whose voice sounded hollow in his beer mug. `They'll soon go.'
`Soon, soon go,' said Biddy.
`I have been thinking, Joe, that when I go down on Monday, and order my new clothes, I shall tell the tailor that I'll come and put them on there, or that I'll have them sent to Mr Pumblechook's. It would be very disagreeable to be stared at by all the people here.'
`Mr and Mrs Hubble might like to see you in your new genteel figure too, Pip,' said Joe, industriously cutting his bread, with his cheese on it, in the palm of his left hand, and glancing at my untasted supper as if he thought of the time when we used to compare slices. `So might Wopsle. And the Jolly Bargemen might take it as a compliment.'
`That's just what I don't want, Joe. They would make such a business of it - such a coarse and common business - that I couldn't bear myself.'
`Ah, that indeed, Pip!' said Joe. `If you couldn't abear yourself--'
Biddy asked me here, as she sat holding my sister's plate, `Have you thought about when you'll show yourself to Mr Gargery, and your sister, and me? You will show yourself to us; won't you?'
`Biddy,' I returned with some resentment, `you are so exceedingly quick that it's difficult to keep up with you.'
(`She always were quick,' observed Joe.)
`If you had waited another moment, Biddy, you would have heard me say that I shall bring my clothes here in a bundle one evening - most likely on the evening before I go away.'
Biddy said no more. Handsomely forgiving her, I soon exchanged an affectionate good-night with her and Joe, and went up to bed. When I got into my little room, I sat down and took a long look at it, as a mean little room that I should soon be parted from and raised above, for ever, It was furnished with fresh young remembrances too, and even at the same moment I fell into much the same confused division of mind between it and the better rooms to which I was going, as I had been in so often between the forge and Miss Havisham's, and Biddy and Estella.
The sun had been shining brightly all day on the roof of my attic, and the room was warm. As I put the window open and stood looking out, I saw Joe come slowly forth at the dark door below, and take a turn or two in the air; and then I saw Biddy come, and bring him a pipe and light it for him. He never smoked so late, and it seemed to hint to me that he wanted comforting, for some reason or other.
He presently stood at the door immediately beneath me, smoking his pipe, and Biddy stood there too, quietly talking to him, and I knew that they talked of me, for I heard my name mentioned in an endearing tone by both of them more than once. I would not have listened for more, if I could have heard more: so, I drew away from the window, and sat down in my one chair by the bedside, feeling it very sorrowful and strange that this first night of my bright fortunes should be the loneliest I had ever known.
Looking towards the open window, I saw light wreaths from Joe's pipe floating there, and I fancied it was like a blessing from Joe - not obtruded on me or paraded before me, but pervading the air we shared together. I put my light out, and crept into bed; and it was an uneasy bed now, and I never slept the old sound sleep in it any more.
 
我给乔做学徒的第四年，一个星期六的晚上，有一群人聚集在三个快乐的船夫酒店时，围在火炉的四周，正聚精会神地倾听着沃甫赛先生高声朗诵报纸上的文章。我也是这群人中的一个。
那是一则有关一件轰动一时的凶杀案的新闻，沃甫赛先生读得似乎满头满脸都染上了血污一样。他心满意足地把凶杀案中的每一个令人恐怖的形容词都读得有声有色，似乎他自己成了法庭上的一个个证人。他模仿受害人虚弱的呻吟：“我一切都完了。”他又模仿凶手蛮横的怒吼：“我一定要找你报仇。”他还绘声绘色地学着当地医生的语调，提供医药方面的诊断证明，接着又表演了一个管关卡的老头儿，大声哭泣、全身战栗地叙述他听到的打击声。他把这证人表演得瘫作一团，以致听众们会感到怀疑，这个证人的心智是否正常。在沃甫赛的朗诵中，验尸官变成了雅典的泰门，而差役又变成了科里奥兰勒斯。他读得津津有味，我们听得津津有味，而且快乐自在。我们在这种心情非常适宜的情况下，一致裁决这是故意杀人罪。
就在这时，我才注意到有一位陌生的绅士伏在我对面高背椅的靠背上，冷眼观察着这一切。他脸上露出一种轻视的神色，把粗大的食指放在嘴里咬着，一边打量着在座的每一张面孔。
“噢！”这位陌生人在听完了沃甫赛先生的朗诵后，说道，“我看毫无疑问你已经心满意足地审理完了这个案件吧？”
在场的人都大吃一惊，一起抬头看着他，好像这个人就是凶手一样。而他则冷冷地、带着嘲讽的神情也望着大家。
“自然，你是说他有罪，是吗？”陌生人说道，“那你就说出来吧，说吧！”
“先生，”沃甫赛先生答道，“虽然我还无此荣幸和你相谈，不过我认为他是有罪的。”这时，我们也都鼓足勇气，低声附和着，说他有罪。
“我知道你这么认为，”陌生人说道，“其实我早就知道你这么认为，刚才我已经说过了。不过，现在我倒要向你提出一个问题：你知不知道，英格兰有一条法律，即在没有得到证据证明时，每一个人都是清白无辜的。”
“先生，”沃甫赛先生回答道，‘哦作为一名英国人，我——”
“说下去！”陌生人对着他咬着自己的食指，说道，“不要回避问题，你究竟是知道还是不知道这条法律。哪一个是你的回答？”
他站在那里头歪向一边，身子歪向另一边，完全是一副气势汹汹的责问神气，伸出食指，点着沃甫赛先生——仿佛特意点着他让大家知道——然后，又继续咬他的食指。
“你说！”他问道，“你究竟知道还是不知道？”
“我当然知道这条法律。”沃甫赛先生回答道。
“既然你当然知道，刚才为什么不早说呢？好吧！我再问你一个问题，”沃甫赛先生好像完全处在他的操纵之中，受着他的摆布。“你可知道所有那些证人都还没有经过法律盘问这一事实？”
沃甫赛先生刚开始说“我只能说——”，话便被陌生人打断了。
“怎么？你不想用是或不是来回答这个问题？好，我再问一遍。”他又用食指点着沃甫赛，“看着我，你知道还是不知道所有这些证人都还没有经过法律盘问？说吧，我只要你说一个字：是抑或非？”
沃甫赛先生吞吞吐吐的，不知该怎么答才好。我们开始对他转变了态度，敬佩之情减低了。
“你就说吧！”陌生人说道，“我来帮帮你，虽然你并不值得我帮忙，但我还是帮帮你吧。先看看你手中拿的这张报纸，报纸上是怎么写的？”
“报纸上怎么写的？”沃甫赛先生看了一眼报纸，给弄得不知所措，只得重复了一句。
陌生人以极具讽刺意味的态度和令人捉摸不定的神情又说道：“你刚才读的是不是这张印着字的报纸？”
“毋庸置疑。”
“既然毋庸置疑便好办。那么把报纸翻开，再告诉我报纸上是不是清清楚楚地印着犯人明明白白的声明，他的法律顾问们都要他保留辩护权？”
“我刚刚才看到这一段。”沃甫赛先生抗辩道。
“别管你刚刚才看到什么，先生，我并没问你刚刚才看到什么。只要你高兴，你尽可以去倒着读主祷文，当然，也许你早就倒着读了。还是来说报纸吧，不，不，朋友，不是栏目的开头，那些你都已经看过了，往下看，往下看。”（这时，我们都觉得沃甫赛先生很会耍花样。）“怎么样？你找到了吗？”
“在这里。”沃甫赛先生说道。
“好吧，你用眼睛好好看一下这一节，然后告诉我，它是不是清清楚楚地指出犯人明明白白地声明他的法律顾问们要他保留辩护权？说吧，是不是如此？”
沃甫赛先生答道：“措词可不太相同啊。”
“措词虽然不太相同，”这位绅士尖刻地说道，“可意思是不是一致呢？”
“那倒一致。”沃甫赛先生答道。
“那倒一致。”陌生人重复道。他看了看周围的人，又把右手向证人沃甫赛伸去，“诸位，现在我来请教大家，这一段新闻明明在他眼前，可是这个人根本不去理会它，竟然把一个没有经过审讯的同胞判成有罪，事后还能安心地睡大觉。你们对他的良知有何评价？”
我们大家都开始怀疑沃甫赛先生并不是我们曾经想象的那种人，他的马脚已经开始为人们所觉察。
“不要忘记，诸位，就是他这一类的人，”这位绅士把手指指向沃甫赛先生，趁势紧逼道，“就是像他这样的人有可能会被召去充当陪审员，参加审理案件，掌握着生杀大权。他嘴上郑重其事地宣誓，说要忠诚地为国王陛下效劳，在法庭上公正地审理犯人，根据证据提供判决，顺天行法，可就在像刚才那样尽过职责后，他却能回到家中，只顾自己安安稳稳地睡大觉。”
我们现在才深深地体会到，这位不幸的沃甫赛的确是过分了，如果他适时而收，停止他的自以为是，情况也许大不相同。
这位陌生的绅士有一副不容争辩的威严气慨，而且他的态度明显地表现出他了解我们当中每一个人的秘密，他高兴揭露谁，谁准保垮台。这时，他从椅子的高靠背后走出来，走到两张高背靠椅之间的地方，正对着火炉。他就站在那里，左手插在口袋里，右手的食指放在嘴巴中咬着。
“根据我所得到的信息，”他用眼睛扫视了一下四周十分沮丧的我们，说道，“我有充分的理由断定在你们中间有一位铁匠，叫做约瑟夫，或者叫做乔•葛奇里。哪一位是他？”
“我就是。”乔说道。
这位陌生的先生向他招招手，示意他过去。乔便走到他跟前。
“你有一个学徒，”陌生人继续说，“人们都叫他皮普，是吗？他来了吗？”
“我来了！”我大声喊道。
陌生人并没认出我，而我一下子便认出了他。他就是我第二次到郝维仙小姐家去时，在楼梯上遇到的那位绅士。刚才他伏在靠背上的时候我就认出了他，现在我面对他站着，他的一只手搭在我的肩头，我便详细地核实了他的相貌，他的大头、黑色的面容、深陷的双眼、又浓又黑的眉毛、粗大的表链、脸上一点一点又硬又黑的胡茬子，甚至还有他那大手上发出的香皂气味。
“我想和你们两位谈一些私事，”他从容不迫地打量了我之后说道，“这需要一些时间，我看就到你们府上去谈吧，那儿是最方便的。究竟谈什么我不想现在就说，至于以后，你们把这事告诉你们的至亲好友或者不告诉他们由你们决定，因为那和我没有关系。”
我们三人在令人奇怪的沉默中走出了三个快乐的船夫酒店，又在令人奇怪的沉默中回到了家。一路上，这位陌生人偶然地会看我一眼，又偶然地会把他的指尖放在嘴里咬一阵。到了家门日时，乔模模糊糊地意识到此人造访的重要性，为了表示其隆重，便先走一步过去把大门打开，在客厅里点燃起一根发出微弱光辉的蜡烛，我们的交谈便开始了。
一开始，陌生人先在桌子旁边坐下来，伸手把蜡烛拉得靠近一些，看着他笔记本上记的什么东西，然后又把笔记本收了起来。他打量着坐在黑暗中的乔和我，在确认了究竟谁是谁之后，他把蜡烛又移开了一些。
“我的名字叫贾格斯，”他说道，“是伦敦的律师，有点儿名气。今天我来是要和你们办一件不寻常的事情。我首先要告诉你们，办这件事不是我的主意。如果事先要问我一下，我就不会到这儿来，正因为事先没有征询我的意见，所以我就径自来了。我是受人委托，作为他的秘密代理人来和你们办这件事的。整个事情就是如此。”
他感到从他坐着的那个地方看不清我们，干脆站了起来，把一条腿跨过椅背，靠在那里站着，于是他的一只脚就踩在了椅座上，另一只脚则踩在地上。
“现在我要问你，约瑟夫•葛奇里，我受人委托向你提出解除你和你的徒弟，即和这位年轻人之间师徒关系的请求。为了这位年轻人的前途着想，你该不会反对他向你提出要求解除师徒和约的请求吧？你会提出什么条件吗？”
乔惊奇地睁大眼睛答道：“为了皮普的前程，我是不提任何条件的。我那样做，天主不容。”
“天主不容表明你的虔诚善心，但却不是回答，”贾格斯先生说道，“我要问的是，你会有什么要求吗？你到底有没有什么要求？”
乔很严肃地答道：“我的回答是没有。”
贾格斯先生瞅着乔。我暗自思忖，他好像在研究乔这么无私心杂念，究竟是不是一个大傻瓜。我当时由于好奇和惊讶，气都透不过来了。由于这种过分的紧张和手足无措，我对他们的观察也不仔细了。
“很好，”贾格斯先生说道，“记住你的语言，切记不要一会儿又改变主意。”
“谁会改变主意？”乔反驳道。
“我没有说谁会改变主意。你家养着狗吗？”
“我们养了一条狗。”
“那么记住：自夸虽然好，牢靠就更妙。记住这句话，你看行吗？”贾格斯先生反复说着，并闭上眼睛朝乔点了点头，好像他原谅了乔做的什么错事一样。“行了，那么话归正题，来谈谈这位年轻人吧。我来到这里所要说的是，他可望获得一大笔遗产。”
乔和我一听此话，惊得喘不过气来，只有面面相觑。
“本人受委托来通知他，”贾格斯先生说道，伸出手指斜着指向我，“他可望继承一笔相当大的财产。此外，这财产目前的所有人希望这个年轻人脱离他当前的生活环境，并离开这个地方，去接受上流社会的教育，简而言之，要把他作为大笔遗产的继承人来培养。”
我的梦想实现了，我疯狂的幻想成为了清晰的现实。一定是郝维仙小姐使我走向了一条幸运的道路。
“现在，皮普先生，”这位律师对我说道，“现在还有些话我必须对你说。首先，从委托人那里我带来了一个要求，即要你永远使用皮普这个名字。你将接受一大笔遗产而仅仅有这么一个简单的条件，我想你是不至于反对的。假使你有反对的意见，现在有时间可以先把它提出来。”
这时，我的心跳动得很快，甚至在我的耳中也响起了不断的震动声。我好容易才结结巴巴地说了句不反对。
“我想你也是不会反对的！现在我必须让你知道，第二点，皮普先生，对于这位慷慨解囊的恩主的名字，我必须严守秘密，直到他觉得什么时候合适才能告诉你。我受权向你说明，当事人将根据他所认为合适的时候亲自告诉你。至于什么时间或什么地点这个愿望可得实现，我无法奉告，也没有人知道。也许要等到多年之后。现在，我要清楚地告诉你：今后在你和我的交往过程中，你万万不许问及这件事，哪怕是暗示一下，或者运用其他办法说此人可能是某某人等等均不允许。如果你感到心中有怀疑，那你就在自己心中怀疑好了。这一禁忌的理由是什么并非是毫无道理的，其理由也许是重要的，也许是有根据的，也许是一时的高兴，反正这些你都不许问及。条件已经讲明，接下来的是你必须接受这些条件并遵守这些条件。这便是我受当事人的委托、按照他的指示要处理的事务，此外再不负其他责任。此人就是那位准备给你大笔遗产的人，其秘密也只有他本人和我知道。再说，能使你青云直上，这个条件并不难接受。不过，如果你有反对意见，现在还有时间，你可以提出来。好，说吧。”
我又一次结结巴巴、困难重重地表示我不反对。
“我想你也不会反对的！那么，皮普先生，我已经和你定好了条件。”虽然他口中称呼我皮普先生，对我的态度也开始有了些改进，但他仍然脱不了那一副趾高气昂的怀疑姿态，不时地还要闭上双目，向我伸出手指头，点点戳戳地说话，似乎表示他知道我的所有底细，只要他高兴一一点破，我就将声名俱毁。“下面我们就具体的细节安排进行协商。你必须明白，虽然我已经用了遗产这个词，而且不止一次地用到它，其实你还不仅仅有这笔遗产。在我手里已接受了他存的一大笔现款，足够供给你接受良好教育和维持生活。你可以把我当成你的保护人。噢！”我正准备向他道谢，他又说道，“我还得告诉你，我为他服务他是给我报酬的，如果没有报酬我是不会白干的。考虑到你环境的改变，你必须受良好教育以与之相称，必须充分意识到立即抓住这有利时机的重要性和必要性。”
我说我从前就一直渴求有这个机会。
“皮普先生，不必再提你过去渴求什么了，”他责备我道，“就到此为止。只要你现在渴求这一切就够了。我想你是准备立刻找一位合适的老师开始受教育，是不是这样？”
我结结巴巴地说是这样。
“那就好。现在我来看看你的意见，不过我得告诉你，先征求你的意见不一定是明智之举，我只是受人委托。你听到过有哪一位老师你认为是不错的？”
因为我除了毕蒂和沃甫赛先生的姑婆外，没有听说过有其他的老师，所以我的回答是否定的。
“有一位老师，我对他有些了解，我想他很适合来教育你。”贾格斯先生说道，“你要知道，我不是向你推荐他，因为我从来不推荐任何人。我刚才说的这位先生是马休•鄱凯特先生。”
啊，我一听就知道这个人是谁了。他是郝维仙小姐的亲戚。卡美拉先生和卡美拉夫人曾经提到过这个马休。等郝维仙小姐死后，穿着新娘的衣服躺在那张喜筵桌上时，就是这位马休要站在她的头那边。
“你知道这个人吗？”贾格斯先生敏锐地瞥了我一眼说道，然后闭上双眼，好像在等待我的回答。
我告诉他我曾经听到过这个名字。
“噢！”他说道，“你听到过这个名字！不过，我要问的是你觉得这个人怎么样？”
我说，或者说我想说，我非常非常地感谢他的推荐——
他不等我说完便打断了我，慢慢地摇晃着他的那颗大脑袋，说：“不，我年轻的朋友！要想一想！”
我什么也想不起来，便又说我非常非常地感谢他的推荐——
他又没有等我讲完便打断了我，摇晃着脑袋，同时又皱眉又微笑。“不，我年轻的朋友，不，不，不。这话是不错，不过这样不行。你太年轻，别想用那个词来讨好。不能用推荐这个词儿，皮普先生，设法换一个词。”
我便改正说我非常非常地感谢他提到马休•鄱凯特先生——
“这还差不多！”贾格斯先生说道。
我补充说我十分高兴找这位先生试试。
“好吧，你最好还是到他家里去试一下。你的一切我会为你安排，你可以先去看望他的儿子，他在伦敦。你准备什么时候会伦敦？”
我瞥了一眼乔，见他站在那里呆望着什么，一动也不动，同时说我想随时都可以动身。
贾格先生说道：“首先你得做几件新衣服，要新衣服，而不是工作服。就说定下星期的今天启程吧。你会需要钱的，我留给你二十个金币怎样？”
他十分冷静地拿出了一个长长的钱袋，把一块块金币数出来放在桌上，然后又把它们推到我手边。现在，他才第一次把腿从椅子上放下来。他把钱推给了我之后，便叉开双腿坐在椅子上。他坐在那里晃荡着钱袋，同时看着乔。
“喂，约瑟夫•葛奇里你怎么了？你在发愣是吗？”
“是的！”乔说道，态度非常坚定。
“你刚才说你没有什么要求，你还没有忘记吧？”
“我刚才说过，”乔说道，“现在我还是这么说，而且我永远也这么说。”
“不过，”贾格斯先生摇晃着他的钱袋说道，“如果当事人委托我送给你一笔钱作为补偿，你又怎么说呢？”
“补偿什么？”乔问道。
“补偿他不再给你工作，对你造成的损失。”
乔小心翼翼地像女人那样把手轻轻地放在我肩头上。自此后我时常想，他好比一柄蒸汽锤，既能一锤压死一个人，又能一锤下去恰到好处地轻拍在鸡蛋的壳上，真是刚中带柔。乔说道：“皮普能脱离铁匠铺去过幸福的生活，我是求之不得，太高兴了，没有话可说。可是，皮普和我永远是最好的朋友，他的走确是铁匠铺的损失，可如果你以为钱可以补偿这孩子离开我的损失——”
哦，亲爱的善良的乔，那时我竟然下定决心离开你，而对你又那般忘情忘义。现在，你的身影仿佛又在我眼前，你用铁匠强壮的臂膀遮住泪眼，宽阔的胸脯上下起伏，你的语音低沉得以致难以发出。哦，亲爱的善良的乔，现在我仿佛仍然感觉到你当时搁在我肩头上的手带有爱抚的颤抖，就像天使在扑打着羽翼，现在回忆起来仍令我对你肃然起敬！
可是在那时，我由于迷恋未来的幸福，怎想再重蹈以往走过的人生窄道，所以我劝乔不必那般难过，请求乔放宽心，因为他说我们永远是最好的朋友，而我说我们以后仍然是最好的朋友。乔用另一只手腕擦着眼中流下的泪珠，仿佛连眼珠都要拣出来似的，只是再也说不出别的话来。
贾格斯先生把这一切都看在眼里。在他眼里，乔似乎成了一个白痴乡巴佬，而我是这个白痴的守护人。他看完这一切后，又把那已不再晃动的钱袋在手中掂量了几下说道：
“约瑟夫•葛奇里，我再说一次，这是你最后的机会。用不着和我耍手段，这笔礼金是有人委托我带给你的，你说愿意接受，这便是你的，假使相反，你说——”说到这里，他突然看到乔就像一名残忍凶狠的拳击手一样做出一些吓人的动作，于是在惊讶之中停下了话音。
乔叫喊道：“我看你到我家来要是为了逗弄戏耍我，你就站出来！我看你要是一个男子汉大丈夫，你就过来！我看这就是我要说的，你看着办吧，要么收起你那一套，要么伸出你的拳头！”
我把乔拖到一边，他立刻平心静气下来。他只是亲切而有礼貌地对我说，他决不能在自己家中被人家当狗使唤当牛逗乐受人欺侮，同时这也是以一种礼貌的方法告诫对方。贾格斯先生见到乔刚才的样子就已经站起来，一直退到了门口。他没有任何再想进来的表示，就只是站在那里发表了他的告别辞，全文是：
“皮普先生，就这样好了。你要成为上流社会的人，我以为你还是趁早离开这里，愈快愈好。定于下星期的今天出发，届时我会给你一张印有地址的名片。你到伦敦可以在驿站雇一辆出租马车直接到我那里。你要明白我没有个人意图，不管怎样，我只是受人之托。我只是受别人雇佣办事，照约定办事。这一点你必须明白，你必须弄明白。”
他朝我们两人伸出了手指。我想他本来还有什么话要说的，只因为深怕乔干出危险的事儿，只有一走了事了。
我忽然想到一件事，不得不拔腿追上去，一直追到了三个快乐的船夫酒店。我知道他有一辆雇来的马车停在那儿。
“贾格斯先生，对不起我有些事打扰您了。”
“唔！”他转过脸来说，“你有什么事？”
“贾格斯先生，我想应该按照您的指示办事，才能把事情办得很顺利，所以我想问您一下，在我离开之前可不可以和我认识的一些熟人告别，您说呢？”
“我不反对。”他说着，看上去好像不大懂得我的意思。
“我不是指村子里认识的人，而是指镇上认识的人。”
“不，我不反对。”他答道。
我对他表示了谢意之后便赶忙跑回来，一到家就看到乔已经锁上了大门，离开了客厅，坐在厨房里的火炉旁边，两只手放在两只膝盖上，出神地看着正在燃烧着的火红的煤块。我便也坐在炉火之前，注视着煤块，无言地坐了好一段时间。
我姐姐倚靠在有软垫子的圈椅上，椅子放在火炉的一个角上，毕蒂也坐在炉前干着针线活儿，她旁边是乔，乔的旁边是我，我正在我姐姐的对面。我越是凝视着发出红光的煤块我就越不可能看乔一眼，沉默的时间拖得越长久也就越难以开口打破沉静的局面。
终于，我实在忍不住了，说道：“乔，你已告诉毕蒂了吗？”
“皮普，还没有呢。”乔仍然望着火炉，紧紧地抓住双膝不放松，仿佛他得到了秘密情报，知道这两个膝盖企图逃跑。他说道：“皮普，还是你自己告诉她吧。”
“乔，我想还是由你讲更好。”
于是乔说道：“皮普成了一个有钱的绅士了，愿上帝保信他！”
毕蒂停下手中的针线活儿，看着我。乔抱着两个膝盖也望着我。我也望着他们两个人。隔了片刻，他们两人便衷心地向我道贺。我感到在他们两人的祝贺中有那么一点伤心，这使我有些不愉快。
我利用这个时机让毕蒂知道，也是通过毕蒂让乔知道，因为他们都是我的好朋友，也就该严格遵守义务，不能打探消息，揣测我的恩人是谁，也不能议论他的长短。我告诉他们，要耐心等待，一旦时机成熟，真情便自然会显露出来，因而目前什么都得守口如瓶、秘而不宜。如果有人问起，就说有一位不知姓名的神秘恩主将可能给我一笔遗产。毕蒂一面重新拿起活儿做起来，一面对着火炉若有所思地点点头，并且表示她会特别提防的。乔依然抓着双膝不放，说：“嗳，嗳，皮普，我也会特别提防的。”接着他们又祝贺我，又一再表明他们可真没有想到，我居然真的成为上流社会的人了，不过这话我一点都不喜欢听。
毕蒂花了很大功夫，作了许多努力，才让我姐姐了解了一些关于我的情况。不过，根据我的看法，毕蒂完全是白费力气。我姐姐笑着，不断地点着头。毕蒂说一声 “皮普”，她就回应一声“皮普”，毕蒂又说一声“财产”，她又回应一声“财产”。我总在怀疑，这就像竟选时的叫喊一样，大家这样讲，我也这样讲，并无多大意义。说实话，我根本无法用文字描绘出她那内在的、令人无法了解的心态图。
如果不是我个人的亲身体验，我是绝不会相信的，然而事实如此，乔和毕蒂又有说有笑轻松自如了，只留得我心中郁郁寡欢。自然，对我的幸运我不会感到不满，如果说有什么不满只是不满自己而已，尽管我也不了解对自己不满的真正原因。
不管怎样，我坐在那里，把胳膊肘搁在膝盖头上，用手撑着面孔，凝望着炉火，而他们正谈论着我的离家，谈论着我走了他们该怎么办，还有其他的什么等等。只要他们有一个人看着我（因为他们时常瞅着我，特别是毕蒂），虽然神情显得那么愉快，我还是感到受到了侮辱，好像他们不信任我似的。其实老天都知道，他们无论在言语上或是在动作上都没有表现出这个意思。
每遇这种时候，我便会站起来走到门外四处闲望。因为厨房的门一打开便可以看到远处的夜景，在夏天的夜晚为了给室内通风，门总是开着的。那天，我抬头仰视着天空的繁星，感到这些星星都是些可怜的星星，下贱的星星，因为这些星星所照射的不过是我曾生活其间的乡村野景。
我们坐下来吃着面包奶酪饮着啤酒当晚餐时，我说道：“从今天星期六晚上算起，再有五天就是动身的前一天了，五天一转眼就会过去的。”
“日子过得很快，皮普，”乔边饮酒边说话，声音听起来瓮瓮的，“五天一转眼就会过去的。”
“过起来真快得不得了。”毕蒂说道。
“乔，我在想，星期日我要到镇上去订做新衣服。我准备告诉裁缝做好后放在那里等我自己去穿，要么就让他们送到彭波契克先生家里。我想要是回来穿，这里的人们都会瞪着大眼瞅着我，那可真让人讨厌。”
“皮普，胡卜先生和夫人说不定想看一下你这位新绅士的派头呢。”乔说着，把面包连同奶酪一起放在他的左手掌中用心地切着，同时看了一眼我那还未尝过的晚餐，仿佛回忆起当年我们总是比赛谁吃得快的情形。“还有沃甫赛也想瞧瞧你，三个快乐的船夫酒店会把这当作大喜事呢。”
“乔，我就是不希望他们这样做。他们会小题大作，什么粗俗的下贱事都干得出，那我可不能忍受。”
“唔，皮普，这倒是真的！”乔说道，“要是你忍受不了——”
毕蒂这时正坐在我姐姐旁边端着盘子喂她吃饭。她问我道：“你想不想穿起来给葛奇里先生、给你姐姐、还有给我看看呢？你会穿起来给我们欣赏一下，对吗？”
“毕蒂，”我有些不满地答道，“你脑子动得真快，我可没法和你相比。”
（“她脑子动得总是那么快。”乔说道。）
“毕蒂，你要是多等一会，就会听到我说，我打算在某一天的晚上把衣服包好带到这里来，很可能就在我动身的前一晚。”
毕蒂没有再说什么。我宽宏大量地原宥了她，然后不一会儿便和乔及毕蒂交换了亲切的晚安，上楼睡觉去了。走进自己的小房间，我先坐下来打量了四周好一会儿，心想这是一个多么卑微的小房间，而不久我就将与它告别，我的身份已经提高，而且永远不会再住到这里。不过，正是这个小房间给了我多少饶有兴味的儿时回忆。这时，我的沉思又坠人混乱之中，简直使我惶恐不安。这间卑微的陋室和我即将去住的华屋相比，哪一间更好呢？这里的铁匠铺和郝维仙小姐的家宅，哪一个更好呢？还有毕蒂和埃斯苔娜，又是谁更好呢？
我这间小屋从早到晚都受到明亮的太阳照射，即使晚上也还保持着温暖。我站起来打开窗，立在窗口向外眺望，忽见乔从黑洞洞的屋门走出，在外面兜了一两个圈子；然后我又看到毕蒂也走出来递给他烟斗，并为他点好了烟。我知道他向来不在这么晚的时候抽烟，是不是有什么不快，或是由于什么其他的原因？
乔站在门口，就站在我的正下方，抽着烟斗。毕蒂也站在那里，和他悄悄地谈论着什么。我知道他们谈论着我，因为我听到他们用爱惜的口吻提到我的名字，而且不止一次。即使我能很清楚地听到他们谈话，我也不想再听下去。于是，我从窗口退回，坐在我床旁边的一张椅子上，莫名其妙地感到一阵伤感。这是我生活转向光明未来的第一个夜晚，而就是此晚我却感到从来没有过的孤寂。
向着打开的窗口望去，我看到一缕缕轻烟从乔的烟斗中徐徐升起，在半空飘浮，立刻在我脑海中便想到这就像是乔对我的祝福——它不是硬迫使我接受，也不是想对我表演一番，这缕缕轻烟就那么弥漫在我和乔共同呼吸的空气之中。想到这里，我吹熄烛火，翻身上床。可是这张床现在也让我感到很不舒服，虽然睡在床上，可是再也不能进入像以往那样的酣睡甜眠。
Chapter 19
MORNING made a considerable difference in my general prospect of Life, and brightened it so much that it scarcely seemed the same. What lay heaviest on my mind, was, the consideration that six days intervened between me and the day of departure; for, I could not divest myself of a misgiving that something might happen to London in the meanwhile, and that, when I got there, it would be either greatly deteriorated or clean gone. 
Joe and Biddy were very sympathetic and pleasant when I spoke of our approaching separation; but they only referred to it when I did. After breakfast, Joe brought out my indentures from the press in the best parlour, and we put them in the fire, and I felt that I was free. With all the novelty of my emancipation on me, I went to church with Joe, and thought, perhaps the clergyman wouldn't have read that about the rich man and the kingdom of Heaven, if he had known all.
After our early dinner I strolled out alone, purposing of finish off the marshes at once, and get them done with. As I passed the church, I felt (as I had felt during service in the morning) a sublime compassion for the poor creatures who were destined to go there, Sunday after Sunday, all their lives through, and to lie obscurely at last among the low green mounds. I promised myself that I would do something for them one of these days, and formed a plan in outline for bestowing a dinner of roast-beef and plumpudding, a pint of ale, and a gallon of condescension, upon everybody in the village.
If I had often thought before, with something allied to shame, of my companionship with the fugitive whom I had once seen limping among those graves, what were my thoughts on this Sunday, when the place recalled the wretch, ragged and shivering, with his felon iron and badge! My comfort was, that it happened a long time ago, and that he had doubtless been transported a long way off, and that he was dead to me, and might be veritably dead into the bargain.
No more low wet grounds, no more dykes and sluices, no more of these grazing cattle - though they seemed, in their dull manner, to wear a more respectful air now, and to face round, in order that they might stare as long as possible at the possessor of such great expectations - farewell, monotonous acquaintances of my childhood, henceforth I was for London and greatness: not for smith's work in general and for you! I made my exultant way to the old Battery, and, lying down there to consider the question whether Miss Havisham intended me for Estella, fell asleep.
When I awoke, I was much surprised to find Joe sitting beside me, smoking his pipe. He greeted me with a cheerful smile on my opening my eyes, and said:
`As being the last time, Pip, I thought I'd foller.'
`And Joe, I am very glad you did so.'
`Thankee, Pip.'
`You may be sure, dear Joe,' I went on, after we had shaken hands, `that I shall never forget you.'
`No, no, Pip!' said Joe, in a comfortable tone, `I'm sure of that. Ay, ay, old chap! Bless you, it were only necessary to get it well round in a man's mind, to be certain on it. But it took a bit of time to get it well round, the change come so oncommon plump; didn't it?'
Somehow, I was not best pleased with Joe's being so mightily secure of me. I should have liked him to have betrayed emotion, or to have said, `It does you credit, Pip,' or something of that sort. Therefore, I made no remark on Joe's first head: merely saying as to his second, that the tidings had indeed come suddenly, but that I had always wanted to be a gentleman, and had often and often speculated on what I would do, if I were one.
`Have you though?' said Joe. `Astonishing!'
`It's a pity now, Joe,' said I, `that you did not get on a little more, when we had our lessons here; isn't it?'
`Well, I don't know,' returned Joe. `I'm so awful dull. I'm only master of my own trade. It were always a pity as I was so awful dull; but it's no more of a pity now, than it was - this day twelvemonth - don't you see?'
What I had meant was, that when I came into my property and was able to do something for Joe, it would have been much more agreeable if he had been better qualified for a rise in station. He was so perfectly innocent of my meaning, however, that I thought I would mention it to Biddy in preference.
So, when we had walked home and had had tea, I took Biddy into our little garden by the side of the lane, and, after throwing out in a general way for elevation of her spirits, that I should never forget her, said I had a favour to ask of her.
`And it is, Biddy,' said I, `that you will not omit any opportunity of helping Joe on, a little.'
`How helping him on?' asked Biddy, with a steady sort of glance.
`Well! Joe is a dear good fellow - in fact, I think he is the dearest fellow that ever lived - but he is rather backward in some things. For instance, Biddy, in his learning and his manners.'
Although I was looking at Biddy as I spoke, and although she opened her eyes very wide when I had spoken, she did not look at me.
`Oh, his manners! won't his manners do, then?' asked Biddy, plucking a black-currant leaf.
`My dear Biddy, they do very well here--'
`Oh! they do very well here?' interrupted Biddy, looking closely at the leaf in her hand.
`Hear me out - but if I were to remove Joe into a higher sphere, as I shall hope to remove him when I fully come into my property, they would hardly do him justice.'
`And don't you think he knows that?' asked Biddy.
It was such a very provoking question (for it had never in the most distant manner occurred to me), that I said, snappishly, `Biddy, what do you mean?'
Biddy having rubbed the leaf to pieces between her hands - and the smell of a black-currant bush has ever since recalled to me that evening in the little garden by the side of the lane - said, `Have you never considered that he may be proud?'
`Proud?' I repeated, with disdainful emphasis.
`Oh! there are many kinds of pride,' said Biddy, looking full at me and shaking her head; `pride is not all of one kind--'
`Well? What are you stopping for?' said I.
`Not all of one kind,' resumed Biddy. `He may be too proud to let any one take him out of a place that he is competent to fill, and fills well and with respect. To tell you the truth, I think he is: though it sounds bold in me to say so, for you must know him far better than I do.'
`Now, Biddy,' said I, `I am very sorry to see this in you. I did not expect to see this in you. You are envious, Biddy, and grudging. You are dissatisfied on account of my rise in fortune, and you can't help showing it.'
`If you have the heart to think so,' returned Biddy, `say so. Say so over and over again, if you have the heart to think so.'
`If you have the heart to be so, you mean, Biddy,' said I, in a virtuous and superior tone; `don't put it off upon me. I am very sorry to see it, and it's a - it's a bad side of human nature. I did intend to ask you to use any little opportunities you might have after I was gone, of improving dear Joe. But after this, I ask you nothing. I am extremely sorry to see this in you, Biddy,' I repeated. `It's a - it's a bad side of human nature.'
`Whether you scold me or approve of me,' returned poor Biddy, `you may equally depend upon my trying to do all that lies in my power, here, at all times. And whatever opinion you take away of me, shall make no difference in my remembrance of you. Yet a gentleman should not be unjust neither,' said Biddy, turning away her head.
I again warmly repeated that it was a bad side of human nature (in which sentiment, waiving its application, I have since seen reason to think I was right), and I walked down the little path away from Biddy, and Biddy went into the house, and I went out at the garden gate and took a dejected stroll until supper-time; again feeling it very sorrowful and strange that this, the second night of my bright fortunes, should be as lonely and unsatisfactory as the first.
But, morning once more brightened my view, and I extended my clemency to Biddy, and we dropped the subject. Putting on the best clothes I had, I went into town as early as I could hope to find the shops open, and presented myself before Mr Trabb, the tailor: who was having his breakfast in the parlour behind his shop, and who did not think it worth his while to come out to me, but called me in to him.
`Well!' said Mr Trabb, in a hail-fellow-well-met kind of way. `How are you, and what can I do for you?'
Mr Trabb had sliced his hot roll into three feather beds, and was slipping butter in between the blankets, and covering it up. He was a prosperous old bachelor, and his open window looked into a prosperous little garden and orchard, and there was a prosperous iron safe let into the wall at the side of his fireplace, and I did not doubt that heaps of his prosperity were put away in it in bags.
`Mr Trabb,' said I, `it's an unpleasant thing to have to mention, because it looks like boasting; but I have come into a handsome property.'
A change passed over Mr Trabb. He forgot the butter in bed, got up from the bedside, and wiped his fingers on the table-cloth, exclaiming, `Lord bless my soul!'
`I am going up to my guardian in London,' said I, casually drawing some guineas out of my pocket and looking at them; `and I want a fashionable suit of clothes to go in. I wish to pay for them,' I added - otherwise I thought he might only pretend to make them - `with ready money.'
`My dear sir,' said Mr Trabb, as he respectfully bent his body, opened his arms, and took the liberty of touching me on the outside of each elbow, `don't hurt me by mentioning that. May I venture to congratulate you? Would you do me the favour of stepping into the shop?'
Mr Trabb's boy was the most audacious boy in all that countryside. When I had entered he was sweeping the shop, and he had sweetened his labours by sweeping over me. He was still sweeping when I came out into the shop with Mr Trabb, and he knocked the broom against all possible corners and obstacles, to express (as I understood it) equality with any blacksmith, alive or dead.
`Hold that noise,' said Mr Trabb, with the greatest sternness, `or I'll knock your head off! Do me the favour to be seated, sir. Now, this,' said Mr Trabb, taking down a roll of cloth, and tiding it out in a flowing manner over the counter, preparatory to getting his hand under it to show the gloss, `is a very sweet article. I can recommend it for your purpose, sir, because it really is extra super. But you shall see some others. Give me Number Four, you!' (To the boy, and with a dreadfully severe stare: foreseeing the danger of that miscreant's brushing me with it, or making some other sign of familiarity.)
Mr Trabb never removed his stern eye from the boy until he had deposited number four on the counter and was at a safe distance again. Then, he commanded him to bring number five, and number eight. `And let me have none of your tricks here,' said Mr Trabb, `or you shall repent it, you young scoundrel, the longest day you have to live.'
Mr Trabb then bent over number four, and in a sort of deferential confidence recommended it to me as a light article for summer wear, an article much in vogue among the nobility and gentry, and article that it would ever be an honour to him to reflect upon a distinguished fellow-townsman's (if he might claim me for a fellowtownsman) having worn. `Are you bringing numbers five and eight, you vagabond,' said Mr Trabb to the boy after that, `or shall I kick you out of the shop and bring them myself?'
I selected the materials for a suit, with the assistance of Mr Trabb's judgment, and re-entered the parlour to be measured. For, although Mr Trabb had my measure already, and had previously been quite contented with it, he said apologetically that it `wouldn't do under existing circumstances, sir - wouldn't do at all.' So, Mr Trabb measured and calculated me, in the parlour, as if I were an estate and he the finest species of surveyor, and gave himself such a world of trouble that I felt that no suit of clothes could possibly remunerate him for his pains. When he had at last done and had appointed to send the articles to Mr Pumblechook's on the Thursday evening, he said, with his hand upon the parlour lock, `I know, sir, that London gentlemen cannot be expected to patronize local work, as a rule; but if you would give me a turn now and then in the quality of a townsman, I should greatly esteem it. Good morning, sir, much obliged. - Door!'
The last word was flung at the boy, who had not the least notion what it meant. But I saw him collapse as his master rubbed me out with his hands, and my first decided experience of the stupendous power of money, was, that it had morally laid upon his back, Trabb's boy.
After this memorable event, I went to the hatter's, and the bootmaker's, and the hosier's, and felt rather like Mother Hubbard's dog whose outfit required the services of so many trades. I also went to the coach-office and took my place for seven o'clock on Saturday morning. It was not necessary to explain everywhere that I had come into a handsome property; but whenever I said anything to that effect, it followed that the officiating tradesman ceased to have his attention diverted through the window by the High-street, and concentrated his mind upon me. When I had ordered everything I wanted, I directed my steps towards Pumblechook's, and, as I approached that gentleman's place of business, I saw him standing at his door.
He was waiting for me with great impatience. He had been out early with the chaise-cart, and had called at the forge and heard the news. He had prepared a collation for me in the Barnwell parlour, and he too ordered his shopman to `come out of the gangway' as my sacred person passed.
`My dear friend,' said Mr Pumblechook, taking me by both hands, when he and I and the collation were alone, `I give you joy of your good fortune. Well deserved, well deserved!'
This was coming to the point, and I thought it a sensible way of expressing himself.
`To think,' said Mr Pumblechook, after snorting admiration at me for some moments, `that I should have been the humble instrument of leading up to this, is a proud reward.'
I begged Mr Pumblechook to remember that nothing was to be ever said or hinted, on that point.
`My dear young friend,' said Mr Pumblechook, `if you will allow me to call you so--'
I murmured `Certainly,' and Mr Pumblechook took me by both hands again, and communicated a movement to his waistcoat, which had an emotional appearance, though it was rather low down, `My dear young friend, rely upon my doing my little all in your absence, by keeping the fact before the mind of Joseph. - Joseph!' said Mr Pumblechook, in the way of a compassionate adjuration. `Joseph!! Joseph!!!' Thereupon he shook his head and tapped it, expressing his sense of deficiency in Joseph.
`But my dear young friend,' said Mr Pumblechook, `you must be hungry, you must be exhausted. Be seated. Here is a chicken had round from the Boar, here is a tongue had round from the Boar, here's one or two little things had round from the Boar, that I hope you may not despise. But do I,' said Mr Pumblechook, getting up again the moment after he had sat down, `see afore me, him as I ever sported with in his times of happy infancy? And may I - may I - ?'
This May I, meant might he shake hands? I consented, and he was fervent, and then sat down again.
`Here is wine,' said Mr Pumblechook. `Let us drink, Thanks to Fortune, and may she ever pick out her favourites with equal judgment! And yet I cannot,' said Mr Pumblechook, getting up again, `see afore me One - and likewise drink to One - without again expressing - May I - may I - ?'
I said he might, and he shook hands with me again, and emptied his glass and turned it upside down. I did the same; and if I had turned myself upside down before drinking, the wine could not have gone more direct to my head.
Mr Pumblechook helped me to the liver wing, and to the best slice of tongue (none of those out-of-the-way No Thoroughfares of Pork now), and took, comparatively speaking, no care of himself at all. `Ah! poultry, poultry! You little thought,' said Mr Pumblechook, apostrophizing the fowl in the dish, `when you was a young fledgling, what was in store for you. You little thought you was to be refreshment beneath this humble roof for one as - Call it a weakness, if you will,' said Mr Pumblechook, getting up again, `but may I? may I - ?'
It began to be unnecessary to repeat the form of saying he might, so he did it at once. How he ever did it so often without wounding himself with my knife, I don't know.
`And your sister,' he resumed, after a little steady eating, `which had the honour of bringing you up by hand! It's a sad picter, to reflect that she's no longer equal to fully understanding the honour. May--'
I saw he was about to come at me again, and I stopped him.
`We'll drink her health,' said I.
`Ah!' cried Mr Pumblechook, leaning back in his chair, quite flaccid with admiration, `that's the way you know 'em, sir!' (I don't know who Sir was, but he certainly was not I, and there was no third person present); `that's the way you know the nobleminded, sir! Ever forgiving and ever affable. It might,' said the servile Pumblechook, putting down his untasted glass in a hurry and getting up again, `to a common person, have the appearance of repeating - but may I - ?'
When he had done it, he resumed his seat and drank to my sister. `Let us never be blind,' said Mr Pumblechook, `to her faults of temper, but it is to be hoped she meant well.'
At about this time, I began to observe that he was getting flushed in the face; as to myself, I felt all face, steeped in wine and smarting.
I mentioned to Mr Pumblechook that I wished to have my new clothes sent to his house, and he was ecstatic on my so distinguishing him. I mentioned my reason for desiring to avoid observation in the village, and he lauded it to the skies. There was nobody but himself, he intimated, worthy of my confidence, and - in short, might he? Then he asked me tenderly if I remembered our boyish games at sums, and how we had gone together to have me bound apprentice, and, in effect, how he had ever been my favourite fancy and my chosen friend? If I had taken ten times as many glasses of wine as I had, I should have known that he never had stood in that relation towards me, and should in my heart of hearts have repudiated the idea. Yet for all that, I remember feeling convinced that I had been much mistaken in him, and that he was a sensible practical good-hearted prime fellow.
By degrees he fell to reposing such great confidence in me, as to ask my advice in reference to his own affairs. He mentioned that there was an opportunity for a great amalgamation and monopoly of the corn and seed trade on those premises, if enlarged, such as had never occurred before in that, or any other neighbourhood. What alone was wanting to the realization of a vast fortune, he considered to be More Capital. Those were the two little words, more capital. Now it appeared to him (Pumblechook) that if that capital were got into the business, through a sleeping partner, sir - which sleeping partner would have nothing to do but walk in, by self or deputy, whenever he pleased, and examine the books - and walk in twice a year and take his profits away in his pocket, to the tune of fifty per cent. - it appeared to him that that might be an opening for a young gentleman of spirit combined with property, which would be worthy of his attention. But what did I think? He had great confidence in my opinion, and what did I think? I gave it as my opinion. `Wait a bit!' The united vastness and distinctness of this view so struck him, that he no longer asked if he might shake hands with me, but said he really must - and did.
We drank all the wine, and Mr Pumblechook pledged himself over and over again to keep Joseph up to the mark (I don't know what mark), and to render me efficient and constant service (I don't know what service). He also made known to me for the first time in my life, and certainly after having kept his secret wonderfully well, that he had always said of me, `That boy is no common boy, and mark me, his fortun' will be no common fortun'.' He said with a tearful smile that it was a singular thing to think of now, and I said so too. Finally, I went out into the air, with a dim perception that there was something unwonted in the conduct of the sunshine, and found that I had slumberously got to the turn-pike without having taken any account of the road.
There, I was roused by Mr Pumblechook's hailing me. He was a long way down the sunny street, and was making expressive gestures for me to stop. I stopped, and he came up breathless.
`No, my dear friend,' said he, when he had recovered wind for speech. `Not if I can help it. This occasion shall not entirely pass without that affability on your part. - May I, as an old friend and well-wisher? May I?'
We shook hands for the hundredth time at least, and he ordered a young carter out of my way with the greatest indignation. Then, he blessed me and stood waving his hand to me until I had passed the crook in the road; and then I turned into a field and had a long nap under a hedge before I pursued my way home.
I had scant luggage to take with me to London, for little of the little I possessed was adapted to my new station. But, I began packing that same afternoon, and wildly packed up things that I knew I should want next morning, in a fiction that there was not a moment to be lost.
So, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, passed; and on Friday morning I went to Mr Pumblechook's, to put on my new clothes and pay my visit to Miss Havisham. Mr Pumblechook's own room was given up to me to dress in, and was decorated with clean towels expressly for the event. My clothes were rather a disappointment, of course. Probably every new and eagerly expected garment ever put on since clothes came in, fell a trifle short of the wearer's expectation. But after I had had my new suit on, some half an hour, and had gone through an immensity of posturing with Mr Pumblechook's very limited dressing-glass, in the futile endeavour to see my legs, it seemed to fit me better. It being market morning at a neighbouring town some ten miles off, Mr Pumblechook was not at home. I had not told him exactly when I meant to leave, and was not likely to shake hands with him again before departing. This was all as it should be, and I went out in my new array: fearfully ashamed of having to pass the shopman, and suspicious after all that I was at a personal disadvantage, something like Joe's in his Sunday suit.
I went circuitously to Miss Havisham's by all the back ways, and rang at the bell constrainedly, on account of the stiff long fingers of my gloves. Sarah Pocket came to the gate, and positively reeled back when she saw me so changed; her walnut-shell countenance likewise, turned from brown to green and yellow.
`You?' said she. `You, good gracious! What do you want?'
`I am going to London, Miss Pocket,' said I, `and want to say good-bye to Miss Havisham.'
I was not expected, for she left me locked in the yard, while she went to ask if I were to be admitted. After a very short delay, she returned and took me up, staring at me all the way.
Miss Havisham was taking exercise in the room with the long spread table, leaning on her crutch stick. The room was lighted as of yore, and at the sound of our entrance, she stopped and turned. She was then just abreast of the rotted bride-cake.
`Don't go, Sarah,' she said. `Well, Pip?'
`I start for London, Miss Havisham, to-morrow,' I was exceedingly careful what I said, `and I thought you would kindly not mind my taking leave of you.'
`This is a gay figure, Pip,' said she, making her crutch stick play round me, as if she, the fairy godmother who had changed me, were bestowing the finishing gift.
`I have come into such good fortune since I saw you last, Miss Havisham,' I murmured. `And I am so grateful for it, Miss Havisham!'
`Ay, ay!' said she, looking at the discomfited and envious Sarah, with delight. `I have seen Mr Jaggers. I have heard about it, Pip. So you go to-morrow?'
`Yes, Miss Havisham.'
`And you are adopted by a rich person?'
`Yes, Miss Havisham.'
`Not named?'
`No, Miss Havisham.'
`And Mr Jaggers is made your guardian?'
`Yes, Miss Havisham.'
She quite gloated on these questions and answers, so keen was her enjoyment of Sarah Pocket's jealous dismay. `Well!' she went on; `you have a promising career before you. Be good - deserve it - and abide by Mr Jaggers's instructions.' She looked at me, and looked at Sarah, and Sarah's countenance wrung out of her watchful face a cruel smile. `Good-bye, Pip! - you will always keep the name of Pip, you know.'
`Yes, Miss Havisham.'
`Good-bye, Pip!'
She stretched out her hand, and I went down on my knee and put it to my lips. I had not considered how I should take leave of her; it came naturally to me at the moment, to do this. She looked at Sarah Pocket with triumph in her weird eyes, and so I left my fairy godmother, with both her hands on her crutch stick, standing in the midst of the dimly lighted room beside the rotten bridecake that was hidden in cobwebs.
Sarah Pocket conducted me down, as if I were a ghost who must be seen out. She could not get over my appearance, and was in the last degree confounded. I said `Good-bye, Miss Pocket;' but she merely stared, and did not seem collected enough to know that I had spoken. Clear of the house, I made the best of my way back to Pumblechook's, took off my new clothes, made them into a bundle, and went back home in my older dress, carrying it - to speak the truth - much more at my ease too, though I had the bundle to carry.
And now, those six days which were to have run out so slowly, had run out fast and were gone, and to-morrow looked me in the face more steadily than I could look at it. As the six evenings had dwindled away, to five, to four, to three, to two, I had become more and more appreciative of the society of Joe and Biddy. On this last evening, I dressed my self out in my new clothes, for their delight, and sat in my splendour until bedtime. We had a hot supper on the occasion, graced by the inevitable roast fowl, and we had some flip to finish with. We were all very low, and none the higher for pretending to be in spirits.
I was to leave our village at five in the morning, carrying my little hand-portmanteau, and I had told Joe that I wished to walk away all alone. I am afraid - sore afraid - that this purpose originated in my sense of the contrast there would be between me and Joe, if we went to the coach together. I had pretended with myself that there was nothing of this taint in the arrangement; but when I went up to my little room on this last night, I felt compelled to admit that it might be so, and had an impulse upon me to go down again and entreat Joe to walk with me in the morning. I did not.
All night there were coaches in my broken sleep, going to wrong places instead of to London, and having in the traces, now dogs, now cats, now pigs, now men - never horses. Fantastic failures of journeys occupied me until the day dawned and the birds were singing. Then, I got up and partly dressed, and sat at the window to take a last look out, and in taking it fell asleep.
Biddy was astir so early to get my breakfast, that, although I did not sleep at the window an hour, I smelt the smoke of the kitchen fire when I started up with a terrible idea that it must be late in the afternoon. But long after that, and long after I had heard the clinking of the teacups and was quite ready, I wanted the resolution to go down stairs. After all, I remained up there, repeatedly unlocking and unstrapping my small portmanteau and locking and strapping it up again, until Biddy called to me that I was late.
It was a hurried breakfast with no taste in it. I got up from the meal, saying with a sort of briskness, as if it had only just occurred to me, `Well! I suppose I must be off!' and then I kissed my sister who was laughing and nodding and shaking in her usual chair, and kissed Biddy, and threw my arms around Joe's neck. Then I took up my little portmanteau and walked out. The last I saw of them was, when I presently heard a scuffle behind me, and looking back, saw Joe throwing an old shoe after me and Biddy throwing another old shoe. I stopped then, to wave my hat, and dear old Joe waved his strong right arm above his head, crying huskily `Hooroar!' and Biddy put her apron to her face.
I walked away at a good pace, thinking it was easier to go than I had supposed it would be, and reflecting that it would never have done to have had an old shoe thrown after the coach, in sight of all the High-street. I whistled and made nothing of going. But the village was very peaceful and quiet, and the light mists were solemnly rising, as if to show me the world, and I had been so innocent and little there, and all beyond was so unknown and great, that in a moment with a strong heave and sob I broke into tears. It was by the finger-post at the end of the village, and I laid my hand upon it, and said, `Good-bye O my dear, dear friend!'
Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before - more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle. If I had cried before, I should have had Joe with me then.
So subdued I was by those tears, and by their breaking out again in the course of the quiet walk, that when I was on the coach, and it was clear of the town, I deliberated with an aching heart whether I would not get down when we changed horses and walk back, and have another evening at home, and a better parting. We changed, and I had not made up my mind, and still reflected for my comfort that it would be quite practicable to get down and walk back, when we changed again. And while I was occupied with these deliberations, I would fancy an exact resemblance to Joe in some man coming along the road towards us, and my heart would beat high. - As if he could possibly be there!
We changed again, and yet again, and it was now too late and too far to go back, and I went on. And the mists had all solemnly risen now, and the world lay spread before me.
THIS IS THE END OF THE FIRST STAGE OF PIP'S EXPECTATIONS.
 
次日清晨，我已经是一个不同的人，我的人生远景也已改变。清晨使我焕发一新，和以前截然不同。尽管如此，我的心头仍感沉重，一想到还有六天我才能离开此地，而我又不能不怀疑，在此期间伦敦的情况会忽然大变，等我抵达时，说不定所期望的美景已经大大降格，甚至一切美好的想象均荡然无存了。
每逢我谈到我们越来越接近分别之事，乔和毕蒂便显出对我的爱怜和他们内心的喜悦，但是他们从不主动谈起，只有当我谈到时他们才表示自己的情感。早饭后，乔从那间最好的客厅里的柜子中取出我的师徒合同书，我们一同把它丢进火炉，我感到得到了自由。带着从束缚中解放出来的一种新奇感，我和乔一起到教堂去。我暗自思忖，如果那位牧师知道了这一切，他也许不会再去诵读《圣经》中有关富人难进天国的那一节了。
提前吃了午饭，我独自漫步而出，向沼泽地走去，打算了结与它的相处之情，然后便断绝来往，各奔前程。经过教堂时，我顿时生出一种崇高的同情心，因为我想到那些最终将来到这里的可怜的人们，活着时，一个星期天接一个星期天地来到这个教堂，而生命结束之后，就永远地在这盖着青青低草的土堆里长眠（我在上午晨祷时就有过这种心情）。于是，我便许下一个心愿，有一天我将为村民们做些善事。当时，我还立下了一个草草的计划，请全村居民吃一顿盛餐，有烤牛肉、葡萄干布了、每人一品脱麦酒，以表达恩赐之意。
如果说以前我时常想到曾经和一个逃犯结成同盟，曾经看到他一跛一拐地行走在这坟堆之中，而且不由地感到羞愧，那么在今天这一个星期天，我在这里又想起了往事，想起了那个可怜的、衣衫破烂的＼全身发抖的、戴着镣铐的罪犯，我又有着怎样的感想啊！我也许会说那是很久很久以前的事了，毫无疑问他已经被押往遥远的地方，对我说来他已经死了，也可能他已经真的死去，并且以此来作自我安慰。
今后再不会见到这低低的潮湿之地，再不会见到这里的堤坝和闸门，再不会见到嚼着草儿的牛群——虽然这些愚钝的牛儿今天一转往日态度，对我较为尊敬，甚至还掉转头儿，长久地注视着我这个大笔财产的所有人——哦再见吧，我童年时光令人厌倦的老相识，我即将奔赴伦敦，即将尊贵无比。我再不会在铁匠铺以打铁为生，再不会在这里和你们为伍！于是，我耀武扬威地向那老炮台走去，躺在那里，思索着郝维仙小姐是否会把埃斯苔娜嫁给我，渐渐进入了梦乡。
当我一觉醒来，意外地看到乔正坐在我的身旁，抽着他那根烟斗。他一看到我睁开双眼便露出欣喜的微笑，向我招呼，说道：
“皮普，这是最后一次了，所以我想还是跟着你来了。”
“乔，你来到这里我太高兴了。”
“谢谢你，皮普。”
“亲爱的乔，你尽管宽心，”我们紧紧握过手后，我继续说道，“我永远不会把你忘掉的。”
“我知道你不会忘掉我的，皮普！”乔用欣慰的语调对我说，“我肯定你是不会忘掉我的，嗳，嗳，我的老弟！我祝福你，本来嘛，要放心就需要把心放宽，可我却花了不少时间来宽心，因为这个变化来得太不平常、太突然，你说呢？”
乔表示了他对我放心得下，不知怎的我倒反而感到不太高兴。说实话，我真希望他说些更流露情感的话，比如说：“皮普，你这可有面子了！”或者其他诸如此类的话。所以，对他所说的这第一点我没有答言，只是谈了谈他所说的第二点，说事情确实来得太不平常、太突然了，可是我过去一直想成为上流社会的人，时常翻来覆去地思考，如果我成了上流社会的人，又该做些什么。
“你这么想吗？”乔问道，“真奇怪！”
我对乔说道：“以前我们在这儿读书，可是你的进步太慢了，回想起来真有些遗憾，你说呢？”
“唔，我也不懂是什么原因，”乔答道，“我实在太笨了，只配当个打铁的师傅。我如此的笨真是大令人遗憾了，不过现在不用再遗憾了，因为十二个月之前就遗憾过了，你说对吧？”
我本来的意思是，一旦我继承了遗产能够为乔做点好事了，那么要是他的文化程度能有所提高，以便提高他的社会地位，那该多么令人欣慰。可是他对我所说的一窍不通，所以我想，也许我对毕蒂说会更好。
我们回家后，吃过了茶点，我便拖着毕蒂到小巷边的一个小花园里去。谈了一些无所谓的话后，我为了振奋她的精神使她高兴起来，便说我永远不会忘记她，然后就说到我要请她帮个忙。
“事情是这样的，毕蒂，”我说道，“我希望你抓住一切机会帮助乔，让他至少也有点儿进步才是。”
“怎么样帮助他进步？”毕蒂定定地瞅着我，说道。
“噢，是这样的，乔是一个可爱的好人，的确如此，我看在这个世界上再也找不到第二个了，不过在有些方面他是太落伍了。毕蒂，就拿学识或者待人接物来讲吧，他就是不太行。”
虽然我说话的时候一直在盯着毕蒂看，虽然我说完之后她也把眼睛睁得老大，可是她就是没有看我。
“哦，他的待人接物！他待人接物不行吗？”毕蒂答道，同时摘下了一片黑醋栗树的叶子。
“我亲爱的毕蒂，他的待人接物在这里当然很好——”
“唔，他的待人接物在这个地方挺好吗？”毕蒂打断了我的话，仔仔细细地看着手中的黑醋栗树叶。
“你听我把话讲完——我希望在我继承了财产后让他的地位提高，他的地位提高了之后，他的待人接物就会受到非议。”
“你不认为他知道这点吗？”毕蒂又问道。
毕蒂提出的问题触怒了我，无论如何我也没有想到她居然提出这个问题，这使我暴躁起来，我说：‘华蒂，你说的究竟是什么意思？”
毕蒂把黑醋栗树叶在双手中揉得碎碎的，自此以后只要我一闻到黑醋栗树丛的气味，就会忆起那一次深巷小园中的晚上。毕蒂说道：“你难道没有想到过他也有自尊心吗？”
“自尊心？”我的语气之间带有不屑一顾的意思。
“哦！世界上有许多种自尊心，”毕蒂说着，望着我摇了摇头，“自尊心不只有一种——”
“那好！你不要停下来，说下去啊？”我说道。
“自尊心不只有一种，”毕蒂接着说下去，“他为打铁这一行感到骄傲，他有能力把这行干好，事实上他干得很好，受到别人的尊敬。他也许并不愿意离开这一行，这就是他的自尊心。老实告诉你，我认为他就是这么想的，虽然我这么说听起来冒失了一些，因为你一定比我对他更了解。”
“唉，毕蒂，”我说道，“看到你这样我心中很难过，我真没有想到你会这样说。毕蒂，你在妒忌我，所以才有此怨言。我走了好运你便心怀不满，而且情不自禁地流露了出来。”
毕蒂答道：“你要是真有心这样想，你就说吧。只要你是真有心这样想的，你就一遍一遍地反复说。”
“毕蒂，你的意思是，如果你真有心这么做，”我用颇有道德修养和自命不凡的语气说道，“没有必要把这推卸在我身上。看到你这样，我真伤心，我看这是——这是人性的弱点。本来我是想在我走了之后，请你利用哪怕是很微不足道的机会，尽可能地帮助我可爱的乔进步。既然如此，我就不再请求你帮助了。不过，看到你这样我是太伤心了，毕蒂，”我又一次说道，“这是——这是人性的弱点。”
“无论你是责备我还是赞美我，”可怜的毕蒂答道，“你都可以放心，凡是你要我做的事，只要在我能力所及的范围之内，我会尽力而为的。在你离开时，无论你对我有什么看法，在我的回忆中你是不会变的。不过，你要做一个上等人，也不能置公平于不顾。”说完，毕蒂便扭过头去。
我又激动地说了一遍这是一种人性的弱点（诚然，在如此情绪中我运用这种说法不妥，不过这一说法本身并没有错，后来我找到了理由），然后便离开了毕蒂，顺着小径漫步而去。毕蒂回了家，我才走出了花园的门，垂头丧气地踱着步，直到吃晚饭时才回家。从情感上说，我很悲伤，而且感到奇怪，我有了远大前程的第二天竟然也和第一天一样，感到那么孤寂，那么不满。
次日清早，我又乐观起来，从情感上原谅了毕蒂，过去的事再也不提。我穿上最好的衣服，一早便向镇上走去，指望到达镇上时铺子也刚开门营业。我来到特拉布先生的裁缝铺时，他正在店铺后面的客厅里用早餐。在他看来，这会儿出来接待我不值得，便招呼我到里面去见他。
“嗨！”特拉布先生以老熟人的口吻对我说道，“你好，我能为你做些什么？”
特拉布先生把他热气腾腾的面包切成了三层松软如羽毛的面包片，正在往夹层里涂黄油，涂得满满的。他是一个财星高照的老鳏夫，从他打开的窗户望出去是一座果树茂盛的小花园，火炉旁边的墙壁中装了一只气派非凡的铁保险柜，我相信他的财富一定用一只只袋子装着，藏在这保险柜中。
“特拉布先生，”我说道，“提起这件事我真不太想讲，因为直说会让人以为我夸口，不过我又不能不告诉你，我已经得到了一笔可观的财产。”
一听我的话，特拉布先生立刻判若两人。他忘记了在柔软的面包层中涂黄油，连忙站起来，把手指在台布上擦了擦，大声喊道：“我的老天啊！”
“我就要到伦敦去见我的监护人。”我说着，漫不经心地从口袋中掏出几枚金币，看着‘之们。“我打算订做一套时装穿了去，我希望，”我深怕他没有拿到钱会借口不做，便又补了一句，“付给你现金。”
“我亲爱的先生，”特拉布先生说着，对我恭敬地弯下腰来，并且毫不客气地张开臂膀碰了一下我的两只胳膊肘。“不用提钱，我不是不顾情谊的人。我可以向你道贺吗？可否请赏光到店里去再细谈？”
特拉布先生有个小伙计，是我们这乡下胆子最大的家伙。刚才我进来的时候，他正在店铺里扫地，一见我便把灰都扫到我身上，以此来取悦自己。我和特拉布先生出来的时候，他还在扫地。他用扫帚东打西打，打遍四处，敲遍所有碍他扫地的东西。我想，他是为了表明自己是一个打铁的能工巧匠，即使古往今来的一切打铁能手也不在他的话下。
“轻点，”特拉布先生紧绷着脸望着他的小伙计说道，“小心我敲掉你的头。”然后又对我说：“先生，请坐吧。”他取下一匹布料，抖开，使它像潮水一样地铺开在工作台上，并用双手托起它来向我展示了一下光泽。“看，这是人人喜欢的货色，先生，我向你推荐这种料子做衣服，因为这是真正的上等衣料。当然，你可以比较一下别的料子。去把四号布料拿来！”（他这是在对他的小伙计说话，还丢给他一个狠狠的眼色，因为怕这个小恶棍拿来料子时会有意在我身上撞一下，或者做出别的什么放肆举动，所以预先警告他要小心点。）
特拉布先生一刻不停地瞪着这小伙计，直到他把四号料子拿了来，放在工作台上，并且站在了远远的安全地方为止。接着，他又命令小伙计去取五号料子和八号料子。特拉布先生对他说道：“你这个小流氓痞子，我看你再在这儿搞鬼花样，我要叫你后悔一辈子。”
特拉布先生接下来便弯腰细察四号料子，并且非常谦逊恭敬地向我推荐四号衣料，说这是一种轻薄的料子，适合于夏天穿着，在贵族绅士中特别流行，还说要是他有一个超群出众的同乡穿过这料子做的衣服，他会感到很得意的（如果他能把我攀作他的同乡的话）。“你还不去取五号和八号，你这个小无赖。”特拉布先生又对这个小伙计说道，“难道要让我把你踢出店门，然后自己去取吗？”
根据特拉布先生对料子的评价，我选择了其中的一套，然后便重返客厅让他给我量尺寸。虽然特拉布先生本来就晓得我的尺寸，而且过去给我做衣服时也很满意那些数字，现在他却带着歉意地说：“根据现在的情况看来，先生，那个尺寸不能用了。”于是，特拉布先生在客厅里一面为我量，一面还要计算，仿佛我变成了一块地产，而他成了最佳测量人员。他简直是不辞辛劳，令我感到，无论他做出怎么好的衣服，他所付出的辛苦的劳动也得不到补偿。最后，他终于量好算好，又约定了星期四晚上把衣服送到彭波契克先生家。“我知道，先生，伦敦的绅士先生们是不会光顾我们这小地方的铺子的，不过，要是您能常光顾这里，我就会感到蓬荜生辉。那就再见了，先生，非常感谢。——门！”
他的最后一个字是对小伙计讲的，而小伙计却没有弄清楚要他开门的意思。当他的主人搓着双手把我送出门之后，我看到这个小伙计已软瘫在一边，吓得要死。今天算是我第一次真正体验到了金钱的伟大力量，即使是特拉布的小伙计也大大失去了威风，自甘败北。
办完了这件值得纪念的大事之后，我又去了帽店、鞋店、袜店，感到自己就像儿歌中胡巴德妈妈的狗，为了一套行装不得不找许多行业请教。我还到驿站去定下了星期六早晨七时发出的马车座次。每到一处都告诉人家我有了一笔财产当然没有必要，但是只要我一说到这件事，店里的老板便立刻收口眼光，不再从窗户中望着大街出神了，而一味地集中心思招呼我。我订购完所需要的一切东西之后，便直接去彭波契克先生的店铺。一到达这位先生的商号，我便一眼看到他正站在门口。
他正等着我去，看上去已很不耐烦了。他一大早就乘了马车到过我家的铁匠铺，听说了我的新闻，早就在他那间演过《乔治•巴恩威尔》的客厅中准备了茶点。在我这个神圣的人物走进客厅时，甚至于他也居然对店堂中的伙计命令道：“走开，不要挡住路！”
“我亲爱的朋友，”彭波契克先生紧紧地抓住我的双手，这时客厅中只剩下他和我以及茶点，“你有了远大前途，我向你祝贺。这是本该所得，本该所得。”
他的话正说到点子上，我想他可谓是个聪明人，聪明地表达了自己的看法。
彭波契克先生哼着鼻子说了几句对我羡慕的话后，说道：“现在想起来，我当初任劳任怨地尽犬马之劳，总算把你领向一条大路，通向了远大前程，我真感到不胜荣幸。”
我请求彭波契克先生务必要记住，不要再提及此事，连暗示也不行。
“我亲爱的年轻朋友，”彭波契克先生说道，“如果你允许我这样称呼你——”
我喃喃地说：“当然可以。”接着，彭波契克先生又抓起我的双手，紧紧地握着、摇着，使他的背心也起伏起来，看上去他真像是动了真情，虽然这起伏的部位低了些。“我亲爱的年轻朋友，请你放心，你走之后我自会竭尽微力让约瑟夫记住这件事——噢，约瑟夫！”彭波契克先生用一种带有怜悯的起誓口吻说道，“约瑟夫！约瑟夫！”他一面摇头，一面用手敲着脑袋，以此来表示他完全了解约瑟夫的缺陷。
“不过，我亲爱的年轻朋友，”彭波契克先生说道，“你一定饿坏了，也一定累坏了。坐下，坐下。这只童子鸡是从蓝野猪饭店买来的，这块舌头是从蓝野猪饭店买来的，这一两种小吃也是从蓝野猪饭店买来的，我希望你不致嫌弃。不过，”彭波契克先生说到这里，又从刚坐上去的椅子上站了起来，“我看到这位坐在我面前的贵人，记得在他幸福的童年时我挺喜欢和他逗着玩，我能否——我能否——？”
他说的这个“我能否”是指能否和我握手。我自然同意。于是，他便热情地握起手来，握后重归于座。
“这里有酒，”彭波契克先生说道，“我们来饮酒，我们来向命运女神表示谢意，但愿她每一次都像这一次一样公允地挑选她的宠儿。”说到这里，彭波契克先生又一次站起来，说道：“我看到这位宠儿在我面前，我举杯向他祝酒，这时我就不得不想到要再一次表明我的心愿，我能否——我能否——？”
我说他能，于是他再一次和我握手，然后端起酒杯一饮而尽，又把酒杯底朝天地翻起。我也效仿他干杯并将杯底朝天。要是我在干杯之前先来个头手倒立，酒就不会一饮进去就直冲头顶，使我昏头转向了。
彭波契克先生把翅夹肝给我吃，把最佳的舌头片给我吃，再不像从前那样总把那些别人不要吃的地方给我吃。比起以往来，今天他对自己也就不那么照顾了。这时，彭波契克先生像作诗一样对着盘子中的鸡大声朗诵起来：“噢鸡啊鸡啊！在你还是刚生羽毛的雏儿时，你怎么会想到自己为谁而准备，你怎么会想到今日在我的寒酸之舍成为——如果你乐意，就把它称为我的毛病吧。”说到这里，彭波契克先生又站了起来，“可是我能否——我能否——？”
于是也没有必要等我重复那种例行的同意之辞，他立即就和我握起手来。我真奇怪，怎么他几次激动地和我握手，我手中的餐刀竟然没有割破他的手。
他稳稳当当地吃了几口，又说道：“再说你的姐姐，她真荣幸把你一手领大！不过想想现在她也太可怜了，不能充分享受这份荣幸。我能否——”
我看到他又想过来弄老花样，便打断了他。
“我们为她的健康而干杯吧。”我说道。
“喔！”彭波契克先生叫道，向椅子背上靠了一下，这一阵赞叹已把他弄得疲惫不堪，“这才算懂得情意，先生！”（我实在不清楚他说的“先生”指谁，但肯定不是指我，不过也没有第三个人在场啊。）“这才算懂得情谊，才算是个有高尚情操的君子，先生！你永远是那么谅解人，永远那么谦虚和蔼。”这位天生卑躬屈膝的彭波契克赶忙放下还没有沾上嘴唇的酒杯，又站了起来说道：“对于我这个普通的人，如果能重复我的老毛病——我能否——？”
他和我热情地握过手后，重新回到座位上，然后为我姐姐干杯。“至于你姐姐火气大这个缺点，”彭波契克先生对我说道，“我们也都是看到的，不过她的用意还是好的。”
这时，我开始注意到他的面孔正慢慢地红起来，而我自己呢，也感到整张面孔如泡在酒里一样，刺痛不已。
我告诉彭波契克先生，我的新衣服做好后准备先送到他这里。他一听我这么说，真是高兴得神魂颠倒，说我瞧得起他。我又告诉他，把衣服先放在这里是为了避免村子里面的人议论，于是他又赞美我，把我简直捧到了天上。他说，除了他之外，其他的人都不值得我信任，总而言之，又是他的老毛病，他能否？然后他又温和地问我，是不是还回忆得起童年的事，那一起算数字的游戏，那大家一起到法院去订师徒合同的事，其实他只不过想问我记不记得他这位最诚挚情谊的朋友以及和他一起交往的美好情景。即使我刚才喝了比实际上多出十倍的酒，我也清楚地知道他绝不是我诚挚情谊的朋友，在我内心的深处对他的这种想法深恶痛绝。不过，我虽然那么想，可我的情感还是有了变化。我想，过去我对他有过多的成见，其实他倒是一位通情达理、讲究实际、有一片好心肠的第一流正人君子。
他现在越来越倚重我、相信我了，甚至关于他自己的事务他也请我作些指教。他说目前有一个好机会，如果把粮食买卖和种子生意合并起来做，再扩大一些门面，他就可以施行生意上的垄断，他这种做法无论在附近的哪个地方都从来没有用过。他考虑只要扩大资本，一定可以实现发财的理想，无疑，这里的“扩大资本”四个字最为重要。现在，对他彭波契克来说，只要这增加的资本一到位，不管哪一个人投资他都可以让其做一个不出面的合伙人，所谓不出面的合伙人，是指什么事都不要干，只要其本人或代理人在高兴的时候来一下，翻一下账本，便可以一年两次，把高达百分之五十的利息一古脑儿塞进口袋里。他认为，对于一位有志向、有资产的年轻绅士来说，这是一个开拓事业的好机会，值得考虑。但是，我的心意如何？他十分看重我的意见，想听听我的想法。我告诉他我的意见是“等一等再说！”我的这句话不仅意义博大精深，而且说得也明确具体，他听后大有感触，所以连问也没问便来和我握手，而且说他一定要和我握手，于是他真的这样做了。
我们把全部的酒都喝光了，彭波契克先生一次又一次地向我作出保证，一定使约瑟夫达到标准（我不明白是什么标准），而且他还要有效地随时为我服务（我不明白是什么服务）。他还向我表白了他的心思，这是我有生以来第一次听到他这么说，因为他将这秘密保存得极好。那就是只要一提到我，他总是说“这孩子可是个不寻常的孩子，依我看，他的运气也会是不寻常的好运。”他眼含泪花，微笑着说，现在想起来这真是一件非凡的事，我也说这事真是非凡。最后，我告别离开，走到外面，迷迷糊糊地感到，好像这日光也和往常不太一样。我胡乱举步，不辨方向，昏昏欲睡之中竟已来到了关卡。
恍惚中，我被彭波契克先生的叫唤声惊得清醒了一些。他在阳光满照的街上远远地正向我做着各种手势，示意我停下来，随后上气不接下气地跑了过来。
“不能这样，我的亲爱的朋友，”他刚刚缓过气来便说道，“我可不能忍受。这一大好时光不可完全虚度，你也得表现表现你的和蔼可亲啊。作为你的老朋友，作为你的祝福者，我能否——我能否——？
我们于是热烈握手，这至少是第一百次了。然后，他又喊着一位年轻的车夫不要挡我的道，那样子真像凶神恶煞似的。最后，他又向我祝福，站在那里向我摇手告别，一直到我在路边转弯为止。我转进田地，在一道树篱下睡了好一阵，这才站起来拔脚回家。
我要带到伦敦去的行李是很少的。本来我的东西就少，而适合于这新身份的可用之物就更少了。可是我总在担心着，觉得时间要抓紧，一分一秒也不能耽搁，所以当天下午便开始打行李，既忙乱又鲁莽，把明天上午还用得着的东西一古脑儿打在了一起。
星期二，星期三，星期四，就这样匆匆逝去。星期五上午，我前往彭波契克先生的家，准备换上新衣服去访问郝维仙小姐。彭波契克先生把他自己的房间让给我换衣服，还在房中为了我的大事特地放了几条干净毛巾。当然，这套新衣服也给我带来了一些失望情绪。也许自从有了衣服以来，每一件备受渴求盼望的新衣服穿上身后，穿衣的人多少会感到和自己的希求相比，总有些美中不足。我换上了新衣服之后，便站在彭波契克先生那面很有限的穿衣镜前照来照去，并摆出各式各样的姿态，为了看一看自己的那双腿，结果却是白费力气。如此看了足有半个小时，才感觉衣服合身了一些。这天刚好碰上附近的一个镇子赶早集，离这儿有十英里路，所以彭波契克先生出去了。因为我没有告诉他我准备离开的确定时间，所以在离开前也就不太可能和他再一次握手了。我觉得这样更好，于是便在新装包裹下出发了。我担心的是在店门口会遇到那个店里的伙计，会感到难为情，疑心自己会像乔在礼拜天穿起礼服一样，处处感到碍手碍脚地不自在。
我从后街小巷穿来绕去地到了郝维仙小姐的家。由于我手套的指头太长，而且很硬，按起门铃来就颇不方便。莎娜•鄱凯特来开门，一眼看到我完全变了样子，吃惊得直向后退。她那胡桃壳般的面容从棕色变得青黄相间，显得不知所措。
“是你？”她说道，“是你？老天爷啊！你要干什么？”
“鄱凯特小姐，我就要到伦敦去了，”我说道，“这次来是向郝维仙小姐道别的。”
因为我来得突然，她锁上门后就把我留在院子里，她要上去禀报一声，看是否同意见我。没有一会儿，她就回来了。在领我上楼的一路上，她都睁大眼睛瞅着我。
郝维仙小姐正在锻炼，拄着丁字形拐杖在放着那张长桌的房间中走着。房间像以往一样用昏黄的烛光照明。听到鄱凯特进去的声音，她便停下步子回过头来，正好就在那块发霉的结婚蛋糕的旁边。
“莎娜，你别走。”她说道，“怎么了。皮普？”
“郝维仙小姐，明天我要到伦敦去了，”我说话时把每个词都说得很清楚，“这次来是向您辞行的，我想您不会介意吧。”
“皮普，你今天穿得漂漂亮亮，像个人了。”说着，她拿了字拐杖在我身边挥了几圈，仿佛她是我的仙国教母，施展法术使我变了样，现在正在施行最后一道法术。
“上次我见到您之后，就遇到了好运气，郝维仙小姐，”我低声地说着，“为此我是怀着十分感激之情的，郝维仙小姐。”
“嗳，嗳！”她非常愉悦地看着那个有些狼狈而又心存妒忌的莎娜，说道，“皮普，我已见到了贾格斯先生，他都告诉我了。你明天就启程吗？”
“是的，郝维仙小姐。”
“你过继给一户有钱的人家了吗？”
“是的，郝维仙小姐。”
“没有透露姓名吗？”
“没有，郝维仙小姐。”
“贾格斯先生被指定做你的监护人吗？”
“是的，郝维仙小姐。”
她对这些回答显然非常满意，看到莎娜妒忌的狼狈样子更显得开心。“好得很！”她继续说道，“摆在你面前的是一条锦绣之路，你要好好干一一会有前途的——要听贾格斯先生的教导。”她看看我，又看看莎娜，莎娜的表情使她那专注的脸上掠过一丝狞笑。“皮普，再见！你知道，你要永远用皮普这个名字。”
“我知道，郝维仙小姐。”
“皮普，再见。”
她把手伸向我，于是我屈下一膝，把她的手放在嘴唇上吻了一下。虽然本来我并没有考虑过怎样向她告别，但我灵机一动想到了这个吻手告别礼，于是就这样做了。她用怪异骇人的眼睛得意非凡地望着莎娜•鄱凯特。我就在这种情况下告别了我的仙国教母，而她这时正用双手拄着丁字拐杖，站在烛光昏暗的房屋中间，旁边放着那块发霉的结婚蛋糕，上面结满了蜘蛛网。
莎娜•鄱凯特领我下楼，就好像我是个鬼怪一样把我送出了门。她对于我这副外表真有点不可接受，甚至于给搞得糊里糊涂。在我对她说“再见，鄱凯特小姐”时，她只是睁着眼睛瞪着我，似乎还没有从迷糊中清醒过来，也没有意识到我对她说过再见了。一离开这座宅邸，我便飞快地奔回彭波契克的家，脱掉新衣服，扎在一个小包里，换上旧衣服，赶忙回家。说句老实话，虽然这时手上多拿了一个小包，走起路来却显得自由多了。
本来以为六天的日子相当难打发，而现在却是很快地全都过去了。明天正在堂而皇之地瞅着我，而我却不敢用正眼去看明天。六个夜晚也慢慢地减少到五个晚上，四个晚上，三个晚上，两个晚上，我也愈来愈感到和乔及毕蒂相处的日子是多么难得，多么值得珍惜。最后一个夜晚，为了让他们高兴，我特地换上新衣，真是光彩夺目，和他们一直坐守到入睡时分。其间，我们吃了一顿热气腾腾的晚餐，烤鸡为晚餐增色不少，还有甜啤酒助兴。看上去我们都兴高采烈，其实全是虚假的伪装，大家的心情全都非常沉重。
明天早晨五时，我就要拎着那只小巧的手提旅行皮箱离开小村庄。我已经叮嘱过乔，我只想一个人独自前往驿站，不要他相送。我心里惶惶不安——十分惶惶不安 ——我之所以这么做是出于这样一种考虑，要是乔和我一同去驿站，在我们两人之间必然有着明显的差异。当时，我还在心中自己骗自己，说我没有这种卑鄙的用心。可是当我在最后一餐晚饭后，一步踏进我的楼顶小屋时，忽然天良发现，一阵冲动逼使我想回去恳求乔，明日清晨送我上驿站。然而最终，我还是没去。
整夜在断断续续的睡眠中我似乎总是乘坐马车，它忽而带我到这里，忽而带我到那里，就是不驶往伦敦。那些驾车的动物也换来换去，忽而是狗，忽而是猫，忽而是猪，忽而是人，就是没有马。奇异怪诞的梦境连续不断、变换无常，直到天色微明，百鸟开始晨唱。于是我起身穿衣，刚穿好一半，便坐在窗口，对窗外的风景作最后的眺望，不知不觉在眺望中又进入了梦乡。
毕蒂很早便起身为我准备早餐。虽然我在窗口小睡，其实不到一小时我就闻到厨房中飘来的煤烟气，吃惊不小，以为现在已是黄昏。听到厨房里又传来杯盘的叮当声，我把一切都准备好，可是过了好久，还是下不了决心下楼。我依然留在楼上，把皮箱的锁打开，把皮箱的带子松开，然后再锁上皮箱，捆好皮箱的带子，就这样翻来覆去弄了好几次，直到毕蒂来叫我，说时间不早了，我才下楼。
这一顿早餐吃得匆匆忙忙，究竟是什么滋味也不知道。吃毕从桌边站起，我感到一阵轻松，好像突然又想起了一件事情，便说道：“唔！我该向大家告别！”于是，我便向我姐姐吻别。她正坐在通常坐的那张图椅上，向我笑着，头不断地点着、摇着。然后，我向毕蒂吻别，接着又用两条臂膀搂着乔的脖子。最后，我提上旅行皮箱出门而去。我走出没有几步，忽然听到背后有一阵杂沓的声音。我回头望去，看到乔向我掷来一只旧鞋，接着毕蒂又向我掷来另一只旧鞋。我停步向他们挥帽表示谢意，亲爱的老朋友乔挥动着高举过头顶的那只强壮右臂，用嘶哑的声音喊道：“乌拉！”而毕蒂则偷偷地把围裙遮在了面孔上。这便是我离家时最后看到他们的情景。
我跨着大步向前走着，一面走一面想，这一次出门比我
Chapter 20
THE journey from our town to the metropolis, was a journey of about five hours. It was a little past mid-day when the fourhorse stage-coach by which I was a passenger, got into the ravel of traffic frayed out about the Cross Keys, Wood-street, Cheapside, London. 
We Britons had at that time particularly settled that it was treasonable to doubt our having and our being the best of everything: otherwise, while I was scared by the immensity of London, I think I might have had some faint doubts whether it was not rather ugly, crooked, narrow, and dirty.
Mr Jaggers had duly sent me his address; it was, Little Britain, and he had written after it on his card, `just out of Smithfield, and close by the coach-office.' Nevertheless, a hackney-coachman, who seemed to have as many capes to his greasy great-coat as he was years old, packed me up in his coach and hemmed me in with a folding and jingling barrier of steps, as if he were going to take me fifty miles. His getting on his box, which I remember to have been decorated with an old weather-stained pea-green hammercloth moth-eaten into rags, was quite a work of time. It was a wonderful equipage, with six great coronets outside, and ragged things behind for I don't know how many footmen to hold on by, and a harrow below them, to prevent amateur footmen from yielding to the temptation.
I had scarcely had time to enjoy the coach and to think how like a straw-yard it was, and yet how like a rag-shop, and to wonder why the horses' nose-bags were kept inside, when I observed the coachman beginning to get down, as if we were going to stop presently. And stop we presently did, in a gloomy street, at certain offices with an open door, whereon was painted MR. JAGGERS.
`How much?' I asked the coachman.
The coachman answered, `A shilling - unless you wish to make it more.'
I naturally said I had no wish to make it more.
`Then it must be a shilling,' observed the coachman. `I don't want to get into trouble. I know him!' He darkly closed an eye at Mr Jaggers's name, and shook his head.
When he had got his shilling, and had in course of time completed the ascent to his box, and had got away (which appeared to relieve his mind), I went into the front office with my little portmanteau in my hand and asked, Was Mr Jaggers at home?
`He is not,' returned the clerk. `He is in Court at present. Am I addressing Mr Pip?'
I signified that he was addressing Mr Pip.
`Mr Jaggers left word would you wait in his room. He couldn't say how long he might be, having a case on. But it stands to reason, his time being valuable, that he won't be longer than he can help.'
With those words, the clerk opened a door, and ushered me into an inner chamber at the back. Here, we found a gentleman with one eye, in a velveteen suit and knee-breeches, who wiped his nose with his sleeve on being interrupted in the perusal of the newspaper.
`Go and wait outside, Mike,' said the clerk.
I began to say that I hoped I was not interrupting - when the clerk shoved this gentleman out with as little ceremony as I ever saw used, and tossing his fur cap out after him, left me alone.
Mr Jaggers's room was lighted by a skylight only, and was a most dismal place; the skylight, eccentrically patched like a broken head, and the distorted adjoining houses looking as if they had twisted themselves to peep down at me through it. There were not so many papers about, as I should have expected to see; and there were some odd objects about, that I should not have expected to see - such as an old rusty pistol, a sword in a scabbard, several strange-looking boxes and packages, and two dreadful casts on a shelf, of faces peculiarly swollen, and twitchy about the nose. Mr Jaggers's own high-backed chair was of deadly black horse-hair, with rows of brass nails round it, like a coffin; and I fancied I could see how he leaned back in it, and bit his forefinger at the clients. The room was but small, and the clients seemed to have had a habit of backing up against the wall: the wall, especially opposite to Mr Jaggers's chair, being greasy with shoulders. I recalled, too, that the one-eyed gentleman had shuffled forth against the wall when I was the innocent cause of his being turned out.
I sat down in the cliental chair placed over against Mr Jaggers's chair, and became fascinated by the dismal atmosphere of the place. I called to mind that the clerk had the same air of knowing something to everybody else's disadvantage, as his master had. I wondered how many other clerks there were up-stairs, and whether they all claimed to have the same detrimental mastery of their fellow-creatures. I wondered what was the history of all the odd litter about the room, and how it came there. I wondered whether the two swollen faces were of Mr Jaggers's family, and, if he were so unfortunate as to have had a pair of such ill-looking relations, why he stuck them on that dusty perch for the blacks and flies to settle on, instead of giving them a place at home. Of course I had no experience of a London summer day, and my spirits may have been oppressed by the hot exhausted air, and by the dust and grit that lay thick on everything. But I sat wondering and waiting in Mr Jaggers's close room, until I really could not bear the two casts on the shelf above Mr Jaggers's chair, and got up and went out.
When I told the clerk that I would take a turn in the air while I waited, he advised me to go round the corner and I should come into Smithfield. So, I came into Smithfield; and the shameful place, being all asmear with filth and fat and blood and foam, seemed to stick to me. So, I rubbed it off with all possible speed by turning into a street where I saw the great black dome of Saint Paul's bulging at me from behind a grim stone building which a bystander said was Newgate Prison. Following the wall of the jail, I found the roadway covered with straw to deaden the noise of passing vehicles; and from this, and from the quantity of people standing about, smelling strongly of spirits and beer, I inferred that the trials were on.
While I looked about me here, an exceedingly dirty and partially drunk minister of justice asked me if I would like to step in and hear a trial or so: informing me that he could give me a front place for half-a-crown, whence I should command a full view of the Lord Chief Justice in his wig and robes - mentioning that awful personage like waxwork, and presently offering him at the reduced price of eighteenpence. As I declined the proposal on the plea of an appointment, he was so good as to take me into a yard and show me where the gallows was kept, and also where people were publicly whipped, and then he showed me the Debtors' Door, out of which culprits came to be hanged: heightening the interest of that dreadful portal by giving me to understand that `four on 'em' would come out at that door the day after to-morrow at eight in the morning, to be killed in a row. This was horrible, and gave me a sickening idea of London: the more so as the Lord Chief Justice's proprietor wore (from his hat down to his boots and up again to his pocket-handkerchief inclusive) mildewed clothes, which had evidently not belonged to him originally, and which, I took it into my head, he had bought cheap of the executioner. Under these circumstances I thought myself well rid of him for a shilling.
I dropped into the office to ask if Mr Jaggers had come in yet, and I found he had not, and I strolled out again. This time, I made the tour of Little Britain, and turned into Bartholomew Close; and now I became aware that other people were waiting about for Mr Jaggers, as well as I. There were two men of secret appearance lounging in Bartholomew Close, and thoughtfully fitting their feet into the cracks of the pavement as they talked together, one of whom said to the other when they first passed me, that `Jaggers would do it if it was to be done.' There was a knot of three men and two women standing at a corner, and one of the women was crying on her dirty shawl, and the other comforted her by saying, as she pulled her own shawl over her shoulders, `Jaggers is for him, 'Melia, and what more could you have?' There was a red-eyed little Jew who came into the Close while I was loitering there, in company with a second little Jew whom he sent upon an errand; and while the messenger was gone, I remarked this Jew, who was of a highly excitable temperament, performing a jig of anxiety under a lamp-post and accompanying himself, in a kind of frenzy, with the words, `Oh Jaggerth, Jaggerth, Jaggerth! all otherth ith Cag-Maggerth, give me Jaggerth!' These testimonies to the popularity of my guardian made a deep impression on me, and I admired and wondered more than ever.
At length, as I was looking out at the iron gate of Bartholomew Close into Little Britain, I saw Mr Jaggers coming across the road towards me. All the others who were waiting, saw him at the same time, and there was quite a rush at him. Mr Jaggers, putting a hand on my shoulder and walking me on at his side without saying anything to me, addressed himself to his followers.
First, he took the two secret men.
`Now, I have nothing to say to you,' said Mr Jaggers, throwing his finger at them. `I want to know no more than I know. As to the result, it's a toss-up. I told you from the first it was toss-up. Have you paid Wemmick?'
`We made the money up this morning, sir,' said one of the men, submissively, while the other perused Mr Jaggers's face.
`I don't ask you when you made it up, or where, or whether you made it up at all. Has Wemmick got it?'
`Yes, sir,' said both the men together.
`Very well; then you may go. Now, I won't have it!' said Mr Jaggers, waving his hand at them to put them behind him. `If you say a word to me, I'll throw up the case.'
`We thought, Mr Jaggers--' one of the men began, pulling off his hat.
`That's what I told you not to do,' said Mr Jaggers. `You thought! I think for you; that's enough for you. If I want you, I know where to find you; I don't want you to find me. Now I won't have it. I won't hear a word.'
The two men looked at one another as Mr Jaggers waved them behind again, and humbly fell back and were heard no more.
`And now you!' said Mr Jaggers, suddenly stopping, and turning on the two women with the shawls, from whom the three men had meekly separated. - `Oh! Amelia, is it?'
`Yes, Mr Jaggers.'
`And do you remember,' retorted Mr Jaggers, `that but for me you wouldn't be here and couldn't be here?'
`Oh yes, sir!' exclaimed both women together. `Lord bless you, sir, well we knows that!'
`Then why,' said Mr Jaggers, `do you come here?'
`My Bill, sir!' the crying woman pleaded.
`Now, I tell you what!' said Mr Jaggers. `Once for all. If you don't know that your Bill's in good hands, I know it. And if you come here, bothering about your Bill, I'll make an example of both your Bill and you, and let him slip through my fingers. Have you paid Wemmick?'
`Oh yes, sir! Every farden.'
`Very well. Then you have done all you have got to do. Say another word - one single word - and Wemmick shall give you your money back.'
This terrible threat caused the two women to fall off immediately. No one remained now but the excitable Jew, who had already raised the skirts of Mr Jaggers's coat to his lips several times.
`I don't know this man!' said Mr Jaggers, in the same devastating strain: `What does this fellow want?'
`Ma thear Mithter Jaggerth. Hown brother to Habraham Latharuth?'
`Who's he?' said Mr Jaggers. `Let go of my coat.'
The suitor, kissing the hem of the garment again before relinquishing it, replied, `Habraham Latharuth, on thuthpithion of plate.'
`You're too late,' said Mr Jaggers. `I am over the way.'
`Holy father, Mithter Jaggerth!' cried my excitable acquaintance, turning white, `don't thay you're again Habraham Latharuth!'
`I am,' said Mr Jaggers, `and there's an end of it. Get out of the way.'
`Mithter Jaggerth! Half a moment! My hown cuthen'th gone to Mithter Wemmick at thith prethent minute, to hoffer him hany termth. Mithter Jaggerth! Half a quarter of a moment! If you'd have the condethenthun to be bought off from the t'other thide - at hany thuperior prithe! - money no object! - Mithter Jaggerth - Mithter - !'
My guardian threw his supplicant off with supreme indifference, and left him dancing on the pavement as if it were red-hot. Without further interruption, we reached the front office, where we found the clerk and the man in velveteen with the fur cap.
`Here's Mike,' said the clerk, getting down from his stool, and approaching Mr Jaggers confidentially.
`Oh!' said Mr Jaggers, turning to the man, who was pulling a lock of hair in the middle of his forehead, like the Bull in Cock Robin pulling at the bell-rope; `your man comes on this afternoon. Well?'
`Well, Mas'r Jaggers,' returned Mike, in the voice of a sufferer from a constitutional cold; `arter a deal o' trouble, I've found one, sir, as might do.'
`What is he prepared to swear?'
`Well, Mas'r Jaggers,' said Mike, wiping his nose on his fur cap this time; `in a general way, anythink.'
Mr Jaggers suddenly became most irate. `Now, I warned you before,' said he, throwing his forefinger at the terrified client, `that if you ever presumed to talk in that way here, I'd make an example of you. You infernal scoundrel, how dare you tell ME that?'
The client looked scared, but bewildered too, as if he were unconscious what he had done.
`Spooney!' said the clerk, in a low voice, giving him a stir with his elbow. `Soft Head! Need you say it face to face?'
`Now, I ask you, you blundering booby,' said my guardian, very sternly, `once more and for the last time, what the man you have brought here is prepared to swear?'
Mike looked hard at my guardian, as if he were trying to learn a lesson from his face, and slowly replied, `Ayther to character, or to having been in his company and never left him all the night in question.'
`Now, be careful. In what station of life is this man?'
Mike looked at his cap, and looked at the floor, and looked at the ceiling, and looked at the clerk, and even looked at me, before beginning to reply in a nervous manner, `We've dressed him up like--' when my guardian blustered out:
`What? You WILL, will you?'
(`Spooney!' added the clerk again, with another stir.)
After some helpless casting about, Mike brightened and began again:
`He is dressed like a 'spectable pieman. A sort of a pastry-cook.'
`Is he here?' asked my guardian.
`I left him,' said Mike, `a settin on some doorsteps round the corner.'
`Take him past that window, and let me see him.'
The window indicated, was the office window. We all three went to it, behind the wire blind, and presently saw the client go by in an accidental manner, with a murderous-looking tall individual, in a short suit of white linen and a paper cap. This guileless confectioner was not by any means sober, and had a black eye in the green stage of recovery, which was painted over.
`Tell him to take his witness away directly,' said my guardian to the clerk, in extreme disgust, `and ask him what he means by bringing such a fellow as that.'
My guardian then took me into his own room, and while he lunched, standing, from a sandwich-box and a pocket flask of sherry (he seemed to bully his very sandwich as he ate it), informed me what arrangements he had made for me. I was to go to `Barnard's Inn,' to young Mr Pocket's rooms, where a bed had been sent in for my accommodation; I was to remain with young Mr Pocket until Monday; on Monday I was to go with him to his father's house on a visit, that I might try how I liked it. Also, I was told what my allowance was to be - it was a very liberal one - and had handed to me from one of my guardian's drawers, the cards of certain tradesmen with whom I was to deal for all kinds of clothes, and such other things as I could in reason want. `You will find your credit good, Mr Pip,' said my guardian, whose flask of sherry smelt like a whole cask-full, as he hastily refreshed himself, `but I shall by this means be able to check your bills, and to pull you up if I find you outrunning the constable. Of course you'll go wrong somehow, but that's no fault of mine.'
After I had pondered a little over this encouraging sentiment, I asked Mr Jaggers if I could send for a coach? He said it was not worth while, I was so near my destination; Wemmick should walk round with me, if I pleased.
I then found that Wemmick was the clerk in the next room. Another clerk was rung down from up-stairs to take his place while he was out, and I accompanied him into the street, after shaking hands with my guardian. We found a new set of people lingering outside, but Wemmick made a way among them by saying coolly yet decisively, `I tell you it's no use; he won't have a word to say to one of you;' and we soon got clear of them, and went on side by side.
 
从我们镇上到伦敦乘马车需要行五个多小时。刚刚过晌午一会儿，我乘坐的四马驿车便进入市区，和四面八方驶来的各种车辆汇流成拥挤混乱的交通，然后停在伦敦齐普塞德伍德街那里的交叉钥匙形旅馆招牌下。
那时，我们不列颠人有一种根深蒂固的偏见，如果有人怀疑我们的东西不是人间第一，怀疑我们英国人不是人间第一，这个人就是判国的罪人。若非如此，在我被伦敦的庞大惊傻的同时，我也会对伦敦有些小小的怀疑：难道伦敦不也是丑陋的、道路弯曲的、又狭又窄的、肮脏不堪的城市吗？
贾格斯先生已经及时地派人送来印有他地址的名片，地址是在小不列颠街，在名片的后面还写着“出史密斯广场，离驿站不远”。我雇了一辆出租马车，车夫穿着一件油腻腻的外套，外面披着许多层斗篷，其数量之多和他的一大把年纪差不多了。他把我扶上马车后，就用发出叮当声响的折叠式上下马车用梯把我挡起来，好像马车要驶向五十英里以外的什么地方似的。他费了好一阵功夫才爬上自己的赶车座位。我记得他那车座上装饰的篷布原是豌豆绿色的，历经了风雨吹打，而且被虫咬得破破烂烂。车子的装备也非常古怪：外面有六顶大华盖，后面都是些破烂东西挂着，说不清有多少跟班可以随车攀在上面；下面还有一个耙子，看来是防备那些所谓业余跟班顿生好奇而想试攀一下的。
我似乎还没来得及把马车欣赏完，还没有弄懂这马车怎么会像一个堆草的院子，又像一个废品店，还有为什么马吃草的袋子也放在马车里面等等奇怪的事情，就看到马车夫准备下车了，好像马上车子也要停了。一会儿，马车真的停在了一条幽暗街道上的一家律师事务所门前，事务所的门开着，上面写着“贾格斯先生”几个字。
“要多少钱？”我向马车夫问道。
马车夫答道：“一个先令，除非你想多付一些。”
我自然说我不希望多付。
“那么你得付一先令，”马车夫说道，“我不想惹上麻烦。我知道他这个人！”他狠狠地对着门上贾格斯先生的大名闭上一只眼睛，并且摇摇头。
他接过了一先令的车费，花了些时间才完成了他爬上车座的动作，然后把马车赶走（好像也放了心）。这时我手提着小旅行皮箱走进了这家事务所，问贾格斯先生是否在？
“他不在，”一位办事员答道，“他在法院出庭。我可以问问，你是皮普先生吗？”
我向他表示我正是皮普先生。
“贾格斯先生有话留下来，要你在他房里等他。他说他正在办一件案子，说不准什么时间回来。不过他的时间是很宝贵的，所以肯定只要他一有时间便会抓紧回来的，不至于耽搁。”
这位办事员说毕便打开一扇门，领着我走进后面的一间内室。我看见室内坐着一位先生，只有一只眼，穿了一件棉织绒的衣眼和一条短裤。他正在那里读报纸，给我们进去打断了，于是用袖口擦起鼻子来。
“迈克，你到外面去等。”办事员说道。
我正要说我希望不致打扰这位先生——而办事员却毫无礼貌地把这位先生撵了出去，还拿起他留在房里的皮帽扔给他。这种事我真是头一次遇到，于是，室内就留下了我一个人。
贾格斯先生房里的光线只是从一扇天窗中照射下来的，可以说这是一处非常黑暗的地方。这扇天窗修补得十分奇怪，活像一个破碎的头颅，望出去那些变了形的隔壁房屋仿佛正故意扭在一起俯下身从窗口偷窥我。房中的档案文件不多，和我原来的推测相反，却另有一些十分奇怪的东西，而这些都是我原来没有想到会看到的，如一支生锈的老式手枪、一柄套在剑鞘里的剑、几个看上去奇形怪状的箱子和包裹，一个架子上放着两个面目狰狞的头像，两边面孔都浮肿着，鼻子抽搐着。贾格斯先生本人的那张高靠背椅是用非常黑的马毛呢制成的，四周钉了几排铜钉，和棺材没有两样。于是在我的幻想下好像见到他正倚靠在椅子上，对着客户咬着食指。房间是那么小，客户们似乎都有一个习惯，那就是退到背靠墙的地方，因为房里的墙壁，特别是贾格斯先生座椅正对面的那一块，都被客户们擦得油光光的了。刚才，那位独眼龙先生也是那样用身子靠在墙上，拖着脚步慢吞吞地走出去的。当然我并没有撵他出去，但却是因为我进来他才被撵出去的。
我坐在一张客户坐的椅子上，它被放在贾格斯先生座椅的正对面，房中的那股死气沉沉、令人窒息的气氛弄得我惊恐万分。我想起他的这位办事员和贾格斯先生有着同样的神气，似乎掌握了每一个人的把柄。我真想知道在楼上究竟还有几个办事员，是不是他们都有掌握自己同胞的手腕，欲害何人岂患无词。我真想知道房间四周放着的那些乱七八糟、奇形怪状的东西究竟有什么来历。我真想知道那两张肿胖面孔的头像是不是贾格斯先生家庭中的成员；难道他就这般不幸，竟然有这么一对丑陋不堪的家庭成员；为什么他把两个头像塞在这么一个灰尘满布、黑斑点点、苍蝇寄生的鬼地方，而不把它们放在家中呢？当然，我没有经历过伦敦夏季的考验，然而我的整个心灵都在这里受到压抑，也许是因为这里的空气太令人困顿，每一件物品上都蒙了一层灰沙。但我就坐在贾格斯先生的这间又窄又小的房间中等待着，惊诧着，直到再也无法忍受贾格斯先生座椅上方架子上的那两个头像，便站起身走了出去。
我对办事员说趁等的机会不如到外面去转转，他说可以，建议我不妨在路边拐一个弯到史密斯广场走走。于是，我便来到了史密斯广场。这哪里是什么广场，简直是个丢人的地方，到处是肮脏的东西，是油脂，是血污，是泡沫，所有这些杀牲口的遗留物似乎都想粘在我身上。我只有加快步伐，赶忙拐进一条街，才算避开了麻烦。在这条街上，我看到圣保罗大教堂的黑色大圆顶从一幢阴森可怖的石头建筑物后面凸出来，正对着我，一位旁观的人说那就是新门监狱。我顺着监狱的围墙走下去，看到路面上铺着稻草，大概是为了防止过往车辆发出喧嚣之声吧。看到这些情况，又见许多人站在那里，身上散发出强烈的烈酒和啤酒气味，我便断定这里面正在开庭。
我正在这里东张西望的时候，一个肮脏邋遢、酒气熏天的法警走过来问我，是不是想进去听一两场官司。他告诉我只要给他半个克朗他就可以把我领到前排座位，全面欣赏头戴假发、身着法袍的高等法院院长形象；他这么一说我倒以为这位神圣不可侵犯的大人物不过是一座蜡像而已。他看我不决不断便立刻降价到十八个便士，于是我赶忙向他说明我身负约会，只有谢谢他的美意。尽管如此，他还是殷勤如故，把我领进院子，指给我看设置绞刑架的地方、公开鞭答犯人的地方，然后又把死囚监狱的门指给我看，凡是上绞架的犯人都要经过这里。他为了提高我对这个阴森可怖之门的兴趣，又告诉我后天早晨八时就会有四个死囚犯从那个门走出来，排成一队上绞刑台。这真令人毛骨悚然，使我对伦敦感到厌恶。尤其使我感到厌恶的是这位利用观赏高等法院院长的幌子来赚钱的法警，从他头上戴的帽子到脚上登的靴子，包括口袋中的手帕，也就是说上上下下的全部衣物都散发着霉味儿。这套衣服分明原来不是他的，一定是从刽子手那里用便宜的价钱买来的。我想我还是打发他走为好，于是递给了他一个先令。
我回到律师事务所，询问贾格斯先生是否回来，结果还是没有回来，于是我又走出去。这一次我走到小不列颠街，然后又转到巴索罗米围场。这时我才意识到，有不少人都像我一样在等待着贾格斯先生。我看到有两个外表十分诡秘的人在巴索罗米围场里荡来荡去，一面谈话，一面满腹思虑地把脚踏在石板缝中走着。他们经过我身边时，其中一人对另一个说：“只要贾格斯来办，就一定能成。”另外还有三个男人和两个女人站在拐角处，其中一个女人用肮脏的围巾捂住脸在哭，另一个女人在安慰着她，同时还在把自己的围巾在肩头弄弄好，说：“阿梅丽亚，贾格斯会替他说话的，你还要怎么样呢？”我正在这里走着时，一位小个头的红眼睛犹太人也走进了围场。他把旁边同行的另外一个小个头犹太人打发去干一件什么事；等那人一走，只见这个红眼睛的犹太人焦躁起来，急得在路灯杆下面打圈圈，跳来跳去，嘴里还念着：“噢，贾格斯，贾格斯，贾格斯！克格斯，买格斯，什么格斯都不要，我只要贾格斯！”我这位监护人真是人心所向，众人欢迎。这给了我极深的印象，于是对他格外敬佩、更加叹服。
接着，我从巴索罗米围场的铁门向小不列颠街张望，突然瞅见贾格斯先生正穿过马路朝着我走来。所有在那儿等候的人也在这时候看到了他，便一齐向他冲过去。贾格斯先生走过来，一手搭在我的肩膀上，和我并肩向前走。他没有和我说什么，只是对跟着他的人们打着招呼。
首先他招呼那两个外表诡秘的人。
“现在我没有什么话可以对你们说，”贾格斯先生说道，把手指指向他们，“我想知道的事已经知道了。结果呢？机会均等，都有可能。从一开始我就告诉过你们这是件成败各半的事。你们向温米克付过钱了吗？”
“先生，我们今天早晨把钱凑好了。”其中一个顺从地说道，而另一个人则在细察着贾格斯先生的脸色。
“我不是问你们什么时候凑齐钱，或在什么地方凑齐钱，或者究竟有没有凑齐钱，我只问你们温米克拿到你们所付的钱没有？”
“先生，拿到了。”
“很好，那么你们可以走了。我不要再听你们讲了！”贾格斯先生对他们挥着手，叫他们让到身后，说，“你们要对我再说一个字，我便不办这个案子了。”
“我们想，贾格斯先生——”其中一个人脱下帽子说道。
“我刚才已经对你们说不要多讲了。”贾格斯先生说道，“你们想！我会为你们想的，你们还想什么！我要找你们，我晓得到哪儿去找；你们不要来找我。我不要你们再对我多说。一个字我也不要听。”
这两个人见贾格斯先生又对他们挥手要他们不要跟过来，相互看看，然后低三下四地告退了，再没有听到他们的话声。
“那么你们！”贾格斯先生忽然停下脚步，转向两个围着围巾的女人，那三个男人顺从地离开了她们。贾格斯说道：“哦，你是阿梅丽亚吗？”
“我就是，贾格斯先生。”
“你还记得吗？”贾格斯先生质问道，“要不是我的话，你怕不会在这里了，也不可能在这里了！”
“唔，是的，先生！”两个女人一起大声说道，“上帝保佑您，先生，我们不会忘记，会永记在心里的。”
“那么，”贾格斯先生说道，“你们为什么还要到这里来？”
“先生，是为我的比尔呀。”啼哭的女人恳求道。
“那么我现在就告诉你吧！”贾格斯先生说道，“我就爽爽快快地告诉你，如果你还不明白比尔已落入好人的手里，我可知道。如果你还是到这里来唠叨你的比尔，使人厌烦，我就干脆拿你的比尔和你开刀，从此再不过问此事。你付钱给温米克了吗？”
“哦，付了，先生！一个子儿也不少。”
“很好。你们已做了所必须做的事，那就别再废话。多说一个字，温米克就会把你们付的钱退还。”
这一令人恐惧的威吓使两个女人赶忙倒退而走。现在，除掉那个异常激动的犹太人之外，别人都走了。这个犹太人业已抓起贾格斯先生外衣的衣角放在嘴唇上吻了好几次。
“我不认识这个人，这人是谁？”贾格斯先生用最令人难以容忍的语气说道，“这个家伙想干什么？”
“我亲爱的贾格斯先生，您怎么会不认识亚伯拉罕•拉扎鲁斯的兄弟呢？”
“他是什么人？”贾格斯先生说道，“不要拉着我的衣服。’”
这一位乞求者在放下贾格斯先生的衣服之前又吻了一次外衣的衣角，答道：“亚伯拉罕•拉扎鲁斯就是金银失窃案的嫌疑犯。”
“你来得太晚了，”贾格斯先生说道，“我已经为你们的对方服务了。”
“天上的圣父啊，贾格斯先生！”这位激动的犹太人脸色变得刷白，“您真的反对起亚伯拉罕•拉扎鲁斯来了！”
“是这样，”贾格斯先生说道，“谈话就此结束，走开吧。”
“贾格斯先生！请等一会儿！我的表弟已经去和温米克先生接洽，就刚才去的。他愿意出不论多大的价钱。贾格斯先生！再稍等一会儿！要是您不给我们的对手办事，不管要付多少钱都可以！钱嘛，没有问题！贾格斯先生，先生——！”
我的监护人毫不留情地把这个乞求者撵走，把他一个人留在路上乱蹦乱跳，好像正站在烧红的烙铁上一样。此后，我们便一路无阻地回到律师事务所，遇到了那位办事员及穿棉绒衣、戴皮帽子的人。
“这是迈克。”办事员一见我们走进便从凳子上站起来，极机密地走到贾格斯先生面前说道。
“唔！”贾格斯先生说着便转向此人。这人正扯着自己脑门正中的一把头发，好像荒诞故事中的那头公牛扯着打钟的绳子一样。“你的人是今天下午来，是吗？”
“对，贾格斯老爷，”迈克答道，声音好像是一个感冒患者发出的，“真够麻烦的，先生，总算找到了一个，也许行。”
“他准备怎样作证呢？”
“唔，贾格斯老爷！”迈克这回用他的毛皮帽子擦了擦鼻子，说道，“一般的话，说什么都行。”
贾格斯先生突然人冒三丈。“我早就警告过你，”他说道，并且把食指对着这个吓坏了的当事人，“你要是胆敢在我面前说这些糊涂话，我就要拿你开刀。你这个该死的混蛋，竟敢在我面前讲这些话。”
这位当事人吓得面如土色，非常惊慌，可是又莫名其妙，不知道自己究竟犯下了什么了不起的大错。
“你这个傻瓜！”办事员用胳膊肘儿碰了一下对方，压低了声音说道，“你这笨头笨脑的！这种事也必须当着面说吗？”
“现在我来问你，你这个糊涂蠢蛋，”我的监护人一副铁面无私的样子说道，“再问一次，也是最后一次，你带来的那个人准备怎么样作证？”
迈克紧紧地盯着我的监护人，仿佛想从他的脸上得到点教训，然后慢慢地答道：“要么说他根本不是这号人物，要么说他整夜陪着他，没有离开过，就这样。”
“仔细想想再答。这个人的身份？”
迈克神情紧张地看看他的帽子，看看地板，又看看天花板，然后又看看办事员，甚至连我也看了看，才回答道：“我们已经把他装扮成一个——”我的监护人没有听完，立刻勃然大怒地喝道：
“你说什么？你又这样了是吗？”
（“你这个傻瓜！”办事员又用胳膊肘碰了他一下说道。）
迈克先是苦思冥想了一番，然后豁然开朗，说道：
“他的衣着很像一个卖馅饼的人，也就是某种糕饼师傅吧。”
“他来了吗？”我的监护人问道。
迈克答道：“我把他留在转弯处一家人的石级上了。”
“你带着他从那边窗口走过，让我看一看他。”
窗口就是指律师事务所的窗户。我们三个人走到窗户边，站在纱窗的后面，不一会儿，便看到那位当事人悠哉游哉地走了过去，一个面露杀机的高个子跟在后面，穿了一身白麻布衣服，略嫌短了一些，头戴着一顶纸帽。这一位似乎老老实实的糕饼师傅看来头脑不太清楚，被打肿了的眼睛周围是一圈青色，不过已经过了化装。
“去告诉他立刻把这个证人带走，”我的监护人以极其厌恶的口吻对办事员说道，“问问他把这号人物带来究竟是什么意思。”
我的监护人把我领进他自己的房间，站在那里从三明治盒中取出三明治来吃，并喝着一小瓶雪莉酒。他这副吃相根本不是在吃三明治，而是在威吓三明治。他告诉我，他已为我安排就绪，叫我先去巴纳德旅馆，住在小鄱凯特先生的一个套间里，他为我准备的床已经送过去了。我要在小鄱凯特先生的套房中住到下星期一，星期一那天，我要和小鄱凯特先生一起去拜访他父亲，看看我是否喜欢那位老师。他还告诉了我该得的生活费数目（数目不小），又从他的一张抽屉里取出一些商人的名片交给我，说我可以持这些名片去取各种不同的衣服，以及其他诸如此类该用的东西。他说：“皮普先生，你会有不错的信誉。”我的监护人匆忙地填充着他的胃，那瓶雪莉酒散发出的香气和一满桶酒散发出的一样浓烈。“不过，我会用不同的方法查核你的账单，一旦发现你负了债，我就要对你加以约束。当然，你还是会犯错的，但那可不是我的过失。”
我思考了一会儿他那带有鼓励性的言辞，便问贾格斯先生，是否可以雇一辆马车去旅馆。他说从这里走到那儿挺近的，用不着雇车，如果我愿意，温米克会和我一起走过去。
我这才知道温米克就是那个办事员，在隔壁房中办公。温米克为了和我到旅馆去，便把楼上的另一位办事员叫下来顶替他。我和我的监护人握过手后，便由温米克陪同上了街。我们看到又有一伙人在外面徘徊，温米克从他们中间走过去，冷漠而又斩钉截铁地说道：“我告诉你们，你们全是白等。他不会对你们任何一个人讲一个字。”我们即刻摆脱了他们，并排向前走去。
Chapter 21
CASTING my eyes on Mr Wemmick as we went along, to see what he was like in the light of day, I found him to be a dry man, rather short in stature, with a square wooden face, whose expression seemed to have been imperfectly chipped out with a dull-edged chisel. There were some marks in it that might have been dimples, if the material had been softer and the instrument finer, but which, as it was, were only dints. The chisel had made three or four of these attempts at embellishment over his nose, but had given them up without an effort to smooth them off. I judged him to be a bachelor from the frayed condition of his linen, and he appeared to have sustained a good many bereavements; for, he wore at least four mourning rings, besides a brooch representing a lady and a weeping willow at a tomb with an urn on it. I noticed, too, that several rings and seals hung at his watch chain, as if he were quite laden with remembrances of departed friends. He had glittering eyes - small, keen, and black - and thin wide mottled lips. He had had them, to the best of my belief, from forty to fifty years. 
`So you were never in London before?' said Mr Wemmick to me.
`No,' said I.
`I was new here once,' said Mr Wemmick. `Rum to think of now!'
`You are well acquainted with it now?'
`Why, yes,' said Mr Wemmick. `I know the moves of it.'
`Is it a very wicked place?' I asked, more for the sake of saying something than for information.
`You may get cheated, robbed, and murdered, in London. But there are plenty of people anywhere, who'll do that for you.'
`If there is bad blood between you and them,' said I, to soften it off a little.
`Oh! I don't know about bad blood,' returned Mr Wemmick; `there's not much bad blood about. They'll do it, if there's anything to be got by it.'
`That makes it worse.'
`You think so?' returned Mr Wemmick. `Much about the same, I should say.'
He wore his hat on the back of his head, and looked straight before him: walking in a self-contained way as if there were nothing in the streets to claim his attention. His mouth was such a postoffice of a mouth that he had a mechanical appearance of smiling. We had got to the top of Holborn Hill before I knew that it was merely a mechanical appearance, and that he was not smiling at all.
`Do you know where Mr Matthew Pocket lives?' I asked Mr Wemmick.
`Yes,' said he, nodding in the direction. `At Hammersmith, west of London.'
`Is that far?'
`Well! Say five miles.'
`Do you know him?'
`Why, you're a regular cross-examiner!' said Mr Wemmick, looking at me with an approving air. `Yes, I know him. I know him!'
There was an air of toleration or depreciation about his utterance of these words, that rather depressed me; and I was still looking sideways at his block of a face in search of any encouraging note to the text, when he said here we were at Barnard's Inn. My depression was not alleviated by the announcement, for, I had supposed that establishment to be an hotel kept by Mr Barnard, to which the Blue Boar in our town was a mere public-house. Whereas I now found Barnard to be a disembodied spirit, or a fiction, and his inn the dingiest collection of shabby buildings ever squeezed together in a rank corner as a club for Tom-cats.
We entered this haven through a wicket-gate, and were disgorged by an introductory passage into a melancholy little square that looked to me like a flat burying-ground. I thought it had the most dismal trees in it, and the most dismal sparrows, and the most dismal cats, and the most dismal houses (in number half a dozen or so), that I had ever seen. I thought the windows of the sets of chambers into which those houses were divided, were in every stage of dilapidated blind and curtain, crippled flower-pot, cracked glass, dusty decay, and miserable makeshift; while To Let To Let To Let, glared at me from empty rooms, as if no new wretches ever came there, and the vengeance of the soul of Barnard were being slowly appeased by the gradual suicide of the present occupants and their unholy interment under the gravel. A frouzy mourning of soot and smoke attired this forlorn creation of Barnard, and it had strewn ashes on its head, and was undergoing penance and humiliation as a mere dust-hole. Thus far my sense of sight; while dry rot and wet rot and all the silent rots that rot in neglected roof and cellar - rot of rat and mouse and bug and coaching-stables near at hand besides - addressed themselves faintly to my sense of smell, and moaned, `Try Barnard's Mixture.'
So imperfect was this realization of the first of my great expectations, that I looked in dismay at Mr Wemmick. `Ah!' said he, mistaking me; `the retirement reminds you of the country. So it does me.'
He led me into a corner and conducted me up a flight of stairs - which appeared to me to be slowly collapsing into sawdust, so that one of those days the upper lodgers would look out at their doors and find themselves without the means of coming down - to a set of chambers on the top floor. MR. POCKET, JUN., was painted on the door, and there was a label on the letter-box, `Return shortly.'
`He hardly thought you'd come so soon,' Mr Wemmick explained. `You don't want me any more?'
`No, thank you,' said I.
`As I keep the cash,' Mr Wemmick observed, `we shall most likely meet pretty often. Good day.'
`Good day.'
I put out my hand, and Mr Wemmick at first looked at it as if he thought I wanted something. Then he looked at me, and said, correcting himself,
`To be sure! Yes. You're in the habit of shaking hands?'
I was rather confused, thinking it must be out of the London fashion, but said yes.
`I have got so out of it!' said Mr Wemmick - `except at last. Very glad, I'm sure, to make your acquaintance. Good day!'
When we had shaken hands and he was gone, I opened the staircase window and had nearly beheaded myself, for, the lines had rotted away, and it came down like the guillotine. Happily it was so quick that I had not put my head out. After this escape, I was content to take a foggy view of the Inn through the window's encrusting dirt, and to stand dolefully looking out, saying to myself that London was decidedly overrated.
Mr Pocket, Junior's, idea of Shortly was not mine, for I had nearly maddened myself with looking out for half an hour, and had written my name with my finger several times in the dirt of every pane in the window, before I heard footsteps on the stairs. Gradually there arose before me the hat, head, neckcloth, waistcoat, trousers, boots, of a member of society of about my own standing. He had a paper-bag under each arm and a pottle of strawberries in one hand, and was out of breath.
`Mr Pip?' said he.
`Mr Pocket?' said I.
`Dear me!' he exclaimed. `I am extremely sorry; but I knew there was a coach from your part of the country at midday, and I thought you would come by that one. The fact is, I have been out on your account - not that that is any excuse - for I thought, coming from the country, you might like a little fruit after dinner, and I went to Convent Garden Market to get it good.'
For a reason that I had, I felt as if my eyes would start out of my head. I acknowledged his attention incoherently, and began to think this was a dream.
`Dear me!' said Mr Pocket, Junior. `This door sticks so!'
As he was fast making jam of his fruit by wrestling with the door while the paper-bags were under his arms, I begged him to allow me to hold them. He relinquished them with an agreeable smile, and combated with the door as if it were a wild beast. It yielded so suddenly at last, that he staggered back upon me, and I staggered back upon the opposite door, and we both laughed. But still I felt as if my eyes must start out of my head, and as if this must be a dream.
`Pray come in,' said Mr Pocket, Junior. `Allow me to lead the way. I am rather bare here, but I hope you'll be able to make out tolerably well till Monday. My father thought you would get on more agreeably through to-morrow with me than with him, and might like to take a walk about London. I am sure I shall be very happy to show London to you. As to our table, you won't find that bad, I hope, for it will be supplied from our coffee-house here, and (it is only right I should add) at your expense, such being Mr Jaggers's directions. AS to our lodging, it's not by any means splendid, because I have my own bread to earn, and my father hasn't anything to give me, and I shouldn't be willing to take it, if he had. This is our sitting-room - just such chairs and tables and carpet and so forth, you see, as they could spare from home. You mustn't give me credit for the tablecloth and spoons and castors, because they come for you from the coffee-house. This is my little bedroom; rather musty, but Barnard's is musty. This is your bed-room; the furniture's hired for the occasion, but I trust it will answer the purpose; if you should want anything, I'll go and fetch it. The chambers are retired, and we shall be alone together, but we shan't fight, I dare say. But, dear me, I beg your pardon, you're holding the fruit all this time. Pray let me take these bags from you. I am quite ashamed.'
As I stood opposite to Mr Pocket, Junior, delivering him the bags, One, Two, I saw the starting appearance come into his own eyes that I knew to be in mine, and he said, falling back:
`Lord bless me, you're the prowling boy!'
`And you,' said I, `are the pale young gentleman!'
 
我们一边走着，我一边打量着温米克先生，看看在阳光下他究竟是什么样子。我发现他是一个冷淡无情的人，身材矮小，面孔像一块方正正的木头，面部的表情好像是用一把刀口很钝的凿子刻出来的。他脸上有两块地方，如果用的材料柔软一些，用的工具精良一些，就可以刻成两个酒窝，而现在留下的只是两个凹痕。这把凿子又在他的鼻梁上刻了三四刀，本来是为了美化鼻子，结果还没有等磨平弄滑就罢手了。再从他所穿衣服的破烂情况来判断，他是一个单身汉，看上去忍受着不少亲人丧亡的痛苦，手上戴的纪念亡人戒指就有四只。此外，他还有一枚胸针，上面画着一位女士，一枝垂柳插在坟上，旁边还有一只骨灰瓶。我还注意到在他的表链上吊着几只印章戒指。他负载着对那么多已故亲友的纪念是多么沉重啊！他有一对明亮闪光的眼睛，小眼珠，黑黑的，十分锐利。他的上下嘴唇又薄又宽，还有些杂斑。我根据各种情况猜测，他的年龄在四十至五十岁之间。
“那么你以前没有来过伦敦？”温米克先生对我说道。
“没有。”我说道。
“我第一次来伦敦时感到一切都新奇，”温米克先生说道，“现在想起来可真有意思！”
“你现在对伦敦已很熟悉了？”
“那当然，还用说吗，”温米克先生说道，“什么动静也瞒不了我。”
“这是个邪恶的地方吗？”我只是和他随便聊聊，并不是想打听情况。
“在伦敦的人都可能受骗、被抢、被凶杀。不过，在这个世界上，哪里不都是有许多人在干着这类事情啊。”
“这其间一定有仇恨了。”为了缓和一些气氛，我便这样说道。
“噢，我倒不知道其间有什么仇恨，”温米克先生答道，“我看不会有那么多的仇恨。他们骗人杀人不过是为了想得到些油水罢了。”
“这就更糟糕了。”
“你以为很糟吗？”温米克先生说道，“我不这样看，天下老鸦一般黑，到处如此。”
他的帽子爱戴在脑后，两眼笔直地向前看，走起路来神态矜持，好像街上没有任何东西值得他一看。他的嘴巴就像邮电局里的信箱口，总带着一丝无意的微笑。我们登上了霍本山顶之后，我才注意到他这副笑脸全然是无意识的，其实根本没有在笑。
“你知道马休•鄱凯特先生住在哪里吗？”我问温米克先生。
“我晓得，”他对着西边点点头说道，“他住在伦敦西边的汉莫史密斯。”
“那里远吗？”
“有点远，大约五英里。”
“你认识他吗？”
“啊呀，你倒是一个挺爱问的审问官呢！”温米克先生用一种赞许的神态望着我说，“是的，我认识他，我认识他。”
我听他说话的语气中包含了一些容忍，甚至有些儿满不在乎的轻视调儿，这便使我闷闷不乐起来。我斜着眼细细打量他那张像一段木头一样的面孔，想在上面搜索一下是否有进一步谈这件事的可能，可还没有看出什么他就说巴纳德旅馆到了。他的话并没有使我从闷闷不乐中转变过来。因为我本以为巴纳德这家旅馆是由巴纳德先生开的，我们乡下的那间蓝野猪饭店在它面前不过是爿小酒店，可是现在我才知道根本就没有巴纳德这个人，这只不过是个假造的名字。这家旅馆只有几间又破又烂又黑又脏的房子，一起挤在一个发出恶臭的角落上，真像为雄猫一样的男单身汉设置的俱乐部。
我们经过一个边门进入了这个避难所，再走过一条通道便进了一处既悲凉又很狭小的四方院子，十分像一个萧条凄凉的坟场。这里面的树是最阴郁沉闷的树，这里面的麻雀是最阴郁沉闷的麻雀，这里面的猫是最阴郁沉闷的猫；这里面的六七幢房子也是最阴郁沉闷的房屋，都是我过去见所未见的。那些房屋的窗户上，百叶窗烂得快要倒坍，窗帘破得一拉就碎，花盆都变成了瘸腿在那儿东倒西歪，窗玻璃又都碎裂不堪，到处是尘上封盖，给人的印象是破落得不忍目睹。这里贴着招租，那里贴着招租，到处都贴满了招租，一张张招租的招贴在空空的房间门口直瞪着我，好像从来就没有可怜的房客到这里来住过。巴纳德的幽灵也稍稍收敛了它的复仇火焰，因为它看到现有的房客正在慢性自杀，死者的不虔诚也遭到了埋进沙土之下的厄运。肮脏的黑沙般的烟灰装饰着巴纳德这份被遗忘和被舍弃的产业。这房子也在自己的顶上撒满了灰尘，愿意悔过，忍受屈辱，生活于这垃圾筒中。这便是我的亲眼所见。四处都是霉味，有干霉味、湿霉味，有在屋顶上、地窖中悄悄腐烂的霉味——那些大老鼠、小耗子。臭虫，还有附近马房所散发出来的臭味，都徐徐地进入我的味觉器官，同时还仿佛有个声音在悲鸣着：“请尝一下巴纳德的混合美味。”
这是我远大前程的第一步，这最初的印象就如此地不理想，我不禁心情沮丧地望着温米克先生。“唔！”他错解了我的意思说道，“这一僻静之地使你触景生情了吧，又想起了你的故乡。我也和你一样。”
他把我领向一个角落，又领我上了一段楼梯。在我看来，这段楼梯正慢慢地变成木屑，到那时，楼上的房客只要在房门口向外面看一眼，也就再没有下楼的愿望了。我们来到顶层的一套房间门口，门上用印刷体写着“小鄱凯特先生”几个字，信箱上面还贴了一张纸条子，写着“外出即归”。
“他没有想到你来得如此快，”温米克先生解释道，“你大概不再需要我了吧？”
“谢谢，不用了。”我说道。
“由于我管着现金，”温米克说道，“我们会时常见面的。再见。”
“再见。”
我伸出手，温米克先生看着我的手，以为我想索取什么东西，然后又看看我，才纠正了自己的误解，说道：
“当然！是的。你有和人握手的习惯，是吗？”
我被他弄得有点狼狈，心想这一定和伦敦的时尚不符，不过我还是说他猜对了。
“我对这一套不习惯！”温米克先生说道，“除非是最后一别才握手。当然，我是非常高兴和你相识的，再见！’，
我们握手过后，他便走了。我打开楼梯间的窗户，这可险些把我的头给铡了，因为窗绳业已腐烂，窗子就像断头台上的铡刀一样飞快地落了下来。幸亏它落得很快，我的头还没有来得及伸出去。这一大难不死，我也就只有通过灰尘满布的窗户糊里糊涂地看一看旅馆的全貌了。我苦恼兮兮地站在那里向外看着，心想伦敦被夸得太过分了。
小鄱凯特先生所说的外出即归和我所想的可不一样。我发了疯似的从窗口向外观望，望了足有半个小时，然后又用手指在每一块窗玻璃的尘灰上划了几遍自己的名字，这才听到楼梯上有脚步声。然后，我便看到了帽子、头、领巾、背心，然后是裤腿、靴子，从打扮看其身份，怕也和我差不多。他每个胳肢窝下面各夹了一个纸包，有一只手上还拎了一篮草莓，气喘喘地走了上来。
“皮普先生吗？”他说道。
“鄱凯特先生吗？”我说道。
“真对不起啊！”他大声嚷道，“的的确确对不起；我只知道中午有一班马车从你们乡下开来，我想你会搭那趟马车来。事情是这样的，我出去也是为了你，当然这不是什么借口，我想，你刚从乡下来，饭后也许喜欢吃点水果，所以我才到伦敦大菜市场去买了些新鲜水果。”
出于某种原因，我感到我的眼睛快要从眼窝里跳出来了。我在答谢他的美意时竟然说得结结巴巴毫无条理，心想，这该不是一场梦吧。
“天啦！”小鄱凯特先生说道，“这扇门怎么如此难开！”
他使足全身力气去开门，两个纸包还夹在胳肢窝下面，水果都快给压成果酱了。于是我便请他让我来拿，他会意地一笑，便把手中的包儿交给我，然后便全力投入了和门的战斗，仿佛门是一头野兽。终于，门突然地开了，他被门的反冲力撞得踉踉跄跄后退了几步，一直撞到我身上，我也被他撞得向后靠在对过的门上，两人都大笑起来。不过，我还是感到我的眼睛快要从眼窝里蹦出来了，觉得这一定是场梦吧！
“请进来，”小鄱凯特先生说道，“让我来给你带路。我这里一切都很简单，希望你包涵些，在这里住到星期一。我父亲认为你明天和我在一起比和他在一起更为合适，说不定你明天还想在伦敦四周观光一番。自然，我是非常高兴做你的向导，带你在伦敦转转的。至于我们吃的伙食嘛，我想你不至于嫌差，因为这全是由附近的咖啡馆供应的。不过话还得说在前面，根据贾格斯先生的指示，这还得由你自己来付款。至于我们的住房嘛，自然谈不到富丽堂皇了，因为我必须自己赚钱吃饭，我父亲是不管我的账的。即使他要管我的账，我也不会愿意要他付钱。这一间房是我们的起居室，你看这儿的几张椅子、桌子、地毯，还有几件别的东西都是从我家里搬来的。至于这桌布、汤匙、调味瓶什么的，你也不必归功于我了，因为这些都是从咖啡馆里特地为你送来的。这间是我的小卧室，有点儿霉味，不过这并不出奇，巴纳德的整座房子都有霉味。这间是你的卧室，卧室里的家具都是为你租来的，我想你是够用了。如果你还想要什么，我会去为你取来。这些房间都很幽静的，就我们两个人住，总不至于打架吧，这我是敢打赌的。啊呀，对不起得很，让你一直拎着水果。请让我来拿，这真不好意思呢。”
我和小鄱凯特先生面对面站着，我把手中拿的纸包交给他，一只，两只，我看到他的眼中露出惊诧的神情，和我刚才的情况一样。他向后退了一步说道：
“老天啊，你不是那个蹑手蹑脚荡来荡去的小家伙吗？”
“原来是你，”我说道，“你不是那个苍白面孔的的少年绅士吗？”
Chapter 22
THE pale young gentleman and I stood contemplating one another in Barnard's Inn, until we both burst out laughing. `The idea of its being you!' said he. `The idea of its being you!' said I. And then we contemplated one another afresh, and laughed again. `Well!' said the pale young gentleman, reaching out his hand goodhumouredly, `it's all over now, I hope, and it will be magnanimous in you if you'll forgive me for having knocked you about so.' 
I derived from this speech that Mr Herbert Pocket (for Herbert was the pale young gentleman's name) still rather confounded his intention with his execution. But I made a modest reply, and we shook hands warmly.
`You hadn't come into your good fortune at that time?' said Herbert Pocket.
`No,' said I.
`No,' he acquiesced: `I heard it had happened very lately. I was rather on the look-out for good-fortune then.'
`Indeed?'
`Yes. Miss Havisham had sent for me, to see if she could take a fancy to me. But she couldn't - at all events, she didn't.'
I thought it polite to remark that I was surprised to hear that.
`Bad taste,' said Herbert, laughing, `but a fact. Yes, she had sent for me on a trial visit, and if I had come out of it successfully, I suppose I should have been provided for; perhaps I should have been what-you-may-called it to Estella.'
`What's that?' I asked, with sudden gravity.
He was arranging his fruit in plates while we talked, which divided his attention, and was the cause of his having made this lapse of a word. `Affianced,' he explained, still busy with the fruit. `Betrothed. Engaged. What's-his-named. Any word of that sort.'
`How did you bear your disappointment?' I asked.
`Pooh!' said he, `I didn't care much for it. She's a Tartar.'
`Miss Havisham?'
`I don't say no to that, but I meant Estella. That girl's hard and haughty and capricious to the last degree, and has been brought up by Miss Havisham to wreak revenge on all the male sex.'
`What relation is she to Miss Havisham?'
`None,' said he. `Only adopted.'
`Why should she wreak revenge on all the male sex? What revenge?'
`Lord, Mr Pip!' said he. `Don't you know?'
`No,' said I.
`Dear me! It's quite a story, and shall be saved till dinner-time.
And now let me take the liberty of asking you a question. How did you come there, that day?'
I told him, and he was attentive until I had finished, and then burst out laughing again, and asked me if I was sore afterwards? I didn't ask him if he was, for my conviction on that point was perfectly established.
`Mr Jaggers is your guardian, I understand?' he went on.
`Yes.'
`You know he is Miss Havisham's man of business and solicitor, and has her confidence when nobody else has?'
This was bringing me (I felt) towards dangerous ground. I answered with a constraint I made no attempt to disguise, that I had seen Mr Jaggers in Miss Havisham's house on the very day of our combat, but never at any other time, and that I believed he had no recollection of having ever seen me there.
`He was so obliging as to suggest my father for your tutor, and he called on my father to propose it. Of course he knew about my father from his connexion with Miss Havisham. My father is Miss Havisham's cousin; not that that implies familiar intercourse between them, for he is a bad courtier and will not propitiate her.'
Herbert Pocket had a frank and easy way with him that was very taking. I had never seen any one then, and I have never seen any one since, who more strongly expressed to me, in every look and tone, a natural incapacity to do anything secret and mean. There was something wonderfully hopeful about his general air, and something that at the same time whispered to me he would never be very successful or rich. I don't know how this was. I became imbued with the notion on that first occasion before we sat down to dinner, but I cannot define by what means.
He was still a pale young gentleman, and had a certain conquered languor about him in the midst of his spirits and briskness, that did not seem indicative of natural strength. He had not a handsome face, but it was better than handsome: being extremely amiable and cheerful. His figure was a little ungainly, as in the days when my knuckles had taken such liberties with it, but it looked as if it would always be light and young. Whether Mr Trabb's local work would have sat more gracefully on him than on me, may be a question; but I am conscious that he carried off his rather old clothes, much better than I carried off my new suit.
As he was so communicative, I felt that reserve on my part would be a bad return unsuited to our years. I therefore told him my small story, and laid stress on my being forbidden to inquire who my benefactor was. I further mentioned that as I had been brought up a blacksmith in a country place, and knew very little of the ways of politeness, I would take it as a great kindness in him if he would give me a hint whenever he saw me at a loss or going wrong.
`With pleasure,' said he, `though I venture to prophesy that you'll want very few hints. I dare say we shall be often together, and I should like to banish any needless restraint between us. Will you do me the favour to begin at once to call me by my christian name, Herbert?'
I thanked him, and said I would. I informed him in exchange that my christian name was Philip.
`I don't take to Philip,' said he, smiling, `for it sounds like a moral boy out of the spelling-book, who was so lazy that he fell into a pond, or so fat that he couldn't see out of his eyes, or so avaricious that he locked up his cake till the mice ate it, or so determined to go a bird's-nesting that he got himself eaten by bears who lived handy in the neighbourhood. I tell you what I should like. We are so harmonious, and you have been a blacksmith - would you mind it?'
`I shouldn't mind anything that you propose,' I answered, `but I don't understand you.'
`Would you mind Handel for a familiar name? There's a charming piece of music by Handel, called the Harmonious Blacksmith.'
`I should like it very much.'
`Then, my dear Handel,' said he, turning round as the door opened, `here is the dinner, and I must beg of you to take the top of the table, because the dinner is of your providing.'
This I would not hear of, so he took the top, and I faced him. It was a nice little dinner - seemed to me then, a very Lord Mayor's Feast - and it acquired additional relish from being eaten under those independent circumstances, with no old people by, and with London all around us. This again was heightened by a certain gipsy character that set the banquet off; for, while the table was, as Mr Pumblechook might have said, the lap of luxury - being entirely furnished forth from the coffee-house - the circumjacent region of sitting-room was of a comparatively pastureless and shifty character: imposing on the waiter the wandering habits of putting the covers on the floor (where he fell over them), the melted butter in the armchair, the bread on the bookshelves, the cheese in the coalscuttle, and the boiled fowl into my bed in the next room - where I found much of its parsley and butter in a state of congelation when I retired for the night. All this made the feast delightful, and when the waiter was not there to watch me, my pleasure was without alloy.
We had made some progress in the dinner, when I reminded Herbert of his promise to tell me about Miss Havisham.
`True,' he replied. `I'll redeem it at once. Let me introduce the topic, Handel, by mentioning that in London it is not the custom to put the knife in the mouth - for fear of accidents - and that while the fork is reserved for that use, it is not put further in than necessary. It is scarcely worth mentioning, only it's as well to do as other people do. Also, the spoon is not generally used over-hand, but under. This has two advantages. You get at your mouth better (which after all is the object), and you save a good deal of the attitude of opening oysters, on the part of the right elbow.'
He offered these friendly suggestions in such a lively way, that we both laughed and I scarcely blushed.
`Now,' he pursued, `concerning Miss Havisham. Miss Havisham, you must know, was a spoilt child. Her mother died when she was a baby, and her father denied her nothing. Her father was a country gentleman down in your part of the world, and was a brewer. I don't know why it should be a crack thing to be a brewer; but it is indisputable that while you cannot possibly be genteel and bake, you may be as genteel as never was and brew. You see it every day.'
`Yet a gentleman may not keep a public-house; may he?' said I.
`Not on any account,' returned Herbert; `but a public-house may keep a gentleman. Well! Mr Havisham was very rich and very proud. So was his daughter.'
`Miss Havisham was an only child?' I hazarded.
`Stop a moment, I am coming to that. No, she was not an only child; she had a half-brother. Her father privately married again - his cook, I rather think.'
`I thought he was proud,' said I.
`My good Handel, so he was. He married his second wife privately, because he was proud, and in course of time she died. When she was dead, I apprehend he first told his daughter what he had done, and then the son became a part of the family, residing in the house you are acquainted with. As the son grew a young man, he turned out riotous, extravagant, undutiful - altogether bad. At last his father disinherited him; but he softened when he was dying, and left him well off, though not nearly so well off as Miss Havisham. - Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.'
I had been doing this, in an excess of attention to his recital. I thanked him, and apologized. He said, `Not at all,' and resumed.
`Miss Havisham was now an heiress, and you may suppose was looked after as a great match. Her half-brother had now ample means again, but what with debts and what with new madness wasted them most fearfully again. There were stronger differences between him and her, than there had been between him and his father, and it is suspected that he cherished a deep and mortal grudge against her, as having influenced the father's anger. Now, I come to the cruel part of the story - merely breaking off, my dear Handel, to remark that a dinner-napkin will not go into a tumbler.'
Why I was trying to pack mine into my tumbler, I am wholly unable to say. I only know that I found myself, with a perseverance worthy of a much better cause, making the most strenuous exertions to compress it within those limits. Again I thanked him and apologized, and again he said in the cheerfullest manner, `Not at all, I am sure!' and resumed.
`There appeared upon the scene - say at the races, or the public balls, or anywhere else you like - a certain man, who made love to Miss Havisham. I never saw him, for this happened five-and-twenty years ago (before you and I were, Handel), but I have heard my father mention that he was a showy-man, and the kind of man for the purpose. But that he was not to be, without ignorance or prejudice, mistaken for a gentleman, my father most strongly asseverates; because it is a principle of his that no man who was not a true gentleman at heart, ever was, since the world began, a true gentleman in manner. He says, no varnish can hide the grain of the wood; and that the more varnish you put on, the more the grain will express itself. Well! This man pursued Miss Havisham closely, and professed to be devoted to her. I believe she had not shown much susceptibility up to that time; but all the susceptibility she possessed, certainly came out then, and she passionately loved him. There is no doubt that she perfectly idolized him. He practised on her affection in that systematic way, that he got great sums of money from her, and he induced her to buy her brother out of a share in the brewery (which had been weakly left him by his father) at an immense price, on the plea that when he was her husband he must hold and manage it all. Your guardian was not at that time in Miss Havisham's councils, and she was too haughty and too much in love, to be advised by any one. Her relations were poor and scheming, with the exception of my father; he was poor enough, but not time-serving or jealous. The only independent one among them, he warned her that she was doing too much for this man, and was placing herself too unreservedly in his power. She took the first opportunity of angrily ordering my father out of the house, in his presence, and my father has never seen her since.'
I thought of her having said, `Matthew will come and see me at last when I am laid dead upon that table;' and I asked Herbert whether his father was so inveterate against her?
`It's not that,' said he, `but she charged him, in the presence of her intended husband, with being disappointed in the hope of fawning upon her for his own advancement, and, if he were to go to her now, it would look true - even to him - and even to her. To return to the man and make an end of him. The marriage day was fixed, the wedding dresses were bought, the wedding tour was planned out, the wedding guests were invited. The day came, but not the bridegroom. He wrote her a letter--'
`Which she received,' I struck in, `when she was dressing for her marriage? At twenty minutes to nine?'
`At the hour and minute,' said Herbert, nodding, `at which she afterwards stopped all the clocks. What was in it, further than that it most heartlessly broke the marriage off, I can't tell you, because I don't know. When she recovered from a bad illness that she had, she laid the whole place waste, as you have seen it, and she has never since looked upon the light of day.'
`Is that all the story?' I asked, after considering it.
`All I know of it; and indeed I only know so much, through piecing it out for myself; for my father always avoids it, and, even when Miss Havisham invited me to go there, told me no more of it than it was absolutely requisite I should understand. But I have forgotten one thing. It has been supposed that the man to whom she gave her misplaced confidence, acted throughout in concert with her half-brother; that it was a conspiracy between them; and that they shared the profits.'
`I wonder he didn't marry her and get all the property,' said I.
`He may have been married already, and her cruel mortification may have been a part of her half-brother's scheme,' said Herbert.
`Mind! I don't know that.'
`What became of the two men?' I asked, after again considering the subject.
`They fell into deeper shame and degradation - if there can be deeper - and ruin.'
`Are they alive now?'
`I don't know.'
`You said just now, that Estella was not related to Miss Havisham, but adopted. When adopted?'
Herbert shrugged his shoulders. `There has always been an Estella, since I have heard of a Miss Havisham. I know no more. And now, Handel,' said he, finally throwing off the story as it were, `there is a perfectly open understanding between us. All that I know about Miss Havisham, you know.'
`And all that I know,' I retorted, `you know.'
`I fully believe it. So there can be no competition or perplexity between you and me. And as to the condition on which you hold your advancement in life - namely, that you are not to inquire or discuss to whom you owe it - you may be very sure that it will never be encroached upon, or even approached, by me, or by any one belonging to me.'
In truth, he said this with so much delicacy, that I felt the subject done with, even though I should be under his father's roof for years and years to come. Yet he said it with so much meaning, too, that I felt he as perfectly understood Miss Havisham to be my benefactress, as I understood the fact myself.
It had not occurred to me before, that he had led up to the theme for the purpose of clearing it out of our way; but we were so much the lighter and easier for having broached it, that I now perceived this to be the case. We were very gay and sociable, and I asked him, in the course of conversation, what he was? He replied, `A capitalist - an Insurer of Ships.' I suppose he saw me glancing about the room in search of some tokens of Shipping, or capital, for he added, `In the City.'
I had grand ideas of the wealth and importance of Insurers of Ships in the City, and I began to think with awe, of having laid a young Insurer on his back, blackened his enterprising eye, and cut his responsible head open. But, again, there came upon me, for my relief, that odd impression that Herbert Pocket would never be very successful or rich.
`I shall not rest satisfied with merely employing my capital in insuring ships. I shall buy up some good Life Assurance shares, and cut into the Direction. I shall also do a little in the mining way. None of these things will interfere with my chartering a few thousand tons on my own account. I think I shall trade,' said he, leaning back in his chair, `to the East Indies, for silks, shawls, spices, dyes, drugs, and precious woóds. It's an interesting trade.'
`And the profits are large?' said I.
`Tremendous!' said he.
I wavered again, and began to think here were greater expectations than my own.
`I think I shall trade, also,' said he, putting his thumbs in his waistcoat pockets, `to the West Indies, for sugar, tobacco, and rum. Also to Ceylon, specially for elephants' tusks.'
`You will want a good many ships,' said I.
`A perfect fleet,' said he.
Quite overpowered by the magnificence of these transactions, I asked him where the ships he insured mostly traded to at present?
`I haven't begun insuring yet,' he replied. `I am looking about me.'
Somehow, that pursuit seemed more in keeping with Barnard's Inn. I said (in a tone of conviction), `Ah-h!'
`Yes. I am in a counting-house, and looking about me.'
`Is a counting-house profitable?' I asked.
`To - do you mean to the young fellow who's in it?' he asked, in reply.
`Yes; to you.'
`Why, n-no: not to me.' He said this with the air of one carefully reckoning up and striking a balance. `Not directly profitable. That is, it doesn't pay me anything, and I have to - keep myself.'
This certainly had not a profitable appearance, and I shook my head as if I would imply that it would be difficult to lay by much accumulative capital from such a source of income.
`But the thing is,' said Herbert Pocket, `that you look about you. That's the grand thing. You are in a counting-house, you know, and you look about you.'
It struck me as a singular implication that you couldn't be out of a counting-house, you know, and look about you; but I silently deferred to his experience.
`Then the time comes,' said Herbert, `when you see your opening. And you go in, and you swoop upon it and you make your capital, and then there you are! When you have once made your capital, you have nothing to do but employ it.'
This was very like his way of conducting that encounter in the garden; very like. His manner of bearing his poverty, too, exactly corresponded to his manner of bearing that defeat. It seemed to me that he took all blows and buffets now, with just the same air as he had taken mine then. It was evident that he had nothing around him but the simplest necessaries, for everything that I remarked upon turned out to have been sent in on my account from the coffee-house or somewhere else.
Yet, having already made his fortune in his own mind, he was so unassuming with it that I felt quite grateful to him for not being puffed up. It was a pleasant addition to his naturally pleasant ways, and we got on famously. In the evening we went out for a walk in the streets, and went half-price to the Theatre; and next day we went to church at Westminster Abbey, and in the afternoon we walked in the Parks; and I wondered who shod all the horses there, and wished Joe did.
On a moderate computation, it was many months, that Sunday, since I had left Joe and Biddy. The space interposed between myself and them, partook of that expansion, and our marshes were any distance off. That I could have been at our old church in my old church-going clothes, on the very last Sunday that ever was, seemed a combination of impossibilities, geographical and social, solar and lunar. Yet in the London streets, so crowded with people and so brilliantly lighted in the dusk of evening, there were depressing hints of reproaches for that I had put the poor old kitchen at home so far away; and in the dead of night, the footsteps of some incapable impostor of a porter mooning about Barnard's Inn, under pretence of watching it, fell hollow on my heart.
On the Monday morning at a quarter before nine, Herbert went to the counting-house to report himself - to look about him, too, I suppose - and I bore him company. He was to come away in an hour or two to attend me to Hammersmith, and I was to wait about for him. It appeared to me that the eggs from which young Insurers were hatched, were incubated in dust and heat, like the eggs of ostriches, judging from the places to which those incipient giants repaired on a Monday morning. Nor did the counting-house where Herbert assisted, show in my eyes as at all a good Observatory; being a back second floor up a yard, of a grimy presence in all particulars, and with a look into another back second floor, rather than a look out.
I waited about until it was noon, and I went upon 'Change, and I saw fluey men sitting there under the bills about shipping, whom I took to be great merchants, though I couldn't understand why they should all be out of spirits. When Herbert came, we went and had lunch at a celebrated house which I then quite venerated, but now believe to have been the most abject superstition in Europe, and where I could not help noticing, even then, that there was much more gravy on the tablecloths and knives and waiters' clothes, than in the steaks. This collation disposed of at a moderate price (considering the grease: which was not charged for), we went back to Barnard's Inn and got my little portmanteau, and then took coach for Hammersmith. We arrived there at two or three o'clock in the afternoon, and had very little way to walk to Mr Pocket's house. Lifting the latch of a gate, we passed direct into a little garden overlooking the river, where Mr Pocket's children were playing about. And unless I deceive myself on a point where my interests or prepossessions are certainly not concerned, I saw that Mr and Mrs Pocket's children were not growing up or being brought up, but were tumbling up.
Mrs Pocket was sitting on a garden chair under a tree, reading, with her legs upon another garden chair; and Mrs Pocket's two nursemaids were looking about them while the children played. `Mamma,' said Herbert, `this is young Mr Pip.' Upon which Mrs Pocket received me with an appearance of amiable dignity.
`Master Alick and Miss Jane,' cried one of the nurses to two of the children, `if you go a bouncing up against them bushes you'll fall over into the river and be drownded, and what'll your pa say then?'
At the same time this nurse picked up Mrs Pocket's handkerchief, and said, `If that don't make six times you've dropped it, Mum!' Upon which Mrs Pocket laughed and said, `Thank you, Flopson,' and settling herself in one chair only, resumed her book. Her countenance immediately assumed a knitted and intent expression as if she had been reading for a week, but before she could have read half a dozen lines, she fixed her eyes upon me, and said, `I hope your mamma is quite well?' This unexpected inquiry put me into such a difficulty that I began saying in the absurdest way that if there had been any such person I had no doubt she would have been quite well and would have been very much obliged and would have sent her compliments, when the nurse came to my rescue.
`Well!' she cried, picking up the pocket handkerchief, `if that don't make seven times! What ARE you a doing of this afternoon, Mum!' Mrs Pocket received her property, at first with a look of unutterable surprise as if she had never seen it before, and then with a laugh of recognition, and said, `Thank you, Flopson,' and forgot me, and went on reading.
I found, now I had leisure to count them, that there were no fewer than six little Pockets present, in various stages of tumbling up. I had scarcely arrived at the total when a seventh was heard, as in the region of air, wailing dolefully.
`If there ain't Baby!' said Flopson, appearing to think it most surprising. `Make haste up, Millers.'
Millers, who was the other nurse, retired into the house, and by degrees the child's wailing was hushed and stopped, as if it were a young ventriloquist with something in its mouth. Mrs Pocket read all the time, and I was curious to know what the book could be.
We were waiting, I supposed, for Mr Pocket to come out to us; at any rate we waited there, and so I had an opportunity of observing the remarkable family phenomenon that whenever any of the children strayed near Mrs Pocket in their play, they always tripped themselves up and tumbled over her - always very much to her momentary astonishment, and their own more enduring lamentation. I was at a loss to account for this surprising circumstance, and could not help giving my mind to speculations about it, until by-and-by Millers came down with the baby, which baby was handed to Flopson, which Flopson was handing it to Mrs Pocket, when she too went fairly head foremost over Mrs Pocket, baby and all, and was caught by Herbert and myself.
`Gracious me, Flopson!' said Mrs Pocket, looking off her book for a moment, `everybody's tumbling!'
`Gracious you, indeed, Mum!' returned Flopson, very red in the face; `what have you got there?'
`I got here, Flopson?' asked Mrs Pocket.
`Why, if it ain't your footstool!' cried Flopson. `And if you keep it under your skirts like that, who's to help tumbling? Here!Take the baby, Mum, and give me your book.'
Mrs Pocket acted on the advice, and inexpertly danced the infant a little in her lap, while the other children played about it. This had lasted but a very short time, when Mrs Pocket issued summary orders that they were all to be taken into the house for a nap. Thus I made the second discovery on that first occasion, that the nurture of the little Pockets consisted of alternately tumbling up and lying down.
Under these circumstances, when Flopson and Millers had got the children into the house, like a little flock of sheep, and Mr Pocket came out of it to make my acquaintance, I was not much surprised to find that Mr Pocket was a gentleman with a rather perplexed expression of face, and with his very grey hair disordered on his head, as if he didn't quite see his way to putting anything straight.
 
这位苍白面孔的少年绅士和我面对面站着，相互暗暗思量着，竟然在这个巴纳德旅馆中相会了，两人爆发出一阵大笑。
“没有想到竟然是你！”他说道。“没有想到竟然是你！”我也说道。然后，我们两人又一次相互瞧着，再次爆发出一阵大笑。“行了！”这苍白面孔的少年绅士说着，十分开心地伸出他的手，“我希望一切到此结束。上次我把你打得太狠了，只要你原谅我，你就是豁达而又大气量的人。”
一听他如此说，我便肯定这位赫伯特•鄱凯特先生（这是这位苍白面孔的少年绅士的名字）到今天还是糊里糊涂，自己明明打败了还说自己狠。不过，我对他作了有礼貌的回答，两人热情地相互握手。
“那个时候你还没有走红运吧？”赫伯特•鄱凯特说道。
“那时还没有。”我答道。
“是啊，”他赞同道，“我也听说你最近才交上好运。那时候我也指望交好运呢。”
“真的吗？”
“是的。郝维仙小姐那时叫我去，看她是不是能栽培我，结果她没看上我，她无论如何是看不上我的。”
我想，从礼貌出发，我该对他说这真是出乎我意料之外。
“识别能力太差！”赫伯特笑着说道，“然而这是事实。她本要我去试一下，如果去了而又顺利地被她看中，我想我一定是荣华富贵了；说不定早就和埃斯苔娜那个了。”
“什么那个了？”我严肃地问他。
我们谈话时，他正在把水果装进盘子里，因此一时分心，就没有想出该用一个什么确切的词。他一面忙着装水果，一面解释道：“那个就是下婚聘，也就是订婚、订亲，反正就这么个叫法，哪个词都一样。”
“你怎么能忍受这种失望呢？”我问道。
“嘿！”他说道，“我并不在乎这些。她是一只母老虎。”
“郝维仙小姐？”
“她也是，不过我指的是埃斯苔娜。这个姑娘对人刻薄、态度傲慢。变化无常，全都登峰造极了。郝维仙小姐收养她的目的就是为了要报复天下的男人。”
“她和郝维仙小姐是什么亲戚？”
“什么亲戚也不是，”他说道，“仅仅是一个养女。”
“为什么要报复天下的男人？她和天下的男人有什么怨仇？”
“老天！皮普先生！”他说道，“难道你真的不知道？”
我说：“我真的不知道。”
“噢！这可是一个动听的故事，吃饭时我给你讲讲。不过现在，请恕我冒昧，我倒要先请教你一个问题。那一天你是怎么到那里去的？”
我便告诉了他前后经过，他专心地一直听我讲完，然后大笑起来，问我事后感不感到身上痛。我并没有问他痛不痛，因为我坚信他那天被打得很痛，这是千真万确的。
“贾格斯先生是你的监护人，有这事吗？”他继续问道。
“是这样。”
“他是郝维仙小姐的代理人和律师，是她唯一信赖的人，你可晓得？”
我感到他的这一个问题把我引向了难以解答的敏感区域，便毫不掩饰自己内心的亻局促不安，回答说我就是在我们两个比试的那一天在郝维仙小姐家中遇到贾格斯先生的，仅此一次，而且肯定再没见过面，只怕他也想不起来在那里曾看见过我了。
“贾格斯先生非常诚恳地推荐我父亲当你的老师，为了这件事他亲自去找过我父亲。自然了，他也是从郝维仙小姐处听说我父亲的。因为我父亲和郝维仙小姐是表亲关系。不过，他们之间并不亲密，因为我父亲既不会奉承人，也不会巴结她。”
赫伯特•鄱凯特是一个心怀坦白、平易近人的人，也很可爱。过去我没有见过像他这样的人，后来我也没有见过像他这样的人。他给我留下的印象非常强烈，他的每一个音容笑貌都表明他不会做出阴险卑鄙的事来。从他的仪表来看，我感到他的前途大有可为，不过同时又有什么使我想到他这一生决不会成大器、发大财。究竟为什么，我自己也说不清。我们刚刚相见，连饭还没有一起吃，我就对他形成了这个观念，自己也无法讲明其中的原因。
他和以往一样，仍然面孔苍白，虽然看上去精神抖擞，意气昂扬，其实是有气无力地强撑出来的，所以他的身体并不是真正的强壮。他的面孔生得不美，但是他和蔼可亲和欣慰欢愉的表情却使他比美少年还更胜一筹。他的身段并不相称，和当年我不客气地请他吃拳头时一样，但是他的身段总是给人一种轻巧年轻的感觉。要是他穿上特拉布先生做的衣服，是不是会比我穿着更合身更漂亮，这我不能说，但是我认为，他穿那身旧衣服比起我穿这套新衣服要像样得多。
他很善于言谈，我感到如果我沉默寡言，那既不像个年轻人，也是对他不敬的表现，所以我便告诉他我的故事，特别着重指出不允许打听我的恩主是谁。我又告诉他，我原来住在穷乡僻壤，是铁匠铺的学徒，历来不懂礼貌规矩，如果他发现我在什么方面出了笑话，就告诉我，我将不胜感激。
“我十分愿意，”他说道，“不过我认为你不会有什么方面要我提醒的。我们今后会时常在一起，相互之间不要有隔阂，最好打破没有必要的顾虑。你是不是赞成从现在开始就直呼我的教名赫伯特？”
我对他的好意表示感谢，并且说我很赞成。作为交换，我告诉他我的教名是菲利普。
“我不喜欢菲利普这个名字，”他微笑着说道，“因为菲利普听起来就像拼写书里那个道貌岸然的小孩子，这个家伙懒得掉进池塘里，胖得两只眼睛都睁不开，又那么贪婪，把糕饼锁在柜子里舍不得吃，结果喂了老鼠，或者他下定决心去掏鸟窝，却被住在附近的狗熊吃了。我告诉你我喜欢叫你什么。我们彼此很和谐，你过去是打铁的，我这样说你不会在意吧？”
“随你怎么说我都不在意的，”我答道，“不过我还没有弄懂你的意思。”
“我平常就用汉德尔这个名字叫你怎么样？汉德尔谱过一首迷人的曲子，那曲子就叫《和谐的铁匠》。”
“我非常喜欢这个名字。”
“那么，亲爱的汉德尔——”他刚说完这么几个字，门就被推开了。他转身一看，说道：“晚饭来了，我请你一定要坐在桌子的首位，因为这顿饭我是托你的福。”
我怎么也不愿听从他的安排，所以他只有坐在首位，我坐在他的对面。这顿晚餐规模虽说不大，却非常可口，从我的角度来看，简直就是市长老爷的宴席了。在如此独立自主的环境下吃饭很是自由自在，而且没有长辈们坐在旁边，四周又是伦敦城。这顿晚餐还有些吉卜赛人的风格，令我们的兴趣提高不少。晚餐本身要是用彭波契克先生的话来形容，那就是“极尽奢华”，是由咖啡馆全盘提供的，而我们这个起居室四周就像是牧草匾乏的地区，所以只有随机应变，因陋就简。送饭来的茶房在这种情况下也只有适应我们流浪的习惯，把整套的餐具放在地板上（弄得他走路时常常会被绊倒），把松软的黄油放在圈椅上，把面包放在书架上，把乳酪放在煤篓子里，把炖鸡放在隔壁房间里我的床上——我晚上睡觉时发现被褥上沾了不少荷兰芹和黄油冻。所有这一切都使我们的晚餐吃着非常有趣，特别是当这位送饭来的侍者不在我们身边看我们吃时，我们吃得更加愉快。
我们吃了一阵，我便提醒赫伯特，他答应过在吃饭时把郝维仙小姐的事情讲给我听。
“是要讲的，”他答道，“我马上便说。不过我得先谈一件事，汉德尔，从伦敦的习惯来说，是不能把餐刀放进嘴里的，以免发生意外。一般来说是用叉子把食物递到嘴里去，而且放进的位置要适当，不能太里面。当然，这都是小事，是不值得大惊小怪的，只不过别人这样做，我们也依样画葫芦罢了。还有，用汤匙时不要举得过高，要放低一些。这有两点好处，一是更易于送进嘴里，归根结底吃东西是要把东西送进嘴里的；另一个好处是右边的胳膊肘就不至于像剥牡蛎一样抬得很高。”
他如此生动活泼地向我提出友好的建议，使两人都哈哈大笑起来，我也没有感到羞愧。
接着他说道：“现在我就来谈谈郝维仙小姐吧。你得了解，郝维仙小姐从小就是一个娇生惯养的女孩子。她还是婴儿时母亲便离世而去，她父亲总是顺从她，要什么便给什么。她的父亲是你们那一带的乡绅，是啤酒作坊的老板。我弄不懂为什么啤酒作坊的老板就可以成为一流名人，而烤面包的就不能成为上流人物，但这却是无可争辩的。世道如此，司空见惯了。”
“听说上流人物不能开酒馆，对吗？”我问道。
“无论如何都不能，”赫伯特说道，“但是一家酒馆却可以接待上流人物。正是如此，郝维仙小姐是很有钱的，又很骄傲。有这样的父亲，也就有这样的女儿。”
“难道郝维仙小姐是独生女吗？”我冒冒失失地问道。
“不用着急，我自然会谈到。郝维仙小姐并不是唯一的孩子，她有一个同父异母的弟弟。她父亲私下又讨了个老婆，据说就是他的女厨子。”
“我以为他真的那么骄傲呢。”我说道。
“我的好汉德尔，他骄傲并不假，私下里娶第二个妻子，就是因为他骄傲。他们生活了一段时间后她便死了。她死了以后，我想他才把这件事告诉他的女儿，说他还有一个儿子，以后这个儿子便成为这个家庭的一个成员，也住在你很熟悉的那座房子里。在这儿子长成翩翩少年时，变成了一个胡作非为、挥霍无度、极不守本分的人，简直是一个坏蛋。最后做父亲的便剥夺了他的继承权，但是在快死时，又想开了，留给儿子一笔财产，当然远远比不上郝维仙小姐的财产多。来，再喝一杯酒。对不起，我又要来提醒你了：在社交场合，干杯不要那么过分严肃认真，可以潇洒一些，可以把酒杯碰到鼻子上来个底儿朝天。”
我专心致志地听他叙述，以致注意过了头，出了差错。于是我便向他表示谢意，而且连声说抱歉。他说了声“没有关系，以后注意便行了”，接下去又说道：
“郝维仙小姐成了继承人后，想来高攀的人自然川流不息，这是可想而知的。他的那位同父异母的兄弟虽然也有丰厚的财产，但经不住他的还债，以及毫无节制的挥霍，最后又成为一文不名的人了。于是，姐弟之间又有了不和，不和的程度大大超过当日他和父亲之间的不和。大家猜想他对他姐姐产生了不共戴天的仇恨，以为过去父亲之所以迁怒于他全是受她的影响。现在我就来叙述她最悲惨的情节——对不起，汉德尔，我又要打断你听故事了，注意不要把餐巾放在大玻璃酒杯里。”
我为什么把餐巾弄到大玻璃酒杯中去，自己完全说不出个所以然。我只知道我费了很大的力气才把偌大的一块餐巾硬塞进有限的杯口里，完全是莫名其妙。于是，我再次感谢他好意指出，并一再表示歉意，他也以和颜悦色的态度说“没关系，没关系”，然后又继续讲下去。
“接着出现了新的情况，来了一个男人，可能是在赛马场中遇上的，或许是在公共舞厅里结识的，反正随便说是哪儿遇到的都可以。这个人对郝维仙小姐大献殷勤。我没有见过此人，因为这是二十五年前发生的事，汉德尔，当时你我两人还没有来到这世界呢。我曾听我父亲说过，这个人生得挺好看，是个情场追逐的老手。如果不是无知和偏见，谁也不会错认他是个君子，因为他完全是个小人。我父亲斩钉截铁地认为他是个伪君子。我父亲有个信念：自从有人类社会以来，凡是没有君子之心的人也不会有君子之外表。我父亲认为清漆是盖不了木头的纹路的；你清漆上得愈多，木头的纹路也就愈清楚。简单地说，这个男人紧紧地追着郝维仙小姐不放，甜言蜜语地说对她忠心耿耿、爱心不变。我认为那时候她还没有对谁动过情感，但是一旦对谁动了心，那么全部真情便爆发出来，一发而不可收，也便把全部情感倾注到了他身上。无疑，她把他当成了自己的白马王子。于是他便在她身上施展手段，玩弄她的感情。他不仅从她那里骗取了许多钱，而且还引诱她花很大的价钱从她弟弟手中购进啤酒作坊的股份，其实他父亲留给他的股份是极其微小的。这个男人还编造谎言，说他不久将成为她的丈夫，应该经营那个啤酒作坊。那时，你的监护人还不是郝维仙小姐的代理人，何况她十分骄傲，又非常忠于情人，任何人的劝言都不会入耳。她的一些亲戚都是穷人，又都诡计多端，只有我父亲不是那一号人。他是穷人，但决不会随波逐流，趋炎附势，也不会得红眼病妒忌别人，在她的亲戚中是一个有独立人格的人。他告诉郝维仙小姐，她过分迁就那个男人了，受了他的控制。当然，这得罪了她，她便找到一个机会，当着这个男人的面，怒气冲冲地把我父亲从这个家庭中赶走。自那以后，我父亲就再也没有见过她。”
我还记得郝维仙小姐曾经说过：“在我死后停尸在那张桌子上时，马休总还是得来看我的。”于是我问赫伯特，他父亲是不是对她恨之入骨，有不共戴天之仇恨呢？
“不至于如此，”他说道，“但是她曾当着那个男人的面数落我父亲，说他是为了自己得到好处，结果却没有得到。假使我父亲再去看她，那假话便会被当真，就是我父亲本人，甚至郝维仙小姐也会认为这是真的了。闲言少叙，话归正题，把这件事说完吧。最后结婚日期定下了，结婚礼服也办好了，结婚旅行的行程也安排了，结婚典礼的宾客也邀请了，可在婚礼的那一天，就是不见新郎官，只见到他的一封信——”
我急忙插言道：“她是不是正在穿结婚礼服时收到那封信的？是不是八点四十分？”
“的确是八点四十分，”赫伯特点头答道，“于是她后来就让家中全部的钟表都停在八点四十分上。这封毫无情意的信一来，她的婚姻大事也便告吹，至于信中究竟还讲了些什么，恕我不能奉告，因为我也不知道。接着，她生了一场大病，病愈后她让整座宅邸荒芜，这些你都已亲眼目睹。那以后她再也没有出来见过天日。”
“这是全部的经过吗？”我思考了一下问道。
“我知道的就这些。其实这些事情也是我自己拼凑起来的，因为我父亲一般是不提此事的，即使那次郝维仙小姐邀我到她那里去，我父亲也只是告诉了我一点必须要了解的事，多一点也不让我知道。不过有一件事我刚才可忘了。据猜测，那个她所误信的男人其实和她那个同父异母的兄弟是沆瀣一气，秘密串通好的。他们狼狈为奸，所得好处也两人平分。”
“我奇怪他怎么不和她结婚，而后再夺取她全部财产呢？”我又问道。
“说不定他已经结婚了，也许这是她同父异母兄弟想出来的残酷计划，让她遗恨终身。”赫伯特说道，“我得告诉你，究竟怎么一回事我也不知道。”
“那两个家伙后来怎么样了呢？”我又思考了一下这件事，问道。
“他们会越陷越深，会更丢脸、更堕落，最后只有毁灭自己。”
“现在他们还活着吗？”
“这我可不晓得。”
“你刚才说埃斯苔娜和郝维仙小姐无任何亲戚关系，只是领养的。什么时候领养的？”
赫伯特耸了耸肩说道：“我知道有郝维仙小姐的那一天起就知道有了埃斯苔娜。我所知仅仅如此，汉德尔。”然后他就换了话题，说道：“现在我们两个之间已经无话不谈，关于郝维仙小姐的情况，凡是我知道的你也知道了。”
“凡是我所知道的，你也都知道了。”我回了他一句。
“这一点我完全相信，既然如此，在你我之间就不可能勾心斗角，也不可能纠缠不清了。如今你正在青云直上、飞黄腾达，你要遵守诺言，不去询问和讨论恩主是谁。你尽管放心，无论是我还是我家的人都决不会侵犯你的领地，也不会靠近。”
他说的话真是太体面周到了，我想这样最好，即使我以后在他父亲的家里住上十年八年学习也没有人会提起此事。他说的又是那么含义深刻，我想他完全了解郝维仙小姐就是我的恩主，和我自己了解这一事实一样清楚。
在此之前我没有这样想过，而他却把话头引到这个主题，其目的就是为了消除今后交往方面的障碍。现在我们已开诚布公，所以很轻松自如，交往愉快，我才明白原来如此。两人都显得很高兴很友好，我便随口问他是干什么的。他答道：“我是个资本家，是船运保险承包商。”我想他注意到我正打量房间的四周，似乎在寻找一些有关船运和资本的标志，因为他补充了一句：“那些都放在城里。”
过去我有一个想法，认为城里的船运保险承包商是财大气粗不可一世的人物，所以我怀着敬畏的心情想到自己曾把一个少年保险承包商打翻在地、四脚朝天，把他具有事业心的眼睛打肿，把他负有重大责任的脑袋打破。不过，话又说回来，我同时还怀着自我宽慰的心情想到，这个赫伯特•鄱凯特不会发迹的，也不会成为财主。我不晓得自己怎么会有这种奇怪的印象。
“我不会仅仅停留在对船运保险的投资中，光这样我是不满足的，我还想购进一些有利可图的人寿保险股票，并且杀进指挥部门。我还想在矿业方面干一手。除这些外，我还想包租几千吨位的船去做生意。”他将背倚在椅子上说道，“我要到东印度去，去做丝绸、披巾、香料。染料、药品以及珍贵木材方面的生意。这都是些有利可图的买卖。”
“利润多吗？”我问道。
“多极了！”他答道。
我的思想开始波动，心想，他的前程比我的更远大。
“我还想去西印度，”他把大姆指插进背心的口袋中，说道，“去那里做食糖、烟草、甜酒的生意。我还要到锡兰去做生意，特别是去做象牙生意。”
“你得要有许多船。”我说道。
“要一个船队。”他答道。
他这宏伟的贸易计划几乎把我完全征服了，我便问他目前所保险的船只主要开往何处进行贸易。
“我还没有开始保险生意呢，”他答道，“我正在观望形势。”
我这才知道他一切还在筹划之中，这倒和巴纳德旅馆这种地方蛮相称的，于是我深信不疑地说道：“啊——啊！”
“是这样，目前我在一家公司的会计室中工作，正在观望形势，伺机而动。”
“会计室可是一个有利可图的地方？”我问道。
“你是指会计室里的年轻人吗？”他没有回答却反问我道。
“正是，我正是指你。”
“唔，不，不，我可没有利。”他说话的神气好像在仔细核算，想尽量做到收支平衡一样，“没有直接的利益，也就是他们不付给我钱，我还必须自己养活自己。”
这样看来，确实是无利可图了。于是我摇了一下头，似乎是说，这样的情况要想聚集起资本是非常困难的。
赫伯特•鄱凯特说道：“问题在于你要善于观望形势，这才是最重要的事。你要懂得，身在会计室中，就可以观望形势，伺机而动。”
我听他的话中有这么一种含义，似乎只有在会计室里才可以观望形势，这点我不敢苟同。当然，我只是不动声色地听着，以表示对他经验之谈的敬重。
“只要时机一到，”赫伯特说道，“你面前便出现了光明大道。你只要钻进去，你只要扑上去，你就能聚起资本，那你就成了！你一旦有了资本，还愁什么，就去运用你的资本好了。”
他今天的这副形象和从前我们在花园相斗时他的形象很相似，非常非常地相似。今天他忍受贫穷的态度和当年忍受我拳打脚踢的态度完全相同。依我观察，他把当年受我拳脚打击的态度搬来准备接受命运对他的打击。现在我已一目了然，他除了几件必要的最简单的用品外，真是一无所有。房中的用品，只要一问起，要么是咖啡馆为我送来的，要么是什么地方为我准备的。
赫伯特在他的脑子里已经拥有了一大笔财产，却仍是那么谦虚谨慎，这种不摆架子的人格不由不使我由衷地敬佩。他本来就天生一副令人愉快的风度，谦虚不摆架子使他更加令人心舒意畅，所以我们极易相处。当晚我们便到街上去散步，又去戏院看半价戏；第二天同去西敏斯特教堂去做礼拜，下午又到几个公园去玩。我看到许多马匹，心想不知道是谁给马儿钉的掌，我多么希望是乔的杰作啊。
那个星期天，即使粗粗地一算，我也觉得自从和乔及毕蒂离开以来，好像已过去了好几个月，我与他们之间的空间距离仿佛也使我们之间的时间距离扩大起来，故乡的那片沼泽地是那么遥远。然而，仅仅是上个星期，我还穿着那身旧的假日礼服去教堂做礼拜，而现在回想起来，无论从地理位置或社会地位上讲，无论用老阳历还是用老阴历来计算，都像是不可能的事。如今在伦敦的街头巷尾闲逛，那挤挤攘攘的人群，那灯火辉煌的夜晚，忽然使我感到一阵压抑，心头涌出对自己的责备之情，觉得不该把家中贫穷而破旧的厨房远远抛开。在这死气沉沉的黑夜中，一个无能的守门骗子，在巴纳德旅馆里四处闹荡，装出一副查夜的样子，噔噔的脚步声在我心中发出空荡的回声。
星期一早晨八时三刻，赫伯特要到他的会计室去上班，我想，也是去观望形势、待机而动，于是陪他一同前往。他说一两个小时就离开，并和我到汉莫史密斯去，所以我就在附近等他。我觉得，星期一早晨，在伦敦四处乱窜的那些初露头角的保险业巨人们就像是从蛋里刚孵出来的一样，一出来便四处奔波，那蛋很像在热带沙漠中孵化的鸵鸟蛋。在我看来，赫伯特所在的那个会计室并不是一处良好的Liao望台，它设在一个院子后楼的三楼上，一切看上去都面目可怕、毫不起眼，与其说可以Liao望，不如说只能看一看另一幢后楼的三楼而已。
我在那里一直等到中午，然后便溜达进了证券交易所。我看到一些毛发蓬松的人坐在船运证券信息牌下。我认为这些人都是了不起的商贾，不过弄不懂为什么他们全都显得没精打采。等到赫伯特来了，我们便一同去到那家有名的餐馆去吃午餐。当时我对这家餐馆特别敬重，现在才感到这家餐馆其实是整个欧洲最劣等的图有虚名的饭店。吃饭时我注意到桌布上、刀叉上和茶房衣服上的肉汁汤比牛排上的还要多。不过，里面的价格还算不贵，也许油脂没有算在其中吧。饭后回到巴纳德旅馆，我拎上那只手提箱，两人便雇了一辆马车直驶汉莫史密斯。到下午两三点钟的时候我们才到达那里，要到鄱凯特先生的家还得步行一小段路。到达后，我们打开门闩，便直接走进了一座小花园。花园面临一条河，鄱凯特先生的孩子们正在那儿玩耍。我看着他们心想，鄱凯特先生和夫人的孩子们一定不是长大的，也不是带大的，而是摔跤摔大的。我想我的这一看法不是自欺欺人的，因为这和我的利益或我个人的偏好是毫无关系的。
鄱凯特夫人正在一棵树下的一张花园椅上坐着读书，两条腿搁在另外一张花园椅子上。鄱凯特夫人的两名女佣人正在照看玩耍着的孩子们。赫伯特说道：“妈妈，这就是小皮普先生。”鄱凯特夫人立刻和我打招呼，神态既和蔼可亲，又庄严认真。
一个保姆对两个玩耍的孩子叫道：“阿里斯少爷，珍妮小姐，你们蹦来跳去要小心，不要被小树丛绊倒，要是滚到河里去淹死了，你爸爸会怎么怪我呢？”
同时这位保姆又从地上捡起了鄱凯特夫人的手帕，说道：“夫人，这是你的手帕，掉在地上第六次了！”鄱凯特夫人笑着答道：“谢谢你，芙萝普莘。”然后把腿从另一张椅子上挪开，只坐在一张椅子上，继续读书。她的面容立刻呈现出眉头紧皱聚精会神的样子，好像她已连续读了一个星期的书一样，但是还没有看了五六行，眼光便转到了我身上，对我说道：“你妈妈一定身体挺好吧？”这一突如其来的问题使我慌成一团，只有糊里糊涂地答道，如果我还有妈妈的话，我肯定她的身体挺好，也一定十分感谢，一定会带来她的问候。正在这尴尬的时候，保姆过来才算救了我。
“噢！”保姆从地上捡起这位鄱凯特夫人的手帕，大声说道，“我看这是第七次了！今天下午你怎么啦，夫人！”鄱凯特夫人接过了她的手帕，先是感到十分惊讶，好像她以前从来没有见过这东西，然后认出来了，便笑了一下，说道：“芙萝普莘，谢谢你。”说完又忘了我在那里，继续读她的书去了。
现在我才有空来数一数这些孩子，发现至少有六个小鄱凯特在花园里玩，正处于各个不同的摔打时期。我还没有数清楚就听到了第七个孩子的声音，这悲伤的啼哭声仿佛是凭空而降的。
“是宝宝醒了吗？”芙萝普莘表现出十分惊奇的神态，“米耐丝，你快去看看。”
米耐丝是另外那位保姆，她走进了房子，马上小孩子的哭声慢慢地轻下去，以至消失了，好像那个小口技演员的嘴里给塞进了什么东西，问题就解决了。鄱凯特夫人手不离卷地读着书，我很想知道她读的是什么书。
我心中暗忖，我们大概是在等待鄱凯特先生出来，不管是不是，反正我们都等在那儿，所以我也就有了机会来观察这一家中发生的有趣现象：只要孩子们乱蹦乱跳地跑到鄱凯特夫人的近处，他们就会绊倒，跌在她身上——每逢这时刻，她总是表现出惊诧，而孩子们也总是要伤心地哭上一会儿。这种情况的确使人感到很奇怪，我不得不加以思索，想得出了神，直到米耐丝抱着宝宝出来，又递给了芙萝普莘，芙萝普莘又准备把宝宝递给鄱凯特夫人，也就在这刹那之间，芙萝普莘连人带宝宝都一头向鄱凯特夫人的身上栽了过去，幸亏赫伯特和我在那里，扶住她而没有摔倒。
“我的天啦，芙萝普莘！”鄱凯特夫人这才把眼光从书本上移开，说道，“怎么大家都不停地摔倒！”
“天啦，你，真是的夫人！”芙萝普莘脸上惊得红起来，说道，“你在这里究竟藏着什么东西？”
“芙萝普莘，你是问我这里？”鄱凯特夫人问道。
“是啊，那不是你搁脚的凳子吗？”芙萝普莘说道，“你把小凳子放在你裙子下面，谁绊上能不跌跤呢？来，夫人，孩子给你，你把书给我。”
鄱凯特夫人接过宝宝，把它放在自己的膝上摇晃着，动作很不娴熟，其他孩子们也都围过来玩耍。没有一会儿，鄱凯特夫人就发出命令，叫保姆把他们全都带到房中去午睡。虽然我第一次到这里来，但却又有了第二个发现，原来抚养小鄱凯特们的方法是摔跤和睡觉交替地构成的，摔跤以后便是睡觉，当然，睡觉之后又是摔跤。
这时，芙萝普莘和米耐丝就像赶一群小羊一样把孩子们给弄进了屋，鄱凯特先生也从房中走出来和我见面。鄱凯特先生一副困惑的表情，头发已经灰白，乱蓬蓬的，好像从来不知该如何处理自己的问题。在这种背景下发现鄱凯特先生如此这般模样实在不算什么，不值得大惊小怪。
Chapter 23
MR POCKET said he was glad to see me, and he hoped I was not sorry to see him. `For, I really am not,' he added, with his son's smile, `an alarming personage.' He was a young-looking man, in spite of his perplexities and his very grey hair, and his manner seemed quite natural. I use the word natural, in the sense of its being unaffected; there was something comic in his distraught way, as though it would have been downright ludicrous but for his own perception that it was very near being so. When he had talked with me a little, he said to Mrs Pocket, with a rather anxious contraction of his eyebrows, which were black and handsome, `Belinda, I hope you have welcomed Mr Pip?' And she looked up from her book, and said, `Yes.' She then smiled upon me in an absent state of mind, and asked me if I liked the taste of orange-flower water? As the question had no bearing, near or remote, on any foregone or subsequent transaction, I consider it to have been thrown out, like her previous approaches, in general conversational condescension. 
I found out within a few hours, and may mention at once, that Mrs Pocket was the only daughter of a certain quite accidental deceased Knight, who had invented for himself a conviction that his deceased father would have been made a Baronet but for somebody's determined opposition arising out of entirely personal motives - I forget whose, if I ever knew - the Sovereign's, the Prime Minister's, the Lord Chancellor's, the Archbishop of Canterbury's, anybody's - and had tacked himself on to the nobles of the earth in right of this quite supposititious fact. I believe he had been knighted himself for storming the English grammar at the point of the pen, in a desperate address engrossed on vellum, on the occasion of the laying of the first stone of some building or other, and for handing some Royal Personage either the trowel or the mortar. Be that as it may, he had directed Mrs Pocket to be brought up from her cradle as one who in the nature of things must marry a title, and who was to be guarded from the acquisition of plebeian domestic knowledge.
So successful a watch and ward had been established over the young lady by this judicious parent, that she had grown up highly ornamental, but perfectly helpless and useless. With her character thus happily formed, in the first bloom of her youth she had encountered Mr Pocket: who was also in the first bloom of youth, and not quite decided whether to mount to the Woolsack, or to roof himself in with a mitre. As his doing the one or the other was a mere question of time, he and Mrs Pocket had taken Time by the forelock (when, to judge from its length, it would seem to have wanted cutting), and had married without the knowledge of the judicious parent. The judicious parent, having nothing to bestow or withhold but his blessing, had handsomely settled that dower upon them after a short struggle, and had informed Mr Pocket that his wife was `a treasure for a Prince.' Mr Pocket had invested the Prince's treasure in the ways of the world ever since, and it was supposed to have brought him in but indifferent interest. Still, Mrs Pocket was in general the object of a queer sort of respectful pity, because she had not married a title; while Mr Pocket was the object of a queer sort of forgiving reproach, because he had never got one.
Mr Pocket took me into the house and showed me my room: which was a pleasant one, and so furnished as that I could use it with comfort for my own private sitting-room. He then knocked at the doors of two other similar rooms, and introduced me to their occupants, by name Drummle and Startop. Drummle, an old-looking young man of a heavy order of architecture, was whistling. Startop, younger in years and appearance, was reading and holding his head, as if he thought himself in danger of exploding it with too strong a charge of knowledge.
Both Mr and Mrs Pocket had such a noticeable air of being in somebody else's hands, that I wondered who really was in possession of the house and let them live there, until I found this unknown power to be the servants. It was a smooth way of going on, perhaps, in respect of saving trouble; but it had the appearance of being expensive, for the servants felt it a duty they owed to themselves to be nice in their eating and drinking, and to keep a deal of company down stairs. They allowed a very liberal table to Mr and Mrs Pocket, yet it always appeared to me that by far the best part of the house to have boarded in, would have been the kitchen - always supposing the boarder capable of self-defence, for, before I had been there a week, a neighbouring lady with whom the family were personally unacquainted, wrote in to say that she had seen Millers slapping the baby. This greatly distressed Mrs Pocket, who burst into tears on receiving the note, and said that it was an extraordinary thing that the neighbours couldn't mind their own business.
By degrees I learnt, and chiefly from Herbert, that Mr Pocket had been educated at Harrow and at Cambridge, where he had distinguished himself; but that when he had had the happiness of marrying Mrs Pocket very early in life, he had impaired his prospects and taken up the calling of a Grinder. After grinding a number of dull blades - of whom it was remarkable that their fathers, when influential, were always going to help him to preferment, but always forgot to do it when the blades had left the Grindstone - he had wearied of that poor work and had come to London. Here, after gradually failing in loftier hopes, he had `read' with divers who had lacked opportunities or neglected them, and had refurbished divers others for special occasions, and had turned his acquirements to the account of literary compilation and correction, and on such means, added to some very moderate private resources, still maintained the house I saw.
Mr and Mrs Pocket had a toady neighbour; a widow lady of that highly sympathetic nature that she agreed with everybody, blessed everybody, and shed smiles and tears on everybody, according to circumstances. This lady's name was Mrs Coiler, and I had the honour of taking her down to dinner on the day of my installation. She gave me to understand on the stairs, that it was a blow to dear Mrs Pocket that dear Mr Pocket should be under the necessity of receiving gentlemen to read with him. That did not extend to me, she told me in a gush of love and confidence (at that time, I had known her something less than five minutes); if they were all like Me, it would be quite another thing.
`But dear Mrs Pocket,' said Mrs Coiler, `after her early disappointment (not that dear Mr Pocket was to blame in that), requires so much luxury and elegance--'
`Yes, ma'am,' I said, to stop her, for I was afraid she was going to cry.
`And she is of so aristocratic a disposition--'
`Yes, ma'am,' I said again, with the same object as before.
` - that it is hard,' said Mrs Coiler, `to have dear Mr Pocket's time and attention diverted from dear Mrs Pocket.'
I could not help thinking that it might be harder if the butcher's time and attention were diverted from dear Mrs Pocket; but I said nothing, and indeed had enough to do in keeping a bashful watch upon my company-manners.
It came to my knowledge, through what passed between Mrs Pocket and Drummle while I was attentive to my knife and fork, spoon, glasses, and other instruments of self-destruction, that Drummle, whose christian name was Bentley, was actually the next heir but one to a baronetcy. It further appeared that the book I had seen Mrs Pocket reading in the garden, was all about titles, and that she knew the exact date at which her grandpapa would have come into the book, if he ever had come at all. Drummle didn't say much, but in his limited way (he struck me as a sulky kind of fellow) he spoke as one of the elect, and recognized Mrs Pocket as a woman and a sister. No one but themselves and Mrs Coiler the toady neighbour showed any interest in this part of the conversation, and it appeared to me that it was painful to Herbert; but it promised to last a long time, when the page came in with the announcement of a domestic affliction. It was, in effect, that the cook had mislaid the beef. To my unutterable amazement, I now, for the first time, saw Mr Pocket relieve his mind by going through a performance that struck me as very extraordinary, but which made no impression on anybody else, and with which I soon became as familiar as the rest. He laid down the carving-knife and fork - being engaged in carving, at the moment - put his two hands into his disturbed hair, and appeared to make an extraordinary effort to lift himself up by it. When he had done this, and had not lifted himself up at all, he quietly went on with what he was about.
Mrs Coiler then changed the subject, and began to flatter me. I liked it for a few moments, but she flattered me so very grossly that the pleasure was soon over. She had a serpentine way of coming close at me when she pretended to be vitally interested in the friends and localities I had left, which was altogether snaky and fork-tongued; and when she made an occasional bounce upon Startop (who said very little to her), or upon Drummle (who said less), I rather envied them for being on the opposite side of the table.
After dinner the children were introduced, and Mrs Coiler made admiring comments on their eyes, noses, and legs - a sagacious way of improving their minds. There were four little girls, and two little boys, besides the baby who might have been either, and the baby's next successor who was as yet neither. They were brought in by Flopson and Millers, much as though those two noncommissioned officers had been recruiting somewhere for children and had enlisted these: while Mrs Pocket looked at the young Nobles that ought to have been, as if she rather thought she had had the pleasure of inspecting them before, but didn't quite know what to make of them.
`Here! Give me your fork, Mum, and take the baby,' said Flopson. `Don't take it that way, or you'll get its head under the table.'
Thus advised, Mrs Pocket took it the other way, and got its head upon the table; which was announced to all present by a prodigious concussion.
`Dear, dear! Give it me back, Mum,' said Flopson; `and Miss Jane, come and dance to baby, do!'
One of the little girls, a mere mite who seemed to have prematurely taken upon herself some charge of the others, stepped out of her place by me, and danced to and from the baby until it left off crying, and laughed. Then, all the children laughed, and Mr Pocket (who in the meantime had twice endeavoured to lift himself up by the hair) laughed, and we all laughed and were glad.
Flopson, by dint of doubling the baby at the joints like a Dutch doll, then got it safely into Mrs Pocket's lap, and gave it the nutcrackers to play with: at the same time recommending Mrs Pocket to take notice that the handles of that instrument were not likely to agree with its eyes, and sharply charging Miss Jane to look after the same. Then, the two nurses left the room, and had a lively scuffle on the staircase with a dissipated page who had waited at dinner, and who had clearly lost half his buttons at the gamingtable.
I was made very uneasy in my mind by Mrs Pocket's falling into a discussion with Drummle respecting two baronetcies, while she ate a sliced orange steeped in sugar and wine, and forgetting all about the baby on her lap: who did most appalling things with the nutcrackers. At length, little Jane perceiving its young brains to be imperilled, softly left her place, and with many small artifices coaxed the dangerous weapon away. Mrs Pocket finishing her orange at about the same time, and not approving of this, said to Jane:
`You naughty child, how dare you? Go and sit down this instant!'
`Mamma dear,' lisped the little girl, `baby ood have put hith eyeth out.'
`How dare you tell me so?' retorted Mrs Pocket. `Go and sit down in your chair this moment!'
Mrs Pocket's dignity was so crushing, that I felt quite abashed: as if I myself had done something to rouse it.
`Belinda,' remonstrated Mr Pocket, from the other end of the table, `how can you be so unreasonable? Jane only interfered for the protection of baby.'
`I will not allow anybody to interfere,' said Mrs Pocket. `I am surprised, Matthew, that you should expose me to the affront of interference.'
`Good God!' cried Mr Pocket, in an outbreak of desolate desperation. `Are infants to be nutcrackered into their tombs, and is nobody to save them?'
`I will not be interfered with by Jane,' said Mrs Pocket, with a majestic glance at that innocent little offender. `I hope I know my poor grandpapa's position. Jane, indeed!'
Mr Pocket got his hands in his hair again, and this time really did lift himself some inches out of his chair. `Hear this!' he helplessly exclaimed to the elements. `Babies are to be nutcrackered dead, for people's poor grandpapa's positions!' Then he let himself down again, and became silent.
We all looked awkwardly at the table-cloth while this was going on. A pause succeeded, during which the honest and irrepressible baby made a series of leaps and crows at little Jane, who appeared to me to be the only member of the family (irrespective of servants) with whom it had any decided acquaintance.
`Mr Drummle,' said Mrs Pocket, `will you ring for Flopson? Jane, you undutiful little thing, go and lie down. Now, baby darling, come with ma!'
The baby was the soul of honour, and protested with all its might. It doubled itself up the wrong way over Mrs Pocket's arm, exhibited a pair of knitted shoes and dimpled ankles to the company in lieu of its soft face, and was carried out in the highest state of mutiny. And it gained its point after all, for I saw it through the window within a few minutes, being nursed by little Jane.
It happened that the other five children were left behind at the dinner-table, through Flopson's having some private engagement, and their not being anybody else's business. I thus became aware of the mutual relations between them and Mr Pocket, which were exemplified in the following manner. Mr Pocket, with the normal perplexity of his face heightened and his hair rumpled, looked at them for some minutes, as if he couldn't make out how they came to be boarding and lodging in that establishment, and why they hadn't been billeted by Nature on somebody else. Then, in a distant, Missionary way he asked them certain questions - as why little Joe had that hole in his frill: who said, Pa, Flopson was going to mend it when she had time - and how little Fanny came by that whitlow: who said, Pa, Millers was going to poultice it when she didn't forget. Then, he melted into parental tenderness, and gave them a shilling apiece and told them to go and play; and then as they went out, with one very strong effort to lift himself up by the hair he dismissed the hopeless subject.
In the evening there was rowing on the river. As Drummle and Startop had each a boat, I resolved to set up mine, and to cut them both out. I was pretty good at most exercises in which countryboys are adepts, but, as I was conscious of wanting elegance of style for the Thames - not to say for other waters - I at once engaged to place myself under the tuition of the winner of a prizewherry who plied at our stairs, and to whom I was introduced by my new allies. This practical authority confused me very much, by saying I had the arm of a blacksmith. If he could have known how nearly the compliment lost him his pupil, I doubt if he would have paid it.
There was a supper-tray after we got home at night, and I think we should all have enjoyed ourselves, but for a rather disagreeable domestic occurrence. Mr Pocket was in good spirits, when a housemaid came in, and said, `If you please, sir, I should wish to speak to you.'
`Speak to your master?' said Mrs Pocket, whose dignity was roused again. `How can you think of such a thing? Go and speak to Flopson. Or speak to me - at some other time.'
`Begging your pardon, ma'am,' returned the housemaid, `I should wish to speak at once, and to speak to master.'
Hereupon, Mr Pocket went out of the room, and we made the best of ourselves until he came back.
`This is a pretty thing, Belinda!' said Mr Pocket, returning with a countenance expressive of grief and despair. `Here's the cook lying insensibly drunk on the kitchen floor, with a large bundle of fresh butter made up in the cupboard ready to sell for grease!'
Mrs Pocket instantly showed much amiable emotion, and said, `This is that odious Sophia's doing!'
`What do you mean, Belinda?' demanded Mr Pocket.
`Sophia has told you,' said Mrs Pocket. `Did I not see her with my own eyes and hear her with my own ears, come into the room just now and ask to speak to you?'
`But has she not taken me down stairs, Belinda,' returned Mr Pocket, `and shown me the woman, and the bundle too?'
`And do you defend her, Matthew,' said Mrs Pocket, `for making mischief?'
Mr Pocket uttered a dismal groan.
`Am I, grandpapa's granddaughter, to be nothing in the house?' said Mrs Pocket. `Besides, the cook has always been a very nice respectful woman, and said in the most natural manner when she came to look after the situation, that she felt I was born to be a Duchess.'
There was a sofa where Mr Pocket stood, and he dropped upon it in the attitude of the Dying Gladiator. Still in that attitude he said, with a hollow voice, `Good night, Mr Pip,' when I deemed it advisable to go to bed and leave him.
 
鄱凯特先生说他见到我很是高兴，希望我见到他不要感到失望。他脸上露出像他儿子一般的笑容，又补充说：“我本来就是一个不足为奇的人物。”尽管他脸上现出困惑的表情，而且头发也已灰白，可是细看他却是长得颇为年轻，而且态度又十分自然洒脱。我用自然洒脱这个词，是指无矫揉做作之处。他的行为举止显得神态恍惚、滑稽可笑，幸亏他自有领悟，知道自己的怪异之处，否则就更加荒唐可笑了。他和我攀谈了片刻，便带着不安的神态，抬起他乌黑漂亮的眉毛对他的夫人说道：“白琳达，你一定欢迎过皮普先生了吧？”她从书上抬起双眼，说道：“欢迎了。”然后微笑着看着我，有些神不守舍的样子，又问我是不是喜欢喝桔花水。她说的话和我们刚才以及后来所谈的内容都没有直接或间接的联系，她之所以如此这般脱口而出，无非是一种客套而已，早先她对我说的话也是如此。
在几个小时之内我便了解到（这里可以先提一下）鄱凯特夫人原来是一位已故自封爵士的独生女。他在世时有一个奇想，认为他已故的父亲本来应该被封为男爵，可是由于有人完全出自个人的私怨而把他否定了——即使当时我对详情了解得清楚，现在也说不清这个反对者究竟是谁了，无非是君主陛下，或者首相大人、大法官、坎特布雷大主教等这一类人物——于是他就从这一个假想的事实出发，把自己也加进了贵族行列。我认为他之所以自封为爵士，是因为有一次在某位王公大臣为某个建筑主持奠基典礼时，曾舞文弄墨地在羊皮纸上起草过一篇语法不通的演说词，在典礼上又为这位王公大臣递过泥刀和灰浆。虽然不过如此，但他竟要求鄱凯特夫人从婴儿开始便要培养成将来非高官显爵不嫁的小姐，而且指示不得让她知道平民的家庭生活常识。
这位年轻的小姐在她有见识的父亲的管教之下获得非常的成功，长得一表人才，十分出众，在处世方面一点用处也没有，什么也不懂。在养尊处优的情况下，她进入了豆蔻年华，而且遇到了鄱凯特先生。那时，他也正处于风华正茂，究竟将来是要爬上大法官的宝座，还是准备戴上大主教的桂冠，还没有拿定主意。不管怎样，不是大主教就是大法官，志向已定，只是时间问题。他和鄱凯特夫人相遇后，便不能等待，必须抓紧时机，因为爱情的丝一经连上，就难以切断。于是他们在她那卓有见识的父亲蒙在鼓里的情况下悄然结婚了。这位有见识的父亲骑虎难下，除了祝福之外，既没有什么可给，也没有什么可不给，在经历了一段内心斗争之后，就把祝福当作嫁妆赐给他们，并谆谆教导鄱凯特先生说，他的妻子是具有“王妃”价值的稀世之宝。自此以后，鄱凯特先生幻想让这位具有王妃价值的稀世之宝也懂些人间的妇人之道，但据说这位夫人对此道却很冷漠。不过，因为鄱凯特夫人没有嫁给王公大臣，人们对她的看法倒也奇妙，认为她值得尊敬的怜悯；又因为鄱凯特先生既没有攀上大法官宝座，又没有戴上大主教桂冠，所以人们对他的看法也同样奇妙，认为该是宽大的指责。
鄱凯特先生领着我走进屋子，把我的房间指给我看。这房间很不错，布置得相当适宜，即使当作我个人的会客室也是挺不错的。然后，他又敲开另外两间相似的房间，把我介绍给这两个房间中的住户。他们是德鲁莫尔和斯塔特普。德鲁莫尔看上去是一个生得比较苍老的年轻人，身体的框架很粗大，嘴里吹着口哨。斯塔特普无论在年岁上和外表上都显得年轻些，正用两手抱着脑袋在读书，好像他脑袋中的知识装得很满，唯恐要爆炸似的。
鄱凯特先生和鄱凯特夫人的态度一望而知，都是大权旁落之人。我不知道究竟是谁操纵着这幢屋子的大权，并且让他们住在这里，最后我才发现，这无形的大权竟落在仆人们的手里。也许为了减少麻烦，这倒是一条顺顺当当的道路，不过这样必然花销很大，因为仆人们会感到她们有义务让自己吃得好，喝得好，并且可以在楼下招待自己的宾客，这样才对得起自己。她们在饮食方面对鄱凯特先生和夫人侍候得很丰盛，不过我总有一个感觉，整座房子中最好最舒适的地方肯定是厨房，而且这些住在厨房里的人又有自卫的能力，想反对她们是万万不能的，下面的例子便可说明。我来这儿还不到一个星期，就有一位和这个家庭素无来往的邻居写了一封信来，说她亲眼看见米耐丝打过宝宝。这封信竟使得鄱凯特夫人大为伤心，大哭大叫地说，这真是一件奇怪透顶的事，一个邻居怎么管起他们家的事来。
我住下来之后，一点一滴地了解到（主要从赫伯特那里）鄱凯特先生毕业于哈罗中学，又在剑桥大学读过书，是才华卓越的学生。因为在他刚风华年少时便幸福地和鄱凯特夫人缔结美满婚姻，从另一方面说，也毁灭了他的远大前程，不得不成为一位补习先生，像在磨刀石上研磨钝刀一样教那些愚笨的学生。这些笨家伙的父亲们一开始便许下愿，以后要如何帮助他出山使他高升，可是等这些钝刀磨好后从磨刀石上拿走，他们对自己的诺言早已忘得一干二净。他对这种可怜的工作厌烦后便举家迁人伦敦住了一个阶段，等到他崇高的理想慢慢地销声匿迹以后，他又不得不重操“读书”旧业，教那些失掉机会读书或虚度少年时光的人，为那些因特殊情况需要学习的人补习功课，同时还在文学作品的编写及校勘方面发挥个人的天才，凭此所得，再加上他名下微薄的资产，才维持了我所见到的这一个家。
鄱凯特先生和夫人有一位马屁精邻居，是一位有高度同情心的寡妇，永远赞成每一个人，祝福每一个人，对每一个人微笑，对每一个人流泪，当然，她的同情心是随机而变的。这位妇人就是考埃勒夫人。我第一天来到这里时，曾荣幸地和她同桌用餐。走在楼梯上时她就指点我，说这位可爱的鄱凯特先生每一次必须收几个学生来读书时，便苦坏了鄱凯特夫人。她马上又流露出十分亲切的情感，非常真诚地对我说（虽然我认识她还不到五分钟），当然这不包括我，如果个个学生都像我一样，情况便可另当别论了。
“不过，”考埃勒夫人说道，“亲爱的鄱凯特夫人早年失意，当然这不能责怪鄱凯特先生，但现在按理说来是应该过得快活些，过得讲究的——”
“夫人，你说的很对。”我担心她会哭起来，所以连忙插言阻止她说下去。
“可是她的天性就是有贵族气派——”
“夫人，你说的很对。”我怀着和刚才同样的目的，又说了一句。
“亲爱的鄱凯特先生不能专心致志地侍候鄱凯特夫人，”考埃勒夫人说道，“那可是真太残酷了。”
听了她的话后我心中突然想到，要是肉店老板不专心致志地侍候鄱凯特夫人那才是残酷呢，不过我没有说出口。说实话，对待这些人都得见机行事，还是保持腼腆些为佳，以免贻笑大方。
吃饭时，我一面听鄱凯特夫人和德鲁莫尔之间的谈话，一面特别小心谨慎地使用刀、叉、匙、杯等等餐具，以免惹是生非。从谈话中得知德鲁莫尔的教名是本特莱，确确实实是一位准男爵的第二继承人。我又进一步了解到，鄱凯特夫人在花园中读的那本书是一本关于爵位的书，如果她的祖父也出现在那本书中，她肯定知道确切的时间。德鲁莫尔话说得不多，但在我们感觉中他是属于阴险的一类人，因为他虽然话不多，但一说话就显得高傲，同时把鄱凯特夫人视为名门贵妇。只有他们自己加上那位马屁精邻居考埃勒夫人才对这谈话有兴趣，我发现即使是赫伯特，脸上也现出痛苦的表情。幸亏有个小仆人进来说发生了一件很不幸的事情，否则他们的谈话还不知道要延长到什么时候。其实，也不是什么了不起的不幸事件，只不过是厨师想不起把牛肉放在什么地方了。使我大为惊奇的是，我第一次看到鄱凯特先生听到这个消息后的行为表现；虽然我感到非常奇怪，可别人的表情似乎都无动于衷，不久我也就和其他人一样，对此也不以为怪了。刚才他一听到这消息，就放下正在切牛肉的刀叉，用两只手抓住蓬松杂乱的头发，看上去要大大地发作一番，想把自己拎起来。他努力想拎起自己，结果徒然，于是渐渐地平静下来，又开始切起了牛肉。
考埃勒夫人一转她的话锋，开始对我拍起马屁来。最初，我听得挺高兴，但后来她的马屁拍得越来越大，我的高兴劲儿就全都消失了。她像舌头开叉的蛇一样游动到我面前，假装着要了解我家乡和亲友情况。间或她也游到对面和斯塔特普攀谈起来（不过他跟她说得极少），有时又去缠着德鲁莫尔（他也谈得不多）。我真羡慕这两位，因为他们坐在对面，不会像我这样受她许多的罪。
饭吃完后，孩子们都给带了进来，考埃勒夫人便运用她的赞词，称这一个眼睛美，那一个鼻子悄，还有一个腿生得漂亮——这倒是改进他们心智的好方法。孩子们中有四个女孩，两个男孩，那位宝宝究竟是男是女尚弄不清楚，至于下一个就更不得而知了。芙萝普莘和米耐丝把孩子们带进来，俨然似两名被派去招募孩子兵的现役军官，现在正带回销差。鄱凯特夫人看着这些本该是贵族的娃娃，好像早就应该对他们检阅观察一番，可问题在于她实在不知道该拿他们怎么办。
“这样，夫人，把你手中的叉子给我，抱住宝宝，”芙萝普莘说道，“不能这样抱，这样他的头会碰到桌子下面的。”
鄱凯特夫人接受了忠告之后，便换了抱宝宝的姿势，于是宝宝的头没有碰到桌子下面，却碰到了桌子上面，“砰”的一声，使所有在场的人都吓了一跳。
“天啦，天啦！夫人，还是我来吧！”芙萝普莘说道，“来，珍妮小姐，你跳个舞给宝宝看看，跳！”
珍妮是几个女孩中的一个，也小得可怜，不过她早就有了任务，要照顾其他几个小妹妹小弟弟。她本来站在我旁边，这时便走到宝宝面前跳来跳去，真的把宝宝跳得停止了哭声，而且笑了。于是，所有的孩子笑了，鄱凯特先生笑了（刚才他又陷入绝境似的两次用尽力气抓头发，企图把自己拎起来），我们大家也都笑了，而且欢快无比。
英萝普宰用手托住宝宝的屁股，把它摆成个荷兰洋娃娃的样子，十分小心地放在鄱凯特夫人的膝上，又拿了个胡桃钳子给宝宝玩，并且告诉鄱凯特夫人要看好，不要让胡桃钳子的栖戳到宝宝眼睛，那可不是儿戏，然后又尖声对珍妮小姐说，要她也照管好宝宝。说毕，两位保姆离开房间，到了楼梯口就和那位刚才在这里侍候大家用膳的小仆人扭打起来。这个小仆人是个放荡不羁的人，显而易见在赌桌前输了钱。
鄱凯特夫人一味地沉浸在和德鲁莫尔讨论两个准男爵爵位的谈话中，同时在吃着糖酒浸桔片，早就忘掉了在她膝上的小宝宝，任他吓人地挥舞着胡桃钳子。我看到这种情况，心头真感不安。最后还是小珍妮看到宝宝的脑袋随时都有危险，便轻手轻脚地走过去，做了许多小动作，才哄骗着把这根危险的武器拿走。这时，鄱凯特夫人已吃完了桔片，见此很不以为是地对珍妮说道：
“你这顽皮的孩子，竟敢如此大胆？快回到你座位上去。”
“亲爱的妈妈，”小姑娘大着舌头说，“宝宝差点把眼珠子挖出来。”
“你怎么敢对我这么说话！”鄱特夫人骂道，“还不坐到你自己的椅子上！”
想不到鄱凯特夫人竟有如此的尊严，带有不可一世的压制性，使我都为她感到羞愧。我倒好像成了这一事件的肇事者，内心感到惴惴不安起来。
“白琳达，”鄱凯特先生在桌子的另一头劝告道，“这是你没有理，珍妮不过是为了宝宝不受伤害。”
“我不允许任何人来管我，”鄱凯特夫人反驳道，“马休，我真感到奇怪，你竟然当众说我不是。”
“我的老天啊！”鄱凯特先生感到一阵无可奈何的难过，大声说道，“难道眼睁睁让宝宝玩胡桃钳子送命，也不允许别人来救他吗？”
“我总不能让珍妮来干预我的事，”鄱凯特夫人反驳道，“我还记得我那已故祖父的地位。珍妮，哼！”她用庄严的目光扫了一眼这个无辜的小犯人。
鄱凯特先生又用双手抓住自己的头发，这次当真把自己从椅子上拎起了几英寸。“只要为了人家已故祖父的地位，就可以让宝宝们全都死在胡桃钳下。听听这是什么话！”他无可奈何地高声叹息着，然后便停下来，再不言语，保持沉默。
争吵进行时，我们大家都尴尬地望着桌布。一会儿争吵停息了，那个不懂虚假而又不受管束的宝宝却对着小珍妮跳跳蹦蹦、吵吵闹闹了好一会儿。我想，在这个家庭之中，不算保姆在内，她是这个小宝宝唯一认识的人了。
鄱凯特夫人说道：“德鲁莫尔先生，你拉一下铃把芙萝普莘叫来。珍妮，你这个不孝顺的讨债鬼，快到床上去睡觉。噢，宝宝乖乖，让妈抱你去睡吧。”
婴儿是不懂虚假、天真无邪的。他尽全身力气反抗着，在妈妈怀里乱蹿乱跳，结果蹿错了地方，小脸蛋儿看不见了，反而露出穿了一双绒线鞋的脚和两只生着小圆窝儿的脚踝。然而，无论他怎么叛逆，还是被带进了房。后来，小宝宝的反抗总算成功，因为几分钟后我从窗户看进去，珍妮已经在照顾他了。
另外五个孩子都没有地方去，留在了餐桌旁边，因为芙萝普莘正忙着她自己的私事，又没有别的人来照顾他们。通过观察，我这才知道鄱凯特先生和孩子们之间关系的一二，不妨下面举几个例子就可以了解其大概。这时鄱凯特先生脸上的神情比刚才更加迷惘了，他头发乱七八糟，愣愣地望了孩子们好一会儿，仿佛他弄不清楚为什么他们会住在这个家庭之中，为什么上天不把他们一一分配到别的家庭中去。然后，他用冷淡疏远的传教士般的语气向他们问这问那——比如问问小乔的衣服褶边上为什么有个洞，小乔说：“爸，芙萝普莘说她一有时间就会把它补好”；再问问小芬妮为什么生了甲沟炎，她说：“爸，米耐丝说，只要她想起来就会给我上药”。然后，他天良发现，表现出一分父亲的温柔，给他们每人一个先令，叫他们出去玩耍。接着他们都跑了出去，而他却竭尽全力用双手抓住头发把自己拎起来，然后那些无法解决的疑问又在他心中消失了。
晚上这里的河上可以划船。德鲁莫尔和斯塔特普各租了一条船，我也决定驾驶一条小船，而且要赶过他们。说老实话，只要乡下孩子会玩的东西我全都在行。当然，我也意识到在泰晤士河上划船，我那种划船的样子是不够风度的，而在其他河上划船就不存在这问题。当时，在我们下水的台阶旁有一位得过划船比赛奖的船夫在招呼生意，于是我的新伙伴便介绍我向他学划船。这位有着实际划船经验的权威一开始就弄得我很狼狈，因为他一见到我便说我天生有一副打铁的胳膊。如果他有先见之明，知道这种客套话会失去一个徒弟，我想他是不会说出这话的。
晚上我们回来后每人吃了一盘晚餐，我想要是家中没有发生一件不愉快的事情，我们一定会过得十分高兴的。当时鄱凯特先生正兴高采烈，一位女佣人走了进来对他说道：“老爷，如果你高兴的话，我有些话要和你说。”
“你要和老爷说话？”鄱凯特夫人感到自己的尊严大受损伤，说道，“你真想得出来！有事去找芙萝普莘讲，要么改个时间和我讲。”
“对不起，夫人，”这位女佣人说道，“我希望现在就说，而且要对老爷说。”
于是鄱凯特先生便走出房间，而我们在等他回来时便尽量找些事情打发时间。
“白琳达，你看这还成什么体统！”鄱凯特先生一脸的忧愁和失望，走回来说道，“女厨喝得酩酊大醉，不省人事地躺在厨房的地上，橱子里还藏着一大块新鲜黄油，准备拿出去卖掉。”
鄱凯特夫人立刻表现出非常温和的神情，说道：“肯定是那个臭索菲娅干的好事！”
“白琳达，你说的是什么意思？”鄱凯特先生问道。
“索菲娅已经把事情告诉你了，”鄱凯特夫人说道，“刚才我不是看到她走进房里一定要和你说话？这全是我亲眼所见的啊，这也是我亲耳所听到的啊。”
“白琳达，刚才她是把我带到楼下去，”鄱凯特先生答道，“把那个女厨子和那块黄油指给我看。”
鄱凯特夫人抢白道：“马休，我看你在为她做的坏事辩护。”
鄱凯特先生只有发出一声郁郁不乐的叹息。
“我这个亲祖父的亲孙女儿，难道在这个家里全无讲话的余地吗？”鄱凯特夫人说道，“再说，这女厨子一直是一位很值得尊敬的女人，她以最真诚的态度对我说过，她感到我天生就是公爵夫人。这还是她刚刚来这里时对我讲的。”
鄱凯特先生正站在一张沙发旁边，一听这话，就好像一位将死的格斗士，跌倒在沙发上。我想我最好还是告别去就寝，于是他又用将死的格斗士的声音对我说道：“晚安，皮普先生。”那声音空洞沙哑。
Chapter 24
AFTER two or three days, when I had established myself in my room and had gone backwards and forwards to London several times, and had ordered all I wanted of my tradesmen, Mr Pocket and I had a long talk together. He knew more of my intended career than I knew myself, for the referred to his having been told by Mr Jaggers that I was not designed for any profession, and that I should be well enough educated for my destiny if I could `hold my own' with the average of young men in prosperous circumstances. I acquiesced, of course, knowing nothing to the contrary. 
He advised my attending certain places in London, for the acquisition of such mere rudiments as I wanted, and my investing him with the functions of explainer and director of all my studies. He hoped that with intelligent assistance I should meet with little to discourage me, and should soon be able to dispense with any aid but his. Through his way of saying this, and much more to similar purpose, he placed himself on confidential terms with me in an admirable manner; and I may state at once that he was always so zealous and honourable in fulfilling his compact with me, that he made me zealous and honourable in fulfilling mine with him. If he had shown indifference as a master, I have no doubt I should have returned the compliment as a pupil; he gave me no such excuse, and each of us did the other justice. Nor, did I ever regard him as having anything ludicrous about him - or anything but what was serious, honest, and good - in his tutor communication with me.
When these points were settled, and so far carried out as that I had begun to work in earnest, it occurred to me that if I could retain my bedroom in Barnard's Inn, my life would be agreeably varied, while my manners would be none the worse for Herbert's society. Mr Pocket did not object to this arrangement, but urged that before any step could possibly be taken in it, it must be submitted to my guardian. I felt that this delicacy arose out of the consideration that the plan would save Herbert some expense, so I went off to Little Britain and imparted my wish to Mr Jaggers.
`If I could buy the furniture now hired for me,' said I, `and one or two other little things, I should be quite at home there.'
`Go it!' said Mr Jaggers, with a short laugh. `I told you you'd get on. Well! How much do you want?'
I said I didn't know how much.
`Come!' retorted Mr Jaggers. `How much? Fifty pounds?'
`Oh, not nearly so much.'
`Five pounds?' said Mr Jaggers.
This was such a great fall, that I said in discomfiture, `Oh! more than that.'
`More than that, eh!' retorted Mr Jaggers, lying in wait for me, with his hands in his pockets, his head on one side, and his eyes on the wall behind me; `how much more?'
`It is so difficult to fix a sum,' said I, hesitating.
`Come!' said Mr Jaggers. `Let's get at it. Twice five; will that do? Three times five; will that do? Four times five; will that do?'
I said I thought that would do handsomely.
`Four times five will do handsomely, will it?' said Mr Jaggers, knitting his brows. `Now, what do you make of four times five?'
`What do I make of it?'
`Ah!' said Mr Jaggers; `how much?'
`I suppose you make it twenty pounds,' said I, smiling.
`Never mind what I make it, my friend,' observed Mr Jaggers, with a knowing and contradictory toss of his head. `I want to know what you make it.'
`Twenty pounds, of course.'
`Wemmick!' said Mr Jaggers, opening his office door. `Take Mr Pip's written order, and pay him twenty pounds.'
This strongly marked way of doing business made a strongly marked impression on me, and that not of an agreeable kind. Mr Jaggers never laughed; but he wore great bright creaking boots, and, in poising himself on these boots, with his large head bent down and his eyebrows joined together, awaiting an answer, he sometimes caused the boots to creak, as if they laughed in a dry and suspicious way. As he happened to go out now, and as Wemmick was brisk and talkative, I said to Wemmick that I hardly knew what to make of Mr Jaggers's manner.
`Tell him that, and he'll take it as a compliment,' answered Wemmick; `he don't mean that you should know what to make of it. - Oh!' for I looked surprised, `it's not personal; it's professional: only professional.'
Wemmick was at his desk, lunching - and crunching - on a dry hard biscuit; pieces of which he threw from time to time into his slit of a mouth, as if he were posting them.
`Always seems to me,' said Wemmick, `as if he had set a mantrap and was watching it. Suddenly - click - you're caught!'
Without remarking that man-traps were not among the amenities of life, I said I supposed he was very skilful?
`Deep,' said Wemmick, `as Australia.' Pointing with his pen at the office floor, to express that Australia was understood, for the purposes of the figure, to be symmetrically on the opposite spot of the globe. `If there was anything deeper,' added Wemmick, bringing his pen to paper, `he'd be it.'
Then, I said I supposed he had a fine business, and Wemmick said, `Ca-pi-tal!' Then I asked if there were many clerks? to which he replied:
`We don't run much into clerks, because there's only one Jaggers, and people won't have him at second-hand. There are only four of us. Would you like to see 'em? You are one of us, as I may say.'
I accepted the offer. When Mr Wemmick had put all the biscuit into the post, and had paid me my money from a cash-box in a safe, the key of which safe he kept somewhere down his back and produced from his coat-collar like an iron pigtail, we went up-stairs. The house was dark and shabby, and the greasy shoulders that had left their mark in Mr Jaggers's room, seemed to have been shuffling up and down the staircase for years. In the front first floor, a clerk who looked something between a publican and a rat-catcher - a large pale puffed swollen man - was attentively engaged with three or four people of shabby appearance, whom he treated as unceremoniously as everybody seemed to be treated who contributed to Mr Jaggers's coffers. `Getting evidence together,' said Mr Wemmick, as we came out, `for the Bailey.' In the room over that, a little flabby terrier of a clerk with dangling hair (his cropping seemed to have been forgotten when he was a puppy) was similarly engaged with a man with weak eyes, whom Mr Wemmick presented to me as a smelter who kept his pot always boiling, and who would melt me anything I pleased - and who was in an excessive white-perspiration, as if he had been trying his art on himself. In a back room, a high-shouldered man with a faceache tied up in dirty flannel, who was dressed in old black clothes that bore the appearance of having been waxed, was stooping over his work of making fair copies of the notes of the other two gentlemen, for Mr Jaggers's own use.
This was all the establishment. When we went down-stairs again, Wemmick led me into my guardian's room, and said, `This you've seen already.'
`Pray,' said I, as the two odious casts with the twitchy leer upon them caught my sight again, `whose likenesses are those?'
`These?' said Wemmick, getting upon a chair, and blowing the dust off the horrible heads before bringing them down. `These are two celebrated ones. Famous clients of ours that got us a world of credit. This chap (why you must have come down in the night and been peeping into the inkstand, to get this blot upon your eyebrow, you old rascal!) murdered his master, and, considering that he wasn't brought up to evidence, didn't plan it badly.'
`Is it like him?' I asked, recoiling from the brute, as Wemmick spat upon his eyebrow and gave it a rub with his sleeve.
`Like him? It's himself, you know. The cast was made in Newgate, directly after he was taken down. You had a particular fancy for me, hadn't you, Old Artful?' said Wemmick. He then explained this affectionate apostrophe, by touching his brooch representing the lady and the weeping willow at the tomb with the urn upon it, and saying, `Had it made for me, express!'
`Is the lady anybody?' said I.
`No,' returned Wemmick. `Only his game. (You liked your bit of game, didn't you?) No; deuce a bit of a lady in the case, Mr Pip, except one - and she wasn't of this slender ladylike sort, and you wouldn't have caught her looking after this urn - unless there was something to drink in it.' Wemmick's attention being thus directed to his brooch, he put down the cast, and polished the brooch with his pocket-handkerchief.
`Did that other creature come to the same end?' I asked. `He has the same look.'
`You're right,' said Wemmick; `it's the genuine look. Much as if one nostril was caught up with a horsehair and a little fish-hook. Yes, he came to the same end; quite the natural end here, I assure you. He forged wills, this blade did, if he didn't also put the supposed testators to sleep too. You were a gentlemanly Cove, though' (Mr Wemmick was again apostrophizing), `and you said you could write Greek. Yah, Bounceable! What a liar you were!I never met such a liar as you!' Before putting his late friend on his shelf again, Wemmick touched the largest of his mourning rings and said, `Sent out to buy it for me, only the day before.'
While he was putting up the other cast and coming down from the chair, the thought crossed my mind that all his personal jewellery was derived from like sources. As he had shown no diffidence on the subject, I ventured on the liberty of asking him the question, when he stood before me, dusting his hands.
`Oh yes,' he returned, `these are all gifts of that kind. One brings another, you see; that's the way of it. I always take 'em. They're curiosities. And they're property. They may not be worth much, but, after all, they're property and portable. It don't signify to you with your brilliant look-out, but as to myself, my guidingstar always is, "Get hold of portable property".'
When I had rendered homage to this light, he went on to say, in a friendly manner:
`If at any odd time when you have nothing better to do, you wouldn't mind coming over to see me at Walworth, I could offer you a bed, and I should consider it an honour. I have not much to show you; but such two or three curiosities as I have got, you might like to look over; and I am fond of a bit of garden and a summer-house.'
I said I should be delighted to accept his hospitality.
`Thankee,' said he; `then we'll consider that it's to come off, when convenient to you. Have you dined with Mr Jaggers yet?'
`Not yet.'
`Well,' said Wemmick, `he'll give you wine, and good wine. I'll give you punch, and not bad punch. and now I'll tell you something. When you go to dine with Mr Jaggers, look at his housekeeper.'
`Shall I see something very uncommon?'
`Well,' said Wemmick, `you'll see a wild beast tamed. Not so very uncommon, you'll tell me. I reply, that depends on the original wildness of the beast, and the amount of taming. It won't lower your opinion of Mr Jaggers's powers. Keep your eye on it.'
I told him I would do so, with all the interest and curiosity that his preparation awakened. As I was taking my departure, he asked me if I would like to devote five minutes to seeing Mr Jaggers `at it?'
For several reasons, and not least because I didn't clearly know what Mr Jaggers would be found to be `at,' I replied in the affirmative. We dived into the City, and came up in a crowded policecourt, where a blood-relation (in the murderous sense) of the deceased with the fanciful taste in brooches, was standing at the bar, uncomfortably chewing something; while my guardian had a woman under examination or cross-examination - I don't know which - and was striking her, and the bench, and everybody present, with awe. If anybody, of whatsoever degree, said a word that he didn't approve of, he instantly required to have it `taken down.' If anybody wouldn't make an admission, he said, `I'll have it out of you!' and if anybody made an admission, he said, `Now I have got you!' the magistrates shivered under a single bite of his finger. Thieves and thieftakers hung in dread rapture on his words, and shrank when a hair of his eyebrows turned in their direction. Which side he was on, I couldn't make out, for he seemed to me to be grinding the whole place in a mill; I only know that when I stole out on tiptoe, he was not on the side of the bench; for, he was making the legs of the old gentleman who presided, quite convulsive under the table, by his denunciations of his conduct as the representative of British law and justice in that chair that day.
 
两三天之后，我已把自己的房间安置停当。我来来回回到伦敦市内去过几次，所需要的东西已向各有关商行订购，也都已经送来了。鄱凯特先生和我已作过一次长谈。他对于我未来的前途比我自己还清楚，他说贾格斯先生已经告诉他我的情况，所以我的学习不是为了寻求工作，而是接受教育，其教育的良好程度要和有钱人家子弟的一般情况差不多，以和我未来的命运相称。自然，对于这些我没有反对意见，也就是默认了。
他建议我先到伦敦几处地方去跑跑，可以获得一些我所缺乏的基本知识。现在他已受权在所有的功课方面对我进行讲解、指导。他希望他能够明智地帮助我，使我不至于遇到麻烦的问题。他相信要不了多久，我就完全可以由他一人指导学习了。说了这些之后，他又说了不少类似的话。他对我开门见山，以诚相待，措辞美妙，我立刻也向他表达了我的思想。既然他在履行合同时对我那么热情认真、诚实可靠，自然我在履行和他所定的合同时也会同样热情认真、诚实可靠。如果作为老师他对我表示冷漠，无疑作为学生，我也会运用冷漠回敬老师；他既然并未给我以口实，两人相互之间自也是各不相负。在教与学的过程之中，我感到在他身上没有一点荒唐可笑的地方，他给我的感觉是那么严肃认真、诚实可靠。慈祥善良。
有关学习方面的问题达成协议后，我便开始努力并付诸于实现。我又想到，假使我能在巴纳德旅馆保留一个房间，我的生活便会更加丰富多彩，再说，和赫伯特住在一起，在待人接物方面也会有所长进。鄱凯特先生并不反对这种安排，但他告诫我，在做任何事之前，都必须去请示一下我的监护人。我感到他考虑得十分周到，因为实现了这个计划也可为赫伯特节省点开支，于是我到了小不列颠街，把我的想法告诉贾格斯先生。
“假使我能够把租的一套家具买下来，”我对他说道，“再买上一两件别的小东西，我住在那里会是够舒服的了。”
“去买！”贾格斯先生不高兴地笑了一声，“我早就告诉过你，你的费用会大起来的。现在怎么样，你要多少钱？”
我说我不知道要多少钱。
“说吧！”贾格斯先生紧逼道，“要多少？五十镑行吗？”
“哦，用不着那么多。”
“五镑怎么样？”贾格斯先生说道。
这真是从天上掉到了地下，我被弄得狼狈不堪。“哦，要比五镑多些！”我只得说道。
“比五镑多些，嗯！”贾格斯先生说道，在等我回答。他两手插在口袋中，头歪向一边，眼睛望着我背后的墙。“你究竟要多少？”
“很难确准一个数字。”我感到踌躇地说道。
“得了，得了！”贾格斯先生说道，“让我们来算一下，两个五镑行不行？三个五镑行不行？四个五镑行不行？”
我说我想这个数目是足够了。
“四个五镑足够了，是不是？”贾格斯先生皱起眉头说道，“那么，你说四个五镑究竟是多少？”
“要我算一下？”
“嗯！”贾格斯先生说道，“你说是多少？”
“我想你算出来是二十镑吧。”我笑着对他说道。
“你不必问我计算出来是多少，我的朋友，”贾格斯先生带着洞察一切的神情，但不赞成地昂起了头说道，“我所要知道的是你计算出来的是多少。”
“自然是二十镑了。”
“温米克！”贾格斯先生打开办公室的门，说道，“让皮普先生写一张收据，付给他二十镑。”
这种特别的处理事务的方式给我留下了特别的印象，这种印象无论如何是不令人愉快的。贾格斯先生从来没有笑容，但是，他穿了一双又大又亮又吱吱嘎嘎的皮靴。在他犹豫不决地踏着靴子站在那里，歪着他的大头，眉毛皱得快靠拢起来地等待着别人的回答时，会不时地踏一下靴子，发出吱嘎声，仿佛代替了他那种怀疑而又冷漠的笑。正巧他现在出去了，而温米克倒显得很活跃、很健谈，于是我对温米克说，要想弄清贾格斯先生的态度是很难的。
“你要告诉他数字，他觉得这才符合手续，”温米克答道，“他不是一定要你算——唔，我明白了！”他发现我面露不解，于是说道，“这不是他的个性如此，这是职业习惯，仅仅是职业习惯而已。”
温米克坐在桌边吃他的午餐，咬得又干又硬的饼于嘎喳嘎喳响。他把一片一片的饼干不断地丢进他张开的细长嘴巴，就像把一封一封信丢进邮筒一样。
“我永远有种感觉，”温米克说道，“他设计了一个捕人的机关，然后站在一旁监视着，只要你稍一疏忽，咔哒一声，你就被捉住了。”
我心里认为设置捕人的陷阱是不符合处世人情的，不过我没有挑明，只说贾格斯先生怕是个很精明的人。
温米克说道：“像澳大利亚那般深奥。”他用笔指着办公室的地板来示意澳大利亚是可以理解的，因为这是一个比喻，相对地说澳大利亚正在地球的对面。“如果说还有什么东西比澳大利亚更加深奥，”温米克把笔放到纸上，补充说道，“那就是他。”
然后我又说，我想贾格斯先生的生意一定干得挺好。温米克说：“很——不——错！”我又问他这里有许多办事员吗？对这个问题，他的回答是：
“这里不需要许多办事人员，因为只有一个贾格斯先生，人们又不愿意通过间接方式和他打交道。我们一共有四个人，你要不要见见他们？你现在其实也不是外人了。”
我接受了他的盛情之邀。于是，他从衣领里掏出一根钢铁辫子似的东西，这就是收在他背上的保险箱钥匙。他用这钥匙打开了现金保险箱，从里面取出钱并交给我。这时他已经把所有的饼干一起塞进他那个邮筒似的嘴巴里，便和我一道上楼。房屋中很黑暗，又很破烂，那些在贾格斯先生房间中留下油腻腻的肩膀印的人，看来拖着缓慢的脚步在这里上上下下楼梯也有多年了，因为墙壁已被掠得油亮。二楼前部办公室里的办事员，看上去有点像酒店老板，又有些像捕鼠的人，身体长得大大的，面色苍白，而且有些浮肿。这时他正专心一致地接待着三四位外表很不体面的人，从态度上看，他对待他们很不礼貌，事实上每一位来到这里对贾格斯先生的钱柜有所贡献的人受到的都是这种待遇。温米克先生说：“他在为伦敦中央刑事法庭搜集证据。”我们走了出来。在上面一间办公室中的办事员是个小个儿，毫无生气，行动起来像一只狗，披着头发，大概在他还是小狗的时候就忘记了把毛剪短。他这时也正接待着一个人，这人的视力很差。温米克先生对我说，这个人是一个铸造假币的，他那个熔化金属的小坩锅一年到头都是烧得滚滚的，我随便有什么东西要他帮忙熔化铸造，他都会乐意的。这时，那人身上白色的汗珠正如雨下，仿佛他正在自己身上一试那熔化的高超技艺。里间办公室里有一个高耸双肩的人，可能由于面部神经痛，在脸上扎了一块肮脏的法兰绒布，穿了一件又旧又黑的衣服，看上去像涂了一层蜡，正弯腰驼背地抄写另外两位办事员先生起草的文件，都是为贾格斯先生准备的。
以上是整个律师事务所内的情况。我们又下了楼，温米克把我领到我监护人的办公室，说：“这一间你已经看过了。”
这时我看到那两个令人憎恶的头像，好像射出了凶狠的眼光。我问他：“请问一下这两个头像是谁？”
“这两个头像吗？”温米克说着便爬上椅子，先把可怕头像头上的灰拂去，然后取了下来，说道，“这是两位了不起的人物。他们是两位著名的客户，曾给我们带来极大的荣誉。这一个嘛，怎么啦？你这个老流氓，你一定在夜里偷偷下来，把头探进墨水瓶里，让墨水染上了眉毛！这个家伙谋害了他的主人，一切阴谋安排妥当，连被害尸身也没有找到。”
“这头像像他本人吗？”我问道。一听原来这是个残无人道者的头像，我吓得向后退去，而温米克却吐了一口唾沫在头像的眉毛上，又用袖口把它擦干净。
“像他吗？你知道，这就是他！这个头像是在新门监狱铸造而成的，是在他刚绞死后取的模型。喂，你这个老滑头，你对我特别有好感是不是？”温米克这般说着，一面用手摸摸自己的那枚胸针，胸针上有一位妇女的像，还有垂柳、坟墓以及墓旁的骨灰瓶，算是解释了他那种具有情感色彩的称呼，“你还为我定做了这枚胸针是不是？”
“这女人是什么人吗？”我问道。
“不是什么人，”温米克答道，“只不过是他玩的一个小花样。你不是也喜欢弄些小花样吗，是不是？这和女人没有关系，皮普先生，如果说和某个女人有关系，除非一个，不过她不像这上面的女人那么苗条，你看她也不会专门照看这个骨灰瓶，除非里面装的是美酒。”这时温米克的注意力转向了他的胸针。他把头像放了下来，掏出手帕擦亮这枚胸针。
“另一个人的结果也是这样的下场么？”我问道，“他也有相同的神情呢。”
“你说的一点不假，”温米克说道，“这是真面目。看这鼻孔里多像塞着一根马鬃和一只小鱼钩。他的确也是同样的命运；我敢说，在我们这儿有这种下场的人是不出奇的。这个人是一个花花公子，他假造遗嘱，那些被假立遗嘱的人怕也会给他弄得个长眠不醒呢！”接着温米克先生又对着头像说了起来： “噢，你这个绅士般的家伙，你说你会用希腊文写文章，你这个吹牛大王！你多么会撒谎啊！我从来没有遇到过像你这么会吹牛说谎的人！”温米克这时摸了摸他那只最大的悼念亡人的戒指，说道：“你在临死前一天还叫人买了这个东西来送给我。”然后他把这位昔日故友的头像又放回到架子上的原处。
他把另一个头像也放还原处后从椅子上爬下来。有一个疑问盘旋于我的内心，他那些私人珍宝都是这么得来的吗？当他站在我面前拍着两手的灰尘时，我想既然他并不因此而感到惭愧，我也就大着胆子向他提出了问题。
“噢，确确实实，”他答道，“这些全都是这一类的礼物。一个接一个地送给我，你看，事情就这样。既送之，则收之。这些东西不都很有意思吗，都是财产。也许价值不大，但毕竟是财产，而且是可携带的财产。对于你这个有远大前程的人来讲也许算不了什么，但是对于我来说，我的为人之道永远是，多捞财产，来者不拒。”
对他的见识我表示敬重，他便也以友好的态度继续讲下去：
“一旦你有空，而且没有别的事可做时，如不在意，不妨到伍尔华斯我家中来玩玩，还可在我家过夜，这对我来说是一种荣幸。我没有什么让你欣赏，但也有两三件古董，也许你乐意看一下。我有一座小花园，还有一座凉亭，我是很喜欢的。”
我说我非常高兴接受他的盛情邀请。
“多谢，”他说道，“那么我们就这样决定了，什么时候你感到方便，就请过来。贾格斯先生和你吃过饭没有？”
“还没有呢。”
“好吧，”温米克说道，“他会请你喝葡萄酒的，是上等葡萄酒。我就请你喝混合葡萄酒，当然不是劣等的。现在我有件事要告诉你，你什么时候到贾格斯先生家去吃饭，留意一下他的那位管家妇。”
“我会看到什么不寻常的事吗？”
“是这样，”温米克说道，“你会看到一头被驯服了的野兽。也许你会说，这不是什么不寻常的事，不过我的回答是，一切要以原有的野蛮程度，以及驯化所需花费的时间精力为衡量标准，然后你就会了解贾格斯先生的能力了。你得留神观察。”
我告诉他我会留神观察的，因为他的忠告，唤起了我内心的兴趣和好奇。我正向他道别时，他问我有否兴趣再花五分钟去看看贾格斯先生“办公”？
由于各种原因，至少由于我不十分了解贾格斯先生究竟在办什么公，所以我的回答是肯定的。我们赶进城，来到一处相当拥挤的违警罪法庭，见到一位生前对胸针特别稀奇的死者的血亲正在法庭上听候审理（当然这里的血亲是指在杀人流血方面关系密切之人），嘴里在不舒服地咀嚼着什么东西。这时我的监护人正在审问一位妇女，或者说在盘问她——我不知道该用什么词更好——这就使得这女人、法官老爷们、以及每一个在场的人都诚惶诚恐。如果有人，不管他的级别地位有多高，只要说一句贾格斯听不顺耳的话，他便立刻要人把话“记下来”。如果有人不认罪他便说：“我自有方法从他身上挖出供词！”如果有人认罪，他又会说：“看，我已经把你供词挖出来了！”他只要一咬手指，那些司法官们便吓得发抖。无论是做贼的，还是捉贼的都在恐怖中专心地听他的每一个词，只要他的一根眼睫毛对着他们的方向动了一下，他们便会心惊肉跳。我这位监护人究竟在为谁说话，我无法弄清；在我看来，他在这里折磨着所有的人。我只知道，在我跪着脚出来时，他不是在为法官们讲话，因为他指责当时正在主持审问的一位老法官，说他的行为表明他不能代表不列颠的法律坐在主审席上，使得老法官在审判桌下的双腿直抖。
Chapter 25
BENTLEY DRUMMLE, who was so sulky a fellow that he even took up a book as if its writer had done him an injury, did not take up an acquaintance in a more agreeable spirit. Heavy in figure, movement, and comprehension - in the sluggish complexion of his face, and in the large awkward tongue that seemed to loll about in his mouth as he himself lolled about in a room - he was idle, proud, niggardly, reserved, and suspicious. He came of rich people down in Somersetshire, who had nursed this combination of qualities until they made the discovery that it was just of age and a blockhead. Thus, Bentley Drummle had come to Mr Pocket when he was a head taller than that gentleman, and half a dozen heads thicker than most gentlemen. 
Startop had been spoilt by a weak mother and kept at home when he ought to have been at school, but he was devotedly attached to her, and admired her beyond measure. He had a woman's delicacy of feature, and was - `as you may see, though you never saw her,' said Herbert to me - exactly like his mother. It was but natural that I should take to him much more kindly than to Drummle, and that, even in the earliest evenings of our boating, he and I should pull homeward abreast of one another, conversing from boat to boat, while Bentley Drummle came up in our wake alone, under the overhanging banks and among the rushes. He would always creep in-shore like some uncomfortable amphibious creature, even when the tide would have sent him fast upon his way; and I always think of him as coming after us in the dark or by the back-water, when our own two boats were breaking the sunset or the moonlight in mid-stream.
Herbert was my intimate companion and friend. I presented him with a half-share in my boat, which was the occasion of his often coming down to Hammersmith; and my possession of a halfshare in his chambers often took me up to London. We used to walk between the two places at all hours. I have an affection for the road yet (though it is not so pleasant a road as it was then), formed in the impressibility of untried youth and hope.
When I had been in Mr Pocket's family a month or two, Mr and Mrs Camilla turned up. Camilla was Mr Pocket's sister. Georgiana, whom I had seen at Miss Havisham's on the same occasion, also turned up. she was a cousin - an indigestive single woman, who called her rigidity religion, and her liver love. These people hated me with the hatred of cupidity and disappointment. As a matter of course, they fawned upon me in my prosperity with the basest meanness. Towards Mr Pocket, as a grown-up infant with no notion of his own interests, they showed the complacent forbearance I had heard them express. Mrs Pocket they held in contempt; but they allowed the poor soul to have been heavily disappointed in life, because that shed a feeble reflected light upon themselves.
These were the surroundings among which I settled down, and applied myself to my education. I soon contracted expensive habits, and began to spend an amount of money that within a few short months I should have thought almost fabulous; but through good and evil I stuck to my books. There was no other merit in this, than my having sense enough to feel my deficiencies. Between Mr Pocket and Herbert I got on fast; and, with one or the other always at my elbow to give me the start I wanted, and clear obstructions out of my road, I must have been as great a dolt as Drummle if I had done less.
I had not seen Mr Wemmick for some weeks, when I thought I would write him a note and propose to go home with him on a certain evening. He replied that it would give him much pleasure, and that he would expect me at the office at six o'clock. Thither I went, and there I found him, putting the key of his safe down his back as the clock struck.
`Did you think of walking down to Walworth?' said he.
`Certainly,' said I, `if you approve.'
`Very much,' was Wemmick's reply, `for I have had my legs under the desk all day, and shall be glad to stretch them. Now, I'll tell you what I have got for supper, Mr Pip. I have got a stewed steak - which is of home preparation - and a cold roast fowl - which is from the cook's-shop. I think it's tender, because the master of the shop was a Juryman in some cases of ours the other day, and we let him down easy. I reminded him of it when I bought the fowl, and I said, "Pick us out a good one, old Briton, because if we had chosen to keep you in the box another day or two, we could easily have done it." He said to that, "Let me make you a present of the best fowl in the shop." I let him, of course. As far as it goes, it's property and portable. You don't object to an aged parent, I hope?'
I really thought he was still speaking of the fowl, until he added, `Because I have got an aged parent at my place.' I then said what politeness required.
`So, you haven't dined with Mr Jaggers yet?' he pursued, as we walked along.
`Not yet.'
`He told me so this afternoon when he heard you were coming. I expect you'll have an invitation to-morrow. He's going to ask your pals, too. Three of 'em; ain't there?'
Although I was not in the habit of counting Drummle as one of my intimate associates, I answered, `Yes.'
`Well, he's going to ask the whole gang;' I hardly felt complimented by the word; `and whatever he gives you, he'll give you good. Don't look forward to variety, but you'll have excellence. And there'sa nother rum thing in his house,' proceeded Wemmick, after a moment's pause, as if the remark followed on the housekeeper understood; `he never lets a door or window be fastened at night.'
`Is he never robbed?'
`That's it!' returned Wemmick. `He says, and gives it out publicly, "I want to see the man who'll rob me." Lord bless you, I have heard him, a hundred times if I have heard him once, say to regular cracksmen in our front office, "You know where I live; now, no bolt is ever drawn there; why don't you do a stroke of business with me? Come; can't I tempt you?" Not a man of them, sir, would be bold enough to try it on, for love or money.'
`They dread him so much?' said I.
`Dread him,' said Wemmick. `I believe you they dread him. Not but what he's artful, even in his defiance of them. No silver, sir. Britannia metal, every spoon.'
`So they wouldn't have much,' I observed, `even if they--'
`Ah! But he would have much,' said Wemmick, cutting me short, `and they know it. He'd have their lives, and the lives of scores of 'em. He'd have all he could get. And it's impossible to say what he couldn't get, if he gave his mind to it.'
I was falling into meditation on my guardian's greatness, when Wemmick remarked:
`As to the absence of plate, that's only his natural depth, you know. A river's its natural depth, and he's his natural depth. Look at his watch-chain. That's real enough.'
`It's very massive,' said I.
`Massive?' repeated Wemmick. `I think so. And his watch is a gold repeater, and worth a hundred pound if it's worth a penny. Mr Pip, there are about seven hundred thieves in this town who know all about that watch; there's not a man, a woman, or a child, among them, who wouldn't identify the smallest link in that chain, and drop it as if it was red-hot, if inveigled into touching it.'
At first with such discourse, and afterwards with conversation of a more general nature, did Mr Wemmick and I beguile the time and the road, until he gave me to understand that we had arrived in the district of Walworth.
It appeared to be a collection of back lanes, ditches, and little gardens, and to present the aspect of a rather dull retirement. Wemmick's house was a little wooden cottage in the midst of plots of garden, and the top of it was cut out and painted like a battery mounted with guns.
`My own doing,' said Wemmick. `Looks pretty; don't it?'
I highly commended it, I think it was the smallest house I ever saw; with the queerest gothic windows (by far the greater part of them sham), and a gothic door, almost too small to get in at.
`That's a real flagstaff, you see,' said Wemmick, `and on Sundays I run up a real flag. Then look here. After I have crossed this bridge, I hoist it up - so - and cut off the communication.'
The bridge was a plank, and it crossed a chasm about four feet wide and two deep. But it was very pleasant to see the pride with which he hoisted it up and made it fast; smiling as he did so, with a relish and not merely mechanically.
`At nine o'clock every night, Greenwich time,' said Wemmick, `the gun fires. There he is, you see! And when you hear him go, I think you'll say he's a Stinger.'
The piece of ordnance referred to, was mounted in a separate fortress, constructed of lattice-work. It was protected from the weather by an ingenious little tarpaulin contrivance in the nature of an umbrella.
`Then, at the back,' said Wemmick, `out of sight, so as not to impede the idea of fortifications - for it's a principle with me, if you have an idea, carry it out and keep it up - I don't know whether that's your opinion--'
I said, decidedly.
` - At the back, there's a pig, and there are fowls and rabbits; then, I knock together my own little frame, you see, and grow cucumbers; and you'll judge at supper what sort of a salad I can raise. So, sir,' said Wemmick, smiling again, but seriously too, as he shook his head, `if you can suppose the little place besieged, it would hold out a devil of a time in point of provisions.'
Then, he conducted me to a bower about a dozen yards off, but which was approached by such ingenious twists of path that it took quite a long time to get at; and in this retreat our glasses were already set forth. Our punch was cooling in an ornamental lake, on whose margin the bower was raised. This piece of water (with an island in the middle which might have been the salad for supper) was of a circular form, and he had constructed a fountain in it, which, when you set a little mill going and took a cork out of a pipe, played to that powerful extent that it made the back of your hand quite wet.
`I am my own engineer, and my own carpenter, and my own plumber, and my own gardener, and my own Jack of all Trades,' said Wemmick, in acknowledging my compliments. `Well; it's a good thing, you know. It brushes the Newgate cobwebs away, and pleases the Aged. You wouldn't mind being at once introduced to the Aged, would you? It wouldn't put you out?'
I expressed the readiness I felt, and we went into the castle. There, we found, sitting by a fire, a very old man in a flannel coat: clean, cheerful, comfortable, and well cared for, but intensely deaf.
`Well aged parent,' said Wemmick, shaking hands with him in a cordial and jocose way, `how am you?'
`All right, John; all right!' replied the old man.
`Here's Mr Pip, aged parent,' said Wemmick, `and I wish you could hear his name. Nod away at him, Mr Pip; that's what he likes. Nod away at him, if you please, like winking!'
`This is a fine place of my son's, sir,' cried the old man, while I nodded as hard as I possibly could. `This is a pretty pleasureground, sir. This spot and these beautiful works upon it ought to be kept together by the Nation, after my son's time, for the people's enjoyment.'
`You're as proud of it as Punch; ain't you, Aged?' said Wemmick, contemplating the old man, with his hard face really softened; `there's a nod for you;' giving him a tremendous one; `there's another for you;' giving him a still more tremendous one; `you like that, don't you? If you're not tired, Mr Pip - though I know it's tiring to strangers - will you tip him one more? You can't think how it pleases him.'
I tipped him several more, and he was in great spirits. We left him bestirring himself to feed the fowls, and we sat down to our punch in the arbour; where Wemmick told me as he smoked a pipe that it had taken him a good many years to bring the property up to its present pitch of perfection.
`Is it your own, Mr Wemmick?'
`O yes,' said Wemmick, `I have got hold of it, a bit at a time. It's a freehold, by George!'
`Is it, indeed? I hope Mr Jaggers admires it?'
`Never seen it,' said Wemmick. `Never heard of it. Never seen the Aged. Never heard of him. No; the office is one thing, and private life is another. When I go into the office, I leave the Castle behind me, and when I come into the Castle, I leave the office behind me. If it's not in any way disagreeable to you, you'll oblige me by doing the same. I don't wish it professionally spoken about.'
Of course I felt my good faith involved in the observance of his request. The punch being very nice, we sat there drinking it and talking, until it was almost nine o'clock. `Getting near gun-fire,' said Wemmick then, as he laid down his pipe; `it's the Aged's treat.'
Proceeding into the Castle again, we found the Aged heating the poker, with expectant eyes, as a preliminary to the performance of this great nightly ceremony. Wemmick stood with his watch in his hand, until the moment was come for him to take the red-hot poker from the Aged, and repair of the battery. He took it, and went out, and presently the Stinger went off with a Bang that shook the crazy little box of a cottage as if it must fall to pieces, and made every glass and teacup in it ring. Upon this, the Aged - who I believe would have been blown out of his arm-chair but for holding on by the elbows - cried out exultingly, `He's fired! I heerd him!' and I nodded at the old gentleman until it is no figure of speech to declare that I absolutely could not see him.
The interval between that time and supper, Wemmick devoted to showing me his collection of curiosities. They were mostly of a felonious character; comprising the pen with which a celebrated forgery had been committed, a distinguished razor or two, some locks of hair, and several manuscript confessions written under condemnation - upon which Mr Wemmick set particular value as being, to use his own words, `every one of 'em Lies, sir.' These were agreeably dispersed among small specimens of china and glass, various neat trifles made by the proprietor of the museum, and some tobacco-stoppers carved by the Aged. They were all displayed in that chamber of the Castle into which I had been first inducted, and which served, not only as the general sitting-room but as the kitchen too, if I might judge from a saucepan on the hob, and a brazen bijou over the fireplace designed for the suspension of a roasting-jack.
There was a neat little girl in attendance, who looked after the Aged in the day. When she had laid the supper-cloth, the bridge was lowered to give her means of egress, and she withdrew for the night. The supper was excellent; and though the Castle was rather subject to dry-rot insomuch that it tasted like a bad nut, and though the pig might have been farther off, I was heartily pleased with my whole entertainment. Nor was there any drawback on my little turret bedroom, beyond there being such a very thin ceiling between me and the flagstaff, that when I lay down on my back in bed, it seemed as if I had to balance that pole on my forehead all night.
Wemmick was up early in the morning, and I am afraid I heard him cleaning my boots. After that, he fell to gardening, and I saw him from my gothic window pretending to employ the Aged, and nodding at him in a most devoted manner. Our breakfast was as good as the supper, and at half-past eight precisely we started for Little Britain. By degrees, Wemmick got dryer and harder as we went along, and his mouth tightened into a post-office again. At last, when we got to his place of business and he pulled out his key from his coat-collar, he looked as unconscious of his Walworth property as if the Castle and the drawbridge and the arbour and the lake and the fountain and the Aged, had all been blown into space together by the last discharge of the Stinger.
 
本特莱•德鲁莫尔是一个紧绷着脸的人，甚至在读书时也好像书的作者伤害了他一样，至于对待他所熟悉的人自然也不会有一张愉快的笑脸。他的身体长得笨重，行动起来笨拙，思考问题笨头笨脑，甚至在面色上也表现出懒散的迟钝。他那条又大又笨的舌头在嘴巴里懒洋洋地动来动去，就好像他懒洋洋地在房间里踱来踱去一样。他这个人懒散、骄傲、吝啬、沉默寡言，又疑心很重。他出生于桑麦塞郡的有钱人家，从小娇生惯养成这种性格，到了成年做父母的才发现他是个白痴式的人物。本特莱•德鲁莫尔来到鄱凯特先生家时，比鄱凯特先生高一个头，但在脑筋的灵敏度方面比谁都要差半截。
至于斯塔特普，他被脆弱的母亲宠坏了，应该读书时不读，被关在家里。他一直热爱自己的母亲，对她的崇拜是不可估量的。他长得娇弱秀丽，和女人差不多。赫伯特曾对我说过：“虽然你没有见过他的母亲，但你可以看出她的模样，他和他母亲生得一模一样。”我对待他比对待德鲁莫尔更热情，这是很自然的事。即使从最初几天晚上划船开始，他和我就总是并排划船归家，一路划一路聊天，而本特莱•德鲁莫尔却独自跟在我们后面，沿着高高的河岸在灯芯草丛之中划着。他总是像一头很不安分的两栖动物，即使在潮水迅速地把他冲向前来的时候，他也是偷偷地傍岸而行。我知道他总是在黑暗中跟随着我们，避开江流，而我和斯塔特普的小舟却行驶中流，划破夕阳或冲开月光前进。
赫伯特是我的亲密伙伴和朋友。我的这条小船也让他使用，两人共同享有，这样他便有机会时常来到汉莫史密斯；他的那套房间也供给我使用，所以我也时常去伦敦。我们经常随时在两地之间步行，所以直至今天我对这条路还有深切的感情，虽然在兴趣方面已比不上当年。那种情感表现了人生初始的青春活力，以及对人生前途的无限希望。
我在鄱凯特先生家中住了一两个月后，一天卡美拉先生和夫人来到这里。卡美拉是鄱凯特先生的妹妹。乔其亚娜也来了，我过去在郝维仙小姐家中曾见到过她。她是鄱凯特先生的表妹。这是一位消化道有毛病的独身妇女，把自己的刚硬性格称为宗教信仰，又把自己的肝火旺盛称为充满情意。这批人十分贪婪，又没有得逞，所以用这种失望的怨气把我恨之入骨。现在他们看到我正在走运，又怀着卑鄙无耻的心情对我无限奉承。他们把鄱凯特先生当成一个大孩子，因为他对自身的利益毫不注意，早在郝维仙小姐家中我就听他们自鸣得意地表示过对他的宽容。他们很看不上鄱凯特夫人，不过也承认这个可怜的女人在生活中确实遭受到失望的沉重打击，因为从她身上多少也可照出他们自己的影子。
这些便是我当时在伦敦的环境，我就生活于那个环境，也在这环境中接受着教育。不久我就沾上了大手大脚花钱的习惯，如果在几个月之前我一定会认为如此花钱是极其荒唐的；不过，从读书这方面看，不管怎样我还是坚持下去了。当然，这并非是什么了不起的成绩，只不过我对自己在文化方面的缺陷是有足够认识的。由于鄱凯特先生和赫伯特的耐心帮助，我的进步倒是挺快的。不管什么时间他们两个人中总有一个和我在一起，给予我所需要的启发，扫清前进道路上的障碍。假使连这些也疏忽的话，我岂不是也成为了一个像德鲁莫尔一样的大傻瓜了。
我已经有几个星期没有见到温米克先生，我想起这件事便写信给他，说计划在某一个下午到他家中去做客。他回信给我，表示我去访问是他的特大荣幸，并且说他希望我在当天下午六点钟到律师事务所找他。我按约定时间到达他那里，正好钟敲六时，他也正把保险箱的钥匙塞到领子里去挂在背上。
“我们步行到伍尔华斯去，你看怎么样？”他征求我的意见。
“只要你赞成，我们就这么办！”我说道。
“我是双手赞成，”温米克答道，“我整天把两条腿放在办公桌下面，现在让它们活动伸展一下，真太高兴了。现在告诉你我为你准备的晚餐吧，皮普先生，一盘焖牛排，这是家里做的；一只冷烤鸡，这是从饭店里买来的。这只鸡一定很鲜嫩，因为这家店的老板是我们前几天经手案件中的陪审员，我们让他安安稳稳地过了关，没有为难他。在向他买鸡时，我特意提醒他说：‘喂，老伙计，给我拣一只好的，要知道，那次我们本可以多留你几天，为难你一下的。’于是他连忙说道：‘我选一只店里最好的鸡作为送给您的礼品吧。’自然我便接受了他的美意。说到底，这也是件财产，至少是件动产。我想，你不会讨厌一位上了年纪的老爸爸吧。”
我真以为他说的这个老爸爸是鸡呢，直到后来他说：“因为我有一个上了年纪的父亲在家中。”于是，我便说了几句礼节上的客套话。
“你还没有和贾格斯先生一起吃过饭吧？”我们一路走着，他一面问我。
“还没有。”
“今天下午听说你要到我家里来，他提到了这件事。我想明天他会请你吃饭，而且他还要请你的好朋友，一共三个人，对吗？”
虽然我并没有把德鲁莫尔作为我亲密圈子中的成员之一，但还是作了肯定的答复。
“是嘛，他准备请你们一帮子人去吃饭。”我感到他用这个“帮”字是不够礼貌的。”不管他请你们吃什么，总是上等品。在花式品种上不要指望太多，但质量上总是头等的。他家里还有一件奇妙的事，”温米克停顿了一下，我以为他所说的奇妙之事是他曾说过的管家妇呢，然而他继续说道，“晚上他从来都是不锁门窗的。”
“他家里从来不会失窃吗？”
“问题就在这里！”温米克说道，“他总是说，并且在大庭广众之下说：‘我倒想看一看谁敢来偷盗我的东西！’天啦，我曾经在前面办公室中听他对惯偷惯盗讲过有一百次，‘你们知道我住的地方，你们知道我的门窗都不上插销，为什么你们不和我打一次交道？来吧，我那么没有诱惑力吗？你们可以试一试。’先生，真没有一个人有如此胆量去试一下，无论如何没有一个人敢。”
“他们如此地怕他吗？”我问道。
“怕他，”温米克答道，“我想你说得对，他们怕他。其实这是他的心计，他根本无视他们。他家中没有任何银器，先生，连调羹都是铜锡合金的。”
“原来他们没有油水可捞，”我说道，“甚至于他们——”
“嗳！可是他的油水可大呢，”温米克打断了我的话头，说道，“他们哪有不知道的，他掌握了他们的生死大权，他们几十条性命都在他手掌之中。他想捞什么就能捞到什么，只要他一动心机，凡他想捞的就不可能捞不到。”
我正思考着我的监护人可是个伟大的人物，这时温米克说道：
“至于他家中没有银器，说明他懂得人情世故。水有缓急深浅，人有理智情义。他知道如何处理人生常事，不妨看看他的表链，那可是货真价实的宝贝。”
“表链的确非常粗大。”
“粗大？”温米克重复了我说的话，“确实如此，不过他的表也是真金的弹簧自鸣表；少说也值一百英镑。皮普先生，在伦敦这个城市中有七百左右个盗贼，他们对这个表的结构一清二楚。在这些盗贼中无论男的、女的、老的、少的，可以说没有一个不认识这表链上的小环，可要是诱惑他们去碰一下，他们会像炭火烧着手一样赶忙丢掉，”
一开始我们谈的就是这些事情，后来我又谈了更加日常的事务，温米克先生和我便这样消磨了路上的时间，接着他就告诉我，我们已经到了伍尔华斯的地界。
这里都是一条条僻静的小巷。沟渠和一座座小花园，给人的感觉是一个阴郁迟钝的幽静地方。温米克的房子是一幢小小的木屋，在一座花园的中央，屋顶砌得很像一座炮楼，上面还架着炮。
“这是我自己的手艺，”温米克说道，“看上去蛮漂亮，你说呢？”
我高度地赞扬了它，不过我想这是我生平见过的最小的屋子，还有着最奇怪的哥特式窗户，当然多数是些虚饰，另外门也是哥特式的，而且很小，小得几乎难以走进去。
“你看，这是一根真正的旗杆，”温米克说道，“每逢星期天我还要升起一面真正的旗帜。再看这里，这是一座吊桥，过了这桥，再把它升起来，便和外界的交通隔绝了。”
这座桥其实是一块木板，架在一条水沟上，水沟大约四英尺宽二英尺深。看他带着骄傲的神情升起吊桥并把它拴牢倒是挺有趣的。他微笑着，这微笑可是津津有味的，而不是刻板做作的。
“每天晚上九时正，是指格林威治标准时间，”温米克说道，“便开始放炮。你看炮就在那边！听到放炮的声音，我想你会认为这门炮是很有威力的。”
他所说的这门炮是架在一个单独的堡垒上的，堡垒由铁格子构成。为了防止风吹雨打，炮上用柏油防雨布盖住，具有雨伞的功用。
“此外，”温米克说道，“在后面人们看不到的地方——所以不让人们看见，是为了突出堡垒，不阻碍观赏堡垒——我有个原则，想做一件事，便动手去做，还要坚持到底——不知道你对此有何看法——”
我对他所说的话表示了完全的肯定。
“在后面我喂了一头猪、几只家禽，还有几只兔子；我还搭成一个小瓜棚，你看，上面正结着黄瓜；在晚餐时你可以品尝一下用这里的黄瓜做出的色拉。所以，小老弟，”温米克又一次微笑着并严肃认真地摇着他的头说道，“不妨设想一下，要是这个小小所在被包围起来，在供应方面可不用发愁，要坚持多久就能坚持多久。”
然后，他把我引到一个只有大约十来码远的亭子里，可这条路设计得弯弯曲曲，我们抵达亭子倒也花了相当一段时间。在这一个僻静的所在，我们的酒杯早已整齐地放好了。亭子的旁边是一个装饰性的人工湖，为我们准备的混合酒也已经冰镇在湖水之中。这是一片圆形的水面，中心有一小岛，很可能是为晚餐准备的色拉。在湖中他还设计了一道喷泉，是运用小风车的动力，喷水口有一个软木塞，只要拨开软木塞，喷出的泉水足可以把你的手背喷湿。
“我就是工程师，是木匠，是管道工，还是花园里的园丁，总而言之我是万能工匠，有什么干什么，”温米克很感谢我对他的赞扬，说，“本来嘛，自己动手是件好事，你知道，它可以把从新门监狱带回来的蜘蛛网洗刷干净，它可以使老人欢欣。对了，把老人介绍给你，你不会在意吧？你说行吗？不会惹你不高兴吧？”
我说我十分高兴能见到他，于是我们走进了城堡。我看到一位很老很老的老人坐在火炉旁边，穿着干净的法兰绒外套，精神愉快，恬适自然，保养得也很好，不称心的是耳聋得太厉害。
“老爸爸，你好，”温米克一面说着，一面半开玩笑地和他亲切握手，“你好吗？”
“约翰，我可好呢，真好！”这位老人答话道。
“老爸爸，这是皮普先生，”温米克说道，“我希望您老听清他的名字。皮普先生，你给他点一下头，因为他喜欢别人对他点头。你要高兴就对他点点头，他喜欢点头就像别人喜欢眨眼一样。”
我尽量向他连连点头，老人大声说道：“先生，这里是我儿子的好地方，先生，这是一块相当好的游览胜地。这处地方和里面的美妙杰作在我儿子归天后应由国家接管，让人民大众来享乐。”
“老爸爸，你为这块地方骄傲非凡，是不是？”温米克说道，凝神注视着老人，他那张严峻无情的脸上这时现出了温柔的笑容。“现在给你一点头，”他狠命地点了一下头，“现在给你二点头，”他又狠命地点了一下头，然后对老人说：“你喜欢别人对你点头，是不是？”然后对我说：“皮普先生，你要不厌烦的话（虽然我知道这对陌生人来讲是够厌烦的），你是不是给他再点一次头？你不会想到这会令他老人家多高兴啦！”
我也用劲地频频给老人点头，老人的兴致很高，振作一下精神喂鸡鸭去了。我们两人便坐在凉亭里开始饮混合酒。温米克一面拍着他的烟斗，一面向我讲述，说他花了许多年时间才把家业治理得如此完美。
“温米克先生，这是你自己的家产吗？”
“噢，是我的，”温米克说道，“我是慢慢地一点一滴地积累起来的。以国王的名义，这是我世袭的不动产。”
“这是真的？但愿贾格斯先生对此也会敬佩惊叹的！”
“他没有见过这里，”温米克说道，“也没有听说过这里的事。他也没有见过老人，也没有听说过他。须知，事务所是一件事，私人生活是另一件事。我去到事务所就把城堡丢在脑后，我回到城堡又把事务所丢在脑后。如果你对此不感到讨厌，还得请你赞同我这种做法。我不打算在谈业务的时候谈自己的私事。”
自然，我诚心诚意向他表示，我尊重他的请求。混合酒是十分可口的，我们坐在那儿一面饮酒一面叙谈，一直谈到将近九点钟。“就该放炮了，”温米克说着，放下了他的烟斗，“这是老人最愉快的事。”
我们走回城堡，看到老人正在那里把拨火棍放在火上烧，双眼充满了期望的神色，在为这一夜里的伟大典礼做准备工作。温米克一手抓着表站在那里，等待着时刻到来，便从老人手中接过拨火棍，向炮台走去。他带着拔火棍走出去，霎时间，大炮用其巨大的轰隆声表示出自己的雄威，震得这幢小木屋像要倒坍一样，桌上的杯盘碗碟也给震得哗啦啦直响。至于这位老人，我想他本该震得从椅子上跌下来，幸亏他两手紧紧抓住椅柄，总算稳住了。他欢天喜地地喊道：“放炮了！我听到了炮声！”于是我向他连连点头，毫不夸大地说，一直点到头发晕，连他老人家的影子也看不到了。
在晚餐前的一段时间中，温米克领着我参观了他收藏的奇珍异品。特别要说起的是这些东西都与某些重大犯罪案件有关系，其中有一枝著名文件伪造案用的笔、和重大案件有关的一两把刺刀、几把头发，还有几份临刑前写下的交待书。温米克先生最看重这些手稿，用他本人的话来说这是因为“这里的每一份手稿都是在扯谎，先生。”这些东西和一些小瓷器小酒杯杂乱地放在一起，倒颇耐人寻味，另外还有一些该博物馆主人自己亲手做成的各式各样精致玩意儿，以及那位老人刻成的往烟斗里塞烟丝的用具。所有这些东西都展览在那间我被带进城堡时最先到达的房间中。这间屋子不仅是他家的日常起居室，而且也是他家的厨房。我所以如此判断，是因为在炉架上放着一口带柄的小锅，在壁炉上方还有一个铜制的小玩艺儿，看来是挂烤叉用的。
一位穿着很整洁的小女孩侍候我们进餐，白天她是照看老人家的。她把晚餐的一切料理妥当后，便放下吊桥，让她出去，回到自己家过夜。这顿晚餐丰盛可口，虽然城堡里总有一股干枯木头味，闻起来很像变了质的硬果，另外隔壁还喂养着一头猪。无论如何，我对于这顿晚餐是十分心满意足的。晚间，我睡在城堡的小小亭子间里，也感到十分不错，没有什么缺陷。不过，我自己的身体和那根旗杆之间仅隔着一层薄薄的天花板，因此躺在床上时，我就好像不得不整夜都把旗杆顶在头上一样。
温米克在早晨很早便起身了，我仿佛还听到他在洗刷我鞋子的声音。然后，他去园子里干活，我从哥特式的窗口看到他对老人家连连点头，一副非常恭敬的神态，装出想让老人家帮他干些活的模样。这天的早餐和昨天的晚餐一样美味可口。整八时半，我们开始出发，向小不列颠街走去。我们愈向前走，温米克变得愈冷淡无趣和刻薄严厉。他的那张嘴也愈来愈抿得像一个邮筒口。最后我们一走到事务所，他就从衣领里取出那串钥匙。这时，关于伍尔华斯的产业他早已忘到了九霄云外，仿佛城堡、吊桥、凉亭、小湖，以及那喷泉、那老人等等都被那有威力的大炮统统炸得灰飞烟灭了。
Chapter 26
IT fell out as Wemmick had told me it would, that I had an early opportunity of comparing my guardian's establishment with that of his cashier and clerk. My guardian was in his room, washing his hands with his scented soap, when I went into the office from Walworth; and he called me to him, and gave me the invitation for myself and friends which Wemmick had prepared me to receive. `No ceremony,' he stipulated, `and no dinner dress, and say tomorrow.' I asked him where we should come to (for I had no idea where he lived), and I believe it was in his general objection to make anything like an admission, that he replied, `Come here, and I'll take you home with me.' I embrace this opportunity of remarking that he washed his clients off, as if he were a surgeon or a dentist. He had a closet in his room, fitted up for the purpose, which smelt of the scented soap like a perfumer's shop. It had an unusually large jack-towel on a roller inside the door, and he would wash his hands, and wipe them and dry them all over this towel, whenever he came in from a police-court or dismissed a client from his room. When I and my friends repaired to him at six o'clock next day, he seemed to have been engaged on a case of a darker complexion than usual, for, we found him with his head butted into this closet, not only washing his hands, but laving his face and gargling his throat. And even when he had done all that, and had gone all round the jack-towel, he took out his penknife and scraped the case out of his nails before he put his coat on. 
There were some people slinking about as usual when we passed out into the street, who were evidently anxious to speak with him; but there was something so conclusive in the halo of scented soap which encircled his presence, that they gave it up for that day. As we walked along westward, he was recognized ever and again by some face in the crowd of the streets, and whenever that happened he talked louder to me; but he never otherwise recognized anybody, or took notice that anybody recognized him.
He conducted us to Gerrard-street, Soho, to a house on the south side of that street. Rather a stately house of its kind, but dolefully in want of painting, and with dirty windows. He took out his key and opened the door, and we all went into a stone hall, bare, gloomy, and little used. So, up a dark brown staircase into a series of three dark brown rooms on the first floor. There were carved garlands on the panelled walls, and as he stood among them giving us welcome, I know what kind of loops I thought they looked like.
Dinner was laid in the best of these rooms; the second was his dressing-room; the third, his bedroom. He told us that he held the whole house, but rarely used more of it than we saw. The table was comfortably laid - no silver in the service, of course - and at the side of his chair was a capacious dumb-waiter, with a variety of bottles and decanters on it, and four dishes of fruit for dessert. I noticed throughout, that he kept everything under his own hand, and distributed everything himself.
There was a bookcase in the room; I saw, from the backs of the books, that they were about evidence, criminal law, criminal biography, trials, acts of parliament, and such things. The furniture was all very solid and good, like his watch-chain. It had an official look, however, and there was nothing merely ornamental to be seen. In a corner, was a little table of papers with a shaded lamp: so that he seemed to bring the office home with him in that respect too, and to wheel it out of an evening and fall to work.
As he had scarcely seen my three companions until now - for, he and I had walked together - he stood on the hearth-rug, after ringing the bell, and took a searching look at them. To my surprise, he seemed at once to be principally if not solely interested in Drummle.
`Pip,' said he, putting his large hand on my shoulder and moving me to the window, `I don't know one from the other. Who's the Spider?'
`The spider?' said I.
`The blotchy, sprawly, sulky fellow.'
`That's Bentley Drummle,' I replied; `the one with the delicate face is Startop.'
Not making the least account of `the one with the delicate face,' he returned, `Bentley Drummle is his name, is it? I like the look of that fellow.'
He immediately began to talk to Drummle: not at all deterred by his replying in his heavy reticent way, but apparently led on by it to screw discourse out of him. I was looking at the two, when there came between me and them, the housekeeper, with the first dish for the table.
She was a woman of about forty, I supposed - but I may have thought her younger than she was. Rather tall, of a lithe nimble figure, extremely pale, with large faded eyes, and a quantity of streaming hair. I cannot say whether any diseased affection of the heart caused her lips to be parted as if she were panting, and her face to bear a curious expression of suddenness and flutter; but I know that I had been to see Macbeth at the theatre, a night or two before, and that her face looked to me as if it were all disturbed by fiery air, like the faces I had seen rise out of the Witches' caldron.
She set the dish on, touched my guardian quietly on the arm with a finger to notify that dinner was ready, and vanished. We took our seats at the round table, and my guardian kept Drummle on one side of him, while Startop sat on the other. It was a noble dish of fish that the housekeeper had put on table, and we had a joint of equally choice mutton afterwards, and then an equally choice bird. Sauces, wines, all the accessories we wanted, and all of the best, were given out by our host from his dumb-waiter; and when they had made the circuit of the table, he always put them back again. Similarly, he dealt us clean plates and knives and forks, for each course, and dropped those just disused into two baskets on the ground by his chair. No other attendant than the housekeeper appeared. She set on every dish; and I always saw in her face, a face rising out of the caldron. Years afterwards, I made a dreadful likeness of that woman, by causing a face that had no other natural resemblance to it than it derived from flowing hair, to pass behind a bowl of flaming spirits in a dark room.
Induced to take particular notice of the housekeeper, both by her own striking appearance and by Wemmick's preparation, I observed that whenever she was in the room, she kept her eyes attentively on my guardian, and that she would remove her hands from any dish she put before him, hesitatingly, as if she dreaded his calling her back, and wanted him to speak when she was nigh, if he had anything to say. I fancied that I could detect in his manner a consciousness of this, and a purpose of always holding her in suspense.
Dinner went off gaily, and, although my guardian seemed to follow rather than originate subjects, I knew that he wrenched the weakest part of our dispositions out of us. For myself, I found that I was expressing my tendency to lavish expenditure, and to patronize Herbert, and to boast of my great prospects, before I quite knew that I had opened my lips. It was so with all of us, but with no one more than Drummle: the development of whose inclination to gird in a grudging and suspicious way at the rest, was screwed out of him before the fish was taken off.
It was not then, but when we had got to the cheese, that our conversation turned upon our rowing feats, and that Drummle was rallied for coming up behind of a night in that slow amphibious way of his. Drummle upon this, informed our host that he much preferred our room to our company, and that as to skill he was more than our master, and that as to strength he could scatter us like chaff. By some invisible agency, my guardian wound him up to a pitch little short of ferocity about this trifle; and he fell to baring and spanning his arm to show how muscular it was, and we all fell to baring and spanning our arms in a ridiculous manner.
Now, the housekeeper was at that time clearing the table; my guardian, taking no heed of her, but with the side of his face turned from her, was leaning back in his chair biting the side of his forefinger and showing an interest in Drummle, that, to me, was quite inexplicable. Suddenly, he clapped his large hand on the housekeeper's, like a trap, as she stretched it across the table. So suddenly and smartly did he do this, that we all stopped in our foolish contention.
`If you talk of strength,' said Mr Jaggers, `I'll show you a wrist. Molly, let them see your wrist.'
Her entrapped hand was on the table, but she had already put her other hand behind her waist. `Master,' she said, in a low voice, with her eyes attentively and entreatingly fixed upon him. `Don't.'
`I'll show you a wrist,' repeated Mr Jaggers, with an immovable determination to show it. `Molly, let them see your wrist.'
`Master,' she again murmured. `Please!'
`Molly,' said Mr Jaggers, not looking at her, but obstinately looking at the opposite side of the room, `let them see both your wrists. Show them. Come!'
He took his hand from hers, and turned that wrist up on the table. She brought her other hand from behind her, and held the two out side by side. The last wrist was much disfigured - deeply scarred and scarred across and across. When she held her hands out, she took her eyes from Mr Jaggers, and turned them watchfully on every one of the rest of us in succession.
`There's power here,' said Mr Jaggers, coolly tracing out the sinews with his forefinger. `Very few men have the power of wrist that this woman has. It's remarkable what mere force of grip there is in these hands. I have had occasion to notice many hands; but I never saw stronger in that respect, man's or woman's, than these.'
While he said these words in a leisurely critical style, she continued to look at every one of us in regular succession as we sat. The moment he ceased, she looked at him again. `That'll do, Molly,' said Mr Jaggers, giving her a slight nod; `you have been admired, and can go.' She withdrew her hands and went out of the room, and Mr Jaggers, putting the decanters on from his dumbwaiter, filled his glass and passed round the wine.
`At half-past nine, gentlemen,' said he, `we must break up. Pray make the best use of your time. I am glad to see you all. Mr Drummle, I drink to you.'
If his object in singling out Drummle were to bring him out still more, it perfectly succeeded. In a sulky triumph, Drummle showed his morose depreciation of the rest of us, in a more and more offensive degree until he became downright intolerable. Through all his stages, Mr Jaggers followed him with the same strange interest. He actually seemed to serve as a zest to Mr Jaggers's wine.
In our boyish want of discretion I dare say we took too much to drink, and I know we talked too much. we became particularly hot upon some boorish sneer of Drummle's, to the effect that we were too free with our money. It led to my remarking, with more zeal than discretion, that it came with a bad grace from him, to whom Startop had lent money in my presence but a week or so before.
`Well,' retorted Drummle; `he'll be paid.'
`I don't mean to imply that he won't,' said I, `but it might make you hold your tongue about us and our money, I should think.'
`You should think!' retorted Drummle. `Oh Lord!'
'I dare say,' I went on, meaning to be very severe, `that you wouldn't lend money to any of us, if we wanted it.'
`You are right,' said Drummle. `I wouldn't lend one of you a sixpence. I wouldn't lend anybody a sixpence.'
`Rather mean to borrow under those circumstances, I should say.'
`You should say,' repeated Drummle. `Oh Lord!'
This was so very aggravating - the more especially as I found myself making no way against his surly obtuseness - that I said, disregarding Herbert's efforts to check me:
`Come, Mr Drummle, since we are on the subject, I'll tell you what passed between Herbert here and me, when you borrowed that money.'
`I don't want to know what passed between Herbert there and you,' growled Drummle. And I think he added in a lower growl, that we might both go to the devil and shake ourselves.
`I'll tell you, however,' said I, `whether you want to know or not. We said that as you put it in your pocket very glad to get it, you seemed to be immensely amused at his being so weak as to lend it.'
Drummle laughed outright, and sat laughing in our faces, with his hands in his pockets and his round shoulders raised: plainly signifying that it was quite true, and that he despised us, as asses all.
Hereupon Startop took him in hand, though with a much better grace than I had shown, and exhorted him to be a little more agreeable. Startop, being a lively bright young fellow, and Drummle being the exact opposite, the latter was always disposed to resent him as a direct personal affront. He now retorted in a coarse lumpish way, and Startop tried to turn the discussion aside with some small pleasantry that made us all laugh. Resenting this little success more than anything, Drummle, without any threat or warning, pulled his hands out of his pockets, dropped his round shoulders, swore, took up a large glass, and would have flung it at his adversary's head, but for our entertainer's dexterously seizing it at the instant when it was raised for that purpose.
`Gentlemen,' said Mr Jaggers, deliberately putting down the glass, and hauling out his gold repeater by its massive chain, `I am exceedingly sorry to announce that it's half-past nine.'
On this hint we all rose to depart. Before we got to the street door, Startop was cheerily calling Drummle `old boy,' as if nothing had happened. But the old boy was so far from responding, that he would not even walk to Hammersmith on the same side of the way; so, Herbert and I, who remained in town, saw them going down the street on opposite sides; Startop leading, and Drummle lagging behind in the shadow of the houses, much as he was wont to follow in his boat.
As the door was not yet shut, I thought I would leave Herbert there for a moment, and run up-stairs again to say a word to my guardian. I found him in his dressing-room surrounded by his stock of boots, already hard at it, washing his hands of us.
I told him I had come up again to say how sorry I was that anything disagreeable should have occurred, and that I hoped he would not blame me much.
`Pooh!' said he, sluicing his face, and speaking through the water-drops; `it's nothing, Pip. I like that Spider though.'
He had turned towards me now, and was shaking his head, and blowing, and towelling himself.
`I am glad you like him, sir,' said I - `but I don't.'
`No, no,' my guardian assented; `don't have too much to do with him. Keep as clear of him as you can. But I like the fellow, Pip; he is one of the true sort. Why, if I was a fortune-teller--'
Looking out of the towel, he caught my eye.
`But I am not a fortune-teller,' he said, letting his head drop into a festoon of towel, and towelling away at his two ears. `You know what I am, don't you? Good-night, Pip.'
`Good-night, sir.'
In about a month after that, the Spider's time with Mr Pocket was up for good, and, to the great relief of all the house but Mrs Pocket, he went home to the family hole.
 
结果发生的事情和温米克告诉我的一样，我很快便得了一个机会来把我监护人的家和他的管帐办事员的家作一个比较，因为他约请我到他家中做客。我从伍尔华斯到达事务所的时候，我的监护人正在他的房间中用香皂洗手。他见到我便把我叫到面前，告诉我他约请我和几位我的朋友到他家做客，和温米克昨天提到过的一模一样。他和我约定，“不需要客气，不需要穿晚宴礼服，日期就定在明天。”我问他我们该到哪里去，因为我委实不知道他府上的地址。他告诉我，“你们到这里来，然后我带你们上我家去。”看来，他总是不愿说那些像似招供的话。趁这个机会来说说贾格斯先生的洗手，他就像一个外科医生或牙科医生，每打发走一位当事人就得洗一次手。他房间中有一个小盥洗室，专门为他洗手而造，里面发出的香皂味简直可以和一家香料铺子里的香气相媲美。在盥洗室有一根滚轴，上面有一条旋转式长毛巾，他习惯洗过手后用这条毛巾擦净擦干。每次从违警罪法庭上回来，或送走一个当事人之后，他首先的任务是洗手。
第二天六点钟，我和几位朋友来到这里。他好像刚刚办完了一件比通常更加肮脏不堪的案件，所以一头钻在小盥洗室内，不仅仅在洗手，而且又是洗脸，又是漱口、情喉。等到这一切都做完后，他又用那块大毛巾擦干，然后掏出铅笔刀来剔指甲缝里的尘灰污垢，最后才穿上外衣。
我们一走出事务所来到街上，就看到像往常一样有一些贼头贼脑的人在那儿走来走去。很显然，他们都极其渴望和他谈事情，可是他身上的那股香皂味就好像光环一样，使他们知道这天不得不放弃找他谈事的希望。我们向西走着，他不时地被街上人群中的某个人认出来，只要一发生这类事，他便扯大嗓门和我说话。他从不表示他认出了谁，对那些已经认出了他的人也根本不加理睬。
他领我们来到伦敦索霍区的吉拉德街，街的南面有一所宅邸，从外表上看十分宏伟，但是外面的油漆业已剥落，窗户上布满了灰尘，呈现出一片凄凉情境。他掏钥匙打开大门，我们全都走进一间石砌的大厅，里面空荡一片，阴森可怖，几乎没有使用过。我们登上了深褐色的楼梯，上了二楼，这里有一套三间深褐色的房间，四面墙壁都有嵌板，嵌板上都按刻着花纹。他站在一圈一圈的花纹中对我们表示欢迎，我心里明白这些圈圈很像绞架上的那一种圈圈。
晚餐陈设在最好的一个房间中；第二个房间是他的盥洗室；第三间是他的卧房。他告诉我们，他虽拥有这一座大房子，但是所用的就这几间。餐桌上的菜安排得很令人称心，没有银器餐具，这是早知道的事。他座椅旁边有一个宏伟阔气的回转式食品架，上面放有各种酒类，以及餐后用的四盘水果。我注意到他总是把每一件东西放在手边，并且亲自动手为大家分配。
房间里放着一个书橱，摆满了书，从书脊一看就知道都是些关于证据、刑法、罪犯传记、犯罪案例、法令之类的书。家具都是上好材料造成的，坚固耐用，就和他的表链一样。一看就知道哪件家具是做什么用的，所以没有一件家具只是摆设性的。在墙角边有一张小小的文件桌，上面有一盏带灯罩的灯，可见他似乎总要带一些公事回家干，把家庭也变成事务所，晚上把文件桌推出来就可以工作。
在这之前，贾格斯先生一直没有注意我的三个朋友，因为在路上时他总是和我走在一起。这时，他站在炉边地毯上，先打铃叫他的女仆，然后便仔细地打量着他们。他立刻对德鲁莫尔发生了兴趣，如果不是唯一对他发生了兴趣，也是主要对他发生了兴趣，这倒使我感到奇怪。
“皮普，”他说道，把他的大手搭在我肩上，推我走到窗口，“我对这几个人还分不清谁是谁。蜘蛛是哪一个？”
“蜘蛛？”我问道。
“就是那个脸上生着疙瘩、叉手叉脚、沉闷不悦的家伙。”
“他是本特莱•德鲁莫尔，”我答道，“那个眉目生得俊俏的是斯塔特鲁。”
他对于眉目生得俊俏的一位根本没有留意，说道：“他就叫本特莱•德鲁莫尔，是吗？我倒挺喜欢他这个长相。”
他马上便开始和德鲁莫尔攀谈起来。虽然德鲁莫尔的答话既沉闷又迟钝，拖泥带水，但这都阻止不了贾格斯的兴趣，总是设法从他那儿逼出话来。我正站在那里看着他们俩，管家妇走到我们中间，为我们的餐桌送来了第一道菜。
我猜测她大约四十岁光景，不过我想她的长相可能比实际年龄更年轻些。她身材修长，形体柔软轻盈，面容十分苍白，一双大眼睛黯淡失神，浓密的长发披过双肩。她的两片嘴唇张开，仿佛在喘着气，我不知道是不是由于患心脏病的原因。还有，她的脸上有一种古怪的表情，好像心绪不宁。我记得一两天之前的晚上我曾到戏院观看莎士比亚的《麦克白斯》，剧中从女巫的大锅子中冒出来的那些被热气熏得走了形的面孔倒活像这位管家妇的面孔。
管家妇把菜肴放在餐桌上，用一个手指迅速地触了一下我监护人的胳膊，示意他餐桌业已摆好，然后便飘然而去。我们围着圆桌分宾主落座，我的监护人让德鲁莫尔坐在他的旁边，另一边坐的是斯塔特普。管家妇送来的第一道菜是美味可口的鱼，另一道菜是同样精致味鲜的羊肉，再下面一道菜是毫不逊色的野禽。酱油、酒、各种调味品，凡是需要的一切佐料全都是精品，也全都是由我们的东道主从回转式食品架上取下为我们分发的。这些东西依次分发之后，他总要把它们放回原处。我们每吃一道菜，他都要给我们分发一次干净的杯盘刀叉，把用过的餐具丢进他座椅旁边的两个篓子中。除了那位管家妇，再没有见到其他的佣人。她为我们上每一道菜，每次我看到她的面孔，总觉得像一副从女巫的大锅子中蒸出来的面孔。许多年之后，在一间黑暗的屋子里，我曾用一碗酒精燃烧出的光亮照过一张脸，和这女人的面孔极其相像，而且像得可怕。其实，除了飘垂的头发外，别的地方都并不相像。
我特别注意这位管家婆，一个原因是她的面容具有明显的吸引力，另一个原因是因为温米克曾提醒过这件事。我注意到每一次她走进房来，总是两眼紧紧地盯着我的监护人，她把菜肴放在他面前，想放开手，又迟疑不放，仿佛担心他会叫她把菜再端回去，似乎表示如果他有什么话要说，那么趁她在这儿的时候就对她说。我又观察我监护人的态度，发觉他完全意识到这一情况，不过是故意地让她感到进退两难而已。
晚餐进行得非常愉快。虽然我的监护人似乎总是人云亦云，不大主动触及某些问题，我知道他其实正在专心留意我们每个人在性格上的致命弱点。就拿我自己来说吧，我两片嘴唇一分开，话就没完，表明了我追求荣华富贵、挥金如土的倾向，而且自以为是赫伯特的恩主，处处夸耀自己的远大前程。我们几个人个个如此，特别是德鲁莫尔，没有一个人比他更快地暴露出自己的劣根性。第一道鱼还没有吃完时，他那种善妒好疑、冷嘲热讽的倾向已经被逼了出来，原形毕露。
没有多久我们就开始吃乳酪，谈话的主题涉及到了我们不断增长的划船本领。我们开始一致攻击德鲁莫尔，说他就像一头慢吞吞的两栖动物，晚上划船时总是跟在我们后面。德鲁莫尔不甘落后，对我们的东道主说他就是喜欢和我们相隔一段距离，因为在划船的技巧方面连我们的师傅也比不上他，至于力气，我们不过是糠批而已，一下子便可把我们给筛出去了。我的监护人有一种无形的力量，把他逗得发起火来，甚至准备要比试一下。他把袖口挽起，露出胳膊，夸示他的肌肉多发达，于是我们大家也都挽起袖口，露出胳膊，这种举动简直滑稽可笑。
这时，正巧管家妇走来收拾桌上的杯盘残羹，我的监护人根本对她没有注意，面孔背着她，只顾靠在座椅上，咬着他的食指指背，表示出对德鲁莫尔的极大兴趣。说实在的，对他的神情我完全不能理解。这时，管家妇正把手伸向桌面，说时迟，那时快，他啪的一声把他的大手打在她的手上，就像老鼠夹夹住了老鼠一样。这一记来得如此突如其来，又如此闪电迅速，使我们愚蠢的争论立时结束。
“讲气力嘛，”贾格斯先生说道，“我让你们见见世面。茉莉，让大家见识一下你的手腕。”
她那只被抓住的手正被按在桌上，但是她的另一只手已经放到背后去了。“老爷，”她用低低的声音说着，两只眼睛恳求地盯望着贾格斯先生，“不要这样。”
“我要让你们看一下这只手腕。”贾格斯先生又说了一遍，毫不为她所动，铁石心肠地要让别人看她的手腕，“茉莉，让大家欣赏一下你的手腕。”
“老爷，”她又低低地说道，“那就请大家看吧！”
“茉莉，”贾格斯先生根本没望着她，只是一味地看着房子的另一边，说道，“让大家欣赏一下你的两只手腕。来，拿给他们看。”
他先松开手，然后把她的手腕翻过来，放在桌上。她把另一只手从背后伸过来，两只手并排地放在桌上。第二只手相当难看，有深深的伤疤，一道道重叠在一起。在她把手伸出来时，她就不再看贾格斯先生，却转动着眼睛，警惕地顺序看了一下所有其他的人。
“力气就在这里，”贾格斯先生说道，冷冷地用食指指着手腕上的肌肉，“绝大部分男人的手腕也比不上她手腕的力气。只要看这双手抓起人来，那就是惊人的了不起。我见识过的手算是多的了，可是，无论是男人还是女人，我还没有见过一双像这双手有力气。”
贾格斯先生用悠闲的批评家的风度说着这番话，而她仍然一个个地打量着坐在这里的我们。他的话一说完，她的目光又转向他。“茉莉，这就可以了，”贾格斯对她微微一点头说道，“大家都欣赏了你的手腕，你可以走了。”于是她撤回双手，离开了这个房间。这时，贾格斯先生从回转食品架上取出有圆玻璃塞子的酒瓶，先将自己的杯子斟满，然后挨个为大家斟酒。
“诸位先生，”他说道，“九点半我们一定要结束，请大家珍视这宝贵的时光。今天能见到大家我是非常快慰的，德鲁莫尔先生，我来敬你一杯。”
贾格斯先生专门为德鲁莫尔敬酒的目的如果是为了诱出他的人性弱点，那做得是很成功的。德鲁莫尔那副紧绷着面孔自以为是的神态，显然是对其余人的藐视，而且越来越无札，最后达到无法容忍的地步。他人性大暴露的过程，都被贾格斯先生津津有味地看在眼里。德鲁莫尔似乎成了贾格斯先生的佐酒极品。
我们是孩子，不免有孩子气，缺乏谨慎自重，我心里有数，大家酒喝多了，话也就多了起来。我们易干动怒，对德鲁莫尔的讽刺忍受不了，因为他指责我们花钱太大方。于是，我们火气上冒，顾不了谨慎从事，以怒对怒，也指责他不要自以为是，因为就在一个星期之前，他还当着我的面向斯塔特普借过钱呢。
“是有这件事，”德鲁莫尔顶嘴道，“我自然会还给他的。”
“我并不是说你还不还，”我说道，“我是想要你闭上嘴巴，我们怎样花钱和你无关，用不着你来管。”
“你是想！”德鲁莫尔又反驳道，“噢，我的天啦！”
“我敢打赌，”我继续说道，语气十分严厉，“要是我们缺钱用，我看你是不会借钱给我们的。”
“你说得对，”德鲁莫尔说道，“你们从我这儿是借不到一个铜子儿，谁也不要想从我这里借到一个铜子儿。”
“我说，在这种情况下向别人借钱可太卑鄙了。”
“你说！”德鲁莫尔重复道，“噢，我的天啦！”
局势越来越恶化，此人的感觉那么迟钝顽固，我对他简直无能为力，尽管赫伯特一再劝我消气，可我还是无可再忍地说道：
“得了，德鲁莫尔先生，既然扯上这件事，我倒要告诉你，你借钱的时候，赫伯特和我是怎么说的。”
“我根本就不想知道赫伯特和你是怎么说的。”德鲁莫尔愤愤地说。我记得他还低低地骂了些什么，说我们该下地狱等等。
“无论如何我得告诉你，”我说道，“无论你想不想知道我也得说。当时你非常高兴地把借来的钱塞进口袋中，我们说你似乎心里在想，这个人竟如此软弱，反而借钱给你，你心里感到很好笑。”
德鲁莫尔听后大笑，坐在那里当面嘲笑着我们，两只手插在裤袋中，圆滚滚的肩膀耸得高高的。很明显，我们讲的是事实，他把我们都当成驴子一样笨而轻视我们。
这时，斯塔特普也看不下去，不能袖手旁观了，不过他的语言比起我的来要文雅得多，他尽力地劝告对方说话要客气一些。斯塔特普是一位生性活泼、聪明机灵的年轻人，而德鲁莫尔正和他相反，因此一直把斯塔特普怀恨在心，当成最有威胁的肉中刺眼中钉。他用粗俗迟钝的语言讥笑斯塔特普，而斯塔特普却用些有趣的语言企图把争吵岔开，逗得我们都笑了起来。德鲁莫尔对他这次大显身手并获得空前的成功更加大为不满，事先没有恫吓，也不警告，就慢慢地把手从口袋中掏出来，放下耸起的圆乎乎的肩头，然后大骂一声，拿起一只玻璃酒杯，就要向他对头的头上砸去。幸亏我们的东道主手快眼尖，霎时间抓住了杯子，没有让他摔过去。
贾格斯先生慢条斯理地把酒杯放下，然后拉出他那块有粗金锭的自鸣弹簧金表，对我们说道：“先生们，十分遗憾，我不得不告诉大家，现在是九点半了。”
一听到贾格斯先生的提示，我们都起身告辞了。还没有走出临街的大门，斯塔特普便快乐地称呼德鲁莫尔为“老兄”了，仿佛什么事都没有发生似的，可是这位老兄却根本不理他，甚至也不愿意和他一道回汉莫史密斯。赫伯特和我留在城里过夜。只见他们两人各自走在马路的一边，斯塔特普稍前一点，德鲁莫尔稍后一点，而且慢吞吞地走在屋檐的阴影中，和他跟在我们后面划船时的情况一模一样。
贾格斯先生的大门还没有关，我要赫伯特稍等一会儿，因为我想上楼去和我的监护人讲几句话。我看到他正在盥洗室中洗着手，旁边放着他各式各样的靴子。他正在拼命地擦手，要把我们留下来的气味全部擦干净。
我告诉他，我跑上楼来是为了向他道歉，因为刚才发生了实在令人不愉快的事情，希望他不要更多地责备我。
“呸！”他一面冲洗他的面孔，一面透过水珠对我说，“没有事，皮普。不管怎样，我还是喜欢那只蜘蛛。”
他把脸转过来对着我，摇着头，又是扶鼻子，又是用毛巾擦脸。
“先生，你喜欢他我很高兴，”我说道，“不过我可不喜欢他。”
“你说得对，对，”我的监护人同意我道，“不要和他多讲什么，和他保持一定距离。不过，皮普，我倒是喜欢他，他属于实心眼儿的人，唉，要是我能算命的话——”
他把眼睛从毛巾中露出来，正好和我的眼睛对视了一下。
“但我不是算命的，”他说道，又把大花彩般的毛巾捂在面孔上，擦着两边的耳朵。“你晓得我是干哪一行的，是吗？那么再见，皮普。”
“先生，再见。”
大约一个月以后，蜘蛛和鄱凯特先生的租约到期，便搬回到自己老家的蜘蛛洞中去住了。除了鄱凯特夫人，我们大家都感到解除了一大忧患。
Chapter 27
`MY DEAR MR PIP, 
`I write this by request of Mr Gargery, for to let you know that he is going to London in company with Mr Wopsle and would be glad if agreeable to be allowed to see you. He would call at Barnard's Hotel Tuesday morning at nine o'clock, when if not agreeable please leave word. Your poor sister is much the same as when you left. We talk of you in the kitchen every night, and wonder what you are saying and doing. If now considered in the light of a liberty, excuse it for the love of poor old days. No more, dear Mr Pip, from
`Your ever obliged, and affectionate servant,
`BIDDY.'
`P.S. He wishes me most particular to write what larks. He says you will understand. I hope and do not doubt it will be agreeable to see him even though a gentleman, for you had ever a good heart, and he is a worthy worthy man. I have read him all excepting only the last little sentence, and he wishes me most particular to write again what larks.'
I received this letter by post on Monday morning, and therefore its appointment was for next day. Let me confess exactly, with what feelings I looked forward to Joe's coming. 
Not with pleasure, though I was bound to him by so many ties; no; with considerable disturbance, some mortification, and a keen sense of incongruity. If I could have kept him away by paying money, I certainly would have paid money. My greatest reassurance was, that he was coming to Barnard's Inn, not to Hammersmith, and consequently would not fall in Bentley Drummle's way. I had little objection to his being seen by Herbert or his father, for both of whom I had a respect; but I had the sharpest sensitiveness as to his being seen by Drummle, whom I held in contempt. So, throughout life, our worst weaknesses and meannesses are usually committed for the sake of the people whom we most despise.
I had begun to be always decorating the chambers in some quite unnecessary and inappropriate way or other, and very expensive those wrestles with Barnard proved to be. By this time, the rooms were vastly different from what I had found them, and I enjoyed the honour of occupying a few prominent pages in the books of a neighbouring upholsterer. I had got on so fast of late, that I had even started a boy in boots - top boots - in bondage and slavery to whom I might have been said to pass my days. For, after I had made the monster (out of the refuse of my washerwoman's family) and had clothed him with a blue coat, canary waistcoat, white cravat, creamy breeches, and the boots already mentioned, I had to find him a little to do and a great deal to eat; and with both of those horrible requirements he haunted my existence.
This avenging phantom was ordered to be on duty at eight on Tuesday morning in the hall (it was two feet square, as charged for floorcloth), and Herbert suggested certain things for breakfast that he thought Joe would like. While I felt sincerely obliged to him for being so interested and considerate, I had an odd half-provoked sense of suspicion upon me, that if Joe had been coming to see him, he wouldn't have been quite so brisk about it.
However, I came into town on the Monday night to be ready for Joe, and I got up early in the morning, and caused the sittingroom and breakfast-table to assume their most splendid appearance. Unfortunately the morning was drizzly, and an angel could not have concealed the fact the Barnard was shedding sooty tears outside the window, like some weak giant of a Sweep.
As the time approached I should have liked to run away, but the Avenger pursuant to orders was in the hall, and presently I heard Joe on the staircase. I knew it was Joe, by his clumsy manner of coming up-stairs - his state boots being always too big for him - and by the time it took him to read the names on the other floors in the course of his ascent. When at last he stopped outside our door, I could hear his finger tracing over the painted letters of my name, and I afterwards distinctly heard him breathing in at the keyhole. Finally he gave a faint single rap, and Pepper - such was the compromising name of the avenging boy - announced `Mr Gargery!' I thought he never would have done wiping his feet, and that I must have gone out to lift him off the mat, but at last he came in.
`Joe, how are you, Joe?'
`Pip, how AIR you, Pip?'
With his good honest face all glowing and shining, and his hat put down on the floor between us, he caught both my hands and worked them straight up and down, as if I had been the lastpatented Pump.
`I am glad to see you, Joe. Give me your hat.'
But Joe, taking it up carefully with both hands, like a bird's-nest with eggs in it, wouldn't hear of parting with that piece of property, and persisted in standing talking over it in a most uncomfortable way.
`Which you have that growed,' said Joe, `and that swelled, and that gentle-folked;' Joe considered a little before he discovered this word; `as to be sure you are a honour to your king and country.'
`And you, Joe, look wonderfully well.'
`Thank God,' said Joe, `I'm ekerval to most. And your sister, she's no worse than she were. And Biddy, she's ever right and ready. And all friends is no backerder, if not no forarder. 'Ceptin'Wopsle; he's had a drop.'
All this time (still with both hands taking great care of the bird's-nest), Joe was rolling his eyes round and round the room, and round and round the flowered pattern of my dressing-gown.
`Had a drop, Joe?'
`Why yes,' said Joe, lowering his voice, `he's left the Church, and went into the playacting. Which the playacting have likeways brought him to London along with me. And his wish were,' said Joe, getting the bird's-nest under his left arm for the moment and groping in it for an egg with his right; `if no offence, as I would 'and you that.'
I took what Joe gave me, and found it to be the crumpled playbill of a small metropolitan theatre, announcing the first appearance, in that very week, of `the celebrated Provincial Amateur of Roscian renown, whose unique performance in the highest tragic walk of our National Bard has lately occasioned so great a sensation in local dramatic circles.'
`Were you at his performance, Joe?' I inquired.
`I were,' said Joe, with emphasis and solemnity.
`Was there a great sensation?'
`Why,' said Joe, `yes, there certainly were a peck of orangepeel. Partickler, when he see the ghost. Though I put it to yourself, sir, whether it were calc'lated to keep a man up to his work with a good hart, to be continiwally cutting in betwixt him and the Ghost with Mqq>Amen!" A man may have had a misfortun' and been in the Church,' said Joe, lowering his voice to an argumentative and feeling tone, `but that is no reason why you should put him out at such a time. Which I meantersay, if the ghost of a man's own father cannot be allowed to claim his attention, what can, Sir? Still more, when his mourning `at is unfortunately made so small as that the weight of the black feathers brings it off, try to keep it on how you may.'
A ghost-seeing effect in Joe's own countenance informed me that Herbert had entered the room. So, I presented Joe to Herbert, who held out his hand; but Joe backed from it, and held on by the bird's-nest.
`Your servant, Sir,' said Joe, `which I hope as you and Pip' - here his eye fell on the Avenger, who was putting some toast on table, and so plainly denoted an intention to make that young gentleman one of the family, that I frowned it down and confused him more - `I meantersay, you two gentlemen - which I hope as you get your elths in this close spot? For the present may be a werry good inn, according to London opinions,' said Joe, confidentially, `and I believe its character do stand i; but I wouldn't keep a pig in it myself - not in the case that I wished him to fatten wholesome and to eat with a meller flavour on him.'
Having borne this flattering testimony to the merits of our dwelling-place, and having incidentally shown this tendency to call me `sir,' Joe, being invited to sit down to table, looked all round the room for a suitable spot on which to deposit his hat - as if it were only on some very few rare substances in nature that it could find a resting place - and ultimately stood it on an extreme corner of the chimney-piece, from which it ever afterwards fell off at intervals.
`Do you take tea, or coffee, Mr Gargery?' asked Herbert, who always presided of a morning.
`Thankee, Sir,' said Joe, stiff from head to foot, `I'll take whichever is most agreeable to yourself.'
`What do you say to coffee?'
`Thankee, Sir,' returned Joe, evidently dispirited by the proposal, `since you are so kind as make chice of coffee, I will not run contrairy to your own opinions. But don't you never find it a little 'eating?'
`Say tea then,' said Herbert, pouring it out.
Here Joe's hat tumbled off the mantel-piece, and he started out of his chair and picked it up, and fitted it to the same exact spot. As if it were an absolute point of good breeding that it should tumble off again soon.
`When did you come to town, Mr Gargery?'
`Were it yesterday afternoon?' said Joe, after coughing behind his hand, as if he had had time to catch the whooping-cough since he came. `No it were not. Yes it were. Yes. It were yesterday afternoon' (with an appearance of mingled wisdom, relief, and strict impartiality).
`Have you seen anything of London, yet?'
`Why, yes, Sir,' said Joe, `me and Wopsle went off straight to look at the Blacking Ware'us. But we didn't find that it come up to its likeness in the red bills at the shop doors; which I meantersay,' added Joe, in an explanatory manner, `as it is there drawd too architectooralooral.'
I really believe Joe would have prolonged this word (mightily expressive to my mind of some architecture that I know) into a perfect Chorus, but for his attention being providentially attracted by his hat, which was toppling. Indeed, it demanded from him a constant attention, and a quickness of eye and hand, very like that exacted by wicket-keeping. He made extraordinary play with it, and showed the greatest skill; now, rushing at it and catching it neatly as it dropped; now, merely stopping it midway, beating it up, and humouring it in various parts of the room and against a good deal of the pattern of the paper on the wall, before he felt it safe to close with it; finally, splashing it into the slop-basin, where I took the liberty of laying hands upon it.
As to his shirt-collar, and his coat-collar, they were perplexing to reflect upon - insoluble mysteries both. Why should a man scrape himself to that extent, before he could consider himself full dressed? Why should he suppose it necessary to be purified by suffering for his holiday clothes? Then he fell into such unaccountable fits of meditation, with his fork midway between his plate and his mouth; had his eyes attracted in such strange directions; was afflicted with such remarkable coughs; sat so far from the table, and dropped so much more than he ate, and pretended that he hadn't dropped it; that I was heartily glad when Herbert left us for the city.
I had neither the good sense nor the good feeling to know that this was all my fault, and that if I had been easier with Joe, Joe would have been easier with me. I felt impatient of him and out of temper with him; in which condition he heaped coals of fire on my head.
`Us two being now alone, Sir,' - began Joe.
`Joe,' I interrupted, pettishly, `how can you call me, Sir?'
Joe looked at me for a single instant with something faintly like reproach. Utterly preposterous as his cravat was, and as his collars were, I was conscious of a sort of dignity in the look.
`Us two being now alone,' resumed Joe, `and me having the intentions and abilities to stay not many minutes more, I will now conclude - leastways begin - to mention what have led to my having had the present honour. For was it not,' said Joe, with his old air of lucid exposition, `that my only wish were to be useful to you, I should not have had the honour of breaking wittles in the company and abode of gentlemen.'
I was so unwilling to see the look again, that I made no remonstrance against this tone.
`Well, Sir,' pursued Joe, `this is how it were. I were at the Bargemen t'other night, Pip;' whenever he subsided into affection, he called me Pip, and whenever he relapsed into politeness he called me Sir; `when there come up in his shay-cart, Pumblechook. Which that same identical,' said Joe, going down a new track, `do comb my 'air the wrong way sometimes, awful, by giving out up and down town as it were him which ever had your infant companionation and were looked upon as a playfellow by yourself.'
`Nonsense. It was you, Joe.'
`Which I fully believed it were, Pip,' said Joe, slightly tossing his head, `though it signify little now, Sir. Well, Pip; this same identical, which his manners is given to blusterous, come to me at the Bargemen (wot a pipe and a pint of beer do give refreshment to the working-man, Sir, and do not over stimilate), and his word were, "Joseph, Miss Havisham she wish to speak to you."'
`Miss Havisham, Joe?'
`"She wish," were Pumblechook's word, "to speak to you."' Joe sat and rolled his eyes at the ceiling.
`Yes, Joe? Go on, please.'
`Next day, Sir,' said Joe, looking at me as if I were a long way off, `having cleaned myself, I go and I see Miss A.'
`Miss A., Joe? Miss Havisham?'
`Which I say, Sir,' replied Joe, with an air of legal formality, as if he were making his will, `Miss A., or otherways Havisham. Her expression air then as follering: "Mr Gargery. You air in correspondence with Mr Pip?" Having had a letter from you, I were able to say "I am." (When I married your sister, Sir, I said "I will;" and when I answered your friend, Pip, I said "I am.") "Would you tell him, then," said she, "that which Estella has come home and would be glad to see him."'
I felt my face fire up as I looked at Joe. I hope one remote cause of its firing, may have been my consciousness that if I had known his errand, I should have given him more encouragement.
`Biddy,' pursued Joe, `when I got home and asked her fur to write the message to you, a little hung back. Biddy says, "I know he will be very glad to have it by word of mouth, it is holidaytime, you want to see him, go!" I have now concluded, Sir,' said Joe, rising from his chair, `and, Pip, I wish you ever well and ever prospering to a greater and a greater heighth.'
`But you are not going now, Joe?'
`Yes I am,' said Joe.
`But you are coming back to dinner, Joe?'
`No I am not,' said Joe.
Our eyes met, and all the `Sir' melted out of that manly heart as he gave me his hand.
`Pip, dear old chap, life is made of ever so many partings welded together, as I may say, and one man's a blacksmith, and one's a whitesmith, and one's a goldsmith, and one's a coppersmith. Diwisions among such must come, and must be met as they come. If there's been any fault at all to-day, it's mine. You and me is not two figures to be together in London; nor yet anywheres else but what is private, and beknown, and understood among friends. It ain't that I am proud, but that I want to be right, as you shall never see me no more in these clothes. I'm wrong in these clothes. I'm wrong out of the forge, the kitchen, or off th' meshes. You won't find half so much fault in me if you think of me in my forge dress, with my hammer in my hand, or even my pipe. You won't find half so much fault in me if, supposing as you should ever wish to see me, you come and put your head in at the forge window and see Joe the blacksmith, there, at the old anvil, in the old burnt apron, sticking to the old work. I'm awful dull, but I hope I've beat out something nigh the rights of this at last. And so GOD bless you, dear old Pip, old chap, GOD bless you!'
I had not been mistaken in my fancy that there was a simple dignity in him. The fashion of his dress could no more come in its way when he spoke these words, than it could come in its way in Heaven. He touched me gently on the forehead, and went out. As soon as I could recover myself sufficiently, I hurried out after him and looked for him in the neighbouring streets; but he was gone.
 
亲爱的皮普先生：
葛奇里先生请我写一封信给你，告诉你他准备到伦敦去一次，由汉甫赛先生陪同。如果你愿意他去看你，他是非常乐意的。下星期二早晨九点钟，他会去巴纳德旅馆。万一你不愿意他去看你，也请留个条子在那里。你可怜的姐姐还是老样子，和你走时一样没有起色。每天晚上我们都在厨房谈论你，猜你在说些什么，在做些什么。你要是觉得我们这样未免过分，也请你看在昔日友情的面上而原谅我们。亲爱的皮普先生，不再多叙了。永远感谢你、热爱你的仆人毕蒂
他要我特别写上“真开心啊”这几个字。他说你一见这几个字就会明白其中的意思。我希望，也不怀疑，虽然你现在是个上等人，也一定会很高兴见他，因为你永远有一颗善良的心，而他又是个非常非常好的人。我把写的所有话都读给他听过，除了最后一个短句。他希望我特别把“真开心啊”这几个字再写一遍。又及。
我接到邮局给我送来的这封信时已经是星期一的早晨，所以第二天便是约定的会面日期。至于乔的前来使我情感波动万千，这里我得从良心上忏悔自己。
我固然和乔之间有着千丝万缕情感上的联系，然而对于他的来访，我心头仍颇感不快。非但如此，我心头还感到杂乱无章、羞耻惭愧。我们两人的地位如此不一致，如果利用金钱的力量可使他不来，我宁愿付给他钱。不过稍使我安心的是他是到巴纳德旅馆，而不是到汉莫史密斯，自然也就不会撞上本特莱•德鲁莫尔。我倒不太担心他见到赫伯特或他的父亲，因为我对他们两人都很尊敬，但是一想到会被德鲁莫尔见到，我内在的情感就受到了残酷的破坏，因为我轻视他。人生在世，往往由于为了躲开最轻视的人，却犯下了最卑鄙的恶行。
我早就开始装饰我的几间房，而且总是用很不必要和很不恰当的方法来装饰它们，何况是巴纳德旅馆中的房间，实在要花费很多的钱。现在这几个房间和我刚来时已大不相同，我有特殊的荣幸，居然在附近一家家具店中赊帐可观，项目已占了好几页。我的生活要求越来越高，不久前还雇佣了一个小仆人，让他穿上了一双高统靴子。虽说是仆人，我却不得不承认，自从雇他以来，我反而受了他的束缚和奴役。他简直是个小怪物，本来只是我的洗衣妇家中的废物，我却雇佣了他，让他穿上蓝外衣、黄背心、白领结、奶油色马裤，并蹬上刚才提到过的高统靴，每天还得为他找些活儿干，给他许多东西吃。他像幽灵般地缠绕住我，天天要我答应他这两个可怕而讨厌的要求。
我叫这个讨债的幽灵于星期二上午八时站在厅堂里值班（这厅堂只有两英尺见方，由于铺地毯时记录在册，所以记得）。赫伯特提出了几样早点，认为乔会喜欢吃这些东西。我对他由衷地表示感谢，因为他既表示出关心，又想得周到，不过在内心还是有点儿气愤和怀疑，觉得如果乔是来看他的，他就不会如此活泼主动了吧。
总而言之，我在星期一晚上便来到城里，准备第二天迎接乔。我一大清早便起身，把起居室和早餐餐桌布置得非常富丽堂皇。可惜天公不作美，一早便降下氵蒙氵蒙细雨，即使天国派天使来也掩饰不住巴纳德旅馆现实的景象：窗外流着泪，泪水是乌黑的，好像是扫烟囱的巨人在流泪。
约定的时间愈来愈近，本来我早想逃跑了，无奈按照规定，那个讨债鬼正守在厅堂里。不一会儿我就听到乔上楼梯的声音，那种笨手笨脚上楼的脚步声，一听就知道是他，因为他穿的那双出门的靴子太大，而且每爬上一层楼他都要把这一层住客的姓名读出来。最后，他来到我这套房间的门前。我听到他用手指摸了摸标在门上的我的名字，然后又清清楚楚地听到他的呼吸声，这声音是从钥匙孔里传进来的。接着，他在门上轻轻地敲了一下，这时佩勃（我给那个讨债鬼仆人暂时起的一个名字）通报道：“葛奇里先生到！”我正在想着怎么他在门口的擦鞋垫上擦个没完，再这样我得走出去把他拉进来才是；这时他却进来了。
“乔，你好吗，乔？”
“皮普，你好吗，皮普？”
他那张善良诚实的面孔上光彩夺目，他把帽子丢在我们两人中间的地板上，抓住我的两只手，来来回回地晃着，简直把我当成了一台新发明的抽水机。
“乔，我见到你可多高兴啊。把你的帽子交给我。”
可是乔用两只手小心翼翼地把帽子从地上捡起来，像捧着一窝鸟蛋似地捧着它，不情愿让这笔财产离开他的手。他坚持捧着帽子站在那里同我谈话，场面非常尴尬。
“你现在长大了，”乔说道，“你现在长胖了，你长得更像上等人了。”乔思考了一会儿才想出了下面的一句话：“我敢肯定你已经成为国王陛下和国家的光荣了。”
“乔，你看上去也好极了。”
“托上帝洪福，”乔说道，“我倒是还不错。你姐姐还是和过去一样，不好也不坏。毕蒂永远身体健康，干活敏捷。除沃甫赛外，所有亲友也都不好不坏。沃甫赛的运气不佳。”
在这所有的时间里他都小心翼翼地捧着他那“一窝鸟蛋”，两只眼睛在房间四周转来转去，在我睡衣的花饰图案上转来转去。
“他运气不佳，乔？”
“唔，是的，”乔说着，把声音放低下来，“他已经离开了教堂，去演戏了，而且正是因为演戏才把他带到伦敦，才和我同行。他说，”这时乔用左边路肢窝夹住那只鸟窝，而把右手伸到里面去，好像在摸鸟蛋一样，“把这个东西给你看一下，不知你介不介意。”
我接过乔递给我的东西，原来是伦敦大都会里一家小戏馆的一张揉皱了的戏报，上面说该戏馆在本周将由“著名的地方业余演员（其名声可与古罗马著名喜剧演员罗西乌相比）登台献艺，演出我国诗坛之圣莎士比亚的最伟大悲剧，演艺超群，在当地曾引起轰动。”
“乔，你观看过他的演出吗？”我问道。
“我观看过。”乔用强调而严肃的口气说。
“真引起过轰动吗？”
“唔，”乔说道，“是这样，确实丢了许多桔子皮，特别是他见到鬼魂的那一场。先生，要是你自己，不妨想一想，正当他同鬼魂交往时，你却用‘阿门’来打断人家，这怎么能让人家安心地演好戏？虽然他有过不幸，在教堂里干过事，”乔这时放低了声音，用一种动感情的议论语调说道，“但是你没有理由在这种场合和人家捣蛋。我的意思是说，如果一个人连自己父亲的鬼魂都不能去关注，那么又能去关注谁呢，先生，你说呢？再说，他头上的那顶丧帽真是太小了，以至于插上黑羽毛便容易掉下来，可是他却稳稳当当地戴在头上。”
乔的面容上忽然现出见了鬼似的表情，我一看就知道是赫伯特回到了房间，便给他们介绍。赫伯特把手伸过来，乔却把手缩了回去，并且捧着鸟窝不放。
“先生，向你问安，”他先对赫伯特说道，“小的希望你和皮普——”这时讨债鬼正把一些早点放到餐桌上，乔的目光落到了他的身上，很显然，他打算把讨债鬼也计算进去，我连忙向他挤眉弄眼，他才没有说出来，不过这使他更加不知所措了。“我是说，你们两位先生住在如此狭窄的地方，身体一向可好？按照伦敦人的看法，目前这个旅馆是相当不错的，”乔这时把心里话都说了出来，“我知道这个旅馆是第一流的，不过要我到这里来养猪我也不高兴，看来在这个地方养猪是肥不了的，而且这里养大的猪连肉味也不会鲜美。”
乔说完了不少夸奖我们旅馆的话，但可以听出，他不时地对我也用起“先生”来了。我请他坐在餐桌旁，他东张西望，想找到一处合适的地方放他的帽子，好像在这里根本就没有几处帽子可以容身的地方。最后在那壁炉的尖角上他总算把帽子安顿好了，但在那儿帽子可不太稳，不时就要从上面掉下来。
“葛奇里先生，你是喝茶还是喝咖啡？”赫伯特说道，他早餐时总是坐在首位。
“谢谢你先生，”乔从头到脚都是局促不安的样子，说道，“只要你们喜欢，我喝什么都行。”
“那么喝咖啡怎么样？”
“谢谢你先生，”乔答道，从语气中可以听出他对这个建议有些失望，“既然你诚心诚意为我准备咖啡，对于你的建议我是不会反对的。不过你不觉得喝咖啡有些热吗？”
“那么我们就喝茶吧。”赫伯特一面说一面就开始倒茶。
这时乔的帽子从壁炉架上掉了下来，他连忙从座位上起身，把帽子捡起来，又端端正正地放在原来的地方。虽然帽子放在那里马上又会掉下来，但他好像认为只有这样才能表现出优良教养的高贵风度。
“葛奇里先生，你什么时候来到伦敦的？”
“是昨天下午来到城里的吧！”乔用一只手捂住嘴咳嗽了几声，好像他来到伦敦有不少日子，已经染上了这里的百日咳毛病。他说道：“哦，不是昨天下午，哦，是昨天下午。是的，的确是昨天下午。”他的神情显得既智慧，又宽慰，还不离公正。
“你在伦敦逛了街吗？”
“先生，自然逛过街了，”乔答道，“我和沃甫赛先生到鞋油厂去看过，不过，我们觉得这个厂和店铺门口的那些红色招贴画比起来要差些。我是说，”乔对自己说的话加以解释，“那画上面的建筑真——够——气——派。”
他说的“真够气派”这个词倒真使我想起见到过的有气派的建筑物。本来我以为乔还要把这个词拖长，好像唱圣诗一样，不过这时他的注意力又被快要下跌的帽子吸引住了。确实，他要时时刻刻不忘帽子会掉下来，要拿出板球场上守门员眼尖手快的本领。他玩得不错，表演得也极其精彩。有时帽子刚往下落，他就冲过去，一把接住，干净利落；有时帽子已经下落，他便在空中把帽子捞起，双手托上，顺势在屋中转个圈子，把墙上糊的花纸撞个遍，然后才感到放心地把帽子放归原处；最后，帽子掉进了洗碗杯的水盆中，溅起一片水花，这时我不得不冒昧地一把抓住了它。
至于他的衬衣领子和外衣领子简直令人百思不得其解，是个不能解决的谜。为什么一个人为了要使自己所谓衣冠齐整而偏偏让自己的脖子被擦来刮去呢？为什么一个人一定要穿上节日礼服使自己左右不是才算是必须的清洁齐整呢？这时，乔进入了一种莫名其妙的境界，神思恍惚，一时从盘中叉起食物不送进嘴巴，却停在半空；一时两只眼睛东张西望，不知道在注意什么；一时咳嗽咳得自己苦恼难挨；一时又离桌子远远地坐着，掉下来的食物比吃进去的还要多，却还装模作样好像自己什么东西也没有掉。幸亏这时赫伯特离开我们自顾到城里去了，我这才松了口气，心情愉快起来。
其实这一切都是我的错，我既没有很好地理解他，又没有体贴他的情感。如果我对他平易一些，他也就会感到自由轻松一些，而我对他耐心不够，还对他发脾气，可即使是在这种情况下，他给我的却仍是像炉火一样的赤诚。
“先生，现在只剩下我们两个人了——”乔开口说道。
“乔，”我有些生气地打断了他的话头，“你怎么叫起我先生来了？”
乔看了我一眼，似乎稍带了一些责备。他的领带和领子尽管十分令人可笑，然而从他的目光中我窥探出一丝儿严厉。
“现在只剩下我们两个人了，”他接下去说道，“我想我再过几分钟也得走了，不能再耽搁，所以在谈话结束时我想说，其实也没什么可说，只是说一说我怎么会有如此的荣幸来到这里的。”乔像往常那样直截了当地说明道，“我所希望的就是对你有好处，否则我怎么能够到这里来，怎么能有如此荣幸到上流人的住宅中和上流人同桌共餐呢？”
我不情愿再看他的那种眼色，所以对他的这种语气没有再提出奉劝和抗议。
“唔，先生，”乔这时说道，“我就告诉你这件事吧。皮普，几天前的一个晚上我在三个快乐的船夫酒店里，”他一动真情，便会称呼我皮普；但是一旦他要客套，就会叫我先生，“正好彭波契克驾着马车来了。就是这个人，”乔说着，在这里话锋转到一个新的方向，“在镇上，镇里镇外地胡说他是你幼年时代的伙伴，又说你自己也把他当成一同玩耍的朋友。有时他把我弄得火冒冒的，我简直气坏了。”
“全是胡说八道。只有你，乔，才是我幼年时代的伙伴呢！”
“这我完全自信，皮普，”乔说道，把头稍稍昂起一些，“虽然现在说来也没什么，先生。唔，皮普，还是这个家伙，他怒气冲冲地来到三个快乐的船夫酒店，直向我冲过来。先生，你知道我们干活儿的人，在那里抽口烟喝杯酒，轻松一下，不是追求过分的刺激。而这个家伙对我说：‘约瑟夫，郝维仙小姐她要找你谈一下。’”
“乔，郝维仙小姐找你？”
“她要找我谈一下，这是彭波契克讲的。”乔坐在那里，两只眼睛对着天花板转着、望着。
“乔，是这样吗？再说下去。”
“先生，第二天，”乔望着我说道，仿佛我离他很远，“我自己梳洗于净后，便去看爱小姐。”
“乔，爱小姐是谁？是郝维仙小姐吗？”
乔好像在立他的遗嘱一样，用一副正正经经的合法神气一板一眼地说：“我说的是爱小姐，她也叫郝维仙，她见到我向我说，‘葛奇里先生，你和皮普先生通信吗？’我接到过你一封信，所以我就说，‘是。’记得当年我和你姐姐结婚，先生，我对她说愿意，而现在，皮普，我回答你朋友提出的问题，我用了‘是’。她对我说，‘那么你告诉他，埃斯苔娜已经回家了，她很乐意和他见面。’”
我望着乔，面孔感到火辣辣的。我深深了解，我脸上发热的一个间接原因是我的良心意识到，如果早知道乔是为了这件事而来，我本应该对他更热情一些。
乔继续说道：“我从她那里回家，便要毕蒂写信告诉你，可她不大赞成。毕蒂说，‘我知道他最喜欢有话当面讲，反正现在是假期，你还是去看看他吧！’于是我就作了决定，先生。”乔说着便从椅子上站了起来，“皮普，我祝你永远健康，永远发财，步步高升。”
“乔，你现在就要走吗？”
“是的，我要走了。”乔答道。
“乔，不过，你要回来吃饭啊？”
“不回来吃饭了。”乔说道。
我们四目相遇，他向我伸出手来，那“先生”一词在刚强的男子汉心中便消融殆尽了。
“皮普，我亲爱的老弟，生活本来就是由许多不同的零件组合而成的。就说人吧，有的人是铁匠，有的人是银匠，有的人是金匠，还有的人是铜匠。在这个大千世界里，既有相逢，又有别离，何足为奇？今日相逢，我们之间如果有什么错事，错误都归于我。你和我二人在伦敦、在任何地方都到不了一块儿，除非回到自己家中，才能重新成为好朋友，相互了解。我一走你就看不见我穿这套衣服了；穿这套衣服不是为了自尊，而是为了需要；错就错在这些衣服。我一离开铁匠铺，一离开厨房，或者一离开沼泽地，就会感到不舒服。要是你想起我穿着打铁的工作服，手上拿了铁锤，甚至嘴上叼着烟斗，也许你就顺眼了。要是有一天你希望来看我，你就来，把头伸进铁匠铺的窗户，看一眼铁匠乔，那时他正站在老铁砧的旁边，腰间围着被烧得焦黄的旧围裙，操持着他的老本行，你看我就会顺眼了。我是很迟钝的人，但是我希望我讲的话都是在铁砧上千锤百炼出来的。哦，亲爱的老朋友皮普，我的老弟，愿上帝保佑你，上帝保佑你！”
在我的想象中我对乔没有误解，他的心地既纯朴又尊严。就从他所说的这一番话可以看出，不相称的衣服算不了什么，他的尊严却令人佩服，即使到了天国，他的尊严也不会比现在更高。这时，他轻轻地摸了一下我的额头，便悄然离去。等我从恍馆之中清醒过来，匆忙举步追去，在附近的几条街上寻找他，然而他已经踪迹皆无。
Chapter 28
It was clear that I must repair to our town next day, and in the first flow of my repentance it was equally clear that I must stay at Joe's. But, when I had secured my box-place by to-morrow's coach and had been down to Mr Pocket's and back, I was not by any means convinced on the last point, and began to invent reasons and make excuses for putting up at the Blue Boar. I should be an inconvenience at Joe's; I was not expected, and my bed would not be ready; I should be too far from Miss Havisham's, and she was exacting and mightn't like it. All other swindlers upon earth are nothing to the self-swindlers, and with such pretences did I cheat myself. Surely a curious thing. That I should innocently take a bad half-crown of somebody else's manufacture, is reasonable enough; but that I should knowingly reckon the spurious coin of my own make, as good money! An obliging stranger, under pretence of compactly folding up my bank-notes for security's sake, abstracts the notes and gives me nutshells; but what is his sleight of hand to mine, when I fold up my own nutshells and pass them on myself as notes! 
Having settled that I must go to the Blue Boar, my mind was much disturbed by indecision whether or no to take the Avenger. It was tempting to think of that expensive Mercenary publicly airing his boots in the archway of the Blue Boar's posting-yard; it was almost solemn to imagine him casually produced in the tailor's shop and confounding the disrespectful senses of Trabb's boy. On the other hand, Trabb's boy might worm himself into his intimacy and tell him things; or, reckless and desperate wretch as I knew he could be, might hoot him in the High-street, My patroness, too, might hear of him, and not approve. On the whole, I resolved to leave the Avenger behind.
It was the afternoon coach by which I had taken my place, and, as winter had now come round, I should not arrive at my destination until two or three hours after dark. Our time of starting from the Cross Keys was two o'clock. I arrived on the ground with a quarter of an hour to spare, attended by the Avenger - if I may connect that expression with one who never attended on me if he could possibly help it.
At that time it was customary to carry Convicts down to the dockyards by stage-coach. As I had often heard of them in the capacity of outside passengers, and had more than once seen them on the high road dangling their ironed legs over the coach roof, I had no cause to be surprised when Herbert, meeting me in the yard, came up and told me there were two convicts going down with me. But I had a reason that was an old reason now, for constitutionally faltering whenever I heard the world convict.
`You don't mind them, Handel?' said Herbert.
`Oh no!'
`I thought you seemed as if you didn't like them?'
`I can't pretend that I do like them, and I suppose you don't particularly. But I don't mind them.'
`See! There they are,' said Herbert, `coming out of the Tap. What a degraded and vile sight it is!'
They had been treating their guard, I suppose, for they had a gaoler with them, and all three came out wiping their mouths on their hands. The two convicts were handcuffed together, and had irons on their legs - irons of a pattern that I knew well. They wore the dress that I likewise knew well. Their keeper had a brace of pistols, and carried a thick-knobbed bludgeon under his arm; but he was on terms of good understanding with them, and stood, with them beside him, looking on at the putting-to of the horses, rather with an air as if the convicts were an interesting Exhibition not formally open at the moment, and he the Curator. One was a taller and stouter man than the other, and appeared as a matter of course, according to the mysterious ways of the world both convict and free, to have had allotted to him the smaller suit of clothes. His arms and legs were like great pincushions of those shapes, and his attire disguised him absurdly; but I knew his half-closed eye at one glance. There stood the man whom I had seen on the settle at the Three Jolly Bargemen on a Saturday night, and who had brought me down with his invisible gun!
It was easy to make sure that as yet he knew me no more than if he had never seen me in his life. He looked across at me, and his eye appraised my watch-chain, and then he incidentally spat and said something to the other convict, and they laughed and slued themselves round with a clink of their coupling manacle, and looked at something else. The great numbers on their backs, as if they were street doors; their coarse mangy ungainly outer surface, as if they were lower animals; their ironed legs, apologetically garlanded with pocket-handkerchiefs; and the way in which all present looked at them and kept from them; made them (as Herbert had said) a most disagreeable and degraded spectacle.
But this was not the worst of it. It came out that the whole of the back of the coach had been taken by a family removing from London, and that there were no places for the two prisoners but on the seat in front, behind the coachman. Hereupon, a choleric gentleman, who had taken the fourth place on that seat, flew into a most violent passion, and said that it was a breach of contract to mix him up with such villainous company, and that it was poisonous and pernicious and infamous and shameful, and I don't know what else. At this time the coach was ready and the coachman impatient, and we were all preparing to get up, and the prisoners had come over with their keeper - bringing with them that curious flavour of bread-poultice, baize, rope-yarn, and hearthstone, which attends the convict presence.
`Don't take it so much amiss. sir,' pleaded the keeper to the angry passenger; `I'll sit next you myself. I'll put 'em on the outside of the row. They won't interfere with you, sir. You needn't know they're there.'
`And don't blame me,' growled the convict I had recognized. `I don't want to go. I am quite ready to stay behind. As fur as I am concerned any one's welcome to my place.'
`Or mine,' said the other, gruffly. `I wouldn't have incommoded none of you, if I'd had my way.' Then, they both laughed, and began cracking nuts, and spitting the shells about. - As I really think I should have liked to do myself, if I had been in their place and so despised.
At length, it was voted that there was no help for the angry gentleman, and that he must either go in his chance company or remain behind. So, he got into his place, still making complaints, and the keeper got into the place next him, and the convicts hauled themselves up as well as they could, and the convict I had recognized sat behind me with his breath on the hair of my head.
`Good-bye, Handel!' Herbert called out as we started. I thought what a blessed fortune it was, that he had found another name for me than Pip.
It is impossible to express with what acuteness I felt the convict's breathing, not only on the back of my head, but all along my spine. The sensation was like being touched in the marrow with some pungent and searching acid, it set my very teeth on edge. He seemed to have more breathing business to do than another man, and to make more noise in doing it; and I was conscious of growing high-shoulderd on one side, in my shrinking endeavours to fend him off.
The weather was miserably raw, and the two cursed the cold. It made us all lethargic before we had gone far, and when we had left the Half-way House behind, we habitually dozed and shivered and were silent. I dozed off, myself, in considering the question whether I ought to restore a couple of pounds sterling to this creature before losing sight of him, and how it could best be done. In the act of dipping forward as if I were going to bathe among the horses, I woke in a fright and took the question up again.
But I must have lost it longer than I had thought, since, although I could recognize nothing in the darkness and the fitful lights and shadows of our lamps, I traced marsh country in the cold damp wind that blew at us. Cowering forward for warmth and to make me a screen against the wind, the convicts were closer to me than before. They very first words I heard them interchange as I became conscious were the words of my own thought, `Two One Pound notes.'
`How did he get 'em?' said he convict I had never seen.
`How should I know?' returned the other. `He had 'em stowed away somehows. Giv him by friends, I expect.'
`I wish,' said the other, with a bitter curse upon the cold, `that I had 'em here.'
`Two one pound notes, or friends?'
`Two one pound notes. I'd sell all the friends I ever had, for one, and think it a blessed good bargain. Well? So he says - ?'
`So he says,' resumed the convict I had recognized - `it was all said and done in half a minute, behind a pile of timber in the Dockyard - "You're a going to be discharged?" Yes, I was. Would I find out that boy that had fed him and kep his secret, and give him them two one pound notes? Yes, I would. And I did.'
`More fool you,' growled the other. `I'd have spent 'em on a Man, in wittles and drink. He must have been a green one. Mean to say he knowed nothing of you?'
`Not a ha'porth. Different gangs and different ships. He was tried again for prison breaking, and got made a Lifer.'
`And was that - Honour! - the only time you worked out, in this part of the country?'
`The only time.'
`What might have been your opinion of the place?'
`A most beastly place. Mudbank, mist, swamp, and work; work, swamp, mist, and mudbank.'
They both execrated the place in very strong language, and gradually growled themselves out, and had nothing left to say.
After overhearing this dialogue, I should assuredly have got down and been left in the solitude and darkness of the highway, but for feeling certain that the man had no suspicion of my identity. Indeed, I was not only so changed in the course of nature, but so differently dressed and so differently circumstanced, that it was not at all likely he could have known me without accidental help. Still, the coincidence of our being together on the coach, was sufficiently strange to fill me with a dread that some other coincidence might at any moment connect me, in his hearing, with my name. For this reason, I resolved to alight as soon as we touched the town, and put myself out of his hearing. This device I executed successfully. My little portmanteau was in the boot under my feet; I had but to turn a hinge to get it out: I threw it down before me, got down after it, and was left at the first lamp on the first stones of the town pavement. As to the convicts, they went their way with the coach, and I knew at what point they would be spirited off to the river. In my fancy, I saw the boat with its convict crew waiting for them at the slime-washed stairs, - again heard the gruff `Give way, you!' like and order to dogs - again saw the wicked Noah's Ark lying out on the black water.
I could not have said what I was afraid of, for my fear was altogether undefined and vague, but there was great fear upon me. As I walked on to the hotel, I felt that a dread, much exceeding the mere apprehension of a painful of disagreeable recognition, made me tremble. I am confident that it took no distinctness of shape, and that it was the revival for a few minutes of the terror of childhood.
The coffee-room at the Blue Boar was empty, and I had not only ordered my dinner there, but had sat down to it, before the waiter knew me. As soon as he had apologized for the remissness of his memory, he asked me if he should send Boots for Mr Pumblechook?
`No,' said I, `certainly not.'
The waiter (it was he who had brought up the Great Remonstrance from the Commercials, on the day when I was bound) appeared surprised, and took the earliest opportunity of putting a dirty old copy of a local newspaper so directly in my way, that I took it up and read this paragraph:
Our readers will learn, not altogether without interest, in reference to the recent romantic rise in fortune of a young artificer in iron of this neighbourhood (what a theme, by the way, for the magic pen of our as yet not universally acknowledged townsman TOOBY, the poet of our columns!) that the youth's earliest patron, companion, and friend, was a highly-respected individual not entirely unconnected with the corn and seed trade, and whose eminently convenient and commodious business premises are situate within a hundred miles of the High-street. It is not wholly irrespective of our personal feelings that we record HIM as the Mentor of our young Telemachus, for it is good to know that our town produced the founder of the latter's fortunes. Does the thoughtcontracted brow of the local Sage or the lustrous eye of local Beauty inquire whose fortunes? We believe that Quintin Matsys was the BLACKSMITH of Antwerp. VERB. SAP.
I entertain a conviction, based upon large experience, that if in the days of my prosperity I had gone to the North Pole, I should have met somebody there, wandering Esquimaux or civilized man, who would have told me that Pumblechook was my earliest patron and the founder of my fortunes.
 
显然，第二天我将不得不回到我故乡的小镇。一开始，由于内心的忏悔和歉意，所以觉得很自然我该住在乔的家里。后来，我预定好次日返镇的马车，到鄱凯特先生家去请过假，心情又起了变化，踌躇不定是不是要住在乔的家里，于是我编造各种理由为自己开脱，说我应该住在蓝野猪饭店。什么住在乔家中会带来许多不便啦；什么我突如其来地跑去，他们对我的住宿会一无准备啦；什么我住的地方不能离郝维仙小姐的家过远，她这个人十分严厉，不能使她不高兴啦。天下所有的骗子比起自我欺骗的人来就算不上什么了，而我就是这样一个自我编造理由来欺骗自己的人。我干的就是这么奇怪的事。假使我把别人的假币当作真币收下来，那是我的无辜所致，不是什么怪事；现在的问题是我明明知道这是我自己造的假币，却骗自己说是真币。要是有一个陌生人，表示对我感谢，假装为了保险起见，替我把钞票用纸包好，暗中却抽去钞票，换上了废纸，这还情有可原；可问题是我自己包上了一堆废纸，却递给自己当作钞票！
刚刚决定必须住在蓝野猪饭店，在另一个问题上我又犹豫不决了，心头颇为不安，即我究竟该不该带着讨债鬼去呢？如果带上这个穿着讲究的小跟班，让他站在蓝野猪饭店里的马房拱道口显示他的高统皮靴，那有多么得意；而且要是这个讨债鬼突然出现在那个裁缝铺里，准保把那个特拉布所雇的不懂礼貌的小伙计吓得要死。不过，从另一方面看，特拉布的小伙计也许会巴结他，表示热情，把我的一切底细向他揭露；说不定这个小伙计会把我的跟班给轰到街上去，因为我知道他是个轻率鲁莽、不顾死活的家伙。还有，我的女恩主一旦听到这件事，也许不会赞成。前思后想，最后还是决定把讨债鬼留在伦敦。
我所乘的是在下午开出的一班马车，这时正值冬季来临，所以要到天黑之后两三个小时才能抵达目的地。马车从交叉钥匙形的旅馆招牌那里开出的时间是二时整，因此我提前了一刻钟到达开车地点，由讨债鬼侍候我上车。其实，侍候这个词只是说说而已，如果能够推托，他是不会侍候我的。
在那个时代，到我们家乡去的驿车上通常要装运几个囚犯送到监狱船去。我过去常听人说起这些坐在车顶上面的乘客，而且也不止一次地亲眼见到过他们，坐在公路上奔驰的马车顶上，悬着两条戴着镣铐的腿，晃来晃去。所以，这次赫伯特赶到车站的院子里为我送行并告诉我今天有几名罪犯在车上和我同行时，我一点不感到大惊小怪。不过，一听到罪犯这个词我就会不自觉地感到畏缩，其实这早已是陈年往事，也没有必要再闻之失色。
“汉德尔，和囚犯同车你不在意吗？”赫伯特问道。
“噢，我不在意。”
“我看你似乎不喜欢他们，是吗？”
“我不能装出喜欢他们，我想你也不会特别喜欢他们吧。不过我不在意他们。”
“看，他们来了！”赫伯特说道，“他们从一家小酒吧中出来了。他们看上去多么卑鄙下贱啊！”
我猜想这两个犯人是去请他们的差官喝酒的，因为他们旁边有一个看守跟着，三个人从酒吧出来都用手擦着嘴巴。这两个犯人手上戴着手铐，腿上戴着脚镣——这种镣铐的样式我很熟悉。他们穿的衣服我也很熟悉。他们的看守带着两把手枪，胳肢窝下还夹着一根结结实实的大头棒，不过他对两个犯人倒很体贴，让他们站在他的旁边，一起看着套马车；从他的态度上看，这两个犯人好似暂时还不作正式展出的展品，而他本人则像一位博物馆馆长。两个犯人中有一个比较高些，也比较强壮，但却穿着一套比较小的囚犯号服。也许这个世界大会捉弄人，无论对犯人或自由人都一个样，许多事都神秘莫测。他的双臂双腿就像大大的针插，衣服紧束在身上使身体都变了样，真令人感到荒谬绝伦。他那只半睁半闭的眼睛，我一眼便认了出来，这就是那个我在三个快乐的船夫酒店看到的人。那是个星期六的夜晚，他坐在长靠椅上，用无形的手枪瞄准着我。
一望而知，他还没有认出我来，就好像在这一生中从没有见过我一样。他的眼光飘过来望着我，估价着我的表链，然后他随便吐了一口痰，对另一个囚犯说了些什么，他们两人便一齐大笑起来，接着把两个人铐在一起的手铐眶哪一响，他们便又一齐转过身去，望着别的什么东西了。他们号衣的背后写着很大的号码，好像是两扇街道店铺的门。他们皮肤上生着癞疮，又粗糙又难看，真像低等动物。他们腿部过镣铐的地方扎着手帕，也许是为了挡住羞耻。大家都望着他们，却又躲开他们。正如赫伯特所说，他们太卑鄙、太下贱了，简直令人难以人目。
这可不是最糟的事，最糟的事还在后面。问题在于车顶上的那块地方已经由一户搬离伦敦的人家放满了东西，因此这两个犯人便没有地方坐了，只有坐在车夫后面的一排前座上。有一个易发怒的旅客原来预定的是前排第四个座位，这一来便大动肝火。他说这是破坏合约的行为，竟然让他和如此的无赖同坐，这简直是恶毒的、坏心肠的、卑鄙下流的和可耻的等等，一切骂人的话都用上了。这时马车已准备就绪，车夫本人也不耐烦了，我们全体旅客正准备上车，两个犯人和他们的看守也来了。他们一来就带来一股面包肉汤的气味，还有粗呢子气味、搓绳场的麻绳气味以及炉石的气味。
“先生，请不要太介意这件事，”看守向那位发脾气的旅客恳求说，“我来坐在你的旁边，让他们两人坐在边上好了。他们一定不会妨碍你的，先生。你只当根本没有这两个人就是了。”
“不要怪我，”那位我认识的犯人大声喝道，“我本来就不想去，我本来就想留下来。依我所想，谁来代替我都欢迎。”
“也欢迎代替我，”另一个犯人也粗鲁地说道，“如果以我的方式做，我一定不会妨碍大家。”说毕他们两人大笑起来，并且开始剥硬果吃，果壳随便乱吐。我想，要是我自己也处于他们这种境况，如此地受人轻蔑，我一定也会和他们的行为一样。
最后，对于这位怒气冲冲的先生来讲毫无补救的余地，要么他认倒霉，和犯人同坐，要么等到下一班再走。他还是上了车，嘴里仍然是抱怨不断，骂骂咧咧的。看守坐在他的旁边，两个犯人也费力地爬上了车。我认识的那位犯人正坐在我后面，嘴里的热气全呼在我的头发上。
车子离开时，赫伯特对我说：“汉德尔，再见！”我心里暗想，多么幸运啊，亏他给我起了个名字，而没有叫我皮普。
要描述这位犯人的呼气有多么剧烈是不可能的，不仅一口口热气喷在我后脑勺上，而且顺着我的脊梁骨向各处分散，一直钻进我的骨髓，还带着一股酸味，一直酸到牙齿的根上。他呼出的气比任何一个人都多，呼气的声音也比任何一个人都响亮。我只有蜷缩身体，尽量忍受住他的呼气，不过这样一来，我感到自己一边的肩越耸越高。
天气是要人命的阴湿，这两个犯人一直在抱怨着寒冷。马车还没有走多远，我们大家似乎都进入了冬眠状态，感觉迟钝，兴趣索然。马车一过中途的驿站，我们干脆哆哆嗦嗦地打起瞌睡来，一声不响地保持着安静。我思考着究竟要不要在他离开马车之前把两镑钱还给这位犯人，用什么样的方法还更好，就这样我自己也沉入了梦乡。突然，我身子向前一冲，好像自己要跳进马群里一样，在一阵惊恐之中醒来，于是刚才的问题又出现在心中。
我想我一定睡着了很长时间，因为车外一片黑暗，闪烁着摇晃的灯影。虽然我双眼辨别不清外面的事物，可是车外吹来阴冷潮湿的风却使我嗅到了故乡沼泽地的气息。我后面的两位犯人缩成一团，越来越靠近我，看来把我当成为他们挡住冷气的屏风了。我听到他们正在谈话，听到的第一件事正是我在思考的“两张一英镑钞票”。
“他怎么弄到的？”那位我从未见到过的犯人问道。
“我怎么知道？”另一位犯人答道，“他弄到后也不知道藏在什么地方。总之，我想，是朋友送他的吧。”
另一位犯人骂了一声寒冷的天气，说：“要是现在有可多好。”
“有两张一英镑钞票，还是有朋友？”
“有两镑钞票。我可以为一张一英镑钞票出卖所有的朋友，一英镑钞票便可以成交。唔，所以他说——？”
“所以他说，”我认识的那位犯人答道，“他在船坞里的一堆木材后面对我说的，只不过半分钟时间，他说，‘你很快就要被放出去！’是的，那时我就要释放了。他问我愿不愿意找到那个给过他饭吃又为他保守了秘密的孩子，把这两张一英镑的钞票给他。我答应了他，我也做到了。”
“你这个天大的傻瓜，”另一位犯人愤愤地说，“要是换成我，老子就要像个人一样花个痛快，去吃喝一顿。他一定是个生手。你不是说他对你一无所知吗？”
“他不认识我，我们是两帮子，关在两条船上。后来他因为越狱，抓住后被判为无期徒刑。”
“说真的，你在这一带乡下干活只那么一次，是吗？”
“就只一次。”
“你对这儿有什么看法？”
“这是个最恶劣的地方，泥泞、大雾、沼泽、苦役；苦役、大雾、沼泽。泥泞。”
他们两人都用最刻毒的语言咒骂这个地方，最后骂得没有词了，才慢慢地停了下来。
我偷听了他们的这一段对话之后，真想立刻下车，离开这里，躲到公路上一处僻静黑暗的地方。幸亏这个犯人没有对我产生怀疑，没有认出我来。确实，我本人也长大了，完全变了样，穿的衣服不同了，所处的地位也不同了，如果不遇到特殊情况，没有神鬼的帮助，任他怎样也不会把我认出来的。不过话又说回来，天下事无奇不有，这次既然能偶然巧合同乘一辆马车，就完全可能有另外的巧合，说不定在什么时候，哪里冒出一个人直呼我的名字，他们一听就会认出我。正是出于这一担心，我决定马车一进镇子就下车，及早离开他们远远的。我的这一设想实施得相当成功，小手提箱就放在车厢里我的脚旁，不用费劲就可把箱子拉出来。当车子停在镇口第一处石级上的第一盏路灯旁时，我先把手提箱放下车，随即自己也跳下了车。至于这两个罪犯，他们还得随马车而去，我知道他们要被押送到那条河边。在我的脑海中，仿佛出现了一条由犯人划的船，正在一处被泥溅得又脏又滑的小码头边等着；耳朵中仿佛又听到了像骂狗似的粗鲁声音：“你们快划！”眼睛仿佛又看到了在那一片黑色的水面上停着一艘罪孽深重的挪亚方舟。
我根本说不出自己究竟怕什么，因为我的担心是说不清的，是模糊的，只是有一种莫大的恐惧压在心头。一路向着旅馆走去的时候，我感到有一种恐惧，这种恐惧不是仅仅怕被认出来而感到痛苦和难受，而且也就是这种恐惧使我瑟瑟发抖。现在想起来，那时的恐惧是说不出缘由的，莫名其妙的，只不过是童年时代的恐惧暂时复苏而已。
蓝野猪饭店的咖啡厅中空无一人，直到我叫了饭菜，坐下来开始用膳时，茶房才认出了我。他连忙向我道歉，说一时没有想起来，并且问我，是不是要派人去给彭波契克先生送个信？”
“用不着，”我说道，“确实用不着。”
这位茶房就是上次我和乔定师徒合同在这里吃饭时，跑上来转达楼下客商提出严重抗议的茶房。他听了我的口答，显得很惊奇，抓紧机会递过一张肮脏的旧报纸，我拿起来读到下面一段文章：
“不久前，本镇附近的一家铁匠铺中，有一位青年铁匠传奇般地飞黄腾达了。想来读者对此一定颇感兴趣（但愿本镇的作家、本专栏的诗人托比，能够运用他的诗才，对此作一佳文，虽然他目前尚未名扬天下）。这位青年的早期恩主、同伴和朋友，是一位非常值得尊敬的人，他从事粮食和种子生意，公司宽敞方便，设备齐全，在大街的百里之内，久负盛名。这位恩主简直和《奥德赛》中泰勒马库斯的老师一样，我们听之不能无动于衷。他为别人奠定下了幸福的基础，我们都该引以为骄傲。我镇是否有善于深思的圣贤或者能明察事理的佳丽想探求一下究竞是谁得到如此幸运？我们只要一提大画家昆丁•莫赛斯曾经是安特卫普的铁匠，就一语道破天机，无须穷究。”
从大量的经验事实我可以断定，在我飞黄腾达的日子里，即使我去到北极，不论遇到的是游牧的爱斯基摩人，或是文明人，都会对我说，我早年的恩公、我幸运的奠基人不是别人，乃是彭波契克。
Chapter 29
BETIMES in the morning I was up and out. It was too early yet to go to Miss Havisham's, so I loitered into the country on Miss Havisham's side of town - which was not Joe's side; I could go there to-morrow - thinking about my patroness, and painting brilliant pictures of her plans for me. 
She had adopted Estella, she has as good as adopted me, and it could not fail to be her intention to bring us together. She reserved it for me to restore the desolate house, admit the sunshine into the dark rooms, set the clocks a going and the cold hearths a blazing, tear down the cobwebs, destroy the vermin - in short, do all the shining deeds of the young Knight of romance, and marry the Princess. I had stopped to look at the house as I passed; and its seared red brick walls, blocked windows, and strong green ivy clasping even the stacks of chimneys with its twigs and tendons, as if with sinewy old arms, had made up a rich attractive mystery, of which I was the hero. Estella was the inspiration of it, and the heart of it, of course. But, though she had taken such strong possession of me, though my fancy and my hope were so set upon her, though her influence on my boyish life and character had been all-powerful, I did not, even that romantic morning, invest her with any attributes save those she possessed. I mention this in this place, of a fixed purpose, because it is the clue by which I am to be followed into my poor labyrinth. According to my experience, the conventional notion of a lover cannot be always true. The unqualified truth is, that when I loved Estella with the love of man, I loved her simply because I found her irresistible. Once for all; I knew to my sorrow, often and often, if not always, that I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be. Once for all; I loved her none the less because I knew it, and it had no more influence in restraining me, than if I had devoutly believed her to be human perfection.
I so shaped out my walk as to arrive at the gate at my old time. When I had rung at the bell with an unsteady hand, I turned my back upon the gate, while I tried to get my breath and keep the beating of my heart moderately quiet. I heard the side door open, and steps come across the court-yard; but I pretended not to hear, even when the gate swung on its rusty hinges.
Being at last touched on the shoulder, I started and turned. I started much more naturally then, to find myself confronted by a man in a sober grey dress. The last man I should have expected to see in that place of porter at Miss Havisham's door.
`Orlick!'
`Ah, young master, there's more changes than yours. But come in, come in. It's opposed to my orders to hold the gate open.'
I entered and he swung it, and locked it, and took the key out. `Yes!' said he, facing round, after doggedly preceding me a few steps towards the house. `Here I am!'
`How did you come here?'
`I come her,' he retorted, `on my legs. I had my box brought alongside me in a barrow.'
`Are you here for good?'
`I ain't her for harm, young master, I suppose?'
I was not so sure of that. I had leisure to entertain the retort in my mind, while he slowly lifted his heavy glance from the pavement, up my legs and arms, to my face.
`Then you have left the forge?' I said.
`Do this look like a forge?' replied Orlick, sending his glance all round him with an air of injury. `Now, do it look like it?'
I asked him how long he had left Gargery's forge?
`One day is so like another here,' he replied, `that I don't know without casting it up. However, I come her some time since you left.'
`I could have told you that, Orlick.'
`Ah!' said he, drily. `But then you've got to be a scholar.'
By this time we had come to the house, where I found his room to be one just within the side door, with a little window in it looking on the court-yard. In its small proportions, it was not unlike the kind of place usually assigned to a gate-porter in Paris. Certain keys were hanging on the wall, to which he now added the gatekey; and his patchwork-covered bed was in a little inner division or recess. The whole had a slovenly confined and sleepy look, like a cage for a human dormouse: while he, looming dark and heavy in the shadow of a corner by the window, looked like the human dormouse for whom it was fitted up - as indeed he was.
`I never saw this room before,' I remarked; `but there used to be no Porter here.'
`No,' said he; `not till it got about that there was no protection on the premises, and it come to be considered dangerous, with convicts and Tag and Rag and Bobtail going up and down. And then I was recommended to the plàce as a man who could give another man as good as he brought, and I took it. It's easier than bellowsing and hammering. - That's loaded, that is.'
My eye had been caught by a gun with a brass bound stock over the chimney-piece, and his eye had followed mine.
`Well,' said I, not desirous of more conversation, `shall I go up to Miss Havisham?'
`Burn me, if I know!' he retorted, first stretching himself and then shaking himself; `my orders ends here, young master. I give this here bell a rap with this here hammer, and you go on along the passage till you meet somebody.'
`I am expected, I believe?'
`Burn me twice over, if I can say!' said he.
Upon that, I turned down the long passage which I had first trodden in my thick boots, and he made his bell sound. At the end of the passage, while the bell was still reverberating, I found Sarah Pocket: who appeared to have now become constitutionally green and yellow by reason of me.
`Oh!' said she. `You, is it, Mr Pip?'
`It is, Miss Pocket. I am glad to tell you that Mr Pocket and family are all well.'
`Are they any wiser?' said Sarah, with a dismal shake of the head; `they had better be wiser, than well. Ah, Matthew, Matthew!You know your way, sir?'
Tolerably, for I had gone up the staircase in the dark, many a time. I ascended it now, in lighter boots than of yore, and tapped in my old way at the door of Miss Havisham's room. `Pip's rap,' I heard her say, immediately; `come in, Pip.'
She was in her chair near the old table, in the old dress, with her two hands crossed on her stick, her chin resting on them, and her eyes on the fire. Sitting near her, with the white shoe that had never been worn, in her hand, and her head bent as she looked at it, was an elegant lady whom I had never seen.
`Come in, Pip,' Miss Havisham continued to mutter, without looking round or up; `come in, Pip, how do you do, Pip? so you kiss my hand as if I were a queen, eh? - Well?'
She looked up at me suddenly, only moving her eyes, and repeated in a grimly playful manner,
`Well?'
`I heard, Miss Havisham,' said I, rather at a loss, `that you were so kind as to wish me to come and see you, and I came directly.'
`Well?'
The lady whom I had never seen before, lifted up her eyes and looked archly at me, and then I saw that the eyes were Estella's eyes. But she was so much changed, was so much more beautiful, so much more womanly, in all things winning admiration had made such wonderful advance, that I seemed to have made none. I fancied, as I looked at her, that I slipped hopelessly back into the coarse and common boy again. O the sense of distance and disparity that came upon me, and the inaccessibility that came about her!
She gave me her hand. I stammered something about the pleasure I felt in seeing her again, and about my having looked forward to it for a long, long time.
`Do you find her much changed, Pip?' asked Miss Havisham, with her greedy look, and striking her stick upon a chair that stood between them, as a sign to me to sit down there.
`When I came in, Miss Havisham, I thought there was nothing of Estella in the face or figure; but now it all settles down so curiously into the old--'
`What? You are not going to say into the old Estella?' Miss Havisham interrupted. `She was proud and insulting, and you wanted to go away from her. Don't you remember?'
I said confusedly that that was long ago, and that I knew no better then, and the like. Estella smiled with perfect composure, and said she had no doubt of my having been quite right, and of her having been very disagreeable.
`Is he changed?' Miss Havisham asked her.
`Very much,' said Estella, looking at me.
`Less coarse and common?' said Miss Havisham, playing with Estella's hair.
Estella laughed, and looked at the shoe in her hand, and laughed again, and looked at me, and put the shoe down. She treated me as a boy still, but she lured me on.
We sat in the dreamy room among the old strange influences which had so wrought upon me, and I learnt that she had but just come home from France, and that she was going to London. Proud and wilful as of old, she had brought those qualities into such subjection to her beauty that it was impossible and out of nature - or I thought so - to separate them from her beauty. Truly it was impossible to dissociate her presence from all those wretched hankerings after money and gentility that had disturbed my boyhood - from all those ill-regulated aspirations that had first made me ashamed of home and Joe - from all those visions that had raised her face in the glowing fire, struck in out of the iron on the anvil, extracted it from the darkness of night to look in at the wooden window of the forge and flit away. In a word, it was impossible for me to separate her, in the past or in the present, from the innermost life of my life.
It was settled that I should stay there all the rest of the day, and return to the hotel at night, and to London to-morrow. When we had conversed for a while, Miss Havisham sent us two out to walk in the neglected garden: on our coming in by-and-by, she said, I should wheel her about a little as in times of yore.
So, Estella and I went out into the garden by the gate through which I had strayed to my encounter with the pale young gentleman, now Herbert; I, trembling in spirit and worshipping the very hem of her dress; she, quite composed and most decidedly not worshipping the hem of mine. As we drew near to the place of encounter, she stopped and said:
`I must have been a singular little creature to hide and see that fight that day: but I did, and I enjoyed it very much.'
`You rewarded me very much.'
`Did I?' she replied, in an incidental and forgetful way. `I remember I entertained a great objection to your adversary, because I took it ill that he should be brought here to pester me with his company.'
`He and I are great friends now.'
`Are you? I think I recollect though, that you read with his father?'
`Yes.'
I made the admission with reluctance, for it seemed to have a boyish look, and she already treated me more than enough like a boy.
`Since your change of fortune and prospects, you have changed your companions,' said Estella.
`Naturally,' said I.
`And necessarily,' she added, in a haughty tone; `what was fit company for you once, would be quite unfit company for you now.'
In my conscience, I doubt very much whether I had any lingering intention left, of going to see Joe; but if I had, this observation put it to flight.
`You had no idea of your impending good fortune, in those times?' said Estella, with a slight wave of her hand, signifying in the fighting times.
`Not the least.'
The air of completeness and superiority with which she walked at my side, and the air of youthfulness and submission with which I walked at hers, made a contrast that I strongly felt. It would have rankled in me more than it did, if I had not regarded myself as eliciting it by being so set apart for her and assigned to her.
The garden was too overgrown and rank for walking in with ease, and after we had made the round of it twice or thrice, we came out again into the brewery yard. I showed her to a nicety where I had seen her walking on the casks, that first old day, and she said, with a cold and careless look in that direction, `Did I?' I reminded her where she had come out of the house and given me my meat and drink, and she said, `I don't remember.' `Not remember that you made me cry?' said I. `No,' said she, and shook her head and looked about her. I verily believe that her not remembering and not minding in the least, made me cry again, inwardly - and that is the sharpest crying of all.
`You must know,' said Estella, condescending to me as a brilliant and beautiful woman might, `that I have no heart - if that has anything to do with my memory.'
I got through some jargon to the effect that I took the liberty of doubting that. That I knew better. That there could be no such beauty without it.
`Oh! I have a heart to be stabbed in or shot in, I have no doubt,' said Estella, `and, of course, if it ceased to beat I should cease to be. But you know what I mean. I have no softness there, no - sympathy - sentiment - nonsense.'
What was it that was borne in upon my mind when she stood still and looked attentively at me? Anything that I had seen in Miss Havisham? No. In some of her looks and gestures there was that tinge of resemblance to Miss Havisham which may often be noticed to have been acquired by children, from grown person with whom they have been much associated and secluded, and which, when childhood is passed, will produce a remarkable occasional likeness of expression between faces that are otherwise quite different. And yet I could not trace this to Miss Havisham. I looked again, and though she was still looking at me, the suggestion was gone.
What was it?
`I am serious,' said Estella, not so much with a frown (for her brow was smooth) as with a darkening of her face; `if we are to be thrown much together, you had better believe it at once. No!' imperiously stopping me as I opened my lips. `I have not bestowed my tenderness anywhere. I have never had any such thing.'
In another moment we were in the brewery so long disused, as she pointed to the high gallery where I had seen her going out on that same first day, and told me she remembered to have been up there, and to have seen me standing scared below. As my eyes followed her white hand, again the same dim suggestion that I could not possibly grasp, crossed me. My involuntary start occasioned her to lay her hand upon my arm. Instantly the ghost passed once more, and was gone.
What was it?
`What is the matter?' asked Estella. `Are you scared again?'
`I should be, if I believed what you said just now,' I replied, to turn it off.
`Then you don't? Very well. It is said, at any rate. Miss Havisham will soon be expecting you at your old post, though I think that might be laid aside now, with other old belongings. Let us make one more round of the garden, and then go in. Come! You shall not shed tears for my cruelty to-day; you shall be my Page, and give me your shoulder.'
Her handsome dress had trailed upon the ground. She held it in one hand now, and with the other lightly touched my shoulder as we walked. We walked round the ruined garden twice or thrice more, and it was all in bloom for me. If the green and yellow growth of weed in the chinks of the old wall had been the most precious flowers that ever blew, it could not have been more cherished in my remembrance.
There was no discrepancy of years between us, to remove her far from me; we were of nearly the same age, though of course the age told for more in her case than in mine; but the air of inaccessibility which her beauty and her manner gave her, tormented me in the midst of my delight, and at the height of the assurance I felt that out patroness had chosen us for one another. Wretched boy!
At last we went back into the house, and there I heard, with surprise, that my guardian had come down to see Miss Havisham on business, and would come back to dinner. The old wintry branches of chandeliers in the room where the mouldering table was spread, had been lighted while we were out, and Miss Havisham was in her chair and waiting for me.
It was like pushing the chair itself back into the past, when we began the old slow circuit round about the ashes of the bridal feast. But, in the funereal room, with that figure of the grave fallen back in the chair fixing its eyes upon her, Estella looked more bright and beautiful than before, and I was under stronger enchantment.
The time so melted away, that our early dinner-hour drew close at hand, and Estella left us to prepare herself. We had stopped near the centre of the long table, and Miss Havisham, with one of her withered arms stretched out of the chair, rested that clenched hand upon the yellow cloth. As Estella looked back over her shoulder before going out at the door, Miss Havisham kissed that hand to her, with a ravenous intensity that was of its kind quite dreadful.
Then, Estella being gone and we two left alone, she turned to me, and said in a whisper:
`Is she beautiful, graceful, well-grown? Do you admire her?'
`Everybody must who sees her, Miss Havisham.'
She drew an arm round my neck, and drew my head close down to hers as she sat in the chair. `Love her, love her, love her! How does she use you?'
Before I could answer (if I could have answered so difficult a question at all), she repeated, `Love her, love her, love her! If she favours you, love her. If she wounds you, love her. If she tears your heart to pieces - and as it gets older and stronger, it will tear deeper - love her, love her, love her!'
Never had I seen such passionate eagerness as was joined to her utterance of these words. I could feel the muscles of the thin arm round my neck, swell with the vehemence that possessed her.
`Hear me, Pip! I adopted her to be loved. I bred her and educated her, to be loved. I developed her into what she is, that she might be loved. Love her!'
She said the word often enough, and there could be no doubt that she meant to say it; but if the often repeated word had been hate instead of love - despair - revenge - dire death - it could not have sounded from her lips more like a curse.
`I'll tell you,' said she, in the same hurried passionate whisper, `what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter - as I did!'
When she came to that, and to a wild cry that followed that, I caught her round the waist. For she rose up in the chair, in her shroud of a dress, and struck at the air as if she would as soon have struck herself against the wall and fallen dead.
All this passed in a few seconds. As I drew her down into her chair, I was conscious of a scent that I knew, and turning, saw my guardian in the room.
He always carried (I have not yet mentioned it, I think) a pocket-handkerchief of rich silk and of imposing proportions, which was of great value to him in his profession. I have seen him so terrify a client or a witness by ceremoniously unfolding this pocket-handkerchief as if he were immediately going to blow his nose, and then pausing, as if he knew he should not have time to do it before such client or witness committed himself, that the self-committal has followed directly, quite as a matter of course. When I saw him in the room, he had this expressive pockethandkerchief in both hands, and was looking at us. On meeting my eye, he said plainly, by a momentary and silent pause in that attitude, `Indeed? Singular!' and then put the handkerchief to its right use with wonderful effect.
Miss Havisham had seen him as soon as I, and was (like everybody else) afraid of him. She made a strong attempt to compose herself, and stammered that he was as punctual as ever.
`As punctual as ever,' he repeated, coming up to us. `(How do you do, Pip? Shall I give you ride, Miss Havisham? Once round?) And so you are here, Pip?'
I told him when I had arrived, and how Miss Havisham had wished me to come and see Estella. To which he replied, `Ah!Very fine young lady!' Then he pushed Miss Havisham in her chair before him, with one of his large hands, and put the other in his trousers-pocket as if the pocket were full of secrets.
`Well, Pip! How often have you seen Miss Estella before?' said he, when he came to a stop.
`How often?'
`Ah! How many times? Ten thousand times?'
`Oh! Certainly not so many.'
`Twice?'
`Jaggers,' interposed Miss Havisham, much to my relief; `leave my Pip alone, and go with him to your dinner.'
He complied, and we groped our way down the dark stairs together. While we were still on our way to those detached apartments across the paved yard at the back, he asked me how often I had seen Miss Havisham eat and drink; offering me a breadth of choice, as usual, between a hundred times and once.
I considered, and said, `Never.'
`And never will, Pip,' he retorted, with a frowning smile. `She has never allowed herself to be seen doing either, since she lived this present life of hers. She wanders about in the night, and then lays hands on such food as she takes.'
`Pray, sir,' said I, `may I ask you a question?'
`You may,' said he, `and I may decline to answer it. Put your question.'
`Estella's name. Is it Havisham or - ?' I had nothing to add.
`Or what?' said he.
`Is it Havisham?'
`It is Havisham.'
This brought us to the dinner-table, where she and Sarah Pocket awaited us. Mr. Jaggers presided, Estella sat opposite to him, I faced my green and yellow friend. We dined very well, and were waited on by a maid-servant whom I had never seen in all my comings and goings, but who, for anything I know, had been in that mysterious house the whole time. After dinner, a bottle of choice old port was placed before my guardian (he was evidently well acquainted with the vintage), and the two ladies left us.
Anything to equal the determined reticence of Mr Jaggers under that roof, I never saw elsewhere, even in him. He kept his very looks to himself, and scarcely directed his eyes to Estella's face once during dinner. When she spoke to him, he listened, and in due course answered, but never looked at her, that I could see. On the other hand, she often looked at him, with interest and curiosity, if not distrust, but his face never, showed the least consciousness. Throughout dinner he took a dry delight in making Sarah Pocket greener and yellower, by often referring in conversation with me to my expectations; but here, again, he showed no consciousness, and even made it appear that he extorted - and even did extort, though I don't know how - those references out of my innocent self.
And when he and I were left alone together, he sat with an air upon him of general lying by in consequence of information he possessed, that really was too much for me. He cross-examined his very wine when he had nothing else in hand. He held it between himself and the candle, tasted the port, rolled it in his mouth, swallowed it, looked at his glass again, smelt the port, tried it, drank it, filled again, and cross-examined the glass again, until I was as nervous as if I had known the wine to be telling him something to my disadvantage. Three or four times I feebly thought I would start conversation; but whenever he saw me going to ask him anything, he looked at me with his glass in his hand, and rolling his wine about in his mouth, as if requesting me to take notice that it was of no use, for he couldn't answer.
I think Miss Pocket was conscious that the sight of me involved her in the danger of being goaded to madness, and perhaps tearing off her cap - which was a very hideous one, in the nature of a muslin mop - and strewing the ground with her hair - which assuredly had never grown on her head. She did not appear when we afterwards went up to Miss Havisham's room, and we four played at whist. In the interval, Miss Havisham, in a fantastic way, had put some of the most beautiful jewels from her dressing-table into Estella's hair, and about her bosom and arms; and I saw even my guardian look at her from under his thick eyebrows, and raise them a little, when her loveliness was before him, with those rich flushes of glitter and colour in it.
Of the manner and extent to which he took our trumps into custody, and came out with mean little cards at the ends of hands, before which the glory of our Kings and Queens was utterly abased, I say nothing; nor, of the feeling that I had, respecting his looking upon us personally in the light of three very obvious and poor riddles that he had found out long ago. What I suffered from, was the incompatibility between his cold presence and my feelings towards Estella. It was not that I knew I could never bear to speak to him about her, that I knew I could never bear to hear him creak his boots at her, that I knew I could never bear to see him wash his hands of her; it was, that my admiration should be within a foot or two of him - it was, that my feelings should be in the same place with him - that, was the agonizing circumstance.
We played until nine o'clock, and then it was arranged that when Estella came to London I should be forewarned of her coming and should meet her at the coach; and then I took leave of her, and touched her and left her.
My guardian lay at the Boar in the next room to mine. Far into the night, Miss Havisham's words, `Love her, love her, love her!' sounded in my ears. I adapted them for my own repetition, and said to my pillow, `I love her, I love her, I love her!' hundreds of times. Then, a burst of gratitude came upon me, that she should be destined for me, once the blacksmith's boy. Then, I thought if she were, as I feared, by no means rapturously grateful for that destiny yet, when would she begin to be interested in me? When should I awaken the heart within her, that was mute and sleeping now?
Ah me! I thought those were high and great emotions. But I never thought there was anything low and small in my keeping away from Joe, because I knew she would be contemptuous of him. It was but a day gone, and Joe had brought the tears into my eyes; they had soon dried, God forgive me! soon dried.
 
第二天一早我便起身，然后走到外边。由于天时过早，还不能到郝维仙小姐家去，所以我便在街上闲逛，向郝维仙小姐住的那个方向走去。那不是到乔那里的方向，我可以明天到乔那里去。我一路想着我的女恩主，幻想着她为我安排的一切锦绣前程。
她收养了埃斯苔娜，现在也等于收养了我，她不可能不对我们两人的联姻作出精心的安排。她要把恢复荒芜家园的重担交付给我，要我重新把阳光引进黑暗的房间，把停止走动的钟重新拨准，把冰冷的壁炉再次燃旺，把蛛网撕开，把一切害虫消灭，简而言之，要我像传奇的年轻骑士一样，做出光辉的事业，然后和公主成婚。我停下步子向我经过的宅邸张望，一排憔悴的红砖墙，所有的窗户都已堵塞；刚健强壮郁郁葱葱的绿色常春藤沿烟囱攀爬而上，四面伸开它的嫩枝和筋蔓，好像是老人筋肉结实的胳膊，构成了一处丰富多彩、引人人胜的神秘所在，而我就是这神秘所在的英雄。埃斯苔娜是这儿的灵气，是这儿的中心，这是理所当然的。不过，虽说她已经俘获了我的灵魂，虽说我把我全部的幻想和希望都倾注在她的身上，虽说她对我童年时代的生活与性格的形成有着巨大的整体性的影响，但我不会说她有什么优良的品质，她只是迷了我的心窍，即使在这具有浪漫意义的早晨也是如此。我在这里特别提到这一个问题，是出自一种明确的目的，因为这是一条线索，顺着这条线索我被引进了不幸的迷宫。就我个人的亲身体会而言，世人那种对情人的传统看法不可能永远是真的。不容辩驳的真相是，当我以一个男人的情感爱上埃斯苔娜时，仅仅是因为我发现有一种内在的抑制不住的情感非爱她不可。一旦爱上了她，我就再也不能不爱她。我自然了解这对我会带来多少的悲伤与痛苦，而且这些悲哀时时刻刻缠绕住我，日日夜夜萦绕在心头。我爱她是违背常理、是妨碍前程、是失去自制、是破灭希望、是断送幸福、是注定要尝尽一切的沮丧和失望的，可是，一旦爱上了她，我再也不能不爱她。虽然我知道这一切，可是我对她的爱一分也不会减少，也不会使我有所克制，相反，我却更把她奉为人间最优秀的绝代佳丽。
我计算好散步的时间，来到大门前，刚好是昔日来到这里的时刻。于是我伸出颤抖着不听使唤的手拉了门铃，立即背转过身子，深深地吸了一口气，尽量使激烈的心跳平稳下来。我听到里面边门打开的声音，听到从院子里走过来的脚步声。当大门随着生锈的铰链吱呀一声打开时，我有意装着没有听见。
有人在我肩膀上拍了一下，使我惊得回过头来。更使我吃惊的是，站在我面前的是一位穿深灰衣服的男人。我真没有料到在郝维仙小姐的家门口，在这样一处所在，竟遇到这样一个人。
“奥立克！”
“噢！小少爷。不光你变了，一切都变了。不过，还是快进来。不然，把大门老开着，这是违反主人命令的。”
我一走进去，他便关上门，又上了锁，把钥匙抽出来。他只顾领我向里面走去，走了几步转过面孔来对我说：“我现在可到了这里了！”
“你怎么会来到这里的？”
他用带有责备性的口吻说道：“我是用两条腿走来的，行李是用车子推来的。”
“你以后就好好呆在这里了？”
“小少爷，我看我可不是在这里捣乱的。”
对于他讲的话我不敢确信，在心中细细推敲着，他那些带有责备语气的话。这时，他缓慢地把他迟钝的眼光从铺石地面上抬起，然后从我的脚尖移到我的双腿，再移到我的胳膊，最后移到我的脸上。
“那么你已经离开铁匠铺了？”我问道。
“你看这里像个铁匠铺吗？”奥立克答道，用受了侮辱般的神气向四周望望，“你说，这里像不像铁匠铺？”
我问他离开葛奇里的铁匠铺已经有多长时间了。
“在这里天天都差不多，”他答道，“我没有计算过，不知道有多久了。不过，你走后，我过了一阵就来到了这里。”
“这话你不说我也知道，奥立克。”
他冷淡地对我说道：“噢！那你得是个学问家。”
这时我们已经走到室内，我看到了他住的房间，就在边门里面，有一扇小小的窗户正对着院子。从比例上看，这间房子很小，和巴黎看门人的小房间比起来，无论从哪方面讲都没有什么不同。各种不同的钥匙挂在墙上，这时他把大门的钥匙也挂在了上面。墙壁凹进去的地方摆着他的床，上面铺着补丁叠补丁的被子。整间屋子的面貌很不整洁。很狭窄，而且令人昏昏沉沉的，就好像是关了一只人形睡鼠的笼子。他像幽灵似的站在窗边一角的阴影之中，又黑又笨，真像关在笼子中的人形睡鼠，其实，他又何尝不是人形睡鼠呢？
“过去我从来没有见过这里有个房间，”我说道，“不过，过去也没有看门的人。”
“没有看门人，”他说道，“那是过去的事。后来流言很多，在这么一大幢房子里没有保护措施肯定是很危险的，这个地方有逃犯，有毛贼，有坏蛋，有乌合之众，他们来来往往。所以，有人介绍我到这里来，说我可以对付一两个人，我就接受了。这里比起拉风箱和破铁锤来可容易得多了。那是装了子弹的，真的。”
我看到在壁炉上面放了一支枪，枪托包着铜皮，他的目光也随着我望着枪。“好吧，”我说道（因为我不想和他谈更多的话），“我现在可以去看郝维仙小姐吗？”
“我要是知道，就烧死我！”他顶了我一句，先伸了伸懒腰，然后晃动着身子，“少爷，我的任务仅此而已。现在，我在这里用锤子把这个钟敲一下，你沿着过道走去，直到遇见人招呼你。”
“我想，里面正等着我呢。”
“我要是知道，就烧死我两次！”他说道。
他说完，我便转向长长的过道。我记得第一次来时，我曾穿着笨重的皮靴子踏着这条过道。这时，奥立克敲响了钟。走到过道的尽头，钟声仍在震荡着余音，我看到了莎娜•鄱凯特。大概是由于我的原因，她的面色变得黄中泛青。
她说道：“噢！是你吗，皮普先生？”
“鄱凯特小姐，是我。我很高兴地给你带来消息，鄱凯特先生和全家人都好。”
“现在他们聪明些了吧？”莎娜阴郁地摇着她的头，“他们真该聪明起来。噢，马休啊，马休啊！先生，你认得路吗？”
以往我在黑暗中爬这道楼梯已有许多次，还能认识怎么走，何况这次我爬楼所穿的皮鞋比以往穿的要轻得多。这次像以往一样，我在郝维仙小姐的门上叩了两下。马上我便听到她的声音：“这是皮普的敲门声；皮普，进来。”
她像过去一样坐在那张老梳妆台的旁边，依旧穿着过去穿的衣服，双手交叉地放在手杖上，下巴搁在双手上，双眼正注视着火炉。坐在她旁边的是一位我从来没有见过的女郎，手上正抓着那只从来未穿过的白色新鞋，低着头仔细地看着。
“进来，皮普。”郝维仙小姐继续喃喃地说着，没有抬头也没有转过头来，“皮普，进来。皮普，你好吗？来，把我当成女王，吻一下我的手，呢？怎么样？”
突然，她抬起双眼望着我，仅仅是抬起眼睛，用严酷的玩笑口气又说了一遍。
“怎么样？”
“郝维仙小姐，你的口信我收到了，”我这时简直不知所措地说道，“谢谢你的好意。你带信要我来看你，所以我这就来了。”
“怎么样？”
那位我过去从来没有见过的女郎抬起了她的眼睛，诡诈地望着我。这时我才认出，这一对眼睛就是埃斯苔娜的眼睛。她是大大地变了，变得更加楚楚动人，更具有女人的魅力，她的一切都值得羡慕赞叹，她取得了很大的进步。而我比起她来，什么长进都没有。我看着她，不由在幻想之中又无药可救地变成了粗鲁的寻常孩子了。我感到我和她之间有距离，而且两者悬殊很大，她简直是不可高攀的天仙。
她把手伸给我。我结结巴巴地说我能又见到她真是太高兴了，我很久很久就盼望着这一天的来到。
“皮普，你觉得她的变化很大吗？”郝维仙小姐问道，神情是那般热切。她用拐杖敲了一下她们两人之间的一张椅子，示意要我坐在上面。
“郝维仙小姐，我一进来时，真看不出这副面容和形体中有任何埃斯苔娜的影子，不过现在定下心来一看，和过去的样子非常地——”
“什么？你说她还是原来的埃斯苔娜？”郝维仙小姐打断了我的话头说道，“那时她又骄傲又会伤害人，你不是想躲开她吗？你还记得这件事吗？”
这一问把我的心绪给打乱了，慌乱地说那些都是昔日旧事，当时我也不懂事，等等。埃斯苔娜微笑着，神情十分沉静。她说我的看法是对的，不过她当时也的确很难对付。
“你看他变了吗？”郝维仙小姐问埃斯苔娜。
“他变化很大。”埃斯苔娜望着我说道。
“不像那时粗鲁了，也不像那时俗气了？”郝维仙小姐一面说着，一面用手摸着埃斯苔娜的头发。
埃斯苔娜大笑起来，看着手上的那只鞋，然后又大笑起来，然后又看看我，最后把鞋放了下来。她依然把我当作一个孩子，另一方面又在诱惑我。
我们坐在幻若梦境的房间中，周围依然是曾经迷惑我心灵的那种神秘气氛。谈话中，我知道她刚刚从巴黎归来，不久又准备奔赴伦敦。埃斯苔娜依然保留着往日的骄傲和任性，不过现在她的骄傲任性只是为了衬托美貌，至少我认为，不能把骄傲任性和美貌分隔开来去看。说句老实话，见到她，我不可能不想起童年时对金钱、对上流社会的可悲热望，这些热望不断地扰乱了我的童心；不可能不想起童年时使我为贫贱出身、为乔的粗鲁而羞愧的那些失控的志向；不可能不想起童年时的幻觉，她的面容会在熊熊的炉火中浮现，会从铁砧上敲打出来，会在深夜的黑暗中显现，从铁匠间的木窗外伸进来张望，仅那么一会儿，便又在黑夜中消失了。总而言之，我不能和她分离，无论是过去，无论是现在，她都深藏在我内心，成为我生命的生命。
我们说定，白天我和她们在一起，晚上回旅馆休息，然后明天返回伦敦。接着，我们继续谈了一会儿后，郝维仙小姐要我们两人到那座荒芜的花园中去散步，她还说，等我们散步回来后，我要像过去一样用车子推着她转几圈。
于是，埃斯苔娜和我便通过一扇门进入了花园。记得我曾经就是因误人了这扇门而遇上那位苍白面孔的少年绅士的，也就是现在的赫伯特。这时我内心万分激动，甚至在微微颤动，多想拜倒在她的石榴裙下，然而她却十分平静，决不会对我有任何崇拜。在我们快走到当年比试的地方时，她停下脚步，对我说道：
“那时候我也是个奇妙的小东西，那一天我躲在一处偷看你们打架，看得很清楚，而且还看得很高兴。”
“你那一天还给了我重赏呢。”
“有这回事吗？”她用一种随意的淡忘神情答道，“我不会忘记你的那个对手，我非常讨厌他，因为他给带到这里来就是要折磨我的，我被他纠缠得真动了气。”
“现在他和我已经是好朋友了。”我说道。
“是吗？我想起来了，你正在他父亲的指导下读书？”
“对”
我简直是勉勉强强地说出这个字的。这完全像一个小孩子的口气，其实她待我不是更像待一个小孩子吗？
“自从你的命运转变以后，和你交往的伙伴也变了。”埃斯苔娜说道。
“这是很自然的。”我答道。
“这也是必然的，”她用高傲的口吻补充道：“以往适合于做你朋友的人，如今就再不适合于做你的朋友了。”
本来，在我的良心深处，我也不能确定是否还有一点踌躇中的愿望，去看一看乔；如今听了她的评论后，即使有这一点愿望，也被赶到九霄云外去了。
“那时，你还不知道近在眼前的远大前程吧？”埃斯苔娜轻轻地挥了一下手，表示所谓那时是指打架的时候。
“一点儿也不知道。”
她走在我身边，完全是一副成熟老练、盛气凌人的架势，而我走在她的身边却一脸的年少幼稚、恭敬服帖。我强烈地感到我们两人之间在气质上的悬殊，要不是我被女恩主挑选出来专门做埃斯苔娜的伴侣，我的内心会有多么地痛苦啊。
整座花园里杂草丛生，四处蔓延，很难找到可落脚之处，所以我们两人在花园中转了两三圈，便离开花园，走进酒坊的院子。我正正经经地指着一处对她说，我过去第一次来到这里时，曾看到她在这些酒桶上面走来走去。她只是淡淡地、漫不经意地朝那个方向看了一眼，说：“真有这回事吗？”我又告诉她，她就是从这间屋子出来给我吃肉和喝啤酒的。她说：“我忘了。”我问她：“你记不记得你让我哭了起来？”她摇摇头向四处望望，说：“忘了，忘了。”听到她左一声忘了，右一声记不起了，这对我的心灵又是一次触动，使我在深深的内心又一次哭起来，而且这次内心的哭泣是所有痛哭之中最伤心的一次。
这时，埃斯苔娜却像一位聪慧美丽的少女一样，深有情意地对我说：“我是无心的，无心做的事情也就记不到心上去。”
我说了几句莫名其妙的话，含义是，对她说的话我不得不斗胆怀疑，我心中有数，哪一位绝色佳人会无心呢。
“哦！我确有一颗心，是可以用刀刺、用子弹射的心，这我毫不怀疑，”埃斯苔娜说道，“而且当然，这颗心一停止跳动，我也就停止活动了。不过，我刚才说的不是这层意思，我当时对人太不温柔——太无情——没有同情——废话。”
她静静地站在那里，神情专注地打量着我。这在我的心灵上唤起了怎样的感受呢？她的那种神情是不是有些像郝维仙小姐呢？不。也许她的行为举止在某些方面是有点像郝维仙小姐的行为举止，可是哪一个孩子不与大人有一点相似呢。但凡与大人朝夕相处，和外界又不联系的孩子，等到少年时代消逝，在面容、表情上是会留下这些相似，尽管两者的整个容貌是迥然不同的。可是我还无法追寻到郝维仙小姐的痕迹。于是，我又望了她一眼，看到她依然静静地站在那里望着我，而刚才出现过的那种神色已消失得无影无踪。
我所看到的是什么呢？
这时埃斯苔娜说道：“我可是认认真真的。”与其说她皱起了眉头，可由于她的额头那么平坦光滑，所以不如说她的面孔显得一团愁云，“要是今后我们会被推到一起，相互相处，你得相信我所说的话。你不用说！”我正想开口说些什么，而她霸道地止住了我，继续说：“不管对谁我都没有动过真情，我也根本没有什么感情。”
不一会儿，我们走到已长久废弃的制酒作坊里，她指着一处高高的走廊对我说，她记得她曾站在那里看到我站在下面哭。我知道那就是我第一次到这里来看到她走过的那处走廊。我的眼光随着她洁白的手指的方向看去，脑海中霎时又出现了那朦朦胧胧的、捉摸不定的联想。我不由自主地惊了一下，这一下竟使她把手扶住了我的肩膀。顷刻之间，那幽灵般的联想又一次消失得无影无踪了。
我所看到的是什么呢？
“怎么回事？”埃斯苔娜问道，“你又被吓住了？”
“我要是相信你刚才所说的话，我自然被吓住了。”我把话题引开道。
“就是说你不相信我所说的，很好。不过，不管怎样我已说清楚了。郝维仙小姐在等你去干那个老行当呢，虽然我认为这个老行当和其他陈旧的东西都可以丢在一边了。好吧，我们到园中再遛上一圈，然后再回去。来！今天我要对你狠一些，你可不许哭；你来当我的仆人，扶着我走。”
她美丽的长裙一直拖在地上，她用一只手撩起裙角，另一只手轻轻地捆在我的肩头上，我们就这样走着。我们在废弃的花园里走了一圈，又一圈，又一圈。对我说来，这一天的花园真是百花齐放、群芳斗艳，即使那老墙缝里长出的青黄野草也成为我从未见到过的奇花异草，成为我记忆中最值得珍视和回味的东西。
我们两人之间，从年岁上讲相差并不多，也难说不可相配，虽然看上去她要比我大一些，但我们还是年龄相仿的。我这时想人非非，觉得我们的女恩主是有意选择我们并相配成对的。正想得兴高采烈时，忽然感到埃斯苔娜那种绝色佳丽是多么难以接近，那傲慢的态度是多么折磨人。哦，我这不幸的可怜孩子！
最后我们回到屋内，我意外地听说我的监护人已经来看望过郝维仙小姐，是为了他们之间的业务，待会儿还要回来吃饭。摆着发霉宴席的那间屋子里，那盏发出寒意的枝形吊灯在我们出去时已经被点亮。郝维仙小姐正坐在她的椅子中等着我。
我推动椅子，好像又推回了已消逝的过去时光，我们又开始围着那早成为尘土的婚宴慢慢地兜圈子。在这阴森森的房间中，椅子上坐着一个僵尸般的人，用眼睛死盯住埃斯苔娜，而埃斯苔娜却如出水芙蓉一般，比以往任何时候都更光彩夺目、美丽绝伦，也更使我心荡神迷。
时光就是如此流逝，用餐的时刻就快到了，埃斯苔娜离开我们干她自己的事去了。我推着椅子在长桌的中部停住，郝维仙小姐从椅子中伸出一条衰弱干枯的手臂，把手提成拳头放在已经发黄的桌布上。埃斯苔娜走到门口，又回过头来张望，郝维仙小姐则举起手对着她做了一个飞吻，神情之炽热好像要一口把她吞掉，说来也真可怕。
埃斯苔娜出去后，剩下我们两人，她转过脸来对我低语道：
“她美吗？她风度好吗？她生得丰满吗？你爱她吗？”
“郝维仙小姐，谁见了她都会爱她的。”
她伸出胳膊搂住我的脖子，把我的头搂到她面前，坐在椅子上说：“你爱她吧，爱她吧，爱她吧！她是怎么对待你的？”
我还没有回答（其实我感到这个问题实在太难回答了），她却又说道：“你爱她吧，爱她吧，爱她吧！如果她喜欢你，爱她；如果她伤害你，也爱她；即使她把你的心撕成碎片，还是要爱她——慢慢随着年龄的增长，你会更坚强，心碎也会更痛苦——你要爱她，爱她，爱她！”
我从来没有见到过她如此满怀情感、热切急迫，我也从来没有听她说过如此的话语。在她说得情绪激动时，我感到她那只搂住我脖子的细细手臂上的肌肉在微微颤动着。
“皮普，我告诉你，我收养她是为了有人爱她；我把她抚养成人，让她受教育，是为了有人爱她；我把她造就成一个完美的女人，就是为了有人爱她，你爱她吧！”
她把爱这个词说了一遍又一遍，无疑，这是发自她肺腑的意愿。她一遍又一遍地说着爱这个词，爱已不再是爱，而是恨，是失望，是复仇，是悲惨的死亡。她一声声所说的爱就是一声声的诅咒，即使她用“失望”、“复仇”这一类的词来说，也比不上“爱”这个词更像诅咒。
“让我来告诉你，”她继续用与刚才一样的匆忙和热情低低地对我说，“什么叫真正的爱。真正的爱就是盲目的奉献，绝对的自卑，完全的服从，无视自己，无视世界，把整颗的心、整个灵魂都交给所爱的人，任其处置，就像我这样。”
她说到这里，随即疯狂地大叫了一声，于是我连忙抱住她的腰。因为她这时从椅子上站了起来，穿着她那裹尸布式的衣服，朝空中乱抓着，仿佛她立刻要向墙上撞去置自己于死地。
所有这一切不过几秒钟就过去了。我刚刚扶她在椅子上坐好，就闻到了一股熟悉的气味，一回头，看到我的监护人已到了房里。
贾格斯先生随身总是带了一方名贵的丝手帕，尺寸大得颇为显眼。这件事以前我没有提及过。这块手帕对于他的公务很有用处。我曾见到过他在当事人或证人面前隆重地摊开他的手帕，好像马上就要针鼻子，可是接着又停住了，好像他没有时间江鼻子，因为他的当事人或证人就要忏悔自己了。自然，他就用这种方法吓得他们连忙竹筒倒豆子式地招了供。这时我看到他在房间里，双手正拿着那块意味深长的手帕，眼睛望着我。当我们两人的目光相对时，他保持着那个姿势，默默无语，那意思分明是说：“真是你？真没有想到！”然后他才拿手帕做正常的用途，效果惊人。
我看到他的同时，郝维仙小姐也看到了他。她也像所有的人一样怕他。她强使自己镇定了一下，结巴着说他和过去一样总是很准时。
“和过去一样总是很准时。”他一面重复着，一面走到了我们的面前，说道，“皮普，你好吗？郝维仙小姐，让我来推你走一圈如何？再走一圈好吗？皮普，原来你也在这里。”
我告诉他我到这里的时间，又说郝维仙小姐希望我来看一看埃斯苔娜。他听后答道：“啊！多么漂亮的年轻女士！”然后，他用一只大手推着郝维仙小姐坐着的椅子，另一只大手插在裤子口袋中，仿佛口袋里深藏着秘密。
“唔，皮普！以往你隔多长时间和埃斯苔娜见一次面？”他停下来的时候对我说。
“隔多长时间？”
“哦！你见过她多少次？有一万次吗？”
“噢！当然没有这么多。”
“有两次吗？”
“贾格斯，”幸亏郝维仙小姐插言；总算解了我的围，“不必再缠住我的皮普了，你和他一起去吃饭吧。”
听了她的话后，贾格斯便和我一起摸着黑暗的楼梯下楼。我们仍然要走进后面铺石板的院子，到那幢独立的房子里去。在路上，他问我是不是常常看到郝维仙小姐吃喝，像往常一样，他给我的选择悬殊太大，要么是见过一百次，要么仅仅一次。
我考虑了一下说道：“我从未见到过。”
“皮普，你永远别想见到她吃喝，”他愁眉苦脸地笑了笑，嘲弄地说，“自从她开始像现在的这种生活，她就从不允许别人看到她吃喝。她总是在夜里走来走去，发现什么东西便拿起来吃一些。”
“先生，”我对他说道，“我可不可以向你提一个问题？”
“可以提，”他说道，“不过我也可以拒绝回答。你提吧。”
“埃斯苔娜姓什么？是郝维仙，还是——？”我再说不出了。
“还是什么？”他说。
“是姓郝维仙吗？”
“是姓郝维仙。”
谈话之间我们来到了餐厅，埃斯苔娜和莎娜•鄱凯特正在那里等着我们。贾格斯先生坐在上位，埃斯苔娜坐在他对面，而我正面对着那位面色青黄的朋友。我们舒舒适适地吃了一餐，服侍大家的是一位女仆。我来来去去那么多次，却从没有见过她。我猜得出，其实这么长时期中，她一直呆在这个神秘的宅子里，不过不为人所见罢了。饭后，一瓶精制的陈年葡萄美酒，被放在了我的监护人面前，他显然是饮惯了这种酒的。这时两位女士起身离开了。
在这座宅邸中，贾格斯先生总是保持着他绝对的沉默寡言，在别处我从没有见过他如此的模样。他的目光只注视着自己，在进餐的整个过程中几乎没有正眼看过埃斯苔娜的面孔。她对他说话时，他静听着，需要回答时他照例回答，可我发现他就是不看她。相反的是，她却时常瞧着他，而且是用有趣和好奇的目光瞧着他，一点没有怀疑的神色，可他的面孔上就是找不到蛛丝马迹的表情。在进餐过程中他时常和我攀谈，一个劲地提到我的遗产问题，使得莎娜•鄱凯特的脸上越来越黄，越来越青，他却以此取乐。他对这一切装作无知，而且做得好像我这个人由于天真幼稚，才被他掏出了这许多真话来。我真不知道他有何本领，也确实掏出了我的心里话。
餐厅里就留下我们两个人时，他坐在那里的神态就好像手边掌握了什么秘密消息似的，简直弄得我心中发慌。手中没有别的东西时，他便端起一杯酒反复鉴赏。他先端起酒杯对着烛光，啜一口，在嘴里品尝一下，再吞下去，然后又端详一会儿酒杯，闻一闻酒香，尝一尝，便一饮而尽。一杯喝完他再斟满一杯，端起酒杯重新鉴赏，弄得我头昏脑涨。精神紧张，仿佛那秘密就在酒中，我的把柄被他牢牢掌握了。有三四次我感到非和他谈话不可，可他一看出我想问他什么，便用手端起酒杯，注视着我，把一口酒在嘴里品来品去，仿佛要我注意，问他也是白问，因为他不打算回答。
我想鄱凯特小姐一定认为见到我就像见到了灾垦一样，会使她处于被逼发疯的危险境地，甚至会把自己头上的帽子也扯掉（这顶帽子实在太丑陋了，就像一根棉布拖把），把头发撒得满地（我想她的头发在她的头上根本没有生根）。后来我们回到郝维仙小姐的屋中时，她果然不在那里。我们四个人在那儿玩了一会儿惠斯特。中途间隙，郝维仙小姐不知道怎么又异想天开起来，从梳妆台上取出几件最美丽的珠宝，在埃斯苔娜的头发、胸口和手臂上仔细别好。这时我发现，连我的那位监护人也从他的浓眉之下偷偷地看了看她。当他发现面前的埃斯苔娜全身珍珠翠玉，有沉鱼落雁之美时，也不禁稍抬了一下他的眼皮。
且不说打牌时他的那套伎俩，先是把我们手中的王牌吃掉，然后尽出一些小牌，使得我们手中的“国王”和“王后”根本无法发挥。至于我当时的感受就更不必说了。在他的眼里，我们三个人是经不起一猜的谜，是微不足道的，很久以前他就对我们的谜底了如指掌了。当时，我所痛苦、难忍的是他那冷冰冰的存在和我对埃斯苔娜的深情缠绵犹如冰火般不能相容。我知道和他谈论埃斯苔娜是我难以忍受的，听见他对着她把皮鞋踩得嘎嘎直响也是我难以忍受的，看见他和她告别后就去洗手更是我难以忍受的，但这些都不是问题之所在；问题在于我对埃斯苔娜的倾慕之情与他相距不过咫尺，在于我的绵绵情意，得与他共处一室——这种境地真使我痛苦啊！
我们玩牌直到九点，然后说好埃斯苔娜什么时候去伦敦，一定事先告诉我，我会到驿站去接她。接下来我便向她告别了，握过她的手，举步离去。
我的监护人也住在蓝野猪饭店，而且就住在我隔壁的一间。虽近深夜，郝维仙小姐的话仍然在我耳边回响着：“你爱她吧，爱她吧，爱她吧！”我把这些话改成自己的语言，对着枕头千遍万遍地说：“我爱她，我爱她，我爱她！”然后我的心底涌起一阵感激之情，她竟命中注定要和我这个曾经是个小铁匠的人结成良缘。不过我又担心，她是否像我一样为这种命中注定而欢天喜地呢？她什么时候才能对我感兴趣呢？我什么时候该去唤醒她那颗现在仍深藏着的、无言而沉睡的心呢？
噢，我的老天！所有这些情感我都看得如此崇高，如此伟大。可是我丝毫未觉得自己躲开乔的行为是多么卑鄙和渺小，因为我知道埃斯苔娜会轻视他。仅在前一天，乔的手足情谊还使我感动得流了泪，然而泪水竟这么快就干了。愿上帝饶恕我，手足之情的泪水竟这么快就干了。
Chapter 30
AFTER well considering the matter while I was dressing at the Blue Boar in the morning, I resolved to tell my guardian that I doubted Orlick's being the right sort of man to fill a post of trust at Miss Havisham's. `Why, of course he is not the right sort of man, Pip,' said my guardian, comfortably satisfied beforehand on the general head, `because the man who fills the post of trust never is the right sort of man.' It seemed quite to put him into spirits, to find that this particular post was not exceptionally held by the right sort of man, and he listened in a satisfied manner while I told him what knowledge I had of Orlick. `Very good, Pip,' he observed, when I had concluded, `I'll go round presently, and pay our friend off.' Rather alarmed by this summary action, I was for a little delay, and even hinted that our friend himself might be difficult to deal with. `Oh no he won't,' said my guardian, making his pocket-handkerchief-point, with perfect confidence; `I should like to see him argue the question with me.' 
As we were going back together to London by the mid-day coach, and as I breakfasted under such terrors of Pumblechook that I could scarcely hold my cup, this gave me an opportunity of saying that I wanted a walk, and that I would go on along the London-road while Mr Jaggers was occupied, if he would let the coachman know that I would get into my place when overtaken. I was thus enabled to fly from the Blue Boar immediately after breakfast. By then making a loop of about a couple of miles into the open country at the back of Pumblechook's premises, I got round into the High-street again, a little beyond that pitfall, and felt myself in comparative security.
It was interesting to be in the quiet old town once more, and it was not disagreeable to be here and there suddenly recognized and stared after. One or two of the tradespeople even darted out of their shops and went a little way down the street before me, that they might turn, as if they had forgotten something, and pass me face to face - on which occasions I don't know whether they or I made the worse pretence; they of not doing it, or I of not seeing it. Still my position was a distinguished one, and I was not at all dissatisfied with it, until Fate threw me in the way of that unlimited miscreant, Trabb's boy.
Casting my eyes along the street at a certain point of my progress, I beheld Trabb's boy approaching, lashing himself with an empty blue bag. Deeming that a serene and unconscious contemplation of him would best beseem me, and would be most likely to quell his evil mind, I advanced with that expression of countenance, and was rather congratulating myself on my success, when suddenly the knees of Trabb's boy smote together, his hair uprose, his cap fell off, he trembled violently in every limb, staggered out into the road, and crying to the populace, `Hold me!I'm so frightened!' feigned to be in a paroxysm of terror and contrition, occasioned by the dignity of my appearance. As I passed him, his teeth loudly chattered in his head, and with every mark of extreme humiliation, he prostrated himself in the dust.
This was a hard thing to bear, but this was nothing. I had not advanced another two hundred yards, when, to my inexpressible terror, amazement, and indignation, I again beheld Trabb's boy approaching. He was coming round a narrow corner. His blue bag was slung over his shoulder, honest industry beamed in his eyes, a determination to proceed to Trabb's with cheerful briskness was indicated in his gait. With a shock he became aware of me, and was severely visited as before; but this time his motion was rotatory, and he staggered round and round me with knees more afflicted, and with uplifted hands as if beseeching for mercy. His sufferings were hailed with the greatest joy by a knot of spectators, and I felt utterly confounded.
I had not got as much further down the street as the post-office, when I again beheld Trabb's boy shooting round by a back way. This time, he was entirely changed. He wore the blue bag in the manner of my great-coat, and was strutting along the pavement towards me on the opposite side of the street, attended by a company of delighted young friends to whom he from time to time exclaimed, with a wave of his hand, `Don't know yah!' Words cannot state the amount of aggravation and injury wreaked upon me by Trabb's boy, when, passing abreast of me, he pulled up his shirt-collar, twined his side-hair, stuck an arm akimbo, and smirked extravagantly by, wriggling his elbows and body, and drawling to his attendants, `Don't know yah, don't know yah, pon my soul don't know yah!' The disgrace attendant on his immediately afterwards taking to crowing and pursuing me across the bridge with crows, as from an exceedingly dejected fowl who had known me when I was a blacksmith, culminated the disgrace with which I left the town, and was, so to speak, ejected by it into the open country.
But unless I had taken the life of Trabb's boy on that occasion, I really do not even now see what I could have done save endure. To have struggled with him in the street, or to have exacted any lower recompense from him than his heart's best blood, would have been futile and degrading. Moreover, he was a boy whom no man could hurt; an invulnerable and dodging serpent who, when chased into a corner, flew out again between his captor's legs, scornfully yelping. I wrote, however, to Mr Trabb by next day's post, to say that Mr Pip must decline to deal further with one who could so far forget what he owed to the best interests of society, as to employ a boy who excited Loathing in every respectable mind.
The coach, with Mr Jaggers inside, came up in due time, and I took my box-seat again, and arrived in London safe - but not sound, for my heart was gone. As soon as I arrived, I sent a penitential codfish and barrel of oysters to Joe (as reparation for not having gone myself), and then went on to Barnard's Inn.
I found Herbert dining on cold meat, and delighted to welcome me back. Having despatched The Avenger to the coffee-house for an addition to the dinner, I felt that I must open my breast that very evening to my friend and chum. As confidence was out of the question with The Avenger in the hall, which could merely be regarded in the light of an ante-chamber to the keyhole, I sent him to the Play. A better proof of the severity of my bondage to that taskmaster could scarcely be afforded, than the degrading shifts to which I was constantly driven to find him employment. So mean is extremity, that I sometimes sent him to Hyde Park Corner to see what o'clock it was.
Dinner done and we sitting with our feet upon the fender, I said to Herbert, `My dear Herbert, I have something very particular to tell you.'
`My dear Handel,' he returned, `I shall esteem and respect your confidence.'
`It concerns myself, Herbert,' said I, `and one other person.'
Herbert crossed his feet, looked at the fire with his head on one side, and having looked at it in vain for some time, looked at me because I didn't go on.
`Herbert,' said I, laying my hand upon his knee, `I love - I adore - Estella.'
Instead of being transfixed, Herbert replied in an easy matter-ofcourse way, `Exactly. Well?'
`Well, Herbert? Is that all you say? Well?'
`What next, I mean?' said Herbert. `Of course I know that.'
`How do you know it?' said I.
`How do I know it, Handel? Why, from you.'
`I never told you.'
`Told me! You have never told me when you have got your hair cut, but I have had senses to perceive it. You have always adored her, ever since I have known you. You brought your adoration and your portmanteau here, together. Told me! Why, you have always told me all day long. When you told me your own story, you told me plainly that you began adoring her the first time you saw her, when you were very young indeed.'
`Very well, then,' said I, to whom this was a new and not unwelcome light, `I have never left off adoring her. And she has come back, a most beautiful and most elegant creature. And I saw her yesterday. And if I adored her before, I now doubly adore her.'
`Lucky for you then, Handel,' said Herbert, `that you are picked out for her and allotted to her. Without encroaching on forbidden ground, we may venture to say that there can be no doubt between ourselves of that fact. Have you any idea yet, of Estella's views on the adoration question?'
I shook my head gloomily. `Oh! She is thousands of miles away, from me,' said I.
`Patience, my dear Handel: time enough, time enough. But you have something more to say?'
`I am ashamed to say it,' I returned, `and yet it's no worse to say it than to think it. You call me a lucky fellow. Of course, I am. I was a blacksmith's boy but yesterday; I am - what shall I say I am - to-day?'
`Say, a good fellow, if you want a phrase,' returned Herbert, smiling, and clapping his hand on the back of mine, `a good fellow, with impetuosity and hesitation, boldness and diffidence, action and dreaming, curiously mixed in him.'
I stopped for a moment to consider whether there really was this mixture in my character. On the whole, I by no means recognized the analysis, but thought it not worth disputing.
`When I ask what I am to call myself to-day, Herbert,' I went on, `I suggest what I have in my thoughts. You say I am lucky. I know I have done nothing to raise myself in life, and that Fortune alone has raised me; that is being very lucky. And yet, when I think of Estella--'
(`And when don't you, you know?' Herbert threw in, with his eyes on the fire; which I thought kind and sympathetic of him.)
` - Then, my dear Herbert, I cannot tell you how dependent and uncertain I feel, and how exposed to hundreds of chances. Avoiding forbidden ground, as you did just now, I may still say that on the constancy of one person (naming no person) all my expectations depend. And at the best, how indefinite and unsatisfactory, only to know so vaguely what they are!' In saying this, I relieved my mind of what had always been there, more or less, though no doubt most since yesterday.
`Now, Handel,' Herbert replied, in his gay hopeful way, `it seems to me that in the despondency of the tender passion, we are looking into our gift-horse's mouth with a magnifying-glass. Likewise, it seems to me that, concentrating our attention on the examination, we altogether overlook one of the best points of the animal. Didn't you tell me that your guardian, Mr Jaggers, told you in the beginning, that you were not endowed with expectations only? And even if he had not told you so - though that is a very large If, I grant - could you believe that of all men in London, Mr Jaggers is the man to hold his present relations towards you unless he were sure of his ground?'
I said I could not deny that this was a strong point. I said it (people often do so, in such cases) like a rather reluctant concession to truth and justice; - as if I wanted to deny it!
`I should think it was a strong point,' said Herbert, `and I should think you would be puzzled to imagine a stronger; as to the rest, you must bide your guardian's time, and he must bide his client's time. You'll be one-and-twenty before you know where you are, and then perhaps you'll get some further enlightenment. At all events, you'll be nearer getting it, for it must come at last.'
`What a hopeful disposition you have!' said I, gratefully admiring his cheery ways.
`I ought to have,' said Herbert, `for I have not much else. I must acknowledge, by-the-bye, that the good sense of what I have just said is not my own, but my father's. The only remark I ever heard him make on your story, was the final one: "The thing is settled and done, or Mr Jaggers would not be in it." And now before I say anything more about my father, or my father's son, and repay confidence with confidence, I want to make myself seriously disagreeable to you for a moment - positively repulsive.'
`You won't succeed,' said I.
`Oh yes I shall!' said he. `One, two, three, and now I am in for it. Handel, my good fellow;' though he spoke in this light tone, he was very much in earnest: `I have been thinking since we have been talking with our feet on this fender, that Estella surely cannot be a condition of your inheritance, if she was never referred to by your guardian. Am I right in so understanding what you have told me, as that he never referred to her, directly or indirectly, in any way? Never even hinted, for instance, that your patron might have views as to your marriage ultimately?'
`Never.'
`Now, Handel, I am quite free from the flavour of sour grapes, upon my soul and honour! Not being bound to her, can you not detach yourself from her? - I told you I should be disagreeable.'
I turned my head aside, for, with a rush and a sweep, like the old marsh winds coming up from the sea, a feeling like that which had subdued me on the morning when I left the forge, when the mists were solemnly rising, and when I laid my hand upon the village finger-post, smote upon my heart again. There was silence between us for a little while.
`Yes; but my dear Handel,' Herbert went on, as if we had been talking instead of silent, `its having been so strongly rooted in the breast of a boy whom nature and circumstances made so romantic, renders it very serious. Think of her bringing-up, and think of Miss Havisham. Think of what she is herself (now I am repulsive and you abominate me). This may lead to miserable things.'
`I know it, Herbert,' said I, with my head still turned away, `but I can't help it.'
`You can't detach yourself?'
`No. Impossible!'
`You can't try, Handel?'
`No. Impossible!'
`Well!' said Herbert, getting up with a lively shake as if he had been asleep, and stirring the fire; `now I'll endeavour to make myself agreeable again!'
So he went round the room and shook the curtains out, put the chairs in their places, tidied the books and so forth that were lying about, looked into the hall, peeped into the letter-box, shut the door, and came back to his chair by the fire: where he sat down, nursing his left leg in both arms.
`I was going to say a word or two, Handel, concerning my father and my father's son. I am afraid it is scarcely necessary for my father's son to remark that my father's establishment is not particularly brilliant in its housekeeping.'
`There is always plenty, Herbert,' said I: to say something encouraging.
`Oh yes! and so the dustman says, I believe, with the strongest approval, and so does the marine-store shop in the back street. Gravely, Handel, for the subject is grave enough, you know how it is, as well as I do. I suppose there was a time once when my father had not given matters up; but if ever there was, the time is gone. May I ask you if you have ever had an opportunity of remarking, down in your part of the country, that the children of not exactly suitable marriages, are always most particularly anxious to be married?'
This was such a singular question, that I asked him in return, `Is it so?'
`I don't know,' said Herbert, `that's what I want to know. Because it is decidedly the case with us. My poor sister Charlotte who was next me and died before she was fourteen, was a striking example. Little Jane is the same. In her desire to be matrimonially established, you might suppose her to have passed her short existence in the perpetual contemplation of domestic bliss. Little Alick in a frock has already made arrangements for his union with a suitable young person at Kew. And indeed, I think we are all engaged, except the baby.'
`Then you are?' said I.
`I am,' said Herbert; `but it's a secret.'
I assured him of my keeping the secret, and begged to be favoured with further particulars. He had spoken so sensibly and feelingly of my weakness that I wanted to know something about his strength.
`May I ask the name?' I said.
`Name of Clara,' said Herbert.
`Live in London?'
`Yes. perhaps I ought to mention,' said Herbert, who had become curiously crestfallen and meek, since we entered on the interesting theme, `that she is rather below my mother's nonsensical family notions. Her father had to do with the victualling of passenger-ships. I think he was a species of purser.'
`What is he now?' said I.
`He's an invalid now,' replied Herbert.
`Living on - ?'
`On the first floor,' said Herbert. Which was not at all what I meant, for I had intended my question to apply to his means. `I have never seen him, for he has always kept his room overhead, since I have known Clara. But I have heard him constantly. He makes tremendous rows - roars, and pegs at the floor with some frightful instrument.' In looking at me and then laughing heartily, Herbert for the time recovered his usual lively manner.
`Don't you expect to see him?' said I.
`Oh yes, I constantly expect to see him,' returned Herbert, `because I never hear him, without expecting him to come tumbling through the ceiling. But I don't know how long the rafters may hold.'
When he had once more laughed heartily, he became meek again, and told me that the moment he began to realize Capital, it was his intention to marry this young lady. He added as a self-evident proposition, engendering low spirits, `But you can't marry, you know, while you're looking about you.'
As we contemplated the fire, and as I thought what a difficult vision to realize this same Capital sometimes was, I put my hands in my pockets. A folded piece of paper in one of them attracting my attention, I opened it and found it to be the playbill I had received from Joe, relative to the celebrated provincial amateur of Roscian renown. `And bless my heart,' I involuntarily added aloud, `it's to-night!'
This changed the subject in an instant, and made us hurriedly resolve to go to the play. So, when I had pledged myself to comfort and abet Herbert in the affair of his heart by all practicable and impracticable means, and when Herbert had told me that his affianced already knew me by reputation and that I should be presented to her, and when we had warmly shaken hands upon our mutual confidence, we blew out our candles, made up our fire, locked our door, and issued forth in quest of Mr Wopsle and Denmark.
 
次日清晨，我在蓝野猪饭店梳洗之时，仔细考虑了一番，决定要和我的监护人谈一谈奥立克的为人，说我十分怀疑他是否合适在郝维仙小姐家中被委以如此重任。 “唔，皮普，自然他是不合适的，”我的监护人早就有他自己的想法，所以胸有成竹地说道，“因为凡是被委以重任的人都是不合适的。”从他的语气中可以窥见，奥立克并不例外地也是不合适的这一点使他很高兴。于是我便据己所知，把奥立克的为人处世向他述说了一遍，他听得很满意。“皮普，你说得很好，”他对我的话作了评论，然后得出结论道，“我马上就去把这位老兄打发走。”他这种立竿见影的行动令我吃了一惊，我倒有些迟疑起来，甚至还对他暗示，说这位老兄是很难对付的。“噢，不难对付，”我的监护人摆弄起他的那块手帕，非常有信心地说道，“我倒想看看他会怎么和我争辩。”
我和贾格斯先生已决定乘中午的一斑马车一起回伦敦。因为我吃早饭时一直担心着彭波契克会在什么时候冒出来，以致连拿杯子的力气都要没有了，于是趁这个机会我便对他说，既是他要出去办事，我也准备出去散散步。我告诉他我想沿着到伦敦去的大路走，一旦马车赶上来，请他让马车夫停一下，好让我上车。于是，我一吃过早饭便溜出了蓝野猪饭店。我兜了一个两英里路的大圈子，绕到彭波契克住宅后面的旷野，再转上大街，摆脱了那个陷讲，才感到有些安全。
又一次漫步在这个安静古老的小镇上，我感到十分欣慰，这里走走，那里逛逛，倒也自觉得意。有时冒出一些人认出了我，甚至睁大眼目送我远去。也有一两位生意人特意从他们的店铺中冲出来，在我前面走上几步路，然后突然回过头来，装作忘掉什么东西似的，和我迎面而过。每遇这种场合，我真不知道究竟谁演得差劲：他们装成若无其事的样子，我则装作没有注意到的样子。由于我的特殊身份，我感到十分满意自在。可是命运总在捉弄人，偏偏让我碰上特拉布裁缝的小伙计，那个作恶多端的小坏蛋。
我沿街道而行，随意放目测览，忽然在街道的一处看到特拉布的小伙计从前面走来，手中拿着一只空空的天蓝色口袋拍打着自己。我暗自思忖，如果我装作泰然自若毫不介意的样子看到他，于我会大为有利，也不至于使他萌生恶念。我便装成这种神情前行，心中暗自庆幸，这一招可望成功。可就在这时，特拉布小伙计的两只膝盖相互打着颤撞在了一起，头发也倒竖起来把帽子顶得掉在了地上。他四肢抖动，跌跌冲冲地走到路中间，向过往行人发出求救的呼声：“扶我一下，吓死我了！” 他装得好像被我的庄严高贵吓得魂不附体，悔悟不及，变成了精神病。我从他身旁经过时，他满嘴牙齿上下打战，格格的响个不停，还趴在地上的尘埃之中，表现出一副彻底的奴才相。
这使我难以忍受，但比起下面的事来还根本不算什么。我向前走了还不到两百码，又看到特拉布的小伙计向我走来，使我感到无可名状的恐惧、惊奇和气愤。他是绕过一处拐角来的。他把蓝袋子搭在肩头，眼中闪着诚恳和勤俭的光辉，神色愉快活泼，正朝着特拉布裁缝铺的方向走去。他一发现我在前面吃了一惊，于是又像刚才遇到我时那样发作起来，不过这次他的情感发作是旋转式的。他跌跌冲冲地围着我转，两个膝盖碰撞着直打晃，两只手高高举起，仿佛在祈求上苍保佑。他那受折磨的样子引得一群路过看热闹的人高兴非凡，而我却感到十分尴尬。
我继续向前还没有走到邮局，这时又看到特拉布的小伙计穿进了一条后街小巷。这一次，他又变换了他的方法，把蓝色的袋子披在身上，像我穿大衣一样，沿着石铺路摆出四方步从对面的人行道出发向我走过来。有一群快乐的少年伙伴围在他左右，他一次一次地对他们挥着手并且呼喊着：“不认识你啊！”特拉布的小伙计对我恶意发泄、激怒和伤害的程度是无法用语言来形容的。这时他走过我的身边，把领子拉高，一手拧着鬓发，一手插在腰上，脸上露出装出来的嘻嘻假笑，把胳膊肘及腰身都扭动起来，对跟着他的一群人拉长了语调叫道：“不认识你，不认识你，的的确确不认识你！”他一直跟着我，不断地羞辱我，追着我嘴里格格格地叫着，那声音就像我当铁匠时常听到的一只大公鸡惨败后的凄鸣。他一直把我赶过了桥，使我痛苦得无地自容。总之，我被他逐出了这个小镇，进入乡野，他才悻悻地离去。
处在如此场合，对待特拉布的小伙计，我要么亲手结束他的性命，要么就只有这样，任他摆布，逆来顺受。我若是在大街上和他相斗，也只能给他些颜色作一点儿惩罚，并不能要他的命，那么这样不但无益，反而羞辱自己，给别人留下笑柄。何况这是一个谁都没有办法的混小子，是一条沿来游去伤害不着的蛇，被捕蛇者追到了墙角，又从捕蛇者的裤裆下窜走，还自以为得意地发出轻蔑的狂叫。不过，第二天我还是为此事给特拉布发了一封信，告诉他维护社会公益是人人的责任，而特拉布忘掉了自己的责任，竟雇用了一名对体面人士有所损害的讨厌的伙计，为此我不得不和他断绝业务上的往来。
贾格斯先生所乘坐的马车及时赶到，我便登上车厢，一路无事，平安抵达伦敦，不过，内心却并不平静，因为我的心已经飞走。一到伦敦，我就想到没去乔那里是我的不对，为忏悔此事，便买了些鳕鱼和一桶牡蛎捎给乔，然后口到了巴纳德旅馆。
一进去便看到赫伯特正吃着冻肉，见到我回来，非常高兴。我叫讨债鬼到咖啡店去再买一份晚餐，觉得当晚必须和我的心腹好友一抒情怀。既然是知已之间的知心话，无疑，把讨债鬼留在厅堂中是不合适的（我所谓的厅堂是指和我们仅隔一壁的地方，那里可以从钥匙洞里听到谈话），所以叫他到戏院去看戏。我时常都是这样被逼得要给他找些活干，而且要换些花样，结果证明他是反仆为主，我却由主变奴了。有时我简直黔驴技穷，甚至让他跑到海德公园广场去对一对时间。
晚饭吃罢，我们坐定下来，脚都放在炉栅上，我对赫伯特说道：“我亲爱的赫伯特，我想和你谈些贴心话。”
他答道：“我亲爱的汉德尔，你对我如此看重，我是很感激的。”
“赫伯特，是我自己的事情，”我说道，“但和另一个人有关。”
赫伯特一条腿放在另一条腿上，歪着头看炉火，茫然地看了一会儿后，又转过头来看我，因为我没有再讲下去。
“赫伯特，”我把手搁在他的膝盖上说道，“我爱——我崇拜——埃斯苔娜。”
赫伯特听了我的话后并未感到大吃一惊，相反却理所当然、从容不迫地说道：“确实如此，怎么呢？”
“哎呀，赫伯特。这就是你全部的回答吗？就是‘怎么呢’这三个字？”
“我是要你说下去，你的下文是什么？”赫伯特说道，“当然，我是知道这件事的。”
“你怎么会知道的？”我问道。
“汉德尔，我怎么会知道？你忘了，都是你亲口告诉我的。”
“我从来没有告诉过你啊。”
“你没有告诉过我！就说你要去理发吧，你没有告诉我，但是我已经意识到你要去理发，再说你崇拜她，自从我认识你的第一天开始，就知道你一直爱她。你把手提箱拎到这里来，其实你已经把对她的爱也一起拎到这里来了。你没有告诉过我吗？怎么，你整天整天地在告诉我，你明明白白地告诉我你从看到她的第一天开始就爱上她了，尽管当时你还很小哩！”
“你说得太好了，那么，”听了他的新鲜见解，感到他对此也很有兴趣，我说道，“我告诉你，我一直在崇拜着她。她现在已从国外归来，出落得秀丽无比，真可谓天生佳丽。昨天我在那儿见到了她。过去我崇拜她，今天我更加倍地崇拜她了。”
“汉德尔，你太幸运了，”赫伯特说道，“你已经被选中了，你的命运已安排给她了。如果下面所谈的话不至于触动你的隐私，我敢斗胆提醒你慎思一下。其实这在我们之间是公开的事实。你了解埃斯苔娜对于爱情抱有什么看法吗？”
我忧郁地摇摇头，说：“她和我之间还相隔甚远呢。”
“要沉着耐心，我亲爱的汉德尔，会有时间的，会有时间的。你还有什么话要说吗？”
“我真是不好意思，”我答道，“不过，既有所思，还是把所想的说出来为好。你称我为幸运儿，当然，我是幸运的，因为昨天我是个打铁的孩子，而今天，我该说我是什么样的人呢？”
“如果你想找个词，就叫你好小子吧！”赫伯特微笑着说，用一只手拍着我的后背，“所以叫你好小子，是因为你既急躁又犹豫不决，既大胆又胆小羞怯，既注重实际，又耽于梦想，一切奇怪的矛盾在你身上都兼而有之。”
我由于思考在我身上是不是具有这种奇怪的矛盾组合，所以停了一会儿没有言语。总的说来，我不承认他的分析，不过又觉得他所说的也不值得反驳。
于是我说道：“赫伯特，我问你我今天该算个什么样的人时，其实是想到了自己的看法。你说我很幸运，我知道，我的平步青云不是靠自己的能力，而是靠幸运之神的力量。这的确是幸运的。不过，只要我一想起埃斯苔娜——”
“你知道你不会不想她的！”赫伯特双眼盯住炉火，打断了我的话头；我想他所说的话是善意的，是对我的同情。
“只要我一想起埃斯苔娜，亲爱的赫伯特，我好像就失去了自主性，对一切感到迷惘，任何机会都把握不住。我又能告诉你什么呢？正如你所说，我们撇开隐私不谈，我认为我的远大前程全取决于一个人，可不知道此人是谁，而且此人能否永远对我如此呢？从好的方面来说，这前程也是不能确定的，让人无法安心，一切都是迷迷糊糊的！”我说了这些，心中的疑虑总算吐尽、虽然我早就有或多或少的疑虑积压在心头，不过昨天我才感到这疑虑压得万分沉重。
“听我说，汉德尔，”赫伯特仍然兴高采烈地答道，“在我看来，这不过是情感方面的失意而已，我们因此都会拿着放大镜对别人尽情挑剔。同样，在我看来，我们集中于审视挑剔的方面，恰巧忽视一个重大的优点。你不是曾对我说过，你的监护人贾格斯先生一开始就告诉过你，你能得到的不仅仅是遗产，是吗？即使他还没有告诉过你，不过，这件事是关系重大的。我看，你也会知道，在伦敦那么多人当中，贾格斯先生是个举足轻重的人物，如果他没有可靠的把握，会和你建立如此的关系吗？”
我说我无法否认这是一个很有力的理由。不过，我的口气似乎只是因为既成事实，也就不容反对而已（人们通常都是这样），倒好像想要否定它才是。
“依我看这理由不仅仅是有力，” 赫伯特说道，“你根本想不出比这更为有力的看法；至于别的问题，你只有等待你的监护人在适当的时候给你讲清楚，他也只有等待他的客户在适当时候给予他指示。从年龄说，你即将二十一岁了，那时你会更弄清些眉目。总而言之，你会慢慢地了解，最后，终究会真相大白的。”
“你真是乐观主义的天性！”我非常钦佩他这种爽快乐观的处事方法。
赫伯特说道：“我有的就是乐观天性，除掉乐观天性我一无所有。我必须向你说明，我刚才所说的这些话并不是我自己的，而是我父亲的话。他谈到你的事情时，我只听到他最后一句话：‘这件事办得非常稳妥，要么贾格斯先生是不会插手介人的。’现在，且不论我父亲和我自己。你既把诚心给我，我也该报你以诚心，但良药苦口，忠言必定逆耳，这会儿我打算让你对我讨厌至极、怨恨不已。”
“我看你不会成功的。”我说道。
“噢，我会的，一定成功！”他答道，“一、二、三，我开始说了。汉德尔，我的好朋友，”他说话的语气十分轻松，可态度是非常认真的。“从我们把脚放在炉格上开始谈话起，我就一直思忖着，埃斯苔娜这件事，只要你的监护人没有和你提起过，她肯定不是你接受遗产的一个附加条件。从你和我的谈话中，我知道贾格斯先生，无论直接或间接，都没有提到过这件事，是不是？举例来说吧，他从来没有向你暗示过说你的恩主对你的婚姻大事自有看法，对吗？”
“没有暗示过。”
“那好，汉德尔，我可对天发誓，我绝不是吃不到葡萄就说葡萄是酸的。既然你与她一无牵连，难道就不能趁早和她罢手么？我这样说，肯定是不中听的。”
我把面孔转向一边，一阵难过，就好像一阵从大海吹来的风，飘过沼泽地，直向我的心窝扑来。当年的那个早晨，我离开铁匠铺，在慢慢消去的雾气中，把手放在村庄的指路牌上，突然一种相同的难以抑制的情感也曾使我伤心痛苦。我们相对无言了一会儿。
“问题明摆着是这样，不过，亲爱的汉德尔，”赫伯特好像没有感到当时的沉默，继续说下去，“你还是个孩子，在你的心胸中所蕴藏的本性和环境结合在一起，便形成了强烈的、根深蒂固的罗曼蒂克幻想，这就是问题的严重所在。你不妨想一下，埃斯苔娜是如何教养的，想一下郝维仙小姐是一个怎么样的人，以及她目前的处境。当然我这席话是讨人嫌的，你会把我恨之入骨的，但我以为，你这样下去将走向自毁之路。”
“赫伯特，我心中明白，”我的面孔依然没对着他，说道，“可就是没有办法。”
“你真的不能和她罢手？”
“我不可能和她罢手。”
“汉德尔，你难道不能试一下？”
“不能试，不可能试。”
“好吧！”赫伯特说着站起身来，灵活地抖动了一下身子，仿佛他刚刚睡醒似的，把火又拨旺了一些。“现在我改变方针，该说些你中意的话了！”
于是他在房间里转个圈子，拉起窗帘，把椅子搬到原位，整理一下放得乱七八糟的书籍，看了一下厅堂，又看一看信箱中有什么东西，然后关上门，又回到炉边的椅子上，坐好后，用两臂抱着他的左腿，说道：
“汉德尔，我来说几句我父亲和我的事。当然，恐怕一个做儿子的没有必要评论父亲的所作所为，不过我认为我父亲对家庭事务的管理特别不在行。”
“赫伯特，你们家不是一向丰衣足食嘛。”我说着，用意是振奋他的精神。
“哦，也许是这样吧！我看，只有清道夫会赞成，只有那个在后街上开旧船具店的老板会赞成吧。汉德尔，我们还是规规矩矩地来谈这件事吧，不必说假的，对我家的情况你和我一样知道得清清楚楚。我想我父亲早年时并没有想过要自暴自弃，如果有过这个时候，那也早已成为历史了。现在我有一个问题想问你一下，你在你们乡间有没有注意过这样一种家庭，由于父母的婚姻不如意，所以子女们却特别想着要早早成亲？”
这个问题太稀奇了，我也回答不出，只有再反问他：“真有这种事吗？”
“正因为我不知道，才问你呢，”赫伯特说道，“因为这个问题和我的家有千丝万缕的联系。我那不到十四岁就死了的可怜妹妹夏绿蒂就是一个例子，而且是明显的例子。现在那个小珍妮也是这样。夏绿蒂一心一意想着婚姻大事，追求家庭的幸福，可却这样草草地结束了短促的一生。现在就连穿着童装的小阿里克斯也已经在伦敦西郊的国家植物园里找到个小对象。我看，我们家中除了那个吃奶的婴儿外，全都订婚了。”
“那就是说，你也订婚了？”我问道。
赫伯特答道：“我也订婚了，不过，这还是个秘密。”
我向他保证，一定为他保守秘密。当然，我请他让我有幸了解其中详情。他在评论我的弱点时说得有理有节，头头是道，这次我倒想了解一下他的阳刚何在。
“可以问一问她的名字吗？”我说道。
“她叫克拉娜。”赫伯特答道。
“她的家在伦敦吗？”
“在伦敦。或许我应该提一下，”我们一谈到这个有趣的问题，赫伯特便显然表现出奇怪的沮丧和恭顺，说道，“要按照我母亲那种毫无意义的门第观念，她的出身是很卑微的。她的父亲在一条客轮上管理伙食什么的，我想，该是事务长这类的职务。”
“她父亲现在干什么？”我问道。
“现在他生病在家。”赫伯特答道。
“那么生活呢——？”
“他在二楼。”赫伯特答道，完全所答非所问，因为我是问他依靠什么生活，“我从来没有见到过他，因为自从我认识克拉娜以来，他总是把自己关在楼上的房间中。不过，我常常听到他的声音。他有时大吵大闹、大喊大叫，甚至用一根可怕的东西猛烈地乱敲地板。”他说着望着我，然后又开心地大笑起来，这时又恢复了他通常那种活泼生动的神气。
“你不想见见他吗？”我问道。
“噢，当然了，我常常期望见到他。”赫伯特答道，“只要一听到他的声音，我就由不得要想到他就快把天花板跌破摔下来了。但是，我不知道这些横梁还能支撑多久。”
这时他又开心地笑起来，然后又一次显出恭顺的样子，并且告诉我，只要一赚到了钱，他就准备和这位年轻的姑娘结婚，接着又用一条不证自明的真理补充他的想法，却反而使他情绪低落了。“人所皆知，正在观望形势的人是不可能结婚的。”
我们傍着火炉坐着，默默无语。我也在思忖，要得到一笔资本真是难以实现的幻影。我无意中把手伸进口袋，发现有一张折起的报纸，一时发生兴趣，便掏出来打开一看，原来是一张戏报，正是乔上次给我的。戏报是关于一个著名地方演员来伦敦演出的新闻，而且这个演员据说可以和罗西乌齐名。我一看不由得大叫起来：“我的天啦，就是今天晚上演出！”
这一来我们的话题立刻改变，匆忙决定要到戏院去欣赏演出。我这时没有忘记向赫伯特作出保证，不管实际上可能还是不可能，对于他的婚事我一定做到大力帮忙。赫伯特也告诉我，他的未婚妻已经久闻我的大名，并表示要约请我去她家做客。于是我和赫伯特两人热情地握着手，以表示两人内心的相互真诚。然后，我们吹灭蜡烛，给炉火加添了燃料，锁上门，离家去寻访沃甫赛先生并游览哈姆莱特的丹麦王国去了。
Chapter 31
ON our arrival in Denmark, we found the king and queen of that country elevated in two arm-chairs on a kitchen-table, holding a Court. The whole of the Danish nobility were in attendance; consisting of a noble boy in the wash-leather boots of a gigantic ancestor, a venerable Peer with a dirty face who seemed to have risen from the people late in life, and the Danish chivalry with a comb in its hair and a pair of white silk legs, and presenting on the whole a feminine appearance. My gifted townsman stood gloomily apart, with folded arms, and I could have wished that his curls and forehead had been more probable. 
Several curious little circumstances transpired as the action proceeded. The late king of the country not only appeared to have been troubled with a cough at the time of his decease, but to have taken it with him to the tomb, and to have brought it back. The royal phantom also carried a ghostly manuscript round its truncheon, to which it had the appearance of occasionally referring, and that, too, with an air of anxiety and a tendency to lose the place of reference which were suggestive of a state of mortality. It was this, I conceive, which led to the Shade's being advised by the gallery to `turn over!' - a recommendation which it took extremely ill. It was likewise to be noted of this majestic spirit that whereas it always appeared with an air of having been out a long time and walked an immense distance, it perceptibly came from a closely contiguous wall. This occasioned its terrors to be received derisively. The Queen of Denmark, a very buxom lady, though no doubt historically brazen, was considered by the public to have too much brass about her; her chin being attached to her diadem by a broad band of that metal (as if she had a gorgeous toothache), her waist being encircled by another, and each of her arms by another, so that she was openly mentioned as `the kettledrum.' The noble boy in the ancestral boots, was inconsistent; representing himself, as it were in one breath, as an able seaman, a strolling actor, a grave-digger, a clergyman, and a person of the utmost importance at a Court fencing-match, on the authority of whose practised eye and nice discrimination the finest strokes were judged. This gradually led to a want of toleration for him, and even - on his being detected in holy orders, and declining to perform the funeral service - to the general indignation taking the form of nuts. Lastly, Ophelia was a prey to such slow musical madness, that when, in course of time, she had taken off her white muslin scarf, folded it up, and buried it, a sulky man who had been long cooling his impatient nose against an iron bar in the front row of the gallery, growled, `Now the baby's put to bed let's have supper!' Which, to say the least of it, was out of keeping.
Upon my unfortunate townsman all these incidents accumulated with playful effect. Whenever that undecided Prince had to ask a question or state a doubt, the public helped him out with it. As for example; on the question whether 'twas nobler in the mind to suffer, some roared yes, and some no, and some inclining to both opinions said `toss up for it;' and quite a Debating Society arose. When he asked what should such fellows as he do crawling between earth and heaven, he was encouraged with loud cries of `Hear, hear!' When he appeared with his stocking disordered (its disorder expressed, according to usage, by one very neat fold in the top, which I suppose to be always got up with a flat iron), a conversation took place in the gallery respecting the paleness of his leg, and whether it was occasioned by the turn the ghost had given him. On his taking the recorders - very like a little black flute that had just been played in the orchestra and handed out at the door - he was called upon unanimously for Rule Britannia. When he recommended the player not to saw the air thus, the sulky man said, `And don't you do it, neither; you're a deal worse than him!' And I grieve to add that peals of laughter greeted Mr Wopsle on every one of these occasions.
But his greatest trials were in the churchyard: which had the appearance of a primeval forest, with a kind of small ecclesiastical wash-house on one side, and a turnpike gate on the other. Mr Wopsle in a comprehensive black cloak, being descried entering at the turnpike, the gravedigger was admonished in a friendly way, `Look out! Here's the undertaker a coming, to see how you're a getting on with your work!' I believe it is well known in a constitutional country that Mr Wopsle could not possibly have returned the skull, after moralizing over it, without dusting his fingers on a white napkin taken from his breast; but even that innocent and indispensable action did not pass without the comment `Wai-ter!' The arrival of the body for interment (in an empty black box with the lid tumbling open), was the signal for a general joy which was much enhanced by the discovery, among the bearers, of an individual obnoxious to identification. The joy attended Mr Wopsle through his struggle with Laertes on the brink of the orchestra and the grave, and slackened no more until he had tumbled the king off the kitchen-table, and had died by inches from the ankles upward.
We had made some pale efforts in the beginning to applaud Mr Wopsle; but they were too hopeless to be persisted in. Therefore we had sat, feeling keenly for him, but laughing, nevertheless, from ear to ear. I laughed in spite of myself all the time, the whole thing was so droll; and yet I had a latent impression that there was something decidedly fine in Mr Wopsle's elocution - not for old associations' sake, I am afraid, but because it was very slow, very dreary, very up-hill and down-hill, and very unlike any way in which any man in any natural circumstances of life or death ever expressed himself about anything. When the tragedy was over, and he had been called for and hooted, I said to Herbert, `Let us go at once, or perhaps we shall meet him.'
We made all the haste we could down-stairs, but we were not quick enough either. Standing at the door was a Jewish man with an unnatural heavy smear of eyebrow, who caught my eyes as we advanced, and said, when we came up with him:
`Mr Pip and friend?'
Identity of Mr Pip and friend confessed.
`Mr Waldengarver?,' said the man, `would be glad to have the honour.'
`Waldengarver?' I repeated - when Herbert murmured in my ear, `Probably Wopsle.'
`Oh!' said I. `Yes. Shall we follow you?'
`A few steps, please.' When we were in a side alley, he turned and asked, `How did you think he looked? - I dressed him.'
I don't know what he had looked like, except a funeral; with the addition of a large Danish sun or star hanging round his neck by a blue ribbon, that had given him the appearance of being insured in some extraordinary Fire Office. But I said he had looked very nice.
`When he come to the grave,' said our conductor, `he showed his cloak beautiful. But, judging from the wing, it looked to me that when he see the ghost in the queen's apartment, he might have made more of his stockings.'
I modestly assented, and we all fell through a little dirty swing door, into a sort of hot packing-case immediately behind it. Here Mr Wopsle was divesting himself of his Danish garments, and here there was just room for us to look at him over one another's shoulders, by keeping the packing-case door, or lid, wide open.
`Gentlemen,' said Mr Wopsle, `I am proud to see you. I hope, Mr Pip, you will excuse my sending round. I had the happiness to know you in former times, and the Drama has ever had a claim which has ever been acknowledged, on the noble and the affluent.'
Meanwhile, Mr Waldengarver, in a frightful perspiration, was trying to get himself out of his princely sables.
`Skin the stockings off, Mr Waldengarver,' said the owner of that property, `or you'll bust 'em. Bust 'em, and you'll bust five-and-thirty shillings. Shakspeare never was complimented with a finer pair. Keep quiet in your chair now, and leave 'em to me.'
With that, he went upon his knees, and began to flay his victim; who, on the first stocking coming off, would certainly have fallen over backward with his chair, but for there being no room to fall anyhow.
I had been afraid until then to say a word about the play. But then, Mr Waldengarver looked up at us complacently, and said:
`Gentlemen, how did it seem to you, to go, in front?'
Herbert said from behind (at the same time poking me), `capitally.' So I said `capitally.'
`How did you like my reading of the character, gentlemen?' said Mr Waldengarver, almost, if not quite, with patronage.
Herbert said from behind (again poking me), `massive and concrete.' So I said boldly, as if I had originated it, and must beg to insist upon it, `massive and concrete.'
`I am glad to have your approbation, gentlemen,' said Mr Waldengarver, with an air of dignity, in spite of his being ground against the wall at the time, and holding on by the seat of the chair.
`But I'll tell you one thing, Mr Waldengarver,' said the man who was on his knees, `in which you're out in your reading. Now mind! I don't care who says contrairy; I tell you so. You're out in your reading of Hamlet when you get your legs in profile. The last Hamlet as I dressed, made the same mistakes in his reading at rehearsal, till I got him to put a large red wafer on each of his shins, and then at that rehearsal (which was the last) I went in front, sir, to the back of the pit, and whenever his reading brought him into profile, I called out "I don't see no wafers!" And at night his reading was lovely.'
Mr Waldengarver smiled at me, as much as to say `a faithful dependent - I overlook his folly;' and then said aloud, `My view is a little classic and thoughtful for them here; but they will improve, they will improve.'
Herbert and I said together, Oh, no doubt they would improve.
`Did you observe, gentlemen,' said Mr Waldengarver, `that there was a man in the gallery who endeavoured to cast derision on the service - I mean, the representation?'
We basely replied that we rather thought we had noticed such a man. I added, `He was drunk, no doubt.'
`Oh dear no, sir,' said Mr Wopsle, `not drunk. His employer would see to that, sir. His employer would not allow him to be drunk.'
`You know his employer?' said I.
Mr Wopsle shut his eyes, and opened them again; performing both ceremonies very slowly. `You must have observed, gentlemen,' said he, `an ignorant and a blatant ass, with a rasping throat and a countenance expressive of low malignity, who went through - I will not say sustained - the r?le (if I may use a French expression) of Claudius King of Denmark. That is his employer, gentlemen. Such is the profession!'
Without distinctly knowing whether I should have been more sorry for Mr Wopsle if he had been in despair, I was so sorry for him as it was, that I took the opportunity of his turning round to have his braces put on - which jostled us out at the doorway - to ask Herbert what he thought of having him home to supper? Herbert said he thought it would be kind to do so; therefore I invited him, and he went to Barnard's with us, wrapped up to the eyes, and we did our best for him, and he sat until two o'clock in the morning, reviewing his success and developing his plans. I forget in detail what they were, but I have a general recollection that he was to begin with reviving the Drama, and to end with crushing it; inasmuch as his decease would leave it utterly bereft and without a chance or hope.
Miserably I went to bed after all, and miserably thought of Estella, and miserably dreamed that my expectations were all cancelled, and that I had to give my hand in marriage to Herbert's Clara, or play Hamlet to Miss Havisham's Ghost, before twenty thousand people, without knowing twenty words of it.
 
我们一进戏院便等于到了丹麦，只见这个国家的国王和王后都高高地坐在两张扶手椅里，扶手椅就放在厨房用的菜桌上，正在执掌朝政。丹麦的王公大臣文武百官正在列队参拜，其中有位青年贵族穿了一双大软皮靴，是他某个巨人祖先留下来的；另一位很受人尊敬的贵族有着一副肮脏不堪的脸，好像他晚年才得以从平民擢升为贵族；还有一位丹麦的豪侠骑士，在头发丛中插了一把梳子，穿了一双白色的长统丝袜，整个形象看上去简直像个女人。我那位有天才的同乡忧郁地站在旁边，交叉着双臂，我看他的鬈发和额角真该化妆得像一些才是。
随着场景更换，也就出现了一些奇里古怪的事儿。这个国家的先王看上去不仅是在临死时患了咳嗽的毛病，还把这个毛病带进了坟墓，现在又把这个毛病从坟墓带回了人世。这位先王的鬼魂还带着一篇剧本，卷在权杖上，需要时就得翻一下，而且他那副样子，越着急要翻的时候，就越找不到要翻的地方，倒表现出他还是个活人的形态。我想，正是这个原因，坐在顶层楼座上的戏迷们才对这位幽灵大声提示：“你翻呀，你翻呀！”这个提示并不坏，可是却惹怒了这位鬼魂。这位尊贵的灵魂一出场就要表现出一种气概，引起观众的注意，好像他已经云游了好长一段时间，走了好长一段路程，其实大家都看到他是从隔壁的墙后面出来的。这个鬼魂扮演出来的恐惧形状都反被大家看成了笑料。再看这位丹麦王后，是一位丰满壮实的女人，用历史眼光看，她的面皮和青铜差不多，不过观众认为她身上的铜似乎也太多了一些——下巴颏下系着一根连在王冠上的宽铜带子，好像她患了高贵的牙病病；腰间围着另一根宽铜带子；在两只胳膊上也套了两只铜圈子，所以观众干脆公开地叫她为一只铜鼓。那位脚登祖宗留下的；日皮靴的青年贵族扮演得变化多端，而且说变就变，一会儿是能干的海员，一会儿又成为游方的戏子，一会儿是个掘墓人，一会儿又成了位教师，然后又变作宫廷中比试剑术的最重要人物，看他那双眼睛，动来动去，凭着精明的目光来判定一招一式一刺一击。不过慢慢地，观众对他难以容忍了，特别是他扮成神职教士出场时，拒绝为奥菲莉娅的遗体祷告，激起了公众的愤怒，所以台下纷纷向他投掷硬果壳。至于奥菲莉妮在这个舞台上也成了牺牲品，她发疯时的音乐伴奏特别慢，等她把她的白纱巾从头上取下来，折折好，埋人上中，早有一个闷闷不乐的男观众对演出不耐烦了，他原来一直把鼻子贴在顶层楼座第一排的铁栏杆上，想按捺住自己，却终于大声叫道：“喂，吃奶的娃娃都睡觉了，我们该吃晚饭了！”这一声吆喝无论如何是件糟糕的事。
等到我那位可怜的同乡出场时，一件接一件的洋相已积聚成了哄闹的效果。每逢这位犹豫不决、意志不坚的王子提出一个问题或一处疑点时，观众就在台下帮他出主意，壮声势。比如，当他表演那段著名的独白，说到生存或毁灭时，自问究竟该忍受命运的毒箭，还是挺身反抗人世的苦难，不知两种行为哪一种更高贵时，台下响成一片，有说该忍受的，有说不该的，还有两者都可以的，高叫什么“掷铜钱来决定吧”，于是一片议论之声，七嘴八舌。又如，当他自问道像他这样的家伙，匍匐于天地之间，有什么用处时，台下又轰鸣般地响起“对啊，对啊！”的鼓动声。当他又出现在台上，扮作所穿的长抹掉了下来的样子（根据通常做法，就是把袜子的上方折起来，一般用熨斗烫一下，表示袜子的脱落状），顶层楼座上又响起一片议论，说这条腿苍白得很，莫不是鬼魂出现把他的腿吓白的。当他在台上接过八孔竖笛——很像是刚才交响乐队演奏用的那一支小黑笛，从门口递进来的——台下的观众又叫喊着要他演奏一曲《统治不列颠》。当他告诉被叫进王宫的戏子们不要老是把手在空中挥摇时，那个刚才闷闷不乐的男观众又叫了起来：“我看你不要再胡说八道了，你比他还糟糕呢！”我不得不伤心地说，每逢遇到这种情况，沃甫赛先生总是被大家哄笑一顿。
可是更大的考验是在墓地的一场中。场景像是一处原始森林，一边是一间教堂的洗衣房，另一边是一扇栅栏门。沃甫赛先生出场时，穿了一件宽大的黑色斗篷。观众一看到他在栅栏门露面时，便怀着一片好意对掘墓人提出忠告：“你们要当心！那个殡仪馆的家伙来了，来检查你们干的活儿了！”唉，在我们这样一个已经立宪的国度里，众所周知沃甫赛先生在对着骷髅说教了一番、把骷髅丢回原处后，是不能不从胸口掏出一块白餐巾擦擦手上的灰尘的。这一举动无可非难，也必不可少，然而还是引起了台下的不满，竟然叫起来：“茶——房！”遗体运来安葬时装遗体的是个空黑箱子，上面的盖子被晃开了又引起一阵哄笑，特别当观众发现在抬棺木的人中居然又有那位令人讨厌的青年贵族，哄笑声更是一阵高过一阵。在交响乐队旁边，紧靠着墓地的地方，沃甫赛先生正在演和雷欧提斯决斗那场戏，几乎每一个动作都引得观众发笑，直到他一剑把国王从大菜桌上刺翻在地，然后他本人也慢慢地咽气为止，观众的哄笑取乐之声没有间断过。
在演出刚开始时，我们曾出微力，为沃甫赛先生喝彩助威，不过形势于此不利，便无法再坚持下去。于是我们只有坐在那里，对他留一份同情的心，但事实上我们也不得不笑，而且时时笑得合不上嘴。我甚至笑得忘了形，因为整个演出实在太滑稽奇妙了。在我内心有一个印象，沃甫赛先生所朗诵的台词有时的确很不错，当然我夸奖他并非我们是老相识的缘故，而是我以为，他把台词念得很慢，很凄凉，有时像上山一样直人云霄，有时又像下山一样直落千丈，这是任何一个人在生死关键时刻表现任何情感时都做不到的。最后这出悲剧终于结束，大家正冲他又哄又闹，我对赫伯特说道：“我们快走吧，免得碰到他。”
我们匆匆忙忙走下楼梯，但也没法走快，因为人太多。一到门口就看到一位犹太人模样的男子站在那里，一双浓眉真像抹上去的一样。我的眼睛早就看到了他，等我们走过时，他便对我们说道：
“你们是皮普先生及其朋友吗？”
皮普先生和他的朋友不得不说正是他们二人。
此人对我们说：“沃登加弗尔先生希望能有幸见见两位。”
“沃登加弗尔？”我喃喃地说着，不知是何人。这时赫伯特对我低低说道：“怕就是沃甫赛。”
我答道：“哦，说不定是的。对不起，我们跟着你去。”
“只有几步路。”我们走进一条边角小巷，他回过头来对我们说：“他的扮相如何？我是替他化妆的。”
老实说，我弄不清他的扮相怎么样，只觉得像个穿孝服的人；还有，他的颈项上有一条天蓝色的丝带，吊着一块丹麦的王徽，上面画着一个太阳或是一颗星，样子活像在火灾保险公司保过险一样。尽管如此，我还是赞扬说他的扮相可真不坏。
“他走到坟墓那边去时，”我们的这位带路人说道，”把身上的斗篷一亮出来，可多棒。不过，我从边上看过去，觉得他在王后的寝宫中看到鬼魂时，本来还可以使那双长统袜表现得更帅一些。”
我只有打个哈哈同意他的话。我们经过一扇又小又脏的弹簧门，进入一间像个小箱子式的房间，闷热得很。沃甫赛先生正在里面脱下戏装，从丹麦人再交回英国人。房间小得无法挤身人内，只有开着箱子盖式的门，一个从另一个的肩头上欣赏他的卸装。
“两位先生，”沃甫赛先生对我们说道，“能见到两位是我莫大的荣幸。皮普先生，请你原谅我如此冒昧的邀请。一方面因为我很早就和你相熟，二方面戏剧这个东西是大家承认的，无论贵族之家还是有钱人家，都把戏剧当成风雅之事。”
这时，这位沃登加弗尔先生正拚命地脱下自己身上的王子丧胆，弄得全身是汗。
“沃登加弗尔先生，把长统袜剥下来吧，”长统袜的所有人说道，“再不脱，就要绷破了；一绷破就绷掉了三十五个先令。演莎士比亚从来就没有用过这么好的袜子。你在椅子上坐稳，让我来给你脱。”
说毕他便蹲下自己的腰身，开始为这个受害者剥长统袜。刚刚剥下了一只，这个受害者坐得不稳，便连椅子带人向后面倒下去。幸亏房间小得没有地方倒，所以椅子也倒不下去。
直到此时我一直在担心要对这出戏有所评论，可是沃登加弗尔却得意非凡地望着我们大家，说道：
“先生们，你们在台前观戏，感觉怎样？”
赫伯特从我身后说道：“好极了。”同时用手指头戳了我一下。我也依样画葫芦地说：“好极了。”
“先生们，你们看我这角色表演得如何？”这位沃登加弗尔问道，摆出的派头如果说不是十成，也有八成。
赫伯特在我身后说道：“气势宏伟，生动细致。”同时又用手指戳了我一下。所以我也胆子大了，仿佛自有独特高见，非得一鸣才行，我说：“气势宏伟，生动细致。”
“今天得到你们二位先生的嘉奖，我实在太高兴了。”沃登加弗尔用威风凛凛的神气说着，尽管这时他的背已靠在墙上，而且两只手还紧紧抓住他的坐椅。
“沃登加弗尔先生，我倒有一件事和你谈谈，”蹲下腰身的人说道，“我觉得你的演出有缺点。听我告诉你！我不担心有人会有不同意见，我反正要直言不讳。你演哈姆莱特的缺点是两条腿放偏了。上次的一个哈姆莱特也是我给化妆的，在排练时也是犯同一个错误，于是我就在他的两只脚胚骨上贴上两张大红封条。在又一次的排练时，也是最后一次彩排时，老兄，我就从正厅前座跑到后排去，一看到他表演时向着侧面，两腿放偏，便大声叫道：‘看不到红封条了！’当天晚上演出时，他的表演果然极佳。”
沃登加弗尔先生对我微微一笑，仿佛是说“这是个忠实可靠的混饭人，对于他这种信口雌黄我还是可以宽恕的”。然后，他大声地对我说：“对于这里的观众来说，我的见解古典了些，也含蓄了些；不过他们有待提高，他们有待提高。”
赫伯特和我一齐说，这是自然的，他们一定会提高的。
沃登加弗尔先生说道：“两位先生，你们有没有发现在顶层楼座里有一个人，在演出葬礼那场时一个劲儿地捣蛋，我是说在台上演出葬札那场时，他在台下一个劲儿地乱起哄。”
我们也就顺着说，好像是注意到有这么个人。我又补充说：“他喝醉了，一定喝醉了。”
“哦，先生，他是不会喝醉的，”沃甫赛先生说道，“他的雇主对他留着意呢，先生。他的雇主不会让他喝醉的。”
“你认识他的老板吗？”我问道。
沃甫赛先生闭上他的双眼，然后又睁开来，他的这两项仪式表演得慢慢悠悠。“先生们，你们一定注意到，”他说道，“有一个不学无术胡乱吼叫的蠢驴，声音沙哑，表情卑鄙奸诈。我不想说他巧妙地扮演了，而是说他巧妙地完成了丹麦国王克劳狄斯的role（角色），请原谅我用了一个法文词汇。先生，这就是他的雇主。这就是我们干的这一行！”
我说不清楚要是沃甫赛先生正处于心情沮丧的情况之下我会不会对他表示更大的同情，只是觉得此时对他是够同情的了。趁他正把背带背上，并因此把我们给挤到了门外的这一短暂机会，我便问赫伯特是不是把他请到我们那儿去吃夜宵？赫伯特说这样可以对他聊表寸心。于是我便邀请了他，他也欣然答应，和我们同往，把衣领裹到齐眼睛的地方。在旅馆里我们尽量招待他，他待在那里和我们一直谈到凌晨二时，一方面大谈他个人的成功，另一方面则是他的发展规划。他当时所讲的详情我已忘记，但有一点却记得很清楚，即随着他登上舞台，戏剧便开始振兴；而随着他离开舞台，戏剧将趋于毁灭。只要他一离开人世，戏剧便将一蹶不振，永无机会复兴。
一切结束后，我终于痛苦地上床睡觉，痛苦地思念着埃斯苔娜，痛苦地梦到我的一切所谓遗产都成为泡影，而我不得不和赫伯特的未婚妻克拉娜结婚，否则我只有扮演哈姆莱特，由赫维仙小姐扮演鬼魂，而我站在两万观众之前，连二十个词的台词也说不出来。
Chapter 32
ONE day when I was busy with my books and Mr Pocket, I received a note by the post, the mere outside of which threw me into a great flutter; for, though I had never seen the handwriting in which it was addressed, I divined whose hand it was. It had no set beginning, as Dear Mr Pip, or Dear Pip, or Dear Sir, or Dear Anything, but ran thus: 
`I am to come to London the day after to-morrow by the mid-day coach. I believe it was settled you should meet me? At all events Miss Havisham has that impression, and I write in obedience to it. She sends you her regard. 
Yours, ESTELLA.'
If there had been time, I should probably have ordered several suits of clothes for this occasion; but as there was not, I was fain to be content with those I had. My appetite vanished instantly, and I knew no peace or rest until the day arrived. Not that is arrival brought me either; for, then I was worse than ever, and began haunting the coach-office in wood-street, Cheapside, before the coach had left the Blue Boar in our town. For all that I knew this perfectly well, I still felt as if it were not safe to let the coach-office be out of my sight longer than five minutes at a time; and in this condition of unreason I had performed the first half-hour of a watch of four or five hours, when Wemmick ran against me. 
`Halloa, Mr Pip,' said he; `how do you do? I should hardly have thought this was your beat.'
I explained that I was waiting to meet somebody who was coming up by coach, and I inquired after the Castle and the Aged.
`Both flourishing thankye,' said Wemmick, `and particularly the Aged. He's in wonderful feather. He'll be eighty-two next birthday. I have a notion of firing eighty-two times, if the neighbourhood shouldn't complain, and that cannon of mine should prove equal to the pressure. However, this is not London talk. where do you think I am going to?'
`To the office?' said I, for he was tending in that direction.
`Next thing to it,' returned Wemmick, `I am going to Newgate. We are in a banker's-parcel case just at present, and I have been down the road taking as squint at the scene of action, and thereupon must have a word or two with our client.'
`Did your client commit the robbery?' I asked
`Bless your soul and body, no,' answered Wemmick, very drily. `But he is accused of it. So might you or I be. Either of us might be accused of it, you know.'
`Only neither of us is,' I remarked.
`Yah!' said Wemmick, touching me on the breast with his forefinger; `you're a deep one, Mr Pip! Would you like to have a look at Newgate? Have you time to spare?'
I had so much time to spare, that the proposal came as a relief, notwithstanding its irreconcilability with my latent desire to keep my eye on the coach-office. Muttering that I would make the inquiry whether I had time to walk with him, I went into the office, and ascertained from the clerk with the nicest precision and much to the trying of his temper, the earliest moment at which the coach could be expected - which I knew beforehand, quite as well as he. I then rejoined Mr Wemmick, and affecting to consult my watch and to be surprised by the information I had received, accepted his offer.
We were at Newgate in a few minutes, and we passed through the lodge where some fetters were hanging up on the bare walls among the prison rules, into the interior of the jail. At that time, jails were much neglected, and the period of exaggerated reaction consequent on all public wrong-doing - and which is always its heaviest and longest punishment - was still far off. So, felons were not lodged and fed better than soldiers (to say nothing of paupers), and seldom set fire to their prisons with the excusable object of improving the flavour of their soup. It was visiting time when Wemmick took me in; and a potman was going his rounds with beer; and the prisoners, behind bars in yards, were buying beer, and talking to friends; and a frouzy, ugly, disorderly, depressing scene it was.
It struck me that Wemmick walked among the prisoners, much as a gardener might walk among his plants. This was first put into my head by his seeing a shoot that had come up in the night, and saying, `What, Captain Tom? Are you there? Ah, indeed!' and also, `Is that Black Bill behind the cistern? Why I didn't look for you these two months; how do you find yourself?' Equally in his stopping at the bars and attending to anxious whisperers - always singly - Wemmick with his post-office in an immovable state, looked at them while in conference, as if he were taking particular notice of the advance they had made, since last observed, towards coming out in full blow at their trial.
He was highly popular, and I found that he took the familiar department of Mr Jaggers's business: though something of the state of Mr. Jaggers hung about him too, forbidding approach beyond certain limits. His personal recognition of each successive client was comprised in a nod, and in his settling his hat a little easier on his head with both hands, and then tightening the postoffice, and putting his hands in his pockets. In one or two instances, there was difficulty respecting the raising of fees, and then Mr Wemmick, backing as far as possible from the insufficient money produced, said, `it's no use, my boy. I'm only a subordinate. I can't take it. Don't go on in that way with a subordinate. If you are unable to make up your quantum, my boy, you had better address yourself to a principal; there are plenty of principals in the profession, you know, and what is not worth the while of one, may be worth the while of another; that's my recommendation to you, speaking as a subordinate. Don't try on useless measures. Why should you? Now, who's next?'
Thus, we walked through Wemmick's greenhouse, until he turned to me and said, `Notice the man I shall shake hands with.' I should have done so, without the preparation, as he had shaken hands with no one yet.
Almost as soon as he had spoken, a portly upright man(whom I can see now, as I write) in a well-worn olive-coloured frock-coat, with a peculiar pallor over-spreading the red in his complexion, and eyes that went wandering about when he tried to fix them, came up to a corner of the bars, and put his hand to his hat - which had a greasy and fatty surface like cold broth - with a half-serious and half-jocose military salute.
`Colonel, to you!' said Wemmick; `how are you, Colonel?'
`All right, Mr Wemmick.'
`Everything was done that could be done, but the evidence was too strong for us, Colonel.'
`Yes, it was too strong, sir - but I don't care.'
`No, no,' said Wemmick, coolly, `you don't care.' Then, turning to me, `Served His Majesty this man. Was a soldier in the line and bought his discharge.'
I said, `Indeed?' and the man's eyes looked at me, and then looked over my head, and then looked all round me, and then he drew his hand across his lips and laughed.
`I think I shall be out of this on Monday, sir,' he said to Wemmick.
`Perhaps,' returned my friend, `but there's no knowing.'
`I am glad to have the chance of bidding you good-bye, Mr Wemmick,' said the man, stretching out his hand between two bars.
`Thankye,' said Wemmick, shaking hands with him. `Same to you, Colonel.'
`If what I had upon me when taken, had been real, Mr Wemmick,' said the man, unwilling to let his hand go, `I should have asked the favour of your wearing another ring - in acknowledgment of your attentions.'
`I'll accept the will for the deed,' said Wemmick. `By-the-bye; you were quite a pigeon-fancier.' The man looked up at the sky. `I am told you had a remarkable breed of tumblers. could you commission any friend of yours to bring me a pair, of you've no further use for 'em?'
`It shall be done, sir?'
`All right,' said Wemmick, `they shall be taken care of. Good afternoon, Colonel. Good-bye!' They shook hands again, and as we walked away Wemmick said to me, `A Coiner, a very good workman. The Recorder's report is made to-day, and he is sure to be executed on Monday. Still you see, as far as it goes, a pair of pigeons are portable property, all the same.' With that, he looked back, and nodded at this dead plant, and then cast his eyes about him in walking out of the yard, as if he were considering what other pot would go best in its place.
As we came out of the prison through the lodge, I found that the great importance of my guardian was appreciated by the turnkeys, no less than by those whom they held in charge. `Well, Mr Wemmick,' said the turnkey, who kept us between the two studded and spiked lodge gates, and who carefully locked one before he unlocked the other, `what's Mr Jaggers going to do with that waterside murder? Is he going to make it manslaughter, or what's he going to make of it?'
`Why don't you ask him?' returned Wemmick.
`Oh yes, I dare say!' said the turnkey.
`Now, that's the way with them here. Mr Pip,' remarked Wemmick, turning to me with his post-office elongated. `They don't mind what they ask of me, the subordinate; but you'll never catch 'em asking any questions of my principal.'
`Is this young gentleman one of the 'prentices or articled ones of your office?' asked the turnkey, with a grin at Mr Wemmick's humour.
`There he goes again, you see!' cried Wemmick, `I told you so!Asks another question of the subordinate before his first is dry!Well, supposing Mr pip is one of them?'
`Why then,' said the turnkey, grinning again, `he knows what Mr Jaggers is.'
`Yah!' cried Wemmick, suddenly hitting out at the turnkey in a facetious way, `you're dumb as one of your own keys when you have to do with my principal, you know you are. Let us out, you old fox, or I'll get him to bring an action against you for false imprisonment.'
The turnkey laughed, and gave us good day, and stood laughing at us over the spikes of the wicket when we descended the steps into the street.
`Mind you, Mr Pip,' said Wemmick, gravely in my ear, as he took my arm to be more confidential; `I don't know that Mr Jaggers does a better thing than the way in which he keeps himself so high. He's always so high. His constant height is of a piece with his immense abilities. That Colonel durst no more take leave of him, than that turnkey durst ask him his intentions respecting a case. Then, between his height and them, he slips in his subordinate - don't you see? - and so he has 'em, soul and body.'
I was very much impressed, and not for the first time, by my guardian's subtlety. To confess the truth, I very heartily wished, and not for the first time, that I had had some other guardian of minor abilities.
Mr Wemmick and I parted at the office in Little Britain, where suppliants for Mr Jaggers's notice were lingering about as usual, and I returned to my watch in the street of the coach-office, with some three hours on hand. I consumed the whole time in thinking how strange it was that I should be encompassed by all this taint of prison and crime; that, in my childhood out on our lonely marshes on a winter evening I should have first encountered it; that, it should have reappeared on two occasions, starting out like a stain that was faded but not gone; that, it should in this new way pervade my fortune and advancement. While my mind was thus engaged, I thought of the beautiful young Estella, proud and refined, coming towards me, and I thought with absolute abhorrence of the contrast between the jail and her. I wished that Wemmick had not met me, or that I had not yielded to him and gone with him, so that, of all days in the year on this day, I might not have had Newgate in my breath and on my clothes. I beat the prison dust off my feet as I sauntered to and fro, and I shook it out of my dress, and I exhaled its air from my lungs. So contaminated did I feel, remembering who was coming, that the coach came quickly after all, and I was not yet free from the soiling consciousness of Mr Wemmick's conservatory, when I saw her face at the coach window and her hand waving to me.
What was the nameless shadow which again in that one instant had passed?
 
一天，我正忙于在鄱凯特先生的指导下读书时，收到了一封由邮局送来的信。只看一眼信封，就使我忐忑不安，身上冒出冷汗。因为，尽管信封上的笔迹我从来没有见过，但我已经预感到这封信是谁写来的。信纸上根本没有写“亲爱的皮普先生”、“亲爱的皮普”或者“亲爱的先生”等字样，甚至连“亲爱的”这类词都没有，一开始便写道：
“我将于后日搭乘中午马车赴伦敦。我想你曾答应会来接我，是吗？无论如何都维仙小姐对你的承诺有印象，所以我遵命写信通知你。她要我向你问好。埃斯苔娜”
我想如果时间允许，为了她来伦敦这一光辉时刻，我也该订做几套华美服装。当然这已经来不及了，只有用原有的旧衣服将就一下。这一突然事件使我的胃口顿减，直到她来的这天，我的心境一直紊乱一片，无法平静下来。而这天到了之后，我的情况只有更糟，马车还没有从我的故乡蓝野猪饭店开出，我就到了齐普塞德的伍德街驿站旁边溜达。我心中自然有数，可是总感到不放心，所以每隔五分钟就要看一下驿站马车是否已到。在这种方寸已乱的情况下，好容易挨了半个小时，倒好像等了四五个钟点一样。就这时，只见温米克朝着我走来。
“喂，皮普先生，”他说道，“你好！真没有想到这里也成了你的游猎地区了。”
我连忙向他解释，我正在等一位朋友，此人所乘马车即将抵达。我又问起他的城堡和那位老人家。
“哦谢谢你，都好都好，”温米克说道，“特别是我的老爸爸，他精神可好啦，今年生日一过就整整八十二岁了。我正在合计，准备放八十二炮祝贺他的生日，当然要看四边邻居有没有意见，还要看我的这门炮吃得消吃不消。无论如何，这可绝不是伦敦的话题。你猜我现在上哪儿去？”
“自然是去事务所了。”我看他是朝着那个方向走的，所以才这么说。
“差不多，”温米克说道，“我正要到新门监狱去。我们正接受一桩盗窃银行的案子，我刚才在来的路上对事发现场做了一次视察，现在赶去和案件当事人交换点意见。”
“你们的当事人就是犯案的强盗吗？”我问道。
“不不，这怎么会呢，”温米克用很冷淡的语气说道，“他只是被人控告而已，你和我也可能被人控告，我们谁都会被人家指控，这是人尽皆知的。”
“可是现在我们两人谁也没有受到控告。”我答道。
“哦唷！”温米克说道，用食指戳了一下我的胸口，“你真有心眼儿，皮普先生！你高兴到新门监狱去看一下吗？你有时间吗？”
确实，我有很多时间，所以他一提出这个建议，真使我喜出望外。虽然他的建议和我想待在驿站等候马车的愿望相反，但我还是想趁此机会去消磨一下时间。我嘴上装着不情愿地喃喃自语，说得到驿站办公室中去打听一下时间，看是否来得及去一次新门监狱。办公室里的办事员很不耐烦，说最早马车也得在几时几分到，说得那么精确具体，其实，他不说我也和他一样知道得很清楚。然后，我回到温米克那里，又假装说要看一下表，十分惊讶地说道还有时间去一下，这才接受了他的建议。
只几分钟我们就到了新门监狱。我们走进门房，只见几面光秃的墙上写着牢房规则，而规则中的字句都被挂在那里的镣铐遮挡住了。我们又从门房走进了监狱的内部。在那个时代，监狱管理实在马虎，后来才施行了过分严厉的管理，结果又造成错误，其实这正是对错误最严肃和最持久的惩罚。那时的重罪犯人在牢房中行动并不受约束，而且伙食比士兵们还好，更不用说比贫民好了。这样他们也就很少为了改进他们的饮食而放火烧监狱了。温米克和我进去的时候正是探监开始，啤酒店里来的侍者正在里面卖啤酒；犯人们都在院子里的酒吧前面购买啤酒，有的正和朋友们谈着心。这副景象混合着霉臭、恶心和混乱，使人感到沉闷、压抑。
温米克穿行于犯人之中好像在他的花园中漫步一样潇洒自如，这给我的印象很深。我有这种印象不是没有原因的，比如他看到花园里又在前夜出了一株新苗，便对他说道：“喂，汤姆船长吗？你怎么也来了？唉！真是。”然后又对另一株老苗说：“站在水池后面的不是布莱克•比尔吗？不见你已有两个月了，你怎么样呢？”同样，他一站在酒吧前，许多焦急的犯人便对他低声絮语，当然总是一个一个进行的，而温米克本人的那张邮筒口式长方大嘴却一动也不动。他总是看着他们倾听着谈话，仿佛他特别注意的是自从上次见面后他们有了哪些改进，在下一次提审时能不能繁花盛开。
温米克在犯人中人头很熟，我发现他是贾格斯先生在这里联络感情的人，虽然在他的身上也表现出贾格斯先生的神态，所以和他接近也是有一定限制的，不能越过界线。和他有关的那些当事人和他招呼时，他一律都以点头答谢，同时用他的双手在帽边上挪动一下，然后闭紧他那张邮筒口式的嘴巴，又把两手插进口袋。有一两次他的客户一时难以筹措付给律师的费用，这时温米克先生尽快地把手缩了回来，不收这笔不足的费用，说：“老兄弟，这可不行啊！我只不过是人家的雇员，你这笔不足的费用我不敢收下，不要和一个雇员找麻烦啦。要是你拿不出应交的费用，老兄弟，你最好拜托另一位大律师为你办事。干这行的大律师多得很，你心中有数，你付这个律师的钱不够，而付给另一位律师却够了。我只是以一个雇员的身份向你提建议而已。人总不该做徒劳无益的事吧，这么着又何苦呢？下一位是谁？”
监狱就是温米克的花房，当时我同他就在这花房中散步，他回过头来对我说：“马上我要和一个人握手，你注意一下。”即使他不特别关照我，我也会留心注意的，因为他到现在为止还没有和别人握过手呢。
他的话还没有说完，我就看见一位相貌堂堂、腰身挺直的人（现在我提笔写作的时候，他的形象仍然历历在目），身穿一件旧的橄榄绿军服，红通通的双颊蒙上了一种死灰色的苍白，两只眼睛一注意什么便滴溜溜地转动。他向着铁栅栏的一角走过来时，一眼望到温米克，便把手放在帽沿上，对温米克行了一个半严肃半开玩笑似的军礼。他的帽子上有一层像冰肉冻一样的油腻。
“上校，向你致敬！”温米克说道，“上校，你好吗？”
“很好，温米克先生。”
“上校，能办的事都已办完，但是证据确实太充分。”
“是的，先生，证据太充分了，不过对这个问题我并不在乎。”
“是的，你是不在乎的。”温米克冷冷地答道，然后扭过头来对我说：“这一位本来服役于皇家军队，是正式的军人，是花了钱才退役的。”
我道：“是真的？”于是此人用眼睛望望我，又望望我的后脑勺，再通身上下地打量了我一番，然后用手捂住嘴笑了起来。
“先生，我看这种案子在星期一可以了结了吧。”他对温米克说道。
“也许吧，”我的朋友答道，“不过，还不能确定。”
“温米克先生，”此人从铁栅栏中伸出一只手过来，说道，“我很高兴有此机会和你说一声再见。”
“谢谢你，”温米克边和他握手边说道，“上校，我也很高兴和你握手道别。”
“温米克先生，在我被捕的时候，要是我身上带的是真货，”此人一直握住温米克的手，不情愿放开，说道，“我早就请你赏脸，让你手指上多上一枚戒指了，并以此答谢你对我的关怀。”
“你的一番心意我领了，”温米克说道，“顺便问一声，我知道你是一位很不错的养鸽迷。”此人听后把头抬得高高的，眼睛仰望着天空。温米克接着说：“我听说你饲养着各种翻飞鸽。要是你以后不再需要这些鸽子了，能不能托你的朋友方便时带一对给我？”
“那一定可以，先生。”
“就这样，”温米克说道，“我会好好饲养这对鸽子的。祝下午好，上校，再见！”他们又一次握手，然后我们离开了他。温米克对我说道：“这是个造假币的人，手艺非常高明。这件案子今天已定了，星期一肯定执行死刑。不过你看，就当前情况来说，一对鸽子也算是笔动产了。”说毕，他又回头看了一下，并且对那株即将死去的植物点了点头，然后便走出院子，并一直用眼睛在四周张望，仿佛在深思能否发现另一盆花木来代替即将死去的那一株。
我们正通过门房走出监狱时，我发现我的监护人不仅在那些被监禁的囚犯眼中是大有名气，而且在看守们眼中也是众口皆碑的人物。这时我们正走到两扇钉了钉子、装了倒刺的大门之间，那位看守仔细地把一道门锁上，却没有立即打开另一道门，而是说道：“温米克先生，我想问一下，贾格斯先生对于那件河滨谋杀案打算如何处理？是办成过失杀人罪，还是其他什么罪？”
“你为什么不问他自己呢？”温米克反问道。
“哦，是的，是这样！”看守说道。
“皮普先生，你看，和这些人打交道都是这样，”温米克转过脸来，把他那张邮筒口式的嘴拉长着说道，“他们总是这样毫无顾忌地问我这个那个，因为我是雇员；可他们从来不敢当面向我的大律师提出这个那个问题。”
“这位年轻人是你们事务所的学徒还是新来的练习生呢？”这看守听了温米克诙谐的话后，笑着问道。
“你看，又是这副样子来了，”温米克大声嚷道，“我说的没有错吧！第一个问题还没有完，又向我这个受雇人员问起第二个问题了。好吧，你说次普先生是学徒又怎么呢？”
这个看守又笑着露出牙齿说道：“那他就知道贾格斯先生是什么人了。”
“唷！”温米克逗趣地打了看守一拳，大声说道，“你和我的主子打交道时，就变得像牢旁钥匙一样哑口无言，什么话也说不出了。你这只老狐狸，快放我们出去，要么我就请贾格斯先生告你私自拘禁罪。”
看守笑着向我们说再见，等我们走下石阶到了街上时，还见到他正从装着倒刺的铁栅门上探出头来对我们笑着。
“皮普先生，我告诉你，”温米克先非常真诚地拉住我的胳膊，在我耳边正正经经地说道，“据我所知，贾格斯先生做得最漂亮的事就是摆出高不可攀的架子。他经常摆出高傲的架子是因为他有很大的神通。那位上校就不敢和他道别，就好像这位看守一样，不敢向他探听有关案情。在他的高不可攀和这类人之间为寻求一种联系，他便要有一个帮手居于二者之间，你看，这不是完完全全玩他们于股掌之间嘛。”
我监护人的精妙手腕早就在我心中留下了极其深刻的印象。说句心里话吧，我早就希望我的监护人不像现在这个样子，如果能力小一些那就更好了。
在小不列颠街的律师事务所门口，我和温米克先生分了手。门口依旧有不少人走来走去，都是来求贾格斯先生帮助的。我自己回到驿站所在的那条街，继续等候马车，计算一下还需三个小时马车才能来。于是，我便开始思索，世界上的事情无奇不有，那监狱和犯罪的气息总是在我身边神山鬼没地包围着；早在我孩提时代，在那冬日沼泽地上的一个黄昏，我就和这团气息首次相遇；后来又有两次，就像虽褪色却没有消失的污秽一样又重复地和我相遇过。如今，正当我处于锦绣前程的幸运之中，它又隐隐地向我袭来。我的心思正被这些思想占据时，大脑又出现了年轻美貌的埃斯苔娜，那般高傲，那般雅洁，马上便会向我迎面走来。我越想越恨，竟然把她和监狱相提并论。于是我又想，如果不遇到温米克就好了，或者虽然遇到他而不和他同往新门监狱，那也很好。可是在一年的三百六十五天中，就恰巧是今天我去了新门监狱，吸进了监狱中的臭气，沾上了监狱中的污尘。于是，当我在街上来往走动时，我先把从狱中带来的尘土从脚上跺去，又把衣服上沾的狱中灰土拍干净，再把从狱中吸进的臭气完全从肺中呼出。我忆起今天来到这地方迎接的是谁，遂感到全身染满了污秽，因而倒认为马车来得过早了。我在温米克的花房中所带来的乌烟瘴气还没有消散，突然迎面驶来的马车中，埃斯苔娜的面孔已在窗户中出现，她的手正向我频频挥动。
我不知道究竟是一个什么阴影倾刻之间又在眼前闪过。
Chapter 33
IN her furred travelling-dress, Estella seemed more delicately beautiful than she had ever seemed yet, even in my eyes. Her manner was more winning than she had cared to let it be to me before, and I thought I saw Miss Havisham's influence in the change. 
We stood in the Inn Yard while she pointed out her luggage to me, and when it was all collected I remembered - having forgotten everything but herself in the meanwhile - that I knew nothing of her destination
`I am going to Richmond,' she told me. `Our lesson is, that there are two Richmonds, one in Surrey and one Yorkshire, and that mine is the Surrey Richmond. The distance is ten miles. I am to have a carriage, and you are to take me. This is my purse, and you are to pay my charges out of it. Oh, you must take the purse! We have no choice, you and I, but to obey our instructions. We are not free to follow our own devices, you and I.'
As she looked at me in giving me the purse, I hoped there was an inner meaning in her words. She said them slightingly, but not with displeasure.
`A carriage will have to be sent for, Estella. Will you rest here a little?'
`Yes, I am to rest here a little, and I am to drink some tea, and you are to take care of me the while.'
She drew her arm through mine, as if it must be done, and I requested a waiter who had been staring at the coach like a man who had never seen such a thing in his life, to show us a private sitting-room. Upon that, he pulled out a napkin, as if it were a magic clue without which he couldn't find the way up-stairs, and led us to the black hole of the establishment: fitted up with a diminishing mirror (quite a superfluous article considering the hole's proportions), an anchovy sauce-cruet, and somebody's pattens. On my objecting to this retreat, he took us into another room with a dinner-table for thirty, and in the grate a scorched leaf of a copy-book under a bushel of coal-dust. Having looked at this extinct conflagration and shaken his head, he took my order: which, proving to be merely `Some tea for the lady,' sent him out of the room in a very low state of mind.
I was, and I am, sensible that the air of this chamber, in its strong combination of stable with soup-stock, might have led one to infer that the coaching department was not doing well, and that the enterprising proprietor was boiling down the horses for the refreshment department. Yet the room was all in all to me, Estella being in it. I thought that with her I could have been happy there for life. (I was not at all happy there at the time, observe, and I knew it well.)
`Where are you going to, at Richmond?' I asked Estella.
`I am going to live,' said she, `at a great expense, with a lady there, who has the power - or says she has - of taking me about, and introducing me, and showing people to me and showing me to people.'
`I suppose you will be glad of variety and admiration?'
`Yes, I suppose so.'
She answered so carelessly, that I said, `You speak of yourself as if you were some one else.'
`Where did you learn how I speak of others? Come, come,' said Estella, smiling delightfully, `you must not expect me to go to school to you; I must talk in my own way. How do you thrive with Mr Pocket?'
`I live quite pleasantly there; at least--' It appeared to me that I was losing a chance.
`At least?' repeated Estella.
`As pleasantly as I could anywhere, away from you.'
`You silly boy,' said Estella, quite composedly, `how can you talk such nonsense? Your friend Mr Matthew, I believe, is superior to the rest of his family?'
`Very superior indeed. He is nobody's enemy--'
`Don't add but his own,' interposed Estella, `for I hate that class of man. But he really is disinterested, and above small jealousy and spite, I have heard?'
`I am sure I have every reason to say so.'
`You have not every reason to say so of the rest of his people,' said Estella, nodding at me with an expression of face that was at once grave and rallying, `for they beset Miss Havisham with reports and insinuations to your disadvantage. They watch you, misrepresent you, write letters about you (anonymous sometimes), and you are the torment and the occupation of their lives. You can scarcely realize to yourself the hatred those people feel for you.'
`They do me no harm, I hope?'
Instead of answering, Estella burst out laughing. This was very singular to me, and I looked at her in considerable perplexity. When she left off - and she had not laughed languidly, but with real enjoyment - I said, in my diffident way with her:
`I hope I may suppose that you would not be amused if they did me any harm.'
`No, no you may be sure of that,' said Estella. `You may be certain that I laugh because they fail. Oh, those people with Miss Havisham, and the tortures they undergo!' She laughed again, and even now when she had told me why, her laughter was very singular to me, for I could not doubt its being genuine, and yet it seemed too much for the occasion. I thought there must really be something more here than I knew; she saw the thought in my mind, and answered it.
`It is not easy for even you.' said Estella, `to know what satisfaction it gives me to see those people thwarted, or what an enjoyable sense of the ridiculous I have when they are made ridiculous. For you were not brought up in that strange house from a mere baby. - I was. You had not your little wits sharpened by their intriguing against you, suppressed and defenceless, under the mask of sympathy and pity and what not that is soft and soothing. - I had. You did not gradually open your round childish eyes wider and wider to the discovery of that impostor of a woman who calculates her stores of peace of mind for when she wakes up in the night. - I did.'
I was no laughing matter with Estella now, nor was she summoning these remembrances from any shallow place. I would not have been the cause of that look of hers, for all my expectations in a heap.
`Two things I can tell you,' said Estella. `First, notwithstanding the proverb that constant dropping will wear away a stone, you may set your mind at rest that these people never will - never would, in hundred years - impair your ground with Miss Havisham, in any particular, great or small. Second, I am beholden to you as the cause of their being so busy and so mean in vain, and there is my hand upon it.'
As she gave it me playfully - for her darker mood had been but momentary - I held it and put it to my lips. `You ridiculous boy,' said Estella, `will you never take warning? Or do you kiss my hand in the same spirit in which I once let you kiss my cheek?'
`What spirit was that?' said I.
`I must think a moment A spirit of contempt for the fawners and plotters.'
`If I say yes, may I kiss the cheek again?'
`You should have asked before you touched the hand. But, yes, if you like.'
I leaned down, and her calm face was like a statue's. `Now,' said Estella, gliding away the instant I touched her cheek, `you are to take care that I have some tea, and you are to take me to Richmond.'
Her reverting to this tone as if our association were forced upon us and we were mere puppets, gave me pain; but everything in our intercourse did give me pain. Whatever her tone with me happened to be, I could put no trust in it, and build no hope on it; and yet I went on against trust and against hope. Why repeat it a thousand times? So it always was.
I rang for the tea, and the waiter, reappearing with his magic clue, brought in by degrees some fifty adjuncts to that refreshment but of tea not a glimpse. A teaboard, cups and saucers, plates, knives and forks (including carvers), spoons (various), saltcellars, a meek little muffin confined with the utmost precaution under a strong iron cover, Moses in the bullrushes typified by a soft bit of butter in a quantity of parsley, a pale loaf with a powdered head, two proof impressions of the bars of the kitchen fire-place on triangular bits of bread, and ultimately a fat family urn: which the waiter staggered in with, expressing in his countenance burden and suffering. After a prolonged absence at this stage of the entertainment, he at length came back with a casket of precious appearance containing twigs. These I steeped in hot water, and so from the whole of these appliances extracted one cup of I don't know what, for Estella.
The bill paid, and the waiter remembered, and the ostler not forgotten, and the chambermaid taken into consideration - in a word, the whole house bribed into a state of contempt and animosity, and Estella's purse much lightened - we got into our post-coach and drove away. Turning into Cheapside and rattling up Newgate-street, we were soon under the walls of which I was so ashamed.
`What place is that?' Estella asked me.
I made a foolish pretence of not at first recognizing it, and then told her. As she looked at it, and drew in her head again, murmuring `Wretches!' I would not have confessed to my visit for any consideration.
`Mr Jaggers,' said I, by way of putting it neatly on somebody else, `has the reputation of being more in the secrets of that dismal place than any man in London.'
`He is more in the secrets of every place, I think,' said Estella, in a low voice.
`You have been accustomed to see him often, I suppose?'
`I have been accustomed to see him at uncertain intervals, ever since I can remember. But I know him no better now, that I did before I could speak plainly. What is your own experience of him? Do you advance with him?'
`Once habituated to his distrustful manner,' said I, `I have done very well.'
`Are you intimate?'
`I have dined with him at his private house.'
`I fancy,' said Estella, shrinking `that must be a curious place.'
`It is a curious place.'
I should have been chary of discussing my guardian too freely even with her; but I should have gone on with the subject so far as to describe the dinner in Gerrard-street, if we had not then come into a sudden glare of gas. It seemed, while it lasted, to be all alight and alive with that inexplicable feeling I had had before; and when we were out of it, I was as much dazed for a few moments as if I had been in Lightning.
So, we fell into other talk, and it was principally about the way by which we were travelling, and about what parts of London lay on this side of it, and what on that. The great city was almost new to her, she told me, for she had never left Miss Havisham's neighbourhood until she had gone to France, and she had merely passed through London then in going and returning. I asked her if my guardian had any charge of her while she remained here? To that she emphatically said `God forbid!' and no more.
It was impossible for me to avoid seeing that she cared to attract me; that she made herself winning; and would have won me even if the task had needed pains. Yet this made me none the happier, for, even if she had not taken that tone of our being disposed of by others, I should have felt that she held my heart in her hand because she wilfully chose to do it, and not because it would have wrung any tenderness in her, to crush it and throw it away.
When we passed through Hammersmith, I showed her where Mr Matthew Pocket lived, and said it was no great way from Richmond, and that I hoped I should see her sometimes.
`Oh yes, you are see me; you are to come when you think proper; you are to be mentioned to the family; indeed you are already mentioned.'
I inquired was it a large household she was going to be a member of?
`No; there are only two; mother and daughter. The mother is a lady of some station, though not averse to increasing her income.'
`I wonder Miss Havisham could part with you again so soon.'
`It is a part of Miss Havisham's plans for me, Pip,'said Estella, with a sigh, as if she were tired; `I am to write to her constantly and see her regularly and report how I go on - I and the jewels - for they are nearly all mine now.'
It was the first time she had ever called me by my name. Of course she did so, purposely, and knew that I should treasure it up.
We came to Richmond all too soon, and our destination there, was a house by the Green; a staid old house, where hoops and powder and patches, embroidered coats rolled stockings ruffles and swords, had had their court days many a time. Some ancient trees before the house were still cut into fashions as formal and unnatural as the hoops and wigs and stiff skirts; but their own allotted places in the great procession of the dead were not far off, and they would soon drop into them and go the silent way of the rest.
A bell with an old voice - which I dare say in its time had often said to the house, Here is the green farthingale, Here is the diamondhilted sword, Here are the shoes with red heels and the blue solitaire, - sounded gravely in the moonlight, and two cherrycoloured maids came fluttering out to receive Estella. The doorway soon absorbed her boxes, and she gave me her hand and a smile, and said good night, and was absorbed likewise. And still I stood looking at the house, thinking how happy I should be if I lived there with her, and knowing that I never was happy with her, but always miserable.
I got into the carriage to be taken back to Hammersmith, and I got in with a bad heart-ache, and I got out with a worse heart-ache. At our own door, I found little Jane Pocket coming home from a little party escorted by her little lover; and I envied her little lover, in spite of his being subject to Flopson.
Mr Pocket was out lecturing; for, he was a most delightful lecturer on domestic economy, and his treatises on the management of children and servants were considered the very best text-books on those themes. But, Mrs Pocket was at home, and was in a little difficulty, on account of the baby's having been accommodated with a needle-case to keep him quiet during the unaccountable absence (with a relative in the Foot Guards) of Millers. And more needles were missing, than it could be regarded as quite wholesome for a patient of such tender years either to apply externally or to take as a tonic
Mr Pocket being justly celebrated for giving most excellent practical advice, and for having a clear and sound perception of things and a highly judicious mind, I had some notion in my heartache of begging him to accept my confidence. But, happening to look up at Mrs Pocket as she sat reading her book of dignities after prescribing Bed as a sovereign remedy for baby, I thought - Well - No, I wouldn't.
 
在我看来，埃斯苔娜今天比以往任何时候都更加风雅秀美。她穿了一件毛皮的旅行大衣，仪表也更加楚楚动人，比以往任何时候都更富于吸引力，使我对她倾倒。我看得出是郝维仙小姐对她施加的影响，她才有今天的变化。
我们来到旅馆，走进院子时，她就指给我看她带来的行李。待把行李整顿到一起，我这才想起还不知道她的去向，因为除了她本身外，我把一切早已忘得干干净净。
“我要到雷溪梦去。”她告诉我，“我知道有两个雷溪梦，一个在苏利，另一个在约克郡，我要去的是苏利的雷溪梦，离这儿有十英里。我得去雇一辆马车，然后你把我送过去。这是我的钱袋，你从里面拿钱出来付车费。噢，你必须拿着这钱袋！无论是你还是我都不能选择，只有服从命令。无论是你还是我都不能想干什么就干什么。”
她在把钱袋递到我手上时望着我，我希望能悟出她的话中之话。她说话时虽有些儿轻蔑意思，但没有看出有什么不愉快。
“埃斯苔娜，马车得找人去叫，你是不是在这儿休息一会儿？”
“好吧，我在这儿先休息一会儿，我还想喝点茶，你这会儿要陪陪我。”
她把她的手臂伸过来挽住我的手臂，好像她非得这样做不可。我告诉一个茶房给我们找一间安静的屋子，他这时正睁大了眼睛看着那辆驿车，真好像在他一辈子中从来没有见过这东西似的。他听到我的话后便拿出一条餐巾，好像这是一条神秘线索，不带上它就不可能上楼似的。他把我们领到楼上一间黑洞洞的屋子里，里面有一面没有框架的镜子（就这间小黑屋子的大小来看，这面镜子实在是件多余的物品）、一个盛着(鱼是)鱼汁的佐料瓶和一双不知是谁穿的木拖鞋。由于我不喜欢这一处，他便领我们到了另一个房间，里面摆了一张可供三十个人用餐的大餐桌，壁炉里有一蒲式耳的煤灰，煤灰下面有一页烧焦了的抄本纸。这个茶房看了一眼这一堆已经熄灭的死灰，摇了摇头，便来听我点饭菜，可我只叫他为这位小姐沏茶，他于是垂头丧气地走了出去。
我一闻这个房间里的空气，是一股强烈的马厩和马肉汤混合气味，至今难忘。这便不得已使我想到是否驿站的生意不佳，老板便把马宰了用肉煮汤在饮食服务部出售。不过，只要埃斯苔娜在这里，我就心满意足，其他一切也就顾不到了。我思忖着，只要和她在一起，我一生便会幸福，其实，我心中非常明白，就在当时，我也一点儿也不幸福。
“你到雷溪梦的什么地方呢？”我问埃斯苔娜。
“我到雷溪梦，”她答道，“和一位夫人住在那里，过一种豪华的生活。她有能力让我见世面，领我出人上流社会，让我见识名流，也让名流见识见识我。”
“我想你也很高兴经历环境的变化，博得更多人的崇拜吧？”
“对了，我想是这样的。”
她那么极其随便地回答，我便又问道：“你看你谈自己的事就好像谈别人的事一样。”
“你从什么地方知道我是怎么样讲别人的？得啦，别这么说，”埃斯苔娜得意地笑着说道，“你不要期望我来接受你的教训。我有我自己的谈话方式。我倒要问问你，你和鄱凯特先生相处得怎样？”
“我生活在那里很愉快，至少——”我感到我又失去了一次机会。
“至少？”埃斯苔娜问道。
“不和你在一起，就是愉快，也只是一般性的愉快。”
“你这个傻孩子，”埃斯苔娜非常沉静地说道，“你怎么谈这种无意义的话？我们谈谈你的朋友马休先生吧，我想他一定比他家其余的人都好吧？”
“他确实比其余人更好，不和别人为仇——”
“还要加上他也不和自己作对，”埃斯苔娜打断我的话头说，“我最恨专门和自己作对的人。不过，我听说他倒是真的不贪图私利，妒忌。怨恨这一类的恶性他是没有的。”
“我也这样看，一点不假。”
“你就不能说他家其余的人也像他那样一点不假了，”埃斯苔娜说着，对我点点头，脸上现出严肃的神情，又带些嘲笑的意味，“他们总是围在郝维仙小姐左右，缠着不放，一方面巧妙巴结，一方面打你的小报告，把你讲得一无是处。他们监视你，造你的谣，写信说你的坏话，甚至于写匿名信，说他们一辈子被你坑害了，他们也要一辈子恨你，而你一点也不知道他们是怎么样地恨你。”
“我希望，他们不至于伤害我吧？”
埃斯苔娜没有答复，反而笑了起来。我想这可有些叫人纳闷，便带着非常迷惑不解的神情看着她。她这笑不是没精打采的，而是充满了快意。一直等她笑完了，我才有些羞怯地对她说道：
“他们要是真对我有所伤害，我想你不至于幸灾乐祸吧？”
“我不会的，你可以放心好了，”埃斯苔娜说道，“你该相信我笑是因为他们伤害不了你。哦，那些围住郝维仙小姐纠缠不放的人，结果害人反害己，自己倒霉！” 说着她又大笑起来。虽然她告诉了我笑的原因，我还是感到纳闷。我相信她的笑是出自内心的真情，可是又觉得她的笑过了分。我思索着，是不是其中还有别的我尚未知晓的原因。她看出了我心中的疑窦，于是便解答式地说道：
“我看到这些人受折腾，心中多么地高兴，你自然是一下子难以明白的。这些人的愚蠢可笑行为使我多么开心想笑呵。因为你不是从婴儿起就被关在这所怪房子里长大的，而我是在这怪房子中长大的。这些人表面上同情你，可怜你，暗地里布下阴谋诡计陷害你，因为你忍气吞声，无人帮助，所以听起来句句是甜言蜜语。你没有把脑子磨炼得聪明起来，我的脑子却给磨炼得聪明起来了。你那双孩子气的幼稚眼睛没有慢慢地睁大起来，所以也就没有看见那种女骗子专门睁眼说瞎话的行为，她们从来不关心别人，偏偏说由于关心别人夜里睡不着觉。你看不清楚这些，我可是看得一清二楚。”
埃斯苔娜说到这里，可以看出，她重提旧事并不是把它作为笑料的，也不是从她个人的浅见出发。她的这副样子不会是由于我的大笔遗产而造成的。
“有两件事我可以告诉你，”埃斯苔娜说道，“第一件，虽然俗语说滴水穿石，但你可以不去理会它；你可以放心，这般人即使花上一百年时间也不会得逞，无论在大事或小事上都不会破坏郝维仙小姐对你的看法；第二件，正因为这些人疲于奔命，尽其卑鄙之能事来反对你而忽视了我，我倒要感谢你，这我可以发誓。”
这时，她满脸的愁云在霎时间内完全消逝了。她风趣地把一只手伸给我，我捧住它在嘴边吻了一下。“你这个可笑的孩子，”埃斯苔娜说道，“你真是不接受我的劝告。也许你现在吻我的手和当年我让你吻我的脸是同一个意思？”
“那是什么意思？”我问道。
“我得想一下，是一种对拍马屁和搞阴谋的轻视。”
“要是我说是，我可以再吻一下你的脸吗？”
“在你吻我的手之前你就该问了。不过，只要你高兴，我答应你。”
于是我俯下身子。她的面孔安详得像一尊雕像，简直是毫无情感。我的嘴唇刚接触到她的脸，她便躲闪开来，说道：“现在你叫人把茶水给我送来，你还得马上送我到雷溪梦去。”
她的语调又恢复到老样子，好像我们之间的来往都是被人强迫的，而我们只不过是傀儡而已，这使我内心十分痛苦。其实，我们之间来往的哪一件事不使我痛苦呢？无论她用什么语气对待我，我都不能对它信以为真，或对它怀抱希望；同时也不能绝对不信，或者绝对失望。反正事情就是如此，何必去重复一千次一万次呢？
我打铃要茶，那位茶房又带着他那条神秘线索的餐巾来了，并且一次一次地搬进五十多件餐具，就是看不见茶。他拿进来的有茶盘、茶杯、盆子、茶碟、刀叉，包括大切刀，还有各式调羹、盐瓶；一块柔软的小松饼，上面盖着紧紧的铁盖；一块松软的奶油，下面垫着为数不少的荷兰芹，看上去真像《圣经》中躺在蒲草箱中的胖娃娃摩西；一块面包，上面撒了粉状的东西；另外还有两块三角形的面包，上面留着烤箱铁格的烙印；最后才是一把肥胖的家用茶壶。茶房拖着脚步走进走出，面孔上表现出疲倦和受苦的样子，拖延了好半天才把东西放好，然后才拿来一只外表精致的小盒子，里面放的是小树枝一般的茶叶。我这才冲开水沏茶，又随手从这一大堆餐具中拿了一只茶杯，倒了一杯给埃斯苔娜。
喝完茶后随即付账，自然没有忘记给茶房小费，给马车夫小费，连女侍者也没有忽视。总之，整个旅馆的人都得到了好处，结果弄得他们好像受了污辱，甚至射来敌视的眼光。埃斯苔娜的钱袋变轻了。我们登上马车后即刻离去。马车一转弯便驶进了齐普塞德，叮叮当当地在新门街上前进，两旁是高高的围墙。我一看到这围墙便感到羞愧。
“这儿是什么地方？”埃斯苔娜问我。
起先我愚蠢地装作没有认出是什么地方，然后才告诉她是什么地方。她伸出头望了望，又把头缩回来，低低说了一声：“全都是坏蛋！”当然我一定不会告诉她刚才我还来过这里呢。
我这时轻而易举地把话题引到了别人身上，说：“贾格斯先生在这个鬼地方可有名望呢，他掌握了许多秘密，在伦敦是没有人可以和他相比的。”
“在我看来，无论什么地方他掌握的秘密都比别人多。”埃斯苔娜低低地说。
“我猜，你常和他见面吧，对他的一套已经习惯了。”
“自从我能记事开始，和他见面确是习以为常，不过见面的时间是不定的。至今我还是对他了解不深，了解的程度和我刚刚学话时对他的了解差不多。你和他打交道，觉得他怎么样？你和他相处还好吗？”
“我习惯了他那种对一切怀疑的神气后，”我对她说道，“和他相处倒是蛮好的。”
“你们来往亲密无间吗？”
“我只到他家中吃过饭。”
埃斯苔娜犹豫了一下，说道：“我想他住的房子也是个古怪希奇的地方。”
“是个古怪希奇的所在。”
我本该小心谨慎地谈论我的监护人，结果却自由地和她谈了起来；如果当时我们没有突然被煤气灯的亮光照射得头昏眼花，我就会详细告诉她那次在吉拉德街吃饭的情况。亮光持续着，好像四周全被照得通亮，我心头出现一种从来没遇到过的、难以言说的感觉。一直走过了这一地段，我还感到眼花了几分钟，就好像身处于闪电之中。
我们的话题由此而改变，主要谈论着我们马车所经过的这条路，如这条路左边是伦敦的什么地方，右边又是伦敦的什么地方。对她来说，这座大城市也是陌生的。她告诉我，在她去法国之前一直未离郝维仙小姐左右，即使到法国也只是来去两次经过伦敦而已。我又问她，她现在住在伦敦，是否也受我的监护人监管。听了这句话，她斩钉截铁地答道：“但愿不受他监管！”只说了这一句，其他的话就没有了。
她一心专注于吸引我，想战胜我。只要达到令我倾心于她，她可以不惜任何代价。我想逃避这点是绝对不可能的。然而，这并不能使我愉快，因为即使她没有表现出我们之间的来往全由别人一手安排的意思，我也意识到她把我的心紧紧地抓在她的手中，无非是出于她自己的任性而已，而不是因为她对我有任何柔情蜜意，舍不得把我的心捏碎，然后再把捏碎的心抛掉。
我们的马车经过汉莫史密斯时，我把马休•鄱凯特先生的住房指给她看，并且告诉她这里离雷溪梦不太远，我表示希望以后有机会到雷溪梦去看她。
“噢，那当然了，你要来看我；你觉得什么时候合适，就什么时候来看我。我会把你的名字告诉那家人，其实早就提到过你的名字了。”
我问她，她现在去的那一家是不是有很多人的大家庭？
“不是大家庭，只有两个人，也就是母女两人。母亲是个贵妇人，很有社会影响，我想，但对于增加收入来说，她是不会反对的。”
“我真想知道为什么你刚回来，郝维仙小姐却又愿意和你分开。”
“皮普，这是郝维仙小姐培养我的一项计划，”埃斯苔娜叹了口气，好像带有十分的倦意，说道，“现在我要常给她写信，定期回去看她，向她汇报我的情况，包括我的珠宝情况，因为那些珠宝现在几乎全都归我所有了。”
这是她第一次用“皮普”称呼我。当然，她如此称呼是故意的，因为她知道我很珍视这种称呼。
我们很快便抵达雷溪梦，在那绿色如茵的草地上矗立着一座庄严而古老的宅邸，这便是我们的目的地。很久以前，这里是宫廷所在地。当年每逢朝觐之日，曾有无数宫娥身着丽裙，面敷暗粉，脸贴美人斑；而英雄骑士们则身穿锦绣外衣，双腿外罩长袜，头上羽毛飞扬，手中刀剑生辉。这所宅邸前有几棵古老树木，仍然修剪得整整齐齐，但是看上去就和那些丽裙假发一样，和四周很不相称。可是这些树木和业已逝去的当年主人相距不远，看来不久也将加入他们的亡魂行列，进入永恒的寂。
苍老的门铃声响起。一听这铃声我不由在想这座宅邸的往昔，铃声不时通报着：身着鲸骨箍撑起的华贵绿裙的王妃到；手执钻石镶成的佩剑的骑士到；脚蹬红色后跟镶蓝宝石鞋的夫人到。而现在正当门铃声肃穆地在月光下回荡时，两位身穿樱桃红衣服的侍女飘然而出，来迎接埃斯苔娜。随即，她的箱子行李在那扇门后面消失了。她把手伸给我，微笑着向我道过晚安，然后也在那扇门后面消失了。而我仍旧痴呆地站在那里，傻乎乎地默望看房子，心想，假如我和她一起住在这里将会多么幸福！然而我明明知道，如果和她在一起我将永远得不到幸福，得到的永远只是不幸。
我重上马车，由它把我带回到汉莫史密斯。上车时我感到心情苦闷，下车时心情更加苦闷。在门口，我看到小珍妮•鄱凯特刚从一个小型舞会上回来，由她的小情人陪着。尽管这位小情人受到芙萝普莘的管制，但我对他倒是挺羡慕的。
鄱凯特先生出外讲学去了，在家庭管理方面他是最出色的教师，他写的关于如何管理儿童和仆役方面的论文被一致认为是这一领域最优秀的教科书。不过，鄱凯特夫人正在家中，她遇上了麻烦事，因为米耐丝不告而出（她有个亲戚在近卫步兵团里），鄱凯特夫人只好拿了一个针盒子给小宝宝玩，让它乖乖地不吵，结果针盒子中的针少了好多；就是拿这些针给小宝宝打针治病，像这样幼小的孩子怎么能经受得住，如果再把它当作补药吃进去，那可更不得了。
鄱凯特先生在家庭管理方面的献计献策是出了名的，而且既实用又有效，合情合理，条理分明，准确无误。我正打算把我的伤心事全盘向他倾诉，以求获得他的指点，但是抬起头，只看到鄱凯特夫人坐在那儿看她的贵族谱，小宝贝已被放到了床上，好像床是治病的神灵。于是，我刚才的念头全被打消了，心想，算了，我不必倾诉了。
Chapter 34
AS I had grown accustomed to my expectations, I had insensibly begun to notice their effect upon myself and those around me. Their influence on my own character, I disguised from my recognition as much as possible, but I knew very well that it was not all good. I lived in a state of chronic uneasiness respecting my behaviour to Joe. My conscience was not by any means comfortable about Biddy. When I woke up in the night - like Camilla - I used to think, with a weariness on my spirits, that I should have been happier and better if I had never seen Miss Havisham's face, and had risen to manhood content to be partners with Joe in the honest old forge. Many a time of an evening, when I sat alone looking at the fire, I thought, after all, there was no fire like the forge fire and the kitchen fire at home. 
Yet Estella was so inseparable from all my restlessness and disquiet of mind, that I really fell into confusion as to the limits of my own part in its production. That is to say, supposing I had had no expectations, and yet had had Estella to think of, I could not make out to my satisfaction that I should have done much better. Now, concerning the influence of my position on others, I was in no such difficulty, and so I perceived - though dimly enough perhaps - that it was not beneficial to anybody, and, above all, that it was not beneficial to Herbert. My lavish habits led his easy nature into expenses that he could not afford, corrupted the simplicity of his life, and disturbed his peace with anxieties and regrets. I was not at all remorseful for having unwittingly set those other branches of the Pocket family to the poor arts they practised: because such littlenesses were their natural bent, and would have been evoked by anybody else, if I had left them slumbering. But Herbert's was a very different case, and it often caused me a twinge to think that I had done him evil service in crowding his sparely-furnished chambers with incongruous upholstery work, and placing the canary-breasted Avenger at his disposal
So now, as an infallible way of making little ease great ease, I began to contract a quantity of debt. I could hardly begin but Herbert must begin too, so he soon followed. At Startop's suggestion, we put ourselves down for election into a club called The Finches of the Grove: the object of which institution I have never divined, if it were not that the members should dine expensively once a fortnight, to quarrel among themselves as much as possible after dinner, and to cause six waiters to get drunk on the stairs. I Know that these gratifying social ends were so invariably accomplished, that Herbert and I understood nothing else to be referred to in the first standing toast of the society: which ran `Gentlemen, may the present promotion of good feeling ever reign predominant among the Finches of the Grove.'
The Finches spent their money foolishly (the Hotel we dined at was in Covent-garden), and the first Finch I saw, when I had the honour of joining the Grove, was Bentley Drummle: at that time floundering about town in a cab of his own, and doing a great deal of damage to the posts at the street corners. Occasionally, he shot himself out of his equipage head-foremost over the apron; and I saw him on one occasion deliver himself at the door of the Grove in this unintentional way - like coals. But here I anticipate a little for I was not a Finch, and could not be, according to the sacred laws of the society, until I came of age.
In my confidence in my own resources, I would willingly have taken Herbert's expenses on myself; but Herbert was proud, and I could make no such proposal to him. So, he got into difficulties in every direction, and continued to look about him. When we gradually fell into keeping late hours and late company, I noticed that he looked about him with a desponding eye at breakfast-time; that he began to look about him more hopefully about mid-day; that he drooped when he came into dinner; that he seemed to descry Capital in the distance rather clearly, after dinner; that he all but realized Capital towards midnight; and that at about two o'clock in the morning, he became so deeply despondent again as to talk of buying a rifle and going to America, with a general purpose of compelling buffaloes to make his fortune.
I was usually at Hammersmith about half the week, and when I was at Hammersmith I haunted Richmond: whereof separately by-and-by. Herbert would often come to Hammersmith when I was there, and I think at those seasons his father would occasionally have some passing perception that the opening he was looking for, had not appeared yet. But in the general tumbling up of the family, his tumbling out in life somewhere, was a thing to transact itself somehow. In the meantime Mr Pocket grew greyer, and tried oftener to lift himself out of his perplexities by the hair. While Mrs Pocket tripped up the family with her footstool, read her book of dignities, lost her pocket-handkerchief, told us about her grandpapa, and taught the young idea how to shoot, by shooting it into bed whenever it attracted her notice.
As I am now generalizing a period of my life with the object of clearing my way before me, I can scarcely do so better than by at once completing the description of our usual manners and customs at Barnard's Inn
We spent as much money as we could, and got as little for it as people could make up their minds to give us. We were always more or less miserable, and most of our acquaintance were in the same condition. There was a gay fiction among us that we were constantly enjoying ourselves, and a skeleton truth that we never did. To the best of my belief, our case was in the last aspect a rather common one.
Every morning, with an air ever new, Herbert went into the City to look about him. I often paid him a visit in the dark back-room in which he consorted with an ink-jar, a hat-peg, a coal-box, a string-box, an almanack, a desk and stool, and a ruler; and I do not remember that I ever saw him do anything else but look about him. If we all did what we undertake to do, as faithfully as Herbert did, we might live in a Republic of the Virtues. He had nothing else to do, poor fellow, except at a certain hour of every afternoon to `go to Lloyd's' - in observance of a ceremony of seeing his principal, I think. He never did anything else in connexion with Lloyd's that I could find out, except come back again. When he felt his case unusually serious, and that he positively must find an opening, he would go on 'Change at a busy time, and walk in and out, in a kind of gloomy country dance figure, among the assembled magnates. `For,' says Herbert to me, coming home to dinner on one of those special occasions, `I find the truth to be, Handel, that an opening won't come to one, but one must go to it - so I have been.'
If we had been less attached to one another, I think we must have hated one another regularly every morning. I detested the chambers beyond expression at that period of repentance, and could not endure the sight of the Avenger's livery: which had a more expensive and a less remunerative appearance then, than at any other time in the four-and-twenty hours. As we got more and more into debt breakfast became a hollower and hollower form, and, being on one occasion at breakfast-time threatened (by letter) with legal proceedings, `not unwholly unconnected,' as my local paper might put it, `with jewellery,' I went so far as to seize the Avenger by his blue collar and shake him off his feet - so that he was actually in the air, like a booted Cupid - for presuming to suppose that we wanted a roll.
At certain times - meaning at uncertain times, for they depended on our humour - I would say to Herbert, as if it were a remarkable discovery:
`My dear Herbert, we are getting on badly.'
`My dear Handel,' Herbert would say to me, in all sincerity, if you will believe me, those very words were on my lips, by a strange coincidence.'
`Then, Herbert,'I would respond, `let us look into out affairs.'
We always derived profound satisfaction from making an appointment for this purpose. I always thought this was business, this was the way to confront the thing, this was the way to take the foe by the throat. And I know Herbert thought so too.
We ordered something rather special for dinner, with a bottle of something similarly out of the common way, in order that our minds might be fortified for the occasion, and we might come well up to the mark. Dinner over, we produced a bundle of pens, a copious supply of ink, and a goodly show of writing and blotting paper. For, there was something very comfortable in having plenty of stationery.
I would then take a sheet of paper, and write across the top of it, in a neat hand, the heading, `Memorandum of Pip's debts;' with Barnard's Inn and the date very carefully added. Herbert would also take a sheet of paper, and write across it with similar formalities, `Memorandum of Herbert's debts.'
Each of us would then refer to a confused heap of papers at his side, which had been thrown into drawers, worn into holes in Pockets, half-burnt in lighting candles, stuck for weeks into the looking-glass, and otherwise damaged. The sound of our pens going, refreshed us exceedingly, insomuch that I sometimes found it difficult to distinguish between this edifying business proceeding and actually paying the money. In point of meritorious character, the two things seemed about equal.
When we had written a little while, I would ask Herbert how he got on? Herbert probably would have been scratching his head in a most rueful manner at the sight of his accumulating figures.
`They are mounting up, Handel,' Herbert would say; `upon my life, they are mounting up.'
`Be firm, Herbert,' I would retort, plying my own pen with great assiduity. `Look the thing in the face. Look into your affairs. Stare them out of countenance.'
`So I would, Handel, only they are staring me out of countenance.'
However, my determined manner would have its effect, and Herbert would fall to work again. After a time he would give up once more, on the plea that he had not got Cobbs's bill, or Lobbs's, or Nobbs's, as the case might be.
`Then, Herbert, estimate; estimate it in round numbers, and put it down.'
`What a fellow of resource you are!' my friend would reply, with admiration. `Really your business powers are very remarkable.'
I thought so too. I established with myself on these occasions, the reputation of a first-rate man of business - prompt, decisive, energetic, clear, cool-headed. When I had got all my responsibilities down upon my list, I compared each with the bill, and ticked it off. My self-approval when I ticked an entry was quite a luxurious sensation. When I had no more ticks to make, I folded all my bills up uniformly, docketed each on the back, and tied the whole into a symmetrical bundle. Then I did the same for Herbert (who modestly said he had not my administrative genius), and felt that I had brought his affairs into a focus for him.
My business habits had one other bright feature, which i called `leaving a Margin.' For example; supposing Herbert's debts to be one hundred and sixty-four pounds four-and-twopence, I would say, `Leave a margin, and put them down at two hundred.' Or, supposing my own to be four times as much, I would leave a margin, and put them down at seven hundred. I had the highest opinion of the wisdom of this same Margin, but I am bound to acknowledge that on looking back, I deem it to have been an expensive device. For, we always ran into new debt immediately, to the full extent of the margin, and sometimes, in the sense of freedom and solvency it imparted, got pretty far on into another margin.
But there was a calm, a rest, a virtuous hush, consequent on these examinations of our affairs that gave me, for the time, an admirable opinion of myself. Soothed by my exertions, my method, and Herbert's compliments, I would sit with his symmetrical bundle and my own on the table before me among the stationary, and feel like a Bank of some sort, rather than a private individual.
We shut our outer door on these solemn occasions, in order that we might not be interrupted. I had fallen into my serene state one evening, when we heard a letter dropped through the slit in the said door, and fall on the ground. `It's for you, Handel,' said Herbert, going out and coming back with it, `and I hope there is nothing the matter.' This was in allusion to its heavy black seal and border.
The letter was signed TRABB & CO., and its contents were simply, that I was an honoured sir, and that they begged to inform me that Mrs J. Gargery had departed this life on Monday last, at twenty minutes past six in the evening, and that my attendance was requested at the interment on Monday next at three o'clock in the afternoon.
 
我慢慢地习惯了继承遗产的事实，也于不知不觉之中开始注意遗产对我个人的影响，以及对我周围人们的影响。至于遗产对我个人性格上的影响，我总是竭尽全力假装不知道，其实心中却明白得很，这些影响并非都是好的。由于对乔的所做所为，我长期地心神不定，坐立不安，对于毕蒂，我也感到良心上有愧。有时我也像卡美拉一样，在夜里醒来，感到一种精神快要崩溃的疲倦，我想，要是我从来没有见过郝维仙小姐的面孔，一直伴随着乔，在光明磊落的老铁匠炉边，自满自足地长大成人，也许我会更加幸福，更加健康。多少个夜晚，我孤独地坐着，呆呆地望着壁炉，脑海里思忖着，此间哪有火比我那铁匠炉中的火及家中灶间里的火更好的呢？
我的坐立不安和心烦意乱与埃斯苔娜有着不可分割的联系，我自问进入如此心情混乱的状态，无疑有几分责任在于我自己。也就是说，如果没有遇到这笔遗产，却有对埃斯苔娜的相思，我也不会得到安心，也不见得比现在的情况好到哪里。至于我个人的地位现在对别人的影响，倒没有如此地难以面对。我能感知得出，虽然是很模糊的，我的地位对任何人都无利，尤其对于赫伯特是绝对无利的。我已经形成了用钱如泼水一样的性格，而他并没有钱花，我却把他领向了浪费；他单纯朴实的生活本质被我腐蚀，弄得他不得安宁，使他焦躁与悔恨交集。至于鄱凯特家族的其他亲属，他们的天性生来小里小气，我在无意识中对他们施加的影响，也使他们施展出各种穷技。其实，即使我不去触动他们昏沉的天性，任何人都能把他们的天性挑动起来。赫伯特和他们相比，是一个不同类型的人。我一想起我对他施加了坏的影响，不由得内心感到一阵隐痛。在他的几间房屋中塞满了不调和的家具，我还又雇了一名穿鲜黄背心的讨债鬼听他使唤。
因此，我贪图安逸享乐，由小乐而到大乐，这是必经之路，最后弄得一身债务。不管什么事我只要一开头，赫伯特便会跟上来，而且学我的样子还真够快的。斯塔特普曾建议我们申请成为一个叫做林中鸟类的俱乐部的成员。说实话，我真看不出这个学术团体有什么伟大目的，不过是让会员们每隔两个星期聚在一起大吃一顿，过后会员之间尽其本领争争吵吵，连六个端盘送菜的跑堂也吃得烂醉，全都倒在楼梯上。每一次集会都要弄到这个程度才算满意，才算大功告成。赫伯特和我所能了解的只是在好多次集会时祝酒词中的第一段话。这段话是：“诸位会员先生，愿我们林中鸟类俱乐部的成员们情谊常在，友谊长存。”
这些会员鸟儿们花起钱来可真疯狂（我们用餐的饭店就是沽文特花园饭店），我加入俱乐部后看到的第一只鸟居然是本特莱•德鲁莫尔。当时，他驾着他的自备马车狂奔乱跑，在街上干出不少破坏事件，撞倒了不少街角的灯杆子。有时，他竟然会从马车的车慢后头朝下地摔出来。有一次，我看到他把车赶到了树林口，突然如此毫无戒备地从车上像倒煤一样翻滚下来。这里我说得过早了点儿，其实那时我还不是只鸟呢，因为根据学会的神圣章程，不到成年是不能加入的。
我很自信，对自己的经济实力决不担心，很乐意担负赫伯特的一切开销；但是赫伯特颇有自尊心，我无法向他提出这项建议。所以，他每每陷入困境，也只有继续观望形势，等待良机。我们都逐渐养成一个习惯，都要相伴谈到夜深才入睡。我注意到他行为上的变化，在早餐时刻，他的眼睛总是沮丧不已；到了中午似乎有了一点希望；而在晚餐时，又表现出垂头丧气的神色，然后他仿佛在探视着远远的资本，特别是在饭后看得更加清楚；时到午夜，他好像沾沾自喜，似乎马上就能得到这笔资金；待到凌晨二时，他又一次感到失望得很，便说要买一支来福枪到美洲去，在驯猎野牛上大试身手，发家致富。
通常每周我有一半时间在汉莫史密斯，当我在汉莫史密斯时我就会去到雷溪梦去看埃斯苔娜，关于这事的详情现在暂搁起，以后再说。我一来到汉莫史密斯，赫伯特便会常来和我做伴。在这段时间内，他的父亲也偶尔会看出赫伯特还没有观望成功，机会也还没有到来，不过既然这一家的人都是被摔掼大的，那么赫伯特在他自己的生活中被摔来掼去，总是会有些结果的。这时鄱凯特先生又增添了些灰发，每每遇到困惑不解时把自己头发抓得想拎起来的次数也愈来愈多；而鄱凯特夫人，依旧在阅读那本贵族谱，依旧一张被裙子遮住的小脚凳绊得孩子们跌跌倒倒，依旧经常落下手帕，依旧和我们谈起她的祖父当年如何如何，以及她的那套教育孩子的方法；只要小宝宝一引起她的注意，她就把孩子扔到床上，扔孩子上床是她培养幼儿的良策。
现在我要概括一下我这一时期的生活情况，目的是为了把有些事情弄清楚，好继续叙述我的远大前程。我看最好的办法还是先把我们在巴纳德旅馆的通常行为及习惯和盘托出。
我们在花钱方面从不计算，有多少花多少，而我们从别人那里所得到的却要随他们的高兴，因而就很少很少。我们总是处在不幸之中，有时不幸得多些，有时不幸得少些。大部分我们认识的朋友的处境与此也不相上下。我们时常想人非非，自我宽慰，而骨子里却一点儿也不高兴，永远也不会高兴。我坚信，像我们这种情况是很普遍的。
每天清晨，赫伯特都怀着一种新鲜感去到城里观望形势。我时常也去看看他，他坐在一问黑暗的后屋中，和他做伴的是一瓶墨水、一只帽钉、一筐煤、一团线、一本年鉴、一张桌子、一张椅子和一把戒尺。除掉观望形势和等待机会外，我记不清他还干些什么。如果我们做事都能像赫伯特那样忠贞不二，我们就可以生活在具有高尚道德的理想国中了。我的这位可怜的朋友根本无事可做，但每天下午一定按时到罗意德商船协会去，这其实只是例行公事，看看他的老板，当然这是我的想法。在罗意德商船协会的名目下，他什么事也没有干出来，我发现他总是去了又回来。通常在感到形势非常严峻时，他必须去寻找一个机会，便在最繁忙的时刻去到证券交易所，在聚集的各种商业巨富之间进出，就好像在跳一种忧郁的土风舞一样。有一天，赫伯特在办了这一特别事务后回来吃晚饭，他对我说：“汉德尔，我发现了一个真理，机会不会掉到我们身上，我们必须去寻找机会，所以我去寻找机会。”
我和赫伯特如果不是如此地紧密无间，情投意合，我看我们每天早晨会定期地相互埋怨。在这种悔恨交加的时刻，我非常怨恨所住的这几间屋子，特别不能忍受讨债鬼的出现，穿着那件号衣。尤其在早上，一见那号衣就使我觉得自己花费昂贵，而得到的太少。早餐愈来愈少得可怜，而负债却越来越多，甚至于接到了恐吓信，不还债就要到法院去算账。万一我们那份乡下的小报纸得到此新闻，说不定会写出一条“这和珠宝案不无联系”的新闻。这时，讨债鬼竟敢拿出一只面包圈让我们当早餐，我便一把抓住他的蓝色衣领，狠命地摇动他，几乎把他摇得双脚腾空，那副样子就像一个穿长统靴的小爱神丘比特。
每隔一段时期，当然时期的长短是不一定的，而且要根据我们的心境而定，我就会像有了什么新发现一样，对赫伯特说：
“亲爱的赫伯特，我们的日子越来越不好过了。”
“亲爱的汉德尔，”赫伯特总是用那副诚恳的样子答道，“真是奇怪的巧合，你说的话已到了我的嘴边上了，你该相信我们是一致的。”
“那么，赫伯特，”我对他说道，“那么我们合计一下怎么办吧。”
我们一想到要合计一下，这一做法立刻使我们心情舒畅起来。我一直认为这才是办正经事的样子，办事就该面对现实，俗语说杀敌要刺在喉管上，办事要办在点子上。我知道赫伯特的想法和我一样。
这样一来我们又激动了，便叫来一顿不同平常的晚餐，又弄来一瓶同样不同平常的好酒，还自有理由，是为了完成我们的计划，好好干一场，以便重整旗鼓，振作精神。晚饭一过，我们便捧出一大把笔，备好充足的墨水，还有好多好多的写字纸和吸墨纸。因为，文房用具和材料越多，我们的心情也就越舒畅，越充实。
于是我拿出一张纸，在纸的上端清楚整齐地写上一个标题：《皮普债务备忘录》，并注明巴纳德旅馆，又非常仔细地加上日期。赫伯特也抽出一张纸，郑重其事地写上相似的标题人赫伯特债务备忘录》。
我们每一个人身边都有一堆乱七八糟的账单，有的塞在抽屉中，有的因为放在口袋中已磨出小洞，有的用来点蜡烛已烧去了半截，还有的丢在镜子背后几个星期了，被弄得破破烂烂。现在，写字时的沙沙声使我们精神焕发，甚至我有时发现，要区分这种精神启发式的还债和实际上的还债是十分困难的。这两种方式都自有价值，而且两者的价值又是相差无几的。
写了没有一会儿，我就问赫伯特情况怎么样。赫伯特一个劲儿地抓头皮，看着累计的欠债数字，那副懊恼悔恨的样子就不用说了。
“汉德尔，愈加愈没有完，”赫伯特说道，“我敢发誓，愈加愈没有完。
“冷静些，赫伯特。”我反驳他的话，仍是一丝不苟孜孜不倦地写下去，“迎接现实，弄清事情面目，坚持下去，不要慌张。”
“汉德尔，我是在冷静地坚持着，可是这些东西吓得我毛发倒竖。”
无论如何，我坚决的态度起了应有的作用，赫伯特也继续写了下去。过了一会儿，他又一次停下来，并找借口说柯柏公司的账单不见了，要么就是罗柏公司的账单丢了，或者诺柏公司的账单也找不到了。总之他借口不少，理由充分。
“赫伯特，我看你就估算一下。估算出一个大概的数字，把它先记下来。”
“你真是个才智过人的家伙！”我的朋友赞叹地答道，“看来你的处事能力真正是第一流的。”
我何尝不是这样想。在这些场合下，我总是以办事第一流的人自居，自认办起事来迅捷、果断、有力、明确、冷静。我把全部应还的债务列成清单，核对每一笔账款，并一笔一笔打上记号。我在核对登录的账目时，沾沾自喜，心情说不尽的愉快。所有账目核对完后，我把全部账单叠得一般大小，整整齐齐，在每一账单后面附上摘要，然后把它们有序地扎成一捆。然后，我又帮着赫伯特做好这一切，因为他一再谦虚地自认为不具备我的行政管理才干。这样，我才感到帮他把事情也弄出了一点头绪。
我的办事习惯还有另一个光辉的特点，我把它称为“留有余地”。比如说，赫伯特欠债的数字是一百六十四镑四先令二便士，于是我便给他来个留有余地，就算成总共二百镑。又比如，我自己的欠债账目相当于赫伯特的四倍，我也来个留有余地，把数目说成总共七百镑。在那时，我以为留有余地是一种了不起的伟大智慧思想，不过，今天回想起来，才感到留有余地这一种思考方法只会带来更大的危害。因为，我们的新债务会马上接踵而至，填满了旧债的那个留有余地；有时我们以为留有余地能使我们自由运转，觉得既然有偿还能力又何足惧，结果新债不断，不得已只能再来一次新的留有余地。
每逢了结了一次清理债务账单的工作，我们便感到无限的轻松、安逸和道德上的宁静。这时我就会暗自赞叹自己，自以为是个杰出人士。我的尽心尽力、完美的方法和赫伯特的恭维使我昏头转向。我坐在那里，看着面前桌上一叠赫伯特的整齐匀称的账单和另一叠我的整齐匀称的账单，和各种文具放在一起，感到与其说我是一个普通的个体，不如说是拥有了一所银行。
凡遇到这种严肃隆重场合，为了不至于被别人突然干扰，我们总是把外面的一扇门关好。一天晚上，事务处理完毕后，我正沉溺于安静的享受中，听到有投信的声音，只见一封信从门缝中塞了进来，掉在地板上。赫伯特说道：“汉德尔，是你的信。”于是他便走出去把信拿回来。因为这封信有一个黑框，还盖着黑火漆印，所以赫伯特说：“但愿不要有什么事发生。”
信上写着特拉布成衣公司的地址，内容很简单，我被尊称为阁下，然后写着乔•葛奇里夫人已于星期一晚六时二十分谢世，并定于下星期一下午三时安葬，特此通知，希望届时参加。
Chapter 35
IT was the first time that a grave had opened in my road of life, and the gap it made in the smooth ground was wonderful. The figure of my sister in her chair by the kitchen fire, haunted me night and day. That the place could possibly be, without her, was something my mind seemed unable to compass; and whereas she had seldom or never been in my thoughts of late, I had now the strangest ideas that she was coming towards me in the street, or that she would presently knock at the door. In my rooms too, with which she had never been at all associated, there was at once the blankness of death and a perpetual suggestion of the sound of her voice or the turn of her face or figure, as if she were still alive and had been often there. 
Whatever my fortunes might have been, I could scarcely have recalled my sister with much tenderness. But I suppose there is a shock of regret which may exist without much tenderness. Under its influence (and perhaps to make up for the want of the softer feeling) I was seized with a violent indignation against the assailant from whom she had suffered so much; and I felt that on sufficient proof I could have revengefully pursued Orlick, or any one else, to the last extremity.
Having written to Joe, to offer consolation, and to assure him that I should come to the funeral, I passed the intermediate days in the curious state of mind I have glanced at. I went down early in the morning, and alighted at the Blue Boar in good time to walk over to the forge.
It was fine summer weather again, and, as I walked along, the times when I was a little helpless creature, and my sister did not spare me, vividly returned. But they returned with a gentle tone upon them that softened even the edge of Tickler. For now, the very breath of the beans and clover whispered to my heart that the day must come when it would be well for my memory that others walking in the sunshine should be softened as they thought of me.
At last I came within sight of the house, and saw that Trabb and Co. had put in a funereal execution and taken possession. Two dismally absurd persons, each ostentatiously exhibiting a crutch done up in a black bandage - as if that instrument could possibly communicate any comfort to anybody - were posted at the front door; and in one of them I recognized a postboy discharged from the Boar for turning a young couple into a sawpit on their bridal morning, in consequence of intoxication rendering it necessary for him to ride his horse clasped round the neck with both arms. All the children of the village, and most of the women, were admiring these sable warders and the closed windows of the house and forge; and as I came up, one of the two warders (the postboy) knocked at the door - implying that I was far too much exhausted by grief, to have strength remaining to knock for myself.
Another sable warder (a carpenter, who had once eaten two geese for a wager) opened the door, and showed me into the best parlour. Here, Mr Trabb had taken unto himself the best table, and had got all the leaves up, and was holding a kind of black Bazaar, with the aid of a quantity of black pins. At the moment of my arrival, he had just finished putting somebody's hat into black long-clothes, like an African baby; so he held out his hand for mine. But I, misled by the action, and confused by the occasion, shook hands with him with every testimony of warm affection.
Poor dear Joe, entangled in a little black cloak tied in a large bow under his chin, was seated apart at the upper end of the room; where, as chief mourner, he had evidently been stationed by Trabb. When I bent down and said to him, `Dear Joe, how are you?' he said, `Pip, old chap, you knowed her when she were a fine figure of a--' and clasped my hand and said no more.
Biddy, looking very neat and modest in her black dress, went quietly here and there, and was very helpful. When I had spoken to Biddy, as I thought it not a time for talking I went and sat down near Joe, and there began to wonder in what part of the house it - she - my sister - was. The air of the parlour being faint with the smell of sweet cake, I looked about for the table of refreshments; it was scarcely visible until one had got accustomed to the gloom, but there was a cut-up plum-cake upon it, and there were cut-up oranges, and sandwiches, and biscuits, and two decanters that I knew very well as ornaments, but had never seen used in all my life; one full of port, and one of sherry. Standing at this table, I became conscious of the servile Pumblechook in a black cloak and several yards of hatband, who was alternately stuffing himself, and making obsequious movements to catch my attention. The moment he succeeded, he came over to me (breathing sherry and crumbs), and said in a subdued voice, `May I, dear sir?' and did. I then descried Mr and Mrs Hubble; the last-named in a decent speechless paroxysm in a corner. We were all going to `follow,' and were all in course of being tied up separately (by Trabb) into ridiculous bundles.
`Which I meantersay, Pip,' Joe whispered me, as we were being what Mr Trabb called `formed' in the parlour, two and two - and it was dreadfully like a preparation for some grim kind of dance; `which I meantersay, sir, as I would in preference have carried her to the church myself, along with three or four friendly ones wot come to it with willing harts and arms, but it were considered wot the neighbours would look down on such and would be of opinions as it were wanting in respect.'
`Pocket-handkerchiefs out, all!' cried Mr Trabb at this point, in a depressed business-like voice. `Pocket-handkerchiefs out! We are ready!'
So, we all put our pocket-handkerchiefs to our faces, as if our noses were bleeding, and filed out two and two; Joe and I; Biddy and Pumblechook; Mr and Mrs Hubble. The remains of my poor sister had been brought round by the kitchen door, and, it being a point of Undertaking ceremony that the six bearers must be stifled and blinded under a horrible black velvet housing with a white border, the whole looked like a blind monster with twelve human legs, shuffling and blundering along, under the guidance of two keepers - the postboy and his comrade.
The neighbourhood, however, highly approved of these arrangements, and we were much admired as we went through the village; the more youthful and vigorous part of the community making dashes now and then to cut us off, and lying in wait to intercept us at points of vantage. At such times the more exuberant among them called out in an excited manner on our emergence round some corner of expectancy, `Here they come!' `Here they are!' and we were all but cheered. In this progress I was much annoyed by the abject Pumblechook, who, being behind me, persisted all the way as a delicate attention in arranging my streaming hatband, and smoothing my cloak. My thoughts were further distracted by the excessive pride of Mr and Mrs Hubble, who were surpassingly conceited and vainglorious in being members of so distinguished a procession.
And now, the range of marshes lay clear before us, with the sails of the ships on the river growing out of it; and we went into the churchyard, close to the graves of my unknown parents, Philip Pirrip, late of this parish, and Also Georgiana, Wife of the Above. And there, my sister was laid quietly in the earth while the larks sang high above it, and the light wind strewed it with beautiful shadows of clouds and trees.
Of the conduct of the worldly-minded Pumblechook while this was doing, I desire to say no more than it was all addressed to me; and that even when those noble passages were read which remind humanity how it brought nothing into the world and can take nothing out, and how it fleeth like a shadow and never continueth long in one stay, I heard him cough a reservation of the case of a young gentleman who came unexpectedly into large property. When we got back, he had the hardihood to tell me that he wished my sister could have known I had done her so much honour, and to hint that she would have considered it reasonably purchased at the price of her death. After that, he drank all the rest of the sherry, and Mr Hubble drank the port, and the two talked (which I have since observed to be customary in such cases) as if they were of quite another race from the deceased, and were notoriously immortal. Finally, he went away with Mr and Mrs Hubble - to make an evening of it, I felt sure, and to tell the Jolly Bargemen that he was the founder of my fortunes and my earliest benefactor.
When they were all gone, and when Trabb and his men - but not his boy: I looked for him - had crammed their mummery into bags, and were gone too, the house felt wholesomer. Soon afterwards, Biddy, Joe, and I, had a cold dinner together; but we dined in the best parlour, not in the old kitchen, and Joe was so exceedingly particular what he did with his knife and fork and the saltcellar and what not, that there was great restraint upon us. But after dinner, when I made him take his pipe, and when I had loitered with him about the forge, and when we sat down together on the great block of stone outside it, we got on better. I noticed that after the funeral Joe changed his clothes so far, as to make a compromise between his Sunday dress and working dress: in which the dear fellow looked natural, and like the Man he was.
He was very much pleased by my asking if I might sleep in my own little room, and I was pleased too; for, I felt that I had done rather a great thing in making the request. When the shadows of evening were closing in, I took an opportunity of getting into the garden with Biddy for a little talk.
`Biddy,' said I, `I think you might have written to me about these sad matters.'
`Do you, Mr Pip?' said Biddy. `I should have written if I had thought that.'
`Don't suppose that I mean to be unkind, Biddy, when I say I consider that you ought to have thought that.'
`Do you, Mr Pip?'
She was so quiet, and had such an orderly, good, and pretty way with her, that I did not like the thought of making her cry again. After looking a little at her downcast eyes as she walked beside me, I gave up that point.
`I suppose it will be difficult for you to remain here now, Biddy dear?'
`Oh! I can't do so, Mr Pip,' said Biddy, in a tone of regret, but still of quiet conviction. `I have been speaking to Mrs Hubble, and I am going to her to-morrow. I hope we shall be able to take some care of Mr Gargery, together, until he settles down.'
`How are you going to live, Biddy? If you want any mo--'
`How am I going to live?' repeated Biddy, striking in, with a momentary flush upon her face. `I'll tell you, Mr Pip. I am going to try to get the place of mistress in the new school nearly finished here. I can be well recommended by all the neighbours, and I hope I can be industrious and patient, and teach myself while I teach others. You know, Mr Pip,' pursued Biddy, with a smile, as she raised her eyes to my face, `the new schools are not like the old, but I learnt a good deal from you after that time, and have had time since then to improve.'
`I think you would always improve, Biddy, under any circumstances.'
`Ah! Except in my bad side of human nature,' murmured Biddy.
It was not so much a reproach, as an irresistible thinking aloud. Well! I thought I would give up that point too. So, I walked a little further with Biddy, looking silently at her downcast eyes.
`I have not heard the particulars of my sister's death, Biddy.'
`They are very slight, poor thing. She had been in one of her bad states - though they had got better of late, rather than worse - for four days, when she came out of it in the evening, just at teatime, and said quite plainly, "Joe." As she had never said any word for a long while, I ran and fetched in Mr Gargery from the forge. She made signs to me that she wanted him to sit down close to her, and wanted me to put her arms round his neck. So I put them round his neck, and she laid her head down on his shoulder quite content and satisfied. And so she presently said "Joe" again, and once "Pardon," and once "Pip." And so she never lifted her head up any more, and it was just an hour later when we laid it down on her own bed, because we found she was gone.'
Biddy cried; the darkening garden, and the lane, and the stars that were coming out, were blurred in my own sight.
`Nothing was ever discovered, Biddy?'
`Nothing.'
`Do you know what is become of Orlick?'
`I should think from the colour of his clothes that he is working in the quarries.'
`Of course you have seen him then? - Why are you looking at that dark tree in the lane?'
`I saw him there, on the night she died.'
`That was not the last time either, Biddy?'
`No; I have seen him there, since we have been walking here. - It is of no use,' said Biddy, laying her hand upon my arm, as I was for running out, `you know I would not deceive you; he was not there a minute, and he is gone.'
It revived my utmost indignation to find that she was still pursued by this fellow, and I felt inveterate against him. I told her so, and told her that I would spend any money or take any pains to drive him out of that country. By degrees she led me into more temperate talk, and she told me how Joe loved me, and how Joe never complained of anything - she didn't say, of me; she had no need; I knew what she meant - but ever did his duty in his way of life, with a strong hand, quiet tonguè, and a gentle heart.
`Indeed, it would be hard to say too much for him,' said I; `and Biddy, we must often speak of these things, for of course I shall be often down here now. I am not going to leave poor Joe alone.'
Biddy said never a single word.
`Biddy, don't you hear me?'
`Yes, Mr Pip.'
`Not to mention your calling me Mr Pip - which appears to me to be in bad taste, Biddy - what do you mean?'
`What do I mean?' asked Biddy, timidly.
`Biddy,' said I, in a virtuously self-asserting manner, `I must request to know what you mean by this?'
`By this?' said Biddy.
`Now, don't echo,' I retorted. `You used not to echo, Biddy.'
`Used not!' said Biddy. `O Mr Pip! Used!'
Well! I rather thought I would give up that point too. After another silent turn in the garden, I fell back on the main position.
`Biddy,' said I, `I made a remark respecting my coming down here often, to see Joe, which you received with a marked silence. Have the goodness, Biddy, to tell me why.'
`Are you quite sure, then, that you WILL come to see him often?' asked Biddy, stopping in the narrow garden walk, and looking at me under the stars with a clear and honest eye.
`Oh dear me!' said I, as if I found myself compelled to give up Biddy in despair. `This really is a very bad side of human nature!Don't say any more, if you please, Biddy. This shocks me very much.'
For which cogent reason I kept Biddy at a distance during supper, and, when I went up to my own old little room, took as stately a leave of her as I could, in my murmuring soul, deem reconcilable with the churchyard and the event of the day. As often as I was restless in the night, and that was every quarter of an hour, I reflected what an unkindness, what an injury, what an injustice, Biddy had done me.
Early in the morning, I was to go. Early in the morning, I was out, and looking in, unseen, at one of the wooden windows of the forge. There I stood, for minutes, looking at Joe, already at work with a glow of health and strength upon his face that made it show as if the bright sun of the life in store for him were shining on it.
`Good-bye, dear Joe! - No, don't wipe it off - for God's sake, give me your blackened hand! - I shall be down soon, and often.'
`Never too soon, sir,' said Joe, `and never too often, Pip!'
Biddy was waiting for me at the kitchen door, with a mug of new milk and a crust of bread. `Biddy,' said I, when I gave her my hand at parting, `I am not angry, but I am hurt.'
`No, don't be hurt,' she pleaded quite pathetically; `let only me be hurt, if I have been ungenerous.'
Once more, the mists were rising as I walked away. If they disclosed to me, as I suspect they did, that I should not come back, and that Biddy was quite right, all I can say is - they were quite right too.
 
这是我在人生的道路上第一次遇到掘墓这种事，这在平平坦坦的大地上掘开的一个坟墓使我感到惊奇不解。那老屋灶间圈椅上我姐姐的形象日日夜夜在我脑际间旋转。老屋灶间怎么可能没有她，对于这件事在我的心中几乎无法想象。尽管这段时间以来她很少或者根本没有进入过我的思想，而现在我却出现了奇怪的念头，好像她在街上正向着我走来，或者她一会儿就会来敲我的房门。虽然她从来没有走进过我的屋子，可是在我的房间中好像立刻笼罩了一片死亡的茫然感，而且总是响起她的声音，出现她的音容笑貌，仿佛她依然活在人间，时常来我这儿照看我。
不管我的命运如何，我总是无法用姐弟的柔情来回忆起她；可是，虽然我们之间没有深刻的姐弟柔情，但她的离去仍然令我震惊。这也使我想起那个伤害我姐姐，使她忍受痛苦的凶手，也许对他表示狂暴的愤怒，可以作为对缺乏的柔情的一个弥补吧。我想，如果早就有充足的证据证明凶手就是奥立克或其他什么人，我也早就报仇雪恨，和他拼个你死我活了。
我先写了一封信给乔，表明我内心的哀痛，并告诉他届时我一定前去送殡。然后，我怀着极其奇怪的心情度过了这难以熬过的几天。出发的那一天，一大早我便登上马车，在蓝野猪饭店下车，由于时间充裕，我便向铁匠铺步行而去。
这是一个晴朗美好的夏季，我向前走去，小时候凄苦无助时，我姐姐对我凶狠霸道的情景又栩栩如生地涌上了心头。不过，这些往事，如今回忆起来，别有一番柔情，那根痛打我的呵痒棍似乎也变得软弱无力了。我走在田野上，那大豆和悉悉索索的声音，好像在我心头低语，那一天总会来到，也许会有人也踩着晴朗美好的夏季田野去为我送葬，他们想到我的为人，但愿心肠也能从恨向爱软化下来。
终于路途走完，老屋又出现在眼前，只见特拉布成衣公司正在料理出殡事宜。两位神情悲伤、形象怪异的人守在大门口，各人手执一根哭丧棍，上面都裹着黑纱，好像能使奔丧的人心情宽慰，节哀顺变。其中有一个人我一眼便认了出来，是蓝野猪饭店开除掉的马车夫。因为有一次一对新婚夫妻早晨行过婚礼乘他的马车，结果他却吃得醉醺醺的，驾驶马车时感到不稳，便用两条手臂抱住马脖子，结果把这对新婚夫妇摔进了锯木坑里，所以受到了解雇的惩罚。村中所有的孩子们和大部分妇女们都对这两个穿孝的守门人和老屋及铁匠铺紧闭的门窗感到兴趣，赞叹不绝。等我走到门口时，两位守门人中的那位马车夫就为我敲门，这表示我因为过分的哀伤而无力自己敲门，所以让他们来代劳。
另一位穿丧服的守门人本来是个木匠，据说他曾和别人打赌，一气能吃进两只鹅。他开了门，把我引进那间最好的会客室。特拉布先生正在那张最好的桌子旁边忙着，桌子的活动板都给装上了，而且被布置得像一个黑色丧服摊一样，铺上黑布，还用了大量的黑别针。在我进来的时候，他刚刚给一个人的帽子上缠好黑布，缠得活像一个非洲婴儿。他一看到我便把手伸了过来，接我的帽子。我弄错了他的这一动作，况且在这个场面上我尴尬得不知所措，于是竞非常热烈亲切地和他握起手来。
可怜的亲爱的乔，身上披着一件小小的黑斗篷，下巴下面扎了一朵大的黑蝴蝶结，正孤苦一人坐在房间的上首。这个最主要的伤心人的席位无疑是由特拉布指定的。于是，我俯下身来对他说：“亲爱的乔，你好吗？”他答道：“皮普，我的老弟，你晓得她的，她本来是个挺漂亮的——”说到这里他抓住我的手，便再也说不下去了。
毕蒂穿了件黑色丧服，看上去十分整洁贤静，一忽儿这里忙，一忽儿那里忙，是个很得力的帮手。我和她打了招呼，觉得当前不是讲话的时刻，于是便走到乔那里，坐在他的旁边。我诧异地用眼睛搜索着它——我姐姐的遗体究竟放在这屋子的哪里。会客室中散发出一种淡淡的甜饼气息，我四面张望想找出放着糕饼的桌子。因为屋里光线很暗，我等到眼睛适应暗淡的光线后才看到，在桌子上面有一块切开的葡萄干蛋糕，旁边有几只切开的橙子、几只三明治和一些饼干，还放了两只有玻璃塞子的圆酒瓶——我过去知道这只是装饰品，从来没有看见用过，而今天，一瓶装了葡萄酒，另一瓶盛了雪莉酒。我站在桌子旁边，定了定神，才发现那个卑躬屈膝、奴隶性十足的彭波契克，穿了一件黑斗篷，上面的黑帽带飘下好几码长，一会儿塞点什么到嘴巴里，一会儿又对我做些奉承的动作，以引起我的注意。接着，他向我走过来，满嘴喷出酒气和饼屑味，用一种低低的声音对我说：“亲爱的先生，我能否——？”然后便和我握手。接着，我又看见了胡卜先生和夫人。这时，胡卜夫人正在一个角落里悲切得泣不成声，做得倒很得体。我们这些人都要跟在灵枢后面相送，所以特拉布要一个一个地给我们穿黑戴孝，进行滑稽可笑的包装。
特拉布先生要我们在会客室里排好队，每两个人一排，非常像准备去跳一场悲伤的死亡舞。这时乔低声地对我说：“皮普，我原先的意思是，先生，我原先打算由我一个人把她送到乡村教堂的公墓去，只要三四个素有交往的人帮帮忙就可以，但是邻居们议论纷纷，说我如此地敷衍了事，对死者不尊敬，邻居们会轻视我的。”
“全体拿出手帕！”特拉布先生这时有条不紊地用沉重的低音说道，“大家拿出手帕！我们准备出发！”
我们都掏出手帕捂在脸上，就好像我们的鼻子都在流血；我们都是两个两个一排，乔和我一排，毕蒂和彭波契克一排，胡卜先生和夫人一排。我可怜姐姐的遗体已经由厨房的那个门抬了出去，根据传统的殡葬礼仪，棺木由六个扛夫抬着，他们必须罩在一块很大的黑天鹅绒绣白边的棺布下面，看上去就像一个长了十二条人腿的怪物，在由那位马夫和他的搭档组成的领葬人的导引下拖着脚步向前慢慢移动，跌跌冲冲，乱走乱撞。
邻居们对我们送葬队伍的安排倍加赞许，我们经过村庄时，他们更是赞不绝口；这一带年轻结实的小伙子时而这里，时而那里地乱冲乱撞，挡住我们的去路，或是抢占有利的地形等在那儿观看送葬队伍的经过。他们当中有些精力旺盛的人看到我们从他们等候的拐角出现时，便大为激动地高声叫喊：“他们向这里来了！”“他们来到这里了！”就差对我们欢呼了。在行列中，那个卑鄙下贱的彭波契克太使我厌烦了。他跟在我后面，一路上都想引起我的注意，一下子替我把帽子上的飘带整理一下，一会儿又把我的外衣抹抹平。另外胡卜先生和胡卜夫人也弄得我心烦意乱，他们的得意忘形和自负都到了不可言说的地步，参加如此轰轰烈烈的送葬队伍就觉得自己了不起了。
不久，一片沼泽地便清楚地出现在我们眼前，远处河上的船帆也清晰可见。我们的行列进入了乡村教堂的墓地，棺木停在我从未见过面的双亲的墓旁，墓上面写着本教区已故居民菲利普•皮里普及上述者之妻乔其雅娜之墓的字样。就在这儿，我的姐姐迅速地被安葬进墓穴，这时百灵鸟正在空中鸣唱不已，柔风徐来，点缀着云朵和树木的美丽阴影。
至于那位汲汲于名利的庸俗人物彭波契克的行为，我不打算过多叙述，只消说一句“他的言行全都是为了我”即可概括。正当牧师在诵读那几段高尚的祷文，提醒人们，“人生在世，无所带来，亦无所带去，逝去如影，不能长留”之时，我听到了彭波契克大声咳嗽，好像在说人间之事也有例外，就如这位年轻先生吧，就意想不到地得到一大笔财产。我们在葬礼完毕后回到家中，他竟然大言不惭地对我说，要是我姐姐活着能懂得我为她挣来多大的光荣，那有多好。他好像暗示要是我姐姐知道我为她挣来的光荣，她死也瞑目了。然后，他喝完了剩下来的全部雪莉酒，胡卜先生饮尽了其余的葡萄酒。他们一边饮酒，一边谈论，后来我才知道这本来是葬礼日的传统习俗。他们谈话的腔调就好像他们和死者截然不同，是另一个种族，是声名狼藉的老而不死之人。最后，他和胡卜先生及夫人终于离此而去。可以肯定，他是去了三个快乐的船夫酒店，在那几度过一晚，饮酒论自己，扮成我幸运的奠基人和早年的恩人。
他们走了以后，接着是特拉布一班人马（不过没有看到他的小伙计，我四处找也没有发现），收拾好那一套后台道具塞进袋子，也离开了这里，这座屋子才显得清淡舒适起来。一会儿后，毕蒂、乔和我一起吃了一顿冷冷清清的晚餐。我们在最好的那间会客室中晚餐，再不是在灶间里的老地方了。乔在用餐具时当心万分，不管是刀是叉是盐瓶还是什么都特别留神，这也不得不使我们都受到拘束。晚餐后我提醒乔燃起他的烟斗，然后陪他在铁匠铺四周散了一会儿步，回来坐在屋外的一块大石头上，这时我们的心情才得到缓解。我发现在送葬之后乔换了衣服，既不是做礼拜时穿的礼服，也不是打铁时的工作服，这样我的老伙计亲爱的乔自然得多了，回到了人的本来面目。
我问他我今晚是不是可以睡在我过去住的那间小屋中，他听了十分高兴。自然我也十分高兴，因为我能提出这一个要求就是一项非常了不起的事。
夜幕降临之际，我找了一个机会，和毕蒂一起到那座花园，做了一次简短的谈话。
“毕蒂，”我说道，“我想你早该写信告诉我发生的悲伤事情。”
“皮普先生，你这样想的吗？”毕蒂说道，“我要早想到这点，我也就一定早写信告诉你了。”
“毕蒂，我说我以为你该早想到这点，这里并没有什么不好的意思。”
“皮普先生，真这样吗？”
她贤淑文静，做事有板有眼，处处显出善良和可爱，我再不想找出什么话题使她大哭一场了。这时，她正和我并排而行，我望了一下她那颓丧的双眼，于是打消了继续说这个话题的念头。
“毕蒂，亲爱的，看来再在这儿待下去你有点困难了，是吗？”
“噢，皮普先生，我不能待在这儿了，”毕蒂带着抱歉的口吻说道，不过十分自信，“我已经和胡卜夫人说妥了，明天我就到她家中去。我希望我们两人一起还能对葛奇里先生有所照顾，让他能够安顿下来。”
“毕蒂，你今后打算怎么过呢？假使你手头缺——”
“我今后打算怎么过？”毕蒂重复了这句话，接着忽然脸上浮起一朵红云，并打断我的话说道，“那我告诉你，皮普先生，这里有一座新学校就要完工了，我争取到那里去谋求个教师的职业。所有的邻居都会尽力推荐我，我想我能勤劳耐心地在学校园地里耕耘，在教孩子的时候也可以学到许多东西。”她抬起眼睛望了我一下，微笑着继续说道：“新学校可不比老学校，内容也多了，幸而自从来到这里后从你那儿学到许多东西，而且自那以后我仍然在不断地上进。”
“毕蒂，在任何情况下，我想，你都在永远上进的。”
“噢！可是我有性格上的弱点。”毕蒂喃喃地说道。
她这句话不在于责备自己，而是用语言大声讲出了压在心头的思想。好吧！我想这个话题也不必再谈下去。我和毕蒂又向前走了一会儿，我继续默默地望着她那颓丧的双眼。
“毕蒂，我很想知道关于我姐姐去世的详细情况。”
“关于这位可怜的人也没有很多可说。近来，她的病体与其说恶化，不如说还有好转。不过，最后一次发病，她连续四天昏迷不醒，在一个黄昏时却突然苏醒过来，吃茶点时还清楚地叫了声‘乔’。因为她不能说话已经很久了，于是我连忙跑去把葛奇里先生从铁匠间中找来。她对我打手势说她要他坐得靠近她，又要我把她的两条臂膀扶着抱住乔的脖子，所以，我就扶起她的臂膀抱住乔的脖子。她把头搁在乔的肩头上，并感到满意和满足。过了一会儿，她又说了声‘乔’，接着又说‘请原谅’，又说‘皮普’。之后，她再没有把头抬起来。一个小时过后，我们发现她已经离世，便把她放在了床上。”
毕蒂说着哭了起来，于是幽黑的花园、园中的小径，以及刚刚浮现出来的星星，都在我的泪眼之前变得模糊一片。
“难道还没有一点线索吗？毕蒂。”
“还没有。”
“你知道奥立克现在怎样了？”
“从他衣服的颜色来看，我想他在采石坑中工作。”
“那么你当然是见到过他了？为什么你总是望着巷子中黑幽幽的树？”
“在她去世的那天晚上，奥立克就站在那里。”
“毕蒂，那也许不是你最后一次见到他吧？”
“不是。我们在这里散步的时候，我还见到他一直在那儿呢。”我听了她说的话便想跑过去，而毕蒂用手抓住我的手臂。“那也无用。你知道我不会骗你，他刚走一会儿，不再在那儿了。’”
这一来又使我胸中燃起无名之火，因为这个家伙至今仍然追着她，使我对他的仇恨更加深了。于是我告诉她不管花多少钱，不管费多大力气，我也要把他从这个乡下赶走。她劝慰我，慢慢地使我心平气和下来。她告诉我，乔是如何地爱护我，以及乔对我从来没有半句怨言（虽然这后一句她没有说出来，当然她也没有必要说，我明白她的心意），还说乔烙守自己的生活方式，手艺好，沉默少语，心地善良。
“真的，他的好处多得说不完。”我说道，“毕蒂，我们该时常谈到这些事情，自然，我以后会时常回来走动，我不能把可怜的乔丢在这里而不闻不问。”
毕蒂一句话也没有说。
“毕蒂，你听见我说的话吗？”
“听到了，皮普先生。”
“故且不提你叫我皮普先生，我听起来很不好受，毕蒂，这样，究竟什么意思？”
“我究竟什么意思？”毕蒂胆怯地反问道。
“毕蒂，”我任性地说道，“我一定要问个清楚，你这样究竟是什么意思？”
“什么这样？”毕蒂问道。
“用不着鹦鹉学舌，”我反驳道，“毕蒂，你过去也没有鹦鹉学舌的毛病。”
“过去没有！”毕蒂说道，“哦，皮普先生！过去的事还提什么！”
好吧，我想这个话题又不得不放弃了。我们在花园中又沉默地走了一圈，我又回到谈话的主题上去。
“毕蒂，”我说道，“我刚才提到我会时常回到这里看望乔，可是对此你一言不发。毕蒂，我看你发个慈悲，讲个明白，究竟为什么。”
“你说你会时常看他，那么你能肯定吗？”毕蒂停在花园的狭窄小径上，在星光下，用她清亮而又诚恳的眼光望着我问道。
“哦，天啦！”我发现我只有失望了，也只有放弃和毕蒂讨论这个问题了，于是说道，“这真正是人性的弱点！毕蒂，不用再说下去了。这对我可震惊不小。”
在晚餐时我以我那个令人信服的理由而和毕蒂疏远起来，后来我回到自己的那间小阁楼时也就堂而皇之地和她告别了。我在心中思忖着，我之所以这样是因为白天送葬到乡村教堂墓地而造成的。整个夜间我难以成眠，一个小时中会惊醒四次，每次都会想到毕蒂对我的行为是多么无情无义、残酷伤人、冤屈不公。
第二天一早我必得离开，所以次日清晨就起身出门，偷偷摸摸地不让别人看见，走到铁匠间的木窗口向里观望。我在那儿站了好几分钟，看到乔已经开始工作，脸上发出健康壮实的红光，仿佛生命的旭日就在他的面前，映照着他的面庞。
“亲爱的乔，再见！你不必擦手，为了上帝，把你的那只黑手递给我！我会很快回来看你，我会时常回来看你的。”
“先生，你可得快来，”乔说道，“皮普，你可得时常来！”
毕蒂正站在灶间门口等着我，手中拿着一杯鲜牛奶和一块面包皮。我把手伸给她，向她告别，说道：“毕蒂，我一点也不生气，只是有些痛苦。
“不，不要痛苦，”她感人楚楚地恳求道，“如果我胸襟狭小，就把痛苦留给我吧。”
我跨步走出，天上雾气又在消散着。我想，雾气向我揭示了一件事实，我也许再不会回来，毕蒂的预言绝顶正确，那么我所能说的只是一句话：雾的揭示也是绝顶正确的。
Chapter 36
HERBERT and I went on from bad to worse, in the way of increasing our debts, looking into our affairs, leaving Margins, and the like exemplary transactions; and Time went on, whether or no, as he has a way of doing; and I came of age - in fulfilment of Herbert's prediction, that I should do so before I knew where I was. 
Herbert himself had come of age, eight months before me. As he had nothing else than his majority to come into, the event did not make a profound sensation in Barnard's Inn. But we had looked forward to my one-and-twentieth birthday, with a crowd of speculations and anticipations, for we had both considered that my guardian could hardly help saying something definite on that occasion.
I had taken care to have it well understood in Little Britain, when my birthday was. On the day before it, I received an official note from Wemmick, informing me that Mr Jaggers would be glad if I would call upon him at five in the afternoon of the auspicious day. This convinced us that something great was to happen, and threw me into an unusual flutter when I repaired to my guardian's office, a model of punctuality.
In the outer office Wemmick offered me his congratulations, and incidentally rubbed the side of his nose with a folded piece of tissuepaper that I liked the look of. But he said nothing respecting it, and motioned me with a nod into my guardian's room. It was November, and my guardian was standing before his fire leaning his back against the chimney-piece, with his hands under his coattails.
`Well, Pip,' said he, `I must call you Mr Pip to-day. Congratulations, Mr Pip.'
We shook hands - he was always a remarkably short shaker - and I thanked him.
`Take a chair, Mr Pip,' said my guardian.
As I sat down, and he preserved his attitude and bent his brows at his boots, I felt at a disadvantage, which reminded me of that old time when I had been put upon a tombstone. The two ghastly casts on the shelf were not far from him, and their expression was as if they were making a stupid apoplectic attempt to attend to the conversation.
`Now my young friend,' my guardian began, as if I were a witness in the box, `I am going to have a word or two with you.'
`If you please, sir.'
`What do you suppose,' said Mr Jaggers, bending forward to look at the ground, and then throwing his head back to look at the ceiling, `what do you suppose you are living at the rate of?'
`At the rate of, sir?'
`At,' repeated Mr Jaggers, still looking at the ceiling, `the - rate - of?' And then looked all round the room, and paused with his pocket-handkerchief in his hand, half way to his nose.
I had looked into my affairs so often, that I had thoroughly destroyed any slight notion I might ever have had of their bearings. Reluctantly, I confessed myself quite unable to answer the question. This reply seemed agreeable to Mr Jaggers, who said, `I thought so!' and blew his nose with an air of satisfaction.
`Now, I have asked you a question, my friend,' said Mr Jaggers. `Have you anything to ask me?'
`Of course it would be a great relief to me to ask you several questions, sir; but I remember your prohibition.'
`Ask one,' said Mr Jaggers.
`Is my benefactor to be made known to me to-day?'
`No. Ask another.'
`Is that confidence to be imparted to me soon?'
`Waive that, a moment,' said Mr Jaggers, `and ask another.'
I looked about me, but there appeared to be now no possible escape from the inquiry, `Have - I - anything to receive, sir?' On that, Mr Jaggers said, triumphantly, `I thought we should come to it!' and called to Wemmick to give him that piece of paper. Wemmick appeared, handed it in, and disappeared.
`Now, Mr Pip,' said Mr Jaggers, `attend, if you please. You have been drawing pretty freely here; your name occurs pretty often in Wemmick's cash-book; but you are in debt, of course?'
`I am afraid I must say yes, sir.'
`You know you must say yes; don't you?' said Mr Jaggers.
`Yes, sir.'
`I don't ask you what you owe, because you don't know; and if you did know, you wouldn't tell me; you would say less. Yes, yes, my friend,' cried Mr Jaggers, waving his forefinger to stop me, as I made a show of protesting: `it's likely enough that you think you wouldn't, but you would. You'll excuse me, but I know better than you. Now, take this piece of paper in your hand. You have got it? Very good. Now, unfold it and tell me what it is.'
`This is a bank-note,' said I, `for five hundred pounds.'
`That is a bank-note,' repeated Mr Jaggers, `for five hundred pounds. And a very handsome sum of money too, I think. You consider it so?'
`How could I do otherwise!'
`Ah! But answer the question,' said Mr Jaggers.
`Undoubtedly.'
`You consider it, undoubtedly, a handsome sum of money. Now, that handsome sum of money, Pip, is your own. It is a present to you on this day, in earnest of your expectations. And at the rate of that handsome sum of money per annum, and at no higher rate, you are to live until the donor of the whole appears. That is to say, you will now take your money affairs entirely into your own hands, and you will draw from Wemmick one hundred and twenty-five pounds per quarter, until you are in communication with the fountain-head, and no longer with the mere agent. As I have told you before, I am the mere agent. I execute my instructions, and I am paid for doing so. I think them injudicious, but I am not paid for giving any opinion on their merits.'
I was beginning to express my gratitude to my benefactor for the great liberality with which I was treated, when Mr Jaggers stopped me. `I am not paid, Pip,' said he, coolly, `to carry your words to any one;' and then gathered up his coat-tails, as he had gathered up the subject, and stood frowning at his boots as if he suspected them of designs against him.
After a pause, I hinted:
`There was a question just now, Mr Jaggers, which you desired me to waive for a moment. I hope I am doing nothing wrong in asking it again?'
`What is it?' said he.
I might have known that he would never help me out; but it took me aback to have to shape the question afresh, as if it were quite new. `Is it likely,' I said, after hesitating, `that my patron, the fountain-head you have spoken of, Mr Jaggers, will soon--' there I delicately stopped.
`Will soon what?' asked Mr Jaggers. `That's no question as it stands, you know.'
`Will soon come to London,' said I, after casting about for a precise form of words, `or summon me anywhere else?'
`Now here,' replied Mr Jaggers, fixing me for the first time with his dark deep-set eyes, `we must revert to the evening when we first encountered one another in your village. What did I tell you then, Pip?'
`You told me, Mr Jaggers, that it might be years hence when that person appeared.'
`Just so,' said Mr Jaggers; `that's my answer.'
As we looked full at one another, I felt my breath come quicker in my strong desire to get something out of him. And as I felt that it came quicker, and as I felt that he saw that it came quicker, I felt that I had less chance than ever of getting anything out of him.
`Do you suppose it will still be years hence, Mr Jaggers?'
Mr Jaggers shook his head - not in negativing the question, but in altogether negativing the notion that he could anyhow be got to answer it - and the two horrible casts of the twitched faces looked, when my eyes strayed up to them, as if they had come to a crisis in their suspended attention, and were going to sneeze.
`Come!' said Mr Jaggers, warming the backs of his legs with the backs of his warmed hands, `I'll be plain with you, my friend Pip. That's a question I must not be asked. You'll understand that, better, when I tell you it's a question that might compromise me. Come! I'll go a little further with you; I'll say something more.'
He bent down so low to frown at his boots, that he was able to rub the calves of his legs in the pause he made.
`When that person discloses,' said Mr Jaggers, straightening himself, `you and that person will settle your own affairs. When that person discloses, my part in this business will cease and determine. When that person discloses, it will not be necessary for me to know anything about it. And that's all I have got to say.'
We looked at one another until I withdrew my eyes, and looked thoughtfully at the floor. From this last speech I derived the notion that Miss Havisham, for some reason or no reason, had not taken him into her confidence as to her designing me for Estella; that he resented this, and felt a jealousy about it; or that he really did object to that scheme, and would have nothing to do with it. When I raised my eyes again, I found that he had been shrewdly looking at me all the time, and was doing so still.
`If that is all you have to say, sir,' I remarked, `there can be nothing left for me to say.'
He nodded assent, and pulled out his thief-dreaded watch, and asked me where I was going to dine? I replied at my own chambers, with Herbert. As a necessary sequence, I asked him if he would favour us with his company, and he promptly accepted the invitation. But he insisted on walking home with me, in order that I might make no extra preparation for him, and first he had a letter or two to write, and (of course) had his hands to wash. So, I said I would go into the outer office and talk to Wemmick.
The fact was, that when the five hundred pounds had come into my pocket, a thought had come into my head which had been often there before; and it appeared to me that Wemmick was a good person to advise with, concerning such thought.
He had already locked up his safe, and made preparations for going home. He had left his desk, brought out his two greasy office candlesticks and stood them in line with the snuffers on a slab near the door, ready to be extinguished; he had raked his fire low, put his hat and great-coat ready, and was beating himself all over the chest with his safe-key, as an athletic exercise after business.
`Mr Wemmick,' said I, `I want to ask your opinion. I am very desirous to serve a friend.'
Wemmick tightened his post-office and shook his head, as if his opinion were dead against any fatal weakness of that sort.
`This friend,' I pursued, `is trying to get on in commercial life, but has no money, and finds it difficult and disheartening to make a beginning. Now, I want somehow to help him to a beginning.'
`With money down?' said Wemmick, in a tone drier than any sawdust.
`With some money down,' I replied, for an uneasy remembrance shot across me of that symmetrical bundle of papers at home; `with some money down, and perhaps some anticipation of my expectations.'
`Mr Pip,' said Wemmick, `I should like just to run over with you on my fingers, if you please, the names of the various bridges up as high as Chelsea Reach. Let's see; there's London, one; Southwark, two; Blackfriars, three; Waterloo, four; Westminster, five; Vauxhall, six.' He had checked off each bridge in its turn, with the handle of his safe-key on the palm of his hand. `There's as many as six, you see, to choose from.'
`I don't understand you,' said I.
`Choose your bridge, Mr Pip,' returned Wemmick, `and take a walk upon your bridge, and pitch your money into the Thames over the centre arch of your bridge, and you know the end of it. Serve a friend with it, and you may know the end of it too - but it's a less pleasant and profitable end.'
I could have posted a newspaper in his mouth, he made it so wide after saying this.
`This is very discouraging,' said I.
`Meant to be so,' said Wemmick.
`Then is it your opinion,' I inquired, with some little indignation, `that a man should never--'
` - Invest portable property in a friend?' said Wemmick. `Certainly he should not. Unless he wants to get rid of the friend - and then it becomes a question how much portable property it may be worth to get rid of him.'
`And that,' said I, `is your deliberate opinion, Mr Wemmick?'
`That,' he returned, `is my deliberate opinion in this office.'
`Ah!' said I, pressing him, for I thought I saw him near a loophole here; `but would that be your opinion at Walworth?'
`Mr Pip,' he replied, with gravity, `Walworth is one place, and this office is another. Much as the Aged is one person, and Mr Jaggers is another. They must not be confounded together. My Walworth sentiments must be taken at Walworth; none but my official sentiments can be taken in this office.'
`Very well,' said I, much relieved, `then I shall look you up at Walworth, you may depend upon it.'
`Mr Pip,' he returned, `you will be welcome there, in a private and personal capacity.'
We had held this conversation in a low voice, well knowing my guardian's ears to be the sharpest of the sharp. As he now appeared in his doorway, towelling his hands, Wemmick got on his greatcoat and stood by to snuff out the candles. We all three went into the street together, and from the door-step Wemmick turned his way, and Mr Jaggers and I turned ours.
I could not help wishing more than once that evening, that Mr Jaggers had had an Aged in Gerrard-street, or a Stinger, or a Something, or a Somebody, to unbend his brows a little. It was an uncomfortable consideration on a twenty-first birthday, that coming of age at all seemed hardly worth while in such a guarded and suspicious world as he made of it. He was a thousand times better informed and cleverer than Wemmick, and yet I would a thousand times rather have had Wemmick to dinner. And Mr Jaggers made not me alone intensely melancholy, because, after he was gone, Herbert said of himself, with his eyes fixed on the fire, that he thought he must have committed a felony and forgotten the details of it, he felt so dejected and guilty.
 
赫伯特和我的情况正江河日下，越发不可收拾。尽管我们检查账目、留有余地，并采取了其他一切措施，可债务却越发增加了。时间不断流逝，不会停下来等人，霎时我进入了成年，这正应验了赫伯特的预言，我虽进入了成年，但怎么进入的却一无所知。
赫伯特比我早八个月进入成年。他默默地进入成年，没有大操大办，在巴纳德旅馆也没有引起注意和轰动。而我的二十一岁生日却是我们一直在盼望着的，我们有一大堆奇想和预测，都认为我的监护人在那一天一定会把事情说个水落石出。
我早就小心翼翼地事先在小不列颠街放风，说我哪一天过生日。在生日的前一天，温米克寄给我一份正式通知，告诉我贾格斯先生一定会愉快地接待我，如果我在吉祥如意的生日那一天下午五时去访问他，仅此就表明会有重要的事情发生，因而我坐立不安，心头乱跳地按时到达了我监护人的办公室，这次可谓遵守时间的模范了。
在外间办公室，温米克向我祝贺，并且用一张叠着的薄纸无意地擦了擦鼻子。见到这张纸的样子我很高兴，但是他对此什么也没有说，只是点了点头，示意我到我的监护人房间去。正值十一月，我的监护人站在壁炉前面，脊背倚靠在炉架上，两只手背在身后，抄在上衣的燕尾摆之中。
“皮普，你好，”他说道，“今天我该称呼你皮普先生了。皮普先生，向你祝贺。”
我们握着手（他一向握手时间很短），我向他表示了谢意。
“皮普先生，坐吧。”我的监护人说道。
我坐下来。他还是保持原有姿态，低着头看脚上的皮靴。我感到情况有些不妙，这使我忆起了多少年前我被接在墓碑上的情景。书架上那两个可怕的头像就离他不远，他们的表情仿佛想要听我们之间的谈话，结果却得了中风，一副傻乎乎的样子。
“我的年轻朋友，”我的监护人对我说道，那样子好像把我当成了法庭证人席上的证人，“现在我有几句话对你说。”
“先生，你说吧。”
“你猜猜看，”贾格斯先生俯身看着地上，然后又把头抬起来举目望着天花板，对我说道，“你猜猜你用钱的速度究竟是多少？”
“先生，用钱的速度？”
贾格斯先生眼睛继续望着天花板，重复问道：“用——钱——的——速——度？”然后他扫视着整个房间，把手帕向鼻子上捂去，但还没有碰到鼻子，手又停了下来。
虽说我经常检查自己的账目，可是这一检查完全使我对自己的账目一无所知，根本说不出来。于是，我只有不情愿地承认对这个问题无法回答。我的这一回答似乎使贾格斯先生很高兴，他说道：“我知道你答不出！”然后很满意地擤了擤他的鼻子。
贾格斯先生接着又说道：“现在我已经向你提出一个问题，我的朋友，那么你有什么问题要问我吗？”
“先生，我如果能向你提出几个问题，当然，对我来说是一种莫大的安慰。不过，我不能违背你的禁令。”
“你先问一个看看。”贾格斯先生说道。
“今天你能否告诉我，谁是我的恩主？”
“不能。再问第二个。”
“这一个秘密我会很快知道吗？”
“目前不要问这个问题，”贾格斯先生说道，“问别的问题。”
我四周望了一下，认为有一个问题是无法再回避了。“我——有什么礼物吗，先生？”贾格斯先生听到我提这个问题，像得了胜仗似的说道：“我知道你会问到这个问题！”然后，他叫温米克把那张纸拿过来。温米克走进来，把纸递给他，又走了出去。
“皮普先生，现在你得注意听，”贾格斯先生说道，“你在这里取款是很随便的；在温米克的账本上时常有你的名字。当然，你一定还欠了债，是吗？”
“先生，我恐怕是欠了债。”
“是欠债就必须干脆讲欠债，你欠没欠债？”贾格斯先生说道。
“是欠了债，先生。”
“我没有问你欠了多少，因为你自己也不知道欠了多少；即使你知道，你也不会老实告诉我，会少讲些。好了，好了，我的朋友，”贾格斯先生看到我正想为自己辩解，便用食指一挥止住了我，大声说道，“你可能要说你是不会这样的，可是，你就是会这样。对不起得很，我知道得比你更清楚。好吧，把这张纸拿在手上，你拿好了吗？很好。那么，你把纸打开，告诉我这是什么。”
“这是一张五百镑的钞票。”我说道。
“这是一张五百镑的钞票，”贾格斯先生重复说道，“是一笔很不小的款项吧，我想，你对此有什么想法，是或不是？”
“我看我没有不同的想法。”
“噢！你要正面回答这个问题。”贾格斯先生说道。
“当然是。”
“你想这当然是一笔不小的款项，好了，皮普，这笔不小的款项就是你的了。这也是今天你生日的礼物，也是你继承财产的开始。这就是说，每年你可以按这一不小的款项提款，不能超过这笔数字。你按照这笔数字安排生活，等到你的恩主出现再说。以后，关于钱的事务完全由你自己处置，每个季度你到温米克那里去支一百二十五镑，直到你和财源恩主直接对话，再不需要由我做代理人为止。我早就说过，我是有偿办事，谁付我钱，我为谁办事，履行我的职责。尽管我认为他们的做法是不明智的，但是，人家出钱不是买我的意见的。”
我正想表示对恩主的感谢，因为他如此大恩大德地待我，而贾格斯先生就在这时止住了我的讲话，并冷冷地对我说：“皮普，我拿人家的钱不是给你传话的。”然后，他把上衣的燕尾摆放开，同时也丢开了这个主题不谈，站在那里紧锁眉头看着他的皮靴，仿佛正在怀疑皮靴和他有什么过不去似的。
过了一会儿，我提醒道：
“贾格斯先生，刚才我提出一个问题，你要我暂时不要问；我要是现在再提出来，我想这没有什么不对吧？”
“什么问题？”他问道。
我早该知道他是不会帮我的；但是，要把那个问题作为一个新问题重说一遍，我却感到胆怯了，仿佛那真是一个全新的问题、迟疑了片刻，我才说道：“贾格斯先生，我的恩主，就是你刚才提到的财源恩主，是不是就——”说到这里，我为难地停住了，再也说不下去。
“是不是就什么？”贾格斯先生问道，“你知道，这样吞吞吐吐，别人是无法知道是什么问题的。”
“是不是就要来到伦敦？”我把措词安排得准确一些后说道，“还是会在什么地方叫我去一次？”
“听着，”贾格斯先生这时第一次用他那深陷在眼窝里的黑眼珠盯住我，答道，“我们先必须回顾一下我们第一次在你住的村子里相遇时的情况。皮普，那时我对你讲过什么了？”
“贾格斯先生，你告诉我，那个人或许几年后才能出现。”
“是这样，”贾格斯先生说道，“这也就是我的回答。”
我们相互望了好一会儿，我心中非常希望从他那里知道一点儿消息，因而紧张得呼吸急促起来。不但我自己感到呼吸急促，其实他也看了出来。我想，看来没有机会从他那里打听出什么消息了。
“贾格斯先生，你认为还要等上几年吗？”
贾格斯先生摇着脑袋，这并不代表否定的回答，而是代表他绝不能回答这种问题。我的眼光扫视到架子上的两个头像时，这两个可怕的头像正斜过面孔来倾听着，仿佛它们也听得悬疑不安，真想打喷嚏了！
“那么这样吧！”贾格斯先生用他暖和的手背抚擦着他的两条小腿肚子，要使之也暖和起来，说道，“我们坦诚相见，皮普，我的朋友，你不能问我这个问题。你应当明白，更该知道，要是我答复了这个问题，就可能损坏我的名誉，要连累上我。既然如此，我再讲明白些，再多说几句。”
他低着脑袋，紧锁眉头望着自己的皮靴子。就在这个时刻他还擦了一擦他的腿肚子。
贾格斯先生把身子直了一下，说道：“只要那个人一出面，你就得自己和他处理一切事务了；只要那个人一出面，我的任务便告一段落，我和此事的关系便了结了；只要那个人一出面，我就没有必要再知道你们的事了。这就是我所要说的全部。”
我们相互看着，最后我移开了眼光，深有所思地望着地板。我细细回味着他刚才所讲的话，悟出下面的道理：郝维仙小姐一定为了某种理由，或者根本没有理由地对他信不过，便没有告诉他有关我和埃斯苔娜的婚姻大事的安排，于是他便怀恨在心，心存妒忌；或者，他根本就反对这项计划，而不愿意干预。我想着便把眼皮抬起，发现他一直目光敏锐地望着我，而现在仍然在望着我。
“先生，你如果说完了你必须说的话，我也就没有什么可以说的了。”我答道。
他点头赞成我的话，然后掏出那只连小偷见了也胆战心惊的表，问我准备到哪里去吃饭，我告诉他我和赫伯特在自己的住地吃饭，并且顺便客套一下，说只要他有此好意，愿请他一起用膳。他很快便接受了这一邀请，不过，坚持要和我一起步行前去，为了不使我为他额外开销；另外，他还得写好一两封信，当然还得等他洗手。于是，我告诉他我先到外屋去和温米克谈谈。
情况是这样：五百镑钞票已进入我的口袋，现在我想到了一个问题，也是我早就想到过的一个问题，所以打算去问问温米克，因为他是一个很会出主意想办法的人。
这时他已经锁上了保险箱，正准备关门回家。他已经离开了办公桌，把一对油腻腻的烛台搬到门外，并且把它们和剪烛芯的剪刀一起放在门口的石板上，准备剪灭烛光。他把炉火也已封好，又准备好了帽子和大衣，正用他那保险箱的钥匙在自己的胸口拍击着，好像他正在做一种工余体操。
“温米克先生，”我说道，“有件事我想请你参谋一下。我极其想为一个朋友做点事。”
温米克把他那张邮筒口式的嘴抿得紧紧的，摇着头，意思仿佛是说像我这种说话的方式简直是致命弱点，他是坚决反对的。
我继续说道：“这位朋友正打算开始他的商业贸易活动，但他手头没有钱，所以，一开始他就遇上困难，而巨有点灰心失望。我现在想帮他忙，先让他起动起来。”
“把你的钱投放给他？”温米克用一种比干木屑还要无味的语调说道。
“投放进一部分钱，”我答道，不过很不安地想到家里放着好几捆扎得整齐均匀的账单，“投放进一部分钱，看来也许要投放进一部分遗产。”
“皮普先生，”温米克说道，“你要是高兴，让我来用指头一个一个地数几座桥给你听听。从这里直到切尔西区有好几座桥：第一座是伦敦桥，第二座是索斯沃克桥，第三座是黑修道土桥，第四座是滑铁卢桥，第五座是西敏寺桥，第六座是沃克斯浩桥。”数一座桥，他便用放在手心中的保险箱钥匙的柄板一个手指。“看，这里有六座桥供你选择。”
“你说的意思我还不懂。”我说道。
“皮普先生，你去选择一座桥，”温米克答道，“到这座桥上去走走。你在桥的中央把钱投进泰晤士河，结果会怎样，你自己一定明白。你把钱用来帮助朋友，结果会怎样，你自己也一定明白，而且会比投进水里更加使你不高兴，更加对你无益。”
说完，他那邮筒口式的嘴巴张得大大的，我完全可以投进一张报纸去。
“你的话太使人失望了。”我说道。
“本来就是这意思。”温米克答道。
“那么，这就是你的意见了，”我带些愤愤不平地问道，“就是说一个人决不——”
“该把动产投给朋友？”温米克把我的问话补充完毕，随后又答道：
“确确实实不该，除非他准备甩掉这个朋友。不过为了甩掉这个朋友，也得考虑一下该花多少钱才值得。”
我说道：“那么，温米克先生，这是不是你经过考虑后的意见呢？”
他答道：“这是我在事务所里经过考虑后的意见。”
“噢！”我想我发现了他这话中包含着另一种可能的见解，便追问道，“如果你在伍尔华斯也会发表这种意见吗？”
“皮普先生，”他认真严肃地对我说，“伍尔华斯是伍尔华斯，事务所是事务所，就好像我那位老人家是一种人，而贾格斯先生是另一种人，两者不能混合在一起。我在伍尔华斯有伍尔华斯的想法，在事务所只能有事务所的见解。”
“太棒了，”我心情宽松不少，说道，“那么我会到伍尔华斯去拜访你，我一定去伍尔华斯。”
“皮普先生，”他答道，“你以私人和个人的身份来看我，我非常欢迎。”
我们两人用很低的声音交谈着，因为我们都知道我的监护人的耳朵比谁都尖，当他出现在门口用毛巾擦着手时，温米克穿上了他的大衣，站在一旁剪掉烛心，熄了烛光。我们三人一起上路，在事务所门口，温米克上了他的路，贾格斯先生和我也转向我们的路。就在当天晚上我不止一次地在想，如果贾格斯先生在他的吉拉德街也有一个老人家，或者也有一门大炮，或者也有个什么人，使他舒展眉眼，那会增添不少快意。
我二十一岁成年生日的一天，心情很不舒畅，因为我还是在严格的监视之下，生活于疑云四起的世界之中，这是很不值得的。比起温米克来，贾格斯先生的信息要多一千倍，也要聪明一千倍；可是比起请贾格斯先生吃饭来，我一千倍地更加希望请温米克吃饭。这天，贾格斯先生使我感到孤独、忧郁，而且在他走后，赫伯特也直瞪瞪地望着火炉，叹息他一定是犯下了什么不赦之罪，可忘记了犯罪的内容，所以垂头丧气，愧疚不已。
Chapter 37
DEEMING Sunday the best day for taking Mr Wemmick's Walworth sentiments, I devoted the next ensuing Sunday afternoon to a pilgrimage to the Castle. On arriving before the battlements, I found the Union Jack flying and the drawbridge up; but undeterred by this show of defiance and resistance, I rang at the gate, and was admitted in a most pacific manner by the Aged. 
`My son, sir,' said the old man, after securing the drawbridge, `rather had it in his mind that you might happen to drop in, and he left word that he would soon be home from his afternoon's walk. He is very regular in his walks, is my son. Very regular in everything, is my son.'
I nodded at the old gentleman as Wemmick himself might have nodded, and we went in and sat down by the fireside.
`You made acquaintance with my son, sir,' said the old man, in his chirping way, while he warmed his hands at the blaze, `at his office, I expect?' I nodded. `Hah! I have heerd that my son is a wonderful hand at his business, sir?' I nodded hard. `Yes; so they tell me. His business is the Law?' I nodded harder. `Which makes it more surprising in my son,' said the old man, `for he was not brought up to the Law, but to the Wine-Coopering.'
Curious to know how the old gentleman stood informed concerning the reputation of Mr Jaggers, I roared that name at him. He threw me into the greatest confusion by laughing heartily and replying in a very sprightly manner, `No, to be sure; you're right.' And to this hour I have not the faintest notion what he meant, or what joke he thought I had made.
As I could not sit there nodding at him perpetually, without making some other attempt to interest him, I shouted at inquiry whether his own calling in life had been `the Wine-Coopering.' By dint of straining that term out of myself several times and tapping the old gentleman on the chest to associate it with him, I at last succeeded in making my meaning understood.
`No,' said the old gentleman; `the warehousing, the warehousing. First, over yonder;' he appeared to mean up the chimney, but I believe he intended to refer me to Liverpool; `and then in the City of London here. However, having an infirmity - for I am hard of hearing, sir--'
I expressed in pantomime the greatest astonishment.
` - Yes, hard of hearing; having that infirmity coming upon me, my son he went into the Law, and he took charge of me, and he by little and little made out this elegant and beautiful property. But returning to what you said, you know,' pursued the old man, again laughing heartily, `what I say is, No to be sure; you're right.'
I was modestly wondering whether my utmost ingenuity would have enabled me to say anything that would have amused him half as much as this imaginary pleasantry, when I was startled by a sudden click in the wall on one side of the chimney, and the ghostly tumbling open of a little wooden flap with `JOHN' upon it. The old man, following my eyes, cried with great triumph, `My son's come home!' and we both went out to the drawbridge.
It was worth any money to see Wemmick waving a salute to me from the other side of the moat, when we might have shaken hands across it with the greatest ease. The Aged was so delighted to work the drawbridge, that I made no offer to assist him, but stood quiet until Wemmick had come across, and had presented me to Miss Skiffins: a lady by whom he was accompanied.
Miss Skiffins was of a wooden appearance, and was, like her escort, in the post-office branch of the service. She might have been some two or three years younger than Wemmick, and I judged her to stand possessed of portable property. The cut of her dress from the waist upward, both before and behind, made her figure very like a boy's kite; and I might have pronounced her gown a little too decidedly orange, and her gloves a little too intensely green. But she seemed to be a good sort of fellow, and showed a high regard for the Aged. I was not long in discovering that she was a frequent visitor at the Castle; for, on our going in, and my complimenting Wemmick on his ingenious contrivance for announcing himself to the Aged, he begged me to give my attention for a moment to the other side of the chimney, and disappeared. Presently another click came, and another little door tumbled open with `Miss Skiffins' on it; then Miss Skiffins shut up and John tumbled open; then Miss Skiffins and John both tumbled open together, and finally shut up together. On Wemmick's return from working these mechanical appliances, I expressed the great admiration with which I regarded them, and he said, `Well, you know, they're both pleasant and useful to the Aged. And by George, sir, it's a thing worth mentioning, that of all the people who come to this gate, the secret of those pulls is only known to the Aged, Miss Skiffins, and me!'
`And Mr Wemmick made them,' added Miss Skiffins, `with his own hands out of his own head.'
While Miss Skiffins was taking off her bonnet (she retained her green gloves during the evening as an outward and visible sign that there was company), Wemmick invited me to take a walk with him round the property, and see how the island looked in wintertime. Thinking that he did this to give me an opportunity of taking his Walworth sentiments, I seized the opportunity as soon as we were out of the Castle.
Having thought of the matter with care, I approached my subject as if I had never hinted at it before. I informed Wemmick that I was anxious in behalf of Herbert Pocket, and I told him how we had first met, and how we had fought. I glanced at Herbert's home, and at his character, and at his having no means but such as he was dependent on his father for: those, uncertain and unpunctual.
I alluded to the advantages I had derived in my first rawness and ignorance from his society, and I confessed that I feared I had but ill repaid them, and that he might have done better without me and my expectations. Keeping Miss Havisham in the background at a great distance, I still hinted at the possibility of my having competed with him in his prospects, and at the certainty of his possessing a generous soul, and being far above any mean distrusts, retaliations, or designs. For all these reasons (I told Wemmick), and because he was my young companion and friend, and I had a great affection for him, I wished my own good fortune to reflect some rays upon him, and therefore I sought advice from Wemmick's experience and knowledge of men and affairs, how I could best try with my resources to help Herbert to some present income - say of a hundred a year, to keep him in good hope and heart - and gradually to buy him on to some small partnership. I begged Wemmick, in conclusion, to understand that my help must always be rendered without Herbert's knowledge or suspicion, and that there was no one else in the world with whom I could advise. I wound up by laying my hand upon his shoulder, and saying, `I can't help confiding in you, though I know it must be troublesome to you; but that is your fault, in having ever brought me here.'
Wemmick was silent for a little while, and then said with a kind of start, `Well you know, Mr Pip, I must tell you one thing. This is devilish good of you.'
`Say you'll help me to be good then,' said I.
`Ecod,' replied Wemmick, shaking his head, `that's not my trade.'
`Nor is this your trading-place,' said I.
`You are right,' he returned. `You hit the nail on the head. Mr Pip, I'll put on my considering-cap, and I think all you want to do, may be done by degrees. Skiffins (that's her brother) is an accountant and agent. I'll look him up and go to work for you.'
`I thank you ten thousand times.'
`On the contrary,' said he, `I thank you, for though we are strictly in our private and personal capacity, still it may be mentioned that there are Newgate cobwebs about, and it brushes them away.'
After a little further conversation to the same effect, we returned into the Castle where we found Miss Skiffins preparing tea. The responsible duty of making the toast was delegated to the Aged, and that excellent old gentleman was so intent upon it that he seemed to me in some danger of melting his eyes. It was no nominal meal that we were going to make, but a vigorous reality. The Aged prepared such a haystack of buttered toast, that I could scarcely see him over it as it simmered on an iron stand hooked on to the top-bar; while Miss Skiffins brewed such a jorum of tea, that the pig in the back premises became strongly excited, and repeatedly expressed his desire to participate in the entertainment.
The flag had been struck, and the gun had been fired, at the right moment of time, and I felt as snugly cut off from the rest of Walworth as if the moat were thirty feet wide by as many deep. Nothing disturbed the tranquillity of the Castle, but the occasional tumbling open of John and Miss Skiffins: which little doors were a prey to some spasmodic infirmity that made me sympathetically uncomfortable until I got used to it. I inferred from the methodical nature of Miss Skiffins's arrangements that she made tea there every Sunday night; and I rather suspected that a classic brooch she wore, representing the profile of an undesirable female with a very straight nose and a very new moon, was a piece of portable property that had been given her by Wemmick.
We ate the whole of the toast, and drank tea in proportion, and it was delightful to see how warm and greasy we all got after it. The Aged especially, might have passed for some clean old chief of a savage tribe, just oiled. After a short pause of repose, Miss Skiffins - in the absence of the little servant who, it seemed, retired to the bosom of her family on Sunday afternoons - washed up the tea-things, in a trifling lady-like amateur manner that compromised none of us. Then, she put on her gloves again, and we drew round the fire, and Wemmick said, `Now Aged Parent, tip us the paper.'
Wemmick explained to me while the Aged got his spectacles out, that this was according to custom, and that it gave the old gentleman infinite satisfaction to read the news aloud. `I won't offer an apology,' said Wemmick, `for he isn't capable of many pleasures - are you, Aged P.?'
`All right, John, all right,' returned the old man, seeing himself spoken to.
`Only tip him a nod every now and then when he looks off his paper,' said Wemmick, `and he'll be as happy as a king. We are all attention, Aged One.'
`All right, John, all right!' returned the cheerful old man: so busy and so pleased, that it really was quite charming.
The Aged's reading reminded me of the classes at Mr Wopsle's great-aunt's, with the pleasanter peculiarity that it seemed to come through a keyhole. As he wanted the candles close to him, and as he was always on the verge of putting either his head or the newspaper into them, he required as much watching as a powder-mill. But Wemmick was equally untiring and gentle in his vigilance, and the Aged read on, quite unconscious of his many rescues. Whenever he looked at us, we all expressed the greatest interest and amazement, and nodded until he resumed again.
As Wemmick and Miss Skiffins sat side by side, and as I sat in a shadowy corner, I observed a slow and gradual elongation of Mr Wemmick's mouth, powerfully suggestive of his slowly and gradually stealing his arm round Miss Skiffins's waist. In course of time I saw his hand appear on the other side of Miss Skiffins; but at that moment Miss Skiffins neatly stopped him with the green glove, unwound his arm again as if it were an article of dress, and with the greatest deliberation laid it on the table before her. Miss Skiffins's composure while she did this was one of the most remarkable sights I have ever seen, and if I could have thought the act consistent with abstraction of mind, I should have deemed that Miss Skiffins performed it mechanically.
By-and-by, I noticed Wemmick's arm beginning to disappear again, and gradually fading out of view. Shortly afterwards, his mouth began to widen again. After an interval of suspense on my part that was quite enthralling and almost painful, I saw his hand appear on the other side of Miss Skiffins. Instantly, Miss Skiffins stopped it with the neatness of a placid boxer, took off that girdle or cestus as before, and laid it on the table. Taking the table to represent the path of virtue, I am justified in stating that during the whole time of the Aged's reading, Wemmick's arm was straying from the path of virtue and being recalled to it by Miss Skiffins.
At last, the Aged read himself into a light slumber. This was the time for Wemmick to produce a little kettle, a tray of glasses, and a black bottle with a porcelain-topped cork, representing some clerical dignitary of a rubicund and social aspect. With the aid of these appliances we all had something warm to drink: including the Aged, who was soon awake again. Miss Skiffins mixed, and I observed that she and Wemmick drank out of one glass. Of course I knew better than to offer to see Miss Skiffins home, and under the circumstances I thought I had best go first: which I did, taking a cordial leave of the Aged, and having passed a pleasant evening.
Before a week was out, I received a note from Wemmick, dated Walworth, stating that he hoped he had made some advance in that matter appertaining to our private and personal capacities, and that he would be glad if I could come and see him again upon it. So, I went out to Walworth again, and yet again, and yet again, and I saw him by appointment in the City several times, but never held any communication with him on the subject in or near Little Britain. The upshot was, that we found a worthy young merchant or shipping-broker, not long established in business, who wanted intelligent help, and who wanted capital, and who in due course of time and receipt would want a partner. Between him and me, secret articles were signed of which Herbert was the subject, and I paid him half of my five hundred pounds down, and engaged for sundry other payments: some, to fall due at certain dates out of my income: some, contingent on my coming into my property. Miss Skiffins's brother conducted the negotiation. Wemmick pervaded it throughout, but never appeared in it.
The whole business was so cleverly managed, that Herbert had not the least suspicion of my hand being in it. I never shall forget the radiant face with which he came home one afternoon, and told me, as a mighty piece of news, of his having fallen in with one Clarriker (the young merchant's name), and of Clarriker's having shown an extraordinary inclination towards him, and of his belief that the opening had come at last. Day by day as his hopes grew stronger and his face brighter, he must have thought me a more and more affectionate friend, for I had the greatest difficulty in restraining my tears of triumph when I saw him so happy. At length, the thing being done, and he having that day entered Clarriker's House, and he having talked to me for a whole evening in a flush of pleasure and success, I did really cry in good earnest when I went to bed, to think that my expectations had done some good to somebody.
A great event in my life, the turning point of my life, now opens on my view. But, before I proceed to narrate it, and before I pass on to all the changes it involved, I must give one chapter to Estella. It is not much to give to the t heme that so long filled my heart.
 
我想星期天是个最好的日子，我可以在这一天去听取温米克在伍尔华斯的见解，于是下一个星期天的下午，我便去朝拜那座城堡。我走到城堡的雉堞之前，只见英国国旗正在城头飘扬，吊桥被高高悬起，但是这种目空一切、气势逼人的情景并没有阻止我前进。我按响门铃，老人家走来开门，以最心平气和的高兴劲儿让我进去。
这位老人把吊桥又高悬起来后，对我说道：“先生，我儿子早就猜到你会来的，他要我告诉你，他马上就回来，这会儿去散步了。他可不愧是我儿子，散步是很有规律的。他可不愧是我儿子，干每一件事都是很有规律的。”
我就学温米克点头的样子对老先生连连点头。我们走到屋里，坐在火炉旁边。
这位老人家一面在炽烈的炉火上烤着手，一面像小鸟似的瞅瞅地对我说：“先生，你是在事务所里和我儿子混熟了的吧？”我点着头。“哈！先生，我听说我儿子在做事时是个了不起的人，是吗？”我连连点头。“是这样，大家都对我说。他干的是法律这一行，对吗？”我更加快地点头。老人家又说道：“就是这个法律把我儿子弄得更加出色了，其实他本来不是学法律的，而是学箍酒桶的。”
我有一种好奇心，很希望这位老人家表示一下对贾格斯先生的看法，于是便对着他大吼着贾格斯的名字。他听了我的吼叫便哈哈大笑，并且精神抖擞地答道：“可以肯定不是，你说得对。”他的这一回答使我坠人五里云雾之中，弄得懵懵懂懂。一直到今天，每想起此事，我还是不明白他说的究竟是什么意思，或者他认为我和他开的是什么笑话。
我坐在那里总不能对他永远不停地点头，也该想些其他的办法使他高兴高兴，便大喊着问他本来是不是个箍酒桶的。我大声地把“箍酒桶的”这个词说了好多遍，而且每说一遍就在他胸口拍一下，意思是指他而不是指别人。结果，他终于弄懂了我的意思。
“不是的，”老人家说道，“在栈房里，在栈房里做事。起初在那儿，”他那样子是指烟囱那个方向，根据具体情况我猜他是指利物浦这个地方，“后来就到了伦敦这里。不过后来我有了毛病，我听不见了，先生——”
我像演哑剧一样用手势向他表示我对此十分惊讶。
“——就是这样，我听不见了，我有了这个毛病，我儿子就去干法律了。他抚养我，并且一点儿一点儿积起这份又风雅又漂亮的产业，不过，再回到你刚才所说的，你知道，”老人又快活地大笑起来，然后说，“我说的是，可以肯定不是，你说得对。”
我想我在无意之中使他高兴非凡，而如果我用尽心机寻找些事使他高兴，也许一半目的都达不到，因此我感到很惊奇。正想到这里，突然听到在烟囱一边的墙上有咔嚓的声音，使我惊了一下，然后便看到有一块小木片像鬼魂一样出现了，上面有“约翰”的字样。老人家顺着我的眼光看去，立刻高兴地叫道：“我的儿子回家来了！”于是，我们两个人走出来到吊桥那里。
温米克隔着壕沟向我摇手致敬，这个场面真是花钱也买不到的，因为其实我们完全可以隔着壕沟握手，还更方便些呢。老人家非常喜欢摆弄吊桥，我无法插手帮忙，干脆安安静静地站在一旁，直到温米克走过来。和他同来的有一位女士，他向我介绍说是司琪芬小姐。
从外表看，司琪芬小姐简直是个木头人，和她的护送人一样好像是为邮局当差的。看上去，她要比温米克年轻那么三两岁，我心中猜测，她手头一定有一笔动产。她穿的衣服，从腰部向上剪裁得很有意思，无论是胸前或背后，都像孩子玩的纸鸢。她身上穿的那件桔黄色袍子实在是黄得过分，而她手上戴的那副绿色手套却又绿得太刺目。从外表上看，她倒是一位好心肠的女人，对老人家的态度表现出尊重。不用多久我就看出，她是这座城堡里的常客。我们一走进来，我就恭维温米克，说他向老人家通报自己回来的那个巧妙设计真是太好了。温米克却要我注意烟囱的另一边墙上，然后便走了出去。一会儿功夫又听到咔嚓声响，另一扇小门突然开了，出现一块小木片，上面写着“司琪芬小姐”，由此可见她是常客。接着又变开了花样，司琪芬小姐这扇门关上，约翰那扇门开了；然后司琪芬小姐和约翰的两扇门都一起打开，最后又一起关上。等温米克弄完他的机关回到屋里，我便向他表示非常敬佩他的装置。他听后说道：“你要知道，这种装置对于老人家来说既有趣又实用。先生，有一点值得提一下，来到这个城堡大门前的人，谁都不知道这机关的秘密所在，只有老人家、司琪芬小姐和我三个人知道。”
“这可是温米克先生自己动手做的，”司琪芬小姐补充说道，“也是他用自己的头脑想出来的。”
司琪芬小姐整个晚上都戴着她的那副绿手套，这是一种见得着的外部标记，说明这里有外客。在她脱下头上那顶无边帽时，温米克请我去散步，围着他的产业转转，并且让我看一下冬日小岛的情调。我暗忖，他这样做是为了让我有一个机会倾听他的伍尔华斯见解。于是，我们一走出城堡，我便抓住机会不放。
对于我要谈的问题我经过精心设计，所以在谈及这个问题时好像过去从来没有提过一样。我告诉温米克我对赫伯特•鄱凯特的前途担忧，我了解他的家庭情况，了解他的品性为人，他自己一无所有，只依靠他父亲的补助，何况这种补助是不可靠的，也是不定期的。我说，我初来伦敦，生性粗野，见识又少，而他对我指点颇多，使我获益不小。我坦然承认，我欠他的情感账无法偿还，如果没有我，如果不是因为我的前程，他的处境一定比现在要好。我注意把郝维仙小姐放得远远地不谈，不过仍然暗示了我和赫伯特在前途方面的竞争可能。我说他确实在心灵方面慷慨豁达，对人从不采取卑鄙不信任的态度，没有复仇心理，更不会利用阴谋诡计的方法害人。我告诉温米克，由于各种理由，再加上我和他是儿时的伙伴与朋友，我对他有着深厚的友谊，我希望我个人的幸福对他也有些利益，也在他身上反映出来。因为温米克阅历丰富，知识渊博，所以我特地来向温米克请教，我该怎么样对我个人财源作最佳处理，并帮助赫伯特有些收入，比如说每年一百镑，使他多少有点希望的鼓舞，再逐步地为他买一些小额股份。总之，我请求温米克了解，我对赫伯特的帮忙绝对不能让赫伯特知道，也不能使他生疑；除了温米克外，我找不到第二个人能为我出主意。我说了这么些话后，把我的手放在他的肩膀上，又说道：“我不得不对你倾吐心中秘密，虽然我也知道这会造成你的麻烦。可是这又有什么办法，是你要我到这里来的，说到底责任在你一方啊。”
温米克先生沉默了一会儿，然后大为吃惊地说道：“唔，皮普先生，你要懂得，我必须告诉你一件事：你的心好，而且好得过分。”
“就是说你会成全我的好心(口罗)。”我说道。
“唷，”温米克摇着头答道，“这可不是我干的交易。”
“这也不是你的交易场合。”我说道。
“你说的这就对了，”他说道，“这句话才是中肯的。皮普先生，我得戴上思考的帽子来，深思熟虑一下，我想你要做的那些事都得一步步地办。司琪芬先生，即司琪芬小姐的哥哥，是会计师，又是代理商。我要么先去拜访一下他，然后再给你办。”
“那就谢谢你了，感谢你一千次一万次。”
他答道：“不必谢我，我倒要谢你呢。因为虽说我们之间的交往是私下的，是个人的，不过得提一下，我从新门监狱带来的蜘蛛网，这事倒可以将它们清除掉了。”
我们又谈了一会儿同样的内容，然后回到城堡。这时，司琪芬小姐正在烧水沏茶，而老人家的伟大任务是烤吐司。这位老人家是位绝顶好的人，看他专心一致地在干着他的事儿，两眼盯住吐司，只怕连眼睛都会被热气融化的。我们这一顿晚餐绝不是徒有其名的，而是准备得实实在在的非常丰富。老人家准备了一大堆奶油吐司，都放在顶层炉格架上，慢慢地烤着，以致我只能看到吐司堆，而看不到对面的老人家。司琪芬小姐沏了一大杯茶，香气扑鼻，连住在后宅的猪也被香气熏得激动起来，咕咕地一再表示它也希望能享受这一美餐。
国旗已经降下，炮也已经放过，此时，我感到非常的舒适，好像城壕有三十英尺宽三十英尺深，把我和伍尔华斯外面的空间完全隔绝了一样。整座城堡一片静寂，如果说有任何东西在破坏这安静的环境，那就是约翰和司琪芬小姐两扇小机关门时开时合，就好像是患了抽筋的毛病，刺激着我的神经，使我感到不太舒服，不过没有多久我也就习惯了。我看司琪芬做事那么井井有条，纹丝不乱，由此得出结论，她一定每个星期天晚上都来这儿沏茶。我看到她别了一根古典式样的胸针，上面有一个女人像，直鼻梁，不太漂亮，旁边还有一弯新月，不禁怀疑，这怕是温米克送给她的一份动产吧。
我们把全部吐司都吃完了，又喝了大量的茶，人人都感到暖和和、油腻腻的十分开心。特别是老人家，简直像野蛮部落的一位于干净净。刚涂过油的老酋长。休息了一会儿，司琪芬小姐便动手洗茶具，那副样子就像一个贵妇人，把洗碗杯当成了游戏，所以一点也不失体面。今天那位小女仆不在，看来是星期天下午回家去享受天伦之乐了。洗毕，司琪芬小姐又戴上手套，我们大家围火而坐，温米克说道：“现在让老爸爸给我们读报吧。”
老人家取出眼镜时，温米克对我说，他读报完全是习惯，因为大声朗读报纸新闻会给老先生带来无限的乐趣。温米克对我说：“我也用不着向你告罪了，因为老人家取乐的方法并不多，老爸爸，你说是不是？”
“对极了，约翰，对极了。”老人家看到儿子问他，便这样答道。
“只要老人家目光一离开报纸，你就对着他点头，”温米克说道，“他就会像国王一样快活。老爸爸，我们都注意听你读报呢。”
“对极了，约翰，对极了！”老人家高兴地答道；他又忙又高兴，其情景真的很迷人。
这老人家读报的情形使我想起在沃甫赛先生姑婆办的夜校里读书的情况，不过老人家的声音好像是从钥匙洞里传出来的一样，使人感到特别有趣。他读报时总是把蜡烛靠近自己，因此总是会把头发或报纸撞进火里，他也就需要别人像守卫火药库一样守卫在旁边。温米克保持着高度警惕，毫不疲倦而又非常温和地注意着。老人家继续读着报，根本没有意识到他多次的被救。他一看着我们，我们全都表现出十分感兴趣、十分惊讶的神情，并且对他连连点头，直到他重新开始读报为止。
温米克和司琪芬小姐并排坐在一起，而我坐在一个阴暗的角落。我看到温米克先生的嘴慢慢地渐渐拉长，好像暗示着温米克的手臂正慢慢地渐渐向着司琪芬的腰部，偷偷地抱过去。接下去，我看到他的手已经伸到了司琪芬小姐另一边的腰上。就这时，司琪芬小姐干净利索地用她那只戴手套的手把他的手臂拉开来，制止了他的轻薄行为，动作就像解开一根腰带一样，然后从容不迫地把他的手放到她面前的桌面上。司琪芬做这一切的时候镇静自若，是我平生所见到的最引人人胜的奇观；如果说她的动作是那么漫不经心而又出神人化，那我认为司琪芬小姐完成这一动作已经完全机械化了。
不一会儿，我注意到温米克那条搁在桌上的手臂又渐渐不安分起来，最后终于不见了。不一会儿后，他的嘴巴又开始拉长。这时我的心中十分不安，紧张得真有点受不了，而且近似痛苦，终于我看到他的手又出现在司琪芬小姐另一侧的腰上。同时，司琪芬小姐又一次制止了他的轻薄行为，这一次于净利索得像一个拳击手在解开腰带或脱掉拳击手套一样，把他的手放在了桌面上。如果把这桌子当作通向美德之路，那我就有理由认为，在老人家认真读报的过程中，温米克的手臂不断地迷失了道路，而司琪芬小姐则是从歧途中把他领回美德之路的人。
终于，老人家读着读着自己进入了睡梦。这时，温米克拿来一把小壶，一盘子玻璃茶杯，和一只有一个瓷塞的黑瓶子，上面绘着一位高级牧师的像，脸红红的，有一副和善的面容。我们用这些茶具喝起热茶来，老人家从小睡中醒来后也参加进来。茶是由司琪芬小姐特制的，我看到她和温米克共用一只杯子喝茶。当然，我从中悟出，还是不必等着送司琪芬小姐回家的好，在这种情况下我最好还是独自先走为佳。于是我说到办到，亲切地向老人家告辞。一个快乐的夜晚便如此度过了。
不到一个星期，我接到一封温米克从伍尔华斯寄来的信，信中说我们私下以个人名义相帮办的那件事已经有些眉目，如果我找个时间再到他家去看看他，他一定会十分乐意。于是我便又到伍尔华斯去了一次，以后又一次次地去，还在城内约见过好几次，但是在小不列颠街或小不列颠街附近的地方我们从来没有谈过这个问题。问题的进展是这样的，我们找到了一个品德高尚、值得尊敬的青年商人，或者具体地说，是一个航运经纪人，从事经商还不久，需要个聪明的帮手，也需要资金，一俟有了收益，便可以转为合伙人。于是我用赫伯特的名义和他签订了一项秘密协议，先从我的那五百镑中取出二百五十镑给他，并且双方约定以后再付几笔其他的款项，一部分从到期的收入中扣除，另一部分可能要等到获得遗产后再付。司琪芬的哥哥直接主持了这一项谈判。温米克全方位参与了其事，但他一次面也没有露过。
整个事情都处理得十分聪明，赫伯特完全给蒙在鼓里，一点也不怀疑是我在这里插上了一手。我永远不会忘记那一天下午，他红光满面地回到家里，告诉我一件特别重要的新闻，说他遇到了一位叫做克拉利柯的人，就是那位年青的商人。他说克拉利柯对他非常友好，他相信他时来运转，机会终于来了。他感到他的希望越来越大，他的脸上也越来越有光彩，和我的情谊也越来越深。每当看到他如此快乐，我真情不自禁地流出无限喜悦的眼泪。
最后，这件事完全办妥，他也进了克拉利柯的交易所，花了一整晚时间，眉飞色舞地告诉我他的高兴和成功。当晚上床就寝时，想到自己将继承的遗产居然也为别人办了好事，我真真实实、痛痛快快地哭了一场。
我一生中的重大事件，我一生中的转折点，现在已经展现在眼前。但是，在我开始叙述它之前，在我讲述它所牵涉到的一切变化之前，我必须专门用一章来谈谈埃斯苔娜。对于这样一个充满在我心灵中的主题，用一章来叙述是不算多的。
Chapter 38
IF that staid old house near the Green at Richmond should ever come to be haunted when I am dead, it will be haunted, surely, by my ghost. O the many, many nights and days through which the unquiet spirit within me haunted that house when Estella lived there! Let my body be where it would, my spirit was always wandering, wandering, wandering, about that house. 
The lady with whom Estella was placed, Mrs Brandley by name, was a widow, with one daughter several years older than Estella. The mother looked young, and the daughter looked old; the mother's complexion was pink, and the daughter's was yellow; the mother set up for frivolity, and the daughter for theology. They were in what is called a good position, and visited, and were visited by, numbers of people. Little, if any, community of feeling subsisted between them and Estella, but the understanding was established that they were necessary to her, and that she was necessary to them. Mrs Brandley had been a friend of Miss Havisham's before the time of her seclusion.
In Mrs Brandley's house and out of Mrs Brandley's house, I suffered every kind and degree of torture that Estella could cause me. The nature of my relations with her, which placed me on terms of familiarity without placing me on terms of favour, conduced to my distraction. She made use of me to tease other admirers, and she turned the very familiarity between herself and me, to the account of putting a constant slight on my devotion to her. If I had been her secretary, steward, half-brother, poor relation - if I had been a younger brother of her appointed husband - I could not have seemed to myself, further from my hopes when I was nearest to her. The privilege of calling her by her name and hearing her call me by mine, became under the circumstances an aggravation of my trials; and while I think it likely that it almost maddened her other lovers, I know too certainly that it almost maddened me.
She had admirers without end. No doubt my jealousy made an admirer of every one who went near her; but there were more than enough of them without that.
I saw her often at Richmond, I heard of her often in town, and I used often to take her and the Brandleys on the water; there were pic-nics, fête days, plays, operas, concerts, parties, all sorts of pleasures, through which I pursued her - and they were all miseries to me. I never had one hour's happiness in her society, and yet my mind all round the four-and-twenty hours was harping on the happiness of having her with me unto death.
Throughout this part of our intercourse - and it lasted, as will presently be seen, for what I then thought a long time - she habitually reverted to that tone which expressed that our association was forced upon us. There were other times when she would come to a sudden check in this tone and in all her many tones, and would seem to pity me.
`Pip, Pip,' she said one evening, coming to such a check, when we sat apart at a darkening window of the house in Richmond; `will you never take warning?'
`Of what?'
`Of me.'
`Warning not to be attracted by you, do you mean, Estella?'
`Do I mean! If you don't know what I mean, you are blind.'
I should have replied that Love was commonly reputed blind, but for the reason that I always was restrained - and this was not the least of my miseries - by a feeling that it was ungenerous to press myself upon her, when she knew that she could not choose but obey Miss Havisham. My dread always was, that this knowledge on her part laid me under a heavy disadvantage with her pride, and made me the subject of a rebellious struggle in her bosom.
`At any rate,' said I, `I have no warning given me just now, for you wrote to me to come to you, this time.'
`That's true,' said Estella, with a cold careless smile that always chilled me.
After looking at the twilight without, for a little while, she went on to say:
`The time has come round when Miss Havisham wishes to have me for a day at Satis. You are to take me there, and bring me back, if you will. She would rather I did not travel alone, and objects to receiving my maid, for she has a sensitive horror of being talked of by such people. Can you take me?'
`Can I take you, Estella!'
`You can then? The day after to-morrow, if you please. You are to pay all charges out of my purse, You hear the condition of your going?'
`And must obey,' said I.
This was all the preparation I received for that visit, or for others like it: Miss Havisham never wrote to me, nor had I ever so much as seen her handwriting. We went down on the next day but one, and we found her in the room where I had first beheld her, and it is needless to add that there was no change in Satis House.
She was even more dreadfully fond of Estella than she had been when I last saw them together; I repeat the word advisedly, for there was something positively dreadful in the energy of her looks and embraces. She hung upon Estella's beauty, hung upon her words, hung upon her gestures, and sat mumbling her own trembling fingers while she looked at her, as though she were devouring the beautiful creature she had reared.
From Estella she looked at me, with a searching glance that seemed to pry into my heart and probe its wounds. `How does she use you, Pip; how does she use you?' she asked me again, with her witch-like eagerness, even in Estella's hearing. But, when we sat by her flickering fire at night, she was most weird; for then, keeping Estella's hand drawn through her arm and clutched in her own hand, she extorted from her, by dint of referring back to what Estella had told her in her regular letters, the names and conditions of the men whom she had fascinated; and as Miss Havisham dwelt upon his roll, with the intensity of a mind mortally hurt and diseased, she sat with her other hand on her crutch stick, and her chin on that, and her wan bright eyes glaring at me, a very spectre.
I saw in this, wretched though it made me, and bitter the sense of dependence and even of degradation that it awakened - I saw in this, that Estella was set to wreak Miss Havisham's revenge on men, and that she was not to be given to me until she had gratified it for a term. I saw in this, a reason for her being beforehand assigned to me. Sending her out to attract and torment and do mischief, Miss Havisham sent her with the malicious assurance that she was beyond the reach of all admirers, and that all who staked upon that cast were secured to lose. I saw in this, that I, too, was tormented by a perversion of ingenuity, even while the prize was reserved for me. I saw in this, the reason for my being staved off so long, and the reason for my late guardian's declining to commit himself to the formal knowledge of such a scheme. In a word, I saw in this, Miss Havisham as I had her then and there before my eyes, and always had had her before my eyes; and I saw in this, the distinct shadow of the darkened and unhealthy house in which her life was hidden from the sun.
The candles that lighted that room of hers were placed in sconces on the wall. They were high from the ground, and they burnt with the steady dulness of artificial light in air that is seldom renewed. As I looked round at them, and at the pale gloom they made, and at the stopped clock, and at the withered articles of bridal dress upon the table and the ground, and at her own awful figure with its ghostly reflection thrown large by the fire upon the ceiling and the wall, I saw in everything the construction that my mind had come to, repeated and thrown back to me. My thoughts passed into the great room across the landing where the table was spread, and I saw it written, as it were, in the falls of the cobwebs from the centre-piece, in the crawlings of the spiders on the cloth, in the tracks of the mice as they betook their little quickened hearts behind the panels, and in the gropings and pausings of the beetles on the floor.
It happened on the occasion of this visit that some sharp words arose between Estella and Miss Havisham. It was the first time I had ever seen them opposed.
We were seated by the fire, as just now described, and Miss Havisham still had Estella's arm drawn through her own, and still clutched Estella's hand in hers, when Estella gradually began to detach herself. She had shown a proud impatience more than once before, and had rather endured that fierce affection than accepted or returned it.
`What!' said Miss Havisham, flashing her eyes upon her, `are you tired of me?'
`Only a little tired of myself,' replied Estella, disengaging her arm, and moving to the great chimney-piece, where she stood looking down at the fire.
`Speak the truth, you ingrate!' cried Miss Havisham, passionately striking her stick upon the floor; `you are tired of me.'
Estella looked at her with perfect composure, and again looked down at the fire. Her graceful figure and her beautiful face expressed a self-possessed indifference to the wild heat of the other, that was almost cruel.
`You stock and stone!' exclaimed Miss Havisham. `You cold, cold heart!'
`What?' said Estella, preserving her attitude of indifference as she leaned against the great chimney-piece and only moving her eyes; `do you reproach me for being cold? You?'
`Are you not?' was the fierce retort.
`You should know,' said Estella. `I am what you have made me. Take all the praise, take all the blame; take all the success, take all the failure; in short, take me.'
`O, look at her, look at her!' cried Miss Havisham, bitterly; `Look at her, so hard and thankless, on the hearth where she was reared! Where I took her into this wretched breast when it was first bleeding from its stabs, and where I have lavished years of tenderness upon her!'
`At least I was no party to the compact,' said Estella, `for if I could walk and speak, when it was made, it was as much as I could do. But what would you have? You have been very good to me, and I owe everything to you. What would you have?'
`Love,' replied the other.
`You have it.'
`I have not,' said Miss Havisham.
`Mother by adoption,' retorted Estella, never departing from the easy grace of her attitude, never raising her voice as the other did, never yielding either to anger or tenderness, `Mother by adoption, I have said that I owe everything to you. All I possess is freely yours. All that you have given me, is at your command to have again. Beyond that, I have nothing. And if you ask me to give you what you never gave me, my gratitude and duty cannot do impossibilities.'
`Did I never give her love!' cried Miss Havisham, turning wildly to me. `Did I never give her a burning love, inseparable from jealousy at all times, and from sharp pain, while she speaks thus to me! Let her call me mad, let her call me mad!'
`Why should I call you mad,' returned Estella, `I, of all people? Does any one live, who knows what set purposes you have, half as well as I do? Does any one live, who knows what a steady memory you have, half as well as I do? I who have sat on this same hearth on the little stool that is even now beside you there, learning your lessons and looking up into your face, when your face was strange and frightened me!'
`Soon forgotten!' moaned Miss Havisham. `Times soon forgotten!'
`No, not forgotten,' retorted Estella. `Not forgotten, but treasured up in my memory. When have you found me false to your teaching? When have you found me unmindful of your lessons? When have you found me giving admission here,' she touched her bosom with her hand, `to anything that you excluded? Be just to me.'
`So proud, so proud!' moaned Miss Havisham, pushing away her grey hair with both her hands.
`Who taught me to be proud?' returned Estella. `Who praised me when I learnt my lesson?'
`So hard, so hard!' moaned Miss Havisham, with her former action.
`Who taught me to be hard?' returned Estella. `Who praised me when I learnt my lesson?'
`But to be proud and hard to me!' Miss Havisham quite shrieked, as she stretched out her arms. `Estella, Estella, Estella, to be proud and hard to me!'
Estella looked at her for a moment with a kind of calm wonder, but was not otherwise disturbed; when the moment was past, she looked down at the fire again.
`I cannot think,' said Estella, raising her eyes after a silence `why you should be so unreasonable when I come to see you after a separation. I have never forgotten your wrongs and their causes. I have never been unfaithful to you or your schooling. I have never shown any weakness that I can charge myself with.'
`Would it be weakness to return my love?' exclaimed Miss Havisham. `But yes, yes, she would call it so!'
`I begin to think,' said Estella, in a musing way, after another moment of calm wonder, `that I almost understand how this comes about. If you had brought up your adopted daughter wholly in the dark confinement of these rooms, and had never let her know that there was such a thing as the daylight by which she has never once seen your face - if you had done that, and then, for a purpose had wanted her to understand the daylight and know all about it, you would have been disappointed and angry?'
Miss Havisham, with her head in her hands, sat making a low moaning, and swaying herself on her chair, but gave no answer.
`Or,' said Estella, ` - which is a nearer case - if you had taught her, from the dawn of her intelligence, with your utmost energy and might, that there was such a thing as daylight, but that it was made to be her enemy and destroyer, and she must always turn against it, for it had blighted you and would else blight her; - if you had done this, and then, for a purpose, had wanted her to take naturally to the daylight and she could not do it, you would have been disappointed and angry?'
Miss Havisham sat listening (or it seemed so, for I could not see her face), but still made no answer.
`So,' said Estella, `I must be taken as I have been made. The success is not mine, the failure is not mine, but the two together make me.'
Miss Havisham had settled down, I hardly knew how, upon the floor, among the faded bridal relics with which it was strewn. I took advantage of the moment - I had sought one from the first - to leave the room, after beseeching Estella's attention to her, with a movement of my hand. When I left, Estella was yet standing by the great chimney-piece, just as she had stood throughout. Miss Havisham's grey hair was all adrift upon the ground, among the other bridal wrecks, and was a miserable sight to see.
It was with a depressed heart that I walked in the starlight for an hour and more, about the court-yard, and about the brewery, and about the ruined garden. When I at last took courage to return to the room, I found Estella sitting at Miss Havisham's knee, taking up some stitches in one of those old articles of dress that were dropping to pieces, and of which I have often been reminded since by the faded tatters of old banners that I have seen hanging up in cathedrals. Afterwards, Estella and I played at cards, as of yore - only we were skilful now, and played French games - and so the evening wore away, and I went to bed.
I lay in that separate building across the court-yard. It was the first time I had ever lain down to rest in Satis House, and sleep refused to come near me. A thousand Miss Havishams haunted me. She was on this side of my pillow, on that, at the head of the bed, at the foot, behind the half-opened door of the dressing-room, in the dressing-room, in the room overhead, in the room beneath - everywhere. At last, when the night was slow to creep on towards two o'clock, I felt that I absolutely could no longer bear the place as a place to lie down in, and that I must get up. I therefore got up and put on my clothes, and went out across the yard into the long stone passage, designing to gain the outer court-yard and walk there for the relief of my mind. But, I was no sooner in the passage than I extinguished my candle; for, I saw Miss Havisham going along it in a ghostly manner, making a low cry. I followed her at a distance, and saw her go up the staircase. She carried a bare candle in her hand, which she had probably taken from one of the sconces in her own room, and was a most unearthly object by its light. Standing at the bottom of the staircase, I felt the mildewed air of the feast-chamber, without seeing her open the door, and I heard her walking there, and so across into her own room, and so across again into that, never ceasing the low cry. After a time, I tried in the dark both to get out, and to go back, but I could do neither until some streaks of day strayed in and showed me where to lay my hands. During the whole interval, whenever I went to the bottom of the staircase, I heard her footstep, saw her light pass above, and heard her ceaseless low cry.
Before we left next day, there was no revival of the difference between her and Estella, nor was it ever revived on any similar occasion; and there were four similar occasions, to the best of my remembrance. Nor, did Miss Havisham's manner towards Estella in anywise change, except that I believed it to have something like fear infused among its former characteristics.
It is impossible to turn this leaf of my life, without putting Bentley Drummle's name upon it; or I would, very gladly.
On a certain occasion when the Finches were assembled in force, and when good feeling was being promoted in the usual manner by nobody's agreeing with anybody else, the presiding Finch called the Grove to order, forasmuch as Mr Drummle had not yet toasted a lady; which, according to the solemn constitution of the society, it was the brute's turn to do that day. I thought I saw him leer in an ugly way at me while the decanters were going round, but as there was no love lost between us, that might easily be. What was my indignant surprise when he called upon the company to pledge him to `Estella!'
`Estella who?' said I.
`Never you mind,' retorted Drummle.
`Estella of where?' said I. `You are bound to say of where.' Which he was, as a Finch.
`Of Richmond, gentlemen,' said Drummle, putting me out of the question, `and a peerless beauty.'
Much he knew about peerless beauties, a mean miserable idiot!I whispered Herbert.
`I know that lady,' said Herbert, across the table, when the toast had been honoured.
`Do you?' said Drummle.
`And so do I,' I added, with a scarlet face.
`Do you?' said Drummle. `Oh, Lord!'
This was the only retort - except glass or crockery - that the heavy creature was capable of making; but, I became as highly incensed by it as if it had been barbed with wit, and I immediately rose in my place and said that I could not but regard it as being like the honourable Finch's impudence to come down to that Grove - we always talked about coming down to that Grove, as a neat Parliamentary turn of expression - down to that Grove, proposing a lady of whom he knew nothing. Mr Drummle upon this, starting up, demanded what I meant by that? Whereupon, I made him the extreme reply that I believed he knew where I was to be found.
Whether it was possible in a Christian country to get on without blood, after this, was a question on which the Finches were divided. The debate upon it grew so lively, indeed, that at least six more honourable members told six more, during the discussion, that they believed they knew where they were to be found. However, it was decided at last (the Grove being a Court of Honour) that if Mr Drummle would bring never so slight a certificate from the lady, importing that he had the honour of her acquaintance, Mr Pip must express his regret, as a gentleman and a Finch, for `having been betrayed into a warmth which.' Next day was appointed for the production (lest our honour should take cold from delay), and next day Drummle appeared with a polite little avowal in Estella's hand, that she had had the honour of dancing with him several times. This left me no course but to regret that I had been `betrayed into a warmth which,' and on the whole to repudiate, as untenable, the idea that I was to be found anywhere. Drummle and I then sat snorting at one another for an hour, while the Grove engaged in indiscriminate contradiction, and finally the promotion of good feeling was declared to have gone ahead at an amazing rate.
I tell this lightly, but it was no light thing to me. For, I cannot adequately express what pain it gave me to think that Estella should show any favour to a contemptible, clumsy, sulky booby, so very far below the average. To the present moment, I believe it to have been referable to some pure fire of generosity and disinterestedness in my love for her, that I could not endure the thought of her stooping to that hound. No doubt I should have been miserable whomsoever she had favoured; but a worthier object would have caused me a different kind and degrees of distress.
It was easy for me to find out, and I did soon find out, that Drummle had begun to follow her closely, and that she allowed him to do it. A little while, and he was always in pursuit of her, and he and I crossed one another every day. He held on, in a dull persistent way, and Estella held him on; now with encouragement, now with discouragement, now almost flattering him, now openly despising him, now knowing him very well, now scarcely remembering who he was.
The Spider, as Mr Jaggers had called him, was used to lying in wait, however, and had the patience of his tribe. Added to that, he had a blockhead confidence in his money and in his family greatness, which sometimes did him good service - almost taking the place of concentration and determined purpose. So, the Spider, doggedly watching Estella, outwatched many brighter insects, and would often uncoil himself and drop at the right nick of time.
At a certain Assembly Ball at Richmond (there used to be Assembly Balls at most places then), where Estella had outshone all other beauties, this blundering Drummle so hung about her, and with so much toleration on her part, that I resolved to speak to her concerning him. I took the next opportunity: which was when she was waiting for Mrs Brandley to take her home, and was sitting apart among some flowers, ready to go. I was with her, for I almost always accompanied them to and from such places.
`Are you tired, Estella?'
`Rather, Pip.'
`You should be.'
`Say rather, I should not be; for I have my letter to Satis House to write, before I go to sleep.'
`Recounting to-night's triumph?' said I. `Surely a very poor one, Estella.'
`What do you mean? I didn't know there had been any.'
`Estella,' said I, `do look at that fellow in the corner yonder, who is looking over here at us.'
`Why should I look at him?' returned Estella, with her eyes on me instead. `What is there in that fellow in the corner yonder - to use your words - that I need look at?'
`Indeed, that is the very question I want to ask you,' said I. `For he has been hovering about you all night.'
`Moths, and all sorts of ugly creatures,' replied Estella, with a glance towards him, `hover about a lighted candle. Can the candle help it?'
`No,' I returned; `but cannot the Estella help it?'
`Well!' said she, laughing, after a moment, `perhaps. Yes. Anything you like.'
`But, Estella, do hear me speak. It makes me wretched that you should encourage a man so generally despised as Drummle. You know he is despised.'
`Well?' said she.
`You know he is as ungainly within, as without. A deficient, illtempered, lowering, stupid fellow.'
`Well?' said she.
`You know he has nothing to recommend him but money, and a ridiculous roll of addle-headed predecessors; now, don't you?'
`Well?' said she again; and each time she said it, she opened her lovely eyes the wider.
To overcome the difficulty of getting past that monosyllable, I took it from her, and said, repeating it with emphasis, `Well!Then, that is why it makes me wretched.'
Now, if I could have believed that she favoured Drummle with any idea of making me - me - wretched, I should have been in better heart about it; but in that habitual way of hers, she put me so entirely out of the question, that I could believe nothing of the kind.
`Pip,' said Estella, casting her glance over the room, `don't be foolish about its effect on you. It may have its effect on others, and may be meant to have. It's not worth discussing.'
`Yes it is,' said I, `because I cannot bear that people should say, "she throws away her graces and attractions on a mere boor, the lowest in the crowd."'
`I can bear it,' said Estella.
`Oh! don't be so proud, Estella, and so inflexible.'
`Calls me proud and inflexible in this breath!' said Estella, opening her hands. `And in his last breath reproached me for stooping to a boor!'
`There is no doubt you do,' said I, something hurriedly, `for I have seen you give him looks and smiles this very night, such as you never give to - me.'
`Do you want me then,' said Estella, turning suddenly with a fixed and serious, if not angry, look, `to deceive and entrap you?'
`Do you deceive and entrap him, Estella?'
`Yes, and many others - all of them but you. Here is Mrs Brandley. I'll say no more.'
And now that I have given the one chapter to the theme that so filled my heart, and so often made it ache and ache again, I pass on, unhindered, to the event that had impended over me longer yet; the event that had begun to be prepared for, before I knew that the world held Estella, and in the days when her baby intelligence was receiving its first distortions from Miss Havisham's wasting hands.
In the Eastern story, the heavy slab that was to fall on the bed of state in the flush of conquest was slowly wrought out of the quarry, the tunnel for the rope to hold it in its place was slowly carried through the leagues of rock, the slab was slowly raised and fitted in the roof, the rope was rove to it and slowly taken through the miles of hollow to the great iron ring. All being made ready with much labour, and the hour come, the sultan was aroused in the dead of the night, and the sharpened axe that was to sever the rope from the great iron ring was put into his hand, and he struck with it, and the rope parted and rushed away, and the ceiling fell. So, in my case; all the work, near and afar, that tended to the end, had been accomplished; and in an instant the blow was struck, and the roof of my stronghold dropped upon me.
 
在我离世以后，如果雷溪梦草地附近的那座沉静而又古老的宅邸中经常有鬼魂萦绕出没，那一定就是我的鬼魂了。哦，埃斯苔娜住在那里的时候，有多少日日夜夜，我那躯体内无法平静的灵魂出没于那所古宅啊！我的躯体虽在原地，而我的灵魂却永远围着那所古宅漂泊着、徘徊着，徘徊着、漂泊着。
埃斯苔娜所寄居的那所宅邸里的主妇白朗德莉夫人是一位寡妇，有一个女儿，比埃斯苔娜大几岁。母亲看上去十分年轻，女儿看上去却显得苍老；母亲的面色是白中透红，而女儿的面色却是一片苍白泛黄；母亲轻挑得如红粉佳人，女儿则刻板得似皈依教门。这一家据说社会地位很高，南来北往的宾客纷至沓来，她们也常外出访友。她们和埃斯苔娜之间的情感交往十分淡薄，但她们彼此都心中明白，她们不能没有埃斯苔娜，而埃斯苔娜也不能没有她们。白朗德莉夫人在过她的古屋隐居生活之前，是郝维仙小姐的一位密友。
我进出于白朗德莉夫人的家门，和埃斯苔娜相见，却得忍受着她给我的各式各样、程度不同的折磨。我和她之间的关系表面上十分熟悉、十分亲热，而实际上没有一丝产生爱的痕迹，弄得我神魂颠倒、心烦意乱。我无非成了她的玩物，被当作戏弄那些追求她的男人们的工具，我们之间的亲密无间在她手中却变成了对我真情的蔑视。如果我是她的秘书，是她的管家，是她同父异母或同母异父的兄弟，是她的穷亲戚，或者是她未婚夫的兄弟，我也不可能像现在这样受她戏谑，受她折磨，而万分苦恼。越是和她亲密无间，我也越陷进了失望的深渊。我虽然有如此特权，可以对她直呼其名，她对我也不例外地直呼其名，然而越是处于如此环境，我的痛苦和煎熬越是加重了。我暗暗想，与其说这样使她其他的情人们发疯得心碎肠断，不如说我倒当真被弄得发疯而心碎肠断。
她的情人越来越多，没有个完。无疑，这也许是由于我的忌妒，只要看到有谁接近她，便认定是她的情人。当然，即使除掉这类人，她的爱慕者还是多得难以计数。
我时常到雷溪梦去看望她，时常在伦敦城里听到她的事，时常陪着她和白朗德莉夫人一家在水上荡舟，去野餐，去消度节日，去看戏，去听歌剧，去欣赏音乐会，去参加舞会，去一切可以娱乐的地方，结果我所能得到的却全是不幸，和她相处时，我从来没有一刻是幸福的。一天二十四小时，我无时无刻不在幻想着，如果我能和她生活到白头偕老该有多么幸福。
在我和埃斯苔娜交往的一段时期中（我总觉得这段时期一定很长，从下文中可见端倪），她习惯性地在语气中流露出一种情绪，即我们两人之间的交往不是出于内心，而是出于被逼。在其他一些时候，她的这种语气，以及所有各种语气会突然中断，似乎对我动了怜惜之情。
有一个晚上，暮色正苍茫降临，在雷溪梦古宅的商边，我们两人分开而坐。突然，她就那么突然停止了那种语气，说道：“皮普，皮普，你怎么总是不接受我的劝告呢？”
“什么劝告？”
“当心我。”
“你是不是说要我当心不要被你弄得神魂颠倒，埃斯苔娜，是这样吗？”
“是又怎么样！你要不懂得我的心意，你简直就是个睁眼瞎子。”
我本来想说，爱情都是盲目的，可是却把话停在了嘴边，因为我始终受一种情绪的制约，觉得她本已知道她的婚姻大事由不了自己，只得让郝维仙小姐摆布，而我再这样逼她是太不宽容了。这一点也给我造成了不小的不幸。我内心的担忧是她天生那么高傲，又知道一切情由，要是存心反抗，不仅对我深深不利，而且把我也变成了叛逆的理由。
“无论如何，”我说道，“现在我还没有接到对我的什么劝告，因为我到这里来是你写信让我来的。”
“你说的话倒是真的。”埃斯苔娜说道，脸上露出的毫不关心的冷笑总是使我的心像要结成冰一样。
她凝视着窗外的苍茫暮色，一会儿后继续说道：
“郝维仙小姐要我回沙提斯庄园看望她的日子又临近了。如果你愿意，你得陪我回去，再陪我回来。因为她不让我单身一人旅行，又反对我带女仆同行，因为她对这些人都十分反感，生怕她们窃窃私议。你能不能陪我去呢？”
“埃斯苔娜，我真的能陪你去！”
“那么就答应陪我了？你看就定在后天，行吗？你从我钱袋中拿钱支付一切费用，这就是你陪我去的条件。你听懂了吗？”
“理当服从。”我答道。
这就是她要我陪她重返故里探望的一切准备，当然后来的几次探望也是如此。郝维仙小姐从来没有给我写过一封信，我甚至没有见到过她的手迹。第三天，我们到了沙提斯老屋，见到郝维仙小姐坐在当年的那间屋子中。反正无需多说，沙提斯庄园的一切全是老样子。
上一次我看到她们时，她就可怕地疼爱着埃斯苔娜，这次她对埃斯苔娜的爱更加可怕了。我故意地一再使用可怕这个字眼，因为在她的目光中，和拥抱埃斯苔娜的那种架势中，蓄含着一些可怕的现象。她对埃斯苔娜的美貌，对她的言辞谈吐，对她的形态手势，都像幽灵一样缠住不放。她看着埃斯苔娜时，就会用她那干瘪的嘴咬着自己颤抖的手指，心中盘算着怎样一口把这个亲自栽培的美人吞下去。
她把目光从埃斯苔娜身上移到我身上。这是搜寻的目光，一直透进我的心底，探察着我内心的伤口。她一再问我：“皮普，她怎样利用你的？她怎样利用你的？”她不顾埃斯苔娜正坐在旁边，用女巫式的紧张迫切口吻一再问着。晚上，我们坐在火光闪动的火炉边，她的样子令人怕得毛骨悚然。她把埃斯苔娜的手臂夹在自己的手臂下面，把她的手紧紧捏在自己的手中，然后便硬行要埃斯苔娜把她信中所提到过的那些事再如实说出来，诸如哪一个男人进了她的迷魂阵，他的身份地位如何等等。郝维仙小姐对这批被迷住的男人名单津津乐道，那种专心会神的样子只有受过严重创伤和失却灵魂的人才会有。她坐在那里，用另一只手撑住拐杖，而拐杖又被用来撑住她的下巴。她那一对病态的明亮眼睛盯住我望的神情，简直就像一个幽灵。
所有这一切都使我感到不幸与痛苦，还有个人的依附性所带来的失望，但从中却使我看清，埃斯苔娜作为郝维仙小姐用来报复男人的工具，如果郝维仙小姐没从中得到满足，是不会把埃斯苔娜嫁给我的。我也看出了她为什么要预先把埃斯苔娜许配给我。她把埃斯苔娜送出去勾引男人，折磨男人，对男人进行恶作剧，郝维仙小姐的居心在于如此一来，最终一个男人也得不到她，无论谁想在这上面押宝，便注定了他的失败。从这里我还看出，我自己又何尝没有受到折磨，尽管这个奖赏本属于我，但要得到它还得先经受一番险恶的考验。从中我也看出，我的事之所以好事多磨，是有原因的；我在成年前的监护人之所以不提此项计划的正式内容，也是有原因的。一句话，从中我已经看出此时此地我眼前的郝维仙小姐的为人，以及她一贯的为人。郝维仙小姐原来是一个永远逃避阳光、深居在一所幽暗病态的旧屋里的行尸走肉般的幽灵。
郝维仙小姐房中照明的蜡烛都放在墙壁上凸出的烛台上面，全都离地面很高，发出呆滞迟钝的光，房中的空气和外间隔绝，几乎很难更新。我四周看了看烛光那人为的苍白幽暗的光辉、那已经停摆的钟、那丢在桌上和地上的早已发黄变色的新婚服饰，还有她自己的那副可怕的身影被炉火投到天花板和墙壁上，不仅巨大可怖，而且如鬼魂一般。我从每一件事物上都可以证明在我心中出现过、重复过、思考过的推断。从这里我又想到楼梯平台对面的那间大屋，那里陈设着喜筵桌，从桌子中央饰物上一圈圈的蜘蛛网又想到在桌布上爬来爬去的蜘蛛们，以及在墙壁嵌板后面兴致勃勃地开展活动的老鼠们、在地板上摸来摸去爬爬停停的甲虫们。所有这些东西上都反映着我的推论。
这一次访问中，在埃斯苔娜和郝维仙小姐之间发生了语言上的尖锐冲突。这是我第一次看到她们两人之间的某种对立。
当时我们三人都坐在炉火边，这一点前文业已交待，郝维仙小姐依然用自己的胳膊夹住埃斯苔娜的手臂，依然把埃斯苔娜的手抓在自己的手中，而埃斯苔娜正慢慢地想抽出自己的手臂。她已经几次表现出一种高傲的不耐烦，对于这种热烈的情感与其说是愿意接受或是有所回应，不如说只是容忍而已。
“怎么！”郝维仙小姐说道，“难道你讨厌我不成？”眼光倏地射到她的身上。
“我只不过有些讨厌我自己。”埃斯苔娜一边回答，一边抽出自己的手臂，走到大壁炉跟前，站在那儿看着炉火。
“说老实话，你这个忘恩负义的东西！”郝维仙小姐气得大声喊道，恼怒地用手杖狠命地敲着地板，“你连我也讨厌起来了。”
埃斯苔娜沉着冷静地看了看对方，然后又低头看着炉火。她的优美身姿和俏丽面庞所表现出来的沉着冷漠，和对方那种狂乱的暴躁及几乎接近残酷的行为形成明显的对照。
“你是木头是铁石！”郝维仙小姐大喊道，“你的心是冷酷的，是冷酷的！”
埃斯苔娜依偎在大壁炉架上，保持着一副无动于衷的神态，只是转动了一下她的眼珠，说道：“什么？你骂我是冷酷的？你是这样骂我的吗？”
“难道你不冷酷吗？”郝维仙小姐火冒冒地反问着。
“反正你清楚，”埃斯苔娜说道，“我是你塑造成的。你可以赞美我，可以责备我，可以使我成功，也可以使我失败。总之，你要我怎样我就怎样。”
“唷，看你这样子，看你这样子！”郝维仙小姐伤心地大叫着，“看你这个样子，心肠既狠，又无情义，完全把养育你的家忘掉了！那时候，我正心碎不已、鲜血淋漓，而我却把你抱在我这伤痛的怀里，对你无限柔情，把你养育成人，从不吝惜金钱，你知道吗？”
“你把我领来养育，至少和我并无关系，”埃斯苔娜说道，“即使当时我能说能走，也不过仅仅如此，其他什么也不懂。你要我什么呢？你一直待我很好，我的一切都得感谢你，你还要我什么呢？”
“我要的是爱。”另一位答道。
“我已经给了你爱。”
“我还没有得到你的爱。”郝维仙小姐说道。
“养母，”埃斯苔娜仍旧保持着怡然自得的态度，不像对方那般提高了嗓门，也没有忽而怒气冲天，忽而万般柔情，只是说道，“养母，我已经说过，我的一切都得感谢你，我所有的一切都是你的。凡是你给我的，你随时都可以取回。除此以外，我一无所有。假使你向我索取你从未给过我的东西，尽管我很想感恩，很想尽义务，但那是根本不可能的。”
这时郝维仙小姐把狂乱的目光转向我，指着埃斯苔娜大声嚷道：“难道我没有给过她爱？难道我没有给过火焰一般的爱？我无时无刻不爱她爱到嫉妒不已、心头发痛，而她竟然说这种话！就让她叫我疯子吧，就让她叫我疯子吧！”
“世界上那么多人，怎么会是我要把你叫做疯子呢？”埃斯苔娜反问道，“世界上还有谁比我更了解你的为人和处世呢？世界上还有谁比我更了解你那一成不变的记忆呢？记得那时候，我就坐在这同一个壁炉边，坐在这张现在还在你旁边的小凳上，倾听着你的教导，仰视着你的面容，那时我还感到你的面容古怪，觉得害怕呢！”
“早就忘得干干净净了！”郝维仙小姐呜咽着，“过眼烟云，早就忘得干干净净了！”
“不，一切都不会忘记，”埃斯苔娜说道，“一切都不会忘记，一切都深藏在我的记忆中。你发现过我不听你的教训吗？你发现过我不留心你的教导吗？”她把手放在胸口说道，“凡是你不允许的，你发现过我心中想着它吗？所以，你待我该公正些。”
“你太骄傲了，太骄傲了！”郝维仙小姐用双手散开头上的白发，呻吟般地说着。
“谁教我学会骄傲了？”埃斯苔娜反诘道，“在我学会了骄傲时，又是谁那么连声称赞我的？”
“你太心狠了，太心狠了！”郝维仙小姐又用双手撩开头上散开的白发，呻吟般地说着。
“谁教我学会心狠的？”埃斯苔娜反诘道，“在我学会了心狠时，又是谁那么连声称赞我的？”
“可我是教你对我骄傲，对我心狠吗？”郝维仙小姐因气愤而尖叫起来，伸出两只臂膀，说，“埃斯苔娜，埃斯苔娜，埃斯苔娜啊，你连对我也骄傲、也心狠了！”
埃斯苔娜虽有一点儿诧异，然而却是很平静地看了她一会儿，并没有表现出不安的神情；看了一会儿后，她又低头看着炉火。
沉默之后，埃斯苔娜才抬起眼皮说道：“我真难以想象，分别一个阶段之后，回来看你，你竟如此不讲道理。我可从来都牢记着你曾经有的不幸遭遇，牢记着你那遭遇的原因。我一直遵照你的教导行事，决不辜负你的期望。我用你的教训管束自己，从来没有任何软弱的表现。”
“难道回报我的爱竟是软弱的表现？”郝维仙小姐大声叫道，“我懂了，我明白了，原来你把这点也叫做软弱！”
埃斯苔娜又沉默了一会儿，虽然有些诧异，内心却十分平静，若有所思地说道：“我已开始领悟为什么会产生这种情况了。你在这座宅邸的许多暗不见天日的房间中养育你的养女，不让她知道此间尚有阳光这东西，她也没有在阳光下见过你的面容；然后，你又怀着某种目的，让她经受阳光的洗礼，了解什么是阳光以及阳光下的一切。她按照你的话做了，而你自己却感到失望，感到愤怒，是不是这种情况呢？”
郝维仙小姐双手捧住自己的头，坐在那儿低低呻吟着，身子在椅子上摇摆着，但是没有回答。
埃斯苔娜说道：“也许这个例子更能说明问题——假使从你的养女开始懂事的时候起，你就尽最大的努力告诉她世上有阳光这东西，但阳光是敌人，是毁灭人性的东西，所以要她反对阳光；因为阳光摧残了你使你枯萎，所以阳光也会摧残她使她枯萎。你这么做了，以后却又为了某一个目的要她去见识阳光，而且要她很自然地接触阳光，她一下子当然还不能习惯。如果你见到这点，你会失望会生气吗？”
郝维仙小姐坐着、听着（当然只是说好像如此，因为我看不到她的脸），不过她仍然没有回答。
埃斯苔娜又说道：“所以，你把我造成什么样的人，你就该把我当成什么样的人对待。成功不属于我，失败也不属于我，但成功和失败两者一起就造就了我这样的人。”
我完全不知道郝维仙小姐怎么会已经坐到了地板上，围抱在所有褪色的婚礼服饰之中。我一直想找出一个理由离开这房间，现在总算看到了一个机会，便用手对埃斯苔娜做了一个手势，要她照看郝维仙小姐。我离开时，埃斯苔娜和刚才一样没有动，依然站在大壁炉旁边。当时郝维仙小姐的满头白发都飘散开来，拖在地板上，围抱在另一堆残缺的婚礼饰品中，看上去既狼狈又难看。
我心情郁闷沮丧，独自在星光下散步了一个多小时，走遍了院子，走遍了制酒作坊，也走遍了荒芜的花园。最后我又鼓起勇气回到了房间，看到埃斯苔娜坐在郝维仙小姐的膝边做着针线活儿，在缝补一件快要变成碎布的破旧不堪的婚礼服。此后，只要在大教堂里看到悬挂着的那些褪色破烂的锦幅之类，我便会联想到她的这件婚礼服。接下去，我和埃斯苔娜开始玩牌，像以往一样，所不同的是我们玩牌的本领提高了，而且是法国式的玩法。整个夜晚就是这样消磨掉了，然后我才上床休息。
我睡在院子那边的那所独立的房子里。这是我第一次住在沙提斯庄园里，在床上翻来覆去，就是不能成寐，好像有成千上万个郝维仙小姐在我四周纠缠。她站在枕头这边，又站在枕头那边；她站在床的这头，又站在床的另一头；在盥洗室半开着的门后站着她，盥洗室里面也站着她；楼上的房间中是她，楼下的房间中也是她—— 哪里都有她，她无所不在。漫长的黑夜慢慢地爬到了两点钟时，我觉得无论如何也睡不下去了，只能起身。于是我从床上起来，把衣服披上，走出门，穿过院子，走进一条长长的石头通道，打算绕到外院，在那儿散散步以放松一下。可是我一跨进这通道就把烛光吹熄了，因为我看到郝维仙小姐像鬼魂一般地正沿着通道走着，一面还低低地哭泣着。我远远地跟在她后面，目送她上了楼梯。她手里拿了一支没有托盘的蜡烛，可能是从她房中烛台架上取下的。在微弱的烛光下，她就像从阴间出来的孤魂。我站在楼梯下面，没有看到她开门，却闻到餐室中飘来一阵发霉的气味，听见她在里面走动的声音。她从餐室日到自己的房间，然后又从自己的房间走回餐室，而她低低的哭声从未间断过。等了片刻，我打算从黑暗中走出来，回到自己的房间去，但是却无法办到，一直等到黎明之光射了进来，我才分辨出方向。我留在黑暗中的那段时间，只要一走到楼梯下面，就能听到她的脚步声，看到烛光在高高地移动，并且听到她那无休无止的低低哭泣声。
到第二天我们离开之前，郝维仙小姐和埃斯苔娜之间再没有发生分歧，以后我再陪她回去时也没有再发生过分歧，我记得自那以后我曾四次陪她回去探望。郝维仙小姐对待埃斯苔娜的态度总的没有改变，但我觉得在她对待埃斯苔娜的老态度中略微加入了一些担心。
翻开我的生命史，要不把本特莱•德鲁莫尔写上去是不可能的，否则我是不会愿意提到他的。
一次林中鸟类协会聚会时，像往常一样，说是要促进相互之间的情谊，而且为此正争争吵吵互不相让，弄得不亦乐乎时，林鸟协会的主持人便宣布停止争吵开始开会，先由德鲁莫尔先生为一位小姐祝酒。根据这个协会的严肃章程，这次轮到了这个野兽来主持此项仪式。我觉得我看到他在顺序传下酒瓶时对我恶毒地瞪了一眼，因为我和他早就失和而没有来往了，所以这一瞪眼我也就没有在意。可是他却要大家陪他喝一杯酒，共祝“埃斯苔娜”，这给我的一击使我既恼怒又吃惊。
“哪一位埃斯苔娜？”我问道。
“不用你管。”德鲁莫尔嘲讽地说道。
“住在哪里的埃斯苔娜？”我说道，“你得告诉我她住的地方。”因为作为林鸟协会的成员是有些权利提问的。
“先生们，这位是雷溪梦的埃斯苔娜，”德鲁莫尔说道，并不理睬我，“这是位绝世无双的美人。”
我低声地对赫伯特说，这个卑鄙肮脏的东西，他哪里懂得什么是绝世无双的美人。
祝酒之后，坐在他桌子对面的赫伯特说：“我认识这位小姐。”
“你认识她吗？”德鲁莫尔问道。
“我也认识。”我脸上泛出愤怒的红色，说道。
“你认识？”德鲁莫尔说道，“哦，天啦！”
这就是他唯一的反驳（否则那就是摔酒杯丢盆子了，因为他的本领就是这点），但是，仅仅这一点就已经把我气得发疯，仿佛其中带着刺一样。于是我立刻从我的座位上站了起来，对大家说，我不得不关心这一只可尊敬的鸟竟然轻率地飞人林中（我们总是把加入协会说成飞人林中，真像议会里的用辞一样，那么干净利落，简洁明了），居然为一位他从来不认识的小姐祝酒干杯。听了我的话德鲁莫尔先生忽地站了起来，要我说说究竟是什么意思。于是我便作了一个极端的回答，想决斗，我不会示弱。
在一个基督教的国度里，在如此情况下，是否可以运用不流血的方法解决问题，是一个值得争论的题目，鸟儿们有几种不同的意见。大家辩论得生动活泼，至少有六位可尊敬的协会成员对另外六个成员当场表示，如果他们想决斗，他们不会示弱，一定奉陪。不过，最后协会作出决定，为了维护协会的荣誉，只要德鲁莫尔先生拿出一点儿证据，表示他确实荣幸地认识这位小姐，那么皮普先生，作为一名绅士和会员，就必须向对方道歉，并表示重归于好。当时还指定第二天就得交示证据，以免时间拖延而使事态冷下去。第二天，德鲁莫尔果然带来一张由埃斯苔娜亲笔写的条子，在条子上她十分客气地说明她很荣幸和他跳过几次舞。这一来，我却哑口无言了，只有向他道歉，并表示重归于好，又说我原来的想法已证明是站不住脚的。然后，德鲁莫尔和我坐在那里，哼着鼻子相互对峙了一个小时，林中鸟类俱乐部的成员也胡乱地争论了好久，最后还是从大局出发，宣布这次大家的友情得到了促进，友谊以惊人的速度进展着。
我现在谈到这事是轻描淡写的，可是当时对我说来却决不是如此轻描淡写的。因为我一想到埃斯苔娜竟然对这么一个下贱的、笨拙的、阴沉的蠢才，一个连一般人都比不上的家伙产生好感，内心的痛苦简直不可言表。事到如今，我依然认为，正因为我对于埃斯苔娜的爱是非常纯洁、豁达和毫无私心的，所以一想到她竟然屈就于这条狼狗，我便无法容忍。尽管无论她垂青于何人对我都是沉痛的不幸，但如果她爱的是一位高尚的人，也许会使我在不幸和痛苦的程度上有所不同。
我要把这件事情查清楚并不难，果然很快便弄明白了。其实德鲁莫尔早就紧紧地追求她了，而她也让他追求。没有多久，他更是追着她不放，以致我们两人每天都会相遇。他死心眼儿地坚持着紧追不舍，埃斯苔娜正好也就掌握住他，忽而对他百倍鼓舞，忽而又使他全然失望；忽而当面奉承他几句，忽而又在大庭广众下奚落他；忽而对他很了解，忽而又忘记了他究竟是谁。
贾格斯先生把他称做蜘蛛，看来他真是个蜘蛛，总是偷偷地躲在一处等着，耐心地看准机会捕捉对象。他这个蠢家伙总是相信他的金钱和他家庭的荣誉，固然，有时候这两样东西能够起重要作用，能够代替专一的情感和先决的目的。所以，这只蜘蛛总是在顽强地守住埃斯苔娜，比许多别的光彩夺目的昆虫守得更久。他在那儿吐丝张网，等待时机捕捉对方。
在一次雷溪梦的舞会上（当时在许多地方都时兴开舞会），群芳争艳之中，埃斯苔娜独占鳌头。这个莽撞的德鲁莫尔总是尾随在她左右，而埃斯苔娜却容忍他，这我可受不住了，所以决定找一个机会和她谈一下。我抓住时机，见她正坐在群花之中等待着白朗德莉夫人来带她回家，便走过去，因为几乎总是我陪伴她们出人于这些场合的。
“埃斯苔娜，你疲倦了吗？”
“可不是，很累，皮普。”
“你也应该疲倦了。”
“说真的，现在还不该累呢，睡觉之前我还得给沙提斯庄园写信。”
“报告今晚的凯旋吗？”我说道，“埃斯苔娜，今夜战果平常。”
“你讲的是什么话？我真不懂战果平常是指什么。”
“埃斯苔娜，”我说道，“你看那个站在墙角边的家伙，他正在朝我们望呢。”
“我为什么要看他？”埃斯苔娜反问道，并没有去看他，反而望着我，“你说的那个站在墙角边的家伙为什么我必须看呢？”
“这就是我要问你的话，”我说道，“因为他整个晚上都泡在你旁边。”
埃斯苔娜瞥了他一眼答道：“不过是些灯蛾和丑陋的小虫子，在蜡烛光旁边飞来飞去。蜡烛有什么办法呢？”
“有，”我答道，“蜡烛没有办法，埃斯苔娜难道也没有办法吗？”
“那么！”她停了一会儿才笑道，“也许有办法。随你说吧。”
“可是，埃斯苔娜，你得听我一句话。你和这个最让人瞧不起的德鲁莫尔在一起真使我难过。你知道他是被人们瞧不起的。”
“还有呢？”她问道。
“你看他的内心和外表一样都是奇丑不堪。这简直是一个有缺陷。坏脾气、阴沉沉的笨拙家伙。”
“还有呢？”她问道。
“你看他除了钱和一本可笑的糊涂祖宗家谱可以炫耀自己外，其他一无所有。你知道这点吗？”
“还有呢？”埃斯苔娜又问道。她每问一次，那对可爱的眼睛便睁大一点。
她总是用“还有呢”这三个字回答，我为了要她掏出心里话，便接过她说的话，用强调的语气重复说：“还有呢！也正是这些才使我内心难受。”
如果我认为她垂青于德鲁莫尔是有意用这点来使我——使我难受，那我对此倒也该心安理得地感到些宽慰。问题是她还和过去一样，对我完全置之不理，所以我对此就不能抱有幻想。
“皮普，”埃斯苔娜说道，眼光在屋内搜寻了一遍，“不要傻里傻气地认为这会影响到你。这也许会影响到别人，但那也是没办法可想的。这不值得讨论。”
“我看很值得讨论，”我答道，“因为有一天人们会闲言闲语，‘埃斯苔娜竟然用她的美丽容颜和无限魅力去垂青一个乡巴佬，一个阴沉沉的家伙’。那我如何受得了呢？”
“我却能受得了。”埃斯苔娜答道。
“哦！埃斯苔娜，你可别这样骄傲，可别这样刚愎自用。”
“你责备我骄傲，责备我刚愎自用！”埃斯苔娜把手一摊，说道，“可刚才你还责备我说我俯就一个乡下人！”
“你确实是这样，”我急冲冲地说道，“因为就在今天晚上我看到你对他使眼色，对他陪笑脸，可是你从来没有如此对待过——我。”
埃斯苔娜突然把目光转向我，如果不是愤怒的目光，那也是严肃的目光，紧紧地盯住我，说道：“难道你要我欺骗你，要我引诱你陷入罗网？”
“埃斯苔娜，难道你在欺骗他，要引诱他陷入罗网？”
“当然，而且引诱许多人陷入罗网，引诱除你之外的所有男人。白朗德莉夫人来了，就说到这里为止吧。”
现在我已经用整整一章来叙述了那充满于我心中的主题，曾经使我一次又一次地痛苦的主题。至此，我便可以毫无阻碍地叙述另一件事，那是很久很久以前就已经徘徊于我眼前的事。这件事远在我知道世界上还有一个埃斯苔娜之前，远在埃斯苔娜那婴儿时的智慧受到郝维仙小姐的糟蹋之前，就已经在我心中刻下了深深的阴影。
有一则东方的故事，说是为了用一块沉重的石板在胜利的时候砸碎敌国的宝座，人们在采石矿中慢慢地凿出这块石板，再慢慢地从岩石丛中凿出一道穿绳索的坑道，用绳索扣住石板，然后慢慢地把石板升起来，吊在皇宫宝座的屋顶上，吊住石板的绳索的另一头扣在数英里外的一个大铁环上。一切艰巨的工作都已准备就绪，在一个寂静的黑夜，苏丹王被唤醒，一柄用来割断绳索的利斧交在他的手中。苏丹王挥手一砍，绳索立断，石板直坠而下，砸碎了敌国的宝座。我的情况和此故事一样，一切远远近近该叙述的事情都已接近尾声，准备就绪，只需用利斧一砍，我的坚固堡垒必然坍下压在我身上。
Chapter 39
I WAS three-and-twenty years of age. Not another word had I heard to enlighten me on the subject of my expectations, and my twenty-third birthday was a week gone. We had left Barnard's Inn more than a year, and lived in the Temple. Our chambers were in Garden-court, down by the river. 
Mr Pocket and I had for some time parted company as to our original relations, though we continued on the best terms Notwithstanding my inability to settle to anything - which I hope arose out of the restless and incomplete tenure on which I held my means - I had a taste for reading, and read regularly so many hours a day. That matter of Herbert's was still progressing, and everything with me was as I have brought it down to the close of the last preceding chapter.
Business had taken Herbert on a journey to Marseilles. I was alone, and had a dull sense of being alone. Dispirited and anxious, long hoping that to-morrow or next week would clear my way, and long disappointed, I sadly missed the cheerful face and ready response of my friend.
It was wretched weather; stormy and wet, stormy and wet; and mud, mud, mud, deep in all the streets. Day after day, a vast heavy veil had been driving over London from the East, and it drove still, as if in the East there were an Eternity of cloud and wind. So furious had been the gusts, that high buildings in town had had the lead stripped off their roofs; and in the country, trees had been torn up, and sails of windmills carried away; and gloomy accounts had come in from the coast, of shipwreck and death. Violent blasts of rain had accompanied these rages of wind, and the day just closed as I sat down to read had been the worst of all.
Alterations have been made in that part of the Temple since that time, and it has not now so lonely a character as it had then, nor is it so exposed to the river. We lived at the top of the last house, and the wind rushing up the river shook the house that night, like discharges of cannon, or breakings of a sea. When the rain came with it and dashed against the windows, I thought, raising my eyes to them as they rocked, that I might have fancied myself in a storm-beaten light-house. Occasionally, the smoke came rolling down the chimney as though it could not bear to go out into such a night; and when I set the doors open and looked down the staircase, the staircase lamps were blown out; and when I shaded my face with my hands and looked through the black windows (opening them ever so little, was out of the question in the teeth of such wind and rain) I saw that the lamps in the court were blown out, and that the lamps on the bridges and the shore were shuddering, and that the coal fires in barges on the river were being carried away before the wind like red-hot splashes in the rain.
I read with my watch upon the table, purposing to close my book at eleven o'clock. As I shut it, Saint Paul's, and all the many church-clocks in the City - some leading, some accompanying, some following - struck that hour. The sound was curiously flawed by the wind; and I was listening, and thinking how the wind assailed and tore it, when I heard a footstep on the stair.
What nervous folly made me start, and awfully connect it with the footstep of my dead sister, matters not. It was past in a moment, and I listened again, and heard the footstep stumble in coming on. Remembering then, that the staircase-lights were blown out, I took up my reading-lamp and went out to the stair-head. Whoever was below had stopped on seeing my lamp, for all was quiet.
`There is some one down there, is there not?' I called out, looking down.
`Yes,' said a voice from the darkness beneath.
`What floor do you want?'
`The top. Mr Pip.'
`That is my name. - There is nothing the matter?'
`Nothing the matter,' returned the voice. And the man came on.
I stood with my lamp held out over the stair-rail, and he came slowly within its light. It was a shaded lamp, to shine upon a book, and its circle of light was very contracted; so that he was in it for a mere instant, and then out of it. In the instant, I had seen a face that was strange to me, looking up with an incomprehensible air of being touched and pleased by the sight of me.
Moving the lamp as the man moved, I made out that he was substantially dressed, but roughly; like a voyager by sea. That he had long iron-grey hair. That his age was about sixty. That he was a muscular man, strong on his legs, and that he was browned and hardened by exposure to weather. As he ascended the last stair or two, and the light of my lamp included us both, I saw, with a stupid kind of amazement, that he was holding out both his hands to me.
`Pray what is your business?' I asked him.
`My business?' he repeated, pausing. `Ah! Yes. I will explain my business, by your leave.'
`Do you wish to come in?'
`Yes,' he replied; `I wish to come in, Master.'
I had asked him the question inhospitably enough, for I resented the sort of bright and gratified recognition that still shone in his face. I resented it, because it seemed to imply that he expected me to respond to it. But, I took him into the room I had just left, and, having set the lamp on the table, asked him as civilly as I could, to explain himself.
He looked about him with the strangest air - an air of wondering pleasure, as if he had some part in the things he admired - and he pulled off a rough outer coat, and his hat. Then, I saw that his head was furrowed and bald, and that the long iron-grey hair grew only on its sides. But, I saw nothing that in the least explained him. On the contrary, I saw him next moment, once more holding out both his hands to me.
`What do you mean?' said I, half suspecting him to be mad.
He stopped in his looking at me, and slowly rubbed his right hand over his head. `It's disapinting to a man,' he said, in a coarse broken voice, `arter having looked for'ard so distant, and come so fur; but you're not to blame for that - neither on us is to blame for that. I'll speak in half a minute. Give me half a minute, please.'
He sat down on a chair that stood before the fire, and covered his forehead with his large brown veinous hands. I looked at him attentively then, and recoiled a little from him; but I did not know him.
`There's no one nigh,' said he, looking over his shoulder; `is there?'
`Why do you, a stranger coming into my rooms at this time of the night, ask that question?' said I.
`You're a game one,' he returned, shaking his head at me with a deliberate affection, at once most unintelligible and most exasperating; `I'm glad you've grow'd up, a game one! But don't catch hold of me. You'd be sorry arterwards to have done it.'
I relinquished the intention he had detected, for I knew him!Even yet, I could not recall a single feature, but I knew him! If the wind and the rain had driven away the intervening years, had scattered all the intervening objects, had swept us to the churchyard where we first stood face to face on such different levels, I could not have known my convict more distinctly than I knew him now as he sat in the chair before the fire. No need to take a file from his pocket and show it to me; no need to take the handkerchief from his neck and twist it round his head; no need to hug himself with both his arms, and take a shivering turn across the room, looking back at me for recognition. I knew him before he gave me one of those aids, though, a moment before, I had not been conscious of remotely suspecting his identity.
He came back to where I stood, and again held out both his hands. Not knowing what to do - for, in my astonishment I had lost my self-possession - I reluctantly gave him my hands. He grasped them heartily, raised them to his lips, kissed them, and still held them.
`You acted noble, my boy,' said he. `Noble, Pip! And I have never forgot it!'
At a change in his manner as if he were even going to embrace me, I laid a hand upon his breast and put him away.
`Stay!' said I. `Keep off! If you are grateful to me for what I did when I was a little child, I hope you have shown your gratitude by mending your way of life. If you have come here to thank me, it was not necessary. Still, however you have found me out, there must be something good in the feeling that has brought you here, and I will not repulse you; but surely you must understand that - I--'
My attention was so attracted by the singularity of his fixed look at me, that the words died away on my tongue.
`You was a saying,' he observed, when we had confronted one another in silence, `that surely I must understand. What, surely must I understand?'
`That I cannot wish to renew that chance intercourse with you of long ago, under these different circumstances. I am glad to believe you have repented and recovered yourself. I am glad to tell you so. I am glad that, thinking I deserve to be thanked, you have come to thank me. But our ways are different ways, none the less. You are wet, and you look weary. Will you drink something before you go?'
He had replaced his neckerchief loosely, and had stood, keenly observant of me, biting a long end of it. `I think,' he answered, still with the end at his mouth and still observant of me, `that I will drink (I thank you) afore I go.'
There was a tray ready on a side-table. I brought it to the table near the fire, and asked him what he would have? He touched one of the bottles without looking at it or speaking, and I made him some hot rum-and-water. I tried to keep my hand steady while I did so, but his look at me as he leaned back in his chair with the long draggled end of his neckerchief between his teeth - evidently forgotten - made my hand very difficult to master. When at last I put the glass to him, I saw with amazement that his eyes were full of tears.
Up to this time I had remained standing, not to disguise that I wished him gone. But I was softened by the softened aspect of the man, and felt a touch of reproach. `I hope,' said I, hurriedly putting something into a glass for myself, and drawing a chair to the table, `that you will not think I spoke harshly to you just now. I had no intention of doing it, and I am sorry for it if I did. I wish you well, and happy!'
As I put my glass to my lips, he glanced with surprise at the end of his neckerchief, dropping from his mouth when he opened it, and stretched out his hand. I gave him mine, and then he drank, and drew his sleeve across his eyes and forehead.
`How are you living?' I asked him.
`I've been a sheep-farmer, stock-breeder, other trades besides, away in the new world,' said he: `many a thousand mile of stormy water off from this.'
`I hope you have done well?'
`I've done wonderfully well. There's others went out alonger me as has done well too, but no man has done nigh as well as me. I'm famous for it.'
`I am glad to hear it.'
`I hope to hear you say so, my dear boy.'
Without stopping to try to understand those words or the tone in which they were spoken, I turned off to a point that had just come into my mind.
`Have you ever seen a messenger you once sent to me,' I inquired, `since he undertook that trust?'
`Never set eyes upon him. I warn't likely to it.'
`He came faithfully, and he brought me the two one-pound notes. I was a poor boy then, as you know, and to a poor boy they were a little fortune. But, like you, I have done well since, and you must let me pay them back. You can put them to some other poor boy's use.' I took out my purse.
He watched me as I laid my purse upon the table and opened it, and he watched me as I separated two one-pound notes from its contents. They were clean and new, and I spread them out and handed them over to him. Still watching me, he laid them one upon the other, folded them long-wise, gave them a twist, set fire to them at the lamp, and dropped the ashes into the tray.
`May I make so bold,' he said then, with a smile that was like a frown, and with a frown that was like a smile, `as ask you how you have done well, since you and me was out on them lone shivering marshes?'
`How?'
`Ah!'
He emptied his glass, got up, and stood at the side of the fire, with his heavy brown hand on the mantelshelf. He put a foot up to the bars, to dry and warm it, and the wet boot began to steam; but, he neither looked at it, nor at the fire, but steadily looked at me. It was only now that I began to tremble.
When my lips had parted, and had shaped some words that were without sound, I forced myself to tell him (though I could not do it distinctly), that I had been chosen to succeed to some property.
`Might a mere warmint ask what property?' said he.
I faltered, `I don't know.'
`Might a mere warmint ask whose property?' said he.
I faltered again, `I don't know.'
`Could I make a guess, I wonder,' said the Convict, `at your income since you come of age! As to the first figure now. Five?'
With my heart beating like a heavy hammer of disordered action, I rose out of my chair, and stood with my hand upon the back of it, looking wildly at him.
`Concerning a guardian,' he went on. `There ought to have been some guardian, or such-like, whiles you was a minor. Some lawyer, maybe. As to the first letter of that lawyer's name now. Would it be J?'
All the truth of my position came flashing on me; and its disappointments, dangers, disgraces, consequences of all kinds, rushed in in such a multitude that I was borne down by them and had to struggle for every breath I drew.
`Put it,' he resumed, `as the employer of that lawyer whose name begun with a J, and might be Jaggers - put it as he had come over sea to Portsmouth, and had landed there, and had wanted to come on to you. "However, you have found me out," you says just now. Well! However, did I find you out? Why, I wrote from Portsmouth to a person in London, for particulars of your address. That person's name? Why, Wemmick.'
I could not have spoken one word, though it had been to save my life. I stood, with a hand on the chair-back and a hand on my breast, where I seemed to be suffocating - I stood so, looking wildly at him, until I grasped at the chair, when the room began to surge and turn. He caught me, drew me to the sofa, put me up against the cushions, and bent on one knee before me: bringing the face that I now well remembered, and that I shuddered at, very near to mine.
`Yes, Pip, dear boy, I've made a gentleman on you! It's me wot has done it! I swore that time, sure as ever I earned a guinea, that guinea should go to you. I swore arterwards, sure as ever I spec'lated and got rich, you should get rich. I lived rough, that you should live smooth; I worked hard, that you should be above work. What odds, dear boy? Do I tell it, fur you to feel a obligation? Not a bit. I tell it, fur you to know as that there hunted dunghill dog wot you kep life in, got his head so high that he could make a gentleman - and, Pip, you're him!'
The abhorrence in which I held the man, the dread I had of him, the repugnance with which I shrank from him, could not have been exceeded if he had been some terrible beast.
`Look'ee here, Pip. I'm your second father. You're my son - more to me nor any son. I've put away money, only for you to spend. When I was a hired-out shepherd in a solitary hut, not seeing no faces but faces of sheep till I half forgot wot men's and women's faces wos like, I see yourn. I drops my knife many a time in that hut when I was a eating my dinner or my supper, and I says, "Here's the boy again, a looking at me whiles I eats and drinks!" I see you there a many times, as plain as ever I see you on them misty marshes. "Lord strike me dead!" I says each time - and I goes out in the air to say it under the open heavens - "but wot, if I gets liberty and money, I'll make that boy a gentleman!" And I done it. Why, look at you, dear boy! Look at these here lodgings o'yourn, fit for a lord! A lord? Ah! You shall show money with lords for wagers, and beat' em!'
In his heat and triumph, and in his knowledge that I had been nearly fainting, he did not remark on my reception of all this. It was the one grain of relief I had.
`Look'ee here!' he went on, taking my watch out of my pocket, and turning towards him a ring on my finger, while I recoiled from his touch as if he had been a snake, `a gold 'un and a beauty: that's a gentleman's, I hope! A diamond all set round with rubies; that's a gentleman's, I hope! Look at your linen; fine and beautiful! Look at your clothes; better ain't to be got! And your books too,' turning his eyes round the room, `mounting up, on their shelves, by hundreds! And you read 'em; don't you? I see you'd been a reading of 'em when I come in. Ha, ha, ha! You shall read 'em to me, dear boy! And if they're in foreign languages wot I don't understand, I shall be just as proud as if I did.'
Again he took both my hands and put them to his lips, while my blood ran cold within me.
`Don't you mind talking, Pip,' said he, after again drawing his sleeve over his eyes and forehead, as the click came in his throat which I well remembered - and he was all the more horrible to me that he was so much in earnest; `you can't do better nor keep quiet, dear boy. You ain't looked slowly forward to this as I have; you wosn't prepared for this, as I wos. But didn't you never think it might be me?'
`O no, no, no,' I returned, `Never, never!'
`Well, you see it wos me, and single-handed. Never a soul in it but my own self and Mr Jaggers.'
`Was there no one else?' I asked.
`No,' said he, with a glance of surprise: `who else should there be? And, dear boy, how good looking you have growed! There's bright eyes somewheres - eh? Isn't there bright eyes somewheres, wot you love the thoughts on?'
O Estella, Estella!
`They shall be yourn, dear boy, if money can buy 'em. Not that a gentleman like you, so well set up as you, can't win 'em off of his own game; but money shall back you! Let me finish wot I was a telling you, dear boy. From that there hut and that there hiringout, I got money left me by my master (which died, and had been the same as me), and got my liberty and went for myself. In every single thing I went for, I went for you. "Lord strike a blight upon it," I says, wotever it was I went for, "if it ain't for him!" It all prospered wonderful. As I giv' you to understand just now, I'm famous for it. It was the money left me, and the gains of the first few year wot I sent home to Mr Jaggers - all for you - when he first come arter you, agreeable to my letter.'
O, that he had never come! That he had left me at the forge - far from contented, yet, by comparison happy!
`And then, dear boy, it was a recompense to me, look'ee here, to know in secret that I was making a gentleman. The blood horses of them colonists might fling up the dust over me as I was walking; what do I say? I says to myself, "I'm making a better gentleman nor ever you'll be!" When one of 'em says to another, "He was a convict, a few year ago, and is a ignorant common fellow now, for all he's lucky," what do I say? I says to myself, "If I ain't a gentleman, nor yet ain't got no learning, I'm the owner of such. All on you owns stock and land; which on you owns a brought-up London gentleman?" This was I kep myself a going. And this way I held steady afore my mind that I would for certain come one day and see my boy, and make myself known to him, on his own ground.'
He laid his hand on my shoulder. I shuddered at the thought that for anything I knew, his hand might be stained with blood.
`It warn't easy, Pip, for me to leave them parts, nor yet it warn't safe. But I held to it, and the harder it was, the stronger I held, for I was determined, and my mind firm made up. At last I done it. Dear boy, I done it!'
I tried to collect my thoughts, but I was stunned. Throughout, I had seemed to myself to attend more to the wind and the rain than to him; even now, I could not separate his voice from those voices, though those were loud and his was silent.
`Where will you put me?' he asked, presently. `I must be put somewheres, dear boy.'
`To sleep?' said I.
`Yes. And to sleep long and sound,' he answered; `for I've been sea-tossed and sea-washed, months and months.'
`My friend and companion,' said I, rising from the sofa, `is absent; you must have his room.'
`He won't come back to-morrow; will he?'
`No,' said I, answering almost mechanically, in spite of my utmost efforts; `not to-morrow.'
`Because, look'ee here, dear boy,' he said, dropping his voice, and laying a long finger on my breast in an impressive manner, `caution is necessary.'
`How do you mean? Caution?'
`By G - , it's Death!'
`What's death?'
`I was sent for life. It's death to come back. There's been overmuch coming back of late years, and I should of a certainty be hanged if took.'
Nothing was needed but this; the wretched man, after loading wretched me with his gold and silver chains for years, had risked his life to come to me, and I held it there in my keeping! If I had loved him instead of abhorring him; if I had been attracted to him by the strongest admiration and affection, instead of shrinking from him with the strongest repugnance; it could have been no worse. On the contrary, it would have been better, for his preservation would then have naturally and tenderly addressed my heart.
My first care was to close the shutters, so that no light might be seen from without, and then to close and make fast the doors. While I did so, he stood at the table drinking rum and eating biscuit; and when I saw him thus engaged, I saw my convict on the marshes at his meal again. It almost seemed to me as if he must stoop down presently, to file at his leg.
When I had gone into Herbert's room, and had shut off any other communication between it and the staircase than through the room in which our conversation had been held, I asked him if he would go to bed? He said yes, but asked me for some of my `gentleman's linen' to put on in the morning. I brought it out, and laid it ready for him, and my blood again ran cold when he again took me by both hands to give me good night.
I got away from him, without knowing how I did it, and mended the fire in the room where we had been together, and sat down by it, afraid to go to bed. For an hour or more, I remained too stunned to think; and it was not until I began to think, that I began fully to know how wrecked I was, and how the ship in which I had sailed was gone to pieces.
Miss Havisham's intentions towards me, all a mere dream; Estella not designed for me; I only suffered in Satis House as a convenience, a sting for the greedy relations, a model with a mechanical heart to practise on when no other practice was at hand; those were the first smarts I had. But, sharpest and deepest pain of all - it was for the convict, guilty of I knew not what crimes, and liable to be taken out of those rooms where I sat thinking, and hanged at the Old Bailey door, that I had deserted Joe.
I would not have gone back to Joe now, I would not have gone back to Biddy now, for any consideration: simply, I suppose, because my sense of my own worthless conduct to them was greater than every consideration. No wisdom on earth could have given me the comfort that I should have derived from their simplicity and fidelity; but I could never, never, undo what I had done.
In every rage of wind and rush of rain, I heard pursuers. Twice, I could have sworn there was a knocking and whispering at the outer door. With these fears upon me, I began either to imagine or recall that I had had mysterious warnings of this man's approach. That, for weeks gone by, I had passed faces in the streets which I had thought like his. That, these likenesses had grown more numerous, as he, coming over the sea, had drawn nearer. That, his wicked spirit had somehow sent these messengers to mine, and that now on this stormy night he was as good as his word, and with me.
Crowding up with these reflections came the reflection that I had seen him with my childish eyes to be a desperately violent man; that I had heard that other convict reiterate that he had tried to murder him; that I had seen him down in the ditch tearing and fighting like a wild beast. Out of such remembrances I brought into the light of fire, a half-formed terror that it might not be safe to be shut up there with him in the dead of the wild solitary night. This dilated until it filled the room, and impelled me to take a candle and go in and look at my dreadful burden.
He had rolled a handkerchief round his head, and his face was set and lowering in his sleep. But he was asleep, and quietly too, though he had a pistol lying on the pillow. Assured of this, I softly removed the key to the outside of his door, and turned it on him before I again sat down by the fire. Gradually I slipped from the chair and lay on the floor. When I awoke, without having parted in my sleep with the perception of my wretchedness, the clocks of the Eastward churches were striking five, the candles were wasted out, the fire was dead, and the wind and rain intensified the thick black darkness.
THIS IS THE END OF THE SECOND STAGE OF PIP'S EXPECTATIONS.
 
现在我已经二十三岁了。二十三岁的生日已过去一个星期了，关于我远大前程的遗产问题仍然是一点消息也没有。我们这时搬出巴纳德旅馆也有一年多了，目前住在伦敦古朴典雅的寺区。我们的房子位于花园坊，临近泰晤士河边。
鄱凯特先生和我解除最初订立的师生关系已有一个时期了，不过我们之间仍然保持着良好交往。至于我，目前还没有能力独立处理事务，做些正事，主要是因为我的具体情况还不够明确造成的，我希望一切等安定后再说。但我却有读书的嗜好，每天都要花几个小时读书。关于赫伯特的那件事仍然在进行之中，而我自己的事在前一章的末尾部分已有交待。
由于商务缠身，赫伯特已远赴法国马赛。我这时独自一人，孤苦伶仃，颇感索然无趣。我一心想着明天，或者下周，我的一切都会明朗起来，长期的期望，长期的失望，于是心情颓丧，万般焦虑，有时回想起往日老朋友的欢愉面孔和快乐的交谈，不免自作伤感。
这时天气糟糕透顶，总是刮风下雨、刮风下雨；大街小巷全是泥泞不堪，难以行路。日复一日，伦敦上空总飘浮着从东边来的一层厚厚的乌云，久久不去，好像伦敦东边的天空暗藏着永恒的雨云、永恒的风云。风是那么地狂怒，伦敦一幢幢高楼的屋顶都被它无情地掀去；在伦敦近郊的乡下，一棵棵大树被它连根拔起，一条条风车的叶片被它卷得不知去向；一桩桩令人忧郁的翻船和死人事件不断从海边传来。倾盆的大雨和愤怒的狂风相约携手同行。这一天，正是风雨交加最厉害的一天，人夜时分，我坐在家里读书。
从那时以来，寺区一带的情况已有很大变化，目前已不再如那般显得凄凉，也不再可能有被河水淹没的危险了。然而，当时我们住在最临近河滨的一幢房屋顶层，那天夜晚狂风四处冲击，震动了整座房屋，就像被炮弹袭击或者被浪涛冲击一样。大雨开始劈劈啪啪地敲打着窗户时，我抬起双眼看到窗户在摇晃，觉得自己仿佛正坐在一座被狂风暴雨颠得东倒西歪的灯塔之中。有时，烟囱里的烟无法向黑夜的空中散去，反而又被挤回到烟囱里倒灌进来。我把门打开，向楼梯望去，那儿的灯已被风吹熄。我将双手放在额角上，遮去灯光，从漆黑的窗户向外望去（狂风暴雨的时刻，一点窗缝也不能打开），看到院子里的灯火也被风吹灭了，至于远处桥上的灯。河岸上的灯，也都被风吹得瑟瑟发抖，河上大平底船里的煤火也被一阵狂风吹起万道火星，就好像是一阵红热的雨点。
我把表放在桌上，打算看到十一点钟时合上书去睡觉。等我把书合上时，圣保罗大教堂以及伦敦城的所有教堂里的钟都一个接一个地敲响，有的领头，有的相伴，有的随后响起。在狂风之中，钟声发出奇怪的音响。我静静地听着，思考着风是如何打击着钟声，把钟声撕得破碎不堪。就这时，我听到楼梯上响起了脚步声。
脚步声使我紧张，愚蠢地吓了一跳，恐怖地想着这莫非是我已故姐姐的亡魂，不过这毕竟不值得一提。过了不一会儿，我重又凝神细听，又听到了正在走近的一些跌跌冲冲的脚步声。这时我才想到楼梯上的灯早被狂风吹熄，于是拿起台灯走出房门，来到楼梯口。来人一看到我的灯光一定在下面站住了，此时楼下一点声音也没有。
“楼梯下面有人吗？”我看着下面，大声问道。
“有人。”楼梯下的黑暗之中响起一个人的声音。
“你上哪一层楼？”
“上顶层。我找皮普先生。”
“你找的是我——没有出什么问题吧？”
“没有问题。”下面的声音答道，接着这个人向上走来。
我站在那里，把灯伸在楼梯栏杆之外，那人慢慢地走进灯光之中。这是一盏带罩的台灯，只是用来看书的，照射范围很有限。所以，那人被灯光照着，仅那么一会儿，就又走出了光圈范围。一瞬间，我看到了一张陌生的脸，好像一看到我就显得很高兴，那种仰视我的样子叫我不能理解。
他向前移动着，我也把灯向前移动着。灯光下，我辨别出他穿的衣服质地很好，不过穿得不太讲究，看上去像一位航海家。他头上生着铁灰色的长发，年纪在六十岁上下。他肌肉发达，双腿强壮，皮肤晒得发黑，是个久经风雨、见过世面的人物。他上了最高两级楼梯后，灯光把我们两人都照得很清楚。我看到他伸出两臂准备拥抱我，这使我莫名其妙，惊讶万分。
“请问你有什么事？”我问他。
“我有什么事？”他重复了我的话，停顿了一下，“噢！是的，请原谅，我会告诉你我有什么事。”
“你要到里面坐一下吗？”
“当然，”他答道，“少爷，我要到里面去坐一下。”
我问他这个问题够不讲情面的了，因为我发现他脸上显出好像早就认识我的那种幸福、喜悦的神情，心中就老大不高兴。我之所以不高兴，是因为他的表情暗含着我也该和他一样幸福和喜悦的意思。不过，我把他让进了房间，把台灯放回到原来的位置上，尽量客气地问起他的来意。
他带着惊奇的神情打量了四周的屋子，似乎还有种惊奇的喜悦，仿佛在他所赞叹的东西中有一部分是他的。这时，他脱下了那件不太讲究的外衣，取下了帽子。他的额角上露出深深的皱纹，头顶上是秃的，铁灰色的长发也只生在两边。不过，我一点也看不出他的来意。相反，不一会儿他又一次伸出他的双臂准备拥抱我。
“你这是什么意思？”我说道，心中怀疑他是个疯子。
他垂下了望着我的眼睛，又用右手缓慢地擦着他的头。“这真令人失望，”他用嘶哑、叹息的声音说道，“我盼望了那么久，远道来到这里；不过，这也不能怪你，当然，也不能怪我。我歇一会儿告诉你这是什么意思，对不起，让我歇一会儿。”
他坐在炉火前的一张椅子上，将他那一双大大的棕黑色暴出青筋的手放在前额上。我仔仔细细地瞧着他，不觉退缩了几步；不过，我仍然不认识他。
“这儿没有别人吗？”他回头望了一下，问道，“没有别人吗？”
“你为什么问我这个问题？我不认识你，你在这样的深夜来到这里，来到我的房间，而且还提出如此的问题？”
“你长得真神气，”他说着对我摇晃着头，那样子包含了深情厚谊，但同时又是那么不可理解，使我激怒异常：“我非常高兴看到你长大成人，看到你长得如此神气！可是你不要来逮我，那样做你以后会感到后悔的。”
他已经看出了我的想法，而我也认出了他，同时放弃了逮他的想法。虽然我已回忆不起来他的重要特征，但我认出了他！人世的风雨已经把这悠悠岁月冲洗干净，已经把艰难时世扫荡一空，即使如此，如果再回到童年时的教堂，我们面对面地站在那里，一个大人一个孩子，也不可能比我现在更能清楚地认出他来，这时他正坐在壁炉前的椅子上。不需要他从口袋中掏出那把锉刀来向我证明；不需要他从颈项上取下围巾再扎到头上去；不需要他再用两条手臂紧紧抱住自己的身体在房间中战抖着走来转去，再把头回过来看看我，为了让我认出他。一会儿之前我根本没有怀疑这会是他，而现在用不着他给我任何暗示，我一眼就认出了他。
他走回到我站立的地方，又把双臂伸给我。我不知道该做什么是好，因为这时我在惊慌当中失去了沉着，于是不情愿地把手也伸给他。他满心喜悦地抓住我的手，把我的手送往唇边，吻了吻我的手，却仍然抓住不放。
“我的孩子，你的所作所为是高贵的，”他说道，“高贵的皮普！我一直记着你的所作所为啊！”
这时他的神态一变，仿佛又要过来拥抱我，于是我用一只手抵着他的胸口，把他推开。
“不要这样！”我说道，“离远些！如果你因为我在孩子时为你做过些事要感谢我，我认为你只要改过自新，就表明了你的感谢。如果你来到这里是专门来感谢我，我看这是没有必要的。还有，你已经找到了我，你来到这里是出自你的善意情感，我不能拒你于门外。不过，你必须明白——我——”
他用一种非常奇特的目光盯住我，使我走了神，话到嘴边却说不出了。
我们无言地相互对望着，一会儿后他说：“你说我必须明白，不知我必须明白什么？”
“我现在不希望再和你来往，尽管我们过去有过来往，可是现在的情况已和从前不同。我很高兴，相信你已经改过自新重归正途。我也很高兴，今天能有机会向你表达我的想法。想到自己还值得一谢，我同样高兴你来到这里感谢我。但是，我们两人所走的毕竟是两条不同的道路。你现在身上淋湿了，看上去有倦意，是不是喝杯酒再走呢？”
他解开了脖子上的围巾，站在那里仔细地观察着我，嘴里咬着围巾梢儿。“我想，”他一面咬着围巾的末梢，观察着我，一面答道，“我就喝杯酒再走，谢谢你了。”
茶几上放着盛酒器的盘子，我把盘子搬到壁炉前的一张桌子上，问他要喝什么酒。他用手指着其中的一个酒瓶，既没有看它，又没有说话，于是我便调制了一杯热的兑水朗姆酒。我在调酒时尽量保持平稳，不让手颤抖，可是他靠在椅子上注视着我，围巾的末梢仍然拖在牙齿之间（显然他是忘记了），于是我这只调酒的手也就难以控制了。最后我把酒杯递给他时，看到他的双眼中溢出了热泪，这可使我吃惊不小。
我一直都是站在那里，这无疑是一种不客气的表示，希望他走。可是一看到他那个难过的样子，我也难过了起来，而且感到一种良心上的责备，所以我对他说：“我希望你对我刚才说的那些不客气的话不要见怪才好。”我匆匆地也给自己倒了一杯酒，又拖过一张椅子放在桌边。“我不是存心对你不客气，如果我的话使你难受，我请你原谅。我希望你健康，希望你幸福。”
我把酒杯端向唇边，他把嘴巴一张，那围巾的末梢从他口中掉了下来，他惊奇地看了围巾一眼，向我伸出了手。我把手伸向他，他这才边喝酒，边拉着衣袖擦他的眼睛和额角。
“你怎么生活的？”我问他。
“我放过羊，喂养过牲畜，也干过其他的行当，”他说道，“在很遥远的新世界，要飘洋过海，有几千里远呢。”
“我希望你生意兴隆。”
“我的生意相当兴隆。我们一起去的人中有些也干得挺好，不过没有一个人及得上我好。我好得是出了名的。”
“听你这么说我是太高兴了。”
“我亲爱的孩子，我就希望听到你这么说。”
我并没有考虑他这话的意思，也没有捉摸他说这话的语气，因为我这时心头忽然想到一个问题。
“你是不是曾派过一个人来见我；他给你办过差事以后，你还见过这个人吗？”
“再也没有看到过他，也不可能再见到他。”
“你派的那个人是很诚实的，他来了，带给我两张一镑的钞票。那时，我是一个穷孩子，你知道。两镑钞票对一个穷孩子来讲是一笔财产了。自那以后，我也像你一样，交了好运，现在该还你的钱了，你可以把它再给别的穷孩子。”说着我便掏出钱袋。
他那样注视着我把钱袋放在桌上打开，他那样注视着我从袋中取出两张一镑的钞票。这是两张干净、崭新的钞票，我把票子打开摊子递给了他。他还是那样注视着我，把两张票子叠在一起，对直一折，卷成一卷，放在灯火上点燃，烧成的灰飘落在盘子中。
“我想冒昧地问你一下，”他说时，脸上的微笑好像是紧锁双眉，紧锁的双眉却又像是在微笑，“自从我们在那片令人颤抖的荒凉沼泽地分手以后，你是怎么样交上好运的？”
“怎么交上好运的？”
“是啊！”
他举杯一饮而尽，然后站起身来，立在壁炉旁边，把那只棕色的大手放在壁炉架上，又伸出一只脚搁在炉栅上，既烘靴子，又取暖，他那只湿靴子开始冒出热气。这时他既没有看鞋子，也没有看壁炉，只是一个劲儿地望着我。这个时候我才真的开始发起抖来。
我张开双唇，话虽到嘴边，但没有说出来，后来在不得已的情况下才含含糊糊告诉他，“有人挑选我做继承人，以继承一些财产。’
“像我这样一个小毛毛虫可否请问一下是一些什么财产？’
“我不知道。”我踌躇不定地说。
“像我这样一个小毛毛虫可否请问一下是谁的财产？”他问道。
“我不知道。”我再次踌躇不定地说道。
“我能否斗胆猜一下你成年之后的年收入是多少？”这位逃犯说道，“你看，第一位数字是不是五？”
我的心就像失去控制的铁锤一样，怦怦地乱跳着，我从椅子上跳起来，把手放在椅背上，站在那儿，心神狂乱地看着他。
“和一个监护人有关，”他继续说道，“在你未成年时，应当有一个监护人或者类似的人。他也许是某个律师。这个律师名字的第一个字是不是‘贾’？”
一切疑团的真相就像闪电一样向我扑来；一切的失望、危险、羞耻。各式各样的后果都成群结队地向我冲来；我被这突然的袭击压倒，几乎感到每一次呼吸都困难重重。这时他又继续说道： “就说雇这个由‘贾’起头的律师的这位雇主吧（‘贾’起头的律师就说是贾格斯吧），就说这位雇主飘洋过海来到朴茨茅斯，登陆之后就一心想来看你，而你刚才说‘你已经找到了我’，那么，我是怎么找到你的呢？唔，我从朴茨茅斯写信给伦敦的一个人，他了解你的住址详情。你要知道那个人的名字吗？他就是温米克。”
我这时一句话也说不出来，即使说一句话就能救我的命，我也说不出来。我呆呆地站在那里，一只手扶住椅背，另一只手按在胸脯上，感到透不过气来。我就这么站在那里，像疯人般地望着他，感到房间犹似大海，滔天波浪使我天旋地转，只有紧抓住椅子不放。他过来扶住我，把我扶到沙发上，让我背靠好，他则屈起一条腿跪在我面前，面孔紧紧贴近我的脸。他的面孔是我记得非常清楚的一张面孔，是我一见就会发抖的面孔。
“是的，皮普，亲爱的孩子，我已经把你培养成了一个上流社会的人！是我一手培养了你。我曾经发过誓，我只要赚到一块金币，我就把这块金币用到你身上。后来我又发誓，一旦我时来运转发了财，也就要让你发财。我生活艰苦朴素，但让你享受荣华；我艰苦勤奋地工作，为的是使你脱离劳动的苦海。亲爱的孩子，只要你好，我苦些有什么关系呢？我告诉你不是为求你的感恩，一点也不。我告诉你是让你知道，那条曾经在粪堆上荡来荡去的狗也有今日，他曾经蒙你搭救，如今他昂起了头，还培养了一个上等人。皮普，这培养的上等人就是你啊！”
我对这个人的厌恶，对这个人的恐惧，只想赶忙躲开这个人的反感，即使他是一头凶猛的野兽，也至多不过如此了。
“皮普，听我说，我就是你的第二个父亲，你也就是我的儿子，对我来说，你比我亲生的儿子还更亲。我已经攒下了钱，这些钱都是给你用的。起初我只是被人家雇去放羊，住在一间孤独的小屋子中，什么人的面孔都看不见，只能看到羊的面孔，这使我几乎忘记了男男女女的面孔，但唯独能看到你的面孔。每每在我吃中饭或晚饭时，每每在我放下餐刀时，我便会自动地说：‘瞧这孩子又来了，他正望着我在吃喝呢！’我有多少次看到你啊，就和在那大雾迷漫的沼泽地上见到的你没有两样，每一次我都会走到门外，在一望无际的天空之下，说：‘一旦我获得了人的自由，发了财，我一定把那个孩子造就成一个绅士！要说瞎话，就让天雷劈我！’我果然如愿了。亲爱的孩子，瞧瞧你这样子！看看你住的地方，和贵族住的地方没有两样！贵族有什么了不起？嘿！你有钱可以和贵族比一下，你可以击败他们！”
他滔滔地说着，兴高采烈而且得意洋洋，好在他看得出我几乎要晕倒了，所以并没有怪我没领他的情，这自然也使我松了一口气。
“听我说！”他继续说道。他从我口袋中掏出我的怀表，又转过来看我手指上戴的戒指，而我只有畏缩地后退，仿佛遇到了一条蛇一样。“这是一块金表，一个美丽的东西；我看这够得上一位绅士戴的表。这是一个钻戒，四边镶着红宝石，我看这够得上是一位绅士的钻戒！看你身上穿的亚麻衬衫，质地多好，多漂亮！看你的衣服，再买不到比这更好的了！你还有书，”他用眼睛扫视了一下房间，“在书架上堆得这么高，看来有好几百本吧！你读过这么些书，是吗？我进来的时候，看到你在读书呢。哈，哈，哈！亲爱的孩子，你把书读给我听听啊！即使这些书是用外文写的，我听不懂，但只要我听，我一样会为你骄傲的。”
他又一次把我的双手放到他的嘴唇上，而我身体内流动的血全部变冷了。
“皮普，先不必在意说话。”他说道，并且又用袖子擦了擦他的眼睛和额角，喉咙里又发出那种我记得非常清楚的咯咯声。他讲得越是那么诚心诚意，我心里也就越感到慌里慌张。“你得先把情绪稳定一下，不必干别的。你不像我长期地在盼望这件事的发生；你不像我，你心里还没有任何准备；再说，你根本没有想到培养你的人是我吧？”
“噢，没有，没有，”我答道，“我根本就没有想到。”
“现在你可知道我是谁了吧，就是我一个人，除了我自己和贾格斯先生之外，没有其他人了解真相。”
“真的一个人也没有了吗？”我问道。
“没有，”他惊奇地瞥了我一下，说道，“还会有谁呢？亲爱的孩子，你生得多么英俊！嗯！你看中哪个漂亮眼睛了吗？有没有一个漂亮眼睛被你看中了？”
噢，埃斯苔娜，埃斯苔娜！
“亲爱的孩子，只要能用钱可以换来的，你就可以得到。像你这么一个绅士，又生得如此英俊，再加上有钱做你的后盾，你自会赢得你所需要的。好吧，我再接着刚才讲的说吧，亲爱的孩子。我住在小棚子里给人家放羊，我的东家死了，他的钱便留下了给我，本来他和我是一样出身的人，接着我服刑期满，获得自由，便开始干自己的事。可以说我每干一件事都是为了你。无论我干什么，我都会想到，‘我干事都为他一人，如果我不为他，但愿老天用雷电劈我！’我干的事都一帆风顺。刚才我就告诉过你，我就是这样出了名。东家留给我的钱，加上开始几年我自己赚到的钱，我便都寄回国交给贾格斯先生。他第一次去找你，就是按照我信里所提的要求办的。”
噢，我多么希望当年他没有来找我！我多么希望我一直留在铁匠铺里，虽然得不到满足，可相比之下，倒比现在要幸福得多！
“亲爱的孩子，听我说，只要我在心里暗暗地想起自己正在培养着一位绅士，我就得到了补偿，一切的怨气都消失了。有时我走在路上，那些骑在高头大马身上的移民们气字昂扬地走过，扬起的尘土直冲我的面孔。你知道这时我想什么？我自言自语：‘我正在造就一位你们不能相比的绅士！’他们当中有人对别人说：‘他几年前还是个犯人，现在也是个没有文化的大老粗，不过有了好运气罢了。’你知道我说什么？我自言自语：‘我不是个上流人物，我没有文化，但我却有一个有文化的上流人物。你们有的只是牲畜和田地，可你们中有谁有一个有教养的伦敦绅士呢？’我就是用这样的方式坚持着我的生活。我的心中也是这样存在着一个期望，总有一天我会回去看一看我的孩子，让他知道我才是他的亲人。”
他伸出一只手搁在我的肩膀上。我一想到他这只手说不定染过鲜血，浑身便抖了起来。
“皮普，我离开那个地方是不容易的，不担风险是不行的。不过我是坚持到底，困难愈大，我愈坚强。因为我下定了决心，拿定了主意。最后我终于成功了，亲爱的孩子，我终于成功了！”
虽说我想集中思想，但仍然懵懵懂懂，不知所措。自始至终，与其说我是在倾听他的谈论，不如说我在倾听着风雨交加的声音。直到现在，我还是把他的话音和风雨之声混合在一起，虽然风雨正在大发雷霆，而他的声音早已弦断音绝。
“你准备把我安顿在哪里？”过了片刻他向我问道，“亲爱的孩子，我必须有个地方把自己安顿下来。”
“是睡觉吗？”我说道。
“是啊，要睡一个又足又香的觉，”他答道，“因为我在海上奔波了好几个月，尝够了风吹浪打。”
我从沙发上站起来说道：“我的朋友和同伴正好不在，你就住在他的房中吧。”
“他明天会不会回来呢？”
“不会，”虽然我尽了极大的努力，却仍然只能机械地回答，“明天不会回来。”
“亲爱的孩子，听我说，”他压低了声音，将他的一根长手指抵在我胸口上，带着令人难忘的神情说，“可得小心谨慎啊。”
“小心谨慎？这是什么意思？”
“不小心谨慎就是死！”
“什么死？”
“我是终身流放，要回来就意味着死。近年来逃回来的人太多了，如果我被逮住，我就得上绞架。”
无须多说，这就够了。这位可怜的人多年来用他辛苦铸造起来的金银镣铐把我装饰打扮起来，供给我金钱使用，现在又冒了生命的危险回来看我，把他的一条命交付于我的手上！要是那时我不厌恶他，而是热爱他；要是我不强烈地嫌弃他，想逃避他，而是怀着深情厚谊去赞赏他，敬佩他，和他亲近，那情况就不会那么坏，相反还会好转，因为那样我便会一心一意地、自然而然地关心他的安全。
我当时考虑的第一件事是把百叶窗放下来，使外面看不见房内的灯光，然后把那些门都关好并且拴紧。我在关门时他正坐在桌边饮兑水朗姆酒，吃着饼干。我一看到他的吃相，就想到了当年逃犯在沼泽地上吃东西的情景。在我看来，好像他马上就会低下身子，用锉子去锉腿上的脚镣似的。
我走进赫伯特的卧室，把所有和楼梯相通的门都关好，只开着通向我们刚才谈话的那个房间的门。我问他是不是就准备睡觉，他说就准备睡觉，但请我给他一件我的绅士亚麻衬衫，他准备明天一早起来换上。我便拿出一件给他，并为他放好。这时他又伸出双手，握住我的手，并向我说晚安，所以我的血又一次变得冰冷。
我这才摆脱了他，但不知道自己该怎么办。我先在刚才我们待的那个房中添加了火，然后坐在火炉旁边，不想入睡。我坐在那里有一个多小时，头脑中一片空白，什么东西都想不出。直到最后我才开始想到自己的命运，充分体会到我恶运的开始，我驾驶的人生之舟已撞成了碎片。
所谓郝维仙小姐对我的期望，原来不过是一场梦，她根本就没有把埃斯苔娜许配给我；在沙提斯庄园里我只不过被人当成了可以利用的器具，去刺伤那些贪得无厌的亲戚；在没有人可以当靶子时，我就成为一个活靶子，让人在我这颗没有头脑的心上试一试其本领。所有这些都使我痛苦，但是我最深切的痛苦却是，因为这个逃犯，我竟然抛弃了乔。他究竟犯了什么罪，我一无所知，而他随时都有可能从我这里被逮捕归案，在伦敦中央刑事法院执行绞刑。
现在我再也不能回到乔的身边，再也不能回到毕蒂的身边，即使有千万条理由也都不行。因为我知道我丑恶的心灵所犯下的过错，任何作借口的理由也无法弥补。我从他们那里得到的纯朴和忠诚对我是最大的慰藉，世上再没有别的聪明贤士能比得上他们。可我再想挽回这一损失，却已决不可能，决不可能，决不可能了！
我仿佛听到屋外的阵阵狂风和劈啪雨点之中夹杂着追捕的声音，有两次还真的听到外面有敲门和低低的说话声。我心头堆满了这些恐惧，于是一些想象和追忆都涌向心头，觉得好像出现过一系列的神秘征兆，预言了他的来临。也许是几个星期之前吧，我在街上行走就遇到过不少和他极为相似的人。就在他越过重洋，高英伦海岸越近的时候，和他长得相似的人的数量也就越多。难道是他那邪恶的灵魂把这些信使送到我的身边，最后在这狂风暴雨之夜，果然信守诺言，来到我的身边。
在我脑海之中，这类奇怪的想象一个一个接踵而至、好像我童年时期，他在我幼稚的眼中就是一个不顾死活性格暴烈的人；我曾亲耳听到另一个逃犯在一五一十地数说着他要杀害他的阴谋；我曾亲眼看到他在深深的沟渠中像一头野兽似的和别人扭打战斗着。然后我从这些以往的回忆中又回到了现实，看到火炉的火光之中，仿佛出现了一个极为可怕的影子——在这个狂风暴雨之夜，在这个寂静孤独之夜，在这个夜深人静的时刻，和他住在一起怕是不安全吧。这个可怕的影子渐渐扩大，接着充满了整个房间，使我不得不端起烛台走到里间去查看一下我那可怕的包袱。
他睡在那里，头上扎了一条手帕，面孔显得深沉抑郁。他正沉沉地睡着，静静地睡着，不过在枕旁却放了一把手枪。看到这些我才放心，轻轻地把房门的钥匙取下，插到门外的锁孔中，把他反锁在里面，才又坐回到炉边。我就这样睡去，慢慢地从椅子上滑下，躺在了地板上。在睡梦之中，那些苦痛的事情依然缠住我不放，待我醒来时，东面教堂的钟敲了五响，蜡烛已经燃尽，炉火也早已全熄，屋外的狂风暴雨使得一切更加黑暗了。
皮普远大前程的第二阶段到此结束。
Chapter 40
IT was fortunate for me that I had to take precautions to ensure (so far as I could) the safety of my dreaded visitor; for, this thought pressing on me when I awoke, held other thoughts in a confused concourse at a distance. 
The impossibility of keeping him concealed in the chambers was self-evident. It could not be done, and the attempt to do it would inevitably engender suspicion. True, I had no Avenger in my service now, but I was looked after by an inflammatory old female, assisted by an animated rag-bag whom she called her niece, and to keep a room secret from them would be to invite curiosity and exaggeration. They both had weak eyes, which I had long attributed to their chronically looking in at keyholes, and they were always at hand when not wanted; indeed that was their only reliable quality besides larceny. Not to get up a mystery with these people, I resolved to announce in the morning that my uncle had unexpectedly come from the country.
This course I decided on while I was yet groping about in the darkness for the means of getting a light. Not stumbling on the means after all, I was fain to go out to the adjacent Lodge and get the watchman there to come with his lantern. Now, in groping my way down the black staircase I fell over something, and that something was a man crouching in a corner.
As the man made no answer when I asked him what he did there, but eluded my touch in silence, I ran to the Lodge and urged the watchman to come quickly: telling him of the incident on the way back. The wind being as fierce as ever, we did not care to endanger the light in the lantern by rekindling the extinguished lamps on the staircase, but we examined the staircase from the bottom to the top and found no one there. It then occurred to me as possible that the man might have slipped into my rooms; so, lighting my candle at the watchman's, and leaving him standing at the door, I examined them carefully, including the room in which my dreaded guest lay asleep. All was quiet, and assuredly no other man was in those chambers.
It troubled me that there should have been a lurker on the stairs, on that night of all nights in the year, and I asked the watchman, on the chance of eliciting some hopeful explanation as I handed him a dram at the door, whether he had admitted at his gate any gentleman who had perceptibly been dining out? Yes, he said; at different times of the night, three. One lived in Fountain Court, and the other two lived in the Lane, and he had seen them all go home. Again, the only other man who dwelt in the house of which my chambers formed a part, had been in the country for some weeks; and he certainly had not returned in the night, because we had seen his door with his seal on it as we came up-stairs.
`The night being so bad, sir,' said the watchman, as he gave me back my glass, `uncommon few have come in at my gate. Besides them three gentlemen that I have named, I don't call to mind another since about eleven o'clock, when a stranger asked for you.'
`My uncle,' I muttered. `Yes.'
`You saw him, sir?'
`Yes. Oh yes.'
`Likewise the person with him?'
`Person with him!' I repeated.
`I judged the person to be with him,' returned the watchman. `The person stopped, when he stopped to make inquiry of me, and the person took this way when he took this way.'
`What sort of person?'
The watchman had not particularly noticed; he should say a working person; to the best of his belief, he had a dust-coloured kind of clothes on, under a dark coat. The watchman made more light of the matter than I did, and naturally; not having my reason for attaching weight to it.
When I had got rid of him, which I thought it well to do without prolonging explanations, my mind was much troubled by these two circumstances taken together. Whereas they were easy of innocent solution apart - as, for instance, some diner-out or diner-at-home, who had not gone near this watchman's gate, might have strayed to my staircase and dropped asleep there - and my nameless visitor might have brought some one with him to show him the way - still, joined, they had an ugly look to one as prone to distrust and fear as the changes of a few hours had made me.
I lighted my fire, which burnt with a raw pale flare at that time of the morning, and fell into a doze before it. I seemed to have been dozing a whole night when the clocks struck six. As there was full an hour and a half between me and daylight, I dozed again; now, waking up uneasily, with prolix conversations about nothing, in my ears; now, making thunder of the wind in the chimney; at length, falling off into a profound sleep from which the daylight woke me with a start.
All this time I had never been able to consider my own situation, nor could I do so yet. I had not the power to attend to it. I was greatly dejected and distressed, but in an incoherent wholesale sort of way. As to forming any plan for the future, I could as soon have formed an elephant. When I opened the shutters and looked out at the wet wild morning, all of a leaden hue; when I walked from room to room; when I sat down again shivering, before the fire, waiting for my laundress to appear; I thought how miserable I was, but hardly knew why, or how long I had been so, or on what day of the week I made the reflection, or even who I was that made it.
At last, the old woman and the niece came in - the latter with a head not easily distinguishable from her dusty broom - and testified surprise at sight of me and the fire. To whom I imparted how my uncle had come in the night and was then asleep, and how the breakfast preparations were to be modified accordingly. Then, I washed and dressed while they knocked the furniture about and made a dust; and so, in a sort of dream or sleep-waking, I found myself sitting by the fire again, waiting for - Him - to come to breakfast.
By-and-by, his door opened and he came out. I could not bring myself to bear the sight of him, and I thought he had a worse look by daylight.
`I do not even know,' said I, speaking low as he took his seat at the table, `by what name to call you. I have given out that you are my uncle.'
`That's it, dear boy! Call me uncle.'
`You assumed some name, I suppose, on board ship?'
`Yes, dear boy. I took the name of Provis.'
`Do you mean to keep that name?'
`Why, yes, dear boy, it's as good as another - unless you'd like another.'
`What is your real name?'I asked him in a whisper.
`Magwitch,' he answered, in the same tone; `chrisen'd Abel.'
`What were you brought up to be?'
`A warmint, dear boy.'
He answered quite seriously, and used the word as if it denoted some profession.
`When you came into the Temple last night--' said I, pausing to wonder whether that could really have been last night, which seemed so long ago.
`Yes, dear boy?'
`When you came in at the gate and asked the watchman the way here, had you any one with you?'
`With me? No, dear boy.'
`But there was some one there?'
`I didn't take particular notice,' he said, dubiously, `not knowing the ways of the place. But I think there was a person, too, come in alonger me.'
`Are you known in London?'
`I hope not!' said he, giving his neck a jerk with his forefinger that made me turn hot and sick.
`Were you known in London, once?'
`Not over and above, dear boy. I was in the provinces mostly.'
`Were you - tried - in London?'
`Which time?' said he, with a sharp look.
`The last time.'
He nodded. `First knowed Mr Jaggers that way. Jaggers was for me.'
It was on my lips to ask him what he was tried for, but he took up a knife, gave it a flourish, and with the words, `And what I done is worked out and paid for!' fell to at his breakfast.
He ate in a ravenous way that was very disagreeable, and all his actions were uncouth, noisy, and greedy. Some of his teeth had failed him since I saw him eat on the marshes, and as he turned his food in his mouth, and turned his head sideways to bring his strongest fangs to bear upon, he looked terribly like a hungry old dog. If I had begun with any appetite, he would have taken it away, and I should have sat much as I did - repelled from him by an insurmountable aversion, and gloomily looking at the cloth.
`I'm a heavy grubber, dear boy,' he said, as a polite kind of apology when he made an end of his meal, `but I always was. If it had been in my constitution to be a lighter grubber, I might ha' got into lighter trouble. Similarly, I must have my smoke. When I was first hired out as shepherd t'other side the world, it's my belief I should ha' turned into a molloncolly-mad sheep myself, if I hadn't a had my smoke.'
As he said so, he got up from table, and putting his hand into the breast of the pea-coat he wore, brought out a short black pipe, and a handful of loose tobacco of the kind that is called Negro-head. Having filled his pipe, he put the surplus tobacco back again, as if his pocket were a drawer. Then, he took a live coal from the fire with the tongs, and lighted his pipe at it, and then turned round on the hearth-rug with his back to the fire, and went through his favourite action of holding out both his hands for mine.
`And this,' said he, dandling my hands up and down in his, as he puffed at his pipe; `and this is the gentleman what I made! The real genuine One! It does me good fur to look at you, Pip. All I stip'late, is, to stand by and look at you, dear boy!'
I released my hands as soon as I could, and found that I was beginning slowly to settle down to the contemplation of my condition. What I was chained to, and how heavily, became intelligible to me, as I heard his hoarse voice, and sat looking up at his furrowed bald head with its iron grey hair at the sides.
`I mustn't see my gentleman a footing it in the mire of the streets; there mustn't be no mud on his boots. My gentleman must have horses, Pip! Horses to ride, and horses to drive, and horses for his servant to ride and drive as well. Shall colonists have their horses (and blood 'uns, if you please, good Lord!) and not my London gentleman? No, no. We'll show 'em another pair of shoes than that, Pip; won't us?'
He took out of his pocket a great thick pocket-book, bursting with papers, and tossed it on the table.
`There's something worth spending in that there book, dear boy. It's yourn. All I've got ain't mine; it's yourn. Don't you be afeerd on it. There's more where that come from. I've come to the old country fur to see my gentleman spend his money like a gentleman. That'll be my pleasure. My pleasure 'ull be fur to see him do it. And blast you all!' he wound up, looking round the room and snapping his fingers once with a loud snap, `blast you every one, from the judge in his wig, to the colonist a stirring up the dust, I'll show a better gentleman than the whole kit on you put together!'
`Stop!' said I, almost in a frenzy of fear and dislike, `I want to speak to you. I want to know what is to be done. I want to know how you are to be kept out of danger, how long you are going to stay, what projects you have.'
`Look'ee here, Pip,' said he, laying his hand on my arm in a suddenly altered and subdued manner; `first of all, look'ee here. I forgot myself half a minute ago. What I said was low; that's what it was; low. Look'ee here, Pip. Look over it. I ain't a going to be low.'
`First, ' I resumed, half-groaning, `what precautions can be taken against your being recognized and seized?'
`No, dear boy,' he said, in the same tone as before, `that don't go first. Lowness goes first. I ain't took so many year to make a gentleman, not without knowing what's due to him. Look'ee here, Pip. I was low; that's what I was; low. Look over it, dear boy.'
Some sense of the grimly-ludicrous moved me to a fretful laugh, as I replied, `I have looked over it. In Heaven's name, don't harp upon it!'
`Yes, but look'ee here,' he persisted. `Dear boy, I ain't come so fur, not fur to be low. Now, go on, dear boy. You was a saying--'
`How are you to be guarded from the danger you have incurred?'
`Well, dear boy, the danger ain't so great. Without I was informed agen, the danger ain't so much to signify. There's Jaggers, and there's Wemmick, and there's you. Who else is there to inform?'
`Is there no chance person who might identify you in the street?' said I.
`Well,' he returned, `there ain't many. Nor yet I don't intend to advertise myself in the newspapers by the name of A. M. come back from Botany Bay; and years have rolled away, and who's to gain by it? Still, look'ee here, Pip. If the danger had been fifty times as great, I should ha' come to see you, mind you, just the same.'
`And how long do you remain?'
`How long?' said he, taking his black pipe from his mouth, and dropping his jaw as he stared at me. `I'm not a going back. I've come for good.'
`Where are you to live?' said I. `What is to be done with you? Where will you be safe?'
`Dear boy,' he returned, `there's disguising wigs can be bought for money, and there's hair powder, and spectacles, and black clothes - shorts and what not. Others has done it safe afore, and what others has done afore, others can do agen. As to the where and how of living, dear boy, give me your own opinions on it.'
`You take it smoothly now,' said I, `but you were very serious last night, when you swore it was Death.'
`And so I swear it is Death,' said he, putting his pipe back in his mouth, `and Death by the rope, in the open street not fur from this, and it's serious that you should fully understand it to be so. What then, when that's once done? Here I am. To go back now, 'ud be as bad as to stand ground - worse. Besides, Pip, I'm here, because I've meant it by you, years and years. As to what I dare, I'm a old bird now, as has dared all manner of traps since first he was fledged, and I'm not afeerd to perch upon a scarecrow. If there's Death hid inside of it, there is, and let him come out, and I'll face him, and then I'll believe in him and not afore. And now let me have a look at my gentleman agen.'
Once more, he took me by both hands and surveyed me with an air of admiring proprietorship: smoking with great complacency all the while.
It appeared to me that I could do no better than secure him some quiet lodging hard by, of which he might take possession when Herbert returned: whom I expected in two or three days. That the secret must be confided to Herbert as a matter of unavoidable necessity, even if I could have put the immense relief I should derive from sharing it with him out of the question, was plain to me. But it was by no means so plain to Mr Provis (I resolved to call him by that name), who reserved his consent to Herbert's participation until he should have seen him and formed a favourable judgment of his physiognomy. `And even then, dear boy,' said he, pulling a greasy little clasped black Testament out of his pocket, `we'll have him on his oath.'
To state that my terrible patron carried this little black book about the world solely to swear people on in cases of emergency, would be to state what I never quite established - but this I can say, that I never knew him put it to any other use. The book itself had the appearance of having been stolen from some court of justice, and perhaps his knowledge of its antecedents, combined with his own experience in that wise, gave him a reliance on its powers as a sort of legal spell or charm. On this first occasion of his producing it, I recalled how he had made me swear fidelity in the churchyard long ago, and how he had described himself last night as always swearing to his resolutions in his solitude.
As he was at present dressed in a seafaring slop suit, in which he looked as if he had some parrots and cigars to dispose of, I next discussed with him what dress he should wear. He cherished an extraordinary belief in the virtues of `shorts' as a disguise, and had in his own mind sketched a dress for himself that would have made him something between a dean and a dentist. It was with considerable difficulty that I won him over to the assumption of a dress more like a prosperous farmer's; and we arranged that he should cut his hair close, and wear a little powder. Lastly, as he had not yet been seen by the laundress or her niece, he was to keep himself out of their view until his change of dress was made.
It would seem a simple matter to decide on these precautions; but in my dazed, not to say distracted, state, it took so long, that I did not get out to further them, until two or three in the afternoon. He was to remain shut up in the chambers while I was gone, and was on no account to open the door.
There being to my knowledge a respectable lodging-house in Essex-street, the back of which looked into the Temple, and was almost within hail of my windows, I first of all repaired to that house, and was so fortunate as to secure the second floor for my uncle, Mr Provis. I then went from shop to shop, making such purchases as were necessary to the change in his appearance. This business transacted, I turned my face, on my own account, to Little Britain. Mr Jaggers was at his desk, but, seeing me enter, got up immediately and stood before his fire.
`Now, Pip,' said he, `be careful.'
`I will, sir,' I returned. For, coming along I had thought well of what I was going to say.
`Don't commit yourself,' said Mr Jaggers, `and don't commit any one. You understand - any one. Don't tell me anything: I don't want to know anything; I am not curious.'
Of course I saw that he knew the man was come.
`I merely want, Mr Jaggers,' said I, `to assure myself that what I have been told, is true. I have no hope of its being untrue, but at least I may verify it.'
Mr Jaggers nodded. `But did you say "told" or "informed"?' he asked me, with his head on one side, and not looking at me, but looking in a listening way at the floor. `Told would seem to imply verbal communication. You can't have verbal communication with a man in New South Wales, you know.'
`I will say, informed, Mr Jaggers.'
`Good.'
`I have been informed by a person named Abel Magwitch, that he is the benefactor so long unknown to me.'
`That is the man,' said Mr Jaggers, ` - in New South Wales.'
`And only he?' said I.
`And only he,' said Mr Jaggers.
`I am not so unreasonable, sir, as to think you at all responsible for my mistakes and wrong conclusions; but I always supposed it was Miss Havisham.'
`As you say, Pip,' returned Mr Jaggers, turning his eyes upon me coolly, and taking a bite at his forefinger, `I am not at all responsible for that.'
`And yet it looked so like it, sir,' I pleaded with a downcast heart.
`Not a particle of evidence, Pip,' said Mr Jaggers, shaking his head and gathering up his skirts. `Take nothing on its looks; take everything on evidence. There's no better rule.'
`I have no more to say,' said I, with a sigh, after standing silent for a little while. `I have verified my information, and there's an end.'
`And Magwitch - in New South Wales - having at last disclosed himself,' said Mr Jaggers, `you will comprehend, Pip, how rigidly throughout my communication with you, I have always adhered to the strict line of fact. There has never been the least departure from the strict line of fact. You are quite aware of that?'
`Quite, sir.'
`I communicated to Magwitch - in New South Wales - when he first wrote to me - from New South Wales - the caution that he must not expect me ever to deviate from the strict line of fact. I also communicated to him another caution. He appeared to me to have obscurely hinted in his letter at some distant idea he had of seeing you in England here. I cautioned him that I must hear no more of that; that he was not at all likely to obtain a pardon; that he was expatriated for the term of his natural life; and that his presenting himself in this country would be an act of felony, rendering him liable to the extreme penalty of the law. I gave Magwitch that caution,' said Mr Jaggers, looking hard at me; `I wrote it to New South Wales. He guided himself by it, no doubt.'
`No doubt,' said I.
`I have been informed by Wemmick,' pursued Mr Jaggers, still looking hard at me, `that he has received a letter, under date Portsmouth, from a colonist of the name of Purvis, or--'
`Or Provis,' I suggested.
`Or Provis - thank you, Pip. Perhaps it is Provis? Perhaps you know it's Provis?'
`Yes,' said I.
`You know it's Provis. A letter, under date Portsmouth, from a colonist of the name of Provis, asking for the particulars of your address, on behalf of Magwitch. Wemmick sent him the particulars, I understand, by return of post. Probably it is through Provis that you have received the explanation of Magwitch - in New South Wales?'
`It came through Provis,' I replied.
`Good day, Pip,' said Mr Jaggers, offering his hand; `glad to have seen you. In writing by post to Magwitch - in New South Wales - or in communicating with him through Provis, have the goodness to mention that the particulars and vouchers of our long account shall be sent to you, together with the balance; for there is still a balance remaining. Good day, Pip!'
We shook hands, and he looked hard at me as long as he could see me. I turned at the door, and he was still looking hard at me, while the two vile casts on the shelf seemed to be trying to get their eyelids open, and to force out of their swollen throats, `O, what a man he is!'
Wemmick was out, and though he had been at his desk he could have done nothing for me. I went straight back to the Temple, where I found the terrible Provis drinking rum-and-water and smoking negro-head, in safety.
Next day the clothes I had ordered, all came home, and he put them on. Whatever he put on, became him less (it dismally seemed to me) than what he had worn before. To my thinking, there was something in him that made it hopeless to attempt to disguise him. The more I dressed him and the better I dressed him, the more he looked like the slouching fugitive on the marshes. This effect on my anxious fancy was partly referable, no doubt, to his old face and manner growing more familiar to me; but I believe too that he dragged one of his legs as if there were still a weight of iron on it, and that from head to foot there was Convict in the very grain of the man.
The influences of his solitary hut-life were upon him besides, and gave him a savage air that no dress could tame; added to these, were the influences of his subsequent branded life among men, and, crowing all, his consciousness that he was dodging and hiding now. In all his ways of sitting and standing, and eating and drinking - of brooding about, in a high-shouldered reluctant style - of taking out his great horn-handled jack-knife and wiping it on his legs and cutting his food - of lifting light glasses and cups to his lips, as if they were clumsy pannikins - of chopping a wedge off his bread, and soaking up with it the last fragments of gravy round and round his plate, as if to make the most of an allowance, and then drying his finger-ends on it, and then swallowing it - in these ways and a thousand other small nameless instances arising every minute in the day, there was Prisoner, Felon, Bondsman, plain as plain could be.
It had been his own idea to wear that touch of powder, and I had conceded the powder after overcoming the shorts. But I can compare the effect of it, when on, to nothing but the probable effect of rouge upon the dead; so awful was the manner in which everything in him that it was most desirable to repress, started through that thin layer of pretence, and seemed to come blazing out at the crown of his head. It was abandoned as soon as tried, and he wore his grizzled hair cut short.
Words cannot tell what a sense I had, at the same time, of the dreadful mystery that he was to me. When he fell asleep of an evening, with his knotted hands clenching the sides of the easy-chair, and his bald head tattooed with deep wrinkles falling forward on his breast, I would sit and look at him, wondering what he had done, and loading him with all the crimes in the Calendar, until the impulse was powerful on me to start up and fly from him. Every hour so increased my abhorrence of him, that I even think I might have yielded to this impulse in the first agonies of being so haunted, notwithstanding all he had done for me, and the risk he ran, but for the knowledge that Herbert must soon come back. Once, I actually did start out of bed in the night, and begin to dress myself in my worst clothes, hurriedly intending to leave him there with everything else I possessed, and enlist for India as a private soldier.
I doubt if a ghost could have been more terrible to me, up in those lonely rooms in the long evenings and long nights, with the wind and the rain always rushing by. A ghost could not have been taken and hanged on my account, and the consideration that he could be, and the dread that he would be, were no small addition to my horrors. When he was not asleep, or playing a complicated kind of patience with a ragged pack of cards of his own - a game that I never saw before or since, and in which he recorded his winnings by sticking his jack-knife into the table - when he was not engaged in either of these pursuits, he would ask me to read to him - `Foreign language, dear boy!' While I complied, he, not comprehending a single word, would stand before the fire surveying me with the air of an Exhibitor, and I would see him, between the fingers of the hand with which I shaded my face, appealing in dumb show to the furniture to take notice of my proficiency. The imaginary student pursued by the misshapen creature he had impiously made, was not more wretched than I, pursued by the creature who had made me, and recoiling from him with a stronger repulsion, the more he admired me and the fonder he was of me.
This is written of, I am sensible, as if it had lasted a year. It lasted about five days. Expecting Herbert all the time, I dared not go out, except when I took Provis for an airing after dark. At length, one evening when dinner was over and I had dropped into a slumber quite worn out - for my nights had been agitated and my rest broken by fearful dreams - I was roused by the welcome footstep on the staircase. Provis, who had been asleep too, staggered up at the noise I made, and in an instant I saw his jack-knife shining in his hand.
`Quiet! It's Herbert!' I said; and Herbert came bursting in, with the airy freshness of six hundred miles of France upon him.
`Handel, my dear fellow, how are you, and again how are you, and again how are you? I seem to have been gone a twelvemonth!Why, so I must have been, for you have grown quite thin and pale!Handel, my - Halloa! I beg your pardon.'
He was stopped in his running on and in his shaking hands with me, by seeing Provis. Provis, regarding him with a fixed attention, was slowly putting up his jack-knife, and groping in another pocket for something else.
`Herbert, my dear friend,' said I, shutting the double doors, while Herbert stood staring and wondering, `something very strange has happened. This is - a visitor of mine.'
`It's all right, dear boy!' said Provis coming forward, with his little clasped black book, and then addressing himself to Herbert. `Take it in your right hand. Lord strike you dead on the spot, if ever you split in any way sumever! Kiss it!'
`Do so, as he wishes it,' I said to Herbert. So, Herbert, looking at me with a friendly uneasiness and amazement, complied, and Provis immediately shaking hands with him, said, `Now you're on your oath, you know. And never believe me on mine, if Pip shan't make a gentleman on you!'
 
从睡梦中醒来，我便想到对这位可怕的不速之客得采取防护措施，要尽全力保证他的安全。幸运的是，这样一来，我心中一切其他扰乱心灵的思想都统统消失了。
如果把他藏在这些房间中，那显然是不可能的。不仅不可能这样做，而且这样做将会不可避免地引起人们的猜疑。虽说我已解雇了那个讨债鬼，不过现在又找了个红眼睛的老妈子来帮忙，她还带来一个活泼机灵的脏女孩，做她的助手，据她说是她的侄女儿。要是关上一间房间瞒着她们，只有更引起她们的好奇，让她们风风火火、加油添酱地传播出去。她们两人眼睛都不好，我一直认为是她们长期以来喜欢从钥匙孔中偷看并探听秘密造成的；需要她们时找不见人，不需要她们时却偏偏在你面前转。可以说，除了小偷小摸外，这就是她们唯一可确定的品质。为了不引起这些人的疑心，我决定于早晨向她们宣布，我的伯父突然从乡下来到这里。
既已下定决心这么办，我便在黑暗中摸索着，想先弄个火把灯点亮。踉踉跄跄地摸来摸去都没有，我便想摸出去到邻近的门房中，找那个守夜人拿灯笼来照一下。我正在黑暗中向楼梯下面摸索时，绊在了一个东西上，其实这不是什么东西，而是蹲在角落里的一个人。
我问他蹲在这儿干什么，可是他没有回答，却悄悄地一溜烟逃了。我连忙跑到门房，一再请守夜人快些出来，我在回来的路上把刚才发生的事告诉了他。这时风像刚才一样依然很猛烈，我们生怕风吹灭灯笼，所以也没有来得及把楼梯上早已吹灭的路灯重新燃起，但检查了楼梯的上上下下，一个人影儿也没有发现。我忽然想到，这个人说不定已经溜进了我的房间，于是用守夜人的灯笼先点亮了蜡烛，把他留在门口看着，我自己仔细检查了每一个房间，包括我那位可怕的客人睡觉的房间。一切都那么安静，可以肯定，这些房间里不会有外人。
我心头可真有些着急，一定有密探来过，为什么偏巧在一年三百六十五天的这个夜里来呢？我便询问这位守夜人，乘他站在门口时递给他一杯酒，想从他那里得到一点有希望的线索。我问他昨天夜里是不是放进了一些出外饮酒回来很迟的人。他说是的，夜里曾分别有三个人进来。一个住在泉水坊，另外两人住在巷子里，而且他亲眼看到他们都回了自己的家。在我住的这幢房子里，除我们外，另外住的唯一的房客已经回到乡下去几个星期了，这个夜里他确实没有回来，因为我们在上楼时看到他门上还贴着封条。
“先生，这个夜里风雨交加，糟透了，”守夜人饮完酒把杯子还给我说道，“所以经过我的门进出的人不多。除掉我刚才指出的三个人外，在十一点钟左右的时候还有个不认识的人找你，再有没有别人来过我就记不起来了。”
“哦，那是我的伯父。”我喃喃地说着。
“先生，你见到他了吗？”
“见到了，唔！见到了。”
“还有一个和他一道的呢？”
“和他一道的？”我重复着他说的话。
“我想这个人和他是一道的，”守夜人说道，“在找你的人停下来问我的时候，那个人也停了下来；找你的人向这里走时，他也跟着向这里走。”
“这是个什么样的人？”
守夜人没有仔细地看清这个人。他说，看上去像是个工人；他想，穿的是灰色衣眼，外罩一件黑大衣。这位守夜人不像我那样很重视这个人。他觉得没有什么关系，这是很自然的事；而我重视这个人也有我重视的理由。
我想最好不要再向他打探情况，于是便打发他先走。然后，我便把这两方面的情况连在一起考虑，心中感到有些蹊跷而十分不安。本来这两件事都不难解决，而且互无关联——比如说，有某个人在别人家或自己家里喝得醉醺醺的，本来就没有从守夜人的门口经过，便跌跌冲冲地走到我的楼梯这里，倒下睡着了；而我这位尚不知名姓的客人确带了一个人来，是专门给他引路的。但这两件事连在一起，对于我这么一个在几小时之内经历很大变化的人来说，就不得不感到情况险恶，产生怀疑和恐惧。
我生起了炉火，炉火在如此的清晨发出阴冷苍白的光，我坐在炉前悠悠地打起瞌睡来。钟敲六下时，我感觉好像已经睡了整整一夜。时间尚早，离天明还需一个半小时，于是我又闭眼入眠。这次我却不时地惊醒，一会儿耳中听到有人绵绵絮语些无关紧要之事，一会儿又听到壁炉管道中响起雷鸣般的风声。最后总算进入沉沉酣睡，直到天空大亮，我才从熟睡中惊醒。
整个这一段时间我都没有安下心来考虑一下自己的处境，目前也不可能考虑。我无法把注意力集中到这方面来。我感到意志非常沮丧，万分苦恼，而且感到心都被撕裂得支离破碎。至于我的未来会是什么样，则好像瞎子摸象一样，毫无头绪。我把百叶窗打开，向外望去，只见早晨一片潮湿，仍然是狂风暴雨，整个天空呈现出铅灰色。我从这个房间走到另一个房间，然后又坐在火炉的前面，全身冷得抖抖的，等待着洗衣妇来取衣服。我想着自己是多么地不幸，可是却说不出为什么不幸，也说不出这不幸究竟有多久了，更说不出究竟在这星期的哪一天我才有这个想法的，甚至连我究竟是谁也说不出。
终于，老太婆和她的侄女儿进来了（侄女儿的一头蓬发和她手中拿的脏扫帚简直叫人难以分辨），看到我以及我旁边生起的炉火大为惊诧。我告诉她们我的伯父于昨天夜里来此，现在正在睡觉，因此早餐要准备得好一些，如此等等。然后，我去洗漱换衣，而留下她们在房里敲敲打打，弄得满屋子灰尘。我一切完毕后感到昏头昏脑，像个梦游病人一样，便又坐到火炉边，等待着那位出来共进早餐。
过了一会儿，他的房门开了，他从里面走了出来。我简直不能忍受他那样子，觉得他的面目在白天看上去更难看。
他坐到桌旁后，我低低地对他说道：“我不知道该怎么称呼你才好。我已经放风出去，说你是我的伯父。”
“这就对了，亲爱的孩子！你就叫我伯父好了。”
“我想你一路飘洋过海，肯定也有个名字吧？”
“有，亲爱的孩子。我用的名字是普鲁威斯。”
“你是说以后一直用这个名字吗？”
“喔，是的，亲爱的孩子，用什么名字事实上都一样，除非你认为该用一个更好的。”
“你的真实姓名是什么呢？”我用低低的声音问他。
“马格韦契，”他也用低低的声音对我说，“教名是艾伯尔。”
“你原来是做什么的？”
“只不过是个小毛虫而已，亲爱的孩子。”
他的回答是十分严肃认真的，所用的字眼好像也是指某种职业。
“昨天晚上你来到寺区的时候——”我说道，不过说着又停下来心想，这难道真的是昨天晚上吗？这似乎是很久以前的事了。
“怎么了，亲爱的孩子？”
“昨天晚上你来到这里的大门口，问守夜人怎么走时，有没有人和你在一起？”
“有谁和我在一起？没有，亲爱的孩子。”
“你没有注意到有人在门口吗？”
“我没有特别注意，”他有些疑惑地说，“我对这里的路很不熟悉，不过，我想当时是有一个人和我一起走进来。”
“伦敦有人认识你吗？”
“我希望没有人认识我。”他说着，用食指在自己的脖子上一抹，使我看了既恼火又恶心。
“以前伦敦有认识你的人吗？”
“亲爱的孩子，那不会很多，我大部分时间都在乡下。”
“你是在伦敦受——审——的吗？”
“你说的是哪一次？”他说道，脸上露出机警的神色。
“最近一次。”
他点点头。“就是那一次我和贾格斯先生相识了。贾格斯是我的辩护人。”
我想问他为了什么受审，话刚到嘴边，他便拿起餐刀在空中一挥，并且说道：“我过去所做的都已得到惩罚，一切都已偿还！”然后继续吃他的早饭。
他狼吞虎咽地吃着，吃相实在不敢恭维，整个行为表现得都很粗鲁，吃东西的响声很大，而且一副贪婪的样子。自从在沼泽地上见到他吃东西以来，他已掉了几颗牙齿，因而总是用嘴巴磨动着食物，把头斜在一边，尽量用他的几颗犬牙在啃食物，样子极为可怕，就像一条饥饿的老狗。
如果说我本来很想吃些东西，这下子胃口全被他倒光了。我只是坐在那里，对他产生了一种难以克制的厌恶，忧郁而又失望地打量着桌布。
“亲爱的孩子，我算得上是一个厉害的吃客，”他吃完了早餐后，很有礼貌地向我道歉道，“不过我一向如此。如果我的身体不这么好，吃得不这么香，说不定就会少惹些麻烦了。同样，我还得抽烟。我第一次在世界的那个天涯海角被雇去放羊时，如果没有烟抽，我一定会忧郁得发疯，自己也变成一条羊了。”
他说着便从桌旁站起来，把一只手伸进他穿的厚呢上衣的胸袋中，摸出一只短短的黑色烟斗，又摸出一把散装的烟草，就是被称为黑人头牌的烟草。他装满了一烟斗后，把多余的烟草又放回口袋，好像他的口袋就是一只抽屉。然后，他拿起火钳从炉火中夹起一块炭火，点燃了烟斗，并且在炉前地毯上转过身子，接着又做出他最喜欢的动作，把他的两只手伸给我。
他的双手抓住我的双手上下荡着，嘴里叨着的烟斗喷出一股烟气。他说道：“瞧，这才是我培养出来的绅士！这是货真价实的上等人！皮普，只要看着你，便使我心花怒放。我一心所想的只是站在你旁边，细细地看着你，亲爱的孩子！”
我尽快地把两手挣脱出来，然后才感到慢慢地定下心来，思考着当时我所处的境况。一听到他那嘶哑的话语，一坐在那里看着他皱纹满布的秃脑门，以及两鬓的铁灰色发须，我心中便十分明白，我身上已加了一条相当沉重的镣铐。
“我绝对不能看到我的绅士踩在街头的泥泞之中，我绝对不让他的皮靴上沾上尘土。皮普，我培养的上等人一定要有自己的马车！要有自己的马骑，有自己的马车乘，而且连他的仆人也要有自己的马骑，有自己的马车乘。难道只看着那些移民们骑在高头大马上，骑在纯种马上，天啦！难道我的伦敦绅士却没有马骑？不，不。皮普，我们要让他们看看，事情不是他们所想象的那样，是不是，皮普？”
他从口袋里掏出一只又大又厚的皮夹子，里面装着满满的钞票，向桌上一丢。
“这皮夹子中的钱是够你花的了，亲爱的孩子。这钱就是你的。我挣的钱都不是我的，都是你的。你大可不必担心花钱，我还有更多的钱呢。我这次回到我的故国，就是要看一看我培养造就的绅士花起钱来像一个绅士，这就是我的乐趣。我的乐趣就是要看你花钱。他妈的，其他的人全都该死！”说完后，他看着四周，用手指叭的一声打出个清脆的榧子，“他妈的一个一个的都该死，从戴着假发的法官，到骑着高头大马踏起满天灰尘的移民全都该死，我要让他们瞧瞧我的这位绅士比他们全加在一起还要更绅士！”
我心里充满了恐惧的厌恶，几乎达到了疯狂的程度。我说道：“不要再说下去了！我有话对你说。我要知道以后该怎么办，我要知道你怎么样才可以避开危险，你将在这儿住多久，有什么计划等等。”
“皮普，你听我说，”他把一只手放在我的胳膊上，突然改变了态度，温和地低低说着，“你听我说。第一，刚才我确实一说话就忘了形，说的全是粗野不文明的话；唉，全是这些粗野不文明的话。皮普，听我说，你就放过这一次，我以后再也不粗野了。”
“最重要的是，”带着心中说不出来的痛苦，我说道，“我们该采取什么样的防范措施，你才不至于被人家发现，或者被逮住？”
“亲爱的孩子，这不是最重要的，”他用像刚才一样的语气说道，“最重要的是我的粗野不文明。我以多年的心血培养一个绅士，并不是不懂得如何和绅士打交道。皮普，你听我说。我是粗野不文明的，亲爱的孩子，你得放过这点。”
他严肃的语气中表现出的荒唐可笑，使我又焦急又好笑，于是答道：“我已经放过你了，以老天的名义，不要再唠叨了。”
他还是坚持他的理由说：“是啊。不过你听我说，亲爱的孩子，我从那么远的地方回来看你，当然不是为了我的粗野不文明。那么，亲爱的孩子，现在你说吧。你刚才正在说——”
“我要你想一下，该怎么样逃避会遭遇到的危险。”
“唔，亲爱的孩子，说来危险也并不见得很大。只要没有人去告密，也就没有什么危险。只有贾格斯、温米克和你知道。除你们三个人外，又有谁会去告密呢？”
“你走在街上会不会碰巧遇到什么人认识你呢？”我说道。
他答道：“唔，我看还不至于吧。当然我也不想在报纸上登个广告，说有个叫A•M的人（艾伯尔•马格韦契的缩写）从伯特尼港湾回来了。其实事情已经过去那么多年，谁能从中捞到什么呢？皮普，你还得听我说，即使有五十倍的危险，我还是要回来看你的，事情就是这样，这是我要让你知道的。”
“你在这里逗留多长时间呢？”
“多长时间？”他从嘴里取下了黑烟斗，嘴巴也没有合起来，只是瞪着我，说道，“我不回去了。我永远回来了。”
“你将住在哪里？”我说道，“该怎么样安排？在什么地方你才安全？”
他答道：“亲爱的孩子，假头发可以用钱买来，头发香粉、眼镜、黑衣服，还有短裤这类东西，都可以用钱买。别的人们靠了这方法过得很安全，还有别的人们也靠这方法过得挺安全，其他人可以仿照他们。至于住到哪里去，怎么样过日子，亲爱的孩子，我倒想听听你的高见。”
“你现在讲得如此轻松，”我说道，“可是昨天夜里你又那么严肃认真，还发誓说一旦被发现就是死路一条。”
“我现在还是发誓说，一旦被捉住就是死路一条，”他把烟斗重新放进嘴巴，说，“而且用绳子绞死，在离这里不远的大街上被公开绞死。这还是严肃认真的，你应当充分地了解这一点。木已成舟，那该怎么办？现在我来了，要回去吧，回去和在这里都是半斤八两，甚至于更糟。再说，皮普，我来到这里，因为我多少年来一直盼望着见到你，现在才为了你而来。说我大胆吧，是的，我已是一只久经风霜的老鸟，自从生下后就天不怕地不怕地历经了多少次罗网的捕捉，今日飞到稻草人上又何足为俱呢？如果稻草人里面隐藏杀机，那就让死神现出来，让我面对着他，我相信我对他也服了。不过现在我还得再看一下我一手培养出来的绅士。”
他又抓起我的两只手，仔细地打量着我，态度俨然是一副财主审视产业的样子，同时在恰然自得地抽着烟。
我想，最好在附近的某个地方给他找一处僻静的住所，这对他的安全有好处。就在最近两三天赫伯特要回来，他一回来就让我的这位不速之客搬过去。我一定要向赫伯特吐露真情，而且这是非常有必要的。因为这样一来很明显，我们可以共商对策，他可以提供建议，减轻我心理上的沉重负担。不过我的这一想法，对于普鲁威斯先生来讲就不那么显而易见了（我坚持用这个名字来称呼他），他认为他先得看一下赫伯特，看看他的面相，算一下他的命，再决定是不是让他参与此事。他从口袋里掏出一本袖珍《圣经》，油腻腻的，而且边上有扣子扣着，对我说：“即使这样，亲爱的孩子，我们也得要他对《圣经》起誓。”
我要是说，我的这位恩主拿着这本袖珍的黑皮《圣经》走遍世界，就是为了在紧急的关头要人们对《圣经》起誓，那不是很合理的说法，但是我可以说，我确实不知道他这本书派过任何其他的用处。就是这本书本身，看上去也是他从哪个法庭上稍带地偷来的，也许他了解和这本书有关的故事，再和他本人以往的体验联系起来，便相信这本书有无限的魔力和魅力，任何法律也奈何不得。我看到他从口袋中掏出这本书时，便回忆起童年时代在乡村墓地他是如何叫我对他发誓效忠的，而且昨天晚上，他自己也谈到他在孤寂的异国是如何发誓要实现心愿的。
他现在穿的衣服是一套水手的服装，穿这种衣服看上去好像他有一些鹦鹉及雪茄等待出售似的。我和他讨论的另一个问题就是他应穿什么衣眼。他有一个特殊的信念，强调短裤的功效，认为其具有伪装方面的意义，并且在他自己心中，已经设计了他自己穿的服装式样，穿上这种衣服他就能成为介乎乡村牧师和牙科医生之间的人物。而我花了好大的耐心才说服他打扮成一个富裕农场主的样子。我们做了安排，要他把头发剪短，再扑上些粉。另外，既然我的那位洗衣妇和她的侄女尚未看见过他，那么，干脆等他换装改扮之后再和她们见面。
看起来，决定这些预防的措施是一件很简单的事情，其实不然，即使不说我的心中是心烦意乱，至少也给弄得头昏眼花，讨论来讨论去，一直到下午两三点钟我才出去置办。我出外时关照他留在家中，锁好房门，有人敲门，无论如何也不能开。
我知道在艾塞克斯街上有一处很不错的出租房，它的后门正通向寺院，我只要在我的窗口一叫，他准能听见。我先去看这所房子，说来十分幸运，我为我的这位伯父普鲁威斯先生租到了三楼的房间。然后，我从这个店到那个店地进进出出，购买为他改装打扮的有关用品。这些事情办妥之后，我便转身奔向小不列颠街，为我自己办事。贾格斯先生正坐在他的桌边，一看到我进来，立刻便站起来，站在他那壁炉的前面。
“嗳，皮普，”他说道，“你要小心些。”
“我会注意的。”我答道。我走在路上时，早就把该要说的话都想好了。
“不要连累你自己，”贾格斯先生说道，“也不要连累任何别人。你该懂得——任何别人。不要告诉我任何事。我也不需要知道任何事：我不好奇。”
自然，我看出他已经知道那人到了我那里。
“贾格斯先生，”我说道，“我只想证实一下有人告诉我的话是否是事实。我并不希求那是假话，而只想能够证实一下。”
贾格斯先生点点头。“你所说的究竟是‘有人告诉你’呢，还是‘有人通知你’呢？”他问我时把头歪向一边，并没有瞧着我，而是一副凝神的样子望着地板。“有人告诉你就是说你和此人当面交谈过。你要知道你不可能和一个住在新南威尔士的人当面交谈，你说对吗？”
“贾格斯先生，我得说，是有人通知我的。”
“很好。”
“有一个叫做艾伯尔•马格韦契的人通知我，长期以来对我隐瞒姓名的那位恩主就是他。”
“正是此人，”贾格斯先生说，“他住在新南威尔士。”
“我的恩主就他一个人吗？”我问道。
“仅他一个人。”贾格斯先生答道。
“先生，我不是不讲道理的人，我不能把自己的误解和错误的结论都推到你身上由你负责；不过，我总以为我的恩主是郝维仙小姐。”
“皮普，”贾格斯先生用他冷酷的目光盯住我，咬了一下他的食指，“正如你说的那样，我不能负任何责任。”
“先生，可表面上却是那么像，”我唉声叹气地申明自己的理由。
“皮普，你说的一点儿证据也没有，”贾格斯先生摇着头说道，同时撩起衣服的后摆，“什么事都不能凭表面；所有的事都要凭证据。这是最重要的人生之道。”
我沉默无语地站了一会儿，然后叹了一口气，说道：“我没有更多的话要说，通知我的事得到了证实，就到此为止了。”
“马格韦契，住在新南威尔士的马格韦契终于本人出面了，”贾格斯先生说道，“皮普，你总该明白了，我和你来往自始至终一丝不苟，我总是严格地遵守事实的方针路线，一点儿也没有违背这事实的方针路线。你现在总该完全了解是怎么一回事了吧？”
“确实如此，先生。”
“马格韦契第一次从新南威尔士写信给我的时候，我就写回信寄到新南威尔土给他，向他提出警告，叫他不要对我寄托希望，以为我会离开事实的严格方针。同时，我还对他提出另一项警告。因为在一封信中他暗示他会有一天回到英国来看你，所以我警告他，不许再向我提到这件事，他是不可能得到宽大处理的；既然他被判为终身流放，就不可能再想回国，回国就构成重罪，根据法律要处以极刑。这一点我早警告过他，”贾格斯先生说着，紧紧地盯着我，“我早写信到新南威尔士，毫无疑问，他遵守了这一点。”
“那是毫无疑问的。”我答道。
“温米克曾经告诉过我，”贾格斯先生仍然紧紧地盯着我，继续说道，“说他接到一封信，是从朴茨茅斯寄来的，写信的人是海外移民普尔威斯，或是——”
“或是普鲁威斯。”我提示说。
“谢谢，是普鲁威斯，谢谢你皮普。也许就是这个普鲁威斯？也许你知道他就是普鲁威斯吧？”
“是的。”我说道。
“你知道这人叫普鲁威斯。在这封发自朴茨茅斯的信上，那位海外移民普鲁威斯询问了你的详细地址，他是代马格韦契问的。温米克回信告诉了他你的地址，这我是知道的。或许你正是通过普鲁威斯的转达，你才知道住在新南威尔士的马格韦契的心意的吧？”
“是通过普鲁威斯转达的。”我答道。
“皮普，再见了，”贾格斯先生伸过手来给我，说道，“这次见到你很高兴。你写信给马格韦契，即写信到新南威尔士去，或者通过普鲁威斯转告他时，务必请你提一下，我们长期以来的账目往来及收据详情，连同余款即将寄到你那里；因为尚有些余款。再见，皮普！”
我们握手告别，他在目送我时紧紧地盯住我。我在门口回头看时，他仍然在紧紧地盯住我，他书架上放着的两个丑陋的头像也在挣扎着睁大眼睛，尽力地从他们肿胀的喉头中挤出一句话：“看，这是个多精明的人！”
温米克不在事务所里，即使他在这里办公，对我也没有什么用处。我一直走回寺区。走进住所，我看到那位吓人的普鲁威斯正在畅饮兑水朗姆酒，抽着黑人头牌烟丝，平安无事地待在那里。
第二天，我为他订做的衣眼全都送来了，他马上换上身。无论他穿哪一件衣服都比不上他原来的衣眼合身，这使我真有点儿狼狈。我想，在他身上肯定有一种什么东西，使他没有办法把自己乔装打扮起来。我愈是让他换新衣眼，愈是把他装扮起来，而他就愈像沼泽地上的那位懒散的逃犯。在我焦急忧愁的幻觉之中产生了如此强烈的效果，其中的一个原因无疑是他在我童年印象中的样子和态度那么逼真地在我脑中再现出来；他现在拖着双腿那种懒散的样子仿佛仍然锁着铁镣一样，而且从头到脚，全身上下，每一个地方都表现出他是一个十足的犯人。
他在长期流放中，生活在寂寞的小棚中，久而久之对他产生了影响，使他形成了野蛮的习气，这种野性是什么衣服也无法驯服的。再说，离开了小棚后，在异地移民当中的生活是具有罪犯烙印的生活，更对他产生了影响，特别在他的意识方面，总是那么躲躲闪闪，好像有什么东西见不得人一样。从他的一举一动中，无论是站着、坐着，无论是吃、是喝，无论是高高耸起双肩在苦思默想，或是取出他那把牛角柄的水兵小刀光在他的双腿上擦一下，然后切开食物，或是举起轻巧的玻璃酒杯，放到唇边，好像举的是粗笨的铁锅一样，或者他切下一片面包，用来在还有一点肉汁残羹的盆子里一次又一次地揩着，仿佛那是他难得的美餐，又把手指上的油也揩在面包片上，最后才一口吞下，所有这些举动以及一天当中随时随刻都会发现的说不出名称的成千成万的各种举动，都清清楚楚、明明白白地向人们显示出他是个罪犯，是个重犯，是个戴过手铐脚镣的犯人。
在头发上搽粉是他本人的意见，因为在裤子方面他作出了让步我才同意的。效果可不令人乐观，因为在头发上搽粉，除掉和死人脸上搽胭脂一样，没有其他可比的；这样一来，原来在他身上想掩饰的东西，反而透过一层薄薄的虚饰更强烈地暴露出来，似乎全部在他的头顶上闪耀出来，令人感到十分难看。几经试着装扮以后，不得不都放弃，只把他的灰白头发剪短了一些。
语言的确难以道出我对这位可怕的神秘人物的感觉。晚上，他坐在安乐椅上，用那骨节突出的双手抓着椅子的扶手，沉沉地睡去；他那皱纹满布的秃头耷拉在胸前一颠一颠的。我坐在那儿打量着他，真想知道他究竟犯过什么罪，我把在法庭上听来的一切罪名都一条一条地加在他的身上，每加一条，我心头就受一分刺激，最后刺得我不得不跳起来，从他身边远远地逃走。我对他的厌恶是与时俱增的，如果不是因为知道赫伯特马上就要回来，无论他对我有过什么恩惠，或者为我冒过什么危险，我也只有下定决心一走了之，因为忍受不了内心的痛苦，忍受不了幽灵般的烦扰。有一次我在晚上确实惊得从床上跳起来，并且穿上了我最坏的衣服，匆匆忙忙地想丢开他，也丢下我的所有东西去参军，作为一名普通士兵到印度去。
在这漫长夜晚和漫长黑夜的孤寂房间中，窗外风凄雨厉，我想，即使这时有鬼魂出现，我的心情也不见得比现在更可怕。一个鬼魂不会因我而有被捕和上绞架的危险，而他却有被捕和上绞架的危险，我正是担心他的这种可能性，所以更感到毛骨悚然。当他不能成眠的时候，就独自玩开一种叫做“耐心”的复杂扑克游戏。他的那副扑克牌破烂得不像样，如他玩的牌成功了，他就用他的水兵刀在桌子上刻上一个记号。他玩的这种牌我过去从未见过，后来也没有再见别人玩过。每逢他既不能睡觉，又不想玩牌时，就会对我说： “亲爱的孩子，读点外文给我听听吧。”其实他一个外国文字也听不懂，却总是站在火炉前面，用一副展览会主持人的神态打量着我，而我在读书时用一只手遮住面孔，从手指之间会看到他对着家具打着哑剧般的手势，要它们注意倾听我完美熟练的朗读。我知道有过一位善于幻思奇想的学者，亵读神灵，创造了一个怪人，自己反被怪人所缠；而我也被一个怪物缠住，但这个怪物是把我创造成绅士的人，可是那个创造怪物的人所处的环境和我这个被创造的人所处的环境，其悲惨程度不分上下。他对我愈是喜欢，对我愈是宠爱，我却愈是想逃脱他，愈是厌恶他。
我如此写着，好像在我的感觉上已有了一年之久，而实际只不过五天左右。我时刻盼望着赫伯特回来，不敢外出，只在天黑以后才带着普鲁威斯出去透透空气。终于在一天晚上，我们吃罢晚餐，由于十分疲惫，我便睡着了。因为在晚上我总是心情紧张难以安宁，睡眠时也时常被噩梦惊醒，时断时续。这天也是在睡眠中，我忽然被楼梯上亲切的脚步声吵醒。普鲁威斯本已睡觉，由于我的响声，他也蹒跚地爬起，立时我便看到他手上的那把水手刀。
“赫伯特回来了，不要惊慌！”我说道。这时赫伯特冲了进来，他经历了六百英里的法国之旅，带回来一股新鲜空气。
“汉德尔，我亲爱的朋友，你好吗，我再说两遍，你好吗，你好吗？我们这一别好像整整十二个月了！大概真该有一年了，看你长得这么瘦，这么苍白！汉德尔，啊！对不起，请问这一位是谁？”
他正向我走过来要和我握手，一眼却看到了普鲁威斯，便停了下来。普鲁威斯紧紧地盯住他，慢慢地收起了他的水兵刀，一只手在另一只口袋中不知摸索着什么东西。
“赫伯特，我亲爱的朋友，”我一面说着，一面关上了双扇门，而赫伯特却站在那儿呆呆地望着我，“我要告诉你发生的一些奇怪事情，这位是我的客人。”
“亲爱的孩子，不必在意！”普鲁威斯走上前来，拿着他那本带扣子的小黑书，然后对着赫伯特说道，“用你的右手拿着这本书，你发誓：只要你走漏风声，主会立刻用雷电劈死你。吻一下这本书！”
“照他说的办。”我对赫伯特说道。赫伯特无限友好地望着我，友好中还夹着不安和惊慌的心情。他照办了，于是普鲁威斯便和他握手，说道：“现在你已经发了誓，以后如果皮普不把你造就成一个上流社会的绅士，你就不要相信我好了！”
Chapter 41
IN vain should I attempt to describe the astonishment and disquiet of Herbert, when he and I and Provis sat down before the fire, and I recounted the whole of the secret. Enough, that I saw my own feelings reflected in Herbert's face, and, not least among them, my repugnance towards the man who had done so much for me. 
What would alone have set a division between that man and us, if there had been no other dividing circumstance, was his triumph in my story. Saving his troublesome sense of having been `low' on one occasion since his return - on which point he began to hold forth to Herbert, the moment my revelation was finished - he had no perception of the possibility of my finding any fault with my good fortune. His boast that he had made me a gentleman, and that he had come to see me support the character on his ample resources, was made for me quite as much as for himself; and that it was a highly agreeable boast to both of us, and that we must both be very proud of it, was a conclusion quite established in his own mind.
`Though, look'ee here, Pip's comrade,' he said to Herbert, after having discoursed for some time, `I know very well that once since I come back - for half a minute - I've been low. I said to Pip, I knowed as I had been low. But don't you fret yourself on that score. I ain't made Pip a gentleman, and Pip ain't a going to make you a gentleman, not fur me not to know what's due to ye both. Dear boy, and Pip's comrade, you two may count upon me always having a gen-teel muzzle on. Muzzled I have been since that half a minute when I was betrayed into lowness, muzzled I am at the present time, muzzled I ever will be.'
Herbert said, `Certainly,' but looked as if there were no specific consolation in this, and remained perplexed and dismayed. We were anxious for the time when he would go to his lodging, and leave us together, but he was evidently jealous of leaving us together, and sat late. It was midnight before I took him round to Essex-street, and saw him safely in at his own dark door. When it closed upon him, I experienced the first moment of relief I had known since the night of his arrival.
Never quite free from an uneasy remembrance of the man on the stairs, I had always looked about me in taking my guest out after dark, and in bringing him back; and I looked about me now. Difficult as it is in a large city to avoid the suspicion of being watched, when the mind is conscious of danger in that regard, I could not persuade myself that any of the people within sight cared about my movements. The few who were passing, passed on their several ways, and the street was empty when I turned back into the Temple. Nobody had come out at the gate with us, nobody went in at the gate with me. As I crossed by the fountain, I saw his lighted back windows looking bright and quiet, and, when I stood for a few moments in the doorway of the building where I lived, before going up the stairs, Garden-court was as still and lifeless as the staircase was when I ascended it.
Herbert received me with open arms, and I had never felt before, so blessedly, what it is to have a friend. When he had spoken some sound words of sympathy and encouragement, we sat down to consider the question, What was to be done?
The chair that Provis had occupied still remaining where it had stood - for he had a barrack way with him of hanging about one spot, in one unsettled manner, and going through one round of observances with his pipe and his negro-head and his jack-knife and his pack of cards, and what not, as if it were all put down for him on a slate - I say, his chair remaining where it had stood, Herbert unconsciously took it, but next moment started out of it, pushed it away, and took another. He had no occasion to say, after that, that he had conceived an aversion for my patron, neither had I occasion to confess my own. We interchanged that confidence without shaping a syllable.
`What,' said I to Herbert, when he was safe in another chair, `what is to be done?'
`My poor dear Handel,' he replied, holding his head, `I am too stunned to think.'
`So was I, Herbert, when the blow first fell. Still, something must be done. He is intent upon various new expenses - horses, and carriages, and lavish appearance of all kinds. He must be stopped somehow.'
`You mean that you can't accept--'
`How can I?' I interposed, as Herbert paused. `Think of him!Look at him!'
An involuntary shudder passed over both of us.
`Yet I am afraid the dreadful truth is, Herbert, that he is attached to me, strongly attached to me. Was there ever such a fate!'
`My poor dear Handel,' Herbert repeated.
`Then,' said I, `after all, stopping short here, never taking another penny from him, think what I owe him already! Then again: I am heavily in debt - very heavily for me, who have now no expectations - and I have been bred to no calling, and I am fit for nothing.'
`Well, well, well!' Herbert remonstrated. `Don't say fit for nothing.'
`What am I fit for? I know only one thing that I am fit for, and that is, to go for a soldier. And I might have gone, my dear Herbert, but for the prospect of taking counsel with your friendship and affection.'
Of course I broke down there: and of course Herbert, beyond seizing a warm grip of my hand, pretended not to know it.
`Anyhow, my dear Handel,' said he presently, `soldiering won't do. If you were to renounce this patronage and these favours, I suppose you would do so with some faint hope of one day repaying what you have already had. Not very strong, that hope, if you went soldiering! Besides, it's absurd. You would be infinitely better in Clarriker's house, small as it is. I am working up towards a partnership, you know.'
Poor fellow! He little suspected with whose money.
`But there is another question,' said Herbert. `This is an ignorant determined man, who has long had one fixed idea. More than that, he seems to me (I may misjudge him) to be a man of a desperate and fierce character.'
`I know he is,' I returned. `Let me tell you what evidence I have seen of it.' And I told him what I had not mentioned in my narrative; of that encounter with the other convict.
`See, then,' said Herbert; `think of this! He comes here at the peril of his life, for the realization of his fixed idea. In the moment of realization, after all his toil and waiting, you cut the ground from under his feet, destroy his idea, and make his gains worthless to him. Do you see nothing that he might do, under the disappointment?'
`I have seen it, Herbert, and dreamed of it, ever since the fatal night of his arrival. Nothing has been in my thoughts so distinctly, as his putting himself in the way of being taken.'
`Then you may rely upon it,' said Herbert, `that there would be great danger of his doing it. That is his power over you as long as he remains in England, and that would be his reckless course if you forsook him.'
I was so struck by the horror of this idea, which had weighed upon me from the first, and the working out of which would make me regard myself, in some sort, as his murderer, that I could not rest in my chair but began pacing to and fro. I said to Herbert, meanwhile, that even if Provis were recognized and taken, in spite of himself, I should be wretched as the cause, however innocently. Yes; even though I was so wretched in having him at large and near me, and even though I would far far rather have worked at the forge all the days of my life than I would ever have come to this!
But there was no raving off the question, What was to be done?
`The first and the main thing to be done,' said Herbert, `is to get him out of England. You will have to go with him, and then he may be induced to go.'
`But get him where I will, could I prevent his coming back?'
`My good Handel, is it not obvious that with Newgate in the next street, there must be far greater hazard in your breaking your mind to him and making him reckless, here, than elsewhere. If a pretext to get him away could be made out of that other convict, or out of anything else in his life, now.'
`There, again!' said I, stopping before Herbert, with my open hands held out, as if they contained the desperation of the case. `I know nothing of his life. It has almost made me mad to sit here of a night and see him before me, so bound up with my fortunes and misfortunes, and yet so unknown to me, except as the miserable wretch who terrified me two days in my childhood!'
Herbert got up, and linked his arm in mine, and we slowly walked to and fro together, studying the carpet.
`Handel,' said Herbert, stopping, `you feel convinced that you can take no further benefits from him; do you?'
`Fully. Surely you would, too, if you were in my place?'
`And you feel convinced that you must break with him?'
`Herbert, can you ask me?'
`And you have, and are bound to have, that tenderness for the life he has risked on your account, that you must save him, if possible, from throwing it away. Then you must get him out of England before you stir a finger to extricate yourself. That done, extricate yourself, in Heaven's name, and we'll see it out together, dear old boy.'
It was a comfort to shake hands upon it, and walk up and down again, with only that done.
`Now, Herbert,' said I, `with reference to gaining some knowledge of his history. There is but one way that I know of. I must ask him point-blank.'
`Yes. Ask him,' said Herbert, `when we sit at breakfast in the morning.' For, he had said, on taking leave of Herbert, that he would come to breakfast with us.
With this project formed, we went to bed. I had the wildest dreams concerning him, and woke unrefreshed; I woke, too, to recover the fear which I had lost in the night, of his being found out as a returned transport. Waking, I never lost that fear.
He came round at the appointed time, took out his jack-knife, and sat down to his meal. He was full of plans `for his gentleman's coming out strong, and like a gentleman,' and urged me to begin speedily upon the pocket-book, which he had left in my possession. He considered the chambers and his own lodging as temporary residences, and advised me to look out at once for a `fashionable crib' near Hyde Park, in which he could have `a shake-down'. When he had made an end of his breakfast, and was wiping his knife on his leg, I said to him, without a word of preface:
`After you were gone last night, I told my friend of the struggle that the soldiers found you engaged in on the marshes, when we came up. You remember?'
`Remember!' said he. `I think so!'
`We want to know something about that man - and about you. It is strange to know no more about either, and particularly you, than I was able to tell last night. Is not this as good a time as another for our knowing more?'
`Well!' he said, after consideration. `You're on your oath, you know, Pip's comrade?'
`Assuredly,' replied Herbert.
`As to anything I say, you know,' he insisted. `The oath applies to all.'
`I understand it to do so.'
`And look'ee here! Wotever I done, is worked out and paid for,' he insisted again.
`So be it.'
He took out his black pipe and was going to fill it with negrohead, when, looking at the tangle of tobacco in his hand, he seemed to think it might perplex the thread of his narrative. He put it back again, stuck his pipe in a button-hole of his coat, spread a hand on each knee, and, after turning an angry eye on the fire for a few silent moments, looked round at us and said what follows.
 
赫伯特、我及普鲁威斯坐在壁炉前，我向赫怕特吐露了全部的秘密，他在听我讲时所表现出来的惊愕和内心的不平静，无须细述。只要看到赫伯特的面孔上出现了我自己所有的情感色彩就已足够。同样，对于这位对我有大恩大德的人我却表现出的厌恶情绪，在赫伯特的脸上也可以发现。
本来赫伯特、我和此人之间并无隔阂的情绪，而他在听了我的讲述之后却凯旋般地得意起来，仅凭此便足以造成我们和他之间的隔阂。自从他归国看我以来，曾说完话，便开始向赫伯特一再表白。他根本就没有想到，尽管我时来运转，而心里却在对这个好运挑剔不满呢。他一讲话便夸口说他把我造就成了一个上流人物，这次回来看我就是看我如何运用他的巨资维持我的绅士身份的。他的夸口既是为他，也是为我。他在自己的心里一定有他的见解，他的夸口对他自己和我来说都是合情合理、十分体面的，所以我们都该引以为骄傲。
“皮普的朋友，你听我说，”他说了一会儿以后，又对赫伯特道，“我是十分清楚的，我回国后有那么一次，也就是有半分钟的时间，表现出粗野不文明。我便对皮普说，我知道我是怎么样粗野不文明的。但是你千万不要因为这个问题而发愁。我把皮普培养成了一个绅士，皮普又把你培养成了一个绅士，我知道该怎么样对待你们两个人。亲爱的孩子，还有皮普的朋友，我可以向你们两人保证，以后我会永远戴上一只文雅的口罩。自从那半分钟我话中露出了我的粗野不文明后，我就戴上了这只口罩，现在我戴着这口罩，以后也永远戴着这口罩。”
听了他的话，赫伯特嘴上说了声“是”，不过从面容上看，他好像并未因此而感到宽慰，却留下了迷惑不解和惊慌不定的神色。我们内心都很焦急，希望他快些回到住处去休息，让我和赫伯特留下来，可是他却又珍惜又忌妒这个时刻，舍不得和我们分开。我们一直坐到很晚，过了半夜我才绕着道儿把他送到艾塞克斯街，看着他安全地进入他自己黑暗的房门，看着他把房门关上，这时我才体验到自他来之后的第一次心情放松。
那个在楼梯上看到的人一直留在我的记忆中，这永远使我内心不安，所以每逢天黑之后，我带着我的客人走进走出时，都要向四周仔细观察一番。这一次我也不例外。身居大城市，只要心中意识到存在着受人监视的危险，就很难避开受人监视的疑虑，不过我并不相信在这里有什么人正在注意我的一举一动。街上行人不多，都在各自赶路，在我返回寺区时，街上空无一人。我们出去时没有人跟着我们出去，在我回来时也没有人跟着我回来。我经过喷水池时，看到他后窗里灯光明亮，房内安静。我在自己住的房子门口站了几分钟，看到花园里一片寂静无声，然后才上楼；爬楼时，楼梯上也同样寂静无声。
赫伯特张开双臂来欢迎我，我感到从未有过的幸福，有这么一位朋友多好啊。他对我讲了几句颇有见解的话以表对我的同情和鼓励，然后我们坐下来讨论问题：下一步我们该怎么办？
普鲁威斯坐过的那张椅子依旧留在原处，原封未动，因为他和牢房做伴，习惯了固守在一处地方，总是怀着不安的情绪，把他的烟斗、黑人头牌烟丝、水手刀和扑克牌统统拿出来玩一通，这就好像写在石板上的课程表一样，都得来一遍。我说他坐过的那张椅子依旧留在原处原封未动，赫伯特这时无意识地坐了上去，但霎时就从椅子上惊跳起来，把它推开，换了一张椅子坐。不需要语言就可以了解，他对我的恩主所表现出来的厌恶情绪，当然也不需要我再多言。我们两人之间不需要多说一个音节，就能相互了解，心心相印。
赫伯特放心地坐在另一张椅子上，坐定后我对他说：“你看，下一步该怎么办？”
“我可怜的、亲爱的汉德尔，”他用手托着头说道，“我惊呆了，一脑子空白，什么也说不出。”
“我和你一样，赫伯特，真是晴天霹雳。不过，我们还是要考虑一下该怎么办。他现在是一心一意花钱摆阔，要买马，买车，买各种各样的东西。该阻止他一下。”
“你是说你不能接受——”
“我怎么能呢？”我在赫伯特停了一下时插言说，“想一想他是何许人也，看一看他这样子！”
我们两人都不自禁地打了个颤。
“赫伯特，我所担心的是这件可怕的事实；他真的粘住了我，他强烈的盛情都倾注在了我的身上，难道这就是我的命运？”
赫伯特又说了一句：“我可怜的、亲爱的汉德尔！”
“还有，”我说道，“即使我现在来个猛然煞车，再不从他那儿取一分钱，想想我已经欠下他多少！再说，我有多少债务，这对我来说是多么沉重的债啊！我对遗产现在不再指盼了，可我没有学过一门职业，什么事也干不成。”
“唔，唔，唔！”赫伯特劝我道，“不要说什么干不成这类的话了。”
“你说我还能干什么？我知道只有一件事我可以干，那就是去当兵。亲爱的赫伯特，如果不想到你的友谊和情感，如果不想到等你回来做一番商量，我怕早已去当兵了。”
自然，说到这里，我不自禁地大哭起来；自然，赫伯特除掉紧紧地、热情地抓住我的手外，装作了什么也没有见到。
“我亲爱的汉德尔，”他等了一会儿说道，“你千万不能去当兵。你如果拒绝他当你的恩主，拒绝他给你的好处，我认为你总该有一点希望将来把你从他那里得到的再偿还给他吧。如果你去当兵，看来这点希望就不存在了。此外，这个想法是荒谬的。我看你还是到我们的克拉利柯公司来，它虽小，但比当兵可强得不知多少。你知道，我正在努力成为合伙人呢。”
可怜的人啊！他到现在还不知道他是用谁的钱在这公司工作呢。
“不过这里有另一个问题，”赫伯特说道，“这个人没有文化，做事却很坚决，心里早就打定了主意。在我看来更重要的是，他是一个不顾死活而且性格暴烈的人，当然也许我对他的估计是错误的。”
“我对他这一情况倒是清楚的，”我答道，“那我就来告诉你我亲眼所见的一个证据吧。”于是我便告诉他那件还没有提到的事，也就是最初发生的他和另一个逃犯互斗的事。
“想一想自然明白，”赫伯特说道，“他冒了生命的危险来到这里，就是为了实现他早就打定的主意。如果在他实现心愿的时候，实现他历尽辛苦多年盼求的愿望时，你却使他站不住脚，摧毁他的主意，使他的财产毫无用处。你倒看一看，处于如此的失望情绪下，他会干出什么呢？”
“赫伯特，我早就看出来了，自从他来到这里的那个不吉的晚上开始，我连梦中也会想到，我是再清楚也不过了，他说不定会去投案自首。”
赫伯特答道：“那么你就等着瞧，有可能他会孤注一掷的。反正他留在英国，他就有权力左右你，如果你把他抛弃了，他也就会什么也不顾地这么于一下。”
这一令人胆战心惊的思想从一开始就压在我身上使我动弹不得，现在却更深地打击着我，一旦这成为事实，我岂不成了谋害他的凶手。想到这里，我在椅子上坐不住了，便站起身来在屋里走来走去。于是我对赫伯特说，即使普鲁威斯本人被人们认出来而遭逮捕，尽管原因出于他自己，我自己是清白无辜，我仍然会感到不幸与痛苦，因为他遭捕总和我有关。是的，如果我把他放在我身边，我还是会感到不幸与痛苦，说实话，我宁愿一生中天天在铁匠铺中打铁，也不愿意处于这种情况。
可是这个问题迫在眼前，不能延宕，究竟该怎么办呢？
“首先的，也是主要的事，”赫伯特说道，“就是先让他离开英国。你一定要和他一起走，只有这样他才可能走。”
“可是，我无论把他带到哪里，我能阻止他不回到英国吗？”
“我的好汉德尔，难道这还不明显吗？新门监狱就在隔壁街道上，你要在这里对他表明你的心情岂不比在其他地方有更大的危险，也更会造成他什么都不顾地孤注一掷。要找到一个借口让他走，比如利用另一个罪犯作为借口，或者利用他经历中的另一件事情作为借口让他离开这里。”
“问题又来了！”我停下脚步，站在赫伯特面前，把两手向他一摊，仿佛这包含了无可奈何的意思，说道，“至于他个人的经历我不知道。反正每天晚上坐在这里，看到他在我面前，就会使我发疯。我的走运和不幸都和他捆绑在一起，其实我对他一无所知，如果说有所了解，那只是在我童年时代这一位不幸的可怜人恐吓了我两天。”
赫伯特从椅子中站起来，挽着我的臂膀，我们一起在房间中缓慢地来回踱着，眼睛都注视着地毯。
“汉德尔，”赫伯特停住了脚说道，“你肯定再不想从他那里得到好处了吗？是不是？”
“完全肯定。如果你处在我的地位，肯定也会这样的，是吗？”
“那么你肯定了你一定要和他决裂吗？”
“赫伯特，你还用问我吗？”
“他冒了生命的危险回国，都是为了你，所以你应当，也必须尽一切可能救他的命。你要从这件事中脱身，也得先把他送出英国。我亲爱的老伙计，以天国的名义，我们要一起把他送出英国，然后再从这件事中脱身出来。”
我们握手表示祝贺这一项小小的决定，彼此内心都由之而获得宽慰，然后我们又继续在房中来回踱步。
我说道：“赫伯特，现在我们来看看怎么样了解他的个人经历。我看这里有一个方法可行，即我直截了当地问他。”
“是的，问他，”赫伯特说道，“在我们早晨吃早饭时问他。”因为普鲁威斯在和赫伯特告别时，说明天他要来和我们一起吃早餐。
既然主意打定，我们便上床睡觉。夜里我做了关于他的许多怪梦，醒来，也萎靡不振，甚至昨夜已消失掉的忧虑，现在又回到了心头，唯恐被别人发现这是一个潜逃回来的流放犯。只要醒着，这种忧虑便再也不会离去。
次日早晨，他准时来到，掏出他的水手刀，坐下来吃早餐。他满腹计划，都是“为了让他培养的绅士出人头地，像一个上流社会的人”。他催促我开始花他那钱袋中的钱，就是他曾交给我的那个大皮夹子。他说我住的这几间房屋和他的住地都不过是临时住处，他要我立刻到外面去找一处“上流社会的小窝”，要在海德公园附近，在里面他可以搭一张“便床”。他的早餐刚结束，他便在腿上擦他的水手刀，于是我便对他直言，毫不转弯抹角地说：
“昨天晚上你离开这里后，我和我的朋友谈起很早的时候官兵们在沼泽地上寻找你的那件事，当时我跟着他们也到了沼泽地，你还记得吗？”
“记得！”他说道，“我记得这回事。”
“我们很想知道一点关于另一个人的情况，也想了解一下你的情况。对你们两人的情况知道甚少，这倒有点奇怪，特别关于你的情况竟然只知道那么一点点，所以昨天晚上我们三言两语就谈完了。你看趁这个机会不妨多告诉我们一些。”
“好啊，”他考虑了一下说道，“皮普的朋友，要知道，你也已经发过誓不讲出去。”
“那当然了。”赫伯特答道。
他又坚持地重申：“无论我说什么，你都得遵守你发的誓。”
“我知道我该做的事。”
“那么，听我说！我以前无论犯的什么罪，现在均已抵消，一切也都偿还了。”他又重申了一次他的立场。
“是这样。”
他先取出他的那只黑烟斗，正打算把黑人头牌烟丝装进去，却又打量着手中的这一团乱七八糟的烟丝，好像他认为这烟丝会打乱他要讲述的故事，便连忙把烟丝放回，把烟斗塞进大衣的钮扣洞里，两只手放在两个膝头上，用他转动的、带有怒气的眼睛望着壁炉，静静地望了几分钟，然后又看看我们四周，便告诉了我们下面的故事。
Chapter 42
`DEAR boy and Pip's comrade. I am not a going fur to tell you my life, like a song or a story-book. But to give it you short and handy, I'll put it at once into a mouthful of English. In jail and out of jail, in jail and out of jail, in jail and out of jail. There, you got it. That's my life pretty much, down to such times as I got shipped off, arter Pip stood my friend. 
`I've been done everything to, pretty well - except hanged. I've been locked up, as much as a silver tea-kettle. I've been carted here and carted there, and put out of this town and put out of that town, and stuck in the stocks, and whipped and worried and drove. I've no more notion where I was born, than you have - if so much. I first become aware of myself, down in Essex, a thieving turnips for my living. Summun had run away from me - a man - a tinker - and he'd took the fire with him, and left me wery cold.
`I know'd my name to be Magwitch, chrisen'd Abel. How did I know it? Much as I know'd the birds' names in the hedges to be chaffinch, sparrer, thrush. I might have thought it was all lies together, only as the birds' names come out true, I supposed mine did.
`So fur as I could find, there warn't a soul that see young Abel Magwitch, with us little on him as in him, but wot caught fright at him, and either drove him off, or took him up. I was took up, took up, took up, to that extent that I reg'larly grow'd up took up.
`This is the way it was, that when I was a ragged little creetur as much to be pitied as ever I see (not that I looked in the glass, for there warn't many insides of furnished houses known to me), I got the name of being hardened. "This is a terrible hardened one," they says to prison wisitors, picking out me. "May be said to live in jails, this boy. "Then they looked at me, and I looked at them, and they measured my head, some on 'em - they had better a measured my stomach - and others on 'em giv me tracts what I couldn't read, and made me speeches what I couldn't understand. They always went on agen me about the Devil. But what the Devil was I to do? I must put something into my stomach, mustn't I? - Howsomever, I'm a getting low, and I know what's due. Dear boy and Pip's comrade, don't you be afeerd of me being low.
`Tramping, begging, thieving, working sometimes when I could - though that warn't as often as you may think, till you put the question whether you would ha' been over-ready to give me work yourselves - a bit of a poacher, a bit of a labourer, a bit of a waggoner, a bit of a haymaker, a bit of a hawker, a bit of most things that don't pay and lead to trouble, I got to be a man. A deserting soldier in a Traveller's Rest, what lay hid up to the chin under a lot of taturs, learnt me to read; and a travelling Giant what signed his name at a penny a time learnt me to write. I warn't locked up as often now as formerly, but I wore out my good share of keymetal still.
`At Epsom races, a matter of over twenty years ago, I got acquainted wi' a man whose skull I'd crack wi' this poker, like the claw of a lobster, if I'd got it on this hob. His right name was Compeyson; and that's the man, dear boy, what you see me a pounding in the ditch, according to what you truly told your comrade arter I was gone last night.
`He set up fur a gentleman, this Compeyson, and he'd been to a public boarding-school and had learning. He was a smooth one to talk, and was a dab at the ways of gentlefolks. He was a good-looking too. It was the night afore the great race, when I found him on the heath, in a booth that I know'd on. Him and some more was a sitting among the tables when I went in, and the landlord (which had a knowledge of me, and was a sporting one) called him out, and said, "It hink this is a man that might suit you" - meaning I was.
`Compeyson, he looks at me very noticing, and I look at him. He has a watch and a chain and a ring and a breast-pin and a handsome suit of clothes.
`"To judge from appearances, you're out of luck," says Compeyson to me.
`"Yes, master, and I've never been in it much." (I had come out of Kingston Jail last on a vagrancy committal. Not but what it might have been for something else; but it warn't.)
`"Luck changes," says Compeyson; "perhaps yours is going to change."
`I says, "I hope it may be so. There's room."
`"What can you do?" says Compeyson.
`"Eat and drink," I says; "if you'll find the materials."
`Compeyson laughed, looked at me again very noticing, giv me five shillings, and appointed me for next night. Same place.
`I went to Compeyson next night, same place, and Compeyson took me on to be his man and pardner. And what was Compeyson's business in which we was to go pardners? Compeyson's business was the swindling, handwriting forging, stolen bank-note passing, and such-like. All sorts of traps as Compeyson could set with his head, and keep his own legs out of and get the profits from and let another man in for, was Compeyson's business. He'd no more heart than a iron file, he was as cold as death, and he had the head of the Devil afore mentioned.
`There was another in with Compeyson, as was called Arthur - not as being so chrisen'd, but as a surname. He was in a Decline, and was a shadow to look at. Him and Compeyson had been in a bad thing with a rich lady some years afore, and they'd made a pot of money by it; but Compeyson betted and gamed, and he'd have run through the king's taxes. So, Arthur was a dying, and a dying poor and with the horrors on him, and Compeyson's wife (which Compeyson kicked mostly) was a having pity on him when she could, and Compeyson was a having pity on nothing and nobody.
`I might a took warning by Arthur, but I didn't; and I won't pretend I was partick'ler - for where 'ud be the good on it, dear boy and comrade? So I begun wi' Compeyson, and a poor tool I was in his hands. Arthur lived at the top of Compeyson's house (over nigh Brentford it was), and Compeyson kept a careful account agen him for board and lodging, in case he should ever get better to work it out. But Arthur soon settled the account. The second or third time as ever I see him, he come a tearing down into Compeyson's parlour late at night, in only a flannel gown, with his hair all in a sweat, and he says to Compeyson's wife, "Sally, she really is upstairs alonger me, now, and I can't get rid of her. She's all in white," he says, "wi' white flowers in her hair, and she's awful mad, and she's got a shroud hanging over her arm, and she says she'll put it on me at five in the morning."
`Says Compeyson: "Why, you fool, don't you know she's got a living body? And how should she be up there, without coming through the door, or in at the window, and up the stairs?"
`"I don't know how she's there," says Arthur, shivering dreadful with the horrors, "but she's standing in the corner at the foot of the bed, awful mad. And over where her heart's brook - you broke it! - there's drops of blood."
`Compeyson spoke hardy, but he was always a coward. "Go up alonger this drivelling sick man," he says to his wife, "and Magwitch, lend her a hand, will you?" But he never come nigh himself.
`Compeyson's wife and me took him up to bed agen, and he raved most dreadful. "Why look at her!" he cries out. "She's a shaking the shroud at me! Don't you see her? Look at her eyes!Ain't it awful to see her so mad?" Next, he cries, "She'll put it on me, and then I'm done for! Take it away from her, take it away!" And then he catched hold of us, and kep on a talking to her, and answering of her, till I half believed I see her myself.
`Compeyson's wife, being used to him, giv him some liquor to get the horrors off, and by-and-by he quieted. "Oh, she's gone!Has her keeper been for her?" he says. "Yes," says Compeyson's wife. "Did you tell him to lock her and bar her in?" "Yes." "And to take that ugly thing away from her?" "Yes, yes, all right." "You're a good creetur," he says, "don't leave me, whatever you do, and thank you!"
`He rested pretty quiet till it might want a few minutes of five, and then he starts up with a scream, and screams out, "Here she is!She's got the shroud again. She's unfolding it. She's coming out of the corner. She's coming to the bed. Hold me, both on you - one of each side - don't let her touch me with it. Hah! she missed me that time. Don't let her throw it over my shoulders. Don't let her lift me up to get it round me. She's lifting me up. Keep me down!" Then he lifted himself up hard, and was dead.
`Compeyson took it easy as a good riddance for both sides. Him and me was soon busy, and first he swore me (being ever artful) on my own book - this here little black book, dear boy, what I swore your comrade on.
`Not to go into the things that Compeyson planned, and I done - which 'ud take a week - I'll simply say to you, dear boy, and Pip's comrade, that that man got me into such nets as made me his black slave. I was always in debt to him, always under his thumb, always a working, always a getting into danger. He was younger than me, but he'd got craft, and he'd got learning, and he overmatched me five hundred times told and no mercy. My Missis as I had the hard time wi' - Stop though! I ain't brought her in--'
He looked about him in a confused way, as if he had lost his place in the book of his remembrance; and he turned his face to the fire, and spread his hands broader on his knees, and lifted them off and put them on again.
`There ain't no need to go into it,' he said, looking round once more. `The time wi' Compeyson was a'most as hard a time as ever I had; that said, all's said. Did I tell you as I was tried, alone, for misdemeanour, while with Compeyson?'
I answered, No.
`Well!' he said, `I was, and got convicted. As to took up on suspicion, that was twice or three times in the four or five year that it lasted; but evidence was wanting. At last, me and Compeyson was both committed for felony - on a charge of putting stolen notes in circulation - and there was other charges behind. Compeyson says to me, "Separate defences, no communication," and that was all. And I was so miserable poor, that I sold all the clothes I had, except what hung on my back, afore I could get Jaggers.
`When we was put in the dock, I noticed first of all what a gentleman Compeyson looked, wi' his curly hair and his black clothes and his white pocket-handkercher, and what a common sort of a wretch I looked. When the prosecution opened and the evidence was put short, aforehand, I noticed how heavy it all bore on me, and how light on him. When the evidence was giv in the box, I noticed how it was always me that had come for'ard, and could be swore to, how it was always me that the money had been paid to, how it was always me that had seemed to work the thing and get the profit. But, when the defence come on, then I see the plan plainer; for, says the counsellor for Compeyson, "My lord and gentlemen, here you has afore you, side by side, two persons as your eyes can separate wide; one, the younger, well brought up, who will be spoke to as such; one, the elder, ill brought up, who will be spoke to as such; one, the younger, seldom if ever seen in these here transactions, and only suspected; t'other, the elder, always seen in 'em and always wi'his guilt brought home. Can you doubt, if there is but one in it, which is the one, and, if there is two in it, which is much the worst one?" And such-like. And when it come to character, warn't it Compeyson as had been to the school, and warn't it his schoolfellows as was in this position and in that, and warn't it him as had been know'd by witnesses in such clubs and societies, and nowt to his disadvantage? And warn't it me as had been tried afore, and as had been know'd up hill and down dale in Bridewells and Lock-Ups? And when it come to speech-making, warn't it Compeyson as could speak to 'em wi' his face dropping every now and then into his white pocket-handkercher - ah! and wi' verses in his speech, too - and warn't it me as could only say, "Gentlemen, this man at my side is a most precious rascal"? And when the verdict come, warn't it Compeyson as was recommended to mercy on account of good character and bad company, and giving up all the information he could agen me, and warn't it me as got never a word but Guilty? And when I says to Compeyson, "Once out of this court, I'll smash that face of yourn!" ain't it Compeyson as prays the Judge to be protected, and gets two turnkeys stood betwixt us? And when we're sentenced, ain't it him as gets seven year, and me fourteen, and ain't it him as the Judge is sorry for, because he might a done so well, and ain't it me as the Judge perceives to be a old offender of wiolent passion, likely to come to worse?'
He had worked himself into a state of great excitement, but he checked it, took two or three short breaths, swallowed as often, and stretching out his hand towards me said, in a reassuring manner, `I ain't a going to be low, dear boy!'
He had so heated himself that he took out his handkerchief and wiped his face and head and neck and hands, before he could go on.
`I had said to Compeyson that I'd smash that face of his, and I swore Lord smash mine! to do it. We was in the same prison-ship, but I couldn't get at him for long, though I tried. At last I come behind him and hit him on the cheek to turn him round and get a smashing one at him, when I was seen and seized. The black-hole of that ship warn't a strong one, to a judge of black-holes that could swim and dive. I escaped to the shore, and I was a hiding among the graves there, envying them as was in 'em and all over, when I first see my boy!'
He regarded me with a look of affection that made him almost abhorrent to me again, though I had felt great pity for him.
`By my boy, I was giv to understand as Compeyson was out on them marshes too. Upon my soul, I half believe he escaped in his terror, to get quit of me, not knowing it was me as had got ashore. I hunted him down. I smashed his face. "And now," says I "as the worst thing I can do, caring nothing for myself, I'll drag you back." And I'd have swum off, towing him by the hair, if it had come to that, and I'd a got him abroad without the soldiers.
`Of course he'd much the best of it to the last - his character was so good. He had escaped when he was made half-wild by me and my murderous intentions; and his punishment was light. I was put in irons, brought to trial again, and sent for life. I didn't stop for life, dear boy and Pip's comrade, being here.'
`He wiped himself again, as he had done before, and then slowly took his tangle of tobacco from his pocket, and plucked his pipe from his button-hole, and slowly filled it, and began to smoke.
`Is he dead?' I asked, after a silence.
`Is who dead, dear boy?'
`Compeyson.'
`He hopes I am, if he's alive, you may be sure,' with a fierce look. `I never heerd no more of him.'
Herbert had been writing with his pencil in the cover of a book. He softly pushed the book over to me, as Provis stood smoking with his eyes on the fire, and I read in it:
`Young Havisham's name was Arthur. Compeyson is the man who professed to be Miss Havisham's lover.'
I shut the book and nodded slightly to Herbert, and put the book by; but we neither of us said anything, and both looked at Provis as he stood smoking by the fire.
 
“亲爱的孩子和皮普的朋友，我来告诉你们关于我的生活经历，这是身世，不是一首歌，也不是讲故事。为了先让你们简单扼要地了解我的情况，不妨引几句英国人嘴上流行的顺口溜：‘进牢房出牢房，出了牢房进牢房，进了牢房出牢房，进进出出断了肠。’你们看这意思多清楚，这就是我的身世，就这样我交上了皮普这位朋友，以后便被装上船，并且被押送到海外。
“我经受过所有的刑罚，所幸的是还没有领教过绞刑。有时他们把我当作一把银茶壶锁了起来，有时他们用车把我装到这里，运到那里，从这个城市装出，又从那个城市运走。我被他们戴上足枷，被他们鞭打，被他们折磨、驱赶。至于我出生于何处，我连一点概念也没有。我最早知道世上有我这个人时，那是在艾塞克斯，为了活命而偷萝卜吃。和我在一起的有一个男人，是个补锅匠。他后来离我而去，带走了他的火炉，只留下我一个人挨着寒冷的煎熬。
“我知道我叫马格韦契，教名是艾伯尔。我是怎么知道我的名字的呢？这就好比我知道树篱上的鸟儿的名称，这是燕雀，那是麻雀，还有画眉，我就像知道鸟儿的名字那样知道了自己的名字。我起先也怀疑过我的名字可能是乱说的吧，可是鸟儿的名字叫起来都是真的，我想我的名字也错不了。
“据我的记忆，这个小艾伯尔•马格韦契身上没衣穿，肚中无食吃，没有一个人不讨厌他，要么赶他走，要么捉住他。于是我就这样被他们捉来捉去，最后就被捉大了起来。
“情况就是这样，那时我是个衣衫褴褛的小东西，我想世上没有人再比我更可怜了，不过我可没照过镜子。因为我到过许多人家，都没有发现那玩艺儿。就那时我就得到了小惯犯这个名称。来到牢房探监的客人一走进来，狱吏便对他们指着我说：‘这是个厉害的小惯犯，可以说他就是在牢房中生活的，不要小看他是个孩子。’ 然后他们打量着我，我也打量着他们。他们打量着我的脑袋，其实他们最好应打量一下我的肚子；有的给我几本我根本看不懂的《回头是岸》一类的宗教小册子，有的对我讲些从善改恶的劝教，我根本也听不懂。他们总是再三地说我遇上了魔鬼。什么魔鬼，和我有个屁关系？我要紧的是填肚子，难道我要饿死吗？对不起，我又粗野不文明起来了，亲爱的孩子和皮普的朋友，你们不必担心我会讲粗野不文明的话，我知道该怎么办的。
“我到处流浪，到处行乞，到处偷东西，有时遇上机会也会劳动一下。你们不要以为这种机会很多，你们不妨问问自己，你们是不是会把活儿给我干？有时到人家庄园里私下偷猎，有时当一个帮工，有时帮人家赶车、翻干草，有时也做点小贩什么的，总之，干得多拿得少，大部分活儿不仅得不到报酬，而且多招惹麻烦，我就是在这种情况下长大的。在一家旅行客店中有一个开小差的兵，全身裹着破布，一直裹到下巴，他教我读书。后来又遇上个周游四方的大汉，专门为人家签一个名收一个便士，他教了我一阵子写字。这个阶段比起以前来，我被锁进牢房的次数少了，但不管怎样，那柄开关牢房的钥匙被磨得越来越细，和我的‘多进宫’有不少的关系。
二十多年以前，我在艾普瑟姆赛马场上认识了一个人，要是我有机会再碰到他，一定用这根火钳像大虾子的钳子一样把他的头钳碎。这个人就是康佩生。亲爱的孩子，这个人就是你看到和我在沟渠中扭打的那个人，就是昨晚我走了之后你和你朋友谈到的那个人。
“正是这个康佩生，他在公立寄宿学校读过书，受过教育，原是要培养成绅士的。他十分善于言谈，总是以上流社会中的人士自居，模样生得也还不错。那是一次大赛马的前夜，我在荒原上的一家我常去的小棚酒家中看到了他。我进这家酒店时，他正和几个其他的人坐在店中。店老板认识我，是个善于投机冒险的人，便招呼了他一声，大声说道：‘我看这个人倒挺适合你的。’他说的这个人就是指我。
“康佩生非常专注地看着我，我也盯住他望。他有一只带链子的挂表挂在身上，手上戴着戒指，衣服上别了胸针，衣服的质地是挺讲究的。
“‘从体外表的气色看你不太走运吧。’康佩生对我说。
“‘噢，先生，是这样，我从来就没有走过运。’（那时我刚从金斯顿监狱放出来不久，是犯了流浪罪被关进去的。即使不是流浪罪也会因别的罪被关进去；不过那一次确是流浪罪而不是别的。）
“‘时来就会运转，’康佩生说道，‘也许你的运气正在好转呢。’
“我说：‘我希望时来运转，就等待机会吧。’
“‘你能干什么呢？’康佩生问道。
“我答道：‘你要有什么养活我的东西，我是能吃能喝的。’
“康佩生笑着，又非常专注地盯住我望，然后给了我五个先令，叫我明天晚上再来，在同一个地方。
“第二天晚上我到老地方去见康佩生，康佩生让我成为他的人，并且和他合作。康佩生要我和他合伙究竟是干什么呢？原来他干的是招摇撞骗、伪造字据、偷窃银钱并迅速甩出，等等，所有在康佩生脑子里能想得出来的各种陷阱、圈套，他都装得若无其事和他无关，而得到的好处却从不放过，出了问题让别人受过，这些都是他干的买卖。他的心完全可以和钢锉比坚硬，他这个人和死尸一样冷酷，他的头脑就像刚才所提到的魔鬼一样。
“康佩生还有一个同伙，别人都叫他亚瑟，其实这并不是他的教名，而是他的诨名。他正患有严重的肺病，看上去形似幽灵。他和康佩生两个人狼狈为奸，合伙在许多年前欺骗了一位富家小姐，因此发了大财。可是康佩生又会赌钱，又要赛马，像他这样大手大脚，皇室国库也不够他花，所以骗来的钱都被他花光了。而亚瑟却正病入膏盲，越来越穷，还恐惧缠身。康佩生的妻子（康佩生经常对她拳打脚踢）却尽量地给予他同情，而康佩生对于任何事物和任何人都毫无怜悯之心。
“我本可以从亚瑟身上吸取教训，但是我没有；我无须假装我有什么特殊，我有什么地方可以逞能呢？亲爱的孩子和朋友，所以我和康佩生鬼混在一起，成为他手中一个可怜的工具。亚瑟住在康佩生住宅的顶楼屋子中，那里距离布兰特福德很近，康佩生把他这里的住费用费都详细记录在册，只要他身体一好就要他干活偿还。不过亚瑟却很快还清了这笔账。我记得第二次或第三次看到他时，那是一个深夜，他突然从顶楼狂奔而下，跑到康佩生的会客室中，只穿了一件法兰绒的长睡衣，全部头发都被汗水浸湿。他对康佩生的妻子说道：‘萨莉，她正在楼上和我无理取闹，我简直无法摆脱她。她全身都穿着白的，在头发间还插了白花，她都气疯了，在她的手臂上搭了一块裹尸布，她还说明天早晨五时就用这裹尸布把我裹起来。’
“康佩生说：‘你这个大笨蛋，难道你不知道她现在还活着？她怎么会爬到这楼上来呢？她没有从门口进来，又没有从窗口进来，怎么上了楼梯呢？’
“‘我也不知道她是怎么进来的，’亚瑟当时恐惧到极点，全身发抖，‘可是她就站在床前的一个角落里，那副气疯了的样子。她的心都碎了，是你把她的心弄碎的！血还从她心中一滴一滴地滴下来。’
“康佩生嘴上很硬，事实上是个懦夫。他对他的妻子说：‘你把这个说梦话的病人送上楼去；还有你马格韦契，你帮她一起送他上去，怎么样？’而他自己不敢挪动一步。
“康佩生的妻子和我重新把他扶到楼上，让他躺到床上，他却没命地说着胡话：‘你们没有看到她吗！她正打开裹尸布向我身上裹来！你们还没有看到她吗？看看她的眼睛！看她那副气疯的样子多么可怕啊2把裹尸布从她手中夺下来，把它夺下来！’然后他便一把抓住我们，继续和那个她讲话、答话，弄得我都半信半疑，仿佛我也看到了那个她。
“康佩生的妻子对他的这种情况已经习以为常，这时给了他一些酒喝，使他的恐惧消散。没有多久他安静下来，‘噢，现在她走了！是管她的人来把她领走的吗？’ 他说。‘是的。’康佩生的妻子说。‘你有没有关照他把门锁上，关好她？’‘说了。’‘你叫他把她手中拿的那东西夺下了吗？’‘叫了，叫了，一切都关照好了。’他说道：‘你可真是个好人，可千万别离开我，现在我求你了，无论如何你别走！’
“他睡在那里十分安静，一直到次日早晨五时还差几分的时候，他突然从床上大叫一声跳了起来。他大声惊叫着：‘她又来了！她手中又拿来了裹尸布。她正把裹尸布散开。她从角落里走出来了！她向这边走来了。快抱住我，你们两个都抱住我，一边一个，不要让她的裹尸布碰到我！哈！这次可没有碰上。不要让她把裹尸布撒在我的肩头上。不要让她把我拎起来裹。她来拖我了，快把我向下按住！’接着，他的身子向上挺了一下，便死了。
“康佩生对于他的死处之泰然，认为简直是拔除了一个眼中钉，对双方都有利。他和我也就忙碌了起来。这个滑头的家伙做的第一件事就是要我拿着这本《圣经》发誓。亲爱的孩子，这就是这本小黑书，就是我要你朋友发誓的小黑书。
“至于康佩生如何想坏主意，我是如何给他卖命这些事就不必细言了，因为太多了，一个礼拜也讲不完。我只想简单地告诉你们，亲爱的孩子和皮普的朋友，告诉你们这个家伙是怎样把我引进他的罗网，成为他的黑奴。我永远欠他的债，永远被他牵着鼻子转，永远为他马前马后卖命，永远为他赴汤蹈火。他比我年轻，可是他的鬼点子比我多，比我有学问，可以说比我要胜过五百倍，而且心狠手辣。我和我的太太当时也正处于艰难时期，还是不提她了！我不让她也卷进去——”
这时他带着惶恐的心情看了一下四周，仿佛忘掉了自己正回忆到什么地方；然后，他转回面孔对着火炉，把两手放在膝头上摊得更大，一会儿挪开，一会儿又放口到膝盖上。
“详情无须细说，”他又环顾了一下四周，说道，“我和康佩生相处的日子是我生活中最艰难的一段；就是这样。我说没说过，在我和康佩生一起混的那段时间中，为了一桩轻罪，我还单独受过审？”
我说他没有说过。
“好吧！”他说道，“我说一下，当时我受了审又定了罪。至于我因为有嫌疑而被逮捕的事，在持续的四五年之间有过两三次，但最后都证据不足。事情总归会败露，康佩生和我两个人都犯了重罪，因为偷盗货币，还有几个别的罪名。当时康佩生对我说：‘自找律师，分别辩护，互不联系。’这就是他说的一切。我那时是个穷光蛋，只有变卖了所有的衣服，只留下身上穿的，才找到了贾格斯为我讲话。
“当他也被押到法庭被告席上的时候，我第一眼就注意到康佩生打扮得多么像一个绅土啊，一头鬈发，穿着黑色礼眼，手中拿着雪白的手帕；相比之下我多么像一个可怜的坏蛋。起诉一开始，要简短地举出证据，我一看就明白，凡是重大罪证都推到我身上，而轻的却和他有关。当证人到庭时，我又注意到他们总是把我说成是出头露面的首要分子，并且一再发誓，所有的钱都是交在我的手上，我总是插手干每一件坏事，总是从中得到利益。在被告律师开始辩护时，对他们的阴谋我看得更清楚了。就看康佩生请来的那位辩护律师吧，他说： ‘法官大人，先生们，你们看到在你们面前并排站着两个人。你们的眼睛一看便能分清，一个比较年轻，受过良好教育，在判决时就应考虑到他的这些条件；而另一个比较年长，没有受过教育，判决时也应考虑到这些。这年轻些的，很难看出他和这些案件有关，不过是有点嫌疑而已；至于这年长些的，一看就和案件有关系，他必须服罪。在这两个人中如果只有一个人犯罪，或者在这两个人中，虽两个都犯罪，哪一个罪重，难道还会有怀疑吗？’等等，他讲的都是诸如此类的话。至于涉及到我们两个人的品质，他又说康佩生受过教育，他的同学不是在这里就是在那里干事，都有地位；这些证人都和他相识，在这个俱乐部或那个社团中见过面，总不至于说对他不利的话。至于我可不同了，以前受过审讯，在监狱、感化院。拘留所，哪儿他们不认识我？再说到我们的言语方面，康佩生与他们一谈话便低下他的面孔，还掏出白手帕掩住面孔，不时在语言中还夹几句诗，一遇到我，我只会说：‘先生们，站在我旁边的这个家伙是个罪大恶极的流氓坏蛋。’等到判决一定，结果康佩生因为原来品质好，只是交上了坏朋友，而他又能尽力检举揭发我，所以对他是宽大处理。至于对我的判决除了罪名外，再没有其他的话。当时我对康佩生说： ‘只要出了这个法庭，我就要砸碎你的面孔！’康佩生连忙请求法官对他进行人身保护，请法官派出两个看守站在我们中间，把我们隔开。判决书一定，他判了七年徒刑，而我有十四年。他仅仅七年，法官还对他感到惋惜，因为他本该是一个不错的人，至于我，在法官的眼里，是一个惯犯，而且性格暴烈，所以每况愈下。”
他越讲越表现出极大的激动，却尽量地控制住自己，急促地呼吸了两三口气，也吞进了几口唾液，然后向我伸出他的手，用一种保证似的态度对我说：“亲爱的孩子，我不会再粗野不文明的。”
他激动得热气腾腾，急忙掏出手帕擦他的面孔，擦他的额角，擦他的脖子和手，然后才又继续讲下去。
“我对康佩生说过，我要砸碎他的面孔，我自己也发誓，不砸碎他的面孔，就让老天砸烂我的面孔。我们关在同一条监狱船上，但长期中我近不了他身，努力也无用。后来遇上了一个机会，我跟在他后面，朝他脸蛋上狠狠打了一拳，等他转过脸来又一拳送过去，不巧被看到了。我被他们逮住，关进了船上的黑牢房，对于会游泳和会潜水的人来讲，黑牢房不起作用，而且又不坚固。所以我乘机逃到了岸上，躲在坟墓之间。我正在羡慕赞叹着那些故人，因为一死什么都结束了，就这个当儿我见到了你，我的孩子！”
他这时怀着深情厚谊地对我望了一眼，本来我对他已产生了较大的同情，但经他这一望，对他的厌恶情绪又回到了心上。
“我的孩子，那时通过你的话我知道康佩生也到了沼泽地上。根据我的看法，我一半认为他逃出来是因为对我的恐惧，不过他并不晓得我那时已到达了岸上。我四处找他，终于找到了。我砸烂了他的面孔，又对他说：‘现在不管自己会怎么样，我也要挺而走险，把你拖回水牢船。’要是后来不发生士兵来的事，我就会拖着他的头发游回到水牢船上，我这一手弄他上船是不需要士兵帮忙的。
“自然，这件事最后又是他讨了便宜，因为他的品质原来是好的。他为什么逃跑？因为我打他，有谋杀他的心，所以他被逼得半疯了，所以对他的惩治是轻的。我则被戴上了手铐脚镣，重新审判，判成终身流放。亲爱的孩子和皮普的朋友，现在我回来了，也就无所谓终身流放了。”
他又讲得热气腾腾，取出手帕擦脸擦手，和刚才一样。然后，他从口袋中慢慢地掏出一团烟草，从钮扣洞里抽出烟斗，缓慢地把烟丝填进去，开始拍起烟来。
“他死了吗？”沉默了片刻我问道。
“亲爱的孩子，你说谁死了？”
“康佩生。”
“他要是活着，就会希望我死，这是肯定的，”他眼中闪着凶狠的目光说道，“我后来就再没有听过他的消息。”
赫伯特拿起铅笔在一本书的封面内页上写了些字，又轻轻地把这本书递给了我，这时普鲁威斯正站在那里抽烟，两眼注意着火炉，我便读着他写的字：
“郝维仙小姐的弟弟叫亚瑟，康佩生就是当年假作赫维仙小姐情人的那个家伙。”
我合上书，对赫伯特微微点了点头，便把书放在一边。我们谁也没有讲话，都凝视着站在炉边抽烟的普鲁威斯。
Chapter 43
WHY should I pause to ask how much of my shrinking from Provis might be traced to Estella? Why should I loiter on my road, to compare the state of mind in which I had tried to rid myself of the stain of the prison before meeting her at the coach-office, with the state of mind in which I now reflected on the abyss between Estella in her pride and beauty, and the returned transport whom I harboured? The road would be none the smoother for it, the end would be none the better for it, he would not be helped, nor I extenuated. 
A new fear had been engendered in my mind by his narrative; or rather, his narrative had given form and purpose to the fear that was already there. If Compeyson were alive and should discover his return, I could hardly doubt the consequence. That, Compeyson stood in mortal fear of him, neither of the two could know much better than I; and that, any such man as that man had been described to be, would hesitate to release himself for good from a dreaded enemy by the safe means of becoming an informer, was scarcely to be imagined.
Never had I breathed, and never would I breathe - or so I resolved - a word of Estella to Provis. But, I said to Herbert that before I could go abroad, I must see both Estella and Miss Havisham. This was when we were left alone on the night of the day when Provis told us his story. I resolved to go out to Richmond next day, and I went.
On my presenting myself at Mrs Brandley's, Estella's maid was called to tell that Estella had gone into the country. Where? To Satis House, as usual. Not as usual, I said, for she had never yet gone there without me; when was she coming back? There was an air of reservation in the answer which increased my perplexity, and the answer was, that her maid believed she was only coming back at all for a little while. I could make nothing of this, except that it was meant that I should make nothing of it, and I went home again in complete discomfiture.
Another night-consultation with Herbert after Provis was gone home (I always took him home, and always looked well about me), led us to the conclusion that nothing should be said about going abroad until I came back from Miss Havisham's. In the meantime, Herbert and I were to consider separately what it would be best to say; whether we should devise any pretence of being afraid that he was under suspicious observation; or whether I, who had never yet been abroad, should propose an expedition. We both knew that I had but to propose anything, and he would consent. We agreed that his remaining many days in his present hazard was not to be thought of.
Next day, I had the meanness to feign that I was under a binding promise to go down to Joe; but I was capable of almost any meanness towards Joe or his name. Provis was to be strictly careful while I was gone, and Herbert was to take the charge of him that I had taken. I was to be absent only one night, and, on my return, the gratification of his impatience for my starting as a gentleman on a greater scale, was to be begun. It occurred to me then, and as I afterwards found to Herbert also, that he might be best got away across the water, on that pretence - as, to make purchases, or the like.
Having thus cleared the way for my expedition to Miss Havisham's, I set off by the early morning coach before it was yet light, and was out on the open country-road when the day came creeping on, halting and whimpering and shivering, and wrapped in patches of clouds and rags of mist, like a beggar. When we drove up to the Blue Boar after a drizzly ride, whom should I see come out under the gateway, toothpick in hand, to look at the coach, but Bentley Drummle!
As he pretended not to see me, I pretended not to see him. It was a very lame pretence on both sides; the lamer, because we both went into the coffee-room, where he had just finished his breakfast, and where I ordered mine. It was poisonous to me to see him in the town, for I very well knew why he had come there.
Pretending to read a smeary newspaper long out of date, which had nothing half so legible in its local news, as the foreign matter of coffee, pickles, fish-sauces, gravy, melted butter, and wine, with which it was sprinkled all over, as if it had taken the measles in a highly irregular form, I sat at my table while he stood before the fire. By degrees it became an enormous injury to me that he stood before the fire, and I got up, determined to have my share of it. I had to put my hands behind his legs for the poker when I went up to the fire-place to stir the fire, but still pretended not to know him.
`Is this a cut?' said Mr Drummle.
`Oh!' said I, poker in hand; `it's you, is it? How do you do? I was wondering who it was, who kept the fire off.'
With that, I poked tremendously, and having done so, planted myself side by side with Mr Dummle, my shoulders squared and my back to the fire.
`You have just come down?' said Mr Drummle, edging me a little away with his shoulder.
`Yes,' said I, edging him a little away with my shoulder.
`Beastly place,' said Drummle. - `Your part of the country, I think?'
`Yes,' I assented. `I am told it's very like your Shropshire.'
`Not in the least like it,' said Drummle.
Here Mr Drummle looked at his boots, and I looked at mine, and then Mr Drummle looked at my boots, and I looked at his.
`Have you been here long?' I asked, determined not to yield an inch of the fire.
`Long enough to be tired of it,' returned Drummle, pretending to yawn, but equally determined.
`Do you stay here long?'
`Can't say,' answered Mr Drummle. `Do you?'
`Can't say,' said I.
I felt here, through a tingling in my blood, that if Mr Drummle's shoulder had claimed another hair's breadth of room, I should have jerked him into the window; equally, that if my own shoulder had urged a similar claim, Mr Drummle would have jerked me into the nearest box. He whistled a little. So did I.
`Large tract of marshes about here, I believe?' said Drummle.
`Yes. What of that?' said I.
Mr Drummle looked at me, and then at my boots, and then said, `Oh!' and laughed.
`Are you amused, Mr Drummle?'
`No,' said he, `not particularly. I am going out for a ride in the saddle. I mean to explore those marshes for amusement. Out-of-the-way villages there, they tell me. Curious little public-houses - and smithies - and that. Waiter!'
`Yes, sir.'
`Is that horse of mine ready?'
`Brought round to the door, sir.'
`I say. Look here, you sir. The lady won't ride to-day; the weather won't do.'
`Very good, sir.'
`And I don't dine, because I'm going to dine at the lady's.'
`Very good, sir.'
Then, Drummle glanced at me, with an insolent triumph on his great-jowled face that cut me to the heart, dull as he was, and so exasperated me, that I felt inclined to take him in my arms (as the robber in the story-book is said to have taken the old lady), and seat him on the fire.
One thing was manifest to both of us, and that was, that until relief came, neither of us could relinquish the fire. There was stood, well squared up before it, shoulder to shoulder and foot to foot, with our hands behind us, not budging an inch. The horse was visible outside in the drizzle at the door, my breakfast was put on table, Drummle's was cleared away, the waiter invited me to begin, I nodded, we both stood our ground.
`Have you been to the Grove since?' said Drummle.
`No,' said I, `I had quite enough of the Finches the last time I was there.'
`Was that when we had a difference of opinion?'
`Yes,' I replied, very shortly.
`Come, come! They let you off easily enough,' sneered Drummle. `You shouldn't have lost your temper.'
`Mr Drummle,' said I, `you are not competent to give advice on that subject. When I lose my temper (not that I admit having done so on that occasion), I don't throw glasses.'
`I do,' said Drummle.
Again glancing at him once or twice, in an increased state of smouldering ferocity, I said:
`Mr Drummle, I did not seek this conversation, and I don't think it an agreeable one.'
`I am sure it's not,' said he, superciliously over his shoulder; `I don't think anything about it.'
`And therefore,' I went on, `with your leave, I will suggest that we hold no kind of communication in future.'
`Quite my opinion,' said Drummle, `and what I should have suggested myself, or done - more likely - without suggesting. But don't lose your temper. Haven't you lost enough without that?'
`What do you mean, sir?'
`Wai-ter!,' said Drummle, by way of answering me.
The waiter reappeared.
`Look here, you sir. You quite understand that the young lady don't ride to-day, and that I dine at the young lady's?'
`Quite so, sir!'
When the waiter had felt my fast cooling tea-pot with the palm of his hand, and had looked imploringly at me, and had gone out, Drummle, careful not to move the shoulder next me, took a cigar from his pocket and bit the end off, but showed no sign of stirring. Choking and boiling as I was, I felt that we could not go a word further, without introducing Estella's name, which I could not endure to hear him utter; and therefore I looked stonily at the opposite wall, as if there were no one present, and forced myself to silence. How long we might have remained in this ridiculous position it is impossible to say, but for the incursion of three thriving farmers - laid on by the waiter, I think - who came into the coffee-room unbuttoning their great-coats and rubbing their hands, and before whom, as they charged at the fire, we were obliged to give way.
I saw him through the window, seizing his horse's mane, and mounting in his blundering brutal manner, and sidling and backing away. I thought he was gone, when he came back, calling for a light for the cigar in his mouth, which he had forgotten. A man in a dustcoloured dress appeared with what was wanted - I could not have said from where: whether from the inn yard, or the street, or where not - and as Drummle leaned down from the saddle and lighted his cigar and laughed, with a jerk of his head towards the coffee-room windows, the slouching shoulders and ragged hair of this man, whose back was towards me, reminded me of Orlick.
Too heavily out of sorts to care much at the time whether it were he or no, or after all to touch the breakfast, I washed the weather and the journey from my face and hands, and went out to the memorable old house that it would have been so much the better for me never to have entered, never to have seen.
 
为什么我应当停下来自问一下，我对普鲁威斯那么畏畏缩缩，究竟和埃斯苔娜有几分关系？当年我从新门监狱出来，把在监狱中染上的灰尘去掉后才到驿站接埃斯苔娜，这是一种心情；而现在在骄傲和美丽的埃斯苔娜及我窝藏的回国流放犯之间有着天渊之别，这是另一种心情。为什么我徘徊于路上踯躅不前，而比较两种心情之间的差异呢？想这些，道路不见得变平坦，结局不见得有所改善，对他不见得就能高枕无忧，对我也不见得就能减轻罪过。
他对自己身世的叙述又在我的心灵上滋生出一种新的恐惧，或者说，他对自己身世的叙述使我原有的恐惧更加具体、更加明确。如果康佩生还活着，就会发现他回来的痕迹，其后果不堪设想。康佩生与他之仇可以说是不共戴天，不过他们两人中无论是谁都没有我清楚其中的内情。康佩生正是如他所描述的那种人，一发现自己的敌人，就会去告密，使自己安全地摆脱他。这事对他来说绝不是异想天开。
我在普鲁威斯面前没有提到过埃斯苔娜，也不准备和他讲，这一点我已作了决定。但是，我对赫伯特说，在我出国之前必须去见一下埃斯苔娜和郝维仙小姐。这是在普鲁威斯叙述完他个人的身世，离开之后，我们俩私下讲的。我决定第二天到雷溪梦去，我真的去了。
我一走到白朗德莉夫人家的门口，她就叫埃斯苔娜的女仆来告诉我埃斯苔娜已经回乡间去了。我问是什么乡间？她说，像往常一样去沙提斯庄园了。我说，这可和往常不一样了，因为往常她到乡间去都是和我一起去的。我问女仆她什么时候回来。女仆回答的神气好像有什么秘密似的，这便增加了我的迷惑。女仆说即使埃斯苔娜回来也住不了多久了。我弄不明白话中的含义，其实她本来就不想让我知道其中的含义，我只有悻悻而回。
又一个晚上，把普鲁威斯送回去后（每天晚上我都把他送去睡觉，并且都要仔细观察一下四周的动静），我和赫伯特做了整夜的研究，得出结论，等我从郝维仙小姐家中回来之后再和他谈有关我出国的事。在这个时期，赫伯特和我分开来考虑和他怎么说最好；我们究竟要找出一个什么借口和他谈，因为担心他会对此产生嫌疑；或者我提出到国外去一次，因为我从来没有到国外去过。我们都知道，只要我向他提出，他会同意的。我们两人都认为，他像现在这样冒着风险住在这里，只要日子多了，他的情况是不可想象的。
第二天，我卑鄙地假装说，我和乔有约在先，必须下乡去看他。其实，对于乔我也是耍尽了各种卑鄙的手段，对他本人耍手段，现在又利用他的名义做卑鄙的事。我不在的时候，普鲁威斯需要严格的关照，由赫伯特代替我来照顾他。我还说我只在外面过一夜，回来后就可以实现他的心愿，因为他希望我在做绅士方面要更有气派、更阔气，他怀着的这个希望已达到不耐烦的程度。我想，后来我发现赫伯特的想法竟和我一样，那就是说做上等人就要像上等人，要买这买那，用这种借口就能够把他弄到远隔重洋的海外去。
扫清了到郝维仙小姐家去的障碍，一切安排就绪，次日一早，我便乘马车出发。这时天还未亮，马车行走在广阔的乡间大道上，白天才慢慢开始。我坐在马车里感觉到马车好像一会儿走走停停，一会儿抽抽噎噎，一会儿又颤颤抖抖，整座马车裹着拼起来的云雾般的破烂衣服，形似乞丐。在毛毛细雨之中，马车赶到了蓝野猪饭店。我一进店就碰到一个人正从店门口出来，手上拿了一根牙签，来看马车。此人并非别人，正是本特莱•德鲁莫尔。
他假装没有看见我，我也假装没有看到他，其实两个人的假装都很不成样子；尤其我们又都走进了餐厅，他在那里刚刚用完早餐，而我在那里正开始要我的早餐。在镇上看到他使我心里老大不愉快，因为我心里清清楚楚他为什么来到这里。
我们都各自假装在读一份早就过期的油腻肮脏的报纸。这虽是地方报纸，但地方上的新闻半点也读不到，全是外来的东西，那斑斑点点的咖啡、泡菜汁、鱼沙司、肉汁。融化了的奶油，另外还有酒啊等等这一类的东西都洒在报纸上，那样子就像出了一场严重的麻疹，令人难以人目。我坐在桌边，而他却站在火炉之前。我看到他站在炉前就很不高兴，而且越来越生气。于是我站了起来，决定不让他一个人享受温暖，所以我从他腿后伸过手去取火钳准备把火炉中的火拨一下，仍然假装着没有看到他。
“怎么不打一个招呼？”德鲁莫尔先生却说道。
“噢！”我手中拿着火钳说道，“原来是你，可不是吗？好吗？我正在想着这是谁呢？谁在挡住火炉呢？”
我拿着火钳，费很大气力投着火，火拨好后，便和德鲁莫尔先生并排站着，展开两侧肩膀背靠着火炉。
“你刚来到这里？”德鲁莫尔用他的肩头撞我一下，使我们两人的肩分开，说道。
“刚来。”我也用我的肩头撞他一下，也不让他的肩靠上我的肩。
“这真是鬼地方，”德鲁莫尔说道，“我猜这是你的家乡吧。”
“是我的家乡，”我附和地说道，“我听说这儿和你的家乡西洛普郡很相像。”
“一点儿也不像。”德鲁莫尔说道。
这时，德鲁莫尔先生正打量着他的靴子，我也打量着我的靴子，然后德鲁莫尔先生又打量起我的靴子，我也就打量起他的靴子。
“你来这儿好久了吗？”我问道。我暗自下定决心守在火炉旁边，决不让步。
“来了太久了，久得使我腻味了。”德鲁莫尔答道，假装打了个哈欠。看上去他也和我一样坚守阵地，决不让步。
“你还打算在这儿住很久吗？”
“这很难说，”德鲁莫尔先生答道，“你呢？”
“我也很难说。”
当时我感到火往上撞，全身的血一阵沸腾，只要这位德鲁莫尔先生的肩头把我稍稍撞开哪怕一根发丝的距离，对不起，我也得把他摔到窗外去；当然，要是我的肩头把他也稍稍撞开哪怕一根发丝的距离，德鲁莫尔先生也会把我摔到近处的一个单间中去。这时，他吹起口哨，我也吹起口哨。
“我知道离这里不远有一大片沼泽地，对吧？”德鲁莫尔说道。
“是有一大片沼泽地，怎么样？”我答道。
德鲁莫尔先生望着我，然后他又望着我的靴子，又然后才说道：“噢！”说着他又大笑起来。
“德鲁莫尔先生，你感到得意吗？”
“不，”他答道，“并不特别得意。我准备骑马出去遛遛，我是说到沼泽地去寻找些愉快。有人告诉我，那里有几个不见世面的小村庄，有奇怪的小酒店，还有几家铁匠铺，还有其他些什么。茶房！”
“来了，先生。”
“我的马准备好了吗？”
“已经牵到门口了，先生。”
“喂，你听我说，小姐今天不想骑马了，天气看来不好。”
“好的，先生。”
“今天我不吃午饭了，因为我准备到小姐家中去吃。”
“好的，先生。”
说完，德鲁莫尔膘了我一眼。他虽然生得很笨，可是他那副大颧骨面孔上所表现出来的既傲慢又得意的神态深深地刺痛了我的心，气得我火冒三丈。我简直想用手臂把他抱起来，放在火上烧死。过去有一本故事书中曾讲到一个强盗就是如此弄死一个老太婆的。
有一件事对我们两人来说都是显而易见的，除非有人来帮忙，我们两人谁都不会放弃这个壁炉。我们站在那里，进攻的架势都摆得很好，肩头挨着肩头，脚挨着脚，各人的手都放在背后，谁也不让谁。他的马已站在外面的毛毛细雨之中，从门口就看得到；我的早餐已端到了桌上，德鲁莫尔的餐桌也已收拾干净，侍者正招呼我去用餐，我点着头，但各人都坚守阵地，一步不动。
“自那以后你去过林中鸟类俱乐部吗？”德鲁莫尔说道。
“没有，”我说道，“上次我在俱乐部里对那些鸟儿们了解得已够清楚了。”
“是我们发生意见分歧的那一次吗？”
“就是那一次。”我简短干脆地回答。
“得了，得了！那一次他们轻而易举地把你放走了，”德鲁莫尔冷冷地说道，“你也不该发那么大的火。”
“德鲁莫尔先生，”我说道，“我看对那件事你不必逞能来教训别人。那一次我并没有发脾气，就是说发火吧，我还没有到摔杯子的程度呢。”
“我就要摔。”德鲁莫尔说道。
我瞪了他一两眼，我那间在心头的怒火开始旺了起来，说道：
“德鲁莫尔先生，这样的谈话可不是我挑起的，我看这是不愉快的谈话。”
“我看也不是愉快的谈话，”他目中无人地说着转过了身，“用不着想就是不愉快的。”
“所以，”我继续说道，“我认为我们将来再相遇时，我们根本不要谈话，想来你不会反对。”
“这也是我的意见，”德鲁莫尔说道，“我早就该提出这个建议，或者早就该这样办，根本用不着提出来。不过你也不要发火了，难道你还不服输吗？”
“先生，你说的是什么话？”
“茶房。”德鲁莫尔用呼唤茶房的声音代替了对我的回答。
茶房随声又走了进来。
“你听着，你要知道小姐今天不去骑马了，我在小姐家吃午饭，懂了没有？”
“懂了，先生。”
茶房用他的手掌摸了一下他早为我送来的冷得很快的茶壶，用恳求的眼光望着我，然后走了出去。德鲁莫尔十分谨慎地一点也不移动靠着我的肩膀，从口袋中掏出一支雪茄烟，把烟头咬掉，而且一点也不动声色。我全身都气得发抖，热血沸腾。我们不能再说片言只字，否则就会提到埃斯苔娜的名字。我不能忍受由他的狗嘴里说出她的名字，所以，我像石头一样死死地盯住对面的墙壁，仿佛这里没有别人，强打精神使自己沉默无语。我说不出这种可笑的局面究竟会僵持多久，幸好这时有三个有钱的农场主突然闯了进来，看来是茶房有意安排的，当然这是我的猜想。他们一走进来便脱掉他们的外衣，都搓着手，抢步走到火炉前，我们才不得不让开。
我从窗口望出去，见到他用手抓住马鬃，既笨拙又神气活现的样子，蛮横地跃上马，连马也惊得倒退几步。我以为他已骑马而去，可是他又回来了。他回来是叫人为他嘴里的那根雪茄点火，因为他刚才忘记了这件事，这时有一个穿灰色衣眼的人拿着火走了过来。我说不准他是从哪儿出来的，究竟是从饭店院子里走来的，还是从街上或什么地方冒出来的，我没有看见，只看到德鲁莫尔从马鞍上俯下身子就着火点着雪茄，然后大笑起来。他的头对着餐室的窗子突然动了一下，那个送火的垂肩弯腰、头发蓬蓬的人正背对着我，我一下子才想起，这不是奥立克吗？
由于心情的沉重与杂乱，我根本无暇去思量这个人究竟是不是奥立克，也没有心思去动一下早餐。我只是洗了脸和手，把长途旅行和仆仆的风尘洗净，便匆匆向那所值得永远记忆的古老宅邸走会。我心情激荡，要是我从来没有走进过这所宅邸，要是我根本没有见到过这所宅邸，那该多么好啊！
Chapter 44
IN the room where the dressing-table stood, and where the wax candles burnt on the wall, I found Miss Havisham and Estella; Miss Havisham seated on a settee near the fire, and Estella on a cushion at her feet. Estella was knitting, and Miss Havisham was looking on. They both raised their eyes as I went in, and both saw an alteration in me. I derived that, from the look they interchanged. 
`And what wind,' said Miss Havisham, `blows you here, Pip?'
Though she looked steadily at me, I saw that she was rather confused. Estella, pausing a moment in her knitting with her eyes upon me, and then going on, I fancied that I read in the action of her fingers, as plainly as if she had told me in the dumb alphabet, that she perceived I had discovered my real benefactor.
`Miss Havisham,' said I, `I went to Richmond yesterday, to speak to Estella; and finding that some wind had blown her here, I followed.'
Miss Havisham motioning to me for the third or fourth time to sit down, I took the chair by the dressing-table, which I had often seen her occupy. With all that ruin at my feet and about me, it seemed a natural place for me, that day.
`What I had to say to Estella, Miss Havisham, I will say before you, presently - in a few moments. It will not surprise you, it will not displease you. I am as unhappy as you can ever have meant me to be.'
Miss Havisham continued to look steadily at me. I could see in the action of Estella's fingers as they worked, that she attended to what I said: but she did not look up.
`I have found out who my patron is. It is not a fortunate discovery, and is not likely ever to enrich me in reputation, station, fortune, anything. There are reasons why I must say no more of that. It is not my secret, but another's.'
As I was silent for a while, looking at Estella and considering how to go on, Miss Havisham repeated, `It is not your secret, but another's. Well?'
`When you first caused me to be brought here, Miss Havisham; when I belonged to the village over yonder, that I wish I had never left; I suppose I did really come here, as any other chance boy might have come - as a kind of servant, to gratify a want or a whim, and to be paid for it?'
`Ay, Pip,' replied Miss Havisham, steadily nodding her head; `you did.'
`And that Mr Jaggers--'
`Mr Jaggers,' said Miss Havisham, taking me up in a firm tone, `had nothing to do with it, and knew nothing of it. His being my lawyer, and his being the lawyer of your patron, is a coincidence. He holds the same relation towards numbers of people, and it might easily arise. Be that as it may, it did arise, and was not brought about by any one.'
Any one might have seen in her haggard face that there was no suppression or evasion so far.
`But when I fell into the mistake I have so long remained in, at least you led me on?' said I.
`Yes,' she returned, again nodding, steadily, `I let you go on.'
`Was that kind?'
`Who am I,' cried Miss Havisham, striking her stick upon the floor and flashing into wrath so suddenly that Estella glanced up at her in surprise, `who am I, for God's sake, that I should be kind?'
It was a weak complaint to have made, and I had not meant to make it. I told her so, as she sat brooding after this outburst.
`Well, well, well!' she said. `What else?'
`I was liberally paid for my old attendance here,' I said, to soothe her, `in being apprenticed, and I have asked these questions only for my own information. What follows has another (and I hope more disinterested) purpose. In humouring my mistake, Miss Havisham, you punished - practised on - perhaps you will supply whatever term expresses your intention, without offence - your self-seeking relations?'
`I did. Why, they would have it so! So would you. What has been my history, that I should be at the pains of entreating either them, or you, not to have it so! You made your own snares. I never made them.'
Waiting until she was quiet again - for this, too, flashed out of her in a wild and sudden way - I went on.
`I have been thrown among one family of your relations, Miss Havisham, and have been constantly among them since I went to London. I know them to have been as honestly under my delusion as I myself. And I should be false and base if I did not tell you, whether it is acceptable to you or no, and whether you are inclined to give credence to it or no, that you deeply wrong both Mr Matthew Pocket and his son Herbert, if you suppose them to be otherwise than generous, upright, open, and incapable of anything designing or mean.'
`They are your friends,' said Miss Havisham.
`They made themselves my friends,' said I, `when they supposed me to have superseded them; and when Sarah Pocket, Miss Georgiana, and Mistress Camilla, were not my friends, I think.'
This contrasting of them with the rest seemed, I was glad to see, to do them good with her. She looked at me keenly for a little while, and then said quietly:
`What do you want for them?'
`Only,' said I, `that you would not confound them with the others. They may be of the same blood, but, believe me, they are not of the same nature.'
Still looking at me keenly, Miss Havisham repeated:
`What do you want for them?'
`I am not so cunning, you see,' I said, in answer, conscious that I reddened a little, `as that I could hide from you, even if I desired, that I do want something. Miss Havisham, if you would spare the money to do my friend Herbert a lasting service in life, but which from the nature of the case must be done without his knowledge, I could show you how.'
`Why must it be done without his knowledge?' she asked, settling her hands upon her stick, that she might regard me the more attentively.
`Because,' said I, `I began the service myself, more than two years ago, without his knowledge, and I don't want to be betrayed. Why I fail in my ability to finish it, I cannot explain. It is a part of the secret which is another person's and not mine.'
She gradually withdrew her eyes from me, and turned them on the fire. After watching it for what appeared in the silence and by the light of the slowly wasting candles to be a long time, she was roused by the collapse of some of the red coals, and looked towards me again - at first, vacantly - then, with a gradually concentrating attention. All this time, Estella knitted on. When Miss Havisham had fixed her attention on me, she said, speaking as if there had been no lapse in our dialogue:
`What else?'
`Estella,' said I, turning to her now, and trying to command my trembling voice, `you know I love you. You know that I have loved you long and dearly.'
She raised her eyes to my face, on being thus addressed, and her fingers piled their work, and she looked at me with an unmoved countenance. I saw that Miss Havisham glanced from me to her, and from her to me.
`I should have said this sooner, but for my long mistake. It induced me to hope that Miss Havisham meant us for one another. While I thought you could not help yourself, as it were, I refrained from saying it. But I must say it now.'
Preserving her unmoved countenance, and with her fingers still going, Estella shook her head.
`I know,' said I, in answer to that action; `I know. I have no hope that I shall ever call you mine, Estella. I am ignorant what may become of me very soon, how poor I may be, or where I may go. Still, I love you. I have loved you ever since I first saw you in this house.'
Looking at me perfectly unmoved and with her fingers busy, she shook her head again.
`It would have been cruel in Miss Havisham, horribly cruel, to practise on the susceptibility of a poor boy, and to torture me through all these years with a vain hope and an idle pursuit, if she had reflected on the gravity of what she did. But I think she did not. I think that in the endurance of her own trial, she forgot mine, Estella.'
I saw Miss Havisham put her hand to her heart and hold it there, as she sat looking by turns at Estella and at me.
`It seems,' said Estella, very calmly, `that there are sentiments, fancies - I don't know how to call them - which I am not able to comprehend. When you say you love me, I know what you mean, as a form of words; but nothing more. You address nothing in my breast, you touch nothing there. I don't care for what you say at all. I have tried to warn you of this; now, have I not?'
I said in a miserable manner, `Yes.'
`Yes. But you would not be warned, for you thought I did not mean it. Now, did you not think so?'
`I thought and hoped you could not mean it. You, so young, untried, and beautiful, Estella! Surely it is not in Nature.'
`It is in my nature,' she returned. And then she added, with a stress upon the words, `It is in the nature formed within me. I make a great difference between you and all other people when I say so much. I can do no more.'
`Is it not true,' said I, `that Bentley Drummle is in town here, and pursuing you?'
`It is quite true,' she replied, referring to him with the indifference of utter contempt.
`That you encourage him, and ride out with him, and that he dines with you this very day?'
She seemed a little surprised that I should know it, but again replied, `Quite true.'
`You cannot love him, Estella!'
Her fingers stopped for the first time, as she retorted rather angrily, `What have I told you? Do you still think, in spite of it, that I do not mean what I say?'
`You would never marry him, Estella?'
She looked towards Miss Havisham, and considered for a moment with her work in her hands. Then she said, `Why not tell you the truth? I am going to be married to him.'
I dropped my face into my hands, but was able to control myself better than I could have expected, considering what agony it gave me to hear her say those words. When I raised my face again, there was such a ghastly look upon Miss Havisham's, that it impressed me, even in my passionate hurry and grief.
`Estella, dearest dearest Estella, do not let Miss Havisham lead you into this fatal step. Put me aside for ever - you have done so, I well know - but bestow yourself on some worthier person than Drummle. Miss Havisham gives you to him, as the greatest slight and injury that could be done to the many far better men who admire you, and to the few who truly love you. Among those few, there may be one who loves you even as dearly, though he has not loved you as long, as I. Take him, and I can bear it better, for your sake!'
My earnestness awoke a wonder in her that seemed as if it would have been touched with compassion, if she could have rendered me at all intelligible to her own mind.
`I am going,' she said again, in a gentler voice, `to be married to him. The preparations for my marriage are making, and I shall be married soon. Why do you injuriously introduce the name of my mother by adoption? It is my own act.'
`Your own act, Estella, to fling yourself away upon a brute?'
`On whom should I fling myself away?' she retorted, with a smile. `Should I fling myself away upon the man who would the soonest feel (if people do feel such things) that I took nothing to him? There! It is done. I shall do well enough, and so will my husband. As to leading me into what you call this fatal step, Miss Havisham would have had me wait, and not marry yet; but I am tired of the life I have led, which has very few charms for me, and I am willing enough to change it. Say no more. We shall never understand each other.'
`Such a mean brute, such a stupid brute!' I urged in despair.
`Don't be afraid of my being a blessing to him,' said Estella; `I shall not be that. Come! Here is my hand. Do we part on this, you visionary boy - or man?'
`O Estella!' I answered, as my bitter tears fell fast on her hand, do what I would to restrain them; `even if I remained in England and could hold my head up with the rest, how could I see you Drummle's wife?'
`Nonsense,' she returned, `nonsense. This will pass in no time.'
`Never, Estella!'
`You will get me out of your thoughts in a week.'
`Out of my thoughts! You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read, since I first came here, the rough common boy whose poor heart you wounded even then. You have been in every prospect I have ever seen since - on the river, on the sails of the ships, on the marshes, in the clouds, in the light, in the darkness, in the wind, in the woods, in the sea, in the streets. You have been the embodiment of every graceful fancy that my mind has ever become acquainted with. The stones of which the strongest London buildings are made, are not more real, or more impossible to be displaced by your hands, than your presence and influence have been to me, there and everywhere, and will be. Estella, to the last hour of my life, you cannot choose but remain part of my character, part of the little good in me, part of the evil. But, in this separation I associate you only with the good, and I will faithfully hold you to that always, for you must have done me far more good than harm, let me feel now what sharp distress I may. O God bless you, God forgive you!'
In what ecstasy of unhappiness I got these broken words out of myself, I don't know. The rhapsody welled up within me, like blood from an inward wound, and gushed out. I held her hand to my lips some lingering moments, and so I left her. But ever afterwards, I remembered - and soon afterwards with stronger reason - that while Estella looked at me merely with incredulous wonder, the spectral figure of Miss Havisham, her hand still covering her heart, seemed all resolved into a ghastly stare of pity and remorse.
All done, all gone! So much was done and gone, that when I went out at the gate, the light of the day seemed of a darker colour than when I went in. For a while, I hid myself among some lanes and by-paths, and then struck off to walk all the way to London. For, I had by that time come to myself so far, as to consider that I could not go back to the inn and see Drummle there; that I could not bear to sit upon the coach and be spoken to; that I could do nothing half so good for myself as tire myself out.
It was past midnight when I crossed London Bridge. Pursuing the narrow intricacies of the streets which at that time tended westward near the Middlesex shore of the river, my readiest access to the Temple was close by the river-side, through Whitefriars. I was not expected till to-morrow, but I had my keys, and, if Herbert were gone to bed, could get to bed myself without disturbing him.
As it seldom happened that I came in at that Whitefriars gate after the Temple was closed, and as I was very muddy and weary, I did not take it ill that the night-porter examined me with much attention as he held the gate a little way open for me to pass in. To help his memory I mentioned my name.
`I was not quite sure, sir, but I thought so. Here's a note, sir. The messenger that brought it, said would you be so good as read it by my lantern?'
Much surprised by the request, I took the note. It was directed to Philip Pip, Esquire, and on the top of the superscription were the words, `PLEASE READ THIS, HERE.' I opened it, the watchman holding up his light, and read inside, in Wemmick's writing:
`DON'T GO HOME.'
 
在那间摆着梳妆台、墙壁上燃点着蜡烛的房间里，我看到郝维仙小姐和埃斯苔娜都在。郝维仙小姐坐在火炉旁边的长靠背椅上，埃斯苔娜坐在她脚旁的一个坐垫上。埃斯苔娜正在织着什么东西，郝维仙小姐在一旁欣赏着她的手工。我一走进屋，她们都抬眼相望，发现我的神色有些不对，便相互交换了一下眼色，我一看就明白了。
“噢，皮普，”郝维仙小姐说道，“今天是什么风把你吹来了？”
虽然她那么镇静自如地望着我，我仍然发现她多少显出一些慌乱。埃斯苔娜把手中的活停了一下，抬眼看了看我，然后又继续编织。我思量着她编织的动作，她的手指就像对我打着哑谜，我一切都明白了，仿佛她已经告诉我，她也知道我已经弄清了我真正的恩主。
“郝维仙小姐，”我说道，“昨天我到雷溪梦去，想找埃斯苔娜谈谈，发现已经有风把她吹回来了，所以我就来了。”
郝维仙小姐示意我坐下，她已示意了我三四次了，于是我便坐在梳妆台旁的一张椅子上，这是我过去常看到她坐的椅子。在我的脚旁和四周全是些陈年旧物，这一天，这里似乎是特地为我安排好的。
“郝维仙小姐，我有些话必须和埃斯苔娜说，我想就当着你的面说，马上就说。这些话不会使你奇怪的，也不会使你不高兴，我目前的处境如此的不幸，一定是你所想见到的。”
郝维仙小姐仍然镇静自如地望着我。埃斯苔娜仍在编织着，我看到她手指的动作，知道她正在注意地听我说，不过没有抬起头而已。
“我已经发现了我的恩主，显然这并不是幸运的发现；这次发现无论在我的名誉上、地位上、运气上以及其他方面都不见得有很大好处。由于某种原则，我只能说这些，不能全盘相告，这虽不是我的秘密，但和别人有关。”
我沉默了一会儿，看着埃斯苔娜，同时在考虑着如何再说下去。郝维仙小姐喃喃地重复着我的话：“这虽不是我的秘密，但和别人有关。唔，还有呢？”
“郝维仙小姐，你第一次让人把我带到你这里来，当时我是那边乡下的孩子，说实话我多么希望不离开乡下啊。我认为，我来到这里和其他的孩子一样，是你用的仆人。你花钱雇仆人为了满足你的需要和怪想，是吗？”
“啊，皮普，”郝维仙小姐镇静自如地点着头，答道，“你说得很对。”
“后来贾格斯先生——”
郝维仙小姐用坚定的语气打断了我的话：“贾格斯先生和这件事毫无关系。他对此也不了解。他是我的律师，也是你恩主的律师，这完全是巧合。他作为律师，就会有许多人和他建立这相同的关系。巧合是易于发生的。不管怎样，巧合发生了，这不是由某一个人安排的。”
任何人都会从她憔悴而瘦削的脸上看出她没有隐瞒，也没有回避。
“可是我却误解了，而且一直误解了很长一段时期，我认为至少是你把我引向误解的。”我说道。
“是这样，”她又镇静自如地点头说，“我是想引你误解。”
“你说这是善意的吗？”
“我是什么人？”郝维仙小姐用她的手杖敲着地板，突然间怒火万丈，连埃斯苔娜都惊奇地抬头望着她，“我就是我，为了上帝的名义，我没有必要对什么发善心。”
我讲那句话的目的并不是存心埋怨她，根本就没有那个意思。我把这个想法告诉她，她这时正处于雷霆过后，坐在那儿沉思呢。
“好了，好了，好了！”她说道，“你还有什么话要说？”
“过去我在侍候你的时候，”我为了安慰她，使她消气，说道，“你那么慷慨地给了我报酬，使我当上了学徒。我提出那些问题，只不过想了解真情而已。下面的一些问题，也不是出自我的私心，虽然用意和目的有所不同。你因势利导地把我引向误解，郝维仙小姐，也许是利用欺骗的手段惩罚你那些自私自利的亲戚吧；也许你能表明你的用意，而我如果措词不当就会触犯你。”
“的确这样，全是大家自讨苦吃！你也不例外。我既是这样的身世，又何必要煞费苦心哀求他们或哀求你不自讨苦吃呢？圈套是你自己设下的，我没有设下任何圈套。”
说完她又突然暴跳如雷，愤怒到极点。我等她恢复平静后，才说道：
“我一到伦敦，郝维仙小姐，就有机会进入你的一位亲戚的家庭，并在一个阶段内一直住在他们中间。我知道他们和我一样都有错觉，而且对错觉都信以为真。有一件事情我想告诉你，无论你能不能接受，无论你信不信，我都要说，如果我不告诉你，我就显得虚伪和卑鄙了。我认为你对马休•鄱凯特先生及他的儿子赫伯特伤害得很深，其实他们是慷慨大度的，是光明正大的，是心地坦白的，他们绝对没有阴谋诡计和卑鄙下流的心思。”
“他们都是你的朋友。”郝维仙说道。
“他们仍然把我当作他们的朋友，”我说道，“虽然他们把我看成是取代了他们地位的人。至于莎娜•鄱凯特，乔其亚娜小姐，和卡美拉夫人，我看她们就不是我的朋友了。”
鄱凯特先生父子和其余人的对比似乎起了作用，她对他们有好感，我很高兴地看到了这一点。她目光锐利地看了我一会儿，然后平静温和地对我说：
“你想为他们提出什么要求吗？”
“只有一件事，”我说道，“你不要把他们父子二人和其余的人混为一谈。虽然他们来自同一血统，但你相信我，他们却有着完全不同的性格。”
郝维仙小姐仍然用锐利的目光望着我，然后又重复地问道：
“你想为他们提出什么要求吗？”
“你看，我不是耍滑头的人，”我回答道，感到有一点儿脸红，“即使我想瞒住你，我也瞒不了。我确实想为他们干点事。郝维仙小姐，如果你能拿出一笔钱给我的朋友赫伯特作营生之用，而且在帮他忙时不让他知道，我可以提出我的看法。”
“为什么要帮他营生而又不让他知道呢？”她两只手扶住拐杖，非常仔细地注视着我，问道。
我说道：“在两年多之前我自己已经着手为他办这件事了，我没有让他知道。为什么我不能把事情办到底，其原因我不能奉告。这是秘密的一个方面，而且是别人的秘密，不是我的秘密。”
她的目光逐渐从我身上离开，然后转向炉火。起初室内一片寂静，蜡烛的烛芯慢慢地缩短着。她注视着炉火好长一段时间，壁炉里一些烧红的炭火因为烧空而坍了下去，她这才惊醒，目光重新向我扫来，起先是茫然地看着我，然后又开始逐渐地凝神注意起来。在所有这段时间内，埃斯苔娜一直不停地在编织着。郝维仙小姐只是凝神地注视着我，仿佛我们之间的对话根本没有中断过，她说：
“还有呢？”
这时我把脸转向埃斯苔娜，尽量使自己的声音不颤抖，“埃斯苔娜，你知道我爱你，你明白我早就爱上了你，并且爱得那么深。”
她听到我提到她，才抬起眼皮望着我的面孔，而她的手指仍然在编织着。她望着我，脸上毫无情感流露。我看到郝维仙小姐把目光从我的脸上移到她的脸上，又从她的脸上移到了我的脸上。
“要不是我一向对这事情的误解，我本该早就说了。因为误解，我总以为郝维仙小姐已经把我们配成一对，而你是身不由己，所以我才没有说。不过，现在我一定要说了。”
埃斯苔娜的脸上依然毫无情感流露，她的手指仍然在编织着，只是把头摇了两下。
“我明白，”对着她的摇头，我说道，“我明白，埃斯苔娜，我不能指望你是我的，不久以后我究竟会怎么样，我心中无数；我会穷到什么田地，我会去何处谋生，我都心中无数。不过，我仍然爱着你，自从在这个屋子里第一次和你相遇开始，我一直爱着你。”
她依旧毫不动情地望着我，两只手忙着编织，并且又摇了摇头。
“郝维仙小组如果早就知道她所做的一切有如此的后果，而有意玩弄一个穷孩子的感情，在这么多年当中用虚无飘渺的希望和劳而无效的追求折磨我，这未免残忍了点儿。而且是太残忍了。我想郝维仙小姐未必早就知道这问题。我想，埃斯苔娜，她由于自己忍受着折磨，所以忘记了我的被折磨。”
这时只见郝维仙小姐把她的手放在心口，并按在那儿不动。她坐在那儿，轮流地看着我和埃斯苔娜。
埃斯苔娜答道，态度十分冷静平和：“看来，世界上还有那么点儿情感或者幻想，我也说不上该叫它们什么，也对它们捉摸不透。你说你爱我，我懂得你说的意思，但只是词面上的意思，而没有其他意义。可是你没有唤起我的共鸣，你没有触动我的心弦，我根本没有把你的话放在心上。我一直都设法在警告你，我警告过你没有？”
我非常可怜地答道：“有。”
“是啊，你就是不听我的劝告，总是以为我讲是讲，做是做。现在，你是不是仍然这样想呢？”
“我是这样认为的，我也希望你讲是讲，做是做。埃斯苔娜！你如此年轻，缺乏人生经验，又貌似天仙，你不可能有这种性格啊！”
“这就是我内心的本性，”她答道，并且加重了语气，“这就是我内心已形成的性格。我和你说到这点，已经说明我对待你和对待所有其他的人不同了。我也只能做到如此。”
“本特莱•德鲁莫尔正在镇里，他追求你这不是真的吗？”
“这是千真万确的。”她答道，用非常轻视和冷淡的语气提到他。
“你鼓励他，助长他的兴趣，和他同去遛马，今天他还要到这里来吃饭，有这事吗？”
我了解得如此清楚，这似乎使她大吃一惊，但她答道：“的确有这事。”
“埃斯苔娜，你不会爱上他吧？”
这时她的手才第一次停下了编织，她愤怒地对我说道：“我过去和你说过什么？难道你还是这样想，以为我说归说，做归做？”
“埃斯苔娜，你不会和他结婚吧？”
她望了一下郝维仙小姐，手中拿着活儿考虑了一下，然后说道：“为什么不能告诉你真话呢？我正准备和他结婚。”
我把头低下来，双手掩住面孔，尽量地控制住自己。虽然她说的这些话给了我莫大的痛苦，可是我还没有哭，出乎她们的意料之外。我把头抬起来，看到郝维仙小姐的面孔形如鬼魂。我当时虽然情感冲动、痛苦万分，而她的形象却仍使我惊得非同小可。
“埃斯苔娜，最亲爱最亲爱的埃斯苔娜，千万不要让郝维仙小姐牵着你的鼻子走向致命的道路。你可以把我抛弃，其实我知道你已经把我抛弃了；不过我希望你要嫁人至少嫁一个比德鲁莫尔品质好一些的人。郝维仙小姐要你嫁给他，目的是为了对许多品质比德鲁莫尔好得多而又爱慕你的人，对一些真心诚意爱你的人表示轻蔑，并伤透他们的心。在那些真心诚意爱你的人当中，至少你总能找到一个对你真情实意的人。虽然他不像我这样爱你如此长久，但你可以接受他的爱，嫁给他，我为了你也能忍受得了！”
我的真心诚意唤醒了她的惊异，只要她感到有那么一点儿对我的理解，她的心就该表现出一些同情。
“我就要和他结婚，”她用温和一些的语调对我说，“结婚的准备工作正在进行之中，我很快就要嫁出去了。你为什么冤枉我的养母呢？这件事是由我自己做主的。”
“埃斯苔娜，你竟然自己做主让自己委身于一头野兽？”
“那么我应该委身于谁呢？”她微笑着反问我道，“难道我要把自己嫁给一个心猿意马的人，要不了多久就把我当作废物扔掉的人（假如天下有如此之人）？行了！一切都定了。我会过得满意的，我的丈夫也会过得满意的。至于你刚才所说，郝维仙小姐牵着我的鼻子把我引向致命的道路，其实她倒是要我等等再说，暂时不结婚；而我自己对生活感到厌倦，简直没有什么乐趣，愿意尽可能地改变一下生活，所以决定结婚。不必多说了，我们永远也不会相互理解的。”
我绝望地说道：“这么一头低贱的野兽！你竟然嫁给这么一头愚笨的野兽！”
“你不必担心，我不会让他幸福的，”埃斯苔娜说道，“我肯定不会让他幸福的。来，让我们握手道别吧，你这个喜欢梦想的孩子，喔，是个大人了。”
“噢，埃斯苔娜！”我回答时伤心的泪珠忍不住落到了她的手上，“如果我继续住在英国，如果我在英国还能够出人头地，一想到你竟然是德鲁莫尔的妻子，我怎能忍受？”
“一点意思也没有，”她说道，“简直是废话，你很快就会忘得一干二净。”
“埃斯苔娜，不会的。”
“只要一个星期，我就会在你的脑中消失了。”
“在我脑中消失！你是我存在的一个部分，你就是我自身的一个部分。自从我第一次来到这里，我这个粗野的乡下孩子虽然这颗可怜的心被你伤透，可是每当我读书时，字里行间便会跳出你的影子。我观赏景色时，无论是大河之上，河上漂浮的船帆，无际的沼泽地，天空中的云彩，那白日的亮光，那夜晚的黑暗，那狂风，那森林，那大海，那街道，哪一个景色中不会出现你的身影？你是我美丽幻想的化身，深藏在我的内心，是我心灵中永远的友伴。就说伦敦最坚固的建筑基村——石头吧，也比不上你的手那样真实，也比不上你的手那样无可代替，比不上你的形象，远远没有你对我的影响大。你无处不在，你将永远留在我的心间，埃斯苔娜，即使到了我生命的最后时刻，你仍然是我人格的一部分，我身上如有一点优点，你就是优点的一部分；我身上如有一丝缺陷，你就是缺陷的一部分。不过，我们这次分手，我只能记住你的优点，并且我将永远忠贞不渝地记住你的优点。你给了我伤害，但你给了我更多的友善。现在，我内心感到多么深刻的痛苦，就像尖刀割着我的心。哦上帝，愿上帝赐福于你，愿上帝原宥你的一切！”
我简直不明白我怎么会沉入如此不幸的颠狂之中，说出如此颠三倒四的话。这是我心房里的狂想，就像鲜血从内在的创口中涌出。我捧着她的手靠近我的双唇，亲吻了片刻，然后向她告别。但自此以后，每每我回忆起那个时刻（不久以后我有充分的理由去回忆它）的情景，埃斯苔娜只是用她那不太相信的神态凝视着我，而郝维仙小姐依然形如克魂，一只手按在胸口，似乎一切都变成了她阴森可怕的目光，包含了多少同情和多少悔恨。
一切均已结束，一切均已消逝！彻底的结束，彻底的消逝。我怀着如此的心情走出了大门，白天的光辉似乎比我来的时候暗淡，抹上了一道黝黑的色彩。我一头钻进小巷，在这些后街静巷中转来转去了好一会儿，然后举步向伦敦方向走去。这时，我已经从失常的心态中苏醒，再不想回到蓝野猪饭店去看到德鲁莫尔。我也无法忍受乘坐马车回伦敦，以及车上旅客的絮语，所以最好还是步行回伦敦，即使跑个筋疲力尽也是个痛快。
直到午夜刚过，我才抵达伦敦桥。过了桥，我便走进了错综曲折的小巷。在当时这些小巷可以直通伦敦西区，小街小巷就靠近河的北岸。我回到寺区最近的路就是沿河而行，经过怀特弗拉埃路。赫伯特知道我明天回来，说不定已经睡觉，但是我带了钥匙，可以不惊动他自己开门进去休息。
我过去几乎没有在寺区的怀特弗拉埃路上的栅门关闭后回来过，何况这次全身污泥、精疲力竭，所以弄得守夜人不得不仔仔细细地打量了我一番，我对此也没有反感。这之后他才打开一道门缝放我进去。我担心他一时想不起我，干脆报名而人。
“先生，我想是你，不过我说不准。这里有一封给你的信。送信的人说，务必请你就在灯光下读一下。”
这个要求使我非常吃惊。我把信接过来，信封上的确写着“菲利普•皮普先生亲启”的字样，而且在信封的顶端写着：“就在这里阅信”。于是，我把信拆开，守夜人在一边把灯光举向我。我读着信纸上的内容，是温米克的手笔，他写着几个字：“千万别回家。”
Chapter 45
TURNING from the Temple gate as soon as I had read the warning, I made the best of my way to Fleet-street, and there got a late hackney chariot and drove to the Hummums in Covent Garden. In those times a bed was always to be got there at any hour of the night, and the chamberlain, letting me in at his ready wicket, lighted the candle next in order on his shelf, and showed me straight into the bedroom next in order on his list. It was a sort of vault on the ground floor at the back, with a despotic monster of a four-post bedstead in it, straddling over the whole place, putting one of his arbitrary legs into the fire-place and another into the doorway, and squeezing the wretched little washing-stand in quite a Divinely Righteous manner. 
As I had asked for a night-light, the chamberlain had brought me in, before he left me, the good old constitutional rush-light of those virtuous days - an object like the ghost of a walking-cane, which instantly broke its back if it were touched, which nothing could ever be lighted at, and which was placed in solitary confinement at the bottom of a high tin tower, perforated with round holes that made a staringly wide-awake pattern on the walls. When I had got into bed, and lay there footsore, weary, and wretched, I found that I could no more close my own eyes than I could close the eyes of this foolish Argus. And thus, in the gloom and death of the night, we stared at one another.
What a doleful night! How anxious, how dismal, how long!There was an inhospitable smell in the room, of cold soot and hot dust; and, as I looked up into the corners of the tester over my head, I thought what a number of blue-bottle flies from the butchers', and earwigs from the market, and grubs from the country, must be holding on up there, lying by for next summer. This led me to speculate whether any of them ever tumbled down, and then I fancied that I felt light falls on my face - disagreeable turn of thought, suggesting other and more objectionable approaches up my back. When I had lain awake a little while, those extraordinary voices with which silence teems, began to make themselves audible. The closet whispered, the fireplace sighed, the little washing-stand ticked, and one guitar-string played occasionally in the chest of drawers. At about the same time, the eyes on the wall acquired a new expression, and in every one of those staring rounds I saw written,DON'T GO HOME.
Whatever night-fancies and night-noises crowded on me, they never warded off thisDON'T GO HOME. It plaited itself into whatever I thought of, as a bodily pain would have done. Not long before, I had read in the newspapers, how a gentleman unknown had come to the Hummums in the night, and had gone to bed, and had destroyed himself, and had been found in the morning weltering in blood. It came into my head that he must have occupied this very vault of mine, and I got out of bed to assure myself that there were no red marks about; then opened the door to look out into the passages, and cheer myself with the companionship of a distant light, near which I knew the chamberlain to be dozing. But all this time, why I was not to go home, and what had happened at home, and when I should go home, and whether Provis was safe at home, were questions occupying my mind so busily, that one might have supposed there could be no more room in it for any other theme. Even when I thought of Estella, and how we had parted that day for ever, and when I recalled all the circumstances of our parting, and all her looks and tones, and the action of her fingers while she knitted - even then I was pursuing, here and there and everywhere, the caution Don't go home. When at last I dozed, in sheer exhaustion of mind and body, it became a vast shadowy verb which I had to conjugate. Imperative mood, present tense: Do not thou go home, let him not go home, let us not go home, do not ye or you go home, let not them go home. Then, potentially: I may not and I cannot go home; and I might not, could not, would not, and should not go home; until I felt that I was going distracted, and rolled over on the pillow, and looked at the staring rounds upon the wall again.
I had left directions that I was to be called at seven; for it was plain that I must see Wemmick before seeing any one else, and equally plain that this was a case in which his Walworth sentiments, only, could be taken. It was a relief to get out of the room where the night had been so miserable, and I needed no second knocking at the door to startle me from my uneasy bed.
The Castle battlements arose upon my view at eight o'clock. The little servant happening to be entering the fortress with two hot rolls, I passed through the postern and crossed the drawbridge, in her company, and so came without announcement into the presence of Wemmick as he was making tea for himself and the Aged. An open door afforded a perspective view of the Aged in bed.
`Halloa, Mr Pip!' said Wemmick. `You did come home, then?'
`Yes,' I returned; `but I didn't go home.'
`That's all right,' said he, rubbing his hands. `I left a note for you at each of the Temple gates, on the chance. Which gate did you come to?'
I told him.
`I'll go round to the others in the course of the day and destroy the notes,' said Wemmick; `it's a good rule never to leave documentary evidence of you can help it, because you don't know when it may be put in. I'm going to take a liberty with you. - Would you mind toasting this sausage for the Aged P.?'
I said I should be delighted to do it.
`Then you can go about your work, Mary Anne,' said Wemmick to the little servant; `which leaves us to ourselves, don't you see, Mr Pip?' he added, winking, as she disappeared.
I thanked him for his friendship and caution, and our discourse proceeded in a low tone, while I toasted the Aged's sausage and he buttered the crumb of the Aged's roll.
`Now, Mr Pip, you know,' said Wemmick, `you and I understand one another. We are in our private and personal capacities, and we have been engaged in a confidential transaction before today. Official sentiments are one thing. We are extra official.'
I cordially assented. I was so very nervous, that I had already lighted the Aged's sausage like a torch, and been obliged to blow it out.
`I accidentally heard, yesterday morning,' said Wemmick, `being in a certain place where I once took you - even between you and me, it's as well not to mention names when avoidable--'
`Much better not,' said I. `I understand you.'
`I heard there by chance, yesterday morning,' said Wemmick, `that a certain person not altogether of uncolonial pursuits, and not unpossessed of portable property - I don't know who it may really be - we won't name this person--'
`Not necessary,' said I.
` - had made some little stir in a certain part of the world where a good many people go, not always in gratification of their own inclinations, and not quite irrespective of the government expense--'
In watching his face, I made quite a firework of the Aged's sausage, and greatly discomposed both my own attention and Wemmick's; for which I apologized.
` - by disappearing from such place, and being no more heard of thereabouts. From which,' said Wemmick, `conjectures had been raised and theories formed. I also heard that you at your chambers in Garden-court, Temple, had been watched, and might be watched again.'
`By whom?' said I.
`I wouldn't go into that,' said Wemmick, evasively, `it might clash with official responsibilities. I heard it, as I have in my time heard other curious things in the same place. I don't tell it you on information received. I heard it.'
He took the toasting-fork and sausage from me as he spoke, and set forth the Aged's breakfast neatly on a little tray. Previous to placing it before him, he went into the Aged's room with a clean white cloth, and tied the same under the old gentleman's chin, and propped him up, and put his nightcap on one side, and gave him quite a rakish air. Then, he placed his breakfast before him with great care, and said, `All right, ain't you, Aged P.?' To which the cheerful Aged replied, `All right, John, my boy, all right!' As there seemed to be a tacit understanding that the Aged was not in a presentable state, and was therefore to be considered invisible, I made a pretence of being in complete ignorance of these proceedings.
`This watching of me at my chambers (which I have once had reason to suspect),' I said to Wemmick when he came back, `is inseparable from the person to whom you have adverted; is it?'
Wemmick looked very serious. `I couldn't undertake to say that, of my own knowledge. I mean, I couldn't undertake to say it was at first. But it either is, or it will be, or it's in great danger of being.'
As I saw that he was restrained by fealty to Little Britain from saying as much as he could, and as I knew with thankfulness to him how far out of his way he went to say what he did, I could not press him. But I told him, after a little meditation over the fire, that I would like to ask him a question, subject to his answering or not answering, as he deemed right, and sure that his course would be right. He paused in his breakfast, and crossing his arms, and pinching his shirt-sleeves (his notion of indoor comfort was to sit without any coat), he nodded to me once, to put my question.
`You have heard of a man of bad character, whose true name is Compeyson?'
He answered with one other nod.
`Is he living?'
One other nod.
`Is he in London?'
He gave me one other nod, compressed the post-office exceedingly, gave me one last nod, and went on with his breakfast.
`Now,' said Wemmick, `questioning being over;' which he emphasized and repeated for my guidance; `I come to what I did, after hearing what I heard. I went to Garden-court to find you; not finding you, I went to Clarriker's to find Mr Herbert.'
`And him you found?' said I, with great anxiety.
`And him I found. Without mentioning any names or going into any details, I gave him to understand that if he was aware of anybody - Tom, Jack, or Richard - being about the chambers, or about the immediate neighbourhood, he had better get Tom, Jack, or Richard, out of the way while you were out of the way.'
`He would be greatly puzzled what to do?'
`He was puzzled what to do; not the less, because I gave him my opinion that it was not safe to try to get Tom, Jack, or Richard, too far out of the way at present. Mr Pip, I'll tell you something. Under existing circumstances there is no place like a great city when you are once in it. Don't break cover too soon. Lie close. Wait till things slacken, before you try the open, even for foreign air.'
I thanked him for his valuable advice, and asked him what Herbert had done?
`Mr Herbert,' said Wemmick, `after being all of a heap for half an hour, struck out a plan. He mentioned to me as a secret, that he is courting a young lady who has, as no doubt you are aware, a bedridden Pa. Which Pa, having been in the Purser line of life, lies a-bed in a bow-window where he can see the ships sail up and down the river. You are acquainted with the young lady, most probably?'
`Not personally,' said I.
The truth was, that she had objected to me as an expensive companion who did Herbert no good, and that, when Herbert had first proposed to present me to her, she had received the proposal with such very moderate warmth, that Herbert had felt himself obliged to confide the state of the case to me, with a view to the lapse of a little time before I made her acquaintance. When I had begun to advance Herbert's prospects by Stealth, I had been able to bear this with cheerful philosophy; he and his affianced, for their part, had naturally not been very anxious to introduce a third person into their interviews; and thus, although I was assured that I had risen in Clara's esteem, and although the young lady and I had long regularly interchanged messages and remembrances by Herbert, I had never seen her. However, I did not trouble Wemmick with these particulars.
`The house with the bow-window,' said Wemmick, `being by the river-side, down the Pool there between Limehouse and Greenwich, and being kept, it seems, by a very respectable widow who has a furnished upper floor to let, Mr Herbert put it to me, what did I think of that as a temporary tenement for Tom, Jack, or Richard? Now, I thought very well of it, for three reasons I'll give you. That is to say. Firstly. It's altogether out of all your beats, and is well away from the usual heap of streets great and small. Secondly. Without going near it yourself, you could always hear of the safety of Tom, Jack, or Richard, through Mr Herbert. Thirdly. After a while and when it might be prudent, if you should want to slip Tom, Jack, or Richard, on board a foreign packet-boat, there he is - ready.'
Much comforted by these considerations, I thanked Wemmick again and again, and begged him to proceed.
`Well, sir! Mr Herbert threw himself into the business with a will, and by nine o'clock last night he housed Tom, Jack, or Richard - whichever it may be - you and I don't want to know - quite successfully. At the old lodgings it was understood that he was summoned to Dover, and in fact he was taken down the Dover road and cornered out of it. Now, another great advantage of all this, is, that it was done without you, and when, if any one was concerning himself about your movements, you must be known to be ever so many miles off and quite otherwise engaged. This diverts suspicion and confuses it; and for the same reason I recommended that even if you came back last night, you should not go home. It brings in more confusion, and you want confusion.'
Wemmick, having finished his breakfast, here looked at his watch, and began to get his coat on.
`And now, Mr Pip,' said he, with his hands still in the sleeves, `I have probably done the most I can do; but if I can ever do more - from a Walworth point of view, and in a strictly private and personal capacity - I shall be glad to do it. Here's the address. There can be no harm in your going here to-night and seeing for yourself that all is well with Tom, Jack, or Richard, before you go home - which is another reason for your not going home last night. But after you have gone home, don't go back here. You are very welcome, I am sure, Mr Pip;' his hands were now out of his sleeves, and I was shaking them; `and let me finally impress one important point upon you.' He laid his hands upon my shoulders, and added in a solemn whisper: `Avail yourself of this evening to lay hold of his portable property. You don't know what may happen to him. Don't let anything happen to the portable property.'
Quite despairing of making my mind clear to Wemmick on this point, I forbore to try.
`Time's up,' said Wemmick, `and I must be off. If you had nothing more pressing to do than to keep here till dark, that's what I should advise. You look very much worried, and it would do you good to have a perfectly quiet day with the Aged - he'll be up presently - and a little bit of - you remember the pig?'
`Of course,' said I.
`Well; and a little bit of him. That sausage you toasted was his, and he was in all respects a first-rater. Do try him, if it is only for old acquaintance sake. Good-bye, Aged Parent!' in a cheery shout.
`All right, John; all right, my boy!' piped the old man from within.
I soon fell asleep before Wemmick's fire, and the Aged and I enjoyed one another's society by falling asleep before it more or less all day. We had loin of pork for dinner, and greens grown on the estate, and I nodded at the Aged with a good intention whenever I failed to do it drowsily. When it was quite dark, I left the Aged preparing the fire for toast; and I inferred from the number of teacups, as well as from his glances at the two little doors in the wall, that Miss Skiffins was expected.
 
读完了这封警告的信，我立刻从寺区的门出来，匆忙选择了最佳路线直奔舰队街。在那里我乘上夜班出租马车，驶向沽文特国的黑蒙斯旅社。在那个年头，无论怎么晚，你都可以在这旅社找到床铺。旅社的账房先生把我从一个边门让进去，点亮了架子上最靠近的一支蜡烛，领我笔直走进牌子上标明的第一个房间。这是底楼的后房，就像一个地窖。那张床活像个专制魔鬼，四根柱子搭成的床架，四条腿占满了全部空间，一条蛮横的腿伸向壁炉，另一条腿伸到门口，那个神气简直威严无比、神圣不可侵犯，把小洗脸架挤在了一边，显得十分可怜。
我要账房先生给我拿个灯来，他拿来后便走了。在过去那种道德淳朴的时代，这灯具有独特的古风，十分雅致，蜡烛是用灯草芯制成的。这种东西活像一条手杖形式的幽灵，只要碰一下，它立刻便可变成两段。这根本是不能用来点灯的。这灯像一座高高的铁皮塔楼，中间的底座上插了一支孤零零的蜡烛，烛光从铁皮塔楼的小圆孔中射出，在墙上映上了一个鲜明得令人惊醒的影子。
我上了床，静躺在上面，两脚酸痛，全身疲倦，痛苦难挨。那个愚蠢的像百眼巨人一般的灯火不灭，我的双眼也难以合拢。在死寂般的黑夜与昏暗之中，我的双眼和那百眼巨人相互瞪着。
这是多么悲惨的黑夜！多么令人烦躁，多么令人心灰意冷，多么漫长的黑夜！房间里散发出一股混合着冷却的煤烟和火热的炉灰的味道，令人很不愉快；我的双眼搜寻着床顶上的角落，好像一队队从屠宰场飞来的绿头苍蝇，从市场上飞来的钻耳虫，从乡下爬来的蛆虫，都坚守在自己的岗位上，静等着下一个夏季的来到。这一切使我幻想突起，不知道什么东西会从上面滚落下来，忽然我就似乎觉得有东西竟轻轻地落到了我的脸上。这是很不愉快的念头，而且其他念头也接踵而至，仿佛又有什么东西爬上了我的背。我睁着双眼无眠地躺了一会儿，在寂静之中又出现了奇怪的响声，一切东西都在低语。壁橱轻轻说着话，壁炉发出叹息，小小的洗脸架也滴滴答答起来，抽屉里面似乎也偶然发出吉他琴弦的弹奏声。也就在同时，映照在墙上的百只巨眼也做出新的表情，每一只眼睛都瞪着，我仿佛从每一只眼睛里都看到五个大字：千万别回家。
不管什么夜间幻想，不管什么夜间幻听，无论它们怎样向我蜂拥而来，都不能把“千万别回家”的念头驱散。无论我在想什么，这几个字都会编织进我的思想中去，好像身体内在的隐病无法摆脱。不久之前，我在报纸上读到一则新闻，说有一位不知名姓的绅士，一天晚上在黑蒙斯旅社的床上结果了自己，直到第二天早晨才被发现躺在血泊之中。我的大脑又在思虑着，这个人一定就是住在我的这个房间，于是我从床上跳起，四面检查，都没有发现血迹，心里才安定下来；然后我又打开了房门，一直望到深深的过道，看到远处的灯尚在发出亮光，那位账房先生就在近处打瞌睡，这才使我放下心来。这时，我脑子里杂念四起，为什么我不能回家，家中究竟发生了什么事，什么时候我才能回家，普鲁威斯在家中是否安全，所有这些问题都忙碌地在我心中翻来覆去，任何其他的念头都无法在心中占上一席之地。甚至当我大脑中出现了埃斯苔娜的形象时，想起白天我俩相别，今后再不会相见，回忆起告别时的种种情形，她那栩栩如生的音容笑貌，她那编织绒衣时的十指动作，但我无论想到这里，想到那里，想通任何东西，“千万别回家”的警告都无法清除。最后我身心交瘁，眼睛自动闭上打起瞌睡来，然而又出现了一个巨大的动词阴影，我把它变成了现代时的命令句：你千万不能回家，不要让他回家，不要让我们回家，你们千万不能回家，不要让他们回家。接着，又隐隐地变成了不同语气的句子：我不可回家，我不能回家；我也许不可以、我也许不能、我不准备、我不该回家等等，一直弄得我心烦意乱，头在枕头上翻来转去，望着映照在墙上的那些百眼巨人睁得圆圆的百眼。
昨天晚上睡觉前我曾留下话，要他们在第二天早晨七时叫我，其道理是十分明白的，在和任何人打交道之前我必须先见到温米克；同样十分明白的是，我必得到伍尔华斯去体验他伍尔华斯的情感。次日一早，用不着账房先生敲第二下门，我就从不舒适的床上一跃而起，然后离开了这间使我一夜辗转不得安心的房间，心里感到轻松不少。
八时，我赶到了伍尔华斯，眼前出现了城堡雉谍。正巧遇到他家的小女仆手中拿着两个热气腾腾的面包圈走进这个要塞，我便和她一起从后门进去，通过了吊桥，用不着通报便来到温米克的面前，他这时正忙着为他自己和老人家煮茶。从开着的一扇门望去，老人家仍然睡在床上。
“喂，皮普先生！”温米克说道，“那么你回来了？”
“我回来了，”我答道，“但我没有回家。”
“那就好，”他拄着双手，说道，“我在寺区的每道栅门都留下一封信给你，以防万一。你是从哪道门进去的？”
我告诉他是哪道门。
“今天我还要抽空到寺区的各道栅门去走一趟，把那些信都销毁掉。”温米克说道，“这是个很好的原则，只要可能，尽量不让你的字据落在别人手上，因为你不知道哪一天会因此受到别人的利用。我想冒昧地请你做一件事，给老人家烤点腊肠，你不会介意吧。”
我说我很高兴为他效劳。
温米克对他的小女仆说道：“玛丽•安妮，你可以去做你的事了。”等她走了出去后，他对我眨眨眼，说道：“皮普先生，你明白了吗？现在就剩我们两人了。”
我因为他的友谊和细心关照而感谢他。我们低低地交谈着，同时我在给老人家烤腊肠，而他则为老人家的面包围上涂黄油。
“皮普先生，你知道，”温米克说道，“你我二人是相互理解的，我们是以私人和个人的身份交谈，在今天以前我们已经进行过一次秘密交易了。在办公室进行交易是一回事，而我们现在是在办公室以外。”
我打心底里同意他说的话。由于我过度的紧张，所以在火上把老人家的腊肠点着了，像个火把似的我不得不把它连忙吹熄。
“昨天早晨，我在一个地方偶然听到，”温米克说道，“这个地方我曾经带你去过，不过，即使在你我之间，能够避开不提地名，宁可不提为最好——”
“不提最好，”我说道，“我完全理解你的意思。”
“昨天早晨，我偶然在那个地方听说，”温米克说道，“有一个人和海外殖民地生意上有些往来，手边带了一些财产。我不能确切知道这个人是谁，我们还是不必提他的名姓——”
“没有必要提。”我说道。
“此人在海外的某个地方出了些小小的麻烦，这个地方许多人不是为满足个人的愿望而去的，而是非去不可，而是政府对此不能不管，开销也是政府的——”
由于我只顾盯住他的面孔，结果把老人家的腊肠烤得像放花炮一样劈劈啪啪地炸开了，弄得两人都心慌意乱，我既听不成，温米克也讲不成；我只得连忙道歉。
“——此人在那个地方突然不见了，以后再也没有他的消息。”温米克说道，“对他的失踪有各种各样的猜测，而且形成了几种说法。我听说你住的寺区花园里的几间屋子已经受到监视，并且还要监视下去。”
“被谁监视？”我说道。
“这我就没有深追下去，”温米克推诿地说道，“若要深追就和我的办事职责不相称了。我只是听说，因为在老地方我时常会听到一些奇怪的事情。我告诉你这些都不是什么可靠的情报，我只是听来的。”
他一面说着，一面从我手中接过烤叉和腊肠，把老人家的这份早餐齐齐整整地放在一只小盘子中。他没有把早餐端给老人家，而是先走进老人家的房间里，取出一块干净洁白的餐巾，把餐巾系在老先生的下巴上，又把他扶得坐好，再把他头上戴的睡帽取下放在一边，这一来老人显得精神起来。然后，他才把这份早餐端到老人面前，非常小心地放好，说道：“老爸爸，你一切都好吗？”老人家精神愉快地答道：“很好，约翰，我的儿子，很好！”这时无须言谈我明白老人家还没有穿好，本来还不能见客，所以我就装得没有看见，反正对这一切我都装得完全不知道。
“你说我住的房子受到监视这件事（其实我也曾经有过怀疑），”我等到温米克回来对他说，“是和你已经提到过的那个人有关系，是不是？”
温米克的表情这时很严肃。“根据我所知道的，我并不能担保就是说的那样，我是说，我不能担保一开始就是那样，不过有可能是那样或者将会是那样，或者，可以说大有那样的危险。”
我很清楚他必须对小不列颠街保守信义，所以在讲的时候也有所节制。其实他对我已是格外恩典地超出了范围，告诉我本来不可以讲的事情，我只有对他感激，而不能再逼他讲得更多。我面对火炉思考了片刻，然后对他说，我想问他一个问题，如果可以回答便回答，如果不可以回答便不回答，因为如果他认为对那就是对了，我相信他。他停下了早餐，两臂交叉一起，又把衬衫的袖子紧了一下。他有个看法，待在家里不穿外衣显得更舒适。他又向我点点头，意思是我不妨把问题提出来。
“有一个坏家伙康佩生，你听到过这个名字吗？”
他又点起头来，并用点头来作答。
“他活着吗？”
他又点了一下头。
“他在伦敦？”
他又对我点了一下头，把他那邮筒似的嘴抿得紧紧的，然后又点了点头，才继续吃他的早餐。
温米克说道：“现在你的问题提完了，”他加重语气地说着，而且又重复了一遍，以引起我的注意，“昨天我听到了那些话之后，我就想到我该做的事。我先到花园里去找你，没有找到你；我又到克拉利柯公司去找赫伯特先生。”
“你找到他了吗？”我心情十分焦急地问他。
“我找到了他。不过我没有提到什么名字，也没有谈什么细节。我只是让他知道，只要他晓得在你住的房子里或者在你住处附近住着这个人或那个人，他就得要注意，最好乘你在外面还没有回来的时候，把这个人或那个人搬到外面去住。”
“他一定惶恐不安、不知所措吧？”
“他确实惶恐不安、不知所措。我又告诉了他我个人的看法，现在要把这个人或那个人搬得太远也同样不安全。他一听就更不知所措了。皮普先生，我必须告诉你，照现在的形势看，住进了大城市有大城市的好处，的确没有别的地方比大城市更安全。千万不要很快地从隐蔽的地方飞出，先躲在一处再说，等事情缓和一些，总之不能出去透风，不能露面，即使海外的空气也得避一避。”
我感谢他的这一颇有价值的忠告，问他赫伯特已经采取了哪些措施。
温米克答道：“赫伯特先生嘛，先是吓成一团，大约过了半个小时，他想出了一个计划。他告诉我一个内心的秘密，说他正在向一位年轻的女士求婚，你自然是知道的，她有一位病在床上的爸爸。她的这位爸爸原来是航班上的事务长吧，现在躺在一扇罗汉肚窗前的病床上，可以看到河上来来往往的船只。你大概对这位年轻女士很熟悉吧？”
“我还没见过呢。”我答道。
我所以没见过她，是因为她反对赫伯特有我这么一个会花钱的朋友，认为我对赫伯特没有好处。在赫伯特第一次建议让我认识她时，她勉强得很，没有很大的热情和愿望，所以赫伯特不得不向我说明真相，建议再等一个时期，然后再和她相识。以后我开始秘密地帮助赫伯特建立他的事业，我怀着心甘情愿的思想等待着。在他和他未婚妻那方面，自然处在这时候是没有必要让第三者进入他们的圈子的。虽然我心中很清楚，我在克拉娜的心里所受到尊敬的地位已大有提高，这位年轻女士和我之间通过赫伯特经常交换问候，不过我们至今尚未见过面。当然，有关这方面的详细情况我无须向温米克一一细说。
温米克说道：“那个罗汉肚窗子的房屋位于泰晤士河岸，属于蒲耳地区，在贫民区和格林威治之间。屋主是一位非常受人们尊敬的寡妇。她屋子的楼上连同家具在内正想一起出租，赫伯特先生问我，把这一套房子租下来暂时让这个人或那个人住会怎么样。我想这倒很不错。我说不错有三个理由，也就是说，第一，这根本不是你常去的地方，又和伦敦热热闹闹的大街小巷距离很远；第二，你自己用不着到那里去，通过赫伯特先生，你完全可以知道这个人或那个人安全的消息；第三，等一个阶段，当一切考虑成熟，如果你把这个人或那个人送上一条外国邮轮，从那里就近上船是很方便的。”
温米克考虑得如此具体周到，我一次又一次地感谢他，请他再继续讲下去。
“好吧，先生！赫伯特先生便诚心诚意地包下了这件事。就在昨天晚上九时，他把这个人或那个人转移到了新居，至于这个或那个人究竟是谁，看来你我都不需要知道。这次他干得十分成功。至于原来的房子那里，只告诉房东因为受人邀请他要住到多维尔去了，其实他是被领着经过多维尔路，从拐角转进去就到了新居。这样做还有一个很大的优点，因为整个行动过程你都不在场，万一真有什么人在关怀着你的一言一行，你也不用操心，因为当时你远在数英里之外，而且正忙着别的事情。这就把一切都搞得蒙头转向，无法对你起疑。正因为这个理由，我才想出办法，如果你昨夜回家，我要你先不回家。这只会把事情弄得更加离奇，而你需要的正是这离奇，离奇对你有益。”
这时温米克吃完了早餐，看了一下他的表便开始穿外套。
“还有，皮普先生，”温米克的两只手还没有从袖子里伸出来时就说道，“我或许已经尽了我的最大能力来处理这件事：如果还要我帮忙的话，我也很高兴为你服务，当然这是从伍尔华斯的情感立场上说的，也就是从绝对的私人和个人的身份上我才这样做的。这是他的新地址，你拿着。今天晚上你在回家之前可以到这地方去，亲自看一看这个人或那个人究竟怎么样，这次去对你是无害的。对于你昨晚没有回家来说，这又是一条理由。不过，你回家之后就再不要去了。皮普先生，欢迎你再来。”这时他的两只手已经从袖管里伸了出来，我握住他的手。“最后我还要让你知道一个重要的看法，”他把两只手按在我的双肩上，严肃地低低对我说， “你要趁今天晚上这个机会把他带的财产拿到手，因为你不知道他什么时候会出问题。千万不要让这笔动产出意外。”
至于这一点，要让温米克了解我的心情是十分不可能的，我只得不说话。
温米克说道：“时间到了，我非走不可了。你如果没有什么急事要办，不妨待在这里到天黑再走，这是我的建议。你看上去忧愁不安，我看你还是留在这里和老人家一起安安静静地度过这一天。他马上就起床，就吃点——你没有忘记那头猪吧？”
“当然记得。”我说道。
“那就好了；你吃点这猪的肉。你刚才在火上烤的腊肠就是这猪的肉，无论从哪里看这猪都是第一流的。为了老相识的缘故，你得尝一下。再见，老爸爸！”他高兴地对老人家叫道。
“对极了，约翰；好极了，我的儿子！”老人家在里面房间尖声尖气地说着。
在温米克的壁炉边一会儿我便睡着了。老人家和我整天都守在壁炉的前面，一方面两人做伴，一方面就这样迷迷糊糊地似睡非睡地待在那里。我们中餐就吃这猪的里脊肉，蔬菜也是在他自己的园子里种的。我总是对老人家点着头，不是怀着善意地向他点头，就是打着瞌睡不自觉地点起头来。直到天完全变黑，我才起身告辞，让老人家自己添火烤面包片。根据他拿出来的茶怀数量，和他不时向墙上的两个小门张望的眼光，我推断，司琪芬小姐马上就要来了。
Chapter 46
EIGHT o'clock had struck before I got into the air that was scented, not disagreeably, by the chips and shavings of the long-shore boatbuilders, and mast oar and block makers. All that water-side region of the upper and lower Pool below Bridge, was unknown ground to me, and when I struck down by the river, I found that the spot I wanted was not where I had supposed it to be, and was anything but easy to find. It was called Mill Pond Bank, Chinks's Basin; and I had no other guide to Chinks's Basin than the Old Green Copper Rope-Walk. 
It matters not what stranded ships repairing in dry docks I lost myself among, what old hulls of ships in course of being knocked to pieces, what ooze and slime and other dregs of tide, what yards of ship-builders and ship-breakers, what rusty anchors blindly biting into the ground though for years off duty, what mountainous country of accumulated casks and timber, how many rope-walks that were not the Old Green Copper. After several times falling short of my destination and as often over-shooting it, I came unexpectedly round a corner, upon Mill Pond Bank. It was a fresh kind of place, all circumstances considered, where the wind from the river had room to turn itself round; and there were two or three trees in it, and there was the stump of a ruined windmill, and there was the Old Green Copper Rope-Walk - whose long and narrow vista I could trace in the moonlight, along a series of wooden frames set in the ground, that looked like superannuated haymaking-rakes which had grown old and lost most of their teeth.
Selecting from the few queer houses upon Mill Pond Bank, a house with a wooden front and three stories of bow-window (not bay-window, which is another thing), I looked at the plate upon the door, and read there, Mrs Whimple. That being the name I wanted, I knocked, and an elderly woman of a pleasant and thriving appearance responded. She was immediately deposed, however, by Herbert, who silently led me into the parlour and shut the door. It was an odd sensation to see his very familiar face established quite at home in that very unfamiliar room and region; and I found myself looking at him, much as I looked at the corner-cupboard with the glass and china, the shells upon the chimney-piece, and the coloured engravings on the wall, representing the death of Captain Cook, a ship-launch, and his Majesty King George the Third in a state-coachman's wig, leather-breeches, and top-boots, on the terrace at Windsor.
`All is well, Handel,' said Herbert, `and he is quite satisfied, though eager to see you. My dear girl is with her father; and if you'll wait till she comes down, I'll make you known to her, and then we'll go up-stairs. - That's her father.'
I had become aware of an alarming growling overhead, and had probably expressed the fact in my countenance.
`I am afraid he is a sad old rascal,' said Herbert, smiling, `but I have never seen him. Don't you smell rum? He is always as it.'
`At rum?' said I.
`Yes,' returned Herbert, `and you may suppose how mild it makes his gout. He persists, too, in keeping all the provisions upstairs in his room, and serving them out. He keeps them on shelves over his head, and will weigh them all. His room must be like a chandler's shop.'
While he thus spoke, the growling noise became a prolonged roar, and then died away.
`What else can be the consequence,' said Herbert, in explanation, `if he will cut the cheese? A man with the gout in his right hand - and everywhere else - can't expect to get through a Double Gloucester without hurting himself.'
He seemed to have hurt himself very much, for he gave another furious roar.
`To have Provis for an upper lodger is quite a godsend to Mrs Whimple,' said Herbert, `for of course people in general won't stand that noise. A curious place, Handel; isn't it?'
It was a curious place, indeed; but remarkably well kept and clean.
`Mrs Whimple,' said Herbert, when I told him so, `is the best of housewives, and I really do not know what my Clara would do without her motherly help. For, Clara has no mother of her own, Handel, and no relation in the world but old Gruffandgrim.'
`Surely that's not his name, Herbert?'
`No, no,' said Herbert, `that's my name for him. His name is Mr Barley. But what a blessing it is for the son of my father and mother, to love a girl who has no relations, and who can never bother herself, or anybody else, about her family!'
Herbert had told me on former occasions, and now reminded me, that he first knew Miss Clara Barley when she was completing her education at an establishment at Hammersmith, and that on her being recalled home to nurse her father, he and she had confided their affection to the motherly Mrs Whimple, by whom it had been fostered and regulated with equal kindness and discretion, ever since. It was understood that nothing of a tender nature could possibly be confided to old Barley, by reason of his being totally unequal to the consideration of any subject more psychological than Gout, Rum, and Purser's stores.
As we were thus conversing in a low tone while Old Barley's sustained growl vibrated in the beam that crossed the ceiling, the room door opened, and a very pretty slight dark-eyed girl of twenty or so, came in with a basket in her hand: whom Herbert tenderly relieved of the basket, and presented blushing, as `Clara.' She really was a most charming girl, and might have passed for a captive fairy, whom that truculent Ogre, Old Barley, had pressed into his service.
`Look here,' said Herbert, showing me the basket, with a compassionate and tender smile after we had talked a little; `here's poor Clara's supper, served out every night. Here's her allowance of bread, and here's her slice of cheese, and here's her rum - which I drink. This is Mr Barley's breakfast for to-morrow, served out to be cooked. Two mutton chops, three potatoes, some split peas, a little flour, two ounces of butter, a pinch of salt, and all this black pepper. It's stewed up together, and taken hot, and it's a nice thing for the gout, I should think!'
There was something so natural and winning in Clara's resigned way of looking at these stores in detail, as Herbert pointed them out, - and something so confiding, loving, and innocent, in her modest manner of yielding herself to Herbert's embracing arm - and something so gentle in her, so much needing protection on Mill Pond Bank, by Chinks's Basin, and the Old Green Copper Rope-Walk, with Old Barley growing in the beam - that I would not have undone the engagement between her and Herbert, for all the money in the pocket-book I had never opened.
I was looking at her with pleasure and admiration, when suddenly the growl swelled into a roar again, and a frightful bumping noise was heard above, as if a giant with a wooden leg were trying to bore it through the ceiling to come to us. Upon this Clara said to Herbert, `Papa wants me, darling!' and ran away.
`There is an unconscionable old shark for you!' said Herbert. `What do you suppose he wants now, Handel!?'
`I don't know,' said I. `Something to drink?'
`That's it!' cried Herbert, as if I had made a guess of extraordinary merit. `He keeps his grog ready-mixed in a little tub on the table. Wait a moment, and you'll hear Clara lift him up to take some. - There he goes!' Another roar, with a prolonged shake at the end. `Now,' said Herbert, as it was succeeded by silence, `he's drinking. Now,' said Herbert, as the growl resounded in the beam once more, `he's down again on his back!'
Clara returned soon afterwards, and Herbert accompanied me up-stairs to see our charge. As we passed Mr Barley's door, he was heard hoarsely muttering within, in a strain that rose and fell like wind, the following Refrain; in which I substitute good wishes for something quite the reverse.
`Ahoy! Bless your eyes, here's old Bill Barley. Here's old Bill Barley, bless your eyes. Here's old Bill Barley on the flat of his back, by the Lord. Lying on the flat of his back, like a drifting old dead flounder, here's your old Bill Barley, bless your eyes. Ahoy!Bless you.'
In this strain of consolation, Herbert informed me the invisible Barley would commune with himself by the day and night together; often while it was light, having, at the same time, one eye at a telescope which was fitted on his bed for the convenience of sweeping the river.
In his two cabin rooms at the top of the house, which were fresh and airy, and in which Mr Barley was less audible than below, I found Provis comfortably settled. He expressed no alarm, and seemed to feel none that was worth mentioning; but it struck me that he was softened - indefinably, for I could have said how, and could never afterwards recall how when I tried; but certainly.
The opportunity that the day's rest had given me for reflection, had resulted in my fully determining to say nothing to him respecting Compeyson. For anything I knew, his animosity towards the man might otherwise lead to his seeking him out and rushing on his own destruction. Therefore, when Herbert and I sat down with him by his fire, I asked him first of all whether he relied on Wemmick's judgment and sources of information?
`Ay, ay, dear boy!' he answered, with a grave nod, `Jaggers knows.'
`Then, I have talked with Wemmick,' said I, `and have come to tell you what caution he gave me and what advice.'
This I did accurately, with the reservation just mentioned; and I told him how Wemmick had heard, in Newgate prison (whether from officers or prisoners I could not say), that he was under some suspicion, and that my chambers had been watched; how Wemmick had recommended his keeping close for a time, and my keeping away from him; and what Wemmick had said about getting him abroad. I added, that of course, when the time came, I should go with him, or should follow close upon him, as might be safest in Wemmick's judgment. What was to follow that, I did not touch upon; neither indeed was I at all clear or comfortable about it in my own mind, now that I saw him in that softer condition, and in declared peril for my sake. As to altering my way of living, by enlarging my expenses, I put it to him whether in our present unsettled and difficult circumstances, it would not be simply ridiculous, if it were no worse?
He could not deny this, and indeed was very reasonable throughout. His coming back was a venture, he said, and he had always known it to be a venture. He would do nothing to make it a desperate venture, and he had very little fear of his safety with such good help.
Herbert, who had been looking at the fire and pondering, here said that something had come into his thoughts arising out of Wemmick's suggestion, which it might be worth while to pursue. `We are both good watermen, Handel, and could take him down the river ourselves when the right time comes. No boat would then be hired for the purpose, and no boatmen; that would save at least a chance of suspicion, and any chance is worth saving. Never mind the season; don't you think it might be a good thing if you began at once to keep a boat at the Temple stairs, and were in the habit of rowing up and down the river? You fall into that habit, and then who notices or minds? Do it twenty or fifty times, and there is nothing special in your doing it the twenty-first or fifty-first.'
I liked this scheme, and Provis was quite elated by it. We agreed that it should be carried into execution, and that Provis should never recognize us if we came below Bridge and rowed past Mill Pond Bank. But, we further agreed that he should pull down the blind in that part of his window which gave upon the east, whenever he saw us and all was right.
Our conference being now ended, and everything arranged, I rose to go; remarking to Herbert that he and I had better not go home together, and that I would take half an hour's start of him. `I don't like to leave you here,' I said to Provis, `though I cannot doubt your being safer here than near me. Good-bye!'
`Dear boy,' he answered, clasping my hands, `I don't know when we may meet again, and I don't like Good-bye. Say Good Night!'
`Good night! Herbert will go regularly between us, and when the time comes you may be certain I shall be ready. Good night, Good night!'
We thought it best that he should stay in his own rooms, and we left him on the landing outside his door, holding a light over the stair-rail to light us down stairs. Looking back at him, I thought of the first night of his return when our positions were reversed, and when I little supposed my heart could ever be as heavy and anxious at parting from him as it was now.
Old Barley was growling and swearing when we repassed his door, with no appearance of having ceased or of meaning to cease. When we got to the foot of the stairs, I asked Herbert whether he had preserved the name of Provis. He replied, certainly not, and that the lodger was Mr Campbell. He also explained that the utmost known of Mr Campbell there, was, that he (Herbert) had Mr Campbell consigned to him, and felt a strong personal interest in his being well cared for, and living a secluded life. So, when we went into the parlour where Mrs Whimple and Clara were seated at work, I said nothing of my own interest in Mr Campbell, but kept it to myself.
When I had taken leave of the pretty gentle dark-eyed girl, and of the motherly woman who had not outlived her honest sympathy with a little affair of true love, I felt as if the Old Green Copper Rope-Walk had grown quite a different place. Old Barley might be as old as the hills, and might swear like a whole field of troopers, but there were redeeming youth and trust and hope enough in Chinks's Basin to fill it to overflowing. And then I thought of Estella, and of our parting, and went home very sadly.
All things were as quiet in the Temple as ever I had seen them. The windows of the rooms of that side, lately occupied by Provis, were dark and still, and there was no lounger in Garden-court. I walked past the fountain twice or thrice before I descended the steps that were between me and my rooms, but I was quite alone. Herbert coming to my bedside when he came in - for I went straight to bed, dispirited and fatigued - made the same report. Opening one of the windows after that, he looked out into the moonlight, and told me that the pavement was a solemnly empty as the pavement of any Cathedral at that same hour.
Next day, I set myself to get the boat. It was soon done, and the boat was brought round to the Temple stairs, and lay where I could reach her within a minute or two. Then, I began to go out as for training and practice: sometimes alone, sometimes with Herbert. I was often out in cold, rain, and sleet, but nobody took much note of me after I had been out a few times. At first, I kept above Blackfriars Bridge; but as the hours of the tide changed, I took towards London Bridge. It was Old London Bridge in those days, and at certain states of the tide there was a race and fall of water there which gave it a bad reputation. But I knew well enough how to `shoot' the bridge after seeing it done, and so began to row about among the shipping in the Pool, and down to Erith. The first time I passed Mill Pond Bank, Herbert and I were pulling a pair of oars; and, both in going and returning, we saw the blind towards the east come down. Herbert was rarely there less frequently than three times in a week, and he never brought me a single word of intelligence that was at all alarming. Still, I knew that there was cause for alarm, and I could not get rid of the notion of being watched. Once received, it is a haunting idea; how many undesigning persons I suspected of watching me, it would be hard to calculate.
In short, I was always full of fears for the rash man who was in hiding. Herbert had sometimes said to me that he found it pleasant to stand at one of our windows after dark, when the tide was running down, and to think that it was flowing, with everything it bore, towards Clara. But I thought with dread that it was flowing towards Magwitch, and that any black mark on its surface might be his pursuers, going swiftly, silently, and surely, to take him.
 
时钟刚敲八时，我走进一处地方，空气中散发着锯木屑和刨花的气味，倒并不难闻，原来气味都是从长长河岸上的许多制造小船、船桅、船桨以及刹车的作坊中散发出的。泰晤士河伦敦桥的东岸蒲耳地区上上下下是一片水网地带，我对它是一点也不熟悉。我沿河而下，发现我所要找的地方并不是我原先设想的地方，实在很不容易找。这个地名是凹湾磨坊河滨。我不知道四湾怎么去，但我知道有一条老青铜制索走道通向那里。那儿是一片干燥的船坞，堆着许许多多船只准备修理，而我就在其中迷失了方向。这边放着许多的船壳，准备一件件一片片拆开，那儿堆着由海浪冲来的污泥、粘土、垃圾，到处是造新船、拆旧船的地方，一些生锈的铁锚一头插在地上，多少年未发挥用处了，还有乱七八糟的木桶、木材，堆得像一座小山。那里有许多制索走道，就是没有老青铜制索走道。我几次找来找去都扑了空，却踏破铁鞋无觅处，得来全不费功夫，一转拐角突然发现已到了磨坊河滨。这个地方从环境来看，是个空气清新的所在，河上吹来的清风在这里旋转着，其间还立着两三株树，遗留下一架已毁坏的风车残迹。这里就是老青铜制索走道，在月光下我尚能欣赏这又长又狭的夜景，一系列的木质船架都陷在地里，顺着船架走去，它们就像一些年代已久的干草耙子，不仅又老又朽，而且连耙齿都掉得差不多了。
在磨坊河滨上有几幢奇形怪状的房子，我发现其中有一幢建筑，前面有木门，带有罗汉肚窗的三层楼（这不是带棱角的窗子，而是另一种形式的）。我看到门上有牌子，写着蕴普尔夫人的字样。这正是我要找的屋子，于是我便上前敲门。一位稍年长的妇女应声而来，面容上和颜悦色，外表上雍容华贵。她开了门后便立刻退去，代之而出的是赫伯特，他悄悄把我领到客厅，随手把门关上。我看到他这张熟悉的面孔出现在这个很不熟悉的房间里，在这个很不熟悉的地方，而他竟对这里十分了解，这真令我十分奇怪。我一会儿望着他，一会儿望着放在角落里的橱子，里面放着杯子和瓷器，望着放在壁炉架上的贝壳，还有挂在墙上的彩色雕刻，一幅是柯克船长之死，一幅是新船下水，还有一幅是乔治三世国王陛下，戴着马车夫式的假发，身着皮短裤，脚登长统靴，站在温莎宫的阳台上。
“汉德尔，一切都很顺利，”赫伯特说道，“他很满意，不过他渴望见到你。我亲爱的女友和她的父亲住在楼上，只要你等得及，她自会下来的，我介绍你认识她，然后我们到楼上去。——听，那就是她父亲。”
我这时听到楼上传出惊人的叫喊声，我的脸上大概表现出了惊讶的神色。
“在我看来，他恐怕是一个糟透了的老坏蛋，”赫伯特微笑着说道，“不过我还没有见到过他。你问到朗姆酒的味道吗？他一天到晚和朗姆酒做伴。”
“和朗姆酒做伴？”我说道。
“是啊，”赫伯特答道，“你可以想一下，这朗姆酒怎么能缓减他的痛风病呢，可他还是坚持把吃喝的东西放在楼上自己的房间中，由他定时定量拿出来。他把这些东西放在头顶上的架子上，无论什么都要过秤。他的屋子就像一个杂货铺。”
他说这话时，上面传出来的吼叫变成了长长的怒吼，然后才趋于平静。
赫伯特又说道：“他偏要自己切乳酪，怎么能不得到这个结果呢？他的右手得了痛风病，其实他全身都有痛风病，又偏要自己切一块双层葛罗斯特乳酪，怎么能不伤到自己呢？”
现在他好像又割伤了自己，因为他又发出了一声猛烈的吼叫。
“有像普鲁威斯这样的房客住在楼上真是老天赐给蕴普尔夫人的福气，”赫伯特说道，“因为常人一般都忍受不了这种吵闹。汉德尔，这是个奇怪的地方，对不对？”
这的确是个神秘奇怪的地方，不过这里倒收拾得整整齐齐、干干净净。
我把自己的想法告诉了赫伯特，他说道：“蕴普尔夫人是一位非常好的家庭主妇，我想要是我的克拉娜没有得到她像母亲般的慈爱关照，真不知道会怎么样。克拉娜早就失去了母亲，汉德尔，她在这个世界上孤零零无亲无故，要说有，就是这个凶狠暴怒的老父亲。”
“赫伯特，他的名字可不会是凶狠暴怒吧？”
“不，不是，”赫伯特说道，“这是我随便说说。他是巴莱先生。想想我父母有我这个儿子，竟然爱上了这位无亲无故的姑娘。她不需要为自己操心，也不需要别人来为她的家庭操心，这可不是我的福分吗？”
赫伯特现在一语提醒了我，其实他过去就已经告诉过我，他最初认识克拉娜•巴莱小姐的时候，正是她在汉莫史密斯的一所学校完成教育的那年，后来她便回到家里侍奉父亲。赫伯特和她向蕴普尔夫人吐露了他们二人的情感，蕴普尔夫人像母亲一样慈爱地关怀着他们。自从那时以来，蕴普尔夫人帮助他们培育了感情，对待他们既慈爱又照顾周到。可是，半点儿带有情感色彩的事都不能向巴莱老头儿吐露，他只知道自己的痛风病、喜欢喝的朗姆酒和航班事务长的储藏室，任何有点心理色彩的事他全然不考虑。
我们在楼下低声谈着话，而巴莱老头儿在楼上连声大叫，叫得使天花板上的横梁都震动起来。这时房门一开，一位十分秀丽的姑娘走了进来，身段苗条，两眼乌黑，年龄在二十岁上下，手上拎着一个篮子。赫伯特一见赶忙上前，柔情地接过篮子，脸上出现一道羞红，说这是克拉娜。她确是一位妩媚动人的姑娘，真像是一位仙女，可惜被巴莱老头这个残忍的食人魔鬼抓来，听他使唤。
我们谈了一会儿之后，赫伯特露出柔情怜爱的微笑，说道：“你看，这就是可怜的克拉娜的晚餐，每天晚上就给她这么点儿。这么一点儿面包，这么一片干酪，还有这么一点儿朗姆酒，不过酒都是我喝的。而这些却是巴莱先生明天的早餐，拿下来准备明火烧煮的：两块羊排骨。一堆去壳豌豆、一些面粉、两盎司黄油、一点儿盐，还有这些黑胡椒。这些东西混在一起煮，然后热腾腾地吃下去，我看这可真是治疗痛风病的好东西！”
克拉娜按着赫伯特指着的顺序用眼睛一样样地看着，那种神态不仅自然，而且迷人可爱。赫伯特用手臂搂着她的腰，她半带着羞容任他搂着，表现得那么诚挚，那么惹人爱怜，又那么纯真，显出一片温柔。然而，她竟住在凹湾的磨坊河滨，位于老青铜制索走道旁，陪伴着成天吼叫的巴莱老头，看来她多么需要保护啊！她和赫伯特之间的美满姻缘决不能拆散；为了他们我那尚未打开的皮夹里的钱都可以不要。
我正怀着愉快和羡慕的心情在欣赏着她时，突然楼上的吼声变成了乱跳乱叫，随着又响起了可怕的砰砰之声，仿佛有一个装着木腿的巨人正准备蹬破天花板，想从上面向我们扑下来。克拉娜一听到这声音便对赫伯特说道：“亲爱的，爸爸要我去！”说完便奔了出去。
“这个没有良心、贪得无厌的老家伙！”赫伯特说道，“汉德尔，你猜他现在想要干什么？”
“我说不清，”我说道，“也许想喝些什么吧？”
“你猜中了！”赫伯特大声嚷道，仿佛我已经猜中了一件格外重要的事一样。“其实他的酒早就调制好了，放在桌上的一个小桶里。等一会儿，你就会听到克拉娜扶他起来喝酒的声音。听，他起来了2”一声吼叫响起，末尾拖着颤音。赫伯特说道：“现在，”吼声后是一片寂静，“他正在喝酒。”一会儿屋梁上又响起了吼叫声，赫伯特说道：“现在他又躺上了床。”
没有多久克拉娜回来了，于是赫伯特陪着我上楼去探望我们的被保护人。我们经过巴莱先生的房间时，听到他用嘶哑的声音哼着一首小调，忽高忽低地很像一阵风。我记下了这首小调，不过其中的意思我已经改了，改成了良好的祝愿。
“喂，啊嗬！这里是比尔•巴莱老头，愿上帝保佑。这里是比尔•巴莱老头，愿上帝保佑。这里是比尔•巴莱老头，以主的名义，他正躺在床上。躺在床上，像一条已死去的漂在水上的老比目鱼。这就是你的比尔•巴莱老头，愿上帝保佑！喂，啊嗬，愿上帝保佑。”
赫伯特告诉我，这位你永远见不到的巴莱老头日日夜夜哼着这个曲调，并以此来自慰，一面自己想心思。只要天空有亮光，在一面哼一面自得其乐的时刻，他便会将一只眼睛对着设在床上的望远镜，方便自如地观赏河上的一派风光。
在这座屋子的顶屋有两个房间，空气流通，有一种新鲜感。住在里面和住在底层不同，这里不大听得到巴莱老头的狂呼怒吼。我看到普鲁威斯正舒舒服服地住在这里。他看到我并没有表现出惊奇，似乎没有感到有什么值得惊奇的地方。而我却感到他变温和了，当然我也说不清他怎么会变得温和了，以后我尽量回忆，都无法说清，总之，他确实是温和了。
白天的休息使我有了机会好好反省和思考，又使我有充分理由地决定，对普鲁威斯一字不提康佩生这个名字。因为我知道，他与这个人有不共戴天之仇，一提便会促使他出外寻找，甚至自己在粗鲁的行动中毁灭了自己。所以，赫怕特、我与他一起坐在火炉边时，我首先问他，是不是相信温米克的判断，相信他的消息来源？
“噢，当然，亲爱的孩子！”他严肃地点着头，答道，“贾格斯不糊涂。”
“我已经和温米克交谈过，”我说道，“我这次来是为了告诉你温米克提醒我注意的事，以及他的建议和忠告。”
我告诉他时是很有分寸的，当然刚才所说的康佩生这个名字是放在心里绝对不提的。我告诉他温米克在新门监狱听到人们的反映（究竟是管监狱的人的反映还是犯人们的反映，我就说不清了），说他已经受到怀疑，而且我所住的地方已在监视之中，因此，温米克建议他隐匿一个时期，而我也得和他分开。我告诉他，温米克还建议他到国外去，并且补充说，当然，时间一到我会同他一起出国，或者他先去，我会跟着去。这一切都要按照温米克的意见，要从安全着手。出国以后该怎么样，这一点我没有提到，一来我自己对这些事还没有理出头绪，心里不踏实；二来我看到他已变得温和起来，却为了我遇上了不可避免的危险。至于我改变生活方式以及过更为阔气的生活一事，我对他说，如今我们的处境既不安定，又随时会遇到艰险，如果再讲排场铺张浪费，不仅是荒唐可笑，而且会把事弄糟。
对于我说的一切他都不否认，而且从头至尾都是很讲情理的。他说他这次回来是冒险行为，实际上他早就知道这是一次冒险行为。当然，他说他不会不顾死活地去冒险，但他也不担心，有如此好的措施协助他，他会安全无事的。
赫伯特这时一直凝视着炉火，同时思考着。他也说温米克的建议对他有启发，他也想到了一个主意，不妨研究一下，也许是有价值的。“汉德尔，我们两个人都是优秀的划船手，一待时机成熟，我们自己就可以把他从这条河送出去。我们不需要雇船来完成这件事，也不需要雇船夫，至少这样做可以省去被人怀疑的麻烦，任何情况我们都需要防范到。至于是不是划船季节倒不用介意，你不妨去买一条船来，停在寺区的小码头旁，可以不时地沿河划来划去，你看这个办法好不好？一旦你养成了划船习惯，谁还会注意你呢？你划了二十次或者五十次，等你划到第二十一次或第五十一次的时候，人家是不会感到奇怪的。”
我非常喜欢这个计划，普鲁威斯也因此快乐得手舞足蹈。我们大家一致认为，这个计划应立刻开始施行。每逢我们划经桥下，划过磨坊河滨时，普鲁威斯千万不能和我们打招呼。我们又进一步达成一致，每次他看到我们的船经过时，如果平安无事，一切都好，他就把房子东边的百叶窗放下来。
我们的会议到此结束，每一件事都安排就绪，我便起身告辞了。我告诉赫伯特，我们两人最好不要同时回家，我先走半小时，他晚走半小时。我对普鲁威斯说：“我并不想把你一人留在这里，但我想你在这里一定比靠近我更为安全。再见！”
“亲爱的孩子，”他伸出两手抓住我的双手紧握着，说道，“我们不知道什么时候才能再相见。我不喜欢用再见这个词，还是说一声晚安吧！”
“晚安！赫伯特会来回于我们之间传达消息的，等待时机一成熟，我一定会准备好的，你放心好了。晚安，晚安！”
我们认为他最好留在房里，不必出外相送。我们走时他站在房外的楼梯口，高举着一支蜡烛照着我们走下楼梯。下楼时我又回眸望了他一眼，想到第一次他回来的情景，而现在我们的位置恰巧颠倒了一下。我真没有想到我此时和他相别，心头也会出现如此沉重和焦虑的情感。
在我们又一次经过巴莱老头的房门时，他还是咆哮着，诅咒着，看来他的乱叫还没有停止的征兆，也没有打算停下来。我们走到楼梯脚下，我问赫伯特他是否仍让他用普鲁威斯这个名字。他答道，当然不用，他住在这里用的是坎坡先生的名字。他还向我解释，这里的人只知道住在此地的坎坡先生是由他赫伯特抚养的，他赫伯特对此人有着强烈的个人责任，对他十分关心，让他过清静安稳的生活。我们走进客厅时，蕴普尔夫人和克拉娜正坐在那里干活儿。我是缄默守信，和她们没有提到我和坎坡先生之间的亲密关系。
我向这位可爱又温柔的黑眼睛姑娘告别，又向另一位长久以来以她诚恳的情意促成这一对小情侣的慈母般的妇女告别，这时候我感到仿佛老青铜制索走道也变了样，和我原来的印象大不相同了。这里的巴莱老头确是够老的了，而且他总是那样吼叫、骂人、诅咒，可是这样的环境中却充满了青春、真诚和希望的活力，也就使得四湾显得富有生命力了。我一路上又联想起埃斯苔娜，想到我和她分别时的情况，悲伤的情感充塞于心头，闷闷不乐地回到了家。
寺区像往常一样万籁俱寂，十分平静。原来普鲁威斯所住的几间房间的窗户现在显得那么黑暗，那么寂静。这时的花园里已没有闲逛的人了。在喷泉那里我来回走了两三次，然后才步下台阶，当时除了我孤独一人外，全无其他人影。我正灰心失望、身心疲倦，准备上床就寝时，赫伯特走到了我的床边，他也告诉我四下无人。然后，他开了一扇窗户，举目向外望去，外面是一片银色的月光。赫伯特告诉我，外面路上静悄悄空无一人，和大教堂旁的路上一样，此时都是静悄悄空无一人。
第二天，我便出去买一条船。这件事很快便办成了，我把船划到寺区的石埠码头前，从我家走到这里只需一两分钟的时间。以后我便开始划船练习，并不断地实践；有时我一人独划，有时和赫伯特一起。我时常在严寒雨雪的日子里出去划船，划了几次之后，人们也就不再注意我了。起先，我只在布莱克弗拉埃桥的上游划，后来在潮水变化的时候，我把船一直划到伦敦桥。当时的伦敦桥还是旧桥，桥下水流湍急，忽起忽落，十分危险，大家都不敢在桥下行驶。好在我看到过别人的船是如何“猛穿”老桥的，我也就掌握了其中的窍门，也敢于在桥下蒲耳区范围内的船只间穿行，一直划到埃利斯。第一次划过磨坊河滨时，赫伯特和我二人是用双桨划过去的；在划过去又划回来时，我们都看到普鲁威斯所住房屋的东边百叶窗都放了下来。赫伯特每个星期去那儿不会少于三次，每次回来带给我的消息都没有半点儿动静。不过我心里仍然是惊慌不安，因为我总有一个观念，认为我一直处在被人监视之中。我一旦有了这种看法，这种看法就像幽灵一样揪住我不放。我看到一个人就怀疑这个人在监视我，这样的人简直不可胜数。
总而言之，我一直充满了恐惧，担心在哪里隐藏着一个粗鲁的人。赫伯特有时告诉我，天黑之后，他站在我们住处的一个窗口，观望着潮水的退流，潮水回退而去，带着所有的东西都向克拉娜流去，令他内心感到无比的欢欣。而我的思想正相反，心中怀着无限的忧思，觉得河水是向马格韦契流去，只要河上出现任何一个黑点，就认为是追捕船，那么迅速地、悄悄地、肯定地会把他逮住。
Chapter 47
SOME weeks passed without bringing any change. We waited for Wemmick, and he made no sign. If I had never known him out of Little Britain, and had never enjoyed the privilege of being on a familiar footing at the Castle, I might have doubted him; not so for a moment, knowing him as I did. 
My worldly affairs began to wear a gloomy appearance, and I was pressed for money by more than one creditor. Even I myself began to know the want of money (I mean of ready money in my own pocket), and to relieve it by converting some easily spared articles of jewellery into cash. But I had quite determined that it would be a heartless fraud to take more money from my patron in the existing state of my uncertain thoughts and plans. Therefore, I had sent him the unopened pocket-book by Herbert, to hold in his own keeping, and I felt a kind of satisfaction - whether it was a false kind or a true, I hardly know - in not having profited by his generosity since his revelation of himself.
As the time wore on, an impression settled heavily upon me that Estella was married. Fearful of having it confirmed, though it was all but a conviction, I avoided the newspapers, and begged Herbert (to whom I had confided the circumstances of our last interview) never to speak of her to me. Why I hoarded up this last wretched little rag of the robe of hope that was rent and given to the winds, how do I know! Why did you who read this, commit that not dissimilar inconsistency of your own, last year, last month, last week?
It was an unhappy life that I lived, and its one dominant anxiety, towering over all its other anxieties like a high mountain above a range of mountains, never disappeared from my view. Still, no new cause for fear arose. Let me start from my bed as I would, with the terror fresh upon me that he was discovered; let me sit listening as I would, with dread, for Herbert's returning step at night, lest it should be fleeter than ordinary, and winged with evil news; for all that, and much more to like purpose, the round of things went on. Condemned to inaction and a state of constant restlessness and suspense, I rowed about in my boat, and waited, waited, waited, as I best could.
There were states of the tide when, having been down the river, I could not get back through the eddy-chafed arches and starlings of old London Bridge; then, I left my boat at a wharf near the Custom House, to be brought up afterwards to the Temple stairs. I was not averse to doing this, as it served to make me and my boat a commoner incident among the water-side people there. From this slight occasion, sprang two meetings that I have now to tell of.
One afternoon, late in the month of February, I came ashore at the wharf at dusk. I had pulled down as far as Greenwich with the ebb tide, and had turned with the tide. It had been a fine bright day, but had become foggy as the sun dropped, and I had had to feel my way back among the shipping, pretty carefully. Both in going and returning, I had seen the signal in his window, All well.
As it was a raw evening and I was cold, I thought I would comfort myself with dinner at once; and as I had hours of dejection and solitude before me if I went home to the Temple, I thought I would afterwards go to the play. The theatre where Mr Wopsle had achieved his questionable triumph, was in that waterside neighbourhood (it is nowhere now), and to that theatre I resolved to go. I was aware that Mr Wopsle had not succeeded in reviving the Drama, but, on the contrary, had rather partaken of its decline. He had been ominously heard of, through the playbills, as a faithful Black, in connexion with a little girl of noble birth, and a monkey. And Herbert had seen him as a predatory Tartar of comic propensities, with a face like a red brick, and an outrageous hat all over bells.
I dined at what Herbert and I used to call a Geographical chop-house - where there were maps of the world in porter-pot rims on every half-yard of the table-cloths, and charts of gravy on every one of the knives - to this day there is scarcely a single chop-house within the Lord Mayor's dominions which is not Geographical - and wore out the time in dozing over crumbs, staring at gas, and baking in a hot blast of dinners. By-and-by, I roused myself and went to the play.
There, I found a virtuous boatswain in his Majesty's service - a most excellent man, though I could have wished his trousers not quite so tight in some places and not quite so loose in others - who knocked all the little men's hats over their eyes, though he was very generous and brave, and who wouldn't hear of anybody's paying taxes, though he was very patriotic. He had a bag of money in his pocket, like a pudding in the cloth, and on that property married a young person in bed-furniture, with great rejoicings; the whole population of Portsmouth (nine in number at the last Census) turning out on the beach, to rub their own hands and shake everybody else's, and sing `Fill, fill!' A certain dark-complexioned Swab, however, who wouldn't fill, or do anything else that was proposed to him, and whose heart was openly stated (by the boatswain) to be as black as his figure-head, proposed to two other Swabs to get all mankind into difficulties; which was so effectually done (the Swab family having considerable political influence) that it took half the evening to set things right, and then it was only brought about through an honest little grocer with a white hat, black gaiters, and red nose, getting into a clock, with a gridiron, and listening, and coming out, and knocking everybody down from behind with the gridiron whom he couldn't confute with what he had overheard. This led to Mr Wopsle's (who had never been heard of before) coming in with a star and garter on, as a plenipotentiary of great power direct from the Admiralty, to say that the Swabs were all to go to prison on the spot, and that he had brought the boatswain down the Union Jack, as a slight acknowledgment of his public services. The boatswain, unmanned for the first time, respectfully dried his eyes on the Jack, and then cheering up and addressing Mr Wopsle as Your Honour, solicited permission to take him by the fin. Mr Wopsle conceding his fin with a gracious dignity, was immediately shoved into a dusty corner while everybody danced a hornpipe; and from that corner, surveying the public with a discontented eye, became aware of me.
The second piece was the last new grand comic Christmas pantomime, in the first scene of which, it pained me to suspect that I detected Mr Wopsle with red worsted legs under a highly magnified phosphoric countenance and a shock of red curtain-fringe for his hair, engaged in the manufacture of thunderbolts in a mine, and displaying great cowardice when his gigantic master came home (very hoarse) to dinner. But he presently presented himself under worthier circumstances; for, the Genius of Youthful Love being in want of assistance - on account of the parental brutality of an ignorant farmer who opposed the choice of his daughter's heart, by purposely falling upon the object, in a flour sack, out of the firstfloor window - summoned a sententious Enchanter; and he, coming up from the antipodes rather unsteadily, after an apparently violent journey, proved to be Mr Wopsle in a high-crowned hat, with a necromantic work in one volume under his arm. The business of this enchanter on earth, being principally to be talked at, sung at, butted at, danced at, and flashed at with fires of various colours, he had a good deal of time on his hands. And I observed with great surprise, that he devoted it to staring in my direction as if he were lost in amazement.
There was something so remarkable in the increasing glare of Mr Wopsle's eye, and he seemed to be turning so many things over in his mind and to grow so confused, that I could not make it out. I sat thinking of it, long after he had ascended to the clouds in a large watch-case, and still I could not make it out. I was still thinking of it when I came out of the theatre an hour afterwards, and found him waiting for me near the door.
`How do you do?' said I, shaking hands with him as we turned down the street together. `I saw that you saw me.'
`Saw you, Mr. Pip!' he returned. `Yes, of course I saw you. But who else was there?'
`Who else?'
`It is the strangest thing,' said Mr Wopsle, drifting into his lost look again; `and yet I could swear to him.'
Becoming alarmed, I entreated Mr Wopsle to explain his meaning.
`Whether I should have noticed him at first but for your being there,' said Mr Wopsle, going on in the same lost way, `I can't be positive; yet I think I should.'
Involuntarily I looked round me, as I was accustomed to look round me when I went home; for, these mysterious words gave me a chill.
`Oh! He can't be in sight,' said Mr Wopsle. `He went out, before I went off, I saw him go.'
Having the reason that I had, for being suspicious, I even suspected this poor actor. I mistrusted a design to entrap me into some admission. Therefore, I glanced at him as we walked on together, but said nothing.
`I had a ridiculous fancy that he must be with you, Mr Pip, till I saw that you were quite unconscious of him, sitting behind you there, like a ghost.'
My former chill crept over me again, but I was resolved not to speak yet, for it was quite consistent with his words that he might be set on to induce me to connect these references with Provis. Of course, I was perfectly sure and safe that Provis had not been there.
`I dare say you wonder at me, Mr Pip; indeed I see you do. But it is so very strange! You'll hardly believe what I am going to tell you. I could hardly believe it myself, if you told me.'
`Indeed?' said I.
`No, indeed. Mr Pip, you remember in old times a certain Christmas Day, when you were quite a child, and I dined at Gargery's, and some soldiers came to the door to get a pair of handcuffs mended?'
`I remember it very well.'
`And you remember that there was a chase after two convicts, and that we joined in it, and that Gargery took you on his back, and that I took the lead and you kept up with me as well as you could?'
`I remember it all very well.' Better than he thought - except the last clause.
`And you remember that we came up with the two in a ditch, and that there was a scuffle between them, and that one of them had been severely handled and much mauled about the face, by the other?'
`I see it all before me.'
`And that the soldiers lighted torches, and put the two in the centre, and that we went on to see the last of them, over the black marshes, with the torchlight shining on their faces - I am particular about that; with the torchlight shining on their faces, when there was an outer ring of dark night all about us?'
`Yes,' said I. `I remember all that.'
`Then, Mr Pip, one of those two prisoners sat behind you tonight. I saw him over your shoulder.'
`Steady!' I thought. I asked him then, `Which of the two do you suppose you saw?'
`The one who had been mauled,' he answered readily, `and I'll swear I saw him! The more I think of him, the more certain I am of him.'
`This is very curious!' said I, with the best assumption I could put on, of its being nothing more to me. `Very curious indeed!'
I cannot exaggerate the enhanced disquiet into which this conversation threw me, or the special and peculiar terror I felt at Compeyson's having been behind me `like a ghost.' For, if he had ever been out of my thoughts for a few moments together since the hiding had begun, it was in those very moments when he was closest to me; and to think that I should be so unconscious and off my guard after all my care, was as if I had shut an avenue of a hundred doors to keep him out, and then had found him at my elbow. I could not doubt either that he was there, because I was there, and that however slight an appearance of danger there might be about us, danger was always near and active.
I put such questions to Mr Wopsle as, When did the man come in? He could not tell me that; he saw me, and over my shoulder he saw the man. It was not until he had seen him for some time that he began to identify him; but he had from the first vaguely associated him with me, and known him as somehow belonging to me in the old village time. How was he dressed? Prosperously, but not noticeably otherwise; he thought, in black. Was his face at all disfigured? No, he believed not. I believed not, too, for, although in my brooding state I had taken no especial notice of the people behind me, I thought it likely that a face at all disfigured would have attracted my attention.
When Mr Wopsle had imparted to me all that he could recall or I extract, and when I had treated him to a little appropriate refreshment after the fatigues of the evening, we parted. It was between twelve and one o'clock when I reached the Temple, and the gates were shut. No one was near me when I went in and went home.
Herbert had come in, and we held a very serious council by the fire. But there was nothing to be done, saving to communicate to Wemmick what I had that night found out, and to remind him that we waited for his hint. As I thought that I might compromise him if I went too often to the Castle, I made this communication by letter. I wrote it before I went to bed, and went out and posted it; and again no one was near me. Herbert and I agreed that we could do nothing else but be very cautious. And we were very cautious indeed - more cautious than before, if that were possible - and I for my part never went near Chinks's Basin, except when I rowed by, and then I only looked at Mill Pond Bank as I looked at anything else.
 
几个星期又悄然而过，并没有发生什么变化。我们都在等待着温米克的来到，然而他音信全无。如果我和他之间的交往只限于小不列颠街的律师事务所，而没有足登过他的城堡，形成熟悉的私人来往，也许我早就对他生疑了。可我深深了解他的为人，所以对他半点儿也没有怀疑过。
我的凡俗事务也开始抹上了一层阴影，债主一个接一个追逼着我还债。我这才开始了解缺钱的难处（我所说的缺钱是指我的皮夹子里缺少现钱），不得不拿出一些易于出手并舍得割爱的珠宝，把它们变换成现金，以救燃眉之急。不过，我业已下定决心，处在目前行踪未定、计划未成的情况下，我绝对不再用我恩主的钱，否则就是没有良心的欺诈行为了。所以，我请赫伯特把那个尚未打开的钱包送还给普鲁威斯，让他自己保管，这才感到有一点儿满意。当然，我很难说这究竟是真的满意还是假的满意。不管怎样，自从他本人露面以来，我没有利用他的慷慨而获得任何利益。
随着时间的推移，埃斯苔娜已经结婚的念头紧紧压在我的心头。虽然这件事是确定无疑的，但我还是担心得到证实。我不看报，以免从中得到消息；我还请求赫伯特不要在我面前提到她，因为我和埃斯苔娜的最后一次会晤，已经向他全盘吐露。我的希望就好像一件长袍，已经被撕得一片一片，而且除了最后一片以外均已随风飘去，我为什么要把这一片藏于心间呢？我自问也不得其解。噢，各位读者啊，你们又为什么在上一年、上个月、上个星期，做出了诸如此类的前后矛盾之事呢？
我过的是多么不幸的生活，内心的焦虑烦忧好比是连绵的山峦，其中主宰我的忧虑好比是一座最高的山峰，无时无刻都矗立在我的眼前。不过，当前还没有出现新的担忧。有时我会突然从心头涌起一阵恐惧，唯恐普鲁威斯被人发现，吓得会从床上惊起；有时我深夜静静地坐着，等候赫伯特的归来，却总是心惊胆寒，唯恐他的脚步声比平时急促，带来坏消息，虽有所有这一切的忧虑烦乱，以及诸如此类的苦恼，日子倒正常地过去了。可是这种日子却使我毫无活动的余地，无尽的不安。不断的疑心，我只有水上荡舟，荡来荡去，等啊等啊，反复荡舟，反复等待。
有时，由于潮水情况变化，我已经划着小舟驶到了河的下游，而老伦敦桥桥墩四周木桩处的潮水突然形成连天漩涡，使我无法通过返回，只有把船系在海关附近的小码头上，以后再把它划回寺区的石埠码头。对于这种做法我并不讨厌，因为这对我很有好处，住在河滨的人们无论对我或我的船都会习以为常的。就这件微不足道的小事，却使我两次和熟人相遇，这里不得不述说一下。
一次是二月下旬的一个下午，正是黄昏时分，我于那个码头登岸。我在落潮时顺流把船划到格林威治，再在涨潮的时候把船划回来。那天起初天气晴朗，而在太阳落山时却迷雾四起，我不得不小心摸着水路，在水上船舶之间行驶。来去途中我都看到普鲁威斯窗口的信号，知道一切平安无事。
这是一个阴冷的傍晚，我感到冷得发抖，想立刻吃晚饭，让自己舒服一下；我又想要是回到寺区的家中，在那里闷闷不乐、孤孤单单地待上几小时，倒不如吃过饭后到戏院去看场戏。听说沃甫赛先生演得很成功，这颇令人怀疑。他演出的那家戏院就在河滨一带（当然现在已不存在了），于是我决定到那个戏院去。我知道在复兴戏剧方面，沃甫赛先生并没有做出成绩，相反，戏剧走下坡路他却要负一定的责任。从剧院的招贴画上可以看到他扮演一位忠实的黑人，他旁边是一位高贵出身的小女孩，还有一只猴子，真是不吉利的兆头。赫伯特还在招贴画上看到过他扮演一个善于掠夺的鞑靼人，简直滑稽可笑，面孔像一块红砖，头戴一顶形状荒谬的帽子，四边都挂了小铃。
我吃晚饭的那家小酒店就是我和赫伯特称之为地图室的酒店，因为桌布上每隔半码就有一个酒壶边留下的印子，就像世界地图一样，再说，每一把餐刀上也都留着航海图式的肉汁印。直到今天，在伦敦市长大人的统辖之下，几乎所有的酒馆都是地图室了。我对着面包屑一面打着瞌睡一面望着煤气灯，在热气腾腾的酒菜中烘着自己，以此打发时间。最后我才站起来，向戏院走去。
在戏里我发现一位有道德的皇家水手长。这是一位非常杰出的人物，尽管我认为他身上穿的那条裤子，有些地方绷得太紧，而另外一些地方又显得过分肥大；虽然他慷慨大方，又侠义勇为，可是却把所有的小人物打得连帽子都压在了眼睛上；虽然他颇为爱国，但却不能容忍别人谈起交税纳捐之事。他口袋里装了一包钱，就好像用布包着的一块糕点。他就用这笔财产，和一位用床上用品打扮起来的年轻女孩结了婚，并因此而欢天喜地。朴茨茅斯的全体民众（据最后一次统计，共有九人一起来到海边，他们一面各自搓手，一面相互握手，一起唱着：“把大家的酒斟满！把大家的酒斟满！”里面有一个脸皮子黑黝黝的笨蛋，就是不把酒斟满，别人指定他干的事他也不做；水手长说这个家伙的心和他的脸皮子一样黑；这一来这个笨蛋又发动了另外两个笨蛋，一道把整个集体弄得不得安宁。原来这帮子水手也颇有些政治影响，他们干得很有成效，几乎花了半个晚上的时间才得以把这不安的局面拨乱反正。这其中还亏了一位老实巴交的小商人，此人头上戴了一顶白帽子，下面裹着黑绑腿，脸上还生了一只红鼻子。他钻在一座大钟里，随身带了一只烤架，偷听外面的谈话，然后从大钟里走出来，向大伙儿吐露所听真情，要是他无法用偷听来的真情驳倒谁，他就干脆用烤架从背后把这人打翻。这时沃甫赛先生出场了，在这之前从没有提到过他。他出场时身上佩戴着一颗星和嘉德勋章，作为海军大臣委派来的全权代表，他手握生杀大权，当场宣布，这些笨蛋水手统统该被关进监牢，至于水手长，则被授予一面英国国旗作为嘉奖，因为他对国家尽职尽忠。这位水手长生平第一次失去男子气概，恭恭敬敬地抓起国旗擦拭眼中流下的泪水，转眼又兴高采烈，称呼沃甫赛先生“阁下”，还恳求他赏脸让自己拉着他的手。沃甫赛先生谦恭地伸出他的手，态度显得特别庄重严肃，却即刻被水手长推到了一个布满灰尘的角落，其余的人便跳起活泼的水手舞来。沃甫赛就站在这个角落里，带着不满的神情扫了一下在场的观众，就这时候，他发现了我。
第二个节目是最新的大型滑稽圣诞童话剧，在这节目的第一个场景中，我就难过地见到了沃甫赛先生，腿上穿着红绒长筒袜，一副夸张的面容，闪着磷光，头发是一把红窗帘上的稳子；他这时正在矿井中声响如雷地干活，一看到身高马大的主人回来吃饭，发出嘶哑的声音，他便表现出胆小心虚。好的是没有多久他的角色变成了地位比较高贵的人。剧中有一位年轻的爱情天才，赢得了一位农场主千金的芳心，可是这位无知无识的农场主蛮横无礼，反对他女儿的这门亲事，套上面粉袋，从二楼窗口跳下，故意压在他女儿的情人身上，此情人不得不去找个巫师来帮忙，而这位巫师是个有才有学、知道很多格言的人。这位巫师来自地球的另一面，经历了一段艰巨的旅行，跌跌撞撞地走上台来。这位巫师不是别人，正是沃甫赛先生，头上戴了一顶高帽子，臂膀下夹了一本巫术大全。这位巫师来到人世的任务主要是让别人对他诉说，对他歌唱，对他冲撞，对他跳舞，对着他挥舞五颜六色的火焰，而他有的是时间对付。他一心一意地用眼睛朝我坐的地方瞧，好像惊呆了一样，而我也非常惊奇地注意着他。
沃甫赛先生越来越睁大眼睛注视着我，其中蕴藏着深刻的含义，在他的头脑中仿佛转动着许许多多的事情，却糊里糊涂，这把我也弄得百思不得其解。我坐在那里思索着，甚至在他登上一块大表盒子腾云而去时，仍然果坐那里，百思不得其解。即使是一个小时之后，我走出了剧院，心中还在考虑着这个问题。这时，突然我看到他正站在剧院门口等我。
“你好吗？”我说道，连忙和他握握手，然后一同转弯走上大街，“我看到你站在台上看我。”
“皮普先生，我看到你了！”他答道，“是啊，我当然看到你了。不过，还有一位不知是谁？”
“还有哪一位？”
“这可是件奇怪的事情了，”沃甫赛先生带着非常失望的神情，又说道，“我敢发誓，我明明看到了他。”
这一惊非同小可，我恳求沃甫赛先生说明这话的用意。
“如果你不在场我会不会一眼就注意到他，”沃甫赛先生还是那一副丧魂落魄的样子，说道，“那我就很难说了，不过，我想我还是会注意到那个人的。”
我不自主地看了一下四周，因为我每次回家时看看四周动静已成了习惯，何况他这几句神秘的话不禁使我打了个寒噤。
“噢！他不在这里了，”沃甫赛先生说道，“在我下台前他就走出去了，我看到他走的。”
他的这番话使我有理由怀疑起来，甚至对这个可怜的演员我也怀疑了，这莫不是设计的圈套，让我一头钻进去不打自招。于是，我望了他一眼，继续和他一起走着，并没有再讲什么。
“我的想法太可笑了，皮普先生，我还以为他是和你一道的，后来我才发现你并没有意识到他在旁边，他就坐在你的后面，样子就像一个鬼魂似的。”
刚才的寒噤又开始在我心中复活，不过我决定什么也不讲。从他的这些话看，他完全有可能是受人指使来诱我人瓮的，想把我和普鲁威斯联系起来。当然，我完全可以肯定，普鲁威斯决没有到这戏院里来过。
“皮普先生，我敢打赌你听了我的话一定很吃惊，我看得出来，不过，事情也太奇怪了！我要告诉你，你一定不会相信。当然，如果是你告诉我，我自己也不会相信的。”
“真的吗？”我说道。
“没错，完全是真的。皮普先生，你不会忘记过去有一次过圣诞节的日子吧。那时你还是一个孩子，我们在葛奇里家中吃饭，有一队官兵找来说有一副手铐要修理，你还记得吗？”
“我记得太清楚了。”
“还有，你记不记得追捕两个逃犯的事？我们也加入了当时官兵的行列，葛奇里背着你，而我在前面领路，你们在后面拼命地跟着以免掉队？”
“我全都记得一清二楚。”我记得比他更清楚，因为他最后一句话是胡诌的。
“我们正赶上看到那两个逃犯在水沟里，当时他们两个人正打成一团，其中一个人被另一人打得够呛，脸上到处是伤，记得吗？”
“这事就好比发生在眼前一样。”
“你可记得那些官兵点着火把，把这两个逃犯国在当中，我们跟过去要看个究竟，只见在那黑压压的沼泽地上，火把正照在他们的面孔上？我特别要提到的是这一点，当时在我们的四周是一片漆黑的夜，你可记得他们的火把正照在两个逃犯的脸上？”
“记得，’戏说道，“我记得很清楚。”
“那么，皮普先生，这两个逃犯中有一个今天晚上就坐在你后面2我看到他就在你的后面坐着。”
我嘱咐自己要“冷静对付”，于是便问他：“你看到的是他们当中的哪一个？”
“就是被打得满脸是伤的那个，”他立刻答道，“我敢发誓，我看到的就是他！我越想，就越肯定是他。”
“这可太奇怪了！”我说道，极力装出和我毫无关系的神态，又说了一句，“确实太奇怪了！”
通过这一次谈话，我心中不安所增加的程度怎么说也不为夸大。一想到这个康佩生竟然“像一个鬼魂”似的就在我的身后，我的这种特殊的恐惧就更加难言了。因为自从我的恩主躲藏起来后，我无时无刻不在考虑着康佩生；如果说有那么一刻不曾考虑到他，那恰巧就是他距离我最近的时候。我是非常小心谨慎的，竟然这一次却毫不留意，失去警惕，就好像为了避开他我关上了一百道门，隔断他的一切来路，结果猛一回头，他却就在近处。无可怀疑，因为我去到戏院，所以他也跟到了戏院。从表面上看来，我们四周危险的阴影还很小，可事实上危险永远在我的身边，而且随时会被触发。
我向沃甫赛先生提了几个问题，问他这个人是什么时候走进来的。他没有办法回答，说是先看到了我，然后就看到了这个人坐在我的后面。他先没有看到他，看到他后又过了一会儿才认出他；起先他有些糊涂，以为那人是和我一起来的，说不定还是我们村子里的同乡呢。我又问他，那人的穿着如何，他说衣服是挺讲究的，不过并不引人注意；他认为那人穿的是黑色衣服。我问他那个人脸上有没有破相？他说没有。我也认为那人没有破相，因为我觉得虽然我在沉思的时候没有注意到那些坐在我背后的人，但如果他们当中有一张脸是破了相的话，我是会注意到的。
沃甫赛先生告诉了我所有他能回忆起来的情况，以及所有能被榨出来的情况，所以我招待他吃了些夜宵，以消除他一晚以来演出的疲倦，然后便告别了。我回到寺区时大约在十二点至一点之间，寺区所有的门都关了。我走进栅门，回到家，一直没发现四周有人。
赫伯特早已回来，我们坐在炉边，进行了一次非常严肃认真的讨论。但是讨论并无多大成果，办法只有把我今晚所发现的情况一五一十告诉温米克，并提醒他我们正在等待他的指点。我想，我到城堡去的次数也不能太多，否则说不定会连累到他，所以我便写信告诉了他。我在睡觉之前写好信，并连夜赶出去投进邮筒，一来一回都没有发现周围有人。赫伯特和我都同意我们唯一要做的就是小心谨慎。我们已经够小心谨慎了，不过，只要可能，我们还要比以前更加警惕。从我来说，干脆不再到四湾一带去，即使划船经过时，也只是像看其他任何地方一样对着磨坊河滨看一眼。
Chapter 48
THE second of the two meetings referred to in the last chapter, occurred about a week after the first. I had again left my boat at the wharf below Bridge; the time was an hour earlier in the afternoon; and, undecided where to dine, I had strolled up into Cheapside, and was strolling along it, surely the most unsettled person in all the busy concourse, when a large hand was laid upon my shoulder, by some one overtaking me. It was Mr Jaggers's hand, and he passed it through my arm. 
`As we are going in the same direction, Pip, we may walk together. Where are you bound for?'
`For the Temple, I think,' said I.
`Don't you know?' said Mr Jaggers.
`Well,' I returned, glad for once to get the better of him in cross-examination, `I do not know, for I have not made up mn mind.'
`You are going to dine?' said Mr Jaggers. `You don't mind admitting that, I suppose?'
`No,' I returned, `I don't mind admitting that.'
`And are not engaged?'
`I don't mind admitting also, that I am not engaged.'
`Then,' said Mr Jaggers, `come and dine with me.'
I was going to excuse myself, when he added, `Wemmick's coming.' So, I changed my excuse into an acceptance - the few words I had uttered, serving for the beginning of either - and we went along Cheapside and slanted off to Little Britain, while the lights were springing up brilliantly in the shop windows, and the street lamp-lighters, scarcely finding ground enough to plant their ladders on in the midst of the afternoon's bustle, were skipping up and down and running in and out, opening more red eyes in the gathering fog than my rushlight tower at the Hummums had opened white eyes in the ghostly wall.
At the office in Little Britain there was the usual letter-writing, hand-washing, candle-snuffing, and safe-locking, that closed the business of the day. As I stood idle by Mr Jagger's fire, its rising and falling flame made the two casts on the shelf look as if they were playing a diabolical game at bo-peep with me; while the pair of coarse fat office candles that dimly lighted Mr Jaggers as he wrote in a corner, were decorated with dirty winding-sheets, as if in remembrance of a host of hanged clients.
We went to Gerrard-street, all three together, in a hackneycoach: and as soon as we got there, dinner was served. Although I should not have thought of making, in that place, the most distant reference by so much as a look to Wemmick's Walworth sentiments, yet I should have had no objection to catching his eye now and then in a friendly way. But it was not to be done. He turned his eyes on Mr Jaggers whenever he raised them from the table, and was as dry and distant to me as if there were twin Wemmicks and this was the wrong one.
`Did you send that note of Miss Havisham's to Mr Pip, Wemmick?' Mr Jaggers asked, soon after we began dinner.
`No, sir,' returned Wemmick; `it was going by post, when you brought Mr Pip into the office. Here it is.' He handed it to his principal, instead of to me.
`It's a note of two lines, Pip,' said Mr Jaggers, handing it on, `sent up to me by Miss Havisham, on account of her not being sure of your address. She tells me that she wants to see you on a little matter of business you mentioned to her. You'll go down?'
`Yes,' said I, casting my eyes over the note, which was exactly in those terms.
`When do you think of going down?'
`I have an impending engagement,' said I, glancing at Wemmick, who was putting fish into the post-office, `that renders me rather uncertain of my time. At once, I think.'
`If Mr Pip has the intention of going at once,' said Wemmick to Mr Jaggers, `he needn't write an answer, you know.'
Receiving this as an intimation that it was best not to delay, I settled that I would go to-morrow, and said so. Wemmick drank a glass of wine and looked with a grimly satisfied air at Mr Jaggers, but not at me.
`So, Pip! Our friend the Spider,' said Mr Jaggers, `has played his cards. He has won the pool.'
It was as much as I could do to assent.
`Hah! He is a promising fellow - in his way - but he may not have it all his own way. The stronger will win in the end, but the stronger has to be found out first. If he should turn to, and beat her--'
`Surely,' I interrupted, with a burning face and heart, `you do not seriously think that he is scoundrel enough for that, Mr Jaggers?'
`I didn't say so, Pip. I am putting a case. If he should turn to and beat her, he may possibly get the strength on his side; if it should be a question of intellect, he certainly will not. It would be chance work to give an opinion how a fellow of that sort will turn out in such circumstances, because it's a toss-up between two results.'
`May I ask what they are?'
`A fellow like our friend the Spider,' answered Mr Jaggers, `either beats, or cringes. He may cringe and growl, or cringe and not growl; but he either beats or cringes. Ask Wemmick his opinion.'
`Either beats or cringes,' said Wemmick, not at all addressing himself to me.
`So, here's to Mrs Bentley Drummle,' said Mr Jaggers, taking a decanter of choicer wine from his dumb-waiter, and filing for each of us and for himself, `and may the question of supremacy be settled to the lady's satisfaction! To the satisfaction of the lady and the gentleman, it never will be. Now, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, how slow you are to-day!'
She was at his elbow when he addressed her, putting a dish upon the table. As she withdrew her hands from it, she fell back a step or two, nervously muttering some excuse. And a certain action of her fingers as she spoke arrested my attention.
`What's the matter?' said Mr Jaggers.
`Nothing. Only the subject we were speaking of,' said I, `was rather painful to me.'
The action of her fingers was like the action of knitting. She stood looking at her master, not understanding whether she was free to go, or whether he had more to say to her and would call her back if she did go. Her look was very intent. Surely, I had seen exactly such eyes and such hands, on a memorable occasion very lately!
He dismissed her, and she glided out of the room. But she remained before me, as plainly as if she were still there. I looked at those hands, I looked at those eyes, I looked at that flowing hair; and I compared them with other hands, other eyes, other hair, that I knew of, and with what those might be after twenty years of a brutal husband and a stormy life. I looked again at those hands and eyes of the housekeeper, and thought of the inexplicable feeling that had come over me when I last walked - not alone - in the ruined garden, and through the deserted brewery. I thought how the same feeling had come back when I saw a face looking at me, and a hand waving to me, from a stage-coach window; and how it had come back again and had flashed about me like Lightning, when I had passed in a carriage - not alone - through a sudden glare of light in a dark street. I thought how one link of association had helped that identification in the theatre, and how such a link, wanting before, had been riveted for me now, when I had passed by a chance swift from Estella's name to the fingers with their knitting action, and the attentive eyes. And I felt absolutely certain that this woman was Estella's mother.
Mr Jaggers had seen me with Estella, and was not likely to have missed the sentiments I had been at no pains to conceal. He nodded when I said the subject was painful to me, clapped me on the back, put round the wine again, and went on with his dinner.
Only twice more, did the housekeeper reappear, and then her stay in the room was very short, and Mr Jaggers was sharp with her. But her hands were Estella's hands, and her eyes were Estella's eyes, and if she had reappeared a hundred times I could have been neither more sure nor less sure that my conviction was the truth.
It was a dull evening, for Wemmick drew his wine when it came round, quite as a matter of business - just as he might have drawn his salary when that came round - and with his eyes on his chief, sat in a state of perpetual readiness for cross-examination. As to the quantity of wine, his post-office was as indifferent and ready as and other post-office for its quantity of letters. From my point of view, he was the wrong twin all the time, and only externally like the Wemmick of Walworth.
We took our leave early, and left together. Even when we were groping among Mr Jaggers's stock of boots for our hats, I felt that the right twin was on his way back; and we had not gone half a dozen yards down Gerrard-street in the Walworth direction before I found that I was walking arm-in-arm with the right twin, and that the wrong twin had evaporated into the evening air.
`Well!' said Wemmick, `that's over! He's a wonderful man, without his living likeness; but I feel that I have to screw myself up when I dine with him - and I dine more comfortably unscrewed.'
I felt that this was a good statement of the case, and told him so.
`Wouldn't say it to anybody but yourself,' he answered. `I know that what is said between you and me, goes no further.'
I asked him if he had ever seen Miss Havisham's adopted daughter, Mrs Bentley Drummle? He said no. To avoid being too abrupt, I then spoke of the Aged, and of Miss Skiffins. He looked rather sly when I mentioned Miss Skiffins, and stopped in the street to blow his nose, with a roll of the head and a flourish not quite free from latent boastfulness.
`Wemmick,' said I, `do you remember telling me before I first went to Mr Jaggers's private house, to notice that housekeeper?'
`Did I?' he replied. `Ah, I dare say I did. Deuce take me,' he added, suddenly, `I know I did. I find I am not quite unscrewed yet.'
`A wild beast tamed, you called her.'
`And what do you call her?'
`The same. How did Mr Jaggers tame her, Wemmick?'
`That's his secret. She has been with him many a long year.'
`I wish you would tell me her story. I feel a particular interest in being acquainted with it. You know that what is said between you and me goes no further.'
`Well!' Wemmick replied, `I don't know her story - that is, I don't know all of it. But what I do know, I'll tell you. We are in our private and personal capacities, of course.'
`Of course.'
`A score or so of years ago, that woman was tried at the Old Bailey for murder, and was acquitted. She was a very handsome young woman, and I believe had some gipsy blood in her. Anyhow, i was hot enough when it was up, as you may suppose.'
`But she was acquitted.'
`Mr Jaggers was for her,' pursued Wemmick, with a look full of meaning, `and worked the case in a way quite astonishing. It was a desperate case, and it was comparatively early days with him then, and he worked it to general admiration; in fact, it may almost be said to have made him. He worked it himself at the police-office, day after day for many days, contending against even a committal; and at the trial where he couldn't work it himself, sat under Counsel, and - every one knew - put in all the salt and pepper. The murdered person was a woman; a woman, a good ten years older, very much larger, and very much stronger. It was a case of jealousy. They both led tramping lives, and this woman in Gerrard-street here had been married very young, over the broomstick (as we say), to a tramping man, and was a perfect fury in point of jealousy. The murdered woman - more a match for the man, certainly, in point of years - was found dead in a barn near Hounslow Heath. There had been a violent struggle, perhaps a fight. She was bruised and scratched and torn, and had been held by the throat at last and choked. Now, there was no reasonable evidence to implicate any person but this woman, and, on the improbabilities of her having been able to do it, Mr Jaggers principally rested his case. You may be sure,' said Wemmick, touching me on the sleeve, `that he never dwelt upon the strength of her hands then, though he sometimes does now.'
I had told Wemmick of his showing us her wrists, that day of the dinner party.
`Well, sir!' Wemmick went on; `it happened - happened, don't you see? - that this woman was so very artfully dressed from the time of her apprehension, that she looked much slighter than she really was; in particular, her sleeves are always remembered to have been so skilfully contrived that her arms had quite a delicate look. She had only a bruise or two about her - nothing for a tramp - but the backs of her hands were lacerated, and the question was, was it with finger-nails? Now, Mr Jaggers showed that she had struggled through a great lot of brambles which were not as high as her face; but which she could not have got through and kept her hands out of; and bits of those brambles were actually found in her skin and put in evidence, as well as the fact that the brambles in question were found on examination to have been broken through, and to have little shreds of her dress and little spots of blood upon them here and there. But the boldest point he made, was this. It was attempted to be set up in proof of her jealousy, that she was under strong suspicion of having, at about the time of the murder, frantically destroyed her child by this man - some three years old - to revenge herself upon him. Mr Jaggers worked that, in this way. "We say these are not marks of finger-nails, but marks of brambles, and we show you the brambles. You say they are marks of finger-nails, and you set up the hypothesis that she destroyed her child. You must accept all consequences of that hypothesis. For anything we know, she may have destroyed her child, and the child in clinging to her may have scratched her hands. What then? You are not trying her for the murder of her child; why don't you? As to this case, if you will have scratches, we say that, for anything we know, you may have accounted for them, assuming for the sake of argument that you have not invented them?" To sum up, sir,' said Wemmick, `Mr Jaggers was altogether too many for the Jury, and they gave in.'
`Has she been in his service ever since?'
`Yes; but not only that,' said Wemmick. `She went into his service immediately after her acquittal, tamed as she is now. She has since been taught one thing and another in the way of her duties, but she was tamed from the beginning.'
`Do you remember the sex of the child?'
`Said to have been a girl.'
`You have nothing more to say to me to-night?'
`Nothing. I got your letter and destroyed it. Nothing.'
We exchanged a cordial Good Night, and I went home, with new matter for my thoughts, though with no relief from the old.
 
在上一章中我提到曾两次遇到熟人，这第二次大约是在遇到沃甫赛先生一个星期后的事。我还是在伦敦桥下的码头下船，也还是在下午，但比第一次要早一个小时。当时我还没有决定到哪儿去吃饭，于是便逛到了齐普塞德，沿着街东看西看。这里人来人往，熙熙攘攘，好不热闹，而我却是一个无处着落的人。正巧，这时有一只大手落在我的肩头，是从后面追上来的，一看就知是贾格斯先生的手。他然后挽住我的手臂，“皮普，我们又走到同一条道上来了，我们一起走吧。你正准备上哪儿去？”
“我看是到寺区去吧。”我说道。
“你不晓得你到哪去？”贾格斯先生问道。
“是啊，”我答道，很高兴这一次在他洁难我时，我却占了上风，“我是不晓得，因为我还没有作出决定呢。”
“你是不是去吃饭？”贾格斯先生问道，“我想你不会不承认这个事实吧？”
“不会不承认的，”我答道，“我是想去吃饭。”
“没有约什么人吧？”
“这一点我也承认，我没有约别人。”
“那么，”贾格斯先生说道，“你就和我一起去吃饭吧。”
我正准备推却，请他原谅，他又说道：“温米克也要来一起吃饭的。”所以我立刻掉转话头说愿意接受，虽然已经出口了前半句话的几个字，不过无妨，这对推却和接受都是一样的。我们沿着齐普塞德一直向前，然后斜转人小不列颠街。这时店铺橱窗里都射出了明亮而又耀眼的灯光，傍晚的街上人流拥挤，连在街上点灯的人都找不到一处可以放梯子的地方，只有上蹦下跳，奔进跑出，于是在雾气氵蒙氵蒙之中出现了许多许多红眼睛，比上次我在黑蒙斯旅社的那盏灯草芯蜡烛灯高高映照在阴森森的墙上的上百只眼睛还要多。
在小不列颠街上的律师事务所里，因为正要下班，所以大家都在准备着，有的在写信，有的在洗手，有的在熄灯，还有的在锁保险柜。我懒懒地站在贾格斯先生办公室的火炉边，那忽明忽暗的火焰照着架子上的两只头像，仿佛这两个家伙正同我玩躲猫猫这可恶的游戏。贾格斯先生正坐在角落里，不知道在写什么东西。事务所里的一对又粗糙又肥大的蜡烛发出幽暗的光，蜡烛上还包着肮脏不堪的裹尸布一样的纸，真好像是对他的那一群已上了绞刑架的客户的纪念。
我们三人乘上出租马车向着吉拉德街驶去，不一会儿便抵达目的地，刚坐好饭菜便送上来了。在这种场合，我非常清楚我不能和温米克作伍尔华斯的情感交流，连一个眼色也不能丢，但是我希望温米克能不时看上我一眼，表示出一点友谊。然而，就连这一点也无法办到。每逢他从桌子上抬起眼睛时，总是向贾格斯先生那里望去，对我则表现出冷淡，表现出疏远，仿佛温米克还有一个双胞胎兄弟，今天来的不是温米克本人，而是他的孪生兄弟。
我们刚开始用餐，贾格斯先生便问道：“温米克，你是不是已经把郝维仙小姐的那封信寄给皮普先生了？”
“还没有，先生，”温米克答道，“我正打算把它寄出时，你和皮普先生来到了事务所。信在这里。”他把信递给了他的上司，而没有交给我。
“皮普，”贾格斯先生把信递给我，说道，“这是郝维仙小姐写的一封短信，因为她弄不清你的确切住址，所以寄给我转交。她告诉我她想见见你，说你曾经向她提过一件小事。你准备去她那里一次吗？”
“我要去的。”我说道，把眼睛转向这封短信，匆忙地看了一下，上面写的确是贾格斯先生所说的意思。
“你准备什么时候到她那里去呢？”
“我这个阶段和别人有约，”我看了温米克一眼，说道，他这时正在把一块鱼肉送进他那邮筒式的大嘴，“所以去的时间尚不能确定。我想，很快就会去的。”
“如果皮普先生打算很快就去，”温米克对贾格斯先生说道，“你看，他就没有必要写回信了。”
一接到这个信息我就知道我该越快去越好，不能耽搁，于是便说我明天就去。温米克喝了一杯酒，面色中反映出他的满意，在满意中又带着严酷，他用这个眼神望着贾格斯先生，却没有望着我。
“皮普！我们的那个叫蜘蛛的朋友，”贾格斯先生对我说道，“出了手好牌，这一局他赢了。”
对于他说的我只有同意。
“嘿！这倒是个有前途的家伙，他自有办法，不过不见得永远都行。鹿死谁手尚难预料，强中自有强中手，谁最有本领还未见分晓。万一他一变而动手打她——”
我这时从外到内都气得直冒火，打断了他的话头，“贾格斯先生，你当然不是真的认为他会卑鄙下流到这个程度吧？”
“皮普，我没那么说，我只是提出一种可能性。如果他真的一反常性而动手打她，当然在力气方面是他大，如果讲到运用心计，他明显地不行。像他这种人在如此情况下遇到的如此之事，其结果会是什么呢？自然，两种结果的机会相等，都有可能。”
“我可以问两种机会均等的结果是什么吗？”
“像我们的朋友蜘蛛这样的人，”贾格斯先生答道，“要么是拳打脚踢，要么是满脸陪笑畏缩奉承。他也许畏缩奉承时会发牢骚鸣不平，也许就是畏缩奉承而不发牢骚。总之，他要么拳打脚踢，要么奉承陪笑。究竟怎么样，你可以听听温米克的高见。”
“要么拳打脚踢，要么奉承陪笑。”温米克重复着说，根本就没有看我。
“来，我们为本特莱•德鲁莫尔夫人干杯，”贾格斯先生从他的回转式食品架上取下一瓶精制酒，给我们每人斟了一满杯，也给他自己斟满一杯，说道，“但愿究竟是谁胜的问题处理得使夫人满意！要使夫人和先生都满意，绝对不可能。茉莉，茉莉，茉莉，茉莉，你今天怎么这样慢啊！”
在他呼唤她时，她正在他的旁边，为餐桌上一道菜。菜上好后她缩回双手，向后退了一两步，有些紧张地嘟哝了几个词表示歉意。她说话时手指做了个动作，这引起了我的注意。
“你怎么啦？”贾格斯先生问道。
“没有什么，”我答道，“只不过谈论起这件事使我有点儿痛苦。”
她这手指的动作好像是在编织什么东西。她站在那里望着她的主人，不知道自己该不该走或者走后是不是又会被叫回来，主人有更多的话要对自己讲。可不是，这一双眼睛，还有这一双手，不是最近我曾见过的吗！在我的记忆中是多么清楚！
他叫她下去，她便悄然地从房中退出。但是她好像仍然站在我眼前，那么逼真，一点不假。我看着她的双手，我看着她的双眼，我看着她那飘起的秀发；我把它们和另外一双手比较，和另外一双眼睛比较，和另外的一头飘起的秀发比较，心想，如果那个人嫁了一个野性未改的丈夫，经历二十年的艰辛生活，会不会也成为这个样子呢。我又望了一下这位管家婆的一双手、一对眼睛，心头涌起一阵无可名状的感觉，想起了我最近一次在那座荒芜了的花园、在废弃了的制酒作坊散步时（当然不是孤独的散步）心头所涌起的情感。我又想起，有一次从马车的窗户里伸出一只手向我挥舞，探出一张面孔望着我时，我当时心头也涌起过同样的情感。我又想起，我曾经乘坐马车（当然不是孤独地乘坐），在经过一条黑暗的街道时，突然遇上了耀眼的灯光，在我脑子里这同样的感觉又一闪而过，就像闪过的雷电一般。我想起我在戏院中时，由于一时的联想却忽略了康佩生的在场；以往我不善于联想，而现在却对联想有了牢固的习惯，埃斯苔娜的名字在我脑中一闪而过时，我便联想到那手指编织时的动作，那双专心一致的眼睛。我感到我捕捉到了一个绝对可靠的情况，这个管家婆就是埃斯苔娜的母亲。
贾格斯先生曾经见到过我和埃斯苔娜在一起的情形，他不见得看不出我这未加掩饰的纷乱情感。当我说到这件事使我十分痛苦时，他拍了一下我的背，又给我们斟了一次酒，然后便自顾吃起他的晚饭了。
后来这位管家婆只又来过两次，而且在房里逗留的时间很短，再加上贾格斯先生对她又总是那么声色俱厉。但不管怎样，她的那双手就是埃斯苔娜的手，她的那双眼睛就是埃斯苔娜的眼睛。我的判断是肯定的，即使她再来一百次，我对此确信的程度也不会再增加，更不会减少。
这是一个很沉闷的夜晚，温米克一见酒杯斟满酒，就拿起酒杯像例行公事一样一饮而尽，这就和一发薪水他就把钱往口袋里一塞一样。他坐在那里，两个眼睛不断地望着东家，永远是一副准备被盘问的架势。至于他的酒量嘛，他的那张邮筒般的嘴和邮局的邮筒口也一样，只要向下投信，是来者不拒的。在我看来，今天在这里的肯定是温米克的双胞胎兄弟，尽管从外表上看，他和伍尔华斯的温米克长得一模一样。
我和温米克早早地告了辞，两人一起离开。我们在贾格斯先生的鞋堆里摸索着帽子时，我就预感到真正的温米克就要来了。我们顺着吉拉德街朝着伍尔华斯的方向走去，只不过才走了几码远，我就发现我已经用手臂挽着真正的温米克的胳膊了，而那个假的双胞胎兄弟已消失在夜晚的空气中。
温米克说道：“唔！一切都结束了！他可是个奇怪的人，他这个样子的人天下无双。我只要同他一起吃饭，就不得不把我的嘴巴拧紧；不过呢，事实上只有放松我才感到舒服。”
我感到他这话说得真是一针见血，我便把我的看法告诉他。
“这话除了你之外是不能和别人说的，”他答道，“我知道你我之间所说的话不会再让别人晓得。”
我问他是不是见到过郝维仙小姐的养女，也就是本特莱•德鲁莫尔夫人。他说没有见到过。为了话说得不那么突然，我先和他谈到老人家，又谈到司琪芬小姐。他一听我谈到司琪芬小姐，脸上便表现出一些狡猾的神色，并且停在街头擤起他的鼻子，那个摇头晃脑的样子和拿着手帕在空中挥舞的动作，就透出了他心里的高兴。
“温米克，”我说道，“你记不记得在我第一次去贾格斯先生家之前，你告诉我要注意他家的管家婆？”
“我说过吗？”他说道，“哦，我想起来是有这件事。真糟糕，”他脸色阴沉地补充道，“我想我是说过。我觉得我的嘴巴还没有完全拧松呢。”
“你把她叫做一头被驯服的野兽，有这回事吗？”
“那么你把她叫做什么呢？”
“和你叫的一样。温米克，贾格斯先生是怎样驯服她的呢？”
“那是他的秘密了。她待在他那里已经有许多年了。”
“我很想知道她的身世，希望你告诉我。我对她的身世特别感兴趣。你知道，我们两个人之间谈的话不会再让别人晓得的。”
“好吧！”温米克答道，“我并不知道她的身世，也就是说我不了解她的全部情况，但我可以告诉你我所知道的。当然，我们谈的都是以私人的身份和个人的关系为出发点的。”
“那是自然的。”
“约摸二十年前，这位妇女曾在伦敦中央刑事法院受审，犯的是谋杀罪，后来又无罪释放了。那时她可是个生得绝美的女人，还相当年轻。我看她身上有吉卜赛的血统，只要她一发脾气，就了不得了，你是可以想象得到的。”
“可是她无罪释放了。”
“贾格斯先生为她辩护，”温米克继续说着，脸上显现出一副意味深长的神色，“他使出惊人的辩护能力为此案出力。这本来是一件无可挽回的案子，贾格斯先生当时在各方面还比较嫩，可是这个案件他处理得人人惊服，事实上，可以说是这件案子造就了他的名声。他办这个案子时，天天往警察局跑，一连去了许多天，他的目的就是为她开脱每一个罪名。到了开庭的时候，因为他是个小律师，没有资格到庭辩护，便做辩护律师的下手，一件一件事为他想办法，这是大家都知道的事。被谋杀的也是一名妇女，不过这一个妇女比她要大十岁，比她长得高大，比她长得强壮。这是一件由争风吃醋而引起的案子。这两个女人都过着浪荡的生活，住在吉拉德街的这位茉莉年纪轻轻就嫁了人，用我们今天的话说，是和一个浪荡男人做了露水夫妻，她又有着强烈的妒忌心理，所以事情发生了。那个被杀害的妇女从岁数上看，说实在的，倒是更配得上那个浪荡男人，她的尸体是在洪斯鲁荒地的一个牛棚里发现的，显然，死前曾经有过一场你死我活的搏斗。死者全身到处被抓破，东一块伤西一块肿，最后是被卡住喉管窒息而死的。从当时的证据上看，除了茉莉外，是没有理由怀疑别人的。贾格斯先生为此案辩护的主要出发点就是，茉莉不可能掐死那个女人。不过你很清楚，”温米克碰了一下我的袖子，说道，“贾格斯先生现在不时也会说她两只手的力气很大，但那个时候他是不会这么说的。”
我曾告诉过温米克，有一次我们在贾格斯先生家吃晚餐，他把她的手腕按在桌子上给我们看过。
“于是，先生！”温米克又继续说下去，“正巧，可不是，你看不是正巧吗？就从她被逮捕的那一天开始，茉莉便在她的衣服上大用其功，不仅花样翻新，而且看上去比本来的样子苗条多了；特别是她的衣服袖管剪裁得那么精巧，看上去她的两条臂膀纤细得弱不禁风一样，直到今天人们都还记着这点呢。她身上有一两处伤痕，但这点伤痕对于一个浪荡女人来说又算得什么；不过她的手背上被什么弄破了，所以问题是手背上的伤口是否是被指甲划破的呢？而贾格斯先生告诉大家，她的手是在经过一大片丛密的荆棘地时被荆棘刺破的，荆棘长得不算太高，所以没有刺伤她的脸，但也不算太矮，所以她的手无法避免受到伤害，后来在她的皮肤上又确实发现了荆棘的小刺，这就是证据。后来他们又到荆棘地作现场调查，发现那片荆棘地的确被人踏得乱七八糟，还在几处地方发现从她衣服上扯下的小碎片，和刺破她的肉留下的血迹。但是，他最大胆的论点却是下面这件事。当时法庭提出要证明她妒忌成性的心理，她还有一项很重要的嫌疑。那就是在谋杀案发生的同时，她为了向那个浪荡男人报复，就亲手杀害了她和他所生的一个孩子，当时也才只有三岁。贾格斯先生是用下面的话为她辩护的：‘我们判定她的这些伤痕不是被指甲抓破的，而是被荆棘划破的，我们也到荆棘地作了调查，证明了这一点。可是你们偏说这是被指甲抓伤的，还提出了新的假设，咬定她亲手杀死了自己的孩子。那么你们一定得承认由这个假设导出的一切推论。那就是说，她亲手杀害她的孩子时，因为孩子紧紧抓住她，从而抓伤了她的双手。然后又怎么样呢？你们不是在审判她的谋杀亲子罪，那么，为什么你们不审一下呢？至于这个案件，你们如此抓住这些伤痕不放，我们可以认为，你们的目的是要找到一些解释，以证明这些伤痕不是你们捏造出来的，不是这样吗？’简单地说吧，老弟，”温米克继续说道，“贾格斯先生的言辞说得陪审团哑口无言，只有屈服认输。”
“那以后她就在他家中当佣人了吗？”
“是这样，不过不仅仅如此，”温米克说道，“事实上她刚一无罪释放，就到了他家中，而且就像现在一样的驯服了。她该尽的职责倒是一件一件地后来学会的，但她从一开始就被驯服了。”
“她的那个孩子是男还是女呢？”
“据说是一个女孩。”
“今晚你没有更多的东西要告诉我吗？”
“没有了。我接到你的信，读完后便毁掉了。其他就没有什么了。”
我们交换了一个亲切的晚安后，我便向回家的路上走去。旧的忧思尚未消去，新的愁虑又上心来。
Chapter 49
PUTTING Miss Havisham's note in my pocket, that it might serve as my credentials for so soon reappearing at Satis House, in case her waywardness should lead her to express any surprise at seeing me, I went down again by the coach next day. But I alighted at the Halfway House, and breakfasted there, and walked the rest of the distance; for, I sought to get into the town quietly by the unfrequented ways, and to leave it in the same manner. 
The best light of the day was gone when I passed along the quiet echoing courts behind the High-street. The nooks of ruin where the old monks had once had their refectories and gardens, and where the strong walls were now pressed into the service of humble sheds and stables, were almost as silent as the old monks in their graves. The cathedral chimes had at once a sadder and a more remote sound to me, as I hurried on avoiding observation, than they had ever had before; so, the swell of the old organ was borne to my ears like funeral music; and the rooks, as they hovered about the grey tower and swung in the bare high trees of the priory-garden, seemed to call to me that the place was changed, and that Estella was gone out of it for ever.
An elderly woman whom I had seen before as one of the servants who lived in the supplementary house across the back court-yard, opened the gate. The lighted candle stood in the dark passage within, as of old, and I took it up and ascended the staircase alone. Miss Havisham was not in her own room, but was in the larger room across the landing. Looking in at the door, after knocking in vain, I saw her sitting on the hearth in a ragged chair, close before, and lost in the contemplation of, the ashy fire.
Doing as I had often done, I went in, and stood, touching the old chimney-piece, where she could see me when she raised her eyes. There was an air or utter loneliness upon her, that would have moved me to pity though she had wilfully done me a deeper injury than I could charge her with. As I stood compassionating her, and thinking how in the progress of time I too had come to be a part of the wrecked fortunes of that house, her eyes rested on me. She stared, and said in a low voice, `Is it real?'
`It is I, Pip. Mr Jaggers gave me your note yesterday, and I have lost no time.'
`Thank you. Thank you.'
As I brought another of the ragged chairs to the hearth and sat down, I remarked a new expression on her face, as if she were afraid of me.
`I want,' she said, `to pursue that subject you mentioned to me when you were last here, and to show you that I am not all stone. But perhaps you can never believe, now, that there is anything human in my heart?'
When I said some reassuring words, she stretched out her tremulous right hand, as though she was going to touch me; but she recalled it again before I understood the action, or knew how to receive it.
`You said, speaking for your friend, that you could tell me how to do something useful and good. Something that you would like done, is it not?'
`Something that I would like done very much.'
`What is it?'
I began explaining to her that secret history of the partnership. I had not got far into it, when I judged from her looks that she was thinking in a discursive way of me, rather than of what I said. It seemed to be so, for, when I stopped speaking, many moments passed before she showed that she was conscious of the fact.
`Do you break off,' she asked then, with her former air of being afraid of me, `because you hate me too much to bear to speak to me?'
`No, no,' I answered, `how can you think so, Miss Havisham! I stopped because I thought you were not following what I said.'
`Perhaps I was not,' she answered, putting a hand to her head. `Begin again, and let me look at something else. Stay! Now tell me.'
She set her hand upon her stick, in the resolute way that sometimes was habitual to her, and looked at the fire with a strong expression of forcing herself to attend. I went on with my explanation, and told her how I had hoped to complete the transaction out of my means, but how in this I was disappointed. That part of the subject (I reminded her) involved matters which could form no part of my explanation, for they were the weighty secrets of another.
`So!' said she, assenting with her head, but not looking at me. `And how much money is wanting to complete the purchase?'
I was rather afraid of stating it, for it sounded a large sum. `Nine hundred pounds.'
`If I give you the money for this purpose, will you keep my secret as you have kept your own?'
`Quite as faithfully.'
`And your mind will be more at rest?'
`Much more at rest.'
`Are you very unhappy now?'
She asked this question, still without looking at me, but in an unwonted tone of sympathy. I could not reply at the moment, for my voice failed me. She put her left arm across the head of her stick, and softly laid her forehead on it.
`I am far from happy, Miss Havisham; but I have other causes of disquiet than any you know of. They are the secrets I have mentioned.'
After a little while, she raised her head and looked at the fire again.
`It is noble in you to tell me that you have other causes of unhappiness, Is it true?'
`Too true.'
`Can I only serve you, Pip, by serving your friend? Regarding that as done, is there nothing I can do for you yourself?'
`Nothing. I thank you for the question. I thank you even more for the tone of the question. But, there is nothing.'
She presently rose from her seat, and looked about the blighted room for the means of writing. There were non there, and she took from her pocket a yellow set of ivory tablets, mounted in tarnished gold, and wrote upon them with a pencil in a case of tarnished gold that hung from her neck.
`You are still on friendly terms with Mr Jaggers?'
`Quite. I dined with him yesterday.'
`This is an authority to him to pay you that money, to lay out at your irresponsible discretion for your friend. I keep no money here; but if you would rather Mr Jaggers knew nothing of the matter, I will send it to you.'
`Thank you, Miss Havisham; I have not the least objection to receiving it from him.'
She read me what she had written, and it was direct and clear, and evidently intended to absolve me from any suspicion of profiting by the receipt of the money. I took the tablets from her hand, and it trembled again, and it trembled more as she took off the chain to which the pencil was attached, and put it in mine. All this she did, without looking at me.
`My name is on the first leaf. If you can ever write under my name, "I forgive her," though ever so long after my broken heart is dust - pray do it!'
`O Miss Havisham,' said I, `I can do it now. There have been sore mistakes; and my life has been a blind and thankless one; and I want forgiveness and direction far too much, to be bitter with you.'
She turned her face to me for the first time since she had averted it, and, to my amazement, I may even add to my terror, dropped on her knees at my feet; with her folded hands raised to me in the manner in which, when her poor heart was young and fresh and whole, they must often have been raised to heaven from her mother's side.
To see her with her white hair and her worn face kneeling at my feet, gave me a shock through all my frame. I entreated her to rise, and got my arms about her to help her up; but she only pressed that hand of mine which was nearest to her grasp, and hung her head over it and wept. I had never seen her shed a tear before, and, in the hope that the relief might do her good, I bent over her without speaking. She was not kneeling now, but was down upon the ground.
`O!' she cried, despairingly. `What have I done! What have I done!'
`If you mean, Miss Havisham, what have you done to injure me, let me answer. Very little. I should have loved her under any circumstances. - Is she married?'
`Yes.'
It was a needless question, for a new desolation in the desolate house had told me so.
`What have I done! What have I done!' She wrung her hands, and crushed her white hair, and returned to this cry over and over again. `What have I done!'
I knew not how to answer, or how to comfort her. That she had done a grievous thing in taking an impressionable child to mould into the form that her wild resentment, spurned affection, and wounded pride, found vengeance in, I knew full well. But that, in shutting out the light of day, she had shut out infinitely more; that, in seclusion, she had secluded herself from a thousand natural and healing influences; that, her mind, brooding solitary, had grown diseased, as all minds do and must and will that reverse the appointed order of their Maker; I knew equally well. And could I look upon her without compassion, seeing her punishment in the ruin she was, in her profound unfitness for this earth on which she was placed, in the vanity of sorrow which had become a master mania, like the vanity of penitence, the vanity of remorse, the vanity of unworthiness, and other monstrous vanities that have been curses in this world?
`Until you spoke to her the other day, and until I saw in you a looking-glass that showed me what I once felt myself, I did not know what I had done. What have I done! What have I done!' And so again, twenty, fifty times over, What had she done!
`Miss Havisham,' I said, when her cry had died away, `you may dismiss me from your mind and conscience. But Estella is a different case, and if you can ever undo any scrap of what you have done amiss in keeping a part of her right nature away from her, it will be better to do that, than to bemoan the past through a hundred years.'
`Yes, yes, I know it. But, Pip - my Dear!' There was an earnest womanly compassion for me in her new affection. `My Dear! Believe this: when she first came to me, I meant to save her from misery like my own. At first I meant no more.'
`Well, well!' said I. `I hope so.'
`But as she grew, and promised to be very beautiful, I gradually did worse, and with my praises, and with my jewels, and with my teachings, and with this figure of myself always before her a warning to back and point my lessons, I stole her heart away and put ice in its place.'
`Better,' I could not help saying, `to have left her a natural heart, even to be bruised or broken.'
With that, Miss Havisham looked distractedly at me for a while, and then burst out again, What had she done!
`If you knew all my story,' she pleaded, `you would have some compassion for me and a better understanding of me.'
`Miss Havisham,' I answered, as delicately as I could, `I believe I may say that I do know your story, and have known it ever since I first left this neighbourhood. It has inspired me with great commiseration, and I hope I understand it and its influences. Does what has passed between us give me any excuse for asking you a question relative to Estella? Not as she is, but as she was when she first came here?'
She was seated on the ground, with her arms on the ragged chair, and her head leaning on them. She looked full at me when I said this, and replied, `Go on.'
`Whose child was Estella?'
She shook her head.
`You don't know?'
She shook her head again.
`But Mr Jaggers brought her here, or sent her here?'
`Brought her here.'
`Will you tell me how that came about?'
She answered in a low whisper and with caution: `I had been shut up in these rooms a long time (I don't know how long; you know what time the clocks keep here), when I told him that I wanted a little girl to rear and love, and save from my fate. I had first seen him when I sent for him to lay this place waste for me; having read of him in the newspapers, before I and the world parted. He told me that he would look about him for such an orphan child. One night he brought her here asleep, and I called her Estella.'
`Might I ask her age then?'
`Two or three. She herself knows nothing, but that she was left an orphan and I adopted her.'
So convinced I was of that woman's being her mother, that I wanted no evidence to establish the fact in my own mind. But, to any mind, I thought, the connection here was clear and straight.
What more could I hope to do by prolonging the interview? I had succeeded on behalf of Herbert, Miss Havisham had told me all she knew of Estella, I had said and done what I could to ease her mind. No matter with what other words we parted; we parted.
Twilight was closing in when I went down stairs into the natural air. I called to the woman who had opened the gate when I entered, that I would not trouble her just yet, but would walk round the place before leaving. For, I had a presentiment that I should never be there again, and I felt that the dying light was suited to my last view of it.
By the wilderness of casks that I had walked on long ago, and on which the rain of years had fallen since, rotting them in many places, and leaving miniature swamps and pools of water upon those that stood on end, I made my way to the ruined garden. I went all round it; round by the corner where Herbert and I had fought our battle; round by the paths where Estella and I had walked. So cold, so lonely, so dreary all!
Taking the brewery on my way back, I raised the rusty latch of a little door at the garden end of it, and walked through. I was going out at the opposite door - not easy to open now, for the damp wood had started and swelled, and the hinges were yielding, and the threshold was encumbered with a growth of fungus - when I turned my head to look back. A childish association revived with wonderful force in the moment of the slight action, and I fancied that I saw Miss Havisham hanging to the beam. So strong was the impression, that I stood under the beam shuddering from head to foot before I knew it was a fancy - though to be sure I was there in an instant.
The mournfulness of the place and time, and the great terror of this illusion, though it was but momentary, caused me to feel an indescribable awe as I came out between the open wooden gates where I had once wrung my hair after Estella had wrung my heart. Passing on into the front court-yard, I hesitated whether to call the woman to let me out at the locked gate of which she had the key, or first to go up-stairs and assure myself that Miss Havisham was as safe and well as I had left her. I took the latter course and went up.
I looked into the room where I had left her, and I saw her seated in the ragged chair upon the hearth close to the fire, with her back towards me. In the moment when I was withdrawing my head to go quietly away, I saw a great flaming light spring up. In the same moment, I saw her running at me, shrieking, with a whirl of fire blazing all about her, and soaring at least as many feet above her head as she was high.
I had a double-caped great-coat on, and over my arm another thick coat. That I got them off, closed with her, threw her down, and got them over her; that I dragged the great cloth from the table for the same purpose, and with it dragged down the heap of rottenness in the midst, and all the ugly things that sheltered there; that we were on the ground struggling like desperate enemies, and that the closer I covered her, the more wildly she shrieked and tried to free herself; that this occurred I knew through the result, but not through anything I felt, or thought, or knew I did. I knew nothing until I knew that we were on the floor by the great table, and that patches of tinder yet alight were floating in the smoky air, which, a moment ago, had been her faded bridal dress.
Then, I looked round and saw the disturbed beetles and spiders running away over the floor, and the servants coming in with breathless cries at the door. I still held her forcibly down with all my strength, like a prisoner who might escape; and I doubt if I even knew who she was, or why we had struggled, or that she had been in flames, or that the flames were out, until I saw the patches of tinder that had been her garments, no longer alight but falling in a black shower around us.
She was insensible, and I was afraid to have her moved, or even touched. Assistance was sent for and I held her until it came, as if I unreasonably fancied (I think I did) that if I let her go, the fire would break out again and consume her. When I got up, on the surgeon's coming to her with other aid, I was astonished to see that both my hands were burnt; for, I had no knowledge of it through the sense of feeling.
On examination it was pronounced that she had received serious hurts, but that they of themselves were far from hopeless; the danger lay mainly in the nervous shock. By the surgeon's directions, her bed was carried into that room and laid upon the great table: which happened to be well suited to the dressing of her injuries. When I saw her again, an hour afterwards, she lay indeed where I had seen her strike her stick, and had heard her say that she would lie one day.
Though every vestige of her dress was burnt, as they told me, she still had something of her old ghastly bridal appearance; for, they had covered her to the throat with white cotton-wool, and as she lay with a white sheet loosely overlying that, the phantom air of something that had been and was changed, was still upon her.
I found, on questioning the servants, that Estella was in Paris, and I got a promise from the surgeon that he would write to her by the next post. Miss Havisham's family I took upon myself; intending to communicate with Mr Matthew Pocket only, and leave him to do as he liked about informing the rest. This I did next day, through Herbert, as soon as I returned to town.
There was a stage, that evening, when she spoke collectedly of what had happened, though with a certain terrible vivacity. Towards midnight she began to wander in her speech, and after that it gradually set in that she said innumerable times in a low solemn voice, `What have I done!' And then, `When she first came, I meant to save her from misery like mine.' And then, `Take the pencil and write under my name, "I forgive her!"' She never changed the order of these three sentences, but she sometimes left out a word in one or other of them; never putting in another word, but always leaving a blank and going on to the next word.
As I could do no service there, and as I had, nearer home, that pressing reason for anxiety and fear which even her wanderings could not drive out of my mind, I decided in the course of the night that I would return by the early morning coach: walking on a mile or so, and being taken up clear of the town. At about six o'clock of the morning, therefore, I leaned over her and touched her lips with mine, just as they said, not stopping for being touched, `Take the pencil and write under my name, "I forgive her."'
 
我把郝维仙小姐的信揣在口袋里，必要时拿它作个凭证，因为我是如此迅速地赶到了沙提斯宅邸，万一她那刚愎自用的脾气一发，看到我如此会感到奇怪，那这封信就可用来解释了。于是第二天，我就搭上了马车。不过，这次我是在半途下车，在那儿吃过了早餐，就开始步行而去。因为我想寻找安静、不受干扰的小巷小街进入镇上，离开小镇时也是这样。
我沿着大街后面的几条安静得发出回声的小巷行走时，一天中最佳的时光已悄然逝去。这一荒废的角落曾经是僧人们的用斋堂和花园，旁边几道坚固的断墙处，现在只有几间简单粗陋的小棚和马厩，然而这里依然那么静，静得和墓地里躺着的僧人们一样，悄然无声。我匆忙地前行，唯恐引起人们注意。那大教堂传出的钟声似乎比以往任何时候听起来都更感凄凉，距我更为遥远。那古老的风琴声飘荡在空中，在我听起来竟是送葬的哀鸣曲一般。鸦群盘旋在灰塔之尖的周围，来回于修道院废弃花园中的几棵又高又秃的树顶，似乎在向我报告，这地方已经变化，埃斯苔娜已经离去，再也不会回来。
一位年长的妇女来给我开门。我曾经见过她，她就住在后院对面的一间屋里，是这里的一位女仆。一根蜡烛仍旧像过去一样燃点在漆黑一片的过道里，我还是像以往一样，拿起蜡烛，孤孤单单地一人爬上楼梯。郝维仙小姐不在她自己的房里，而在楼梯平台对着的大房间中。我敲敲门，没有回答，从门缝中向里张望，看到她坐在壁炉前的一张破椅子上，对着一炉灰烬中的火，不知在思考着什么，显出出神的样子。
像往常一样我走了进去，紧靠壁炉架站着，只要她一抬起眼皮就可以看见我站在这里。她的神态非常孤独寂寞，这使我十分感动，对她同情万分，虽然她曾经那么固执地深深伤害了我的心，即使她把我伤害得更深十分，我也仍然会同情她。哦，时光多么迅速，也把我变成了这座房子中一件残缺破败的东西了。这时她的眼睛转向了我。她睁大眼睛，用低低的声音说道：“真的是你来了吗？”
“是我皮普。昨天贾格斯先生把你的信转交给我，我抓紧时间赶到了这里。”
“谢谢你，谢谢你。”
我拖了另外一张破烂的椅子靠近壁炉，并且坐了下来。我发现在她的面孔上有一种新的表情，仿佛是有些怕我似的。
她说道：“你上次在我这里时提到的那件事，我想和你研究一下，同时可以向你表明，我绝不是个心如铁石的人。不过，你也许还是不会相信在我深深的内心尚留一些人味吧。”
我说了几句让她放心的话。她伸出她那颤抖的右手，看上去似乎想用手碰到我；不过，在我还没有弄清楚她这个动作的意思，或者我不知道该怎么样来领受她的感情时，她的手又缩了回去。
“上次你说要为你的朋友求个人情，说你会告诉我该怎么样为他做些有益的好事。你是要我给他帮点忙，不是吗？”
“我非常希望你能给他帮点忙。”
“帮点什么忙呢？”
于是我便向她说明我是如何在暗中帮他忙的，让他人股，和别人合作。我还没有讲得很多，我就觉察到她的神情漫不经心，似乎并不在思考我所说的话，而在想着我这个人。我停住话头，过了不少时间她才好像醒悟过来，感到我停了下来。
“你停住不讲了，”她的神态和刚才一样，有些害怕我似的，说道，“因为你非常恨我，不想和我说，是不是？”
“不，不是的，”我答道，“郝维仙小姐，你不要这样想，我停下说话，是因为我想你也许不想听我的话。”
“也许我没有注意听，”她用一只手托住头，答道，“重新讲一遍，让我望着别的什么地方听你讲。等一会儿！好了，现在你开始对我说吧。”
她的另一只手按住拐杖，她的神态和往常一样，是一副习惯性的毅然决然的样子，一方面望着火炉，一方面强打起精神在听我讲。我继续讲下去，说我本来想用自己的资金帮他把这件事办成，不过现在我不能如愿以偿了。至于这其中的原因，我提醒她，我是不能告诉她的，因为这涉及到另外一个人的非常重大的秘密。
“是这么回事！”她动了一下头，表示同意，但是并没有望着我。“你要把这件事办成究竟需要多少钱？”
我真不敢说出这个数字，因为听起来这数字是一大笔钱。“九百镑。”
“要是我拿出这笔钱使你达到目的，你能够像保守你自己的秘密一样而保守我的秘密吗？”
“完全能够。”
“那么你的心放下了吗？”
“基本上放下了。”
“你还有什么不愉快的事吗？”
她向我提出这个问题时，仍然没有抬眼望我，但是她说话的调子却表现出一种难以见到的同情。此时此刻我的声音因激动而哽咽，一句话也说不出。而她这时用左臂留住了拐杖的头，把前额轻柔地搁在了上面。
“郝维仙小姐，我无法愉快；但我不得安宁、不愉快还有你所不知的原因。这也是我向你提到过的秘密。”
过了一会儿她抬起头，又对着火炉呆呆地望起来。
“你告诉我你尚有别的不愉快的原由，这表现出你高尚的气质。我还想问一下，你所说的是真的吗？”
“的确是真的。”
“皮普，难道我给你帮忙只是帮你朋友的忙吗？给你的朋友帮忙已经定了，难道我就不能帮帮你本人的忙吗？”
“我没有需要帮忙的地方。谢谢你提出这一点，更要谢谢你问我的语气这般美好。不过，我没有需要帮忙的地方。”
她立刻从椅子上站了起来，环视了一下这枯萎了的房间，想看看哪儿有纸笔。四处都没有找见。于是她从口袋里掏出一本黄色的象牙簿，上面镶有金饰，现在已失去光泽，又从吊在她脖子上的失去光泽的金盒子中拿出一支铅笔，在象牙簿上写着什么。
“你和贾格斯先生之间的友谊现在仍然很好吗？”
“很好，昨天我还和他一起吃饭呢。”
“你可以凭这个到他那里去取款，然后你可以随意地为你的朋友帮忙。我这里没有现款，不过，如果你不希望让贾格斯先生知道这件事，我可以叫人把钱送给你。”
“谢谢你，郝维仙小姐；我愿意到他那里去取这笔钱。”
她把她已经写好的字据读给我听，写得直截了当、干净利落，而且显然地是为了避免别人对我的怀疑，以为我接受这笔钱是为了自己。我从她手中接过象牙簿，她的手又颤抖了起来；在她从脖子上解下那根系着铅笔的链子交给我时，她的手颤抖得更厉害。她在做所有这些事时，一眼也没有瞧过我。
“这小簿子的第一页上就是我的名字。如果你什么时候能在我的名字下面写上‘我原谅她’这几个字，即使我这颗破碎的心早已化为尘土，我还是要请你写上！”
“哦，郝维仙小姐，”我说道，“我现在就可以写。人都有过伤心的错事；就是我的一生也是盲目从事及不可原谅的一生。我还要别人来原宥我，来批评我，又怎么会抱怨你呢？”
她刚才一直没有正视我，现在才第一次转过面孔来望着我；使我大为吃惊的是她这时跪在了我面前，对着我举起合着的双手，这简直使我惊骇万分。我想在她这颗可怜的心还处于童稚时期时，她一定是常跪在她母亲的脚前向上天祈求的。
眼看这一位生满白发、面孔枯瘦的老人竟然跪在我的脚下，这使我全身颤抖起来。我请求她站起来，伸开双臂去扶她；可是她只是抓住我的一只她能够抓得着的手，并且把她的头倚在我的手腕上，悲伤地哭了起来。从前我从来没有见她流过一滴眼泪；现在我无言地俯身看着她，心中暗想，让她痛哭，哭去她深藏在心中的痛苦，也许对她倒有益处。她现在已不跪在地上，而是跌坐在地上。
“哦！”她绝望地叫道，“我竟做出这种事来了！我怎么做出这种事来了！”
“郝维仙小姐，如果你的意思是指你已经伤透了我的心，那么我的回答是，那没有什么，我在任何情况下都会爱她。她现在结婚了吗？”
“结婚了。”
这本是没有必要的问题，因为这座凄凉的宅邸中新添的一层凄凉情意已经说明了这一点。
“我竟然做出这种事来！我竟然做出这种事来！”她搓着双手，把自己的白发弄得乱七八糟，一次又一次地重复着这句话，“我竟然会做出这种事！”
我真不知道如何回答她的问题，我不知道如何安慰她的心。她做了一件严重的令人伤心的事，按自己的模型塑造了一个敏感的无辜女孩，因为她自己怀着狂乱的怨恨，情感被别人玩弄，自尊心受到伤害，她就要让这个女孩长大成人后为她报仇雪恨，我对这些都知道得太清楚了。然而，她把自己和白日的阳光隔离，她把自己和一切事物无限地隔离；她孤独地生活，她把自己和成千上万自然而有益的事物隔离；她的整颗心都在孤独地沉思，因而扭曲损伤，这和世上所有违背了上帝安排的人一样，都一定、必然地得到这种后果。对于这一点我同样知道得很清楚。因此，我能毫无同情地看着她吗？她如此在毁灭中得到惩罚，虽生于人间而又感到深深的不安、无限的悲伤，不仅无用反而把自己弄得疯疯癫癫，像所有的这一类人一样；忏悔又有何用，懊丧又有何用，感到自己没有价值又有何用，这种希奇古怪、徒然荒唐的事除掉给人世间带来祸根以外，还能带来什么？
“直到那一天我听到你对她所说的话，我看到你就像一面镜子，照出了我当年的心情，我这才悟出自己竟然做出了这种荒唐事。我竟然做出这种事来，我怎么能做出这种事！”她一遍又一遍地重复着，重复了二十次，五十次，她竟会做出这种事来！
“郝维仙小姐，”等她伤心的哭诉停止之后，我对她说道，“在你的心中，在你的良心中不必为我顾虑而难过，你应该想一想埃斯苔娜，因为你使她走向错误之途，你使她的善良天性歪曲。如果你能做一点什么，能挽回哪怕一点儿什么，你最好还是尽量去挽回为佳，这比你懊悔一百年要好得多。”
“你说得很对，我知道。不过，我亲爱的皮普！”这时我发现她一丝新的情感，那是一种真心诚意的女性的同情，“亲爱的皮普，你相信我：她第一次到我这里来时，我本意是救她脱离苦海，免遭像我一样的厄运。最初我只是如此，没有想到别的。”
“太好了，太好了！”我说道，“我希望是如此。”
“但是她慢慢长大起来，眼看就长成一个美人了，我对她的教养也就变了，走上了另一条路。我夸奖她生得漂亮，给她戴上珠宝，如此地教育她，用我自身的例子作为前车之鉴，告诉她该怎么办，结果我攫走了她整颗心，而换上了一块寒冰。”
我不得不说道：”‘最好还是留给她一颗自然的心，即使这颗心受了伤，破碎了，也比不自然的心要好。”
郝维仙小姐听了我说的话，满怀迷惑地望着我，过了一会儿，又大声嚷道，她怎么会做出这种事！
她为自己会做出这种事对我解释性地说道：“你要是知道我一生的遭遇，你就会对我有一点儿同情，对我就会有一点更好的理解。”
“郝维仙小姐，”我尽量用温文尔雅的语调答道，“我可以说我了解你的一生遭遇，而且在我刚离开乡下时我就了解了。我一直怀着很大的同。请听讲你的身世，我不仅了解你的身世，而且了解你的身世所产生的影响。我想，以我们之间的交往，我是不是可以提出一个关于埃斯苔娜的问题？当然不是关于她现在怎么样，而是关于她过去的情况，她刚刚来到这里时的情况。”
她还是坐在地上，两条手臂搁在破烂的椅子上，头倚在手臂上。在我说话时，她一直望着我，然后答道：‘你说吧。”
“埃斯苔娜是谁的孩子？”
她摇着头。
“你不知道吗？”
她又摇着头。
“是贾格斯先生把她带来的还是派人把她送来的？”
“他把她带来的。”
“你能否告诉我她的详情呢？”
她十分小心谨慎地低声对我说：“我把自己关在这所房屋里一个时期后（我不知道究竟过了多少时间，你看这里所有的钟表都不走了），我告诉贾格斯先生，我想要一个小姑娘，一方面抚养她，一方面疼爱她，并且可以使她免遭我的命运。在我和这个世界隔绝之前我就在报纸上读到过他的名字；我便请人去找他，要他到我这里来为我处理事务，那是我们第一次见面。他告诉我他愿意为我寻找一个孤儿。一个晚上他来到我这里，带来一个女孩，当时她正睡着，我便叫她埃斯苔娜。”
“我想问一下她当时几岁？”
“两三岁吧。她对于自己什么也不知道，她只知道自己是一个孤儿，由我收养的。”
于是我确信那位管家婆就是她的母亲，我不需要证据就可以得出这个结论。我想，无论是谁都会看出，这其中的联系非常清楚，而且一眼就能看出。
我们这次见面到此为止，没有必要再延长下去，因为延长下去也没有什么可做的。至于赫伯特的事，愿望已经达到；至于埃斯苔娜的事，郝维仙小姐已经把她所知道的全都告诉了我，我能给她的安慰也说尽了，没有更多的话可说，我们便告别了；我们就这样告别了。
我走下楼梯进入自然的新鲜空气当中，此时正是暮色苍茫。我告诉那位刚才我进来时为我开门的老妇人，说我现在不麻烦她开门，在离开这里之前，我准备在里面走走逛逛。我似乎有一种预感，我再也不会来到这里，何况这即将消逝的白日之光正适合于我在此作一次最后的凭吊。
这里堆放着许多荒废了的酒桶，多少年前我曾踏在桶上行走。自从那以后，又经历了多少年的雨水浸蚀，那些原来竖立的酒桶都已腐朽，变成了小小的沼池和河塘，于是我向荒废的花园走去，围着园子散起步来。我绕到我曾和赫伯特比试本领大打出手的地方，绕到我和埃斯苔娜曾经散步过的地方。现在一切都是那么寒冷疏远，那么孤独寂寞，那么荒凉凄苦！
我绕回来时走的是制酒作坊的那条路。我走到花园尽头的一个小门处，把生锈的门闩拔开，从此屋穿过，到了对面的那扇门，从那里走出去。这扇门可不容易开，木头因受潮膨胀已松动，门闩和插销处已对不上，门槛上都生出了一片菌类植物。出门后我又回头张望了一番，霎时间，童年时代的联想又一次在心灵中奇怪地复活，在幻觉中我突然看见郝维仙小姐正吊在屋子的大梁之下，形象的逼真强烈，令我站在大梁之下全身上下发抖。我很快意识到这原来是一个幻觉，但我已经站在了大梁之下。
在这个地点，在如此的时刻，真令人伤感，幻觉给我带来无限的恐惧。虽然这一切都瞬时即逝，然而在我走出打开的木门时，这仍然使我感到一阵无可名状的畏惧。我记得那次埃斯苔娜令我伤心之后，我就是站在这扇门旁乱揪我的头发。从这里我走到前院，心中踌躇着究竟是去叫老妇人开门让我离去，还是再到楼上去一次，看看郝维仙小姐是否和我刚才告别时一样平安无事。我终于采取第二个方案，直接走上楼去。
我走到刚才告别的屋子，窥视了一下屋中，看到郝维仙小姐坐在紧靠着壁炉的破烂椅子上，后背正朝着我。于是我便想离去，就在这时，我刚把头缩回，就看到一团火光突然蹿起；同时，她惊慌叫喊着向着我这边奔来，一团炽烈的火裹住了她的全身，火焰向上直蹿，几乎有她两个人那么高。
我当时穿着一件双层披肩的大衣，在手臂上还搭着另外一件厚呢大衣。我连忙把大衣脱下，朝她冲过去，将她扑倒在地，把两件大衣都盖在她的身上，又从桌子上拖下了那块大桌布，也盖到她身上。这一拖连同桌上所放的一堆破烂东西以及寄居在这里的一切丑陋的东西全给拖了下来；我们就像两个不共戴天的仇人在进行着殊死的搏斗，我把她盖得越紧，她越是狂乱地叫喊着，想挣脱出来。当时我对于这一切情况全无感知，既没有想到，也没有可能知道，直到事情结束后才晓得。等我悟到时，我们正躺在大桌子旁边的地板上，仅仅在一霎时之间，她刚才穿在身上的那件褪色旧新娘礼服已随着火光而变成了一块一块火绒，飘飞在烟雾之中了。
然后我望望四周，看到惊慌失措的甲虫和蜘蛛在地板上四处奔逃，仆役们气喘喘地奔来，在门口就惊叫着。我仍然用尽全身气力压住她，好像压在一个企图逃跑的犯人身上一样；其时我已丧魂落魄，不知道被压的人究竟是谁，不知道为什么我们要扭打，不知道她被火舌卷住，也不知道火已被扑熄，最后见到曾经是她结婚礼服的片片火绒从空中落下，犹似一片黑雨，降落在我四周，我才有所领悟。
她已失去了知觉，我也吓得不敢动她一下，甚至不敢碰她一下。我一方面派人去找医生，一方面仍然按住她，因为我有一种毫无道理的幻想（我也许是有这种想法吧），认为只要我一放手，火又会燃起把她烧化。等到外科医生带着助手赶到，我才站起身来，这时才发现我的双手也被烧伤，这使我大为吃惊。我不知道是什么时候被烧伤的，因为我根本就没有感觉到。
经过医生检查之后，断定她是严重烧伤，不过这关系不大，烧伤并非无救，最主要的危险是神经性休克。在外科医生的指导下，她的床垫被搬到了这个房间，让她躺在了这张大长桌上，因为这么一个场所正适合医生当作手术台对她进行包扎等护理。一个小时之后我再去看她，她睡在大桌上，正是我曾看她用手杖指着，并且曾亲耳听到她说是她死后停尸的地方。
虽然她身上的结婚礼服已被烧得毫无痕迹，可他们告诉我，她仍然保持着她身上那可怕的新娘般的神态。现在，医生们用药水棉花裹住她直至喉头，又用一块宽宽松松的白布盖在了她身上，然而她的那副幽灵般的神态仍然忽隐忽现地表现出来。
我问了仆役们，才知道埃斯苔娜正在巴黎，医生答应我立刻就写信给她，由下一班邮车带去。至于郝维仙小姐的家属就由我来通知，我只准备告诉马休•鄱凯特先生，并且由他决定究竟通知谁。第二天，我一回到伦敦便让赫伯特去处理这件事。
头一天晚上我留在她家时，郝维仙小姐曾神志清醒地谈到发生的这次事故，其活跃程度令人感到反常；到了午夜，她开始口出胡言，然后又逐渐无数次地用又低又严肃的声音重复说着“我竟然做出这种事情！”“她第一次来到这里时，我原来是想让她脱离我曾遭遇到的这种不幸苦难。”“拿起铅笔在我名字下面写上‘我原谅她’！”这三句话的顺序她一点也不颠倒，最多这个句子或那个句子中漏掉一个字，但是她不会补上另外一个字。她总是空下了一个字，然后接着就说下一个字。
因为我留下来对他们也无用，而且家里的事情正压在我心头，所以我十分焦急，十分担忧。尽管她一直说着胡话，可还是无法抹去我心中所想的事情。这天晚上我便决定，第二天乘早班驿车返回伦敦。我可以先走一两英里路，出了镇再登上马车。第二天一早六时，我俯身用我的嘴唇碰了一下她的嘴唇，就这时她还在继续说着：“拿起铅笔在我名字下面写上‘我原谅她’。”
Chapter 50
MY hands had been dressed twice or thrice in the night, and again in the morning. My left arm was a good deal burned to the elbow, and, less severely, as high as the shoulder; it was very painful, but the flames had set in that direction, and I felt thankful it was no worse. My right hand was not so badly burnt but that I could move the fingers. It was bandaged, of course, but much less inconveniently than my left hand and arm; those I carried in a sling; and I could only wear my coat like a cloak, loose over my shoulders and fastened at the neck. My hair had been caught by the fire, but not my head or face. 
When Herbert had been down to Hammersmith and seen his father, he came back me at our chambers, and devoted the day to attending on me. He was the kindest of nurses, and at stated times took off the bandages, and steeped them in the cooling liquid that was kept ready, and put them on again, with a patient tenderness that I was deeply grateful for.
At first, as I lay quiet on the sofa, I found it painfully difficult, I might say impossible, to get rid of the impression of the glare of the flames, their hurry and noise, and the fierce burning smell. If I dozed for a minute, I was awakened by Miss Havisham's cries, and by her running at me with all that height of fire above her head. This pain of the mind was much harder to strive against than any bodily pain I suffered; and Herbert, seeing that, did his utmost to hold my attention engaged.
Neither of us spoke of the boat, but we both thought of it. That was made apparent by our avoidance of the subject, and by our agreeing - without agreement - to make my recovery of the use of my hands, a question of so many hours, not of so many weeks.
My first question when I saw Herbert had been of course, whether all was well down the river? As he replied in the affirmative, with perfect confidence and cheerfulness, we did not resume the subject until the day was wearing away. But then, as Herbert changed the bandages, more by the light of the fire than by the outer light, he went back to it spontaneously.
`I sat with Provis last night, Handel, two good hours.'
`Where was Clara?'
`Dear little thing!' said Herbert. `She was up and down with Gruffandgrim all the evening. He was perpetually pegging at the floor, the moment she left his sight. I doubt if he can hold out long though. What with rum and pepper - and pepper and rum - I should think his pegging must be nearly over.'
`And then you will be married, Herbert?'
`How can I take care of the dear child otherwise? - Lay your arm out upon the back of the sofa, my dear boy, and I'll sit down here, and get the bandage off so gradually that you shall not know when it comes. I was speaking of Provis. Do you know, Handel, he improves?'
`I said to you I thought he was softened when I last saw him.'
`So you did. And so he is. He was very communicative last night, and told me more of his life. You remember his breaking off here about some woman that he had had great trouble with. - Did I hurt you?'
I had started, but not under his touch. His words had given me a start.
`I had forgotten that, Herbert, but I remember it now you speak of it.'
`Well! He went into that part of his life, and a dark wild part it is. Shall I tell you? Or would it worry you just now?'
`Tell me by all means. Every word.'
Herbert bent forward to look at me more nearly, as if my reply had been rather more hurried or more eager than he could quite account for. `Your head is cool?' he said, touching it.
`Quite,' said I. `Tell me what Provis said, my dear Herbert.'
`It seems,' said Herbert, ` - there's a bandage off most charmingly, and now comes the cool one - makes you shrink at first, my poor dear fellow, don't it? but it will be comfortable presently - it seems that the woman was a young woman, and a jealous woman, and a revengeful woman; revengeful, Handel, to the last degree.'
`To what last degree?'
`Murder. - Does it strike too cold on that sensitive place?'
`I don't feel it. How did she murder? Whom did she murder?' `Why, the deed may not have merited quite so terrible a name,' said Herbert, `but, she was tried for it, and Mr Jaggers defended her, and the reputation of that defence first made his name known to Provis. It was another and a stronger woman who was the victim, and there had been a struggle - in a barn. Who began it, or how fair it was, or how unfair, may be doubtful; but how it ended, is certainly not doubtful, for the victim was found throttled.'
`Was the woman brought in guilty?'
`No; she was acquitted. - My poor Handel, I hurt you!'
`It is impossible to be gentler, Herbert. Yes? What else?'
`This acquitted young woman and Provis had a little child: a little child of whom Provis was exceedingly fond. On the evening of the very night when the object of her jealousy was strangled as I tell you, the young woman presented herself before Provis for one moment, and swore that she would destroy the child (which was in her possession), and he should never see it again; then, she vanished. - There's the worst arm comfortably in the sling once more, and now there remains but the right hand, which is a far easier job. I can do it better by this light than by a stronger, for my hand is steadiest when I don't see the poor blistered patches too distinctly. - You don't think your breathing is affected, my dear boy? You seem to breathe quickly.'
`Perhaps I do, Herbert. Did the woman keep her oath?'
`There comes the darkest part of Provis's life. She did.'
`That is, he says she did.'
`Why, of course, my dear boy,' returned Herbert, in a tone of surprise, and again bending forward to get a nearer look at me. `He says it all. I have no other information.'
`No, to be sure.'
`Now, whether,' pursued Herbert, `he had used the child's mother ill, or whether he had used the child's mother well, Provis doesn't say; but, she had shared some four or five years of the wretched life he described to us at this fireside, and he seems to have felt pity for her, and forbearance towards her. Therefore, fearing he should be called upon to depose about this destroyed child, and so be the cause of her death, he hid himself (much as he grieved for the child), kept himself dark, as he says, out of the way and out of the trial, and was only vaguely talked of as a certain man called Abel, out of whom the jealousy arose. After the acquittal she disappeared, and thus he lost the child and the child's mother.'
`I want to ask--'
`A moment, my dear boy, and I have done. That evil genius, Compeyson, the worst of scoundrels among many scoundrels, knowing of his keeping out of the way at that time, and of his reasons for doing so, of course afterwards held the knowledge over his head as a means of keeping him poorer, and working him harder. It was clear last night that this barbed the point of Provis's animosity.'
`I want to know,' said I, `and particularly, Herbert, whether he told you when this happened?'
`Particularly? Let me remember, then, what he said as to that. His expression was, "a round score o' year ago, and a'most directly after I took up wi' Compeyson." How old were you when you came upon him in the little churchyard?'
`I think in my seventh year.'
`Ay. It had happened some three or four years then, he said, and you brought into his mind the little girl so tragically lost, who would have been about your age.'
`Herbert,' said I, after a short silence, in a hurried way, `can you see me best by the light of the window, or the light of the fire?'
`By the firelight,' answered Herbert, coming close again.
`Look at me.'
`I do look at you, my dear boy.'
`Touch me.'
`I do touch you, my dear boy.'
`You are not afraid that I am in any fever, or that my head is much disordered by the accident of last night?'
`N-no, my dear boy,' said Herbert, after taking time to examine me. `You are rather excited, but you are quite yourself.'
`I know I am quite myself. And the man we have in hiding down the river, is Estella's Father.'
 
我的双手当夜就换过两次绷带，一早起来又换了一次。我的左臂从手直到胳膊肘这部分烧伤得很严重，上半部分伤势则比较轻，可是整个臂膀都很痛；不过当时的火势朝这个方向发展得很猛，没有造成更大损伤，倒是不幸中之大幸。我的右手不像左手烧伤得那么厉害，几个手指都能够活动。当然，右手也缠上了绷带，不过比起左手和左臂来却是方便得多了。整个左臂因为用绷带吊着，大衣只能像个斗篷似的披着，松松地搭在肩上，在脖子里扎了一下。我的头发也着了火，幸好没有伤到头脸。
赫伯特专程去汉莫史密斯看望了他的父亲后，便赶回我们住的地方，诚心诚意地整天侍奉着我。他是最好心肠的护士，非常按时地解下我的绷带，把它泡在准备好的清凉药水浸液中，然后再替我包扎好，非常耐心，动作非常轻柔，使我深深地感激他。
起先，我安静地躺在沙发上，发现要想摆脱大脑中出现的明亮火光，是十分困难的，甚至可以说是不可能的。我大脑中总是不断地出现人们的奔跑声、吵闹声、迎面扑来的刺鼻的烧焦气味。只要我一打盹儿，就会被郝维仙小姐的呼叫声惊醒，好像她正向着我奔来，头上蹿起高高的火焰。这种心灵中升起的痛苦比所经受的任何肉体上的痛苦要难熬得多。赫伯特一看到我这种情况，便尽最大的努力来控制我的注意力。
我们两人中谁都不提起那条小船，但是我们都在想到船。显而易见，我们虽然嘴上避开这个主题，但是我们却无须签约而一致同意要使我的双手恢复其功能，最好是能在几个小时之内恢复，而不能拖上几个星期。
我看到赫伯特的时候，第一个问题就是问他河滨的那个人是否一切都好！他的回答是肯定的，态度也表现出十分的把握，而且看上去心情愉快，仅此足够，不必再谈论下去了。一直到白天慢慢地消逝，等到赫伯特给我换绷带已不能依靠天光，只有借用炉火的光才行时，他才又不自觉地提到上面那件事情。
“汉德尔，昨晚我和普鲁威斯坐在一起消磨了两个小时。”
“克拉娜到哪里去了呢？”
“不要谈这个可爱的小东西了！”赫伯特答道，“她整夜都上上下下为了那个凶神打转转。只要她一离开，他就拼命地敲地板。我看他不会再活多久了。他一会儿要朗姆酒加胡椒，一会又要胡椒加朗姆酒，我看他敲楼板的机会也不会多了。”
“赫伯特，到那时你们就该结婚了？”
“如果不结婚，我又该把这个可爱的小东西怎么办？你把臂膀放在沙发背上，我的老兄。我就坐在这里，给你把绷带解下来。你不会有什么感觉，等我全部揭下来时你都不会发觉。我刚才正谈到普鲁威斯，汉德尔，他现在的脾气可改进多了呢，你知道吗？”
“我早就对你说过，上次我看到他时就发现他温和得多了。”
“你的确说过。他真的温和多了。昨天晚上他谈了很多，又告诉了我更多的关于他个人的经历。你记得上次他提到过有一个女人给他带来麻烦，但他一提到就不再讲下去了吗？——我弄疼了你吗？”
他的话使我猛惊了一下，倒不是他解绷带时弄疼了我。
“赫伯特，我已经忘掉这件事了，你现在一谈起，我就想起来是有这回事。”
“好吧！这次他又提到他经历中的这件事，这段经历在他一生中是很狂乱的。我给你讲讲好不好？否则你会心烦的。”
“你一定要讲清楚，一个字也不能少。”
赫伯特俯下身子，离我很近，仔细地看着我，仿佛我的答话过分匆忙，又显得焦急，他几乎应付不过来似的。他摸了一下我的头，说道：“你的头脑清醒吗？”
“十分清醒，”我说道，“告诉我普鲁威斯所说的话，亲爱的赫伯特。”
赫伯特说道：“看来这条绷带倒是挺不错的，现在来换上这条清凉的——一开始要注意，它会使你冷得缩回膀子，我亲爱的老朋友，不是吗？不过一会儿你就会感到舒服的。那个女人似乎是一个年轻的女人，一个喜欢争风吃醋的女人，一个爱报复的女人；汉德尔，她的报复心可重呢，可以说达到登峰造极的程度。”
“登峰造极到什么程度？”
“杀人。把绷带扎在你皮肤的敏感地方，你嫌凉吗？”
“一点儿不感到凉。她是怎么样杀人的？她杀的又是谁？”
“其实从其行为上看，并不能构成如此可怕的罪名，”赫伯特说道，“不过她确实为此事而受审。贾格斯先生为她辩护，也正是这次辩护使贾格斯先生出人头地，使普鲁威斯第一次知道他的大名。被害者是一位比她更有力气的人，她们两人发生了一场打斗，是在一间牲畜棚里。谁先动手打人，是否打得公平，或者是否打得不公平，这些都值得怀疑。不过打的结果是不容怀疑的，人们发现被害者是被双手掐死的。”
“这个女人被定罪了吗？”
“没有定罪，她被无罪释放——我可怜的汉德尔，我碰疼了你吗？”
“你的动作再柔和没有了，赫伯特。是这样吗？还有呢？”
“这位无罪释放的女人和普鲁威斯有过一个孩子，普鲁威斯特别喜欢这个孩子。就在我刚才讲到的那个晚上，那个她用双手掐死她所妒忌的那个女人的晚上，她曾到普鲁威斯的住处去过，发誓非要杀死这个孩子不可，因为这个孩子是归她所有的，她要让他永远再也看不见这个孩子。然后，这个女人就消失了。现在你这条烧伤严重的臂膀已经扎好吊好了，弄得妥妥帖帖，还剩下这只右手，这就更好办了。我宁可在弱光下给你包扎，也不能在强光下包扎，因为在弱光下，那些可怕的水泡我看不清楚，我也就会稳妥地包扎。我的老兄，你没有感到你的呼吸有些异样吗？你好像呼吸加速了。”
“也许是加速了，赫伯特。那个女人讲话算数了吗？”
“这就成为普鲁威斯一生中最黑暗的时期，因为她真的杀了那个孩子。”
“那就是说普鲁威斯认为她实现了誓言。”
“这当然了，怎么，我的老兄，”赫伯特用惊讶的语气答道，又一次俯下身子很近地望着我，“这都是他所说的，我再没有其他的消息了。”
“当然是再没有了。”
“再说，”赫伯特继续说道，“至于他是对这孩子的妈妈好呢，还是对孩子的妈妈不好，普鲁威斯可没有说。不过，她和他曾风雨同舟、同甘共苦了四五年，就是他在这个壁炉边所说过的。他似乎对她颇有同情之心，对她也很体谅。因为唯恐自己会被传上法庭为杀死孩子一事作证，并因此而判她死刑，所以他躲避起来。尽管他为孩子的死十分地痛心，照他自己的话说，那时他什么人都不见，也绝不愿到庭，所以开庭审判时，关于两个女人因妒忌相争一案仅含糊其辞地说是为了一个叫做艾伯尔的男人。无罪释放之后，她便消失了，他也就从此失去了孩子和孩子的妈妈。”
“我想问——”
“我的老兄，待一会儿再问，我就讲完了。那个恶棍康佩生，那是个无赖当中的无赖。他当时完全知道普鲁威斯避开众人，也知道他避开众人的原因。康佩生便以此来折磨他，逼着他干越来越重的活，使他日子过得越来越穷。显而易见，从昨晚的谈话中可以看出普鲁威斯和康佩生之间不共戴天之怨仇就是如此结下来的。”
“我想知道，”我对他说，“赫伯特，我特别想知道，他告诉你的事究竟发生于什么时候？”
“特别想知道？让我来想一下，我记得他是这么说的，他说‘约摸二十年前，几乎在我刚和康佩生搭档时，就发生了此事’。在乡村公墓遇到他时你几岁？”
“我记得是七岁左右吧。”
“嗨，他说，这事发生后三四年他就遇上了你。一看到你便引起他对自己小女儿的思念，她死得那般惨，她和你的年纪差不多。”
“赫伯特，”沉默了一会儿，我匆忙地说道，“你就着窗外的光看我清楚，还是就炉火的光看我清楚？”
“就炉火的光。”赫伯特向我靠近了些答道。
“你看着我吧。”
“我是在看着你，老兄。”
“摸一摸我。”
“我是在摸，老兄。”
“你可以不必担心，我没有发烧，昨天的事故也没有使我的头脑紊乱，明白吗？”
“是的，是的，亲爱的朋友。”赫伯特说道。他审视了我一会儿后又说：“你有点儿激动，不过你很正常。”
“我不知道我很正常。我得让你知道，我们窝藏在河边的那个人就是埃斯苔娜的父亲。”
Chapter 51
WHAT purpose I had in view when I was hot on tracing out and proving Estella's parentage, I cannot say. It will presently be seen that the question was not before me in a distinct shape, until it was put before me by a wiser head than my own. 
But, when Herbert and I had held our momentous conversation, I was seized with a feverish conviction that I ought to hunt the matter down - that I ought not to let it rest, but that I ought to see Mr Jaggers, and come at the bare truth. I really do not know whether I felt that I did this for Estella's sake, or whether I was glad to transfer to the man in whose preservation I was so much concerned, some rays of the romantic interest that had so long surrounded her. Perhaps the latter possibility may be the nearer to the truth.
Any way, I could scarcely be withheld from going out to Gerrard-street that night. Herbert's representations that if I did, I should probably be laid up and stricken useless, when our fugitive's safety would depend upon me, alone restrained my impatience. On the understanding, again and again reiterated, that come what would, I was to go to Mr Jaggers to-morrow, I at length submitted to keep quiet, and to have my hurts looked after, and to stay at home. Early next morning we went out together, and at the corner of Giltspur-street by Smithfield, I left Herbert to go his way into the City, and took my way to Little Britain.
There were periodical occasions when Mr Jaggers and Wemmick went over the office accounts, and checked off the vouchers, and put all things straight. On these occasions Wemmick took his books and papers into Mr Jaggers's room, and one of the up-stairs clerks came down into the outer office. Finding such clerk on Wemmick's post that morning, I knew what was going on; but, I was not sorry to have Mr Jaggers and Wemmick together, as Wemmick would then hear for himself that I said nothing to compromise him.
My appearance with my arm bandaged and my coat loose over my shoulders, favoured my object. Although I had sent Mr Jaggers a brief account of the accident as soon as I had arrived in town, yet I had to give him all the details now; and the speciality of the occasion caused our talk to be less dry and hard, and less strictly regulated by the rules of evidence, than it had been before. While I described the disaster, Mr Jaggers stood, according to his wont, before the fire. Wemmick leaned back in his chair, staring at me, with his hands in the pockets of his trousers, and his pen put horizontally into the post. The two brutal casts, always inseparable in my mind from the official proceedings, seemed to be congestively considering whether they didn't smell fire at the present moment.
My narrative finished, and their questions exhausted, I then produced Miss Havisham's authority to receive the nine hundred pounds for Herbert. Mr Jaggers's eyes retired a little deeper into his head when I handed him the tablets, but he presently handed them over to Wemmick, with instructions to draw the cheque for his signature. While that was in course of being done, I looked on at Wemmick as he wrote, and Mr Jaggers, poising and swaying himself on his well-polished boots, looked on at me. `I am sorry, Pip,' said he, as I put the cheque in my pocket, when he had signed it, `that we do nothing for you.'
`Miss Havisham was good enough to ask me,' I returned, `whether she could do nothing for me, and I told her No.'
`Everybody should know his own business,' said Mr Jaggers. And I saw Wemmick's lips form the words `portable property.'
`I should not have told her No, if I had been you,' said Mr Jaggers; `but every man ought to know his own business best.'
`Every man's business,' said Wemmick, rather reproachfully towards me, `is portable property.'
As I thought the time was now come for pursuing the theme I had at heart, I said, turning on Mr Jaggers:
`I did ask something of Miss Havisham, however, sir. I asked her to give me some information relative to her adopted daughter, and she gave me all she possessed.'
`Did she?' said Mr Jaggers, bending forward to look at his boots and then straightening himself. `Hah! I don't think I should have done so, if I had been Miss Havisham. But she ought to know her own business best.'
`I know more of the history of Miss Havisham's adopted child, than Miss Havisham herself does, sir. I know her mother.'
Mr Jaggers looked at me inquiringly, and repeated `Mother?'
`I have seen her mother within these three days.'
`Yes?' said Mr Jaggers.
`And so have you, sir. And you have seen her still more recently.'
`Yes?' said Mr Jaggers.
`Perhaps I know more of Estella's history than even you do,' said I. `I know her father too.'
A certain stop that Mr Jaggers came to in his manner - he was too self-possessed to change his manner, but he could not help its being brought to an indefinably attentive stop - assured me that he did not know who her father was. This I had strongly suspected from Provis's account (as Herbert had repeated it) of his having kept himself dark; which I pieced on to the fact that he himself was not Mr Jaggers's client until some four years later, and when he could have no reason for claiming his identity. But, I could not be sure of this unconsciousness on Mr Jaggers's part before, though I was quite sure of it now.
`So! You know the young lady's father, Pip?' said Mr Jaggers.
`Yes,' I replied, `and his name is Provis - from New South Wales.'
Even Mr Jaggers started when I said those words. It was the slightest start that could escape a man, the most carefully repressed and the soonest checked, but he did start, though he made it a part of the action of taking out his pocket-handkerchief. How Wemmick received the announcement I am unable to say, for I was afraid to look at him just then, lest Mr Jaggers's sharpness should detect that there had been some communication unknown to him between us.
`And on what evidence, Pip,' asked Mr. Jaggers, very coolly, as he paused with his handkerchief half way to his nose, `does Provis make this claim?'
`He does not make it,' said I, `and has never made it, and has no knowledge or belief that his daughter is in existence.'
For once, the powerful pocket-handkerchief failed. My reply was so unexpected that Mr Jaggers put the handkerchief back into his pocket without completing the usual performance, folded his arms, and looked with stern attention at me, though with an immovable face.
Then I told him all I knew, and how I knew it; with the one reservation that I left him to infer that I knew from Miss Havisham what I in fact knew from Wemmick. I was very careful indeed as to that. Nor, did I look towards Wemmick until I had finished all I had to tell, and had been for some time silently meeting Mr Jaggers's look. When I did at last turn my eyes in Wemmick's direction, I found that he had unposted his pen, and was intent upon the table before him.
`Hah!' said Mr Jaggers at last, as he moved towards the papers on the table, ` - What item was it you were at, Wemmick, when Mr. Pip came in?'
But I could not submit to be thrown off in that way, and I made a passionate, almost an indignant, appeal to him to be more frank and manly with me. I reminded him of the false hopes into which I had lapsed, the length of time they had lasted, and the discovery I had made: and I hinted at the danger that weighed upon my spirits. I represented myself as being surely worthy of some little confidence from him, in return for the confidence I had just now imparted. I said that I did not blame him, or suspect him, or mistrust him, but I wanted assurance of the truth from him. And if he asked me why I wanted it and why I thought I had any right to it, I would tell him, little as he cared for such poor dreams, that I had loved Estella dearly and long, and that, although I had lost her and must live a bereaved life, whatever concerned her was still nearer and dearer to me than anything else in the world. And seeing that Mr Jaggers stood quite still and silent, and apparently quite obdurate, under this appeal, I turned to Wemmick, and said, `Wemmick, I know you to be a man with a gentle heart. I have seen your pleasant home, and your old father, and all the innocent cheerful playful ways with which you refresh your business life. And I entreat you to say a word for me to Mr Jaggers, and to represent to him that, all circumstances considered, he ought to be more open with me!'
I have never seen two men look more oddly at one another than Mr Jaggers and Wemmick did after this apostrophe. At first, a misgiving crossed me that Wemmick would be instantly dismissed from his employment; but, it melted as I saw Mr Jaggers relax into something like a smile, and Wemmick become bolder.
`What's all this?' said Mr Jaggers. `You with an old father, and you with pleasant and playful ways?'
`Well!' returned Wemmick. `If I don't bring 'em here, what does it matter?'
`Pip,' said Mr Jaggers, laying his hand upon my arm, and smiling openly, `this man must be the most cunning impostor in all London.'
`Not a bit of it,' returned Wemmick, growing bolder and bolder. `I think you're another.'
Again they exchanged their former odd looks, each apparently still distrustful that the other was taking him in.
`You with a pleasant home?' said Mr Jaggers.
`Since it don't interfere with business,' returned Wemmick, `let it be so. Now, I look at you, sir, I shouldn't wonder if you might be planning and contriving to have a pleasant home of your own, one of these days, when you're tired of all this work.'
Mr Jaggers nodded his head retrospectively two or three times, and actually drew a sigh. `Pip,' said he, `we won't talk about "poor dreams;" you know more about such things than I, having much fresher experience of that kind. But now, about this other matter. I'll put a case to you. Mind! I admit nothing.'
He waited for me to declare that I quite understood that he expressly said that he admitted nothing.
`Now, Pip,' said Mr Jaggers, `put this case. Put the case that a woman, under such circumstances as you have mentioned, held her child concealed, and was obliged to communicate the fact to her legal adviser, on his representing to her that he must know, with an eye to the latitude of his defence, how the fact stood about that child. Put the case that at the same time he held a trust to find a child for an eccentric rich lady to adopt and bring up.'
`I follow you, sir.'
`Put the case that he lived in an atmosphere of evil, and that all he saw of children, was, their being generated in great numbers for certain destruction. Put the case that he often saw children solemnly tried at a criminal bar, where they were held up to be seen; put the case that he habitually knew of their being imprisoned, whipped, transported, neglected, cast out, qualified in all ways for the hangman, and growing up to be hanged. Put the case that pretty nigh all the children he saw in his daily business life, he had reason to look upon as so much spawn, to develop into the fish that were to come to his net - to be prosecuted, defended, forsworn, made orphans, bedevilled somehow.'
`I follow you, sir.'
`Put the case, Pip, that here was one pretty little child out of the heap, who could be saved; whom the father believed dead, and dared make no stir about; as to whom, over the mother, the legal adviser had this power: "I know what you did, and how you did it. You came so and so, this was your manner of attack and this the manner of resistance, you went so and so, you did such and such things to divert suspicion. I have tracked you through it all, and I tell it you all. Part with the child, unless it should be necessary to produce it to clear you, and then it shall be produced. Give the child into my hands, and I will do my best to bring you off. If you are saved, your child is saved too; if you are lost, your child is still saved." Put the case that this was done, and that the woman was cleared.'
`I understand you perfectly.'
`But that I make no admissions?'
`That you make no admissions.' And Wemmick repeated, `No admissions.'
`Put the case, Pip, that passion and the terror of death had a little shaken the woman's intellects, and that when she was set at liberty, she was scared out of the ways of the world and went to him to be sheltered. Put the case that he took her in, and that he kept down the old wild violent nature whenever he saw an inkling of its breaking out, by asserting his power over her in the old way. Do you comprehend the imaginary case?'
`Quite.'
`Put the case that the child grew up, and was married for money. That the mother was still living. That the father was still living. That the mother and father unknown to one another, were dwelling within so many miles, furlongs, yards if you like, of one another. That the secret was still a secret, except that you had got wind of it. Put that last case to yourself very carefully.'
`I do.'
`I ask Wemmick to put it to himself very carefully.'
And Wemmick said, `I do.'
`For whose sake would you reveal the secret? For the father's? I think he would not be much the better for the mother. For the mother's? I think if she had done such a deed she would be safer where she was. For the daughter's? I think it would hardly serve her, to establish her parentage for the information of her husband, and to drag her back to disgrace, after an escape of twenty years, pretty secure to last for life. But, add the case that you had loved her, Pip, and had made her the subject of those "poor dreams" which have, at one time or another, been in the heads of more men than you think likely, then I tell you that you had better - and would much sooner when you had thought well of it - chop off that bandaged left hand of yours with your bandaged right hand, and then pass the chopper on to Wemmick there, to cut that off, too.'
I looked at Wemmick, whose face was very grave. He gravely touched his lips with his forefinger. I did the same. Mr Jaggers did the same. `Now, Wemmick,' said the latter then, resuming his usual manner, `what item was it you were at, when Mr Pip came in?'
Standing by for a little, while they were at work, I observed that the odd looks they had cast at one another were repeated several times: with this difference now, that each of them seemed suspicious, not to say conscious, of having shown himself in a weak and unprofessional light to the other. For this reason, I suppose, they were now inflexible with one another; Mr Jaggers being highly dictatorial, and Wemmick obstinately justifying himself whenever there was the smallest point in abeyance for a moment. I had never seen them on such ill terms; for generally they got on very well indeed together.
But, they were both happily relieved by the opportune appearance of Mike, the client with the fur cap and the habit of wiping his nose on his sleeve, whom I had seen on the very first day of my appearance within those walls. This individual, who, either in his own person or in that of some member of his family, seemed to be always in trouble (which in that place meant Newgate), called to announce that his eldest daughter was taken up on suspicion of shop-lifting. As he imparted this melancholy circumstance to Wemmick, Mr Jaggers standing magisterially before the fire and taking no share in the proceedings, Mike's eye happened to twinkle with a tear.
`What are you about?' demanded Wemmick, with the utmost indignation. `What do you come snivelling here for?'
`I didn't go to do it, Mr Wemmick.'
`You did,' said Wemmick. `How dare you? You're not in a fit state to come here, if you can't come here without spluttering like a bad pen. What do you mean by it?'
`A man can't help his feelings, Mr Wemmick,' pleaded Mike.
`His what?' demanded Wemmick, quite savagely. `Say that again!'
`Now, look here my man,' said Mr Jaggers, advancing a step, and pointing to the door. `Get out of this office. I'll have no feelings here. Get out.'
`It serves you right,' said Wemmick, `Get out.'
So the unfortunate Mike very humbly withdrew, and Mr Jaggers and Wemmick appeared to have re-established their good understanding, and went to work again with an air of refreshment upon them as if they had just had lunch.
 
我如此满怀热情地追查并证明埃斯苔娜父亲的身份，究竟是抱着什么目的，我自己也说不清。但不久你们就会明白，等到有一个比我更为智慧的人指明问题之后，这个问题在我心里才有了一个清楚的轮廓。
但是，赫伯特和我作了这次具有重要意义的谈话之后，我就怀着满腔的热情与信心，一定要把事情搞个水落石出，而且要趁热打铁，刨根问底。我得去看一下贾格斯先生，从他那里得到事实的真情。我这样做究竟是为了埃斯苔娜的缘故，还是为了那个我极其关心并要进行保护的人，想让他也了解这么长时间以来和她有关的罗曼蒂克的迷团，我也不知道。也许第二种可能更接近于事实吧。
当时我难以抑制住自己的心情，当夜就想要到吉拉德街去。赫伯特劝我说，要是我这般着急地去，我就可能病上加病，身心交瘁，何况那个逃犯的安全都要依靠我，我只有耐心行事，不能急躁。我明白其道理之后，他又反复地对我说，不管怎样，明天我再去贾格斯先生那里也不晚。我这才收心，保持心中的平静，一方面由他为我疗伤，另一方面安心地待在家中。第二天一早我们一起出发，在吉尔茨普街和史密斯菲广场的拐角处分了手，他向城里走去，我则转向小不列颠街。
贾格斯先生和温米克先生每隔一个阶段就要对律师事务所里的账目进行一次清理，核对各种单据，把账目整理清楚。每逢结账时期，温米克便带着账簿和票据到贾格斯先生的办公室里去，同时楼上的办事员中就有一个下来，坐在外间办公室里办公。这天早晨我看到楼上的一位办事员坐在温米克的座位上，便知道他们在结账。贾格斯先生和温米克在一起，我并不感到有什么不方便，这也可以让温米克听一听我和贾格斯先生的谈话，而且我的话一句都不会连累到他。
我的胳膊上吊了绷带，大衣松松地披在肩头，就是这样，我出现在他们的面前。虽然昨天我一抵达伦敦，便寄给贾格斯先生一封短信，告诉了他发生的这次事故，但现在我得向他详详细细叙述始末。这样的描述倒使我们的谈话既不干巴巴，又不那么生硬，更不像以前那样每句话都要有凭证。在我叙述这次事故时，贾格斯先生还是老习惯，站在壁炉之前听我讲。温米克则背靠在椅子上，瞪着我，双手插在他的裤袋中，一支笔横插在他那张邮筒式的嘴巴之中。那两个蛮横的头像在我心里老是想插手事务所的事，现在也似乎满脸火气一般，在考虑着现在他们是否闻到了火的味道呢。
我的叙述完了，他们的问题也提完了，我这才把郝维仙小姐那个凭证交给他们，领取给赫伯特的九百英镑。在我把象牙簿递给贾格斯先生时，他的双眼又向深眼窝中缩进去了一些，但他立刻就把簿子递给了温米克，让温米克开支票让他签字。温米克在开支票时，我看着他写，而贾格斯先生也看着我。他脚登擦得很亮的皮靴子，抖动着双腿，同时保持着自己的平衡。“皮普，真遗憾，”他在支票上签好字后递给我，我把支票放进我的口袋，这时他说道，“我们没有为你做些什么。”
我答道：“郝维仙小姐也善意地问过我，她是不是也帮我点什么，我感谢她的好意，说不用了。”
“每个人应当了解自己的事情。”贾格斯先生说道，同时我看到温米克的嘴唇形成了“动产”的字样。
“假如我是你，我就不会对她说‘不’这个字，”贾格斯先生说道，“不过，每个人都最了解自己的事。”
温米克带了责备的口气对我说道：“每个人最休戚相关的事就是‘动产’。
我想现在是该提出问题的时候了，这个问题一直深藏在我的内心，于是我对着贾格斯先生说道：
“先生，我确实也向郝维仙小姐提出过一个问题，请她告诉我关于她领养的女儿的一些情况，她把她所知道的全部告诉了我。”
“她真的告诉了你？”贾格斯先生把上身弯下来看着他的皮鞋，然后又直起身体，说道，“哈！假如我是郝维仙小姐，我想是没有必要全部告诉你的。不过，每个人的事自己最了解。”
“先生，对于郝维仙小姐领养女儿的情况，我比郝维仙小姐本人了解得更清楚。连她的母亲是谁我都知道。”
贾格斯先生探询性地望着我，又重复了我的话：“连她的母亲是谁都知道？”
“就在三天前我还见到过她的母亲。”
“是吗？”贾格斯先生说道。
“先生，其实你也见到的，就在最近你还见到她的。”
“是吗？”贾格斯先生又反问道。
“也许我对埃斯苔娜身世的了解比你知道得还要多呢，”我说道，“我还认识她的父亲。”
贾格斯先生听了我的话，神色之间略略表现出吃惊的样子，但是他很稳重，一点也不慌张；不过无论如何他还是表现出了一点凝神注意的样子，就从这些我可以断定他并不知道谁是她的父亲。昨天晚上赫伯特叙述了普鲁威斯的话，说他避开任何人时，我就怀疑到这一点。因为当初普鲁威斯还不是贾格斯先生的客户，四年左右之后他才来找贾格斯先生为他办事，而且他也不需要向他供出自己的身份。这之前我还没有把握说贾格斯先生不了解其中情由，而现在我已经十分有把握了。
“皮普，那么你认识这位年轻女士的父亲喽，是吗？”贾格斯先生说道。
“是的，”我答道，“他的名字就是普鲁威斯，是新南威尔士的普鲁威斯。”
我说到这些话时，只见贾格斯先生也惊了一下。这只是轻微的一惊，并不容易被觉察出来；他极力地掩饰自己的吃惊，而且马上就消失了痕迹。但是，不管他怎么样掩饰自己，甚至掏出手帕来掩饰自己，他确实是吃了一惊。至于温米克在听了我的话后是什么反应，我无法说出，因为我尽量不去注视他，以免让贾格斯先生用他那犀利的眼光从中看出破绽，发现我们之间有什么尚未公开的来往。
贾格斯先生想用他的手帕捂住鼻子，手在半路上时却停住了，非常冷静地问道：“皮普，普鲁威斯有什么证据来证明这个事实呢？”
“他没有提到这个问题，”我说道，“他根本没有提到过这个问题，他一点不知道自己的女儿还活在人间，也不敢相信她活着。”
这一次，他那块有重大作用的手帕不起作用了。我的回答太突如其来了，贾格斯先生的手帕没有完成通常的表演效果。他把手帕放回到口袋，两条臂膀交叉在一起，非常严肃地注视着我，脸上却一点也不动声色。
接着我就把我知道的一切都告诉他，还告诉了他我是怎样获知的。当然我也很注意，虽然有些事我是从温米克处听来的，我都说是郝维仙小姐告诉我的。所有这些我都是非常小心谨慎的。一直等我说完了我该说的话，并且和贾格斯先生的目光默默相对了一会儿后，我才把眼光转向温米克的方向，这之前我没有看他一眼。此时我发现温米克已经拿开他邮筒式的嘴里的那支笔，正凝神地望着他前面的桌子。
“嗨！”贾格斯先生终于说道，他移步到放着票据的桌子旁边，“温米克，皮普先生来的时候，你核对到哪一笔账目啦？”
但是我不甘心就这样被他们置之不理，这时我的心情激动起来，甚至有些愤慨，我要贾格斯先生心怀坦白些，对我要豪爽些。我提醒他要注意我曾经徒然地怀抱着多少希望，它们在我的内心深藏了多么久，而现在终于发现并不是这么回事。我向他暗示自己随时会有危险，这使我灵魂焦虑不安。我向他表明，我对他无比信赖，没有任何东西向他隐瞒，希望他应像我信任他那样地信任我。我说，我没有责备过他，我没有怀疑过他，我没有不信任过他，但是我要从他那里得到事物的真相。如果他问我，我为什么要得到事物的真相，为什么我有权利来获得事物的真相，我会对他说，虽然他并不关心我所做的这可怜的梦，但我那么真诚地爱着埃斯苔娜，爱得那么长久，却失去了她，只留下一人孤独地了此余生，所以，即使现在，凡关于她的事情对我来说，都比这世界上的其他事情更贴近，更亲切。我发现贾格斯先生仍然若无其事地站在那里，一点声色不动，看来他是顽固不化，对我的请求无动于衷，于是便转身对着温米克说道：“温米克，我知道你是一位大丈夫，心胸开阔、温和。我有幸去过你快乐的府第，拜访过你的老父亲，知道你用那些天真无邪令人愉快的生活方式消度你从工作中带来的疲劳。我请求你帮我忙，向贾格斯先生讲真情，务必请他无论在什么情况下对我都该以实言相告。
我从来没有见到过有两个人的四目相对比贾格斯先生和温米克在听了我的强调之后相互对视得那么蹊跷。起先我真担心，看来温米克马上就会从他的事务所中被解雇，但过了一会儿，我看到贾格斯先生开始软化，甚至露出了微笑，温米克也显得胆子大了些，我的担心才消去。
贾格斯先生对温米克说道：“什么一位老父亲，什么天真无邪令人愉快的生活方式，这些都是怎么一回事？”
“这个嘛！”温米克答道，“我不把这些带到这里来，那又有什么关系呢？”
“皮普，”贾格斯先生把他的手放在我的手臂上，嘴也露出笑容，“这个人该是整个伦敦城里最狡猾的骗子了。”
“那可一点儿也不是，”温米克的胆子越来越大，答道，“我看你倒是个骗子呢。”
他们两人又一次交换着和刚才一样古怪的眼神，各自对对方都怀着戒心，唯恐自己上当。
“你有一个愉快的家庭？”贾格斯先生对他说道。
“愉快的家庭和事务所办公没有关系，”温米克答道，“那就不必问它。在我看来，先生，要是你在计划或筹备一个愉快的家，我也不会感到奇怪，一个人在干活干得厌倦后，安排一个自己的家没有什么奇怪的。”
贾格斯先生点了两三次头，似乎带有回忆往事般的神情，又叹了一口气。他说道：“皮普，我们没有必要谈什么‘可怜的梦’；对这些事情你知道得比我要多，你有更多的新鲜的亲身体验。不过现在，关于另一件事，我可以提供一个情况。请注意！我没有承认这是事实。”
说完后他便等着我表明心意，说我完全了解他的意思，他没有承认是事实。
然后贾格斯先生说道：“皮普，比如有这么一种情况，有一个女人，其情况和你刚才所说的差不多，她把自己的孩子藏了起来，可是又不得不把事实告诉她的法律顾问，因为法律顾问代表她的利益，必须了解孩子的真情，才能展开他的辩护，预计辩护的成功性。在这个情况发生的同时，有一位性格古怪却很有钱的妇女又委托这位法律顾问找一个孩子，她想领养这孩子并培养成人。”
“我明白你的意思，先生。”
“假使情况是这样，这个法律顾问生活于一处罪恶的环境之中，他看到孩子们成批成批地出生，又成批成批地走向毁灭。这位法律顾问时常看到孩子们在刑事法庭上受到严厉的审问；他非常了解这些孩子会被关进监狱，被鞭打，被送去流放，再没有人过问，遭到抛弃，总之，会通过各种各样的途径被送到绞刑官手中，等他们长成人后便上绞刑架。这些都司空见惯的。再说这个情况吧，他把他每天在律师事务中所见到的所有的孩子看成是鱼卵，他这样看待他们是有理由的：鱼卵都会长成鱼，都会被捕进鱼网，也就是说这些孩子会受到起诉，会找律师辩护，会被父母舍弃，会变成孤儿，总之，会堕入魔窟。”
“我明白你的意思，先生。”
“皮普，比如有一种情况，在一堆可以挽救的孩子当中有一个可爱的小女孩，父亲以为这孩子已经死了，不敢大闹大嚷；至于母亲呢，这个法律顾问却有权力控制住她。他对她说：‘我知道你干过什么，我知道你是怎么干的，你到过诸如此类的地方，你为了逃避嫌疑做了如此这般的安排。我对你的一切调查得了如指掌，每一件事都能说得一清二楚。你得和这个孩子分开，但如果为了洗刷罪名非得孩子作证，那当是另当别论的。你把孩子给我，我尽最大的努力使你脱险。如果你得救，你的孩子自然平安无事；万一你出事了，而你的孩子也仍然能平安无事。’情况就是这样，那个女人也就照此做了，并且这个女人也被无罪释放。”
“我完全懂得你所说的意思。”
“但是我并没有肯定什么。”
“你没有肯定什么。”
温米克也重复了这个意思：“没有肯定。”
“再说这情况，皮普，情感上的痛苦和死亡的恐怖使这个妇女的精神受到打击而有失常态。在她恢复自由之后，她竟然时时如惊弓之鸟，和世俗常情不合，于是便求助于她的法律顾问给她一个安身之处。假如情况是这个法律顾问答应了她，收容了她。每逢他看到她一有可能发作旧病的形迹，他便使用老办法控制住她，压下她那狂暴的性格，你能不能了解这一假设推理呢？”
“我完全能了解。”
“再说这情况的可能性，这个孩子长大了，为了金钱而出嫁。她的母亲仍旧活在人间，她的父亲也还活在人间。她的父母两人互不来往，互无音信，虽然住在几英里之内，或者几百码之隔，或者咫尺之远，随你怎么说都可以，秘密终究是秘密，你所获得的只是一丝风声。我说的这最后一点情况你可得三思。”
“多谢关照。”
“我同时也请温米克三思。”
温米克答道：“多谢关照。”
“如果把这个秘密泄露出去，究竟对谁有益呢？难道是为了那个当父亲的？我看他知道了孩子母亲的下落不见得比现在的情况更好。难道是为那位当母亲的？我看她既然干出了那种事，她还是住在原处不动更安全。难道是为了那位当女儿的？我看这对她更糟，她的丈夫知道了她双亲的情况，倒叫她丢脸现丑，虽然逃避了二十年，还是保不了一生的平安无事。再说说情况的可能性吧，皮普。你曾经爱过她，你使她成为你‘可怜的梦’中的主角，其实前前后后她不知道成为多少人心里的偶像，多得连你也想不到。所以我要奉劝你，你最好（其实你一想通你自己也立即会愿意）用你那条扎了绷带的右手砍掉你扎着绷带的左手，然后再把斧头交给温米克，让他把你的右手再砍下来。”
我望着温米克，他的面容显得很严肃。他伸出食指严肃地碰了一下嘴唇，我也用食指碰了一下嘴唇。贾格斯先生也同样用食指碰了一下嘴唇，然后就恢复了常态，说道：“温米克，皮普先生进来的时候，你核对到哪一笔账目了？”
他们两人在核对账目时，我站在一旁观看。我看到他们用前面那种古怪目光，又相互对峙了好几次；如果有点和刚才不同，那就是他们各自似乎都在猜疑（就不说觉察到吧），他们自己向对方暴露出了某些弱点。我想，正因此，他们才各执己见，互不相让。贾格斯先生表现出高傲和专横，温米克显得顽强、固执，遇到再小的事情也会停下来争吵片刻。过去他们总是相处甚佳，今天却反目无常，斤斤计较，这种现象我从未见到过。
不过，他们两人的僵持局面由于迈克的出现解了围。迈克这个人就是我第一次来到这里时所遇到的那个客户，头上戴了顶皮帽子，有个用袖子擦鼻子的老习惯。迈克这个人本人或者他家庭中的成员总是出麻烦事，所谓麻烦事，就是指进了新门监狱。他这次来是诉说他的长女因为在店中行窃的嫌疑进了新门监狱。他忧忧怨怨一五一十地告诉了温米克，而贾格斯先生站在壁炉前，威严无比，对他的诉说毫不注意。迈克说话的同时，眼中显露出一颗晶莹的泪珠。
“你究竟来干什么？”温米克用非常愤怒的口吻对他说道，“你淌着眼泪来到这里究竟干什么？”
“温米克先生，我这是没法儿。”
“你是装出来的，”温米克说道，“你怎么敢装蒜？你要是总像一支坏钢笔那样不断溅出眼泪，你就不必到这里来。你哭哭啼啼究竟是干什么？”
“人总是不得不流露出感情的，温米克先生。”迈克申辩似的恳求道。
“你说什么？”温米克这时也凶神恶煞似的问道，“你再说一遍！”
“喂，你听着，”这时贾格斯先生向前走了一步，指着门说道，“你就从这个事务所滚出去。我们这里是不讲感情的，滚出去！”
“自找苦吃，”温米克说道，“快滚。”
于是这个不幸的迈克只有低三下四地退了出去。这时贾格斯先生和温米克好像重建了友好，相互谅解了。他们重振精神，继续核对账目，仿佛刚刚吃了一顿称心如意的午餐。
Chapter 52
FROM Little Britain, I went, with my cheque in my pocket, to Miss Skiffins's brother, the accountant; and Miss Skiffins's brother, the accountant, going straight to Clarriker's and bringing Clarriker to me, I had the great satisfaction of concluding that arrangement. It was the only good thing I had done, and the only completed thing I had done, since I was first apprised of my great expectations. 
Clarriker informing me on that occasion that the affairs of the House were steadily progressing, that he would now be able to establish a small branch-house in the East which was much wanted for the extension of the business, and that Herbert in his new partnership capacity would go out and take charge of it, I found that I must have prepared for a separation from my friend, even though my own affairs had been more settled. And now indeed I felt as if my last anchor were loosening its hold, and I should soon be driving with the winds and waves.
But, there was recompense in the joy with which Herbert would come home of a night and tell me of these changes, little imagining that he told me no news, and would sketch airy pictures of himself conducting Clara Barley to the land of the Arabian Nights, and of me going out to join them (with a caravan of camels, I believe), and of our all going up the Nile and seeing wonders. Without being sanguine as to my own part in these bright plans, I felt that Herbert's way was clearing fast, and that old Bill Barley had but to stick to his pepper and rum, and his daughter would soon be happily provided for.
We had now got into the month of March. My left arm, though it presented no bad symptoms, took in the natural course so long to heal that I was still unable to get a coat on. My right arm was tolerably restored; - disfigured, but fairly serviceable.
On a Monday morning, when Herbert and I were at breakfast, I received the following letter from Wemmick by the post.
`Walworth. Burn this as soon as read. Early in the week, or say Wednesday, you might do what you know of, if you felt disposed to try it. Now burn.'
When I had shown this to Herbert and had put it in the fire - but not before we had both got it by heart - we considered what to do. For, of course my being disabled could now be no longer kept out of view.
`I have thought it over, again and again,' said Herbert, `and I think I know a better course than taking a Thames waterman. Take Startop. A good fellow, a skilled hand, fond of us, and enthusiastic and honourable.'
I had thought of him, more than once.
`But how much would you tell him, Herbert?'
`It is necessary to tell him very little. Let him suppose it a mere freak, but a secret one, until the morning comes: then let him know that there is urgent reason for your getting Provis abroad and away. You go with him?'
`No doubt.'
`Where?'
It had seemed to me, in the many anxious considerations I had given the point, almost indifferent what port we made for - Hamburg, Rotterdam, Antwerp - the place signified little, so that he was got out of England. Any foreign steamer that fell in our way and would take us up, would do. I had always proposed to myself to get him well down the river in the boat; certainly well beyond Gravesend, which was a critical place for search or inquiry if suspicion were afoot. As foreign steamers would leave London at about the time of high-water, our plan would be to get down the river by a previous ebb-tide, and lie by in some quiet spot until we could pull off to one. The time when one would be due where we lay, wherever that might be, could be calculated pretty nearly, if we made inquiries beforehand.
Herbert assented to all this, and we went out immediately after breakfast to pursue our investigations. We found that a steamer for Hamburg was likely to suit our purpose best, and we directed our thoughts chiefly to that vessel. But we noted down what other foreign steamers would leave London with the same tide, and we satisfied ourselves that we knew the build and colour of each. We then separated for a few hours; I, to get at once such passports as were necessary; Herbert, to see Startop at his lodgings. We both did what we had to do without any hindrance, and when we met again at one o'clock reported done. I, for my part, was prepared with passports; Herbert had seen Startop, and he was more than ready to join.
Those two should pull a pair of oars, we settled, and I would steer; our charge would be sitter, and keep quiet; as speed was not our object, we should make way enough. We arranged that Herbert should not come home to dinner before going to Mill Pond Bank that evening; that he should not go there at all, to-morrow evening, Tuesday; that he should prepare Provis to come down to some Stairs hard by the house, on Wednesday, when he saw us approach, and not sooner; that all the arrangements with him should be concluded that Monday night; and that he should be communicated with no more in any way, until we took him on board.
These precautions well understood by both of us, I went home.
On opening the outer door of our chambers with my key, I found a letter in the box, directed to me; a very dirty letter, though not ill-written. It had been delivered by hand (of course since I left home), and its contents were these:
`If you are not afraid to come to the old marshes to-night or tomorrow night at Nine, and to come to the little sluice-house by the limekiln, you had better come. If you want information regarding your uncle Provis, you had much better come and tell no one and lose no time. You must come alone. Bring this with you.'
I had had load enough upon my mind before the receipt of this strange letter. What to do now, I could not tell. And the worst was, that I must decide quickly, or I should miss the afternoon coach, which would take me down in time for to-night. To-morrow night I could not think of going, for it would be too close upon the time of the flight. And again, for anything I knew, the proffered information might have some important bearing on the flight itself.
If I had had ample time for consideration, I believe I should still have gone. Having hardly any time for consideration - my watch showing me that the coach started within half and hour - I resolved to go. I should certainly not have gone, but for the reference to my Uncle Provis; that, coming on Wemmick's letter and the morning's busy preparation, turned the scale.
It is so difficult to become clearly possessed of contents of almost any letter, in a violent hurry, that I had to read this mysterious epistle again, twice, before its injunction to me to be secret got mechanically into my mind. Yielding to it in the same mechanical kind of way, I left a note in pencil for Herbert, telling him that as I should be so soon going away, I knew not for how long, I had decided to hurry down and back, to ascertain for myself how Miss Havisham was faring. I had then barely time to get my great-coat, lock up the chambers, and make for the coach-office by the short by-ways. If I had taken a hackney-chariot and gone by the streets, I should have missed my aim; going as I did, I caught the coach just as it came out of the yard. I was the only inside passenger, jolting away knee-deep in straw, when I came to myself.
For, I really had not been myself since the receipt of the letter; it had so bewildered me ensuing on the hurry of the morning. The morning hurry and flutter had been great, for, long and anxiously as I had waited for Wemmick, his hint had come like a surprise at last. And now, I began to wonder at myself for being in the coach, and to doubt whether I had sufficient reason for being there, and to consider whether I should get out presently and go back, and to argue against ever heeding an anonymous communication, and, in short, to pass through all those phases of contradiction and indecision to which I suppose very few hurried people are strangers. Still, the reference to Provis by name, mastered everything. I reasoned as I had reasoned already without knowing it - if that be reasoning - in case any harm should befall him through my not going, how could I ever forgive myself!
It was dark before we got down, and the journey seemed long and dreary to me who could see little of it inside, and who could not go outside in my disabled state. Avoiding the Blue Boar, I put up at an inn of minor reputation down the town, and ordered some dinner. While it was preparing, I went to Satis House and inquired for Miss Havisham; she was still very ill, though considered something better.
My inn had once been a part of an ancient ecclesiastical house, and I dined in a little octagonal common-room, like a font. As I was not able to cut my dinner, the old landlord with a shining bald head did it for me. This bringing us into conversation, he was so good as to entertain me with my own story - of course with the popular feature that Pumblechook was my earliest benefactor and the founder of my fortunes.
`Do you know the young man?' said I.
`Know him!' repeated the landlord. `Ever since he was - no height at all.'
`Does he ever come back to this neighbourhood?'
`Ay, he comes back,' said the landlord, `to his great friends, now and again, and gives the cold shoulder to the man that made him.'
`What man is that?'
`Him that I speak of,' said the landlord. `Mr Pumblechook.'
`Is he ungrateful to no one else?'
`No doubt he would be, if he could,' returned the landlord, `but he can't. And why? Because Pumblechook done everything for him.'
`Does Pumblechook say so?'
`Say so!' replied the landlord. `He han't no call to say so.'
`But does he say so?'
`It would turn a man's blood to white wine winegar to hear him tell of it, sir,' said the landlord.
I thought, `Yet Joe, dear Joe, you never tell of it. Long-suffering and loving Joe, you never complain. Nor you, sweet-tempered Biddy!'
`Your appetite's been touched like, by your accident,' said the landlord, glancing at the bandaged arm under my coat. `Try a tenderer bit.'
`No thank you,' I replied, turning from the table to brood over the fire. `I can eat no more. Please take it away.'
I had never been struck at so kneely, for my thanklessness to Joe, as through the brazen impostor Pumblechook. The falser he, the truer Joe; the meaner he, the nobler Joe.
My heart was deeply and most deservedly humbled as I mused over the fire for an hour or more. The striking of the clock aroused me, but not from my dejection or remorse, and I got up and had my coat fastened round my neck, and went out. I had previously sought in my pockets for the letter, that I might refer to it again, but I could not find it, and was uneasy to think that it must have been dropped in the straw of the coach. I knew very well, however, that the appointed place was the little sluice-house by the limekiln on the marshes, and the hour nine. Towards the marshes I now went straight, having no time to spare.
 
我口袋中装着那张支票离开了小不列颠街，直接去司琪芬小姐的那位会计哥哥那里，司琪芬小姐的那位会计哥哥又去克拉利柯公司，把克拉利柯请到我这里来，我十分满意地把这件事办妥了。自从我第一次得到通知说我有一笔遗产以来，我所做的唯一的好事，并且彻底完成了的唯一的事就是这一件。
克拉利柯就在这时告诉我，公司的事务正在持续发展，他正准备建立一处东方的小办事机构，这对于扩大公司的业务范围来说是十分必要的；他说如今赫伯特已是新合伙人，所以可被派到那里主持分支机构的业务。我这才意识到我无论如何也得和我的朋友赫伯特分手了，尽管我自己还有许多未了之事。现在我才确实感到仿佛我最后的锚也已开始松动，不久海上的风浪就会把我冲走。
不过，我刚才所做的事会带来一种回报性的愉快，今晚赫伯特回来一定会告诉我事情的发展，他不会想到这些对我来说全然已不是新闻了。他还会描述他的幻想，说他将带着克拉娜•巴莱到那《天方夜谭》中的国度去，以后我也会参加他们的行列；我认为他还会说我会带上一队骆驼，大家沿着尼罗河，观光各式各样的奇闻古迹。从我这方面来看，在他的那些光辉的前景之中，我难有成功的希望，但我感到赫伯特却有飞黄腾达的可能。至于那位比尔•巴莱老头，只要他坚持喝胡椒加朗姆酒，他女儿很快便将走运而富裕。
时日不待，又进入三月。我的左臂虽然没有出现恶化的现象，但也只能任其自然，听其发展，至今我还不能穿上外套。我右臂的恢复已有些起色，虽然留下些伤疤，但使唤起来倒也方便自如。
一个星期一的早晨，赫伯特和我正在进早餐，我接到一封温米克从邮局寄来的信，信中写着：
“伍尔华斯。此信读后焚毁。本星期上半月，如星期三，如感到可试一下你的计划，便可以进行。立即销毁。”
我把信给赫伯特看，然后便把它丢进火炉。我们一记熟信中的内容便开始考虑该怎么办。当然，我被烧伤的两臂无法划船，这是眼前的重要问题。
“我想了一次又一次，”赫伯特说道，“有了个好主意。我们用不着请一个泰晤士河上的船夫，不妨叫斯塔特普来帮忙。他不仅是个好人，而且又是个熟练的桨手。他对我们不错，有热情，又诚实。”
其实我也不止一次地想到过他。
“赫伯特，你准备让他知道多少情况呢？”
“必须让他知道得越少越好。他会想到这只不过是一件荒唐怪事，不过要严守秘密。等到那个早晨一到，再告诉他有一件紧急的事，你要把普鲁威斯送上船准备出国。你同他一起去吗？”
“当然一起去。”
“去到哪里？”
这个问题对我说来已经有过许多次焦急的考虑，至于地点，无论去到哪个港口都无关紧要，汉堡也好，鹿特丹也好，安特卫普也好，哪里都可以，只要出了英国就行。至于外国船只，只要我们遇上，肯带我们走就行。我一直在心中盘算，他上了小船，沿河而下，最好要划过格里夫森，因为这是一处多事地点，只要被怀疑，就会遭到搜寻和盘查。我又注意到外国船只总是在水位高的时候离开伦敦，所以我们的计划是在前一天退潮的时候下水出发，然后把船停舶在一处僻静的地方，等待一条驶来的外国船。无论我们停在什么地方，只要事先做好调查，外国轮船出现的时间是可以计算得差不多的。
赫伯特同意所有这些考虑，所以一吃过早饭我们就出发，开始我们的调查。我们发现有一艘驶往汉堡的轮船，这非常适合于我们的目的。我们的指望也就放在这艘船上了。不过，我们也记下了其他即将在同一个潮期离开伦敦的外国船只，还记下了每一条船的结构和颜色。然后，我们便分开几个小时，各办各的事。我立刻去筹备办理必要的出国护照及有关证件；赫伯特则到斯塔特普住的地方去看他。我们两人所办的事都没有遇到阻碍，在下午一点钟时我们又见面了，相互报告自己完成的事。至于我，已把护照等证件办妥，赫伯特已见到了斯塔特普，他是十分愿意参加这次行动的。
我们决定由他们两个人划桨，由我来掌舵，我们的保护人坐在舱内，大家都必须保持安静。至于速度不是主要问题，只要缓缓而行就已足够。我们还商议定，赫伯特晚上先到磨坊河滨去，然后再回来吃晚饭；而明天，星期二，他晚上便不再去那里了；他得让普鲁威斯做好准备，叫他在星期三一看到我们的小船驶近，便去到房屋附近的码头上，但不必去得过早。一切都已安排就绪，星期一晚上联系过后，和他的来往便告暂停，此后不和他做任何方式的接触，专等我们带他上船的日子。
我们两人充分讨论过防卫措施，我才回家。
我用钥匙打开住房外面的一道门时，便发现信箱中有一封信，是直接写给我的。这封信给弄得很脏，虽然文理并非不通顺。这一定是打发人送来的（自然是在我出去时送来的），信的内容如下：
“今夜或明夜九时，如果你不害怕来到往昔的沼泽地，来到石灰窑附近的水闸小屋，你就来一次。如果你想知道关于你伯父普鲁威斯的情况，你就得来，什么人也不要告诉，也不要延误时间。你必须独自来。来时要携带此信。”
我已是心事重重，负担本来够重了，现在又接到这封奇怪的信件。我现在该怎么办，自己一点也不知道。更糟糕的是我必须马上做出决定，否则就要赶不上下午出发的驿车，也就不能当晚赶到目的地。我想明天晚上我是去不成的，因为距出逃的日子太近。再说，就我看来，信里答应提供的一些情况也许和出逃有重大关系。
即使我有充分的时间来考虑，我相信我还是会去的。当时几乎再没有时间容我细想，我表上的指针告诉我驿车半小时后便要出发，我毅然地决定，去。如果不是信中提到我的普鲁威斯伯父的话，我是肯定不会去的。因为温米克的来信，以及一个上午的奔波筹划，再加上一提普鲁威斯伯父，我就非去不可了。
在如此惊慌不定的情况下，要想弄清任何一封信的具体内容是非常困难的，我不得不一次又一次地读这封神秘的信，然后在心中才机械地记住要保守秘密这条指令。于是我又以同样机械的方式遵守这条指令，用铅笔写了个条子给赫伯特，告诉他我不久即将远行，不知道这次出走需要多长时间才能返回，所以我决定去看望郝维仙小姐一次，看看她的烧伤情况，去虽匆忙，但很快即返。所剩时间有限，当时只能披上大衣，锁上房门，穿小路捷径去到驿站。如果当时我乘上出租马车从大路去驿站，我就会赶不上驿车，失去此行的机会。幸亏走了小路，到驿站时，驿车刚从院子中驶出，我得以登上了马车。等我从匆忙中清醒过来，才发现我是车厢中唯一的乘客，车中堆着干草，我坐在车上颠簸前进，干草一直深埋至膝盖。
自从接到了这封信，我实在感到自己有失常态。我整个上午已经忙得蒙头转向，这封信又把我给弄得迷里迷糊。上午本来就到处奔波、焦急不安，因为长久以来在焦躁中等待温米克的信，可他的信来了，却又使我惊慌不定。而此刻，我十分奇怪，自己怎么又坐上了马车，真怀疑自己是不是有道理作此一行。我考虑着现在是不是该立刻下车再走回去，心中思忖着怎么能相信这封匿名信件。简而言之，我心中涌起了各种各样的矛盾思绪，弄得我犹豫不定。我想大部分匆忙办事的人都是如此。而这封提及到普鲁威斯的信又有无比的优势。我前思后想，其实我已经前思后想过了，只是我自己没有感觉到；我前思后想着，万一由于我没有去，而普鲁威斯却因此遇到大难，我怎么能原谅自己呢！
在夜幕降临时刻马车才驶进镇。这次旅行令我感到既漫长又索然无味，坐在车厢中什么也看不见，因为我受伤而行动不便，又不能爬到外面的车顶上去。我不想住进蓝野猪饭店，便去到镇里一家没有什么名气的旅社，订下了晚餐。在他们做饭的时候我乘便去到沙提斯宅邸打探郝维仙小姐的病情。她病情仍旧较重，虽然比原来已有好转。
我住的这家旅社是一所古老教堂的一个部分，我正在用餐的这个八角形餐室就像一个洗礼时用的圣水盘。我的伤手不能用刀切菜，头顶秃得发亮的老店主便过来帮我切。我们借机就攀谈起来，他对我十分友善，用我的故事作为款待我的谈话资料，也就是那个人所皆知的传闻，即说我之所以直上青云，多亏了彭波契克，我最早的恩主和我幸运的奠基人。
“你认识这位年轻人吗？”我问道。
“认识他，”店主说道，“在他还没有桌子高时我就认识他了。”
“他回过他的家乡吗？”
“嗯，”店主答道，“他时常回来看望他的好朋友，而对栽培他的人却很冷淡，不予理睬。”
“那个栽培他的人是谁？”
“那个人我已经说过了，”店主答道，“就是彭波契克先生。”
“那么那个你说的年轻人还对其他什么人忘恩负义吗？”
“那是当然的，只要可能，他就会忘恩负义的，”店主答道，“不过他不可能办到，至于理由嘛，因为彭波契克就是一手栽培他的人。”
“这都是彭波契克说的？”
“他说的！”店主答道，“这还用得着他说？”
“可是究竟他说了吗？”
“先生，要听他来说这件事，一个人的血色都会从红变成白呢！”店主说道。
这时我心中思忖：“可是乔，亲爱的乔是不会这么说的。长期受苦的、可爱的乔，你从来没有发过牢骚。还有你，脾气温和的毕蒂也不会这么说。”
“看来你遇上了事故，连胃口也不好了，”店主望了我大衣下面露出的扎了绷带的手臂一眼，说道，“那么你就吃一些嫩的吧。”
“不用了，谢谢你，”我答道，同时转过身去对着炉火沉思起来，“我不要吃了，请把这些拿走吧。”
这个无耻的骗子彭波契克却使我联想到了乔，我对他却真是忘恩负义，我从来没有像今天这样沉痛地感到我对他是多么忘恩负义。彭波契克虚伪无耻，而乔却诚实可信；彭波契克是卑鄙小人，而乔却是高贵君子。
我面对着火炉沉思了有一个多小时，心情颇为沉重，感到一切都是我自作自受。这时，响起的钟声使我从沉思中惊醒，然而我仍然垂头丧气，悔恨无比。于是我站起身来，把大衣领子围着脖子扎好，便走出旅社。离开之前我搜索了身上的几个口袋，寻找那封信想再琢磨一下，可是哪里也找不到，因此心中很感不安，以为这信一定丢在驿车的稻草之中了。不过，对于这约定的地点我是很熟悉的，就在沼泽地上石灰窑附近的水闸小屋，约定的时间是九时整，现在已没有时间耽搁，我便一直向沼泽地走去。
Chapter 53
IT was a dark night, though the full moon rose as I left the enclosed lands, and passed out upon the marshes. Beyond their dark line there was a ribbon of clear sky, hardly broad enough to hold the red large moon. In a few minutes she had ascended out of that clear field, in among the piled mountains of cloud. 
There was a melancholy wind, and the marshes were very dismal. A stranger would have found them insupportable, and even to me they were so oppressive that I hesitated, half inclined to go back. But, I knew them well, and could have found my way on a far darker night, and had no excuse for returning, being there. So, having come there against my inclination, I went on against it.
The direction that I took, was not that in which my old home lay, nor that in which we had pursued the convicts. My back was turned towards the distant Hulks as I walked on, and, though I could see the old lights away on the spits of sand, I saw them over my shoulder. I knew the limekiln as well as I knew the old Battery, but they were miles apart; so that if a light had been burning at each point that night, there would have been a long strip of the blank horizon between the two bright specks.
At first, I had to shut some gates after me, and now and then to stand still while the cattle that were lying in the banked-up pathway, arose and blundered down among the grass and reeds. But after a little while, I seemed to have the whole flats to myself.
It was another half-hour before I drew near to the kiln. The lime was burning with a sluggish stifling smell, but the fires were made up and left, and no workmen were visible. Hard by, was a small stone-quarry. It lay directly in my way, and had been worked that day, as I saw by the tools and barrows that were lying about.
Coming up again to the marsh level out of this excavation - for the rude path lay through it - I saw a light in the old sluice-house. I quickened my pace, and knocked at the door with my hand. Waiting for some reply, I looked about me, noticing how the sluice was abandoned and broken, and how the house - of wood with a tiled roof - would not be proof against the weather much longer, if it were so even now, and how the mud and ooze were coated with lime, and how the choking vapour of the kiln crept in a ghostly way towards me. Still there was no answer, and I knocked again. No answer still, and I tried the latch.
It rose under my hand, and the door yielded. Looking in, I saw a lighted candle on a table, a bench, and a mattress on a truckle bedstead. As there was a loft above, I called, `Is there any one here?' but no voice answered. Then, I looked at my watch, and, finding that it was past nine, called again, `Is there any one here?' There being still no answer, I went out at the door, irresolute what to do.
It was beginning to rain fast. Seeing nothing save what I had seen already, I turned back into the house, and stood just within the shelter of the doorway, looking out into the night. While I was considering that some one must have been there lately and must soon be coming back, or the candle would not be burning, it came into my head to look if the wick were long. I turned round to do so, and had taken up the candle in my hand, when it was extinguished by some violent shock, and the next thing I comprehended, was, that I had been caught in a strong running noose, thrown over my head from behind.
`Now,' said a suppressed voice with an oath, `I've got you!'
`What is this?' I cried, struggling. `Who is it? Help, help, help!'
Not only were my arms pulled close to my sides, but the pressure on my bad arm caused me exquisite pain. Sometimes, a strong man's hand, sometimes a strong man's breast, was set against my mouth to deaden my cries, and with a hot breath always close to me, I struggled ineffectually in the dark, while I was fastened tight to the wall. `And now,' said the suppressed voice with another oath, `call out again, and I'll make short work of you!'
Faint and sick with the pain of my injured arm, bewildered by the surprise, and yet conscious how easily this threat could be put in execution, I desisted, and tried to ease my arm were it ever so little. But, it was bound too tight for that. I felt as if, having been burnt before, it were now being boiled.
The sudden exclusion of the night and the substitution of black darkness in its place, warned me that the man had closed a shutter. After groping about for a little, he found the flint and steel he wanted, and began to strike a light. I strained my sight upon the sparks that fell among the tinder, and upon which he breathed and breathed, match in hand, but I could only see his lips, and the blue point of the match; even those, but fitfully. The tinder was damp - no wonder there - and one after another the sparks died out.
The man was in no hurry, and struck again with the flint and steel. As the sparks fell thick and bright about him, I could see his hands, and touches of his face, and could make out that he was seated and bending over the table; but nothing more. Presently I saw his blue lips again, breathing on the tinder, and then a flare of light flashed up, and showed me Orlick.
Whom I had looked for, I don't know. I had not looked for him. Seeing him, I felt that I was in a dangerous strait indeed, and I kept my eyes upon him.
He lighted the candle from the flaring match with great deliberation, and dropped the match, and trod it out. Then, he put the candle away from him on the table, so that he could see me, and sat with his arms folded on the table and looked at me. I made out that I was fastened to a stout perpendicular ladder a few inches from the wall - a fixture there - the means of ascent to the loft above.
`Now,' said he, when we had surveyed one another for some time, `I've got you.'
`Unbind me. Let me go!'
`Ah!' he returned, `I'll let you go. I'll let you go to the moon, I'll let you go to the stars. All in good time.'
`Why have you lured me here?'
`Don't you know?' said he, with a deadly look
`Why have you set upon me in the dark?'
`Because I mean to do it all myself. One keeps a secret better than two. Oh you enemy, you enemy!'
His enjoyment of the spectacle I furnished, as he sat with his arms folded on the table, shaking his head at me and hugging himself, had a malignity in it that made me tremble. As I watched him in silence, he put his hand into the corner at his side, and took up a gun with a brass-bound stock.
`Do you know this?' said he, making as if he would take aim at me. `Do you know where you saw it afore? Speak, wolf!'
`Yes,' I answered.
`You cost me that place. You did. Speak!'
`What else could I do?'
`You did that, and that would be enough, without more. How dared you to come betwixt me and a young woman I liked?'
`When did I?'
`When didn't you? It was you as always give Old Orlick a bad name to her.'
`You gave it to yourself; you gained it for yourself. I could have done you no harm, if you had done yourself none.'
`You're a liar. And you'll take any pains, and spend any money, to drive me out of this country, will you?' said he, repeating my words to Biddy in the last interview I had with her. `Now, I'll tell you a piece of information. It was never so well worth your while to get me out of this country as it is to-night. Ah! If it was all your money twenty times told, to the last brass farden!' As he shook his heavy hand at me, with his mouth snarling like a tiger's, I felt that it was true.
`What are you going to do to me?'
`I'm going,' said he, bringing his first down upon the table with a heavy blow, and rising as the blow fell, to give it greater force, `I'm a going to have your life!'
He leaned forward staring at me, slowly unclenched his hand and drew it across his mouth as if his mouth watered for me, and sat down again.
`You was always in Old Orlick's way since ever you was a child. You goes out of his way, this present night. He'll have no more on you. You're dead.'
I felt that I had come to the brink of my grave. For a moment I looked wildly round my trap for any chance of escape; but there was none.
`More than that,' said he, folding his arms on the table again, `I won't have a rag of you, I won't have a bone of you, left on earth. I'll put your body in the kiln - I'd carry two such to it, on my shoulders - and, let people suppose what they may of you, they shall never know nothing.'
My mind, with inconceivable rapidity, followed out all the consequences of such a death. Estella's father would believe I had deserted him, would be taken, would die accusing me; even Herbert would doubt me, when he compared the letter I had left for him, with the fact that I had called at Miss Havisham's gate for only a moment; Joe and Biddy would never know how sorry I had been that night; none would ever know what I had suffered, how true I had meant to be, what an agony I had passed through. The death close before me was terrible, but far more terrible than death was the dread of being misremembered after death. And so quick were my thoughts, that I saw myself despised by unborn generations - Estella's children, and their children - while the wretch's words were yet on his lips.
`Now, wolf,' said he, `afore I kill you like any other beast - which is wot I mean to do and wot I have tied you up for - I'll have a good look at you and a good goad at you. Oh, you enemy!'
It had passed through my thoughts to cry out for help again; though few could know better than I, the solitary nature of the spot, and the hopelessness of aid. But as he sat gloating over me, I was supported by a scornful detestation of him that sealed my lips. Above all things, I resolved that I would not entreat him, and that I would die making some last poor resistance to him. Softened as my thoughts of all the rest of men were in that dire extremity; humbly beseeching pardon, as I did, of Heaven; melted at heart, as I was, by the thought that I had taken no farewell, and never never now could take farewell, of those who were dear to me, or could explain myself to them, or ask for their compassion on my miserable errors; still, if I could have killed him, even in dying, I would have done it.
He had been drinking, and his eyes were red and bloodshot. Around his neck was slung a tin bottle, as I had often seen his meat and drink slung about him in other days. He brought the bottle to his lips, and took a fiery drink from it; and I smelt the strong spirits that I saw flash into his face.
`Wolf!' said he, folding his arms again, `Old Orlick's a going to tell you somethink. It was you as did for your shrew sister.'
Again my mind, with its former inconceivable rapidity, had exhausted the whole subject of the attack upon my sister, her illness, and her death, before his slow and hesitating speech had formed these words.
`It was you, villain,' said I.
`I tell you it was your doing - I tell you it was done through you,' he retorted, catching up the gun, and making a blow with the stock at the vacant air between us. `I come upon her from behind, as I come upon you to-night. I giv' it her! I left her for dead, and if there had been a limekiln as nigh her as there is now nigh you, she shouldn't have come to life again. But it warn't Old Orlick as did it; it was you. You was favoured, and he was bullied and beat. Old Orlick bullied and beat, eh? Now you pays for it. You done it; now you pays for it.'
He drank again, and became more ferocious. I saw by his tilting of the bottle that there was no great quantity left in it. I distinctly understood that he was working himself up with its contents, to make an end of me. I knew that every drop it held, was a drop of my life. I knew that when I was changed into a part of the vapour that had crept towards me but a little while before, like my own warning ghost, he would do as he had done in my sister's case - make all haste to the town, and be seen slouching about there, drinking at the ale-houses. My rapid mind pursued him to the town, made a picture of the street with him in it, and contrasted its lights and life with the lonely marsh and the white vapour creeping over it, into which I should have dissolved.
It was not only that I could have summed up years and years and years while he said a dozen words, but that what he did say presented pictures to me, and not mere words. In the excited and exalted state of my brain, I could not think of a place without seeing it, or of persons without seeing them. It is impossible to over-state the vividness of these images, and yet I was so intent, all the time, upon him himself - who would not be intent on the tiger crouching to spring! - that I knew of the slightest action of his fingers.
When he had drunk this second time, he rose from the bench on which he sat, and pushed the table aside. Then, he took up the candle, and shading it with his murderous hand so as to throw its light on me, stood before me, looking at me and enjoying the sight.
`Wolf, I'll tell you something more. It was Old Orlick as you tumbled over on your stairs that night.'
I saw the staircase with its extinguished lamps. I saw the shadows of the heavy stair-rails, thrown by the watchman's lantern on the wall. I saw the rooms that I was never to see again; here, a door half open; there, a door closed; all the articles of furniture around.
`And why was Old Orlick there? I'll tell you something more, wolf. You and her have pretty well hunted me out of this country, so far as getting a easy living in it goes, and I've took up with new companions, and new masters. Some of 'em writes my letters when I wants 'em wrote - do you mind? - writes my letters, wolf! They writes fifty hands; they're not like sneaking you, as writes but one. I've had a firm mind and a firm will to have your life, since you was down here at your sister's burying. I han't seen a way to get you safe, and I've looked arter you to know your ins and outs. For, says Old Orlick to himself, ""Somehow or another I'll have him!"" What! When I looks for you, I finds your uncle Provis, eh?'
Mill Pond Bank, and Chinks's Basin, and the Old Green Copper Rope-Walk, all so clear and plain! Provis in his rooms, the signal whose use was over, pretty Clara, the good motherly woman, old Bill Barley on his back, all drifting by, as on the swift stream of my life fast running out to sea!
`You with a uncle too! Why, I know'd you at Gargery's when you was so small a wolf that I could have took your weazen betwixt this finger and thumb and chucked you away dead (as I'd thoughts o' doing, odd times, when I see you loitering amongst the pollards on a Sunday), and you hadn't found no uncles then. No, not you! But when Old Orlick come for to hear that your uncle Provis had mostlike wore the leg-iron wot Old Orlick had picked up, filed asunder, on these meshes ever so many year ago, and wot he kep by him till he dropped your sister with it, like a bullock, as he means to drop you - hey? - when he come for to hear that - hey?--'
In his savage taunting, he flared the candle so close at me, that I turned my face aside, to save it from the flame.
`Ah!' he cried, laughing, after doing it again, `the burnt child dreads the fire! Old Orlick knowed you was burnt, Old Orlick knowed you was smuggling your uncle Provis away, Old Orlick's a match for you and know'd you'd come to-night! Now I'll tell you something more, wolf, and this ends it. There's them that's as good a match for your uncle Provis as Old Orlick has been for you. Let him 'ware them, when he's lost his nevvy! Let him 'ware them, when no man can't find a rag of his dear relation's clothes, nor yet a bone of his body. There's them that can't and that won't have Magwitch - yes, I know the name! - alive in the same land with them, and that's had such sure information of him when he was alive in another land, as that he couldn't and shouldn't leave it unbeknown and put them in danger. P'raps it's them that writes fifty hands, and that's not like sneaking you as writes but one. 'Ware Compeyson, Magwitch, and the gallows!'
He flared the candle at me again, smoking my face and hair, and for an instant blinding me, and turned his powerful back as he replaced the light on the table. I had thought a prayer, and had been with Joe and Biddy and Herbert, before he turned towards me again.
There was a clear space of a few feet between the table and the opposite wall. Within this space, he now slouched backwards and forwards. His great strength seemed to sit stronger upon him than ever before, as he did this with his hands hanging loose and heavy at his sides, and with his eyes scowling at me. I had no grain of hope left. Wild as my inward hurry was, and wonderful the force of the pictures that rushed by me instead of thoughts, I could yet clearly understand that unless he had resolved that I was within a few moments of surely perishing out of all human knowledge, he would never have told me what he had told.
Of a sudden, he stopped, took the cork out of his bottle, and tossed it away. Light as it was, I heard it fall like a plummet. He swallowed slowly, tilting up the bottle by little and little, and now he looked at me no more. The last few drops of liquor he poured into the palm of his hand, and licked up. Then, with a sudden hurry of violence and swearing horribly, he threw the bottle from him, and stooped; and I saw in his hand a stone-hammer with a long heavy handle.
The resolution I had made did not desert me, for, without uttering one vain word of appeal to him, I shouted out with all my might, and struggled with all my might. It was only my head and my legs that I could move, but to that extent I struggled with all the force, until then unknown, that was within me. In the same instant I heard responsive shouts, saw figures and a gleam of light dash in at the door, heard voices and tumult, and saw Orlick emerge from a struggle of men, as if it were tumbling water, clear the table at a leap, and fly out into the night.
After a blank, I found that I was lying unbound, on the floor, in the same place, with my head on some one's knee. My eyes were fixed on the ladder against the wall, when I came to myself - had opened on it before my mind saw it - and thus as I recovered consciousness, I knew that I was in the place where I had lost it.
Too indifferent at first, even to look round and ascertain who supported me, I was lying looking at the ladder, when there came between me and it, a face. The face of Trabb's boy!
`I think he's all right!' said Trabb's boy, in a sober voice; `but ain't he just pale though!'
At these words, the face of him who supported me looked over into mine, and I saw my supporter to be--
`Herbert! Great Heaven!'
`Softly,' said Herbert. `Gently, Handel. Don't be too eager.'
`And our old comrade, Startop!' I cried, as he too bent over me.
`Remember what he is going to assist us in,' said Herbert, `and be calm.'
The allusion made me spring up; though I dropped again from the pain in my arm. `The time has not gone by, Herbert, has it? What night is to-night? How long have I been here?' For, I had a strange and strong misgiving that I had been lying there a long time - a day and a night - two days and nights - more.
`The time has not gone by. It is still Monday night.'
`Thank God!'
`And you have all to-morrow, Tuesday, to rest in,' said Herbert. `But you can't help groaning, my dear Handel. What hurt have you got? Can you stand?'
`Yes, yes,' said I, `I can walk. I have no hurt but in this throbbing arm.'
They laid it bare, and did what they could. It was violently swollen and inflamed, and I could scarcely endure to have it touched. But, they tore up their handkerchiefs to make fresh bandages, and carefully replaced it in the sling, until we could get to the town and obtain some cooling lotion to put upon it. In a little while we had shut the door of the dark and empty sluice-house, and were passing through the quarry on our way back. Trabb's boy - Trabb's overgrown young man now - went before us with a lantern, which was the light I had seen come in at the door. But, the moon was a good two hours higher than when I had last seen the sky, and the night though rainy was much lighter. The white vapour of the kiln was passing from us as we went by, and, as I had thought a prayer before, I thought a thanksgiving now.
Entreating Herbert to tell me how he had come to my rescue - which at first he had flatly refused to do, but had insisted on my remaining quiet - I learnt that I had in my hurry dropped the letter, open, in our chambers, where he, coming home to bring with him Startop whom he had met in the street on his way to me, found it, very soon after I was gone. Its tone made him uneasy, and the more so because of the inconsistency between it and the hasty letter I had left for him. His uneasiness increasing instead of subsiding after a quarter of an hour's consideration, he set off for the coach-office, with Startop, who volunteered his company, to make inquiry when the next coach went down. Finding that the afternoon coach was gone, and finding that his uneasiness grew into positive alarm, as obstacles came in his way, he resolved to follow in a post-chaise. So, he and Startop arrived at the Blue Boar, fully expecting there to find me, or tidings of me; but, finding neither, went on to Miss Havisham's, where they lost me. Hereupon they went back to the hotel (doubtless at about the time when I was hearing the popular local version of my own story), to refresh themselves and to get some one to guide them out upon the marshes. Among the loungers under the Boar's archway, happened to be Trabb's boy - true to his ancient habit of happening to be everywhere where he had no business - and Trabb's boy had seen me passing from Miss Havisham's in the direction of my dining-place. Thus, Trabb's boy became their guide, and with him they went out to the sluice-house: though by the town way to the marshes, which I had avoided. Now, as they went along, Herbert reflected, that I might, after all, have been brought there on some genuine and serviceable errand tending to Provis's safety, and, bethinking himself that in that case interruption must be mischievous, left his guide and Startop on the edge of the quarry, and went on by himself, and stole round the house two or three times, endeavouring to ascertain whether all was right within. As he could hear nothing but indistinct sounds of one deep rough voice (this was while my mind was so busy), he even at last began to doubt whether I was there, when suddenly I cried out loudly, and he answered the cries, and rushed in, closely followed by the other two.
When I told Herbert what had passed within the house, he was for our immediately going before a magistrate in the town, late at night as it was, and getting out a warrant. But, I had already considered that such a course, by detaining us there, or binding us to come back, might be fatal to Provis. There was no gainsaying this difficulty, and we relinquished all thoughts of pursuing Orlick at that time. For the present, under the circumstances, we deemed it prudent to make rather light of the matter to Trabb's boy; who I am convinced would have been much affected by disappointment, if he had known that his intervention saved me from the limekiln. Not that Trabb's boy was of a malignant nature, but that he had too much spare vivacity, and that it was in his constitution to want variety and excitement at anybody's expense. When we parted, I presented him with two guineas (which seemed to meet his views), and told him that I was sorry ever to have had an ill opinion of him (which made no impression on him at all).
Wednesday being so close upon us, we determined to go back to London that night, three in the post-chaise; the rather, as we should then be clear away, before the night's adventure began to be talked of. Herbert got a large bottle of stuff for my arm, and by dint of having this stuff dropped over it all the night through, I was just able to bear its pain on the journey. It was daylight when we reached the Temple, and I went at once to bed, and lay in bed all day.
My terror, as I lay there, of falling ill and being unfitted for tomorrow, was so besetting, that I wonder it did not disable me of itself. It would have done so, pretty surely, in conjunction with the mental wear and tear I had suffered, but for the unnatural strain upon me that to-morrow was. So anxiously looked forward to, charged with such consequences, its results so impenetrably hidden though so near.
No precaution could have been more obvious than our refraining from communication with him that day; yet this again increased my restlessness. I started at every footstep and every sound, believing that he was discovered and taken, and this was the messenger to tell me so. I persuaded myself that I knew he was taken; that there was something more upon my mind than a fear or a presentiment; that the fact had occurred, and I had a mysterious knowledge of it. As the day wore on and no ill news came, as the day closed in and darkness fell, my overshadowing dread of being disabled by illness before to-morrow morning, altogether mastered me. My burning arm throbbed, and my burning head throbbed, and I fancied I was beginning to wander. I counted up to high numbers, to make sure of myself, and repeated passages that I knew in prose and verse. It happened sometimes that in the mere escape of a fatigued mind, I dozed for some moments or forgot; then I would say to myself with a start, `Now it has come, and I am turning delirious!'
They kept me very quiet all day, and kept my arm constantly dressed, and gave me cooling drinks. Whenever I fell asleep, I awoke with the notion I had had in the sluice-house, that a long time had elapsed and the opportunity to save him was gone. About midnight I got out of bed and went to Herbert, with the conviction that I had been asleep for four-and-twenty hours, and that Wednesday was past. It was the last self-exhausting effort of my fretfulness, for, after that, I slept soundly.
Wednesday morning was dawning when I looked out of window. The winking lights upon the bridges were already pale, the coming sun was like a marsh of fire on the horizon. The river, still dark and mysterious, was spanned by bridges that were turning coldly grey, with here and there at top a warm touch from the burning in the sky. As I looked along the clustered roofs, with Church towers and spires shooting into the unusually clear air, the sun rose up, and a veil seemed to be drawn from the river, and millions of sparkles burst out upon its waters. From me too, a veil seemed to be drawn, and I felt strong and well.
Herbert lay asleep in his bed, and our old fellow-student lay asleep on the sofa. I could not dress myself without help, but I made up the fire, which was still burning, and got some coffee ready for them. In good time they too started up strong and well, and we admitted the sharp morning air at the windows, and looked at the tide that was still flowing towards us.
`When it turns at nine o'clock,' said Herbert, cheerfully, `look out for us, and stand ready, you over there at Mill Pond Bank!'
 
这是一个黑黑的夜，我离开围堤一直走上沼泽地时，一轮圆圆的月亮正冉冉升起。远远的一道黑色水平线之外是一条清澈天空的长带，狭得连这轮红色圆月也容纳不下。月儿正从那清澈的长带中向上攀登，没有几分钟便隐没于高山云海之中。
这里的风在幽怨地倾诉，这里的沼泽无限凄凉。没有来过这里的人肯定受不了，即使是我，在这里土生土长的人也深感压力沉重，竟然也犹豫起来，甚至想掉头回去。不过，我对这一带十分了解，即使在漆黑之夜也能分辨出要走的路；既来之，就无须再寻找理由返回。于是我什么也不顾地向前走去，不顾一切地走下去。
我行走的方向并不是朝着我昔日所住的老屋，也不是朝着当年追捕逃犯的那个方向。我行走时背正对着远远的监狱船，那远处沙滩三角地带的古老灯塔仍然可以辨别得出，只须一掉头便可以看到。我既熟悉古炮台的所在，也熟悉石灰窑，不过这两处都相隔几英里之远。如果在夜里这两处都燃起灯光，于是在这两个光点之间便形成了一条又长又窄的黑色水平线。
起初，我还不得不在走过有栅门的地方把栅门再关上，在遇到躺在防护堤上的牛儿时，还得静静地站在那里等待它从地上爬起来，冲进草丛和芦苇中，然后再走，可过了一会儿，留在我面前的似乎就只是一片沼泽地了。
我又花了半个小时才走到石灰窑的附近。石灰还在燃烧着，发出一股滞重而令人窒息的气味。火还在那里烧着，石灰工人却一个也看不见。附近有一个小采石坑，就在我前面，看来今天这里有人干过活，因为我看到坑的四周堆放着各种工具和手推车。
这条凹凸不平的路要通过采石坑，我爬过了坑才又回到沼泽地面上，看到那间古老破旧的水闸小屋里正点着灯，我便加快步伐走了过去，抬手敲门。我在等待开门时，打量了一下四周，注意到这座水间已经废弃，而且破损不堪。这所房屋从其木结构和砖瓦顶的情况来看，也是遮不住几天的风雨了，甚至现在就已经不能遮风雨了。外面的泥泞地上积了一层白灰，窑里飘出一股令人窒息的白烟，就像幽灵一般地向我袭来。我没有听到有人应答，便又一次敲门。仍然没有人应答，我便伸手去拨门闩。
我用手一拨门闩，门就开了。我向里面望去，看到在一张桌上燃着一支蜡烛，桌旁有一张长凳，还有一张帆布床，床上铺着席子。抬头看，上面还有一间小阁楼，于是我喊道：“里面有人吗？”可是没有听到有人回答。然后，我看了一下表，现在的时间已过了九点。我又喊道：“里面有人吗？”仍然没有听到有人回答，我便走出门来，真不知道怎么办是好。
这时外面开始下起雨来。我看看外面还是和刚才一样，于是又转身进屋，站在门道中躲雨，眼睛注视着门外的黑夜。我想，一会儿之前一定有人来过这里，而且很快此人就要回来，否则，这里的蜡烛怎么会是点着的呢。于是我想，我得去看一看烛芯是否很长了。我转过身子去拿蜡烛，刚把蜡烛取到手上，突然有什么东西猛地把我一撞，蜡烛光也就熄了，等我意识到什么时，事情已经发生，从我的背后套来一个活结，结结实实地把我套住了。
有一个人压低了自己的嗓音骂道：“好家伙，这回可捉住你了！”
“这是干什么？”我高叫着，挣扎着，“你是谁？救命啊！救命啊！救命啊！”
我的两只手臂不仅被紧紧地按在腰部，而且那条重伤的手臂被紧接着，使我痛苦到了极点。有时是一只强有力的手，有时是一个强有力的胸部，总会顶住我的嘴巴，想堵住我的叫喊，甚至还有一股呼出的热气总是冲着我。在黑暗中我无效地挣扎着，最后被结结实实地绑在了墙上。那个压低了嗓音的人又骂了一句：“好了，你再叫，我就结果你的性命！”
烧伤的那只胳膊疼得使我头晕恶心，这场惊吓又使我迷惑不解，同时心中也意识到这恐吓不是开玩笑，很可能是真的，我便不再叫喊，并尽量使绑着的手臂松动一下，哪怕松动一点儿也好。但是手臂被绑得太紧，毫无动弹的可能。我这只重伤的胳膊本来已经被烧伤，现在却又像被放在滚水中煮一样。
屋里的夜色突然消失了，出现一片全然的黑暗。经验告诉我，这个人已经把窗户关了起来。摸索了一会儿之后，他找到了火石火刀，便开始敲打出火星。打出来的火星落在火绒上面，他拿着一根火柴对着火星直吹气。我尽力地注意着这一切，却只能看到他的双唇和那根火柴的蓝色火柴头，随着火光一隐一现。火绒受潮了，这并不奇怪，火花一个接一个地熄灭了。
这个人一点也不慌忙，一次又一次地打着他的火石人刀。火星散落在他的四周，渐渐多了起来，亮了起来，因此我可以看到他的手，看到他面部的特征，并且辨别出他正坐着，正俯身在桌子上，其他便看不见了。不久，我又看到他的青紫嘴唇，继续吹着火绒，接着倏地亮起了一道火光，我才看出他是奥立克。
我来寻找的人究竟是谁，我弄不清楚，但我决不是来找他的。我一看到是他，就意识到自己确实处境危险。我紧紧地盯住他。
他十分小心谨慎地用点着了的火柴点亮了蜡烛，然后把火柴丢在地上用脚踩熄，然后他把蜡烛放在桌子上，这样他便能看清我了。他坐在那里，两只手臂交叉地搁在桌子上，仔细地瞧着我。我这时也弄清我是被绑在一条直梯上的，离墙只有几英寸远。这梯子是固定地竖在那里的，直通上面的阁楼。
“你看，”我们相互对望了一会儿，他才说道，“这回我可捉住你了。”
“快替我松绑。放我走！”
“噢！”他答道，“我就会放你走。我会把你放到月宫里去，我会把你放到九霄云外去。我会选个好时间让你走的。”
“你为什么把我骗到这里来？”
“难道你不知道？”他狠狠地望着我说道。
“你为什么在黑暗中暗算我？”
“因为我想我一个人独自干。要严守秘密嘛，与其两个人干，不如一个人干。哦，你这个死对头，你是我的死对头！”
他坐在那里，两条胳膊交叉着放在桌上，得意洋洋地欣赏着我，对着我摇头晃脑，沾沾自喜，所表现出来的那副狠毒样子使我全身颤抖。我默默无言地注视看他，见他伸手到身边的角落里取出一支枪，枪托上包了铜皮。
“你认识这个玩艺儿吧？”他摆弄着枪，像在瞄准我的样子，说道，“你想想你过去在什么地方见过这玩艺儿？你说，你这条狼！”
“记得。”我答道。
“你把我那个地方的差使给搞掉了。你说，是你吧？”
“我还能怎么做呢？”
“你干了这件事，就这一件，用不着别的，你就该死。你怎么还敢插足进我和我喜欢的姑娘的好事？”
“我什么时候插足了？”
“你还要问我什么时候？你总是在她面前讲我的坏话，就是你总是败坏我老奥立克的名誉。”
“是你说你自己的坏话，你也是自食其果，如果你不自己造成你的坏名声，我怎么能损害了你的名声呢？”
“你在说谎。你不管要费多大的力气，你不管要付多少的钱，就想把我从这个乡下赶走，那么你快赶我走啊？”他重复了我和毕蒂最后一次见面时我说的话。“现在我就再提供你一点信息吧。我看你就在今天晚上把我从这个乡下赶走吧，否则你就来不及了。我看你就是花上你所有家当二十倍的钱也是值得的！”他对着我摇着那只厉害的手，嘴里咆哮着像一头猛虎。我感到他说的这话倒是真的。
“你准备对我怎样？”
“我准备嘛，”他说着捏起拳头在桌子上狠狠地击了一下，随着拳头的下落他的身子忽地站了起来，这一下可助长了他的威势，“我准备结果你的性命！”
他探过身子狠狠地盯住我，慢慢地松开了拳头，伸开手掌抹着嘴巴，仿佛抹着因为想吃我而流下的口水。接着他又坐了下来。
“你从小开始就一直对我老奥立克碍手碍脚，今天晚上你就不会再碍我的事了，我也不会再找你的麻烦了，因为我要把你送到鬼门关去。”
我这才感到我已经踏进坟墓的边缘。我慌忙地向四周张望，看是否能找一个机会逃出这张罗网；然而什么机会也找不到。
“杀死你还出不了我这口气，”他又把双臂交叉地搁在桌上，说道，“一不做，二不休，你身上的每一块布片，你身上的每一块骨头都不会留在这个世上。我要把你整个人都丢进石灰窑，像你这种人，我一次可以背两个摔进去，烧得什么也不剩。让人们爱怎么猜就怎么猜吧，反正谁也不会知道真相。”
这时我的思路却十分快速敏捷，大脑中出现了一幕幕我死后的结果：埃斯苔娜的父亲一定以为我抛弃了他，他会被捕，即使死他也不会瞑目，在阴间也会谴责我；连赫伯特也会怀疑我，因为我留给他的条子说是探望郝维仙小姐，其实我只在她家门口逗留了片刻，他一打听就会发现问题；乔和毕蒂永远也不会知道这天夜里我心中涌出的对他们的内疚，任何人都不会知道我内心承受的痛苦，不知道我的心是如何怀有诚意，以及我所经受的痛苦历程。死期临近固然可怕，然而担心死后被别人误解就更为可怕。我的思维如此迅速，万千想象一闪而过，甚至看到了未来的一代又一代都在轻视我，如埃斯苔娜的孩子们，这些孩子们的孩子们。这时，那个恶棍又开始说话了。
“你这头狼，”他说道，“我杀掉你不过是杀一头野兽，我把你捆起来，就是为了杀掉你。不过在杀你之前，我得好好瞧你一瞧，还得好好气你一下，你这个死对头！”
我的思想千头万绪，甚至出现了想呼救的念头；然而我现在比谁都清楚，在如此荒凉的所在，再喊破了喉咙也是无济于事的。他坐在那里用嘲笑的眼神打量着我，而我只有对他表示轻蔑，表示仇恨，紧闭双唇，一语不发。终究我下定决心，绝对不哀求他，只要一息尚存，也要和他抗争到底。我想在如此悲惨的情况下，想到其他所有的人我都会心软；我宁愿低声下气地对上天祈求；我想到对那些曾经善待我的人我没有说声再见，我也无法再说再见，无法向他们表明我的心意，请求他们谅解我可怜的错误，并为此感到深深的歉意。而对于这个家伙，即使我是走在黄泉路上，只要我能够杀他，我下手是不会留情的。
他正在喝着酒，双眼红红的，露出血丝。他脖子上吊了一只锡制的酒瓶，这是他的老习惯，他总是把吃的肉啊喝的酒啊吊在脖子上。他把酒瓶移到嘴边，狠命地从瓶里喝了一口；我问到一股强烈的酒精味，看到他脸上泛起一阵红色。
“你这条狼！”他又一次叉起双臂，说道，“老奥立克再来告诉你一件事吧，是你自己害死了你那个凶悍的姐姐。”
他那慢慢吞吞结结巴巴的话还没有讲完，一幕幕情景就在我大脑中一闪而过了：他是如何攻击我的姐姐，我姐姐如何身遭不测，以及如何死亡等等。
“你这个无赖，她是你害死的。”我说道。
“我告诉你这是你干的，我告诉你这都是由你造成的。”他一把抓住了枪，对着我们两人之间的空中猛地用枪托一击，说道，“我那天从背后悄悄地走向她，就像今夜悄悄地从背后走向你一样。我猛击了她一下！我以为她死了才离开她。要是那里附近有一个石灰坑，像离着你这么近，她也不会再活过来的，不过杀死她不能怪我老奥立克，这完全怪你。你看你走运，而我倒霉，受欺侮，被人打。你看老奥立克是受欺侮被人打的人么？现在冤有头，债有主，你来偿命。你既然敢做，你就该来偿命。”
他又一次捧起瓶子喝酒，凶相也就更加暴露无遗了。我看他把酒瓶倒竖着喝，知道瓶里的酒已经不多。我非常有数，他喝酒不过是为了壮壮自己的胆量，好倚仗胆子来结果我的性命。我知道，瓶中的每一滴酒都是我的一滴生命。我知道，我就会变成一股白烟，和刚才袭击我的白烟一样，似幽灵般地与它合二为一，然后他就会像谋杀我的姐姐之后一样，匆匆地走到镇上，让大家都看到他慢吞吞地在四处(足留)来(足留)去，在酒店里喝酒。我的思绪又起伏万千，跟着他仿佛走到镇里，一片街景出现在眼前，遍处灯火、人群；而这里是荒凉的沼泽地和升起的白烟，而我自己也融进了茫茫的烟气。
尽管他说了不过那么十来个字，却唤醒了我多少年的往事，一幕幕都历历在目；他说的根本不是单个儿的词，而是一幅幅图画。我的大脑激动起来，处于高度亢奋的状态，一想到某个地方，立刻便身临其境；一想到某人，他立刻便出现在眼前。一切都那么栩栩如生，毫不夸大；同时我一刻不停地在紧盯着他，谁会不紧紧盯住那只蹲在自己面前随时准备扑向自己的老虎呢？随便他哪一只手指的轻轻一动，我都看得清清楚楚。
他第二次喝了酒后，忽地从他所坐的长凳上站了起来，把桌子推开一些。接着，他端起了蜡烛，用他那只染有血腥气味的手遮住光，好让烛光照亮我。他站在我的面前，望着我，欣赏着我。
“你这条狼，我还得告诉你一件事，让你听听。那天晚上你在楼梯上被人绊倒，绊倒你的那个人正是我老奥立克。”
我立刻仿佛又看见那悬吊着熄灭了的灯火的楼梯，看见那守在人灯笼的光投在墙上的笨重楼梯栏杆的阴影；我仿佛又看见了那些我今后再也见不到的房间，看，这扇门半开着，那扇门紧闭着，房中的全部家具都呈现在眼前。
“老奥立克为什么要到你那里去？我再让你知道些新东西，你这头狼。你和她把我从乡下赶出来，逼得我无路可走，连一碗闲饭也吃不到，我便交上了新朋友，认了新主人。我要写信的时候，他们就会帮助我写，你不见怪吗？你这条狼，他们会帮我写信！他们能写五十种字体，他们可不像你这个鬼鬼祟祟的东西，你只能写一种字体。自从那一次你回乡来参加你姐姐的葬礼，我就作了决定，一心一意要结果你的性命。当时我找不到办法来结果你，便打探你的行踪，我这个老奥立克在心中总是盘算着，‘无论如何我要把你除掉！’你看发生了什么，我居然在找你时碰上了你的伯父普鲁威斯，有这回事吗？”
这一来，我眼前又出现了磨坊河滨、凹湾以及老青铜制索走道，一切都形象鲜明地历历在目！坐在屋子里的普鲁威斯，已经用过了的信号，那位慈母般的好女人，可爱的克拉娜，成天躺在床上的比尔•巴莱老头，一切一切都在眼前飘浮而去，仿佛借助了我生命的急流飞速奔腾，直入大海。
“你居然也有个伯父！我在葛奇里铁匠铺子时就认识你，那时你不过是这么大的小狼崽子，我本来可以用大拇指和食指抓住你一掐就致你于死地。那时每逢星期天我看到你无所事事地在新发芽的树林里闲逛，我就想干掉你；那个时候你根本就没有什么伯父。你没有，你根本就没有！可是我这个老奥立克后来却听说你的普鲁威斯伯父最喜欢戴脚镣，偏偏这副锉开的脚镣被我在沼泽地上捡到了，当然这是许多年前的事了。于是我就把它收起来，后来我就用这东西砸了你姐姐，好像一头小公牛一样凶猛，现在我又要用它来砸你了，听着，嗳？当我听说了这件事——嗳？”
他蛮横地奚落我，又把蜡烛移近我晃动着，我只有把脸转向一边，免得蜡烛的火烧着我。
“噢！”他又用蜡烛的火靠近我的面孔晃动着，又是大叫，又是大笑，“一次被火伤，终生怕见火！老奥立克知道你被烧伤了，老奥立克知道你正想把你的普鲁威斯偷渡到国外去，老奥立克可算是你的对手，早就预料到今晚你一定来！好吧，我再让你知道一件事，你这条狼，这是最后的一件事了。要说老奥立克是你的对手，你的普鲁威斯伯父也有对手呢。如今侄儿丢掉了，他该注意注意那个人了。如今他那亲侄儿的衣服一片也找不到了，尸骨也找不到一根，他该警惕一下那个人了。至于那个人嘛，他是不可能，也不会容忍马格韦契和他住在同一个国度里的。是的，我知道马格韦契这个名字。甚至当马格韦契还住在海外时，那个人就打探他的消息了，所以他不可能回来而不让那个人知道。他不可能找那个人的麻烦。那个人能写五十种字体，和你不同，你这个鬼鬼祟祟的东西只能写一种字体。噢马格韦契，可得留神那个康佩生啊，他会把你送上绞刑架！”
他把蜡烛的火又一次靠近我晃动着，熏着我的面孔和头发，使我一时像瞎了一般睁不开眼睛。然后他转过那副粗大结实的身子，把蜡烛放到桌子上。趁他的身子还没有转过来时，我祷告着，思念着乔、毕蒂和赫伯特。
在桌子和正对面的墙之间是一块几英尺见方的空地，就在这块空间里他懒洋洋地前后踱着步子。看上去他浑身都是劲，比以往更加有力，但见他的两只手分开，沉重地垂在两边腰间，一双眼睛对我怒目而视。我知道这次我是定死无疑，毫无一线生机。我内心忧愁焦急万分，然而愁绪中出现的都不是词句，而是一幅幅图画。我十分明白，他之所以告诉我他刚才说的那些话，目的就是为了在一会儿之后把我杀死，并毁尸灭迹，做到人不知鬼不觉。
这时他停下了脚步，突然拔下了酒瓶塞子，并随手抛开。瓶塞虽然很轻，在我听来却好像发出了一只铅锤落地一样的巨响。他举瓶喝酒，慢慢地，一点一点地，他的口就着瓶口，瓶底越来越高，使他再不能瞪着我了。他把瓶中的最后几滴酒滴在手掌心，然后把它舐干净。一舐干净他就像疯了一样，发出可怕的咒骂声，把酒瓶丢掉，蹲下身。我看到他用手拿起了一把石槌，槌柄又长又笨重。
我已经下了决心，决不改变。我决不用虚假的话向他求饶，而是用尽全身力气，大声叫喊，并且拼命地挣扎着。虽然当时我只有头和腿可以动动，但是我知道我当时所用出的力气大得连我自己也感到惊奇。就在这顷刻之间，我听到有人回答的声音，又看到有几个人影和一线火光冲进门来。我听到人们的嘈杂声和慌乱的脚步声；我着到奥立克从扭打的人群中挣扎出来，好像那是汹涌的水流，然后从桌子上一跃而下，消失在门外的黑暗之中。
迷迷糊糊过了一会儿，我发现身上的绳子已经解开，我躺在了原来的地上，头好像枕在一个什么人的膝上。我睁开眼望着靠在墙上的梯子。我在没有苏醒时，其实也是睁着服望着同一个地方，现在一苏醒过来，我便意识到我还是躺在我晕过去的地方。
一开始由于我失去了知觉，根本不知道转动头去观望四周，看究竟是谁扶住了我，只是呆呆地躺在那里望着梯子。一直等到在我和扶梯之间出现了一张面孔时，我才意识到这是特拉布裁缝店里的那个伙计。
“我看他没有问题！”特拉布裁缝店的小伙计说，语气十分认真，“不过他的脸色是不是有些苍白？”
这几句话说毕，扶住我的人将他的脸低下来注视着我，我看到这个人是——
“赫伯特！老天啊！”
“轻点，”赫伯特说道，“汉德尔，轻点。不要太激动了。”
这时斯塔特普也俯下身子看着我，看到他时我也大声叫喊道：“噢，斯塔特普，我们的老朋友也来了！”
赫伯特说道：“你忘掉他是要帮助我们办事的了吗？你现在可得安静些。”
他这一提示使我从地上站了起来，不过由于我臂膀的疼痛，不得不又跌坐在地上。“赫伯特，现在还没有误时吧，是不是？今天是哪一天啦？我在这里有多长时间了？”因为我顾虑重重，而且又很奇怪，我是不是在这里躺了好长时间，比如说有一天一夜，或有两天两夜，或许更长。
“还没有误时，现在还是星期一晚上。”
“谢谢苍天！”
“明天星期二，你可以休息一整天，”赫伯特说道，“不过你一直在呻吟，亲爱的汉德尔，你伤到哪里没有？你能不能站起来？”
“可以，可以，”我说道，“我能走路。我没有伤到哪里，只是这条胳膊一抽一抽地痛得厉害。”
他们把我手臂上的绷带松开，尽其所能解除着我的痛苦。只见这条胳膊又肿又发炎，只要一碰就疼痛不堪。他们把自己的手帕撕开当绷带用，把伤臂包扎好并吊了起来，这样可以支撑到回镇后再用清凉涂剂解痛。没有一会儿我们便出了门，关上这所又黑又空的水闸小屋的门，经过了路上的采石坑，便踏着步子向回去的路上走去。特拉布裁缝店里的小伙计，如今已长成一个翩翩少年。他举着灯笼在前面领路，这一灯光就是刚才我见到直冲进门的灯光。从那高高的月亮来看，以它现在和刚才来时的高度差计算，我在这里已待了两个小时。虽然月亮下洒下一些小雨，而天空却很明亮，只见石灰窑中的白色烟雾从我们身旁袅袅升起。我又默默地祈祷，内心中充满了感恩的情绪。
我恳求赫伯特告诉我他们是如何救我脱险的，起初他总是不想告诉我，一再说我应该保持安静。后来他才说，原来是这么一回事。因为我离开家时匆匆忙忙，忘掉拿着那封信，竟将它打开着留在了房间里。赫伯特在回家的路上遇到斯塔特普，便带着他一起回来。我刚离开不久他们就到了，一进门就看到了那封信，使他颇为不安，特别是又见到了我的留条，他把两者一比较，发现两者的不一致，就更为不安。由于内心的不安，他默默地考虑了一刻钟的光景，于是便同斯塔特普一起到驿站去，因为斯塔特普自愿和他同往。到了驿站打听下一班驿车开出的时间，结果下午的驿车业已出发，这一来他更为不安，乃至于不安到惊慌。既然没有驿车，便决定雇马车前往。就这样，他和斯塔特普到达了蓝野猪饭店，充满了期望在那里能找到我，或者能知道我的下落。结果两者都落空。他们又转而去到郝维仙小姐的家，同样落空。他们只有又回到蓝野猪饭店。无疑，那个时候我正在我吃饭的那家饭店中听老店主谈我自己流传在这一带的身世情况。他们在蓝野猪饭店休息了一会儿，准备找一个人带他们到沼泽地去。在蓝野猪饭店大门过道中有一些闲荡的人，他们遇上了特拉布裁缝店的小伙计。他的老习惯总改不掉，无事可做、东闯西荡。他说他刚才看到我从郝维仙小姐家出来，向着我用餐所在地的那个方向走去。这个特拉布裁缝店的伙计就成了他们的向导，陪他们走出饭店，向水闸小屋走去。他们是从大路走的，而我是避开大道从小路绕过去的。他们一路走着，赫伯特一路思索着我是被什么人招到那里去的，也许是真有什么事，对普鲁威斯的安全会有影响，所以他自己闯进去也许成事不足，败事有余，所以他让向导和斯塔特普留在采石坑旁，自己单独一人走过去，蹑手蹑足地围着屋子走了两三圈，以确定屋里的情况是否没有问题。可是他听不清，只能听到模模糊糊深沉粗哑的声音，这就是我心情最紧张的一霎时，而他还疑心我究竟在不在屋子里。就这时他突然听到我大声叫喊，于是连忙响应，一头冲了进去，其余的两个人也紧跟着跑了进去。
我把屋子中发生的详情告诉了赫伯特，他主张立刻到镇公所去报告发案的情况，尽管现在已经是深夜，让镇里立即开出拘捕令。但是，我对这件事早就有了考虑，要是这么一做，我们就被阻在这里，延误了回去的时间，说不定会对普鲁威斯造成致命的后果。这种麻烦是不可否定的，所以我们暂时不考虑追逐奥立克的事。我们处于当时的情况下，大家都要小心谨慎，特别是特拉布裁缝店的伙计万万不能泄露这件事。我深深相信，如果他知道了由于他的无意插人却救了我的性命，没有使我死在石灰窑中，他一定会大为失望的。这当然不是说特拉布裁缝店里的伙计心肠狠毒，而是他精力旺盛过了头，生性多变，喜欢刺激，拿别人的笑话作为自己的消遣。我们在和他分别时，我给了他两块金币，看来他还满意。我还向他表示了歉意，说过去不该把他看得很坏，对于这一点，他没有任何反应。
星期三就在眼前，我们决定在当夜赶回伦敦，于是三人乘那辆雇来的马车而回。这样，当夜里发生的事于镇上流传时，我们早就离开了那里。赫伯特为我受伤的胳膊买来了一大瓶药水，整个夜里不停地使用，才使我在路上忍住疼痛。我们抵达寺区时，天空已亮，我立刻躺到床上，并且整天没有下床。
我躺在床上，考虑着自己的病体对明天的行动不太适合，因此内心的恐惧使我万分苦恼，可是如此的折腾并没有把我完全弄倒，我倒感到十分奇怪。说实在的，一想到心灵的疲惫和忍受的莫大痛苦，如果不是因为明天的事情使整个神经拉紧，只怕我早就被弄倒了。我如此焦急地在盼望着，在思虑着会发生的情况。时间迫近，可结果却仍隐藏着，令人难以捉摸。
非常明显，为了预防不测，今天我们和普鲁威斯不再进行任何接触；可是这一来又增加了我在另外方面的不安。每一个脚步声或其他声音都会惊动我，会使我想到他一定被发现了，他一定被逮捕了，这一定是派来给我送信人的声音。我甚至那么肯定地认为他被捕了。这不是我的恐惧，不是我的预感，而是我心灵的知觉。只要他一被捕，我的心灵就会神秘地知道。随着白日的消逝，不见有噩耗传来；接着夜幕降临，恐怖的阴影又开始在我身边徘徊，担心明天早晨我的病体是否会恶化，等等，这些都占据着我的心灵。我被烧伤的臂膀隐隐地抽疼，我迷迷糊糊的头也隐隐地抽疼，我想我是不是神经开始错乱了。于是我顺序数数，发觉我并没有迷糊，头脑清醒如常；我又背诵了几段我学过的散文和诗歌。有时我感到心灵疲倦，不知不觉地睡上一会，或忘记了疼痛，可过一会儿又惊醒过来，我会自言自语：“现在开始了，我开始神志不清了！”
他们两人让我整天保持安静，不断地过来为我换绷带，让我喝清凉饮料。每逢睡着后，我都会因梦中水闸小屋的一幕而醒来，以为时间已经过去，失去了搭救普鲁威斯的机会。当天半夜，我从床上起来，摸到赫伯特那里，非常坚信这一觉已睡了二十四个小时，星期三已经过去。这一次半夜起身是该夜我最后一次在焦躁不安中消耗自我的精力，再后来，我便香甜地睡去了。
一觉醒来，凝望窗外，发现星期三的拂晓已徐徐来临。桥上闪烁着的灯光衬托在晓光之中已变得苍白，初升的太阳就像天边的一把燃烧着烈火的火炬。泰晤士河显得幽暗而神秘，架在河上的一座座桥梁泛出淡灰色和丝丝寒意，拂晓天空中燃烧般的红霞点缀着桥顶，并抹上了一片温暖。我顺着远处一连串的屋顶望去，那教堂的钟楼和尖塔一直伸向清澈明亮的天空，太阳正冉冉升起，一层纱幕似乎正从河上揭开，水面上闪耀着千百万燃烧般的光点。一层纱幕似乎也从我的身上被揭开，我突然感到精神抖擞、脑筋清爽。
赫伯特睡在他自己的床上，我们的老同学则躺在沙发上。虽然，由于他们未醒，没有得到他们的帮忙我无法穿衣，但是我却把尚未熄火的壁炉烧旺，并且为他们两人煮了咖啡。过了一会儿他们也一跃而起，精神抖擞，毫无倦色。于是，我们把窗户打开，让刺骨的早晨寒气进来，眺望着远远向我们奔流而来的潮水。
赫伯特兴高采烈地说道：“当河水到九点改变流向时，你就在磨坊河滨做好准备，等候我们吧！”
Chapter 54
IT was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade. We had out pea-coats with us, and I took a bag. Of all my worldly possessions I took no more than the few necessaries that filled the bag. Where I might go, what I might do, or when I might return, were questions utterly unknown to me; nor did I vex my mind with them, for it was wholly set on Provis's safety. I only wondered for the passing moment, as I stopped at the door and looked back, under what altered circumstances I should next see those rooms, if ever. 
We loitered down to the Temple stairs, and stood loitering there, as if we were not quite decided to go upon the water at all. Of course I had taken care that the boat should be ready and everything in order. After a little show of indecision, which there were none to see but the two or three amphibious creatures belonging to our Temple stairs, we went on board and cast off; Herbert in the bow, I steering. It was then about high-water - half-past eight.
Our plan was this. The tide, beginning to run down at nine, and being with us until three, we intended still to creep on after it had turned, and row against it until dark. We should then be well in those long reaches below Gravesend, between Kent and Essex, where the river is broad and solitary, where the waterside inhabitants are very few, and where lone public-houses are scattered here and there, of which we could choose one for a resting-place. There, we meant to lie by, all night. The steamer for Hamburg, and the steamer for Rotterdam, would start from London at about nine on Thursday morning. We should know at what time to expect them, according to where we were, and would hail the first; so that if by any accident we were not taken abroad, we should have another chance. We knew the distinguishing marks of each vessel.
The relief of being at last engaged in the execution of the purpose, was so great to me that I felt it difficult to realize the condition in which I had been a few hours before. The crisp air, the sunlight, the movement on the river, and the moving river itself - the road that ran with us, seeming to sympathize with us, animate us, and encourage us on - freshened me with new hope. I felt mortified to be of so little use in the boat; but, there were few better oarsmen than my two friends, and they rowed with a steady stroke that was to last all day.
At that time, the steam-traffic on the Thames was far below its present extent, and watermen's boats were far more numerous. Of barges, sailing colliers, and coasting traders, there were perhaps as many as now; but, of steam-ships, great and small, not a tithe or a twentieth part so many. Early as it was, there were plenty of scullers going here and there that morning, and plenty of barges dropping down with the tide; the navigation of the river between bridges, in an open boat, was a much easier and commoner matter in those days than it is in these; and we went ahead among many skiffs and wherries, briskly.
Old London Bridge was soon passed, and old Billingsgate market with its oyster-boats and Dutchmen, and the White Tower and Traitor's Gate, and we were in among the tiers of shipping. Here, were the Leith, Aberdeen, and Glasgow steamers, loading and unloading goods, and looking immensely high out of the water as we passed alongside; here, were colliers by the score and score, with the coal-whippers plunging off stages on deck, as counterweights to measures of coal swinging up, which were then rattled over the side into barges; here, at her moorings was to-morrow's steamer for Rotterdam, of which we took good notice; and here to-morrow's for Hamburg, under whose bowsprit we crossed. And now I, sitting in the stern, could see with a faster beating heart, Mill Pond Bank and Mill Pond stairs.
`Is he there?' said Herbert.
`Not yet.'
`Right! He was not to come down till he saw us. Can you see his signal?'
`Not well from here; but I think I see it. - Now, I see him! Pull both. Easy, Herbert. Oars!'
We touched the stairs lightly for a single moment, and he was on board and we were off again. He had a boat-cloak with him, and a black canvas bag, and he looked as like a river-pilot as my heart could have wished. `Dear boy!' he said, putting his arm on my shoulder as he took his seat. `Faithful dear boy, well done. Thankye, thankye!'
Again among the tiers of shipping, in and out, avoiding rusty chain-cables frayed hempen hawsers and bobbing buoys, sinking for the moment floating broken baskets, scattering floating chips of wood and shaving, cleaving floating scum of coal, in and out, under the figure-head of the John of Sunderland making a speech to the winds (as is done by many Johns), and the Betsy of Yarmouth with a firm formality of bosom and her nobby eyes starting two inches out of her head, in and out, hammers going in shipbuilders'yards, saws going at timber, clashing engines going at things unknown, pumps going in leaky ships, capstans going, ships going out to sea, and unintelligible sea-creatures roaring curses over the bulwarks at respondent lightermen, in and out - out at last upon the clearer river, where the ships' boys might take their fenders in, no longer fishing in troubled waters with them over the side, and where the festooned sails might fly out to the wind.
At the Stairs where we had taken him abroad, and ever since, I had looked warily for any token of our being suspected. I had seen none. We certainly had not been, and at that time as certainly we were not, either attended or followed by any boat. If we had been waited on by any boat, I should have run in to shore, and have obliged her to go on, or to make her purpose evident. But, we held our own, without any appearance of molestation.
He had his boat-cloak on him, and looked, as I have said, a natural part of the scene. It was remarkable (but perhaps the wretched life he had led, accounted for it), that he was the least anxious of any of us. He was no indifferent, for he told me that he hoped to live to see his gentleman one of the best of gentlemen in a foreign country; he was not disposed to be passive or resigned, as I understood it; but he had no notion of meeting danger half way. When it came upon him, he confronted it, but it must come before he troubled himself.
`If you knowed, dear boy,' he said to me, `what it is to sit here alonger my dear boy and have my smoke, arter having been day by day betwixt four walls, you'd envy me. But you don't know what it is.'
`I think I know the delights of freedom,' I answered.
`Ah,' said he, shaking his head gravely. `But you don't know it equal to me. You must have been under lock and key, dear boy, to know it equal to me - but I ain't a going to be low.'
It occurred to me as inconsistent, that for any mastering idea, he should have endangered his freedom and even his life. But I reflected that perhaps freedom without danger was too much apart from all the habit of his existence to be to him what it would be to another man. I was not far out, since he said, after smoking a little:
`You see, dear boy, when I was over yonder, t'other side the world, I was always a looking to this side; and it come flat to be there, for all I was a growing rich. Everybody knowed Magwitch, and Magwitch could come, and Magwitch could go, and nobody's head would be troubled about him. They ain't so easy concerning me here, dear boy - wouldn't be, leastwise, if they knowed where I was.'
`If all goes well,' said I, `you will be perfectly free and safe again, within a few hours.'
`Well,' he returned, drawing a long breath, `I hope so.'
`And think so?'
He dipped his hand in the water over the boat's gunwale, and said, smiling with that softened air upon him which was not new to me:
`Ay, I s'pose I think so, dear boy. We'd be puzzled to be more quiet and easy-going than we are at present. But - it's a flowing so soft and pleasant through the water, p'raps, as makes me think it - I was a thinking through my smoke just then, that we can no more see to the bottom of the next few hours, than we can see to the bottom of this river what I catches hold of. Nor yet we can't no more hold their tide than I can hold this. And it's run through my fingers and gone, you see!' holding up his dripping hand.
`But for your face, I should think you were a little despondent,' said I.
`Not a bit on it, dear boy! It comes of flowing on so quiet, and of that there rippling at the boat's head making a sort of a Sunday tune. Maybe I'm a growing a trifle old besides.'
He put his pipe back in his mouth with an undisturbed expression of face, and sat as composed and contented as if we were already out of England. Yet he was as submissive to a word of advice as if he had been in constant terror, for, when we ran ashore to get some bottles of beer into the boat, and he was stepping out, I hinted that I thought he would be safest where he was, and he said. `Do you, dear boy?' and quietly sat down again.
The air felt cold upon the river, but it was a bright day, and the sunshine was very cheering. The tide ran strong, I took care to lose none of it, and our steady stroke carried us on thoroughly well. By imperceptible degrees, as the tide ran out, we lost more and more of the nearer woods and hills, and dropped lower and lower between the muddy banks, but the tide was yet with us when we were off Gravesend. As our charge was wrapped in his cloak, I purposely passed within a boat or two's length of the floating Custom House, and so out to catch the stream, alongside of two emigrant ships, and under the bows of a large transport with troops on the forecastle looking down at us. And soon the tide began to slacken, and the craft lying at anchor to swing, and presently they had all swung round, and the ships that were taking advantage of the new tide to get up to the Pool, began to crowd upon us in a fleet, and we kept under the shore, as much out of the strength of the tide now as we could, standing carefully off from low shallows and mudbanks.
Our oarsmen were so fresh, by dint of having occasionally let her drive with the tide for a minute or two, that a quarter of an hour's rest proved full as much as they wanted. We got ashore among some slippery stones while we ate and drank what we had with us, and looked about. It was like my own marsh country, flat and monotonous, and with a dim horizon; while the winding river turned and turned, and the great floating buoys upon it turned and turned, and everything else seemed stranded and still. For, now, the last of the fleet of ships was round the last low point we had headed; and the last green barge, straw-laden, with a brown sail, had followed; and some ballast-lighters, shaped like a child's first rude imitation of a boat, lay low in the mud; and a little squat shoal-lighthouse on open piles, stood crippled in the mud on stilts and crutches; and slimy stakes stuck out of the mud, and slimy stones stuck out of the mud, and red landmarks and tidemarks stuck out of the mud, and an old landing-stage an old roofless building slipped into the mud, and all about us was stagnation and mud.
We pushed off again, and made what way we could. It was much harder work now, but Herbert and Startop persevered, and rowed, and rowed, and rowed, until the sun went down. By that time the river has lifted us a little, so that we could see above the bank. There was the red sun, on the low level of the shore, in a purple haze, fast deepening into black; and there was the solitary flat marsh; and far away there were the rising grounds, between which and us there seemed to be no life, save here and there in the foreground a melancholy gull.
As the night was fast falling, and as the moon, being past the full, would not rise early, we held a little council: a short one, for clearly our course was to lie by at the first lonely tavern we could find. So, they plied their oars once more, and I looked out for anything like a house. Thus we held on, speaking little, for four or five dull miles. It was very cold, and, a collier coming by us, with her galley-fire smoking and flaring, looked like a comfortable home. The night was as dark by this time as it would be until morning; and what light we had, seemed to come more from the river than the sky, as the oars in their dipping struck as a few reflected stars. At this dismal time we were evidently all possessed by the idea that we were followed. As the tide made, it flapped heavily at irregular intervals against the shore; and whenever such a sound came, one or other of us was sure to start and look in that direction. Here and there, the set of the current had worn down the bank into a little creek, and we were all suspicious of such places, and eyed them nervously. Sometimes, `What was that ripple?' one of us would say in a low voice. Or another, `Is that a boat yonder?' And afterwards, we would fall into a dead silence, and I would sit impatiently thinking with what an unusual amount of noise the oars worked in the thowels.
At length we descried a light and a roof, and presently afterwards ran alongside a little causeway made of stones that had been picked up hard by. Leaving the rest in the boat, I stepped ashore, and found the light to be in a window of a public-house. It was a dirty place enough, and I dare say not unknown to smuggling adventurers; but there was a good fire in the kitchen, and there were eggs and bacon to eat, and various liquors to drink. Also, there were two double-bedded rooms - `such as they were,' the landlord said. No other company was in the house than the landlord, his wife, and a grizzled male creature, the `Jack' of the little causeway, who was as slimy and smeary as if he had been low-water mark too.
With this assistant, I went down to the boat again, and we all came ashore, and brought out the oars, and rudder, and boat-hook, and all else, and hauled her up for the night. We made a very good meal by the kitchen fire, and then apportioned the bedrooms: Herbert and Startop were to occupy one; I and our charge the other. We found the air as carefully excluded from both, as if air were fatal to life; and there were more dirty clothes and bandboxes under the beds than I should have thought the family possessed. But, we considered ourselves well off, notwithstanding, for a more solitary place we could not have found.
While we were comforting ourselves by the fire after our meal, the Jack - who was sitting in a corner, and who had a bloated pair of shoes on, which he had exhibited while we were eating our eggs and bacon, as interesting relics that he had taken a few days ago from the feet of a drowned seaman washed ashore - asked me if we had seen a four-oared galley going up with the tide? When I told him No, he said she must have gone down then, and yet she `took up too,' when she left there.
`They must ha' thought better on't for some reason or another,' said the Jack, `and gone down.'
`A four-oared galley, did you say?' said I.
`A four,' said the Jack, `and two sitters.'
`Did they come ashore here?'
`They put in with a stone two-gallon jar, for some beer. I'd ha'been glad to pison the beer myself,' said the Jack, `or put some rattling physic in it.'
`Why?'
`I know why,' said the Jack. He spoke in a slushy voice, as if much mud had washed into his throat.
`He thinks,' said the landlord: a weakly meditative man with a pale eye, who seemed to rely greatly on his Jack: `he thinks they was, what they wasn't.'
`I knows what I thinks,' observed the Jack.
`You thinks Custum 'Us, Jack?' said the landlord.
`I do,' said the Jack.
`Then you're wrong, Jack.'
`AMI!'
In the infinite meaning of his reply and his boundless confidence in his views, the Jack took one of his bloated shoes off, looked into it, knocked a few stones out of it on the kitchen floor, and put it on again. He did this with the air of a Jack who was so right that he could afford to do anything.
`Why, what do you make out that they done with their buttons then, Jack?' asked the landlord, vacillating weakly.
`Done with their buttons?' returned the Jack. `Chucked 'em overboard. Swallered 'em. Sowed 'em, to come up small salad. Done with their buttons!'
`Don't be cheeky, Jack,' remonstrated the landlord, in a melancholy and pathetic way.
`A Custum 'Us officer knows what to do with his Buttons,' said the Jack, repeating the obnoxious word with the greatest contempt, `when they comes betwixt him and his own light. A Four and two sitters don't go hanging and hovering, up with one tide and down with another, and both with and against another, without there being Custum 'Us at the bottom of it.' Saying which he went out in disdain; and the landlord, having no one to reply upon, found it impracticable to pursue the subject.
This dialogue made us all uneasy, and me very uneasy. The dismal wind was muttering round the house, the tide was flapping at the shore, and I had a feeling that we were caged and threatened. A four-oared galley hovering about in so unusual a way as to attract this notice, was an ugly circumstance that I could not get rid of. When I had induced Provis to go up to bed, I went outside with my two companions (Starlop by this time knew the state of the case), and held another council. Whether we should remain at the house until near the steamer's time, which would be about one in the afternoon; or whether we should put off early in the morning; was the question we discussed. On the whole we deemed it the better course to lie where we were, until within an hour or so of the steamer's time, and then to get out in her track, and drift easily with the tide. Having settled to do this, we returned into the house and went to bed.
I lay down with the greater part of my clothes on, and slept well for a few hours. When I awoke, the wind had risen, and the sign of the house (the Ship) was creaking and banging about, with noises that startled me. Rising softly, for my charge lay fast asleep, I looked out of the window. It commanded the causeway where we had hauled up our boat, and, as my eyes adapted themselves to the light of the clouded moon, I saw two men looking into her. They passed by under the window, looking at nothing else, and they did not go down to the landing-place which I could discern to be empty, but struck across the marsh in the direction of the Nore.
My first impulse was to call up Herbert, and show him the two men going away. But, reflecting before I got into his room, which was at the back of the house and adjoined mine, that he and Startop had had a harder day than I, and were fatigued, I forbore. Going back to my window, I could see the two men moving over the marsh. In that light, however, I soon lost them, and feeling very cold, lay down to think of the matter, and fell asleep again.
We were up early. As we walked to and fro, all four together, before breakfast, I deemed it right to recount what I had seen. Again our charge was the least anxious of the party. It was very likely that the men belonged to the Custom House, he said quietly, and that they had no thought of us. I tried to persuade myself that it was so - as, indeed, it might easily be. However, I proposed that he and I should walk away together to a distant point we could see, and that the boat should take us aborad there, or as near there as might prove feasible, at about noon. This being considered a good precaution, soon after breakfast he and I set forth, without saying anything at the tavern.
He smoked his pipe as we went along, and sometimes stopped to clap me on the shoulder. One would have supposed that it was I who was in danger, not he, and that he was reassuring me. We spoke very little. As we approached the point, I begged him to remain in a sheltered place, while I went on to reconnoitre; for, it was towards it that the men had passed in the night. He complied, and I went on alone. There was no boat off the point, nor any boat drawn up anywhere near it, nor were there any signs of the men having embarked there. But, to be sure the tide was high, and there might have been some footpints under water.
When he looked out from his shelter in the distance, and saw that I waved my hat to him to come up, he rejoined me, and there we waited; sometimes lying on the bank wrapped in our coats, and sometimes moving about to warm ourselves: until we saw our boat coming round. We got aborad easily, and rowed out into the track of the steamer. By that time it wanted but ten minutes of one o'clock, and we began to look out for her smoke.
But, it was half-past one before we saw her smoke, and soon afterwards we saw behind it the smoke of another steamer. As they were coming on at full speed, we got the two bags ready, and took that opportunity of saying good-bye to Herbert and Startop. We had all shaken hands cordially, and neither Herbert's eyes nor mine were quite dry, when I saw a four-oared galley shoot out from under the bank but a little way ahead of us, and row out into the same track.
A stretch of shore had been as yet between us and the steamer's smoke, by reason of the bend and wind of the river; but now she was visible, coming head on. I called to Herbert and Startop to keep before the tide, that she might see us lying by for her, and I adjured Provis to sit quite still, wrapped in his cloak. He answered cheerily, `Trust to me, dear boy,' and sat like a statue. Meantime the galley, which was very skilfully handled, had crossed us, let us come up with her, and fallen alongside. Leaving just room enough for the play of the oars, she kept alongside, drifting when we drifted, and pulling a stroke or two when we pulled. Of the two sitters one held the rudder lines, and looked at us attentively - as did all the rowers; the other sitter was wrapped up, much as Provis was, and seemed to shrink, and whisper some instruction to the steerer as he looked at us. Not a word was spoken in either boat.
Startop could make out, after a few minutes, which steamer was first, and gave me the word `Hamburg,' in a low voice as we sat face to face. She was nearing us very fast, and the beating of her peddles grew louder and louder. I felt as if her shadow were absolutely upon us, when the galley hailed us. I answered.
`You have a returned Transport there,' said the man who held the lines. `That's the man, wrapped in the cloak. His name is Abel Magwitch, otherwise Provis. I apprehend that man, and call upon him to surrender, and you to assist.'
At the same moment, without giving any audible direction to his crew, he ran the galley abroad of us. They had pulled one sudden stroke ahead, had got their oars in, had run athwart us, and were holding on to our gunwale, before we knew what they were doing. This caused great confusion on board the steamer, and I heard them calling to us, and heard the order given to stop the paddles, and heard them stop, but felt her driving down upon us irresistibly. In the same moment, I saw the steersman of the galley lay his hand on his prisoner's shoulder, and saw that both boats were swinging round with the force of the tide, and saw that all hands on board the steamer were running forward quite frantically. Still in the same moment, I saw the prisoner start up, lean across his captor, and pull the cloak from the neck of the shrinking sitter in the galley. Still in the same moment, I saw that the face disclosed, was the face of the other convict of long ago. Still in the same moment, I saw the face tilt backward with a white terror on it that I shall never forget, and heard a great cry on board the steamer and a loud splash in the water, and felt the boat sink from under me.
It was but for an instant that I seemed to struggle with a thousand mill-weirs and a thousand flashes of light; that instant past, I was taken on board the galley. Herbert was there, and Startop was there; but our boat was gone, and the two convicts were gone.
What with the cries abroad the steamer, and the furious blowing off of her steam, and her driving on, and our driving on, I could not at first distinguish sky from water or shore from shore; but, the crew of the galley righted her with great speed, and, pulling certain swift strong strokes ahead, lay upon their oars, every man looking silently and eagerly at the water astern. Presently a dark object was seen in it, bearing towards us on the tide. No man spoke, but the steersman held up his hand, and all softly backed water, and kept the boat straight and true before it. As it came nearer, I saw it to be Magwitch, swimming, but not swimming freely. He was taken on board, and instantly manacled at the wrists and ankles.
The galley was kept steady, and the silent eager look-out at the water was resumed. But, the Rotterdam steamer now came up, and apparently not understanding what had happened, came on at speed. By the time she had been hailed and stopped, both steamers were drifting away from us, and we were rising and falling in a troubled wake of water. The look-out was kept, long after all was still again and the two steamers were gone; but, everybody knew that it was hopeless now.
At length we gave it up, and pulled under the shore towards the tavern we had lately left, where we were received with no little surprise. Here, I was able to get some comforts for Magwitch - Provis no longer - who had received some very severe injury in the chest and a deep cut in the head.
He told me that he believed himself to have gone under the keel of the steamer, and to have been struck on the head in rising. The injury to his chest (which rendered his breathing extremely painful) he thought he had received against the side of the galley. He added that he did not pretend to say what he might or might not have done to Compeyson, but, that in the moment of his laying his hand on his cloak to identify him, that villain had staggered up and staggered back, and they had both gone overboard together; when the sudden wrenching of him (Magwitch) out of our boat, and the endeavour of his captor to keep him in it, had capsized us. He told me in a whisper that they had gone down, fiercely locked in each other's arms, and that there had been a struggle under water, and that he had disengaged himself, struck out, and swum away.
I never had any reason to doubt the exact truth of what he thus told me. The officer who steered the galley gave the same account of their going overboard.
When I asked this officer's permission to change the prisoner's wet clothes by purchasing any spare garments I could get at the public-house, he gave it readily: merely observing that he must take charge of everything his prisoner had about him. So the pocketbook which had once been in my hands, passed into the officer's. He further gave me leave to accompany the prisoner to London; but, declined to accord that grace to my two friends.
The Jack at the Ship was instructed where the drowned man had gone down, and undertook to search for the body in the places where it was likeliest to come ashore. His interest in its recovery seemed to me to be much heightened when he heard that it had stockings on. Probably, it took about a dozen drowned men to fit him out completely; and that may have been the reason why the different articles of his dress were in various stages of decay.
We remained at the public-house until the tide turned, and then Magwitch was carried down to the galley and put on board. Herbert and Startop were to get to London by land, as soon as they could. We had a doleful parting, and when I took my place by Magwitch's side, I felt that that was my place henceforth while he lived.
For now, my repugnance to him had all melted away, and in the hunted wounded shackled creature who held my hand in his, I only saw a man who had meant to be my benefactor, and who had felt affectionately, gratefully, and generously, towards me with great constancy through a series of years. I only saw in him a much better man than I had been to Joe.
His breathing became more difficult and painful as the night drew on, and often he could not repress a groan. I tried to rest him on the arm I could use, in any easy position; but, it was dreadful to think that I could not be sorry at heart for his being badly hurt, since it was unquestionably best that he should die. That there were, still living, people enough who were able and willing to identify him, I could not doubt. That he would be leniently treated, I could not hope. He who had been presented in the worst light at his trial, who had since broken prison and had been tried again, who had returned from transportation under a life sentence, and who had occasioned the death of the man who was the cause of his arrest.
As we returned towards the setting sun we had yesterday left behind us, and as the stream of our hopes seemed all running back, I told him how grieved I was to think that he had come home for my sake.
`Dear boy,' he answered, `I'm quite content to take my chance. I've seen my boy, and he can be a gentleman without me.'
No. I had thought about that, while we had been there side by side. No. Apart from any inclinations of my own, I understood Wemmick's hint now. I foresaw that, being convicted, his possessions would be forfeited to the Crown.
`Lookee here, dear boy,' said he `It's best as a gentleman should not be knowed to belong to me now. Only come to see me as if you come by chance alonger Wemmick. Sit where I can see you when I am swore to, for the last o' many times, and I don't ask no more.'
`I will never stir from your side,' said I, `when I am suffered to be near you. Please God, I will be as true to you, as you have been to me!'
I felt his hand tremble as it held mine, and he turned his face away as he lay in the bottom of the boat, and I heard that old sound in his throat - softened now, like all the rest of him. It was a good thing that he had touched this point, for it put into my mind what I might not otherwise have thought of until too late: That he need never know how his hopes of enriching me had perished.
 
这是三月份的一天，太阳当空照着十分温暖，风吹起时却又寒气袭人：在阳光下已经是夏季，而在背阴之处还是冬天。我们穿上厚呢大衣，我还带上一个包，包里装的是我日常需要的几件东西，其他的东西一件也未带。我究竟此去何方，去干何事，何日归来，这一连串的问题对我说来全然无知；我根本不会想这些问题，或者用它们来苦恼自己，我心中的念头只有一个，就是普鲁威斯的安全。从住宅出来，心中不免有些怅惘，于是站在门口回首观望，即使来日我还能看到这些屋子，恐怕也全都会变样。我们在去往寺区石埠的路上悠闲地踱着，逛着，有时悠闲地站上一会儿，装出若无其事，根本没有准备下水的神态。当然，我事先做了细心的安排，船只已准备妥当，万事皆备，只等上船。当时那里除了两三个寺区一带的水手外，谁都没有看见我们，于是我们略微犹豫一番，便跳上船，解索离去。赫伯特划桨，我掌舵。这时正是八点半钟，是即将满潮达到高水位的时刻。
我们的计划是，等九点潮水满盈后开始退潮时，我们的小船便顺水而下，直到当日下午三时后潮水改向，我们的小船继续缓缓逆流而上，可以一直划到天黑。那时我们早已划过肯特和艾塞克斯之间的格里夫森好长一段路程了。那里河面宽阔，人来人往稀少，是一个幽静所在，河边居民只有三两家，单门独户的小酒店、船行随处可见。我们可以停泊上岸挑选一家吃饭休息，并可以在那里过夜。无论是开往汉堡的轮船或是开往鹿特丹的轮船都会在星期四上午九时从伦敦驶出。我们根据我们小船停泊的地点推算出它们来到的时间。哪一条船先到便先招呼哪一条船，万一由于种种原因上不了第一条船，我们尚有第二次机会。好在我们对每一条船的特征记号全都熟记无误。
终于我们开始执行计划了，心情从沉闷中舒展开来，我不禁感到这是多么有意义的事情，而且几小时之前的怅们情绪再也不见了。空气清新爽快，阳光温暖，小船在水上轻驶而过，河水在阳光下泛着涟漪，整条水路似乎对我们充满了同情，使我们内心充满生机，鼓励我们一往直前，使我们充满新的希望。而我自己却感到有些屈辱，在这次行程中我的用处不大，然而我的这两位朋友却是难得的优秀桨手，他们即使终日划桨击水，也自会从容不迫，没有倦意。
在那个时代，泰晤士河的水上交通远远比不上今天，不过船夫们划的小船和今天倒也不相上下。至于驳船、运煤帆船、沿海航班这类船只不比今天的少，但是要说大大小小的蒸汽船，还不到今天的十分之一或二十分之一。这天，虽然天时尚早，已经有许多短桨舢板在水上川流不息，另外还有许多驳船也顺流而下。在那些年头驾一条敞篷小舟行驶于泰晤士河的桥与桥之间，比起这些年来更加容易，也更加普遍。所以，我们轻快地驾舟行驶于各种轻舟渡船之间。
很快就经过了老伦敦桥，接着是毕林斯门鱼市场，这里都是牡蛎船和荷兰人的船，然后就是白塔楼和叛徒门，我们穿行于密密麻麻的船只之间。这里有各式各样的蒸汽船，有开往利思的，开往阿伯丁的，也有开往格拉斯哥的，有装货的，也有卸货的。我们划过这些船只时，看到它们一艘艘犹似巨人高耸在水面之上。接着又出现了许多装煤船，每当煤从舱里吊起来时，装卸工人都奔向甲板以保持船的平衡，然后煤块便哗啦啦地倒进了驳船。接着我们看到了停泊在这里的明天驶往鹿特丹的蒸汽轮船，对它看了又看；然后又是一艘明天开往汉堡的蒸汽轮船，我们正从它下面的牙樯旁驶过。这时我正坐在船尾，磨坊河滨及磨坊河滨的石码头已在眼前，而我的心也怦怦地乱跳起来。
“他在那里吗？”赫伯特问道。
“还没有呢。”
“太棒了！他不看到我们是不会来到河畔的。你看到他的信号了吗？”
“这里看不清楚；不过，我看到了。现在我看到他了！你们两人快划。赫伯特，放松一些。停下！”
小船轻轻地一靠石码头，一眨眼功夫，他便跳到了船上，我们划船继续向前。他身上穿着水手斗篷，手上拎了一只黑色帆布包，看上去像是一名水上领航人，这正是我所希望的样子，因而心头很满意。
“亲爱的孩子！”他一坐好，便伸手拍拍我的肩头说道，“诚实的好孩子，你做得很好，谢谢你，谢谢你！”
我们的小船又穿行于密密麻麻的船只之间，避开生了锈的铁锚链，磨损的粗麻绳，以及上下起伏的浮标。我们划到哪里，哪里的破篮子破篓子便随着一时沉入水底，浮在水面的木片儿刨花儿也都被冲得四散逃奔，漂在水上的煤渣煤屑也分成两行。我们的小舟穿行于河上，在这里我们经过一艘船，船头是桑德兰的约翰的头像，正张大嘴巴对着风演说，和其他的许多约翰一样；在那里我们又经过一艘船，船头是雅茅斯的佩茜的头像，胸脯轮廓结实，圆眼珠从眼窝子里突出两英寸。我们的小舟穿行于河上，船厂中传来铁锤的敲打声，锯子的锯木声，不知正在干什么名堂的机器声，漏船中的抽水声，绞盘的起锚声，船只的出海声，还有海上营生的人们和轻舟的水手们隔船的对骂声，但骂的是什么，却难以理解。我们的小舟穿行于河上，直至河水忽然清澈一片。船夫们纷纷取下护船板，再不需要它们来混水摸鱼，这里各种花色的彩帆在风中都各显能力。
自我们在石码头接他上船之后，我一直保持警惕，注意着我们是否受到怀疑。我发现我们没有受到怀疑，任何受怀疑的迹象都没有。无论是刚才还是现在，我们肯定这条小船既没有被别的船跟踪，也没有被监视。如果我发现有船跟着我们，我们就会向岸边靠去，逼着它驶到前面去，如果它不向前驶去，它的目的便暴露无遗。不过，我们的小舟总是一往直前，没有发生任何干扰。
他身上穿着水手斗篷，我刚才就说过，这个样子和这个环境很相称。在我们这几个人当中他是最无忧无虑的，这可谓是怪事，也许因为他已经过惯了这种倒霉与不幸的生活。当然这并不表明他对自己漠不关心、麻木不仁，因为他告诉过我，他希望活着看到他培养起来的上流社会的人，在外国也算是出类拔萃的绅士。在我看来，他天生不是个被动的人，也不是听天由命的人；但是他不会注意到中途遇到的危险。他的性格是危险来了，就面对危险；既然危险没有到，也没有必要先苦恼自己。
“亲爱的孩子，”他对我说道，“今天我可以坐在我亲爱的孩子身边抽烟了。这之前，我只能一天接一天地坐在四面墙之间，你要是能懂得我此时此刻的心情，你一定会羡慕我。可是你不会懂的。”
“我想我懂得自由的乐趣。”我答道。
“噢，”他严肃地摇着头说道，“不过，即使你懂，你也不会像我懂得那么深刻。你没有被关过，没有被锁过，亲爱的孩子，你怎么能懂得与我一般深呢。不过，我今后再不想走下贱的路了。”
听了他的话我忽然想到，他不至于再违背自己所说的话，危及自己的自由，甚至对自己的生命造成危险。但是我又想到，也许他的自由是指具有危险性的自由吧，这才符合他个人的存在习惯，这和其他人们的理解不同。我的这一想法不是异想天开，因为他抽了一会儿烟后说道：
“你明白吗，亲爱的孩子，我生活在那里时，也就是生活在异国时，我的眼睛总是盯着这边望；我在那里发财成了富翁，却又感到日子很平庸。在那里，谁都认识马格韦契，马格韦契来，马格韦契去，谁也不管，谁也不来找麻烦。而这里的人对我就不会那么放心了，亲爱的孩子，至少可以这么说，他们只要知道我在这里，他们就不会那么放心了。”
“如果一切平安无事，”我说道，“只消几个小时，你就又会得到完全的自由和完全的平安。”
“唔，”他吸了一口长气，答道，“但愿如此。”
“难道你不这样想吗？”
他把手伸到船外，伸进水中，然后微笑着，脸上出现了温和的神采，像过去一样，温和地说道：
“唉，我想你说得也对，亲爱的孩子。但现在我们是如此的平安无事，如此的自由自在，而更加的平安无事和更加的自由自在会令我们困惑。小船在河上荡着多么令人舒适，多么令人愉快，也许正是这种情况才使我这样想吧。刚才我一面抽烟一面思索，几个小时之后究竟会怎么样，谁知道呢？你看，我用手可以把水捧起来，可是捧起水也看不到河底的情况。你看我捧起水，水也会从我手指间流去，同样我们也无法把握住时间。”说着他举起浸在水中的手。
“要不是看到你面孔上的表情，我还以为你失去信心了。”我说道。
“我一点也没有失去信心，亲爱的孩子！看小船平静地在河上行驶，浪花冲撞着船头发出的声音真好像和拜天唱的圣歌。此外，说不定我年纪也大了些了。”
他把烟斗放回到自己嘴里，面部表情十分安详。他坐在那里一副从容平和、心情满足的姿态，仿佛我们已出了英国一样。他对我们提出的每一句劝告都很顺从，好像他的内心一直惶恐不安，提心吊胆。比如我们跑上岸去买几瓶啤酒收在船上备用时，他也跨步出船想和我们一起去，我便向他暗示他还是留在船上安全，他便对我说：“亲爱的孩子，是这样吗？”于是又安静地坐了下来。
河上的空气尚有寒意，而天气却十分明朗，阳光和煦，令人愉快。潮水势头很猛，我们抓紧时机驾舟而下，双桨击水又稳又快地行驶于河上。接着潮水的势头减弱，在不知不觉中岸边的树林和小山越来越少，而淤泥越来越多，水位也逐渐低了下去。当小船驶出格里夫森时，我们仍然在顺水而下。因为我们所保护的人裹着一件斗篷，我们也便故意把船驶向那艘海关的船，和它仅隔一两条船，这样便易于抓住顺水的机会赶路。我们沿着两条移民船船身而过，驶到一艘大型运输船的船头下面，轮船的前甲板上站着军队，他们都向下看着我们。没有一会儿，潮水的势头就下去了，停泊在那儿的船只摇晃起来，接着便都掉转船头，乘水流的回潮之势开始驶往蒲耳地区，于是成群的船只像舰队一样迎头而来，我们不得不驶往岸边，傍岸而行。一方面我们要避开潮水对我们的冲击，另一方面还要十分仔细地不至于在浅水的地方和淤泥的岸边搁浅。
我们的两位桨手现在是兴致勃勃，因为一路之上都是顺水而下，他们不时地可以休息一两分钟。此时他们只要休息一刻钟就感到足够了。我们下船上岸，坐在滑溜溜的石头上。我们随身带了所准备的食品和酒，又吃又喝，并且观赏四周河山。这里多像我家乡的那一片沼泽地啊，地势平坦，景色单调，远远的地平线幽暗朦胧，河流蜿蜒弯曲，迂回而流，河上漂摇的浮标也蜿蜒弯曲，迂回而动，此外，其余的一切都好像静止的一样搁浅在那里。此时，那最后的一队船只也已经转进了我们刚才来时的那处转角，消失了；紧紧跟在后面的那条绿色的船只，满装着干草，抖动着棕色的帆，也在转角处消失。有几条装砂石的小船陷在淤泥之中，这些船的形状就像小孩子们所做的粗笨船模一样。有一座很小的沙滩灯塔，在那敞开的石堆上，就像一个脚踩高跷、手扶拐杖的瘤子一样，满身泥泞的标桩插在淤泥之中，满身泥泞的怪石陷在淤泥之中，红色的路标和红色的潮标也站在淤泥之中，一座破旧的浮码头和一所破得连屋顶也没有的房子也快要滑进淤泥了。总之，我们四周的一切都是停滞的，都是淤泥。
我们重新登船，离岸而去，尽力划向前方。现在逆水行舟，倍加困难，幸亏赫伯特和斯塔特普坚持不懈，划啊，划啊，划啊，一直划到太阳向西下沉。这时河水上涨，小船升高，可以浏览岸上风光了。在河岸低低的水平线上，一轮红日正衬托在一片紫色的晚霞之中，迅速地使时光进入暮色。岸上是一片沼泽地，孤寂而单调；远处是隆起的高地，荒寂得寥无人烟；偶然地会在我们面前飞起一只水鸟，也显得凄凉忧愁。
黑夜的帷幕迅速降临，刚过满月的月亮当然是姗姗来迟。我们简单地商量了一下，很快便取得一致。显而易见，在我们前面的行程中，只要发现第一个荒凉寂寞的小酒店，我们就要上岸投宿。于是，他们两人又一次奋划双桨，而我却观看岸上，看是否能找到一处房屋。我们奋力往前，言语很少，沉闷地前行了大约四五英里路。这里寒气袭人，一艘运煤船从我们船边经过，船只的厨房中正生火烧饭，烟雾四射，火光闪跃，整条船看上去就像一座舒坦的宅第。此时夜色一片漆黑，而且在明天早晨降临之前不会改变，如果说尚有一些微亮，那不是来自天空，而是来自河上，是船桨在水里击起的几颗星光倒影。
在这凄凉孤寂的时刻，我们心中都明显地有一个念头，即我们正被跟踪着。潮水在上涨着，不时地但无规则地猛击着河岸。只要一听到潮水拍岸的声音，我们中的这一个人或那一个人便会被惊动，从而转眼向发声的地方望去。由于河水的冲击，河岸边出现了一些被水冲击而形成的小港湾，凡是这些地方我们都觉得可疑，心情紧张地望着这类港湾。有时一个人会问：“那水波的声音是什么？”声音问得很低。另一个人会答道：“那边是一条小船吧！”然后，我们大家都无言了，沉人一片静寂。我不耐烦地坐着并思虑着，怎么这两只桨在划水时会发出如此大的声音。
终于我们看到了一线灯光和一间屋子，立刻把船沿着堤岸划过去。这条河堤是用附近的石头堆砌而成的。其余三人留在船上，我一人踏到岸上，才发现这灯光是从一间小酒店的窗户射出来的。这地方真是够脏的了，但我敢打赌，对于那些走私冒险的人来说，这里却是个好地方。小酒店厨房中生着温暖的火，吃的东西有鸡蛋、火腿，喝的东西有各种美酒，店里还备有两个双人房间。店主说：“就只有这些了。”这里没有别的客人在场，只有店主、店主的妻子，和一位头发已白的老年人，他在这座小石堤上干打杂的活儿，全身泥泞不堪，好像他就是一根水标，刚才还浸泡在水里呢。
我带了这位打杂的帮手又回到了船上，让大家都离船登岸，同时把船上的桨、舵以及撑篙都拿出来，把船拉拖到岸上，准备在这里过夜。我们先在厨房的炉火边美美地吃了一餐，然后我们四人分住两间卧室。赫伯特和斯塔特普两人住一间，我和我所保护的人住在另一间。这两间屋子都弄得严严实实，密不通风，好像只要通一点风就会对生命有危险一样。我们还发现在床下面有许多脏衣服和装鞋帽的纸盒，我想不通这一家小旅社怎么会有这么多的鞋帽。但不管怎样我们都认为这里挺不错的，到哪里也难找到这么一个清静保险的地方。
晚餐过后，我们舒舒服服地在炉边烤火，那位打杂的正坐在一个角落里，脚上穿了一双肥大的靴子。我们还在吃着鸡蛋和火腿时他就向我们展示过这古董了，他告诉我们几天之前有一个淹死了的海员尸体被冲到岸边，他就从尸体上脱下了这双靴子。这时他问我是否看到过有一艘四人划的小船顺潮水而下。我告诉他没有见到，他说这条船一定是驶往下游了，但这船离开这里时是顺水而上的。
这位打杂的说：“那几个人定有什么原因，把船驶往下游了。”
“你说的是一条有四只桨的小船吗？”我说道。
“有四个人划船，两个人乘船。”打杂的答道。
“他们在这里上岸的吗？”
“他们带了个能装两加仑酒的瓦罐进来买啤酒。我真想在啤酒中给他们放上毒药，”打杂的说道，“或者放点什么使他们肚子咕咕叫的泻药。”
“为什么呢？”
“我当然有理由，”打杂的说道。他说得也是泥泞般糊涂，就好像泥浆灌进了他的喉咙管里一样。
“他以为，”店主人说道，这是个身体孱弱而善于思考的人，一对眼睛暗淡无光，看来各方面都得依赖这个打杂的，“他以为他们是那种人，其实看错了。”
“我知道我没有看错人。”打杂的答道。
“喂，你说他们是海关上来的人吗？”店主人问道。
“当然。”打杂的答道。
“伙计，那你可错了。”
“我会错？”
他的这声回答蕴涵了无限的深意，其中他对自己的见解又是无限的自信。这位打杂的脱下一只肥大的靴子，向靴子里望了一下，敲出几粒石子，掉在厨房的地上，然后又把靴子穿上。他这番动作表现出一个真正打杂人的神气，无论打什么赌，他总是对的。
“那么，伙计，他们身上的铜钮扣到哪去了，你又作何解释呢？”这位店主人踌躇不定、软弱地问道。
“铜钮扣到哪儿去了？”打杂的答道，“从船上扔到水里去了，吞到肚子里去了，种到地里去了，还会生出小钮扣来。你说钮扣到哪里去了！”
“伙计，不要这么不要脸皮。”店主人一脸的不高兴，可怜地规劝道。
“海关上当官的人，”这打杂的人说道，“发现身上的铜钮扣和他们干的事不相称时，他们知道该怎么办。”他用最轻蔑的口吻又提到铜钮扣几个字，“一艘四桨小船，还乘了两个人，他们如果不是海关上来的，他们会在这里划来划去吗？一会儿顺潮水而下，一会儿又逆潮水而上；一会儿顺水去，一会儿逆水来。”说完他便一脸的轻视离开了。店主人也自感没趣，没有人来相帮，再谈这个问题也就没有意思了。
他们的这一番对话弄得我们大家都惶惶不安，而我更加感到不安。阴郁凄凉的风在屋外转来转去，潮水哗啦啦地拍着河岸，我心中暗想到，我们身人鸟笼，危机四伏了。一艘四桨的小船会不寻常地出没于此地，而且引起了这里人们如此的注意，这不得不使我想到情况的微妙。于是我把普鲁威斯送进房中休息，然后回到外间同我的两位伙伴商议。这时斯塔特普也已了解了事情的真相。我们讨论着究竟是应该留在这里，一直等到明天下午一点，轮船快到这里的时候再出发，还是明天一早就离开此地。结果我们认为，从总的看，还是留在这里为佳，一直等到轮船抵达这里前的一小时左右，我们再出外把小船划到轮船的航线上，然后慢悠悠地在潮水上荡着，等轮船来到。我们作出了这个决定之后，便回到房中各自睡觉。
我穿着几乎大部分的衣服入睡，睡了几个小时的好觉。一觉醒来，听到屋外的风声顿起，写有《轮船之家》的这小店的招牌被风吹得吱吱嘎嘎摇晃、砰砰乱撞，令我惊觉。于是我轻手轻脚地起身，不至于吵醒正在熟睡中的被保护人，走到窗口向外望去。一眼望去，正对着我们把船拖上岸的那个石堤，等我的眼睛慢慢适应那透过乌云发出的朦胧月光后，我看到有两个人正注视着小船，然后他们从窗下走过，再没有注视什么，更没有去到那座石码头，因为我看到那里什么人也没有。他们穿过沼泽地，直向诺尔的方向走去。
我立刻冲动起来，就想唤醒赫伯特，把这两个人的行踪告诉他。但是，就在要走进他的房间时我转而一想，虽然他住在后房，就在我住的房间的隔壁，而他和斯塔特普整天劳累，比我出的劳力大，一定很疲倦了，还是不要吵醒他。我回到我住的房间的窗口，看到那两个人还在沼泽地上行走着，然而，由于月色暗淡朦胧，很快便看不见了。这时我感到夜气寒冷，于是重又返回床上，躺下后对这件事慎重地恩考着，不久重又进入梦乡。
次日一早我们便起身。早饭之前，我们四个人一起出外散步，我认为我应该把夜里所见如实相告。他们听后，我的被保护人还是唯一一个最不感到忧愁的人。在他看来，这两个人完全可能是海关人员，他平静地认为，这两个人和我们之间毫无关系。我也尽量使自己如此去想，确实也就宽慰不少。尽管如此，我还是建议，他和我两个人一起先步行到一处远远可见的地点，然后小船再划过来接我们上船，或者在靠近那里的某个地方，总之，这一切要在中午时完成。无疑，这种做法是颇为慎重的。我们对一切防备措施作了讨论，早饭后，他和我便出发了。我们在小酒店里再没有谈任何事。
我们沿河而行，一路上他抽着烟斗，有时又停下来拍拍我的肩膀。在别人看来，好像现在处于危险的是我，而不是他，是他在安慰我，要我放心。我们很少讲话。我们靠近那里时，我要求他先在一个隐蔽的地方躲起来，我则去前面探察一下，因为昨天晚上那两个人就是向着这个方向去的。他同意我的看法，留了下来，我便一人独自前往。我到了那里，发现这里不像有船下过水，也不像有船被拉上来过，附近没有留下什么样痕迹表明那两个人在这里上过船。不过，说实在话，现在潮水已涨得很高，也许那些诸如脚印的痕迹已经被河水淹没了。
远远地，他从所隐蔽的地方伸出头来张望，我向着他挥动帽子，示意他可以走过来，于是他过来和我一起，我们在那里等着。有时我们裹着大衣躺在河岸边，有时又起来走动走动，以此来暖和暖和身体，一直等到我们的小船划来。船一到，我们便轻松自如地上了船，小船也便划到了轮船的航线上。这时候，离下午一时只有十分钟了，我们盼望着能见到轮船喷出的烟雾。
我们一直等到一点半钟才看到轮船喷出的烟雾，而且在这艘轮船的后面还有另外一艘轮船，它们都开足了马力全速向我们驶来。我们两人准备好了两只包裹，正在抓紧机会和赫伯特及斯塔特普道别。我们真心诚意地握着手，赫伯特及我的眼睛一直在流着泪。说时迟，那时快，就在这当口，有一艘四桨小船似箭般地从离我们不远的岸边射出，直向同一处航线驶来。
由于河道弯弯曲曲，刚才在我们和轮船喷出的烟雾之间有一处河岸隔着，而现在轮船已出现在我们面前。我招呼赫伯特和斯塔特普让船停在潮水前面，这样轮船上的人就会看到我们正在等着轮船；我又让普鲁威斯安静地坐在船上，裹住他的斗篷，不必着急。他心情愉快地答道：“亲爱的孩子，你尽管放心吧。”他坐在那里就像一尊石雕。这时那艘四桨小船熟练地包抄到了我们前面，和我们的小船并排而行，两船之间所隔的空间仅可划桨。它紧紧地靠拢我们的船，我们停桨荡船，他们也停桨荡船，我们划一两桨，他们也划一两桨。那艘船上坐着的两个人，有一个正掌着舵，眼睛紧紧地盯住我们望，另外四个桨手也紧紧地盯住我们望。另外一个坐着的人也像普鲁威斯一样，把自己裹得严严实实，而且全身哆嗦着。他对舵手低语了几句，又对我们望了几眼。两条船上的人都没有说一个字。
我和斯塔特普面对面坐着，他不到几分钟便弄清楚第一条轮船是哪一艘了，他用低低的声音对我说，那是汉堡号。这艘船正向我们飞快地驶来，叭哒叭哒拍水的声音越来越响。我感到船的身影已经罩向我们的时候，那小船也向我们喊话了。我回答了他们。
“你们船上有一名潜逃回国的流放犯人，”那只小船的舵手说道，“就是那个裹着斗篷的人。他叫做艾伯尔•马格韦契，也叫做普鲁威斯。我是来捉拿他的，我希望你们帮助我，让他投降。”
就在说话的一霎时，没有听到一声他对桨手的吩咐，他那艘船便向我们冲过来。他们突然在船前猛划一桨，便收起了桨，船也已斜向我们，抓住了我们的船边。我们还来不及想一下究竟是怎么回事，事情便发生了。这下子使轮船上的人们也给弄糊涂了，我听到他们在呼喊着我们，我听到有人命令停止开动螺旋桨，接着叭哒叭哒的声音停止了，不过我们仍然感到轮船以不可抗拒的威势向我们扑过来。我来不及思考，就看到那艘小船上的舵手一把抓住了他要捉拿的犯人的肩头，两条小船在潮水中被冲得直打圈子。轮船上的水手们也都一齐奔向船头，你争我挤地都想站到前面。真是说时迟那时快，我们船上的犯人一跃而起，蹿到捉拿者的后面，一把扯掉那个畏缩着坐在舱里的家伙身上的斗篷。立刻便暴露出一张脸，就是那张多少年前那另外一个犯人的脸，而且这张脸因恐惧变得苍白，整个人向后倒下去。只听到轮船上的人们一声惊叫，河里扑通一声，溅起一片浪花，我感到我们的小船直向水下沉去。
顷刻之间，我仿佛在成千的漩涡中和成千闪亮的浪花搏斗着；不一会儿，我被救到另一艘船上，赫伯特在那里，斯塔特普也在那里，而我们的小船已不知去向，两个犯人也不知在何方了。
轮船上的人们叫喊着。轮机愤怒地放着气，而轮船却在向前行驶着。我们的船也在向前行驶着，起初我弄得简直分不清哪儿是天，哪儿是水，哪儿是左岸，哪儿是右岸；但船员们以最快的速度使小船平稳，又迅速地划了几桨，然后又放下桨。每一个人都沉默不语、心情焦急地望着船后的水面。不久，看到水上有一个黑点，对着我们的方向漂浮而来。没有一个人发出声音，但见舵手把手一举，桨手们便一起向后划，使船正对着那个黑点。等黑点靠近，我才看清那是马格韦契。他在游着，不过已不那么自如。他被拉到船上，立刻便给戴上手铐脚镣。
小船保持了平稳，他们又开始默默无言、焦急万分地注视着水面。这时驶往鹿特丹的轮船也已到了，看上去船上的人不知道这里出了事，只是全速驶来。这里呼喊着要它停下来时，它已措手不及，于是两艘船从我们身旁驶过，使我们的船在掀起的巨大波浪上起伏颠簸。他们继续监视着河面，两艘船已过去很远，他们仍长时间地监视着。大家都心中有数，事到如此，怕再无希望了。
最后我们对另一个犯人放弃了希望，小船沿河岸划到了我们住过的那家酒店，店里的人看到我们后吃惊非小。在这里我才有机会让马格韦契得到一些安慰，因为他再不是普鲁威斯了。他的胸口受了重伤，头上被划了一个深深的口子。
他告诉我，他掉下水后肯定是落在了轮船的下面，在他想升起来时，头撞在船底而受了伤。至于他胸部的伤（看来是很重的，连呼吸时都感到十分痛苦），他说是撞在小船上造成的。他又告诉我，他不想说假话，当时他还没有决定该怎么样对付康佩生，只是他手刚一放到康佩生的斗篷上，想拉开斗篷看是不是他，这个家伙却怕得站起来，摇摇晃晃地向后倒去，于是两个人一起翻身掉到了河里。在他（马格韦契）正扭着对方突然翻身下水时，那个来捉拿他的人又来挡住他，结果使我们的小船也翻了。他又低低地对我耳语，他们两人落水之后，他们的四只胳膊死命地扭在一起，在水下进行搏斗，然后他从扭斗中解脱出来，冲出水面泅水而走。
我没有任何理由怀疑他告诉我的不是句句大实话，因为那条船掌舵的官员关于他们下水之事的说法也是相同的。
我请示这位官员准许我在这个小酒店里买几件多余的衣服，把犯人身上穿的已湿透了的衣服换下来，他立刻便同意了，但他说，犯人随身所带的每一件物品都必须交给他保管。于是，那只曾经在我手中有一段时期的钱夹子就交到了他的手上。他还准许我陪着犯人到伦敦去，但是我的两个朋友，就没有得到这份光荣了。
当官的告诉小酒店里那个打杂的，有个落水鬼在什么地方下了水，要他在尸体可能冲上岸的地方都去找一下。我看，他一听到尸体穿着长统袜，他的兴趣立刻高了起来。说不定他现在身上的这一套上下衣物是从十来个尸体身上脱下来的呢。怪不得他一身的穿戴是如此五花八门，其破烂的程度也是各不相同，其原因就在于此。
我们留在小酒店里，直到潮水转了方向，马格韦契才被带到小船，暂时押在那里。赫伯特和斯塔特普只有尽快地从陆路赶回伦敦了。我和他们悲伤凄然地道了别。然后，坐在马格韦契的身边，我顿生一种感觉，以后，只要他活在人间，我就得呆在他的身旁。
现在，我对他的一切厌恶不满均已消融；现在我抓住的这只手是一个已经被捕的、受了伤的、上了镣铐的人的手，我在他身上发现他对我有着无比的恩情，而他多少年来却诚心诚意、一如既往地对我怀着深情厚谊，感谢我少年时的一顿早餐和一把锉刀，竟以全部的所有和生命相报。现在他在我的眼里，我觉得他对我的感情比我对待乔的情感要高出不知多少。
黑夜降临，我发现他的呼吸越来越困难，他忍受着无比的痛苦，不时地从嘴里发出一声哀吟。我让他依偎在我那只好一些的臂膀上，他觉得怎样舒服就怎样倚。我的内心出现了一个可怕的念头，对于他的重伤我并不以为然，认为他如果死去了倒更好，因为有许多人都能够而且愿意证明他有罪，这是无可怀疑的。我决无幻想他会得到宽大处理，从他当初的审判来看，情况就很恶劣，监禁期间又越狱而逃，以后重新审判，在终身流放期间又潜逃回国，再说，这次他的原告又死于他手。
昨天我们于夕阳时分而至，今日我们又于夕阳时分而归，我们怀抱的希望亦如潮水向回流去。我无限心酸地对他说，他这次回国一切都为了我，而我是多么难过。
他对我说：“亲爱的孩子，这次来试试运气我已经十分满意。我看到了我的孩子，我肯定，就是没有我，我的孩子也会成为一个上流社会的人。”
这是不可能的。我们并排而坐时，我早就把这个问题想过一遍。这是不可能的。姑且不谈我自己的想法，就说温米克的暗示吧，现在看来是够明白的了。我已经料到，只要他一被定罪，他的财产就将全部归公，送交国库。
“亲爱的孩子，你听我说，”他说道，“最好你不要让别人知道你这个上流人物是由我培养的。只希望你来看看我，来时你就仿佛是偶然和温米克一起来的。我会受审多次，在最后一次受审时，希望你来，坐在一处我看得到你的地方。我再没有别的要求了。”
我对他说道：“只要允许我和你在一起，我决不会离开你。在天之父一定能够作证，你既待我如此真诚，我一定也待你同样真诚。”
这时我感到他握着我的手抖动着，他躺在船底，把脸转了过去，我听到他喉咙管里发出和过去一样格格格的怪音，不过如今已经柔和多了，和他这个人的其他各方面一样。幸亏他提到这点，使我想到了一个重要问题，否则只怕太迟了，那就是千万不能让他知道他想让我荣华富贵的希望实际上已经破灭。
Chapter 55
HE was taken to the Police Court next day, and would have been immediately committed for trial, but that it was necessary to send down for an old officer of the prison-ship from which he had once escaped, to speak to his identity. Nobody doubted it; but, Compeyson, who had meant to depose to it, was tumbling on the tides, dead, and it happened that there was not at that time any prison officer in London who could give the required evidence. I had gone direct to Mr Jaggers at his private house, on my arrival over night, to retain his assistance, and Mr Jaggers on the prisoner's behalf would admit nothing. It was the sole resource, for he told me that the case must be over in five minutes when the witness was there, and that no power on earth could prevent its going against us. 
I imparted to Mr Jaggers my design of keeping him in ignorance of the fate of his wealth. Mr Jaggers was querulous and angry with me for having `let it slip through my fingers,' and said we must memorialize by-and-by, and try at all events for some of it. But, he did not conceal from me that although there might be many cases in which the forfeiture would not be exacted, there were no circumstances in this case to make it one of them. I understood that, very well. I was not related to the outlaw, or connected with him by any recognizable tie; he had put his hand to no writing or settlement in my favour before his apprehension, and to do so now would be idle. I had no claim, and I finally resolved, and ever afterwards abided by the resolution, that my heart should never be sickened with the hopeless task of attempting to establish one.
There appeared to be reason for supposing that the drowned informer had hoped for a reward out of this forfeiture, and had obtained some accurate knowledge of Magwitch's affairs. When his body was found, many miles from the scene of his death, and so horribly disfigured that he was only recognizable by the contents of his pockets, notes were still legible, folded in a case he carried. Among these, were the name of a banking-house in New South Wales where a sum of money was, and the designation of certain lands of considerable value. Both these heads of information were in a list that Magwitch, while in prison, gave to Mr Jaggers, of the possessions he supposed I should inherit. His ignorance, poor fellow, at last served him; he never mistrusted but that my inheritance was quite safe, with Mr Jaggers's aid.
After three days' delay, during which the crown prosecution stood over for the production of the witness from the prison-ship, the witness came, and completed the easy case. He was committed to take his trial at the next Sessions, which would come on in a month.
It was at this dark time of my life that Herbert returned home one evening, a good deal cast down, and said:
`My dear Handel, I fear I shall soon have to leave you.'
His partner having prepared me for that, I was less surprised than he thought.
`We shall lose a fine opportunity if I put off going to Cairo, and I am very much afraid I must go, Handel, when you most need me.'
`Herbert, I shall always need you, because I shall always love you; but my need is no greater now, than at another time.'
`You will be so lonely.'
`I have not leisure to think of that,' said I. `You know that I am always with him to the full extent of the time allowed, and that I should be with him all day long, if I could. And when I come away from him, you know that my thoughts are with him.'
The dreadful condition to which he was brought, was so appalling to both of us, that we could not refer to it in plainer words.
`My dear fellow,' said Herbert, `let the near prospect of our separation - for, it is very near - be my justification for troubling you about yourself. Have you thought of your future?'
`No, for I have been afraid to think of any future.'
`But yours cannot be dismissed; indeed, my dear dear Handel, it must not be dismissed. I wish you would enter on it now, as far as a few friendly words go, with me.'
`I will,' said I.
`In this branch house of ours, Handel, we must have a--'
I saw that his delicacy was avoiding the right word, so I said, `A clerk.'
`A clerk. And I hope it is not at all unlikely that he may expand (as a clerk of your acquaintance has expanded) into a partner. Now, Handel - in short, my dear boy, will you come to me?'
There was something charmingly cordial and engaging in the manner in which after saying `Now, Handel,' as if it were the grave beginning of a portentous business exordium, he had suddenly given up that tone, stretched out his honest hand, and spoken like a schoolboy.
`Clara and I have talked about it again and again,' Herbert pursued, `and the dear little thing begged me only this evening, with tears in her eyes, to say to you that if you will live with us when we come together, she will do her best to make you happy, and to convince her husband's friend that he is her friend too. We should get on so well, Handel!'
I thanked her heartily, and I thanked him heartily, but said I could not yet make sure of joining him as he so kindly offered. Firstly, my mind was too preoccupied to be able to take in the subject clearly. Secondly - Yes! Secondly, there was a vague something lingering in my thoughts that will come out very near the end of this slight narrative.
`But if you thought, Herbert, that you could, without doing any injury to your business, leave the questions open for a little while--'
`For any while,' cried Herbert. `Six months, a year!'
`Not so long as that,' said I. `Two or three months at most.'
Herbert was highly delighted when we shook hands on this arrangement, and said he could now take courage to tell me that he believed he must go away at the end of the week.
`And Clara?' said I.
`The dear little thing,' returned Herbert, `holds dutifully to her father as long as he lasts; but he won't last long. Mrs Whimple confides to me that the is certainly going.'
`Not to say an unfeeling thing,' said I, `he cannot do better than go.'
`I am afraid that must be admitted,' said Herbert: `and then I shall come back for the dear little thing, and the dear little thing and I will walk quietly into the nearest church. Remember! The blessed darling comes of no family, my dear Handel, and never looked into the red book, and hasn't a notion about her grandpapa. What a fortune for the son of my mother!'
On the Saturday in that same week, I took my leave of Herbert - full of bright hope, but sad and sorry to leave me - as he sat on one of the seaport mail coaches. I went into a coffee-house to write a little note a Clara, telling her he had gone off, sending his love to her over and over again, and then went to my lonely home - if it deserved the name, for it was now no home to me, and I had no home anywhere.
On the stairs I encountered Wemmick, who was coming down, after an unsuccessful application of his knuckles to my door. I had not seen him alone, since the disastrous issue of the attempted flight; and he had come, in his private and personal capacity, to say a few words of explanation in reference to that failure.
`The late Compeyson,' said Wemmick, `had by little and little got at the bottom of half of the regular business now transacted, and it was from the talk of some of his people in trouble (some of his people being always in trouble) that I heard what I did. I kept my ears open, seeming to have them shut, until I heard that he was absent, and I thought that would be the best time for making the attempt. I can only suppose now, that it was a part of his policy, as a very clever man, habitually to deceive his own instruments. You don't blame me, I hope, Mr Pip? I am sure I tried to serve you, with all my heart.'
`I am as sure of that, Wemmick, as you can be, and I thank you most earnestly for all your interest and friendship.'
`Thank you, thank you very much. It's a bad job,' said Wemmick, scratching his head, `and I assure you I haven't been so cut up for a long time. What I look at, is the sacrifice of so much portable property. Dear me!'
`What I think of, Wemmick, is the poor owner of the property.'
`Yes, to be sure,' said Wemmick. `Of course there can be no objection to your being sorry for him, and I'd put down a five-pound note myself to get him out of it. But what I look at, is this. The late Compeyson having been beforehand with him in intelligence of his return, and being so determined to bring him to book, I do not think he could have been saved. Whereas, the portable property certainly could have been saved. That's the difference between the property and the owner, don't you see?'
I invited Wemmick to come up-stairs, and refresh himself with a glass of grog before walking to Walworth. He accepted the invitation. While he was drinking his moderate allowance, he said, with nothing to lead up to it, and after having appeared rather fidgety:
`What do you think of my meaning to take a holiday on Monday, Mr Pip?'
`Why, I suppose you have not done such a thing these twelve months.'
`These twelve years, more likely,' said Wemmick. `Yes. I'm going to take a holiday. More than that; I'm going to take a walk. More than that; I'm going to ask you to take a walk with me.'
I was about to excuse myself, as being but a bad companion just than, when Wemmick anticipated me.
`I know your engagements,' said he, `and I know you are out of sorts, Mr Pip. But if you could oblige me, I should take it as a kindness. It ain't a long walk, and it's an early one. Say it might occupy you (including breakfast on the walk) from eight to twelve. Couldn't you stretch a point and manage it?'
He had done so much for me at various times, that this was very little to do for him. I said I could manage it - would manage it - and he was so very much pleased by my acquiescence, that I was pleased too. At his particular request, I appointed to call for him at the Castle at half-past eight on Monday morning, and so we parted for the time.
Punctual to my appointment, I rang at the Castle gate on the Monday morning, and was received by Wemmick himself: who struck me as looking tighter than usual, and having a sleeker hat on. Within, there were two glasses of rum-and-milk prepared, and two biscuits. The Aged must have been stirring with the lark, for, glancing into the perspective of his bedroom, I observed that his bed was empty.
When we had fortified ourselves with the rum-and-milk and biscuits, and were going out for the walk with that training preparation on us, I was considerably surprised to see Wemmick take up a fishing-rod, and put it over his shoulder. `Why, we are not going fishing!' said I. `No,' returned Wemmick, `but I like to walk with one.'
I thought this odd; however, I said nothing, and we set off. We went towards Camberwell Green, and when we were thereabouts, Wemmick said suddenly:
`Halloa! Here's a church!'
There was nothing very surprising in that; but a gain, I was rather surprised, when he said, as if he were animated by a brilliant idea:
`Let's go in!'
We went in, Wemmick leaving his fishing-rod in the porch, and looked all round. In the mean time, Wemmick was diving into his his coat-pockets, and getting something out of paper there.
`Halloa!' said he. `Here's a couple of pair of gloves! Let's put 'em on!'
As the gloves were white kid gloves, and as the post-office was widened to its utmost extent, I now began to have my strong suspicions. They were strengthened into certainty when I beheld the Aged enter at a side door, escorting a lady.
`Halloa!' said Wemmick. `Here's Miss Skiffins! Let's have a wedding.'
That discreet damsel was attired as usual, except that she was now engaged in substituting for her green kid gloves, a pair of white. The Aged was likewise occupied in preparing a similar sacrifice for the altar of Hymen. The old gentleman, however, experienced so much difficulty in getting his gloves on, that Wemmick found it necessary to put him with his back against a pillar, and then to get behind the pillar himself and pull away at them, while I for my part held the old gentleman round the waist, that he might present and equal and safe resistance. By dint of this ingenious Scheme, his gloves were got on to perfection.
The clerk and clergyman then appearing, we were ranged in order at those fatal rails. True to his notion of seeming to do it all without preparation, I heard Wemmick say to himself as he took something out of his waistcoat-pocket before the service began, `Halloa! Here's a ring!'
I acted in the capacity of backer, or best-man, to the bridegroom; while a little limp pew opener in a soft bonnet like a baby's, made a feint of being the bosom friend of Miss Skiffins. The responsibility of giving the lady away, devolved upon the Aged, which led to the clergyman's being unintentionally scandalized, and it happened thus. When he said, `Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?' the old gentlemen, not in the least knowing what point of the ceremony we had arrived at, stood most amiably beaming at the ten commandments. Upon which, the clergyman said again, `WHO giveth this woman to be married to this man?' The old gentleman being still in a state of most estimable unconsciousness, the bridegroom cried out in his accustomed voice, `Now Aged P. you know; who giveth?' To which the Aged replied with great briskness, before saying that he gave, `All right, John, all right, my boy!' And the clergyman came to so gloomy a pause upon it, that I had doubts for the moment whether we should get completely married that day.
It was completely done, however, and when we were going out of church, Wemmick took the cover off the font, and put his white gloves in it, and put the cover on again. Mrs Wemmick, more heedful of the future, put her white gloves in her pocket and assumed her green. `Now, Mr Pip,' said Wemmick, triumphantly shouldering the fishing-rod as we came out, `let me ask you whether anybody would suppose this to be a wedding-party!'
Breakfast had been ordered at a pleasant little tavern, a mile or so away upon the rising ground beyond the Green, and there was a bagatelle board in the room, in case we should desire to unbend our minds after the solemnity. It was pleasant to observe that Mrs Wemmick no longer unwound Wemmick's arm when it adapted itself to her figure, but sat in a high-backed chair against the wall, like a violoncello in its case, and submitted to be embraced as that melodious instrument might have done.
We had an excellent breakfast, and when any one declined anything on table, Wemmick said, `Provided by contract, you know; don't be afraid of it!' I drank to the new couple, drank to the Aged, drank to the Castle, saluted the bride at parting, and made myself as agreeable as I could.
Wemmick came down to the door with me, and I again shook hands with him, and wished him joy.
`Thankee!' said Wemmick, rubbing his hands. `She's such a manager of fowls, you have no idea. You shall have some eggs, and judge for yourself. I say, Mr Pip!' calling me back, and speaking low. `This is altogether a Walworth sentiment, please.'
`I understand. Not to be mentioned in Little Britain,' said I.
Wemmick nodded. `After what you let out the other day, Mr Jaggers may as well not know of it. He might think my brain was softening, or something of the kind.'
 
第二天他就被解往违警罪法庭，本来立刻就要对他的案件进行审理，只是有必要先送信通知当年他被关押的监狱船，来一位知道他案情的狱吏，证明他当时越狱的情况。本来对此案的案情是无人怀疑的，不过本来准备安排来作证的康佩生已落入潮水而死，所以出现了意外，在伦敦又找不出一个狱吏能提供必要的证明。我在回到伦敦的当天晚上直接去到贾格斯先生的私人宅第，请他办理此案。贾格斯先生答应受理，但对案情却不提一字。因为只有这样做才是唯一的途径，他告诉我，此案只要一有人证，在五分钟内就能定案，要想挽回是人力之所不可能，无疑，这定案将是对我们十分不利的。
我告诉贾格斯先生，马格韦契的钱袋已交给警官，我希望能瞒住这件事，不让他知道。贾格斯先生一听便很气愤，对我大加批评，说钱是“从我手指之间溜走了”，他认为必须要写一个备忘录，无论如何要弄回一部分。不过，他也不隐瞒我，他说，虽然有许多案件也不一定绝对没收财产，但这一个案件情况不同，它不具有免予充公的条件。我对这点非常清楚。我和犯人不具备亲戚继承关系，也没有其他的公认关系或联系。在他被捕之前既没有为我立下字据，也没有做出有关安排，如果现在来补行安排和立字据，根据法律已是无效了。我又不可能提出要求。因此我最后作出决定，而且以后不改变我的决定，即决不贪图毫无希望之财。
现在似乎有理由作如下设想，这位被淹死的通风告密的康佩生原来希望从充公的财物中得到好处，因为他对马格韦契的财产情况了解得非常清楚。这是从下面情况得到证实的。在离现场许多里之外发现了他的尸身，当时已面目全非，无法确认；只是他口袋里的东西还可证明是他。他口袋里有一个夹子，里面写的字条清晰可认，上面记载着在新南威尔士某个银行里马格韦契有多少存款，又注明了几处地产，价值可观。被关在狱中时，马格韦契把这些财产的清单交给了贾格斯先生，说是我以后可以继承的遗产。可怜的马格韦契，他的无知却对自己起了安慰的作用；他从未怀疑过，认为有了贾格斯先生的受理，我继承这笔财产是完全有把握的了。
案件审理延迟了三天，这几天是用来等待监狱船上来的证人的。证人三天后才来，一来，这件简单的案子便走了案。马格韦契暂时收监，等待下一期开庭再审理，下次开庭的时间是一个月之后。
这时是我一生中最黑暗的时期。一个晚上，赫伯特回来，万分沮丧，他说：
“亲爱的汉德尔，我怕不得不留下你一个人了。”
因为他的合伙人已经和我打过招呼，我不会像赫伯特所想象的那样感到诧异。
“我这次非到开罗去不可了，否则我们就会失去一次良机。汉德尔，在你最需要我的时候，我却非离开你不可。”
“赫伯特，我永远需要你，因为我永远热爱你。我不仅仅现在需要你，而且任何时候我都需要你。”
“你会感到孤独。”
“我没有时间考虑到这些，”我说道，“你知道，只要在允许的时间内，我都得和他在一起，只要可能，我就会成天地和他待在一起。你知道，当我离开他，我的思想也是和他在一起的。”
他如此可怕的处境使赫伯特和我都受了惊吓。我们只能这么说，而不能讲得更加明白具体。
“亲爱的老兄，”赫伯特说道，“我们的分手就在眼前——的的确确为时不远——我想打扰你一下，你是否谈谈自己呢，你有没有想过你的前途呢？”
“我还没有想过呢，因为我实在不敢想我的前途。”
“可是你不能不去想一想你的前途；说真的，我亲爱的汉德尔，你必须想一想你的前途。我希望你现在谈一谈，和我谈一谈一个朋友的知心话。”
“可以。”我说道。
“汉德尔，在我们的分公司中正需要一位——”
我看得很清楚，他在言词上尽量不用一个确切的词来表明他的用意，所以我替他说道：“需要一位办事员。”
“是需要一位办事员，但将来发展成一个股东不是不可能的，你看你的老相识我不是已经从一个办事员发展成一个股东了吗？汉德尔，简单地说吧，我的老兄，你愿意到我的公司里来吗？”
他的态度表现出一种非常可爱的真诚，他在说“汉德尔”的时候，好像这个开头是十分严肃认真的，想干一份什么重要的大事，可是突然间他换了语气，又伸出了友谊的手，说起话来又像一个学童。
“克拉娜和我已讨论过好几次，”赫伯特继续说道，“就在今天晚上，这个可爱的小东西还向我诉说呢，她满脸泪痕地说到你，说等她和我结婚后，你如果愿意和我们住在一起，她一定尽力使你过得愉快，她要让丈夫的朋友相信，丈夫的朋友也就是她的朋友。汉德尔，我们会相处很好的！”
我诚心诚意地感谢她，我也谈心诚意地感谢他，不过我告诉他，虽然他向我提供了这个好机会，我目前却不可能参加到他的分公司中去。首先，我的心思完全不在这里，考虑不到这个问题，其次——是的，其次在我的心中还徘徊着一个阴影，要到我这自述的末尾才能看清。
“赫伯特，这个问题要是对你的事业没有损坏，我的看法是，你还是把这个问题放在一边——”
“放多少时间都行，”赫伯特说道，“六个月怎么样，一年呢？”
“不需要那么长，”我说道，“至多两三个月吧。”
我们达成协议后便握手祝贺。赫伯特兴致勃勃地说，他现在可以鼓足勇气来告诉我，就在本周末他便要和我告别了。
“克拉娜怎么办呢？”我问道。
“这个可爱的小东西嘛，”赫伯特说道，“只要她父亲活着一天，她就要尽一天孝道，不过他活不长了。蕴普尔夫人真心地告诉我，他很快就要死了。”
“说句不好听的话，”我说道，“他死了倒比活着好。”
“我看这一点也不错，”赫伯特说道，“到那时我就回来看望这亲爱的小东西，这亲爱的小东西和我就静悄悄地走到一个最近的教堂。记住！这个幸福的人不是出于名门大户，亲爱的汉德尔，从来没有查过什么贵族谱这一类的书，对自己祖父一点印象都没有。我妈妈的儿子是多么幸福啊！”
就在这个星期的星期六，赫伯特乘上邮车向海港而去。我和他两人分了手。他带着无限光明的远景和我告别，不过心中仍然有些凄然和难过。他走之后，我去到一家咖啡馆，在那里给克拉娜写了一封短信，告诉她赫伯特已经出发，转达了他对她表示的一次又一次的爱意。然后，我回到自己孤寂的家，如果这里还够得上称为 “家”的话。我可以说已是无家可归了，因为现在这里已不能再当作“家’了。
我在上楼梯时正碰到温米克从楼上下来，他在楼上敲我的门，见没有人答应才下来的。自从那次企图出逃失败之后我还没有单独见到过他。他这次是以私人的身份和个人之间的关系来看我，准备和我谈谈心，就出逃失败的原因作一次分析。
“那个死掉的康佩生，”温米克说道，“一点一点顺藤摸瓜，把整个的事情都弄得一清二楚。所有这些我都是从他手下的几个人那里听来的，这几个手下人都是惹上麻烦的（他手下有一些人总是惹上麻烦），我把听来的都告诉了你。在他们讲这些事情时我表面上装作掩耳不闻，其实我张开两耳留着神呢。上次听到康佩生不在伦敦的消息，我想这是个绝好的机会干这件事。现在我才恍然大悟，这原来是他的策略，这个人非常聪明，连自己的心腹有时也会耍欺骗手段。你不要责怪我，皮普，我想你不会吧？我是真心诚意想帮你忙的，我这可完全是真话。”
“温米克，我绝对相信你说的话，我真挚地向你表示谢意，谢谢你对我的关心和给我的友谊。”
“谢谢你的好意，非常感谢你。我办了一件坏事，”温米克抓抓头皮，说道，“我敢说我已经多年没有办错一件事了。而这次，我说，做了多大牺牲，大笔动产失去了。天啦！”
“温米克，我所想到的只是这笔动产的可怜的主人。”
“那当然，那当然，”温米克说道，“当然我不反对你因为他而感到心里难过，其实，如果能够救出他，叫我拿出五镑钞票我也乐意。不过呢，我自有看法。那个死掉的康佩生既然事先获得他回国的信息，既然下定决心要让他吃官司，我看他想逃也逃不了。而动产的情况就不同了，它是可救的。动产和动产的所有人有区别，这点你难道不懂吗？”
我请温米克到楼上去，喝一杯掺水烈性酒，暖暖身子休息一下，然后再回伍尔华斯。他接受了我的盛情邀请。他喝了我给他的一杯酒，显出有些烦躁不安，然后突然说出下面的话，和原来的话题毫无联系。
“皮普先生，我准备星期一休息一天，你看怎么样？”
“真的，我看你一年十二个月中一天也没有休息过。”
“不要说十二个月，更该说十二年来没有休息过。”温米克说道，“确实，我准备休息一天。不仅休息，我还准备出去走走。不仅去走走，我还要约请你同我一起出去走走。”
我正想说请他谅解，由于心境恶劣，不想出去走，而温米克已经料到我有这一招。
“皮普先生，我知道你有事情，”他说道，“我也知道你的心境不好，只要你答应这一次走走，我对你是很感谢的。这次走动不会很远，但要早一些，比如说上午八时到十二时吧（包括早饭在内），就这四小时。你能不能抽出一些时间和我走一趟呢？”
过去有许多次他都帮了我许多忙，今天为了他这区区小事又算得什么呢。我便说我能设法和他出去走走，我一定尽力想办法。他听我同意后显得非常高兴，我也很高兴。由于他特殊的要求，所以我们约定好，星期一上午八时半我到城堡去叫他，然后我们便告别了。
星期一早晨我准时到达城堡，拉了拉门上的铃，温米克亲自出来接我。今天我发现他比往日打扮得漂亮得多，头上戴的帽子也更加柔软光滑。在屋内，已备好了两杯朗姆酒，而且兑了牛奶，另外也放好了两份饼干。老人家恐怕也早被云雀吵醒了，我远远地向他的卧室望去，他的床上空空如也。
我们完成了朗姆酒兑牛奶，外加饼干的任务，正准备出发散步消耗掉这份供应，突然看到温米克拿出一根钓鱼竿，把它往肩上一扛。这一下使我吃惊不小，我便问他：“怎么，我们去钓鱼吗？”温米克答道：“不去钓鱼。不过我喜欢出去时背上一根钓鱼竿。”
我觉得事情有些蹊跷，不过我一言未发，便两人一起出发了。我们向坎坡威尔草地的方向走去，快走到那一带时，温米克突然说道：
“喂！这儿可有一个教堂呢！”
我并不觉得这句话有什么值得惊讶的，不过我感到奇怪的是他好像有了什么灵感，想出一个奇妙的主意，说道：
“我们到教堂里面去看看。”
我们走了进去，温米克把钓鱼竿放在门廊里，旋即向四周望了一下。就这时，温米克把手伸进大衣的口袋里，掏出一件纸包的东西。
“啊呀！”他说道，“这里有两副手套呢！我们每人套上一副！”
这手套是小山羊皮制成的。这时他的那张邮筒式的嘴巴大大地张开着，由此我对他的这次行动也起了特别的怀疑。同时，我看到老人家也来了，从边门走进来，和他一起来的还有一位小姐，这样我的怀疑也就证实了。
“啊呀！”温米克说道，“司琪芬小姐到了！我们的婚礼就开始了。”
这位斯斯文文的女郎穿的衣服也像往常一样，只是现在她正脱去手上的一副绿山羊皮手套，换上了一副白色的。老人家也同样准备向哈埃曼这位婚姻之神的祭坛奉献上同样的礼品。不过这位老先生简直没有办法戴上这副手套，温米克不得不来帮点忙，让老先生背倚在教堂柱子上，自己站在这根柱子的后面，用这种方法给他拉上手套，我也过来一把抱住老先生的腰，这样使得双方力量平衡起来，不至于不安全。耍了这么一个小技巧，手套总算套了上去，而且戴得很整齐，可说是达到尽善尽美。
教堂中的牧师和办事员走了出来，我们便按顺序站在终身大事的栏杆前。温米克那个样子似乎毫无事前准备，完全是偶然碰上的。在婚礼仪式开始之前，温米克从背心口袋里掏出一样东西自言自语地说道：“嗨！这里还有一枚戒指呢！”
我扮演的是陪新郎的角色，也就是新郎的男傧相；教堂里走出来一位身材矮小、柔弱无力的女人，是个领座员，头上戴了一顶柔软的无边帽，真像一顶娃娃帽，由她当司琪芬小姐的心腹女友。嫁姑娘的责任则移到了老人家的身上，而老人家却无意中引起了牧师的大为不满。事情是这样的，牧师问道：“是谁把这位小姐嫁给这位先生的？”而这位老先生根本就不知道现在结婚仪式进行到哪一个项目了，站在那里对着写在墙上的十诫温厚宽容地笑着。牧师看到这里又一次问道：“是谁把这位小姐嫁给这位先生的？”可是这位老先生还是一副若无其事的样子，只顾自己自得其乐，对牧师问话全然不顾。所以新郎用以往的那种声音对他喊道：“老爸爸，你知道吧，是谁嫁女儿？”老人家在说是谁嫁女儿之前却轻松活泼地说道：“对极了，约翰，对极了，我的孩子！”这时牧师满脸阴沉怒气，停顿了下来。这使我有些惶恐不安，今天能不能顺利完成婚礼倒是遇上麻烦了。
然而这次婚礼却顺利地结束了，我们走出教堂，温米克掀开圣水盘上的盖子，把自己的白手套放在里面，然后又随手把盖子放上。温米克夫人却指望将来，一切向前看，所以把白手套放进了口袋，换戴上那副绿色手套。温米克在走出来时又得意洋洋地扛上那根鱼竿，对我说道：“你倒说说，谁会想到这里举行的是一场婚礼？”
早餐已经定好，是在一家位于斜坡之上的令人兴致雅然的小酒店里，就在一英里多地的绿地上方。在酒店的正厅中放着一张台球桌，这是为了在严肃的结婚典礼之后轻松一下心情而准备的。温米克伸出手臂挽住温米克太太的腰部时，她再不把他的手臂推开。她坐在一张靠墙的高背椅上，就像放在匣里的大提琴一样，当琴师需要演奏的时候，就让他任意地拥抱。看到这一点可真叫我从心眼里高兴。
我们享受了一顿非常可口的早餐，无论是谁，只要对某一道菜不动刀叉，温米克便会说道：“所有的菜都是定好的，你们尽管放心大开胃口好了。”我向新郎新娘祝酒，向老人家祝酒，向城堡祝酒，在辞别时我又向新娘致意，尽量使自己显得落落大方，心情愉快。
温米克把我送到门口，我又一次和他紧紧地握手，并且祝他幸福快乐。
“谢谢你！”温米克搓着双手说道，“你可一点儿也不知道吧，她可是个养鸡能手呢。什么时候到我们家来品尝一下鸡蛋你就会知道了。”说着他又拖我回来低低说道：“皮普先生，我告诉你，这可是伍尔华斯的心情。”
“放心吧，我不会在小不列颠街提到这件事的。”我说道。
温米克对我点点头，说道：“哪一天说不定你会把这件事给捅出来，但千万不要让贾格斯先生知道。他会说我变得心慈手软了什么的。”
Chapter 56
HE lay in prison very ill, during the whole interval between his committal for trial, and the coming round of the Sessions. He had broken two ribs, they had wounded one of his lungs, and he breathed with great pain and difficulty, which increased daily. It was a consequence of his hurt, that he spoke so low as to be scarcely audible; therefore, he spoke very little. But, he was ever ready to listen to me, and it became the first duty of my life to say to him, and read to him, what I knew he ought to hear. 
Being far too ill to remain in the common prison, he was removed, after the first day or so, into the infirmary. This gave me opportunities of being with him that I could not otherwise have had. And but for his illness he would have been put in irons, for he was regarded as a determined prison-breaker, and I know not what else.
Although I saw him every day, it was for only a short time; hence, the regularly recurring spaces of our separation were long enough to record on his face any slight changes that occurred in his physical state. I do not recollect that I once saw any change in it for the better; he wasted, and became slowly weaker and worse, day by day, from the day when the prison door closed upon him.
The kind of submission or resignation that he showed, was that of a man who was tired out. I sometimes derived an impression, from his manner or from a whispered word or two which escaped him, that he pondered over the question whether he might have been a better man under better circumstances. But, he never justified himself by a hint tending that way, or tried to bend the past out of its eternal shape.
It happened or two or three occasions in my presence, that his desperate reputation was alluded to by one or other of the people in attendance on him. A smile crossed his face then, and he turned his eyes on me with a trustful look, as if he were confident that I had see some small redeeming touch in him, even so long ago as when I was a little child. As to all the rest, he was humble and contrite, and I never knew him complain.
When the Sessions came round, Mr Jaggers caused an application to be made for the postponement of his trial until the following Sessions. It was obviously made with the assurance that he could not live so long, and was refused. The trial came on at once, and, when he was put to the bar, he was seated in a chair. No objection was made to my getting close to the dock, on the outside of it, and holding the hand that he stretched forth to me.
The trial was very short and very clear. Such things as could be said for him, were said - how he had taken to industrious habits, and had thriven lawfully and reputably. But, nothing could unsay the fact that he had returned, and was there in presence of the Judge and Jury. It was impossible to try him for that, and do otherwise than find him guilty.
At that time, it was the custom (as I learnt from my terrible experience of that Sessions) to devote a concluding day to the passing of Sentences, and to make a finishing effect with the Sentence of Death. But for the indelible picture that my remembrance now holds before me, I could scarcely believe, even as I write these words, that I saw two-and-thirty men and women put before the Judge to receive that sentence together. Foremost among the two-and-thirty, was he; seated, that he might get breath enough to keep life in him.
The whole scene starts out again in the vivid colours of the moment, down to the drops of April rain on the windows of the court, glittering in the rays of April sun. Penned in the dock, as I again stood outside it at the corner with his hand in mine, were the two-and-thirty men and women; some defiant, some stricken with terror, some sobbing and weeping, some covering their faces, some staring gloomily about. There had been shrieks from among the women convicts, but they had been stilled, a hush had succeeded. The sheriffs with their great chains and nosegays, other civic gewgaws and monsters, criers, ushers, a great gallery full of people - a large theatrical audience - looked on, as the two-and-thirty and the Judge were solemnly confronted. Then, the Judge addressed them. Among the wretched creatures before him whom he must single out for special address, was one who almost from his infancy had been an offender against the laws; who, after repeated imprisonments and punishments, had been at length sentenced to exile for a term of years; and who, under circumstances of great violence and daring had made his escape and been re-sentenced to exile for life. That miserable man would seem for a time to have become convinced of his errors, when far removed from the scenes of his old offences, and to have lived a peaceable and honest life. But in a fatal moment, yielding to those propensities and passions, the indulgence of which had so long rendered him a scourge to society, he had quitted his haven of rest and repentance, and had come back to the country where he was proscribed. Being here presently denounced, he had for a time succeeded in evading the officers of Justice, but being at length seized while in the act of flight, he had resisted them, and had - he best knew whether by express design, or in the blindness of his hardihood - caused the death of his denouncer, to whom his whole career was known. The appointed punishment for his return to the land that had cast him out, being Death, and his case being this aggravated case, he must prepare himself to Die.
The sun was striking in at the great windows of the court, through the glittering drops of rain upon the glass, and it made a broad shaft of light between the two-and-thirty and the Judge, linking both together, and perhaps reminding some among the audience, how both were passing on, with absolute equality, to the greater Judgment that knoweth all things and cannot err. Rising for a moment, a distinct speck of face in this way of light, the prisoner said, `My Lord, I have received my sentence of Death from the Almighty, but I bow to yours,' and sat down again. There was some hushing, and the Judge went on with what he had to say to the rest. Then, they were all formally doomed, and some of them were supported out, and some of them sauntered out with a haggard look of bravery, and a few nodded to the gallery, and two or three shook hands, and others went out chewing the fragments of herb they had taken from the sweet herbs lying about. He went last of all, because of having to be helped from his chair and to go very slowly; and he held my hand while all the others were removed, and while the audience got up (putting their dresses right, as they might at church or elsewhere) and pointed down at this criminal or at that, and most of all at him and me.
I earnestly hoped and prayed that he might die before the Recorder's Report was made, but, in the dread of his lingering on, I began that night to write out a petition to the Home Secretary of State, setting forth my knowledge of him, and how it was that he had come back for my sake. I wrote it as fervently and pathetically as I could, and when I had finished it and sent it in, I wrote out other petitions to such men in authority as I hoped were the most merciful, and drew up one to the Crown itself. For several days and nights after he was sentenced I took no rest except when I fell asleep in my chair, but was wholly absorbed in these appeals. And after I had sent them in, I could not keep away from the places where they were, but felt as if they were more hopeful and less desperate when I was near them. In this unreasonable restlessness and pain of mind, I would roam the streets of an evening, wandering by those offices and houses where I had left the petitions. To the present hour, the weary western streets of London on a cold dusty spring night, with their ranges of stern shut-up mansions and their long rows of lamps, are melancholy to me from this association.
The daily visits I could make him were shortened now, and he was more strictly kept. Seeing, or fancying, that I was suspected of an intention of carrying poison to him, I asked to be searched before I sat down at his bedside, and told the officer who was always there, that I was willing to do anything that would assure him of the singleness of my designs. Nobody was hard with him, or with me. There was duty to be done, and it was done, but not harshly. The officer always gave me the assurance that he was worse, and some other sick prisoners in the room, and some other prisoners who attended on them as sick nurses (malefactors, but not incapable of kindness,GODbe thanked!), always joined in the same report.
As the days went on, I noticed more and more that he would lie placidly looking at the white ceiling, with an absence of light in his face, until some word of mine brightened it for an instant, and then it would subside again. Sometimes he was almost, or quite, unable to speak; then, he would answer me with slight pressures on my hand, and I grew to understand his meaning very well.
The number of the days had risen to ten, when I saw a greater change in him than I had seen yet. His eyes were turned towards the door, and lighted up as I entered.
`Dear boy,' he said, as I sat down by his bed: `I thought you was late. But I knowed you couldn't be that.'
`It is just the time,' said I. `I waited for it at the gate.'
`You always waits at the gate; don't you, dear boy?'
`Yes. Not to lose a moment of the time.'
`Thank'ee dear boy, thank'ee. God bless you! You've never deserted me, dear boy.'
I pressed his hand in silence, for I could not forget that I had once meant to desert him.
`And what's the best of all,' he said, `you've been more comfortable alonger me, since I was under a dark cloud, than when the sun shone. That's best of all.'
He lay on his back, breathing with great difficulty. Do what he would, and love me though he did, the light left his face ever and again, and a film came over the placid look at the white ceiling.
`Are you in much pain to-day?'
`I don't complain of none, dear boy.'
`You never do complain.'
He had spoken his last words. He smiled, and I understood his touch to mean that he wished to lift my hand, and lay it on his breast. I laid it there, and he smiled again, and put both his hands upon it.
The allotted time ran out, while we were thus; but, looking round, I found the governor of the prison standing near me, and he whispered, `You needn't go yet.' I thanked him gratefully, and asked, `Might I speak to him, if he can hear me?'
The governor stepped aside, and beckoned the officer away. The change, though it was made without noise, drew back the film from the placid look at the white ceiling, and he looked most affectionately at me.
`Dear Magwitch, I must tell you, now at last. You understand what I say?'
A gentle pressure on my hand.
`You had a child once, whom you loved and lost.'
A stronger pressure on my hand.
`She lived and found powerful friends. She is living now. She is a lady and very beautiful. And I love her!'
With a last faint effort, which would have been powerless but for my yielding to it and assisting it, he raised my hand to his lips. Then, he gently let it sink upon his breast again, with his own hands lying on it. The placid look at the white ceiling came back, and passed away, and his head dropped quietly on his breast.
Mindful, then, of what we had read together, I thought of the two men who went up into the Temple to pray, and I knew there were no better words that I could say beside his bed, than `O Lord, be merciful to him, a sinner!'
 
马格韦契在监狱里病得很厉害。自从他收监待审一直到开庭审理，整个这段期间他都在生病。因为他有两根肋骨折断，有一侧的肺叶受了伤，连呼吸都感到困难和痛苦，而且病情每况愈下。由于病痛使他话讲得都很低声，甚至听不清楚，所以他干脆少讲话，但是他特别喜欢听我讲话，所以我的首要任务就是给他讲，给他读，凡是我觉得他应该听的我便为他讲，为他读。
因为他的病实在太重，不宜于住在普通牢房中，所以一两天之后，他便给搬到了监狱的病房中去。这就给了我一个机会伴在他身边，否则我是不能与他相伴的。如果不是因为重病，他必得戴上手铐脚镣，大家都认为他是一个死心塌地的越狱犯，还有许多我不知道的坏话。
虽然每天我都见到他，毕竟相见的时间较短，分开的时间比较长。回想起来，当时无论他精神状态方面有什么变化，哪怕一丁点儿变化，从他的面容上都能反映出来。我真记不起来他有过哪一次变得好一些。监狱之门又把他锁上之后，他越来越瘦下去，越来越虚弱，病情越来越糟。
他的性格已变得十分温顺，对于前途也就听之任之，对一切都已疲倦了。有时候，从他的行为态度上，或者从他忽然脱口而出的一两句话中，我会得到一种印象，好像他在思考着一个问题，如果他处于一个良好的环境，是否他就能成为一个好人呢。不过他并没有表示出他的这种看法，也没有表示对已经铸成事实的往事有什么懊悔屈服。
偶尔有两三次我在监狱里时，有一两个派来照料他的犯人暗示说，他是个有名的挺而走险不顾一切的人。他听了别人的暗示，嘴边露出一丝微笑，并且转过眼睛以信任的神态望着我，仿佛他相信很久之前还当我是孩子时就曾经见到过他身上的这些小小特点。在其他时间里，他是那么谦恭自卑，蕴含着懊悔的心情，但我没有见到过他抱怨。
开庭日期将到时，贾格斯先生提出一个申请，要求延期审理他的案子，到下一次开庭时再审理。十分明显，因为马格韦契肯定活的时间不长了，但法庭对他的申请作了否决。审理立刻按时进行，马格韦契被带到法庭，坐在一张椅子里。法庭允许我坐在靠近被告席的地方，仅有一栅栏之隔。我握着他从栅栏中伸过来的手。
审判进行得非常简短，问题谈得又很清楚。凡能为他讲的话也已说尽，比如他已经养成了勤劳的习惯，他的勤劳致富符合法律，而且值得尊敬。不过，无论怎样，事实还是事实，他从流放中潜逃回国，现在正坐在法官和陪审团的面前。如果说这样还不能定罪，说他无罪，当然是不可能的。
在那个年代里法庭保留了一种惯例（我因为这次到法庭旁听，在惊心动魄的个人体验中才了解到），开庭的过程中要留下最后一天宣判死刑。这样可以起到最好的效果。一口想起这件事，我脑海中便出现一幅难以忘怀的图画。否则，即使在我书写这件事时，我也很难相信那次有三十二名男女犯人被置于法官之前，听候死刑的判决。三十二人之中的第一个就是马格韦契，他坐在那里，是为了让他留下一口气再活着被处死。
整个的这一幕现在又栩栩如生地出现在我的眼前。当时法庭的窗户上闪耀着四月的阳光，同时四月的雨点也打在上面。我站在被告席旁边，仅一栅栏之隔，我从一个角上抓住他从栅栏中伸过来的手。站在栅栏里的是三十二位男女犯人，他们当中有的藐视法庭，有的全身恐惧，有的低低啜泣，有的号啕大哭，有的捂住面孔，还有的阴郁地茫然四顾。在女犯人中发出了尖叫声，法庭上要她们肃静，她们便静下来，一点声息都没有。法官们身上挂着表链，佩戴着花束，法庭里其他的小官们、法警们、庭丁们，以及来旁听案件审理的所有的人，就像拥挤戏院里的观众一样，都在盯着对峙中的大法官和三十二位犯人，面部严肃。接着大法官开始对犯人演说。他说站在他面前的这批可怜的犯人中，其中有一个人特别值得在这里提及，因为他从孩提开始就行为不轨，触犯法律，屡次被捕人监进行惩罚，而又屡次不改，终于被判长期监禁。可是他仍旧旧性不改，胆大妄为，进行施暴手段，越狱而逃，因此改判终身流放。这一位不幸的人离开犯案之地，在流放期间曾一度对自己所犯错误有所认识，生活安分守己，待人忠实可靠，但是在至关重要的时刻，他又耽于情感，旧病复发，重蹈昔日对社会危害之路，离开他重新做人终身忏悔的地方，擅自潜回祖国。须知他终身流放后是不能回国的，祖国不是他的法律保护地，他一回祖国便受到指控。在一个阶段内他逃避了官府的追查，最后在企图逃亡国外的途中事发。他抗拒官府行使逮捕令，又使对他了如指掌的告发人在协助追捕时死去，这究竟是因为他设计谋害，还是在粗鲁忙碌中误杀，只有他本人知道得最为清楚。根据法律，凡终身流放而私自返国者处以死刑，而此人所犯符合此条，必罪上加罪，处死无疑。
法庭的几扇大玻璃窗上虽然布满了雨点，而阳光却透过滴满雨点的窗户照射了进来。有一大片阳光正照射在三十二名犯人和大法官之间的空地上，由阳光把双方连在了一起，这样也许会提醒观众席中的某些人，使他们想到这双方都将受到新的审判，那是绝对平等的、全知全能的、绝不会有错的，最伟大的法官（上帝）将对他们进行审判。大法官提到的这位犯人这时站了起来，一张带有清楚斑痕的面孔映照在一片明亮的阳光之中，他说：“在天之主早就对我判了死刑，法官老爷，我现在恭领你的判决。”说毕又坐了下去。此时法庭要大家肃静，大法官又开始对其余的犯人讲演。再接下去，对犯人进行正式的宣判。宣判结束，有的犯人被扶着走了出去；有的虽面孔憔悴，却装出一副勇敢的神气，毫不在乎地大步而出；也有几个对旁听席点点头；还有两三个相互握手以示告别；还有的走出去时，在地上拾起几片散落的香草叶放进嘴里嚼了起来。而他是最后一位出去的，因为他必须有人把他从椅子中扶起来，步子慢慢吞吞。等全部犯人走了出去后，他握着我的手。这时旁听席上的听众也站了起来（整理一下他们的衣帽，就好像在教堂做完礼拜或在其他什么场合的情况一样），对这个或那个罪人指指划划。我看多半是指着他和我。
我诚心地希望并暗地祈求，他最好在法庭的审判记录公布之前悄然逝世，但是我担心他的生命还会延长下去，于是我决定当夜就向内务大臣上书请求对他宽恕，把自己所知的一切情况都写明，特别说明他是为了我而回国的。我在信中流露出急切而又伤感的情绪，尽一切可能表明自已心情，写完后又递呈上去。另外我又写了几封信给当局权威人士，我认为这些人具有慈悲的菩萨心肠。此外，我还写了一封信直接给国王陛下。在他判决之后好几个日夜我无法休息，天天为这些请求的信件伤神，有时累得竟然在椅子中便睡着了。自从递呈了那些请求的信件后，我经常不离那些投信的地方，心中自忖，只要我经常在这些地方走动，就会大有希望，不会遇到凶险。每遇黄昏时分，我在这些街上荡来荡去时，总要去到每一处投递请求信的官府或宅第，徘徊于周围，而心中却怀着莫名的不安和痛苦。一直到今天，只要在一个春日的夜晚，尘灰飘扬于空中，经过伦敦的西街区时，我就会感到一阵厌烦，会望着那一排排威严无比、大门紧闭的高门宅第，以及外面一行行明亮的街灯，回想起昔日情景，顿时一片愁云便会浮上心头。
每天我都到狱中探监，而探望的时间却一天比一天缩短，牢房对他的管理也越来越严。我看得出，也许只是我的幻想，我已经引起怀疑，担心我带进毒药把他毒死，所以我每次去都请求他们检查，然后再坐在他的身旁。我对那位总是守在那里的看守说，只要他相信我只为探监而来，别无其他用意，我就甘愿为他效劳。所有的人对他都不找麻烦，也不找我的麻烦。他们只是忠于职守，待人并不粗暴。看守几乎每一次都告诉我他的身体更坏了，住在同一四室的其他病犯，以及派来照顾病犯的犯人们（他们虽都是罪大恶极的人，噢，感谢在天之主，他们却也有慈爱之心），也都告诉我同样的信息，他的身体每况愈下。
随着时间的过去，我越来越看得清楚，他总是平静地躺在床上，眼睛直瞪瞪地望着白色的天花板，脸孔上密布着茫然的神情。我的话有时使他的面色闪过一道色彩，也不过一霎时，然后就又阴沉下去。有时他几乎或完全不能讲话，只能用手轻微地在我手上一按就作为回答，慢慢地我也便了解了他按一下的意思。
当时间到了第十天的时候，我看到在他身上起了一种巨大的变化，这是前所未见的。在我走进国室时他的眼睛正望着门口，一看见我他的面色就显得活跃起来。
“亲爱的孩子，”他说道，这时我已坐在他的床旁，“我想你今天来晚了。不过我知道你是不会来晚的。”
“我来的正准时，”我答道，“我在大门口等了一会儿。”
“你在大门口总是要等一下的，亲爱的孩子，对吗？”
“是的。我要抓紧每一分钟的时间。”
“谢谢你，亲爱的孩子，谢谢你。上帝保佑你！亲爱的孩子，你不会抛弃我的。”
我无言地把手放在他的手上，因为我心中还记忆犹新，我的确曾经想过抛弃他。
“最美好的事情是，”他对我说道，“自从乌云在我的上空浮游以来，你总是在我身边，安慰着我，比红日在我的上空高照时对我更加尽心尽力。这就是最美好的事情。”
他仰躺在床上，每一次呼吸都十分困难。虽然他很爱我，也很尽力想支撑住病体，但他面孔上的光彩总是不时消逝，在他凝望着白色天花板的宁静的面容上已经出现了一层薄薄的阴影。
“今天你感到很疼吗？”
“亲爱的孩子，我不疼。”
“你是不会抱怨叫苦的。”
他说完了最后的话语，微笑着，用手碰了一下我。我懂得他的意思，是要我抬起手放到他的胸口。我便把手放在他的胸口，他又微笑了，把他的双手放在我的手上。
就在这个时候，探监的规定时间已到，我掉头一望，看到典狱官正站在离我很近的地方。他对我低语道：“你先不要走。”我谢过他的好意，并且问道：“如果他能够听我的说话，我可以和他说几句吗？”
典狱官走开了，并且对看守也打了个招呼，要他也离开。这些变化都是在没有声息的情况下进行的，然而他凝望着白色天花板的宁静面容上的薄薄的阴影却顿时消失，充满柔情地望着我。
“亲爱的马格韦契，现在我有一件事不得不问你。你能听懂我的话吗？”
他轻轻地在我手上按了一下。
“你有过一个孩子，你爱她，但是你又失去了她。”
他在我手上略微按得重了一些。
“她还活着，和有权有势的人们来往。她现在还留在世上，生得非常美丽，已是一个贵妇人了。我很爱她。”
他使了最后的一点微弱气力，想把我的手送到他的嘴唇上，可是他再没有力量了。我看到这点，便顺着他把手放到他的嘴唇上，然后他轻微地让我的手又滑向他的胸口，又把他的双手放在我的手上面。这时他那凝望着白色天花板的宁静的目光暗淡了，消褪了，他的头安静地垂到了胸前。
这时我想起了曾给他读过的书，想到《圣经》中所说的有两个人到殿里去祷告。我知道我站在他的床边再不可能说些更好的话，只能说：“噢，主啊，对于他这个罪人大发慈悲吧！”
Chapter 57
NOW that I was left wholly to myself, I gave notice of my intention to quit the chambers in the Temple as soon as my tenancy could legally determine, and in the meanwhile to underlet them. At once I put bills up in the windows; for, I was in debt, and had scarcely any money, and began to be seriously alarmed by the state of my affairs. I ought rather to write that I should have been alarmed if I had energy and concentration enough to help me to the clear perception of any truth beyond the fact that I was falling very ill. The late stress upon me had enabled me to put off illness, but not to put it away; I knew that it was coming on me now, and I knew very little else, and was even careless as to that. 
For a day or two, I lay on the sofa, or on the floor - anywhere, according as I happened to sink down - with a heavy head and aching limbs, and no purpose, and no power. Then there came one night which appeared of great duration, and which teemed with anxiety and horror; and when in the morning I tried to sit up in my bed and think of it, I found I could not do so.
Whether I really had been down in Garden-court in the dead of the night, groping about for the boat that I supposed to be there; whether I had two or three times come to myself on the staircase with great terror, not knowing how I had got out of bed; whether I had found myself lighting the lamp, possessed by the idea that he was coming up the stairs, and that the lights were blown out; whether I had been inexpressibly harassed by the distracted talking, laughing, and groaning, of some one, and had half suspected those sounds to be of my own making; whether there had been a closed iron furnace in a dark corner of the room, and a voice had called out over and over again that Miss Havisham was consuming within it; these were things that I tried to settle with myself and get into some order, as I lay that morning on my bed. But, the vapour of a limekiln would come between me and them, disordering them all, and it was through the vapour at last that I saw two men looking at me.
`What do you want?' I asked, starting; `I don't know you.'
`Well, sir,' returned one of them, bending down and touching me on the shoulder, `this is a matter that you'll soon arrange, I dare say, but you're arrested.'
`What is the debt?'
`Hundred and twenty-three pound, fifteen, six. Jeweller's account, I think.'
`What is to be done?'
`You had better come to my house,' said the man. `I keep a very nice house.'
I made some attempt to get up and dress myself. When I next attended to them, they were standing a little off from the bed, looking at me. I still lay there.
`You see my state,' said I. `I would come with you if I could; but indeed I am quite unable. If you take me from here, I think I shall die by the way.'
Perhaps they replied, or argued the point, or tried to encourage me to believe that I was better than I thought. Forasmuch as they hang in my memory by only this one slender thread, I don't know what they did, except that they forbore to remove me.
That I had a fever and was avoided, that I suffered greatly, that I often lost my reason, that the time seemed interminable, that I confounded impossible existences with my own identity; that I was a brick in the house wall, and yet entreating to be released from the giddy place where the builders had set me; that I was a steel beam of a vast engine, clashing and whirling over a gulf, and yet that I implored in my own person to have the engine stopped, and my part in it hammered off; that I passed through these phases of disease, I know of my own remembrance, and did in some sort know at the time. That I sometimes struggled with real people, in the belief that they were murderers, and that I would all at once comprehend that they meant to do me good, and would then sink exhausted in their arms, and suffer them to lay me down, I also knew at the time. But, above all, I knew that there was constant tendency in all these people - who, when I was very ill, would present all kinds of extraordinary transformations of the human face, and would be much dilated in size - above all, I say, I knew that there was an extraordinary tendency in all these people, sooner or later to settle down into the likeness of Joe.
After I had turned the worst point of my illness, I began to notice that while all its other features changed, this one consistent feature did not change. Whoever came about me, still settled down into Joe. I opened my eyes in the night, and I saw in the great chair at the bedside, Joe. I opened my eyes in the day, and, sitting on the window-seat, smoking his pipe in the shaded open window, still I saw Joe. I asked for cooling drink, and the dear hand that gave it me was Joe's. I sank back on my pillow after drinking, and the face that looked so hopefully and tenderly upon me was the face of Joe.
At last, one day, I took courage, and said, `Is it Joe?'
And the dear old home-voice answered, `Which it air, old chap.'
`O Joe, you break my heart! Look angry at me, Joe. Strike me, Joe. Tell me of my ingratitude. Don't be so good to me!'
For, Joe had actually laid his head down on the pillow at my side and put his arm round my neck, in his joy that I knew him.
`Which dear old Pip, old chap,' said Joe, `you and me was ever friends. And when you're well enough to go out for a ride - what larks!'
After which, Joe withdrew to the window, and stood with his back towards me, wiping his eyes. And as my extreme weakness prevented me from getting up and going to him, I lay there, penitently whispering, `O God bless him! O God bless this gentle Christian man!'
Joe's eyes were red when I next found him beside me; but, I was holding his hand, and we both felt happy.
`How long, dear Joe?'
`Which you meantersay, Pip, how long have your illness lasted, dear old chap?'
`Yes, Joe.'
`It's the end of May, Pip. To-morrow is the first of June.'
`And have you been here all the time, dear Joe?'
`Pretty nigh, old chap. For, as I says to Biddy when the news of your being ill were brought by letter, which it were brought by the post and being formerly single he is now married though underpaid for a deal of walking and shoe-leather, but wealth were not a object on his part, and marriage were the great wish of his hart--'
`It is so delightful to hear you, Joe! But I interrupt you in what you said to Biddy.'
`Which it were,' said Joe, `that how you might be amongst strangers, and that how you and me having been ever friends, a wisit at such a moment might not prove unacceptabobble. And Biddy, her word were, "Go to him, without loss of time." That,' said Joe, summing up with his judicial air, `were the word of Biddy. "Go to him," Biddy say, "without loss of time." In short, I shouldn't greatly deceive you,' Joe added, after a little grave reflection, `if I represented to you that the word of that young woman were, "without a minute's loss of time."'
There Joe cut himself short, and informed me that I was to be talked to in great moderation, and that I was to take a little nourishment at stated frequent times, whether I felt inclined for it or not, and that I was to submit myself to all his orders. So, I kissed his hand, and lay quiet, while he proceeded to indite a note to Biddy, with my love in it.
Evidently, Biddy had taught Joe to write. As I lay in bed looking at him, it made me, in my weak state, cry again with pleasure to see the pride with which he set about his letter. My bedstead, divested of its curtains, had been removed, with me upon it, into the sittingroom, as the airiest and largest, and the carpet had been taken away, and the room kept always fresh and wholesome night and day. At my own writing-table, pushed into a corner and cumbered with little bottles, Joe now sat down to his great work, first choosing a pen from the pen-tray as if it were a chest of large tools, and tucking up his sleeves as if he were going to wield a crowbar or sledgehammer. It was necessary for Joe to hold on heavily to the table with his left elbow, and to get his right leg well out behind him, before he could begin, and when he did begin, he made every down-stroke so slowly that it might have been six feet long, while at every up-stroke I could hear his pen spluttering extensively. He had a curious idea that the inkstand was on the side of him where it was not, and constantly dipped his pen into space, and seemed quite satisfied with the result. Occasionally, he was tripped up by some orthographical stumbling-block, but on the whole he got on very well indeed, and when he had signed his name, and had removed a finishing blot from the paper to the crown of his head with his two forefingers, he got up and hovered about the table, trying the effect of his performance from various points of view as it lay there, with unbounded satisfaction.
Not to make Joe uneasy by talking too much, even if I had been able to talk much, I deferred asking him about Miss Havisham until next day. He shook his head when I then asked him if she had recovered.
`Is she dead, Joe?'
`Why you see, old chap,' said Joe, in a tone of remonstrance, and by way of getting at it by degrees, `I wouldn't go so far as to say that, for that's a deal to say; but she ain't--'
`Living, Joe?'
`That's nigher where it is,' said Joe; `she ain't living.'
`Did she linger long, Joe?'
`Arter you was took ill, pretty much about what you might call (if you was put to it) a week,' said Joe; still determined, on my account, to come at everything by degrees.
`Dear Joe, have you heard what becomes of her property?'
`Well, old chap,' said Joe, `it do appear that she had settled the most of it, which I meantersay tied it up, on Miss Estella. But she had wrote out a little coddleshell in her own hand a day or two afore the accident, leaving a cool four thousand to Mr Matthew Pocket. And why, do you suppose, above all things, Pip, she left that cool four thousand unto him? "Because of Pip's account of him the said Matthew." I am told by Biddy, that air the writing,' said Joe, repeating the legal turn as if it did him infinite good, `"account of him the said Matthew." And a cool four thousand, Pip!'
I never discovered from whom Joe derived the conventional temperature of the four thousand pounds, but it appeared to make the sum of money more to him, and he had a manifest relish in insisting on its being cool.
This account gave me great joy, as it perfected the only good thing I had done. I asked Joe whether he had heard if any of the other relations had any legacies?
`Miss Sarah,' said Joe, `she have twenty-five pound perannium fur to buy pills, on account of being bilious. Miss Georgiana, she have twenty pound down. Mrs - what's the name of them wild beasts with humps, old chap?'
`Camels?' said I, wondering why he could possibly want to know.
Joe nodded. `Mrs Camels,' by which I presently understood he meant Camilla, `she have five pound fur to buy rushlights to put her in spirits when she wake up in the night.'
The accuracy of these recitals was sufficiently obvious to me, to give me great confidence in Joe's information. `And now,' said Joe, `you ain't that strong yet, old chap, that you can take in more nor one additional shovel-full to-day. Old Orlick he's been a bustin'open a dwelling-ouse.'
`Whose?' said I.
`Not, I grant, you, but what his manners is given to blusterous,' said Joe, apologetically; `still, a Englishman's ouse is his Castle, and castles must not be busted 'cept when done in war time. And wotsume'er the failings on his part, he were a corn and seedsman in his hart.'
`Is it Pumblechook's house that has been broken into, then?'
`That's it, Pip,' said Joe; `and they took his till, and they took his cash-box, and they drinked his wine, and they partook of his wittles, and they slapped his face, and they pulled his nose, and they tied him up to his bedpust, and they giv' him a dozen, and they stuffed his mouth full of flowering annuals to prewent his crying out. But he knowed Orlick, and Orlick's in the country jail.'
By these approaches we arrived at unrestricted conversation. I was slow to gain strength, but I did slowly and surely become less weak, and Joe stayed with me, and I fancied I was little Pip again.
For, the tenderness of Joe was so beautifully proportioned to my need, that I was like a child in his hands. He would sit and talk to me in the old confidence, and with the old simplicity, and in the old unassertive protecting way, so that I would half believe that all my life since the days of the old kitchen was one of the mental troubles of the fever that was gone. He did everything for me except the household work, for which he had engaged a very decent woman, after paying off the laundress on his first arrival. `Which I do assure you, Pip,' he would often say, in explanation of that liberty; `I found her a tapping the spare bed, like a cask of beer, and drawing off the feathers in a bucket, for sale. Which she would have tapped yourn next, and draw'd it off with you a laying on it, and was then a carrying away the coals gradiwally in the souptureen and wegetable-dishes, and the wine and spirits in your Wellington boots.'
We looked forward to the day when I should go out for a ride, as we had once looked forward to the day of my apprenticeship. And when the day came, and an open carriage was got into the Lane, Joe wrapped me up, took me in his arms, carried me down to it, and put me in, as if I were still the small helpless creature to whom he had so abundantly given of the wealth of his great nature.
And Joe got in bedside me, and we drove away together into the country, where the rich summer growth was already on the trees and on the grass, and sweet summer scents filled all the air. The day happened to be Sunday, and when I looked on the loveliness around me, and thought how it had grown and changed, and how the little wild flowers had been forming, and the voices of the birds had been strengthening, by day and by night, under the sun and under the stars, while poor I lay burning and tossing on my bed, the mere remembrance of having burned and tossed there, came like a check upon my peace. But, when I heard the Sunday bells, and looked around a little more upon the outspread beauty, I felt that I was not nearly thankful enough - that I was too weak yet, to be even that - and I laid my head on Joe's shoulder, as I had laid it long ago when he had taken me to the Fair or where not, and it was too much for my young senses.
More composure came to me after a while, and we talked as we used to talk, lying on the grass at the old Battery. There was no change whatever in Joe. Exactly what he had been in my eyes then, he was in my eyes still; just as simply faithful, and as simply right.
When we got back again and he lifted me out, and carried me - so easily - across the court and up the stairs, I thought of that eventful Christmas Day when he had carried me over the marshes. We had not yet made any allusion to my change of fortune, nor did I know how much of my late history he was acquainted with. I was so doubtful of myself now, and put so much trust in him, that I could not satisfy myself whether I ought to refer to it when he did not.
`Have you heard, Joe,' I asked him that evening, upon further consideration, as he smoked his pipe at the window, `who my patron was?'
`I heerd,' returned Joe, `as it were not Miss Havisham, old chap.'
`Did you hear who it was, Joe?'
`Well! I heerd as it were a person what sent the person what giv'you the bank-notes at the Jolly Bargemen, Pip.'
`So it was.'
`Astonishing!' said Joe, in the placidest way.
`Did you hear that he was dead, Joe?' I presently asked, with increasing diffidence.
`Which? Him as sent the bank-notes, Pip?'
`Yes.'
`I think,' said Joe, after meditating a long time, and looking rather evasively at the window-seat, `as I did hear tell that how he were something or another in a general way in that direction.'
`Did you hear anything of his circumstances, Joe?'
`Not partickler, Pip.'
`If you would like to hear, Joe--' I was beginning, when Joe got up and came to my sofa.
`Lookee here, old chap,' said Joe, bending over me. `Ever the best of friends; ain't us, Pip?'
I was ashamed to answer him.
`Wery good, then,' said Joe, as if I had answered; `that's all right, that's agreed upon. Then why go into subjects, old chap, which as betwixt two sech must be for ever onnecessary? There's subjects enough as betwixt two sech, without onnecessary ones. Lord! To think of your poor sister and her Rampages! And don't you remember Tickler?'
`I do indeed, Joe.'
`Lookee here, old chap,' said Joe. `I done what I could to keep you and Tickler in sunders, but my power were not always fully equal to my inclinations. For when your poor sister had a mind to drop into you, it were not so much,' said Joe, in his favourite argumentative way, `that she dropped into me too, if I put myself in opposition to her but that she dropped into you always heavier for it. I noticed that. It ain't a grab at a man's whisker, not yet a shake or two of a man (to which your sister was quite welcome), that 'ud put a man off from getting a little child out of punishment. But when that little child is dropped into, heavier, for that grab of whisker or shaking, then that man naterally up and says to himself, "Where is the good as you are a doing? I grant you I see the 'arm," says the man, "but I don't see the good. I call upon you, sir, theerfore, to pint out the good."'
`The man says?' I observed, as Joe waited for me to speak.
`The man says,' Joe assented. `Is he right, that man?'
`Dear Joe, he is always right.'
`Well, old chap,' said Joe, `then abide by your words. If he's always right (which in general he's more likely wrong), he's right when he says this: - Supposing ever you kep any little matter to yourself, when you was a little child, you kep it mostly because you know'd as J. Gargery's power to part you and Tickler in sunders, were not fully equal to his inclinations. Theerfore, think no more of it as betwixt two sech, and do not let us pass remarks upon onnecessary subjects. Biddy giv' herself a deal o' trouble with me afore I left (for I am almost awful dull), as I should view it in this light, and, viewing it in this light, as I should so put it. Both of which,' said Joe, quite charmed with his logical arrangement, `being done, now this to you a true friend, say. Namely. You mustn't go a over-doing on it, but you must have your supper and your wine-and-water, and you must be put betwixt the sheets.'
The delicacy with which Joe dismissed this theme, and the sweet tact and kindness with which Biddy - who with her woman's wit had found me out so soon - had prepared him for it, made a deep impression on my mind. But whether Joe knew how poor I was, and how my great expectations had all dissolved, like our own marsh mists before the sun, I could not understand.
Another thing in Joe that I could not understand when it first began to develop itself, but which I soon arrived at a sorrowful comprehension of, was this: As I became stronger and better, Joe became a little less easy with me. In my weakness and entire dependence on him, the dear fellow had fallen into the old tone, and called me by the old names, the dear `old Pip, old chap,' that now were music in my ears. I too had fallen into the old ways, only happy and thankful that he let me. But, imperceptibly, though I held by them fast, Joe's hold upon them began to slacken; and whereas I wondered at this, at first, I soon began to understand that the cause of it was in me, and that the fault of it was all mine.
Ah! Had I given Joe no reason to doubt my constancy, and to think that in prosperity I should grow cold to him and cast him off? Had I given Joe's innocent heart no cause to feel instinctively that as I got stronger, his hold upon me would be weaker, and that he had better loosen it in time and let me go, before I plucked myself away?
It was on the third or fourth occasion of my going out walking in the Temple Gardens leaning on Joe's arm, that I saw this change in him very plainly. We had been sitting in the bright warm sunlight, looking at the river, and I chanced to say as we got up:
`See, Joe! I can walk quite strongly. Now, you shall see me walk back by myself.'
`Which do not over-do it, Pip,' said Joe; `but I shall be happy fur to see you able, sir.'
The last word grated on me; but how could I remonstrate! I walked no further than the gate of the gardens, and then pretended to be weaker than I was, and asked Joe for his arm. Joe gave it me, but was thoughtful.
I, for my part, was thoughtful too; for, how best to check this growing change in Joe, was a great perplexity to my remorseful thoughts. That I was ashamed to tell him exactly how I was placed, and what I had come down to, I do not seek to conceal; but, I hope my reluctance was not quite an unworthy one. He would want to help me out of his little savings, I knew, and I knew that he ought not to help me, and that I must not suffer him to do it.
It was a thoughtful evening with both of us. But, before we went to bed, I had resolved that I would wait over to-morrow, to-morrow being Sunday, and would begin my new course with the new week. On Monday morning I would speak to Joe about this change, I would lay aside this last vestige of reverse, I would tell him what I had in my thoughts (that Secondly, not yet arrived at), and why I had not decided to go out to Herbert, and then the change would be conquered for ever. As I cleared, Joe cleared, and it seemed as though he had sympathetically arrived at a resolution too.
We had a quite day on the Sunday, and we rode out into the country, and then walked in the fields.
`I feel thankful that I have been ill, Joe,' I said.
`Dear old Pip, old chap, you're a'most come round, sir.'
`It has been a memorable time for me, Joe.'
`Likeways for myself, sir,' Joe returned.
`We have had a time together, Joe, that I can never forget. There were days once, I know, that I did for a while forget; but I never shall forget these.'
`Pip,' said Joe, appearing a little hurried and troubled, `there has been larks, And, dear sir, what have been betwixt us - have been.'
At night, when I had gone to bed, Joe came into my room, as he had done all through my recovery. He asked me if I felt sure that I was as well as in the morning?
`Yes, dear Joe, quite.'
`And are always a getting stronger, old chap?'
`Yes, dear Joe, steadily.'
Joe patted the coverlet on my shoulder with his great good hand, and said, in what I thought a husky voice, `Good night!'
When I got up in the morning, refreshed and stronger yet, I was full of my resolution to tell Joe all, without delay. I would tell him before breakfast. I would dress at once and go to his room and surprise him; for, it was the first day I had been up early. I went to his room, and he was not there. Not only was he not there, but his box was gone.
I hurried then to the breakfast-table, and on it found a letter. These were its brief contents.
`Not wishful to intrude I have departured fur you are well again dear Pip and will do better without `JO. 
`P.S. Ever the best of friends.'
Enclosed in the letter, was a receipt for the debt and costs on which I had been arrested. Down to that moment I had vainly supposed that my creditor had withdrawn or suspended proceedings until I should be quite recovered. I had never dreamed of Joe's having paid the money; but, Joe had paid it, and the receipt was in his name. 
What remained for me now, but to follow him to the dear old forge, and there to have out my disclosure to him, and my penitent remonstrance with him, and there to relieve my mind and heart of that reserved Secondly, which had begun as a vague something lingering in my thoughts, and had formed into a settled purpose?
The purpose was, that I would go to Biddy, that I would show her how humbled and repentant I came back, that I would tell her how I had lost all I once hoped for, that I would remind her of our old confidences in my first unhappy time. Then, I would say to her, `Biddy, I think you once liked me very well, when my errant heart, even while it strayed away from you, was quieter and better with you than it ever has been since. If you can like me only half as well once more, if you can take me with all my faults and disappointments on my head, if you can receive me like a forgiven child (and indeed I am as sorry, Biddy, and have as much need of a hushing voice and a soothing hand), I hope I am a little worthier of you that I was - not much, but a little. And, Biddy, it shall rest with you to say whether I shall work at the forge with Joe, or whether I shall try for any different occupation down in this country, or whether we shall go away to a distant place where an opportunity awaits me, which I set aside when it was offered, until I knew your answer. And now, dear Biddy, if you can tell me that you will go through the world with me, you will surely make it a better world for me, and me a better man for it, and I will try hard to make it a better world for you.'
Such was my purpose. After three days more of recovery, I went down to the old place, to put it in execution; and how I sped in it, is all I have left to tell.
 
现在整个就剩下我一个人了，我告诉了房东我自己的打算，等到租约期满，我就退掉寺区的房屋，在未满之前，我打算分租一些出去。我立刻便在窗子上贴上了招租的广告。此时我已负债很多，手头几乎没有钱了。处于如此的情况下我这才慌得手足无措。也许我该这样写，如果正视一下现实，好好地理一理头绪，集中力量想一下，我早该慌得手足无措了，而我却全然不顾，只知道大病正在来临。最近的忙碌使我暂时没有生病，但病魔并未离开。我知道大病正在向我袭来，别的我就知道甚少了，而且我对它也毫不注意。
在最初的一两天之间，我躺在沙发上，或者躺在地上，只要偶然我在哪里躺下也就睡在哪儿。我感到头昏脑涨，四肢疼痛，思想毫无目的，身体毫无气力。接下去又是黑夜，漫长而充满了焦虑和恐惧。等到次日早晨，我企图坐在床上并想想过去的情况，然而我如何也没有办法做到。
上午我躺在床上，想把夜里的思绪好好整理一下，弄出一些头绪。在那寂静的深夜我是不是真的去到花园里，摸到那个我以为系着船的地方；我究竟有没有在楼梯上两三次昏倒而又苏醒，心中万分惊慌，不知道自己究竟是如何从床上下来的；我究竟有没有疑神见鬼地感到他正爬上楼梯，而楼上的灯光亦已经熄灭，我正要去点燃呢；究竟有没有一个人那么神魂颠倒地说着，笑着，呻吟着，弄得我说不出来的苦恼，甚至使我怀疑这些全是自己发出的声音呢；在这间屋子的一个黑暗角落究竟有没有一座关闭着的熔铁炉，以及一个声音一次又一次地呼喊着里面正在火化郝维仙小姐，等等。在我胡乱的思想中忽然一股石灰窑的白色烟雾袅袅而起，把一切想理顺的事情全部打乱，最后在烟雾中我仿佛见到有两个人正盯着我望。
“你们要干什么？”我惊慌地问道，“我不认识你们。”
“唔，先生，”他们当中的一个人弯下腰来拍拍我的肩膀，答道，“有一件事你得赶快处理一下，我敢说，否则你会被逮捕的。”
“有多少债务？”
“一共是一百二十三镑十五先令六便士。我看，这是你欠珠宝商的账款。”
“你们想怎么样呢？”
“你最好到我家里去一趟，”此人说道，“我家里的房屋是很不错的。”
我想从床上起来并穿好衣服，然后我又看看他们，发现他们已站得离床远远的，正在注视着我，而我仍然躺在床上。
“你们看看我现在的状况，”我说道，“我只要起得来我就会同你们去，可是我实在没有法儿。你们一定要把我带走，我怕会死在路上的。”
也许他们答应了几句，也许他们争辩了一下，也许他们还在鼓励我，说我身体不像我所说的那么差。那次所发生的事在我脑中留下的只有这点线索。我不知道当时他们究竟干了什么，只知道他们没有把我带走。
我记得我是在发烧，来人也许因此而离开了。我痛苦地忍受着疾病的折磨，时常因昏迷而失去理智，好像什么事情都无穷无尽；我神志昏迷，根本分不清现实和我本身。我好像是房屋墙壁中的一块砖，是造房子的人把我砌进去的，我请求赶快把我从这眼花缭乱头昏目眩的地方拉开；我又好像成了一台巨大的机器里的一根钢轴，架在一座深渊上面碰撞着，旋转着，我多么希望这台机器停下来，把我这钢轴从上面卸下来。这些都是我当时病中情况，是我今天能回忆起来的，在当时也知道一些的情况。比如当时我以为来的人是杀手，有时我和他们格斗起来，一会儿我又以为他们来都是为了我好，因而全身无力地倒在他们怀抱之中，让他们扶着我躺下来。特别有一件事我记忆犹新，我记得当时那些人总是会发生一种情况，因为我在痛苦难挨的病中，他们的形象都变得古里古怪，甚至会无限地扩大与膨胀；然而，无论这些形象怎么古里古怪，迟早总会化成一个形象，那就是乔的形象。
我最严重的病情过去了，在病情转好的时候我注意到一切奇怪的形象都已消失，而剩下的一个形象却再也不变。无论是谁来到我身边，结果都会变成乔。在深夜我睁开双眼，看到在床边的那张大椅子里坐着的是乔；在白天我又从沉睡中睁开双眼，看到在窗台上坐着并且在窗篷下抽着烟斗的人是乔；我要喝些清凉饮料，那只把清凉饮料递给我的亲切的手是乔的手；饮完后我重新把头放在枕头上，这时有一张怀有希望、充满情义望着我的脸，那是乔的脸。
有一天，我终于鼓起勇气，问道：“真的是乔在这里吗？”
传来一句家乡的口音，那么亲切，那么熟悉，“是啊，我的老弟。”
“噢，乔啊，你把我的心砸碎吧！你对我发火吧！乔，你来打我吧！你说我忘恩负义吧，千万别待我这么好！”
乔看到我认出了他，非常高兴地把头挨着我放在枕头上，用一只手臂搂着我的脖子。
“亲爱的皮普，我的老弟，”乔说道，“你和我是永远的朋友，等你身体康复了，我们一起乘车出外走走，那可多好啊！”
乔说完后便退到窗口，背对着我站在那里用手擦着他的眼睛。因为我身体极度虚弱，不能起来到他身边去安慰他，我只有躺在床上，带着忏悔般的口吻喃喃低语：“愿上帝保佑他！愿上帝保佑这位温和的基督教徒吧！”
然后他又回到我的身边，他的双眼红通通的，于是我握住他的手，我们都感到沉浸在幸福之中。
“多长时间啦，亲爱的乔？”
“皮普，你的意思是问你病了有多少时间了，是吗，亲爱的老弟？”
“是啊，乔。”
“今天是五月底，皮普，明天就是六月份的第一天。”
“你一直都待在这儿吗，亲爱的乔？”
“差不多吧，老弟。我接到信知道你有病，我就对毕蒂说了。信是由一位邮差送来的，这个人原先是个单身汉，可现在他结婚了，虽然送信要走很多路，要穿破许多皮鞋，但不能发财，不过发财不是他心头之愿，他心里最大的愿望是结婚——”
“我听你这么说很高兴，乔！不过我得打断你的话头，你刚才说对毕蒂说什么来着？”
乔说道：“是这样的，我说你住在外地，专门和生人打交道。你和我又一直是老朋友，在你生病的时候来看看你，你不会不欢迎的。毕蒂听了后说：‘你到他那里去，抓紧时间去。’”乔又用一种权衡利弊的审慎神态总结般地说道：“毕蒂的话是‘你到他那里去，抓紧时间去。’总之，我不会对你讲假话的。”他作了一番严肃认真的思考之后又补充说道：“这位年轻姑娘说的意思可以这样解释，‘不要耽搁，马上就去。’”
乔说到这里便结束了，他告诉我讲话要适可而止，不能过多，又说我该补充一些营养，无论我想不想补充营养，都得按照规定时间多吃些，而且我得服从他的规定。听了他的话，我便亲吻着他的手，然后安静地睡在床上，他便去给毕蒂写信，并附上一句说我向她问好。
十分明显，毕蒂已经教会乔写信了。我躺在床上，观看他的一举一动，由于我生性的弱点，一看到他居然能写信，一种因骄傲而喜悦的心情竟然使我又一次流下眼泪来。我发现我所睡的床铺上的账子已经拆去，床和我本人也被搬进了会客室。这里大而明亮，空气流通，地毯也已被搬走，整个房间保持着清新。日夜通风，健康宜人。我的写字台被推到了一个角落，上面乱七八糟地堆着小药瓶。乔坐在这张桌边开始了伟大的工作。他一开始先在文具盒中挑了一支钢笔，就好像在大工具柜子中挑选工具一样，然后把袖口卷好向上拉拉，好像准备挥舞他的大撬棍和大铁锤一样。在他写字之前，他先把左胳膊肘用力地抵住桌面，再把他的右腿一直向后伸到椅子后面。他写字时，每一向下的笔划都很慢，真像拖了六英尺长一样，而每一向上的笔划，在写时都可以听到墨水向四面八方溅出的声音。还有一件奇怪的事，他总以为墨水瓶放在这边，其实他是放在另外一边，所以他去蘸墨水总蘸个空，可是他看上去却是自以为是的样子。有时会遇上个把拼写不出的字阻碍他写信，但总的说来信写得还算顺利。在他最后签好名字后，便用两只食指擦最后一团留在信纸上的墨迹，然后又把指头在帽子上擦了擦。站起来后，他在桌子四周绕着圈子走，心情无限满意地从各个侧面来欣赏自己的表演效果。
当时我不想谈得过多，即使我能够多谈也不想多谈，因为我怕这样使乔担忧。所以一直到第二天，我才问他关于郝维仙小姐的情况。我问他，她是不是已经康复？而他听了摇摇头。
“乔，她死了吗？”
“怎么，我的老弟，你知道，”乔用一种劝告的口吻，和一种渐进的方法说道，“我是不会这样说的，因为这样说的口气太重了；不过她已不——”
“已经不在世了，对不对，乔？”
“这样说还差不多，”乔说道，“她已不在世了。”
“乔，她抱了很久吗？”
“要是让你说，你会说是在你病后大约一个星期吧。”乔说道。看来他是为了我才用这种逐步渐进的方法委婉答复的。
“亲爱的乔，你听说关于她的财产是怎样处理的了吗？”
“哦，我的老弟，”乔说道，“好像是大部分遗产都给了埃斯苔娜，我是说这早就处理好了的。不过，在她去世之前一两天她又追加了一条，留给马休•鄱凯特先生四千英镑整。皮普，你可知道她是怎么样留给他四千英镑整的？是‘根据皮普对马休的意见’。这是毕蒂告诉我的，毕蒂说她就是这样写的。”乔说着又重复了这追加的句子：“‘根据皮普对马休的意见’，留给他四千英镑整。”好像这句话对他有无限的好处。
乔对这个“整”字特别感到兴趣，津津乐道。我实在不知道乔是从谁那里得到“整”这个词的习惯性理解的，也许他以为在四千英镑上加个“整”字，钱的总数就会多一些。
然而他这样却使我非常高兴，因为这是我做的唯一一件好事，如今总算大功告成。我又问乔，他听没听说过其他亲戚对郝维仙小姐遗产继承的情况。
乔说道：“莎娜小姐每年可得二十五镑，因为她肝火旺，脾气暴躁，这钱是让她买药丸吃的。乔其亚娜小姐获得二十镑，还有一位什么夫人，我想起来了，我的老兄弟，有种动物背上有峰的叫什么？”
我不知道为什么他要想晓得这种动物的名称，我说道：“是‘卡美尔’吗？”
乔点头答道：“是卡美尔夫人。”听了他这一说，我才恍然大悟，原来他是指卡美拉。“她得到五镑，这是给她买灯草芯蜡烛用的，因为夜里睡不着时点亮灯，精神情绪可以稳定一些。”
乔一五一十告诉我的事情我非常相信，因为我觉得他所说的都确实可靠。乔然后又对我说道：“你目前身体还不太好，我的老兄弟，我今天只能再告诉你一件事，也仅此一件。老奥立克居然闯进了别人的屋子。”
“谁的？”我问道。
“我同意你过去的看法，不过，他的那副样子就是粗鲁成性的，”乔有些道歉似的说道，“要知道，一个英国人的家庭就是一个城堡，既是城堡就不能乱闯进去，至于战争年代是例外。他不管怎么有缺点，好歹是个粮食种子商人吧。”
“那么你说的就是彭波契克喽，是他的家被抢劫了吗？”
“皮普，一点不错，”乔说道，“他们抢了他的钱柜，抢了他的现金箱子，喝了他的酒，分享了他的食品，还在他的脸上抽耳光，拉他的鼻子，又把他捆在自己的床架上，并且打了他一顿，又用各种粮食种子塞满他一嘴，使他想喊也喊不出。不过他认识奥立克，自然奥立克被关进了县里的牢房。”
我们谈着谈着便随便起来，无拘无束了。我的精神恢复得很慢，但是却在一点一点地恢复着，好转着，稍微强壮了一些。乔待在我的身边，我想我又变成了小皮普。
乔对我可谓是无微不至地关怀照顾，凡是我需要照顾的地方他全想到了，就像照顾一个孩子那样地照顾我。他坐在那里和我谈话，依旧如同昔日那般亲切，如同昔日那般纯真，如同昔日那般体贴入微，一切从维护我出发，以至于我几乎相信自从我告别昔日故居的厨房以来，我的生活只不过是一场发烧造成的心灵混乱，甚至幻梦，如今已从迷梦中醒来，发烧也已退去。他在这里除了家务之外什么事都为我做。他一来到我这里便打发走了原来的洗衣妇，又为我雇了一个非常正派的妇女做家务。他时常对我说，他之所以未经我同意就擅自决定这件事自有其理由，“皮普，事情是完全正确的，我看到原来的那个洗衣妇总是在拍那张不睡人的床，把拍出来的鸭绒都装进一只桶，拿去卖掉。我看她下一次就会来拍你睡的这张床了，把你被子里的鸭绒都拍光，然后就会用你的汤盘儿菜碟儿把你的煤屑一点点运走，就会用你的长统靴子把你的酒什么的也都带走。”
我们盼望着那一天的到来，那时我们就可以一同乘车外出了，就好像当年我们盼望当他学徒的日子一样。果然这一天到了，一辆敞篷马车赶到了巷子里，乔把我裹好，用双臂抱起我，把我送到楼下，放进车里，好像我还是一个无可奈何的小东西，一切都要依靠他纯朴真实天性的百般关怀。
在车上，乔坐在我的身边，马车一直驶向乡间。一片夏季的色彩，绿树葱葱，青草茂盛，夏季特有的香气充溢于空间。这一天又正巧是星期天，我举目四望，周围一片可爱的景象。我暗自思忖，世界变化多快，看那娇嫩的野花漫地遍野，好不茂盛；那善歌的鸟儿起劲地唱着，好不动听；世间万物白天在阳光的照耀下，夜晚在星星的洗礼下，在茂盛成长。而这个阶段中我却躺在床上，可怜地发着高烧，整天噩梦，无法安眠。只要一想起卧床发烧、整天噩梦的日子，立刻我心灵的平静就被打破。但是，每当我听到教堂响起做礼拜的钟声。每当我看到四周铺开的一片自然美景时，我立刻也就感到，我心头虽然愉快但仍旧力不从心，我的身体仍旧在孱弱之中，以至于我不得不把自己的头依偎在乔的肩膀上，好像孩提时代他带着我去赶集或去其他什么地方时的情景一样，幼稚的感官过分激动时反而疲倦了。
一会儿之后我扰乱的心又平静下来，我们像昔日谈天一样在谈论着，像昔日躺在古炮台旁的草地上一样躺在草地上。乔依然是当年的乔，一点也没有变。过去在我眼里的乔和现在在我眼里的乔一样。他依旧如同昔日那般纯朴忠实，依旧如同昔日那般纯洁正直。
从乡下回到寺区，他又把我抱起，然后轻而易举地把我背起，走过庭院，爬上楼梯，这不禁使我回想起昔日的那一个圣诞节之夜他背着我去沼泽地的一幕情景。我们谈论中还没有提到过我这个阶段的命运变化，我也不知道他对我最近的生活经历知道到何种程度。我现在一切都信赖他，他现在没有涉及到这件事，我真不知道是否要把这件事告诉他。
当天晚上他正在窗口抽着他的烟斗，我在充分的考虑之后问他：“你是不是听说过我的恩主是谁？”
“我听说过，”乔答道，“老弟，我知道不是郝维仙小姐。”
“乔，你听别人讲了是谁吗？”
“唔！皮普，我听说是那个派人来在三个快乐的船夫酒店里送钞票给你的人。”
“就是那个人。”
“真叫人想不到。’下显得很平静地对我说道。
“乔，你听说他死了吗？”我立刻又问道，心里很没有底。
“你说什么人，皮普？是那个派人把钞票送来给你的人？”
“是啊。”
“我想，”乔思索了好长一会儿，把眼光避开我，望着窗洞下的椅子，“我确听到有人说过，虽然说的方式各有不同，不过意思都和这差不多。”
“乔，你听到过有人谈到他的一些情况吗？”
“我倒没有特别听到别人说起，皮普。”
乔站了起来并向我坐的沙发走来，我便开始对他说：“要是你喜欢听的话，乔——”
而乔俯身看着我，说道：“老弟，你听我说。皮普，我们永远是最好的朋友，你说我们是吗？”
我羞愧得无言以答。
“那么，这就行了，”乔仿佛我已作了回答似的说道，“这就很好了，我们的意见就一致了。噢，我的老弟，既然这样，我们何必去谈论我们两个人都没有必要谈论的话题呢？我们有很多话题可以讨论，何必非谈这没有必要的话题呢？在天之主啊！你可想到那可怜的姐姐吗？想到她那喜怒无常的脾气吗？你可记得那根呵痒的棍子吗？”
“我完全记得呢，乔。”
“我的老弟，你听我说，”乔说道，“你记得在那根呵痒棍飞舞过来时，我总是尽量挡住它，不过我的能力有限，不是每次都能如愿以偿的。一旦你那可怜的姐姐居心要打你一顿时，”乔又开始用他那惯用的大发议论的神气说道，“我要是挡上去不让她打，事情就更糟了，她就要更加重重地打你。我看出了这件事，我知道，这一来她就先揪我的胡子，然后把我的身子摇上几摇（你姐姐过去的这行为我是多次领教），如果这样一来，那个小孩子免得被打倒也算了。可是那个小孩子到头来还是被打一顿，而且打得更重，我的胡子也被掀了，我的身子也被摇了，于是久而久之我从中悟出道理，心想，‘这样做有什么好处？我看到的只是伤害，而看不到任何好处。’所以，先生，我要你来说好处究竟在哪里？”
乔正等着我回答，我便说道：“你是这么想的吗？”
“我是这样想的，”乔同意地答道，“你说我想得对吗？”
“亲爱的乔，你想的永远都对。”
“唔，老弟，”乔说道，“你这样说就得坚持这样想。其实说我的话永远对，我倒认为我说的话很可能更多是错的，如果有对的，那我说的这句话是对的，即在你小时候，你隐瞒了一些小事，你之所以隐瞒，主要是因为你知道葛奇里在阻挡你姐姐的呵痒棍时是力不从心的。所以，我们两个人就不必去想这件事了，也不去谈论这些没有必要谈论的主题。在我这次来你这儿之前，毕蒂花了很多精力帮我出主意（因为我很笨拙），要我如此地看问题，如此地说，等等。’乔对他自己的这一套有理有节的议论感到很得意，他又说：“现在这两点都已做到。你是我真正的朋友，我就得对你讲真话。也就是说，你不必想入非非，现在你就应该吃晚饭，应该喝兑水酒，应该裹着被单睡觉。”
乔离开了这个话题是做了精心安排的；毕蒂以女性特有的智慧早就对我了如指掌，她运用柔密的机智和善良的心肠对乔作了心灵的开启，给我留下了深刻的印象。至于乔是否知道我如何穷，我的大笔遗产和远大前程已经消融，就像沼泽地上的太阳使雾气消融一样，我不得而知。
还有一件发生在乔身上的事，在刚刚开始时，我对它无法理解，但不久便有所悟，这简直是一件令人悲伤的事。原来当我的身体开始由弱而强，由重病而复原的时候，乔对我好像出现了些不调和。因为还在我病得不能起床时，我需要完全依赖他，我的老伙伴以昔日的声调，以昔日的称呼来称呼我，叫我，如亲爱的皮普，亲爱的老弟等。这对我来说就如心中的音乐。我也用昔日的老调子对待他，他允许我这样称呼，我内心只有幸福与感激。可是，在不知不觉之间，我对他虽一如往故，乔对我却有了一些微妙的疏远。起先，我对此茫然不解，不久，我便察其原因，一切都出自我，一切的错误都是我造成的。
啊！这都是由于我对他的态度而使乔得到一个结论，怀疑我的忠诚，等到患难一过，我就会逐渐对他冷淡，而最后把他抛弃。本来乔有一颗无辜的心，而我使他生出了戒心，因此他从本能上意识到，当我身体由弱而强时，他对我的信任便开始转弱，他想，与其等到我从他身边挣脱而出，不如在适当时候放手让我自去为佳。
记得在第三次或第四次去往寺区花园进行散步，我依偎着乔的胳膊缓缓而行时，我端详出他身上的这种变化已相当明显。我们在光亮而又温暖的阳光下小坐休息，眺望着河上风光。当我们站起来时，我偶然对他说道：
“乔，你看！我身体强得能自己走了。看，我自己就可以走回去。”
“你可不要劳累过度，皮普，”乔说道，“不过，先生，我能看到你走回去，我心中可高兴呢。”
这里他用了“先生”一词，叫起来就很刺耳，但是，我怎么能提出抗议呢！所以只走到花园的门口时，我便假装着对他说现在我不行了，比过去还不如，请他用手臂扶住我。乔扶着我走，我看这时他已心事重重。
至于我本人，也同样心事重重，究竟用什么办法才能阻止乔的这种心理变化，我忏悔的心里是非常惶恐不安的。可是要我以详情实告，又难以启齿，我本不该向他隐瞒，应全盘告诉他我目前的处境已是无路可走了。不过我向他瞒了这些不能说一无理由，我内心明白，只要我以实情相告，他就会提供给我他那点可怜的积蓄。我心中明白，我不能让他来帮我忙，要他帮我忙，我也于心不安。
这一个夜晚对我们两个人来说都是心事重重的。我在睡觉之前却想到我已下了决心，过了明天再说，因为明天是星期天，我想从新的一周的开始，开始一种新的生活。我准备在星期一上午和乔开诚布公，谈谈他的变化，把我保留在思想中的最后痕迹摆脱，我要告诉他尚存在我心头的秘密（这是心中保留的第二件事，至今尚未泄密）。我要告诉他为什么我不下决心到赫伯特那里去。我想，这样我和他开诚布公，他身上的变化自然会被克服。我澄清了事实真相，乔也会澄清了事实真相，我作出了决定，他也会心情和谐地作出决定。
星期天我们过得十分恬静自在，乘车去到乡间，然后漫步在田间。
“乔，我生了这么一场大病，得感谢上天才是。”我说道。
“亲爱的皮普，我的老朋友，老兄弟，你已全部好了，先生。”
“乔，对我说来，这一个阶段是多么值得纪念啊。”
“先生，对我说来也是一样。”乔答道。
“乔，我们有这么一段日子共同生活，我将终身不忘。我知道，我们过去的日子我确实忘记了一会儿；不过这些日子我们的共同相处，我永远不会忘记的。”
“皮普，”乔似乎带些儿烦恼而慌忙地说道，“我们过得可高兴啦，亲爱的先生，我们以往的事已经过去了。”
晚间我已经睡到了床上时，乔来到我的房间，在我这段恢复的日子里，他每天晚上都来。他问我现在感觉如何，是否感到现在身体和上午时一样好。”
“一样好，亲爱的乔，我感到非常好。”
“老弟，你是不是感到越来越有力气了？”
“是这样，亲爱的乔，力气慢慢大起来了。”
乔用他那只又大又善良的手隔着被子拍拍我的肩头，对我说“晚安”，我听出他声音有些沙哑。
次日一早我便起身，感到精神爽朗，力气大增。我下定了决心把一切心头之事全盘告诉乔，再不拖延，准备在早饭之前便和他谈。于是我立刻穿好衣服，奔向他的房间，并且想使他大吃一惊，因为今天是我第一次起得如此之早。我一到他的房间，便看到他已不在；不仅他不在那里，而且人走物空，连他的箱子也不在了。
我又连忙向餐桌跑去，只见桌上放了一封信。信的内容简短，如下：
“你病体已康复，我不想再打扰你，故不辞而别。亲爱的皮普，没有了乔你会更好。乔”“我们永远是好朋友。又及。”
信封里还附着一张收据，这是替我还债的收据，正是这笔债使我差点被拘捕。事到如今我才知道事情真相，我本来还以为我的债主已经暂不索取，或者延迟日期，等我病好了再说。可是我做梦也想不到是乔给我付了钱，确确实实是乔给我还了债，收据上还有乔签的名字呢。
现在留在我心头的唯一的事，就是跟着乔去到那亲切的昔日的铁匠铺，向他一吐衷肠，把心中的秘密毫不保留地相告，并致以歉意，以表我内心的懊悔之意，直言不讳地告诉他我心头保留的第二件事。开始时这不过是一个模糊的影子，踌躇在我的心头迟迟不去，而最后终于形成了一项心愿。
我的这一个心愿就是我要回到毕蒂的身边，我要向她表明，如今我悔恨万分地丧魂落魄而归，我要向她倾吐我，已经失去一切我曾经想追求的，我要让她回忆起我们在最初不愉快的时刻相互交流的真情。然后我便对她说：“毕蒂，你曾经是那么喜欢我，而我的心却是浮游不定，结果误人歧途离开了你。只要和你在一起，我的心就比任何时候都要安宁与美好。只要你用从前的一半情感来喜欢我，只要你原谅我的一切缺点和过错，只要你像接受一个孩子那般地接受我，宽恕我（我的心情确实难受，毕蒂，我需要你的语言来平息我激动的心，我需要你的手来抚慰我心头的创伤），我就会比以往要好，虽然不是很好，至少有一点儿好。毕蒂，我今后的行程由你来决定，究竟是回到铁匠铺和乔朝夕相处，还是在国内无论什么地方找一个职业，或是我们两人去到一个遥远的地方，因为那里有一个机会正等待着我，非得到你的答复后我才能作出决定。而现在，亲爱的毕蒂，只要你告诉我你愿意和我在一起，我就会拥有一个新的世界，我就会成为一个新人，我就会努力奋斗，为你创造一个美好的世界。”
这就是我的心愿。我病体复原后的第三天，我便出发口到旧地，去寻找心头的愿望。我如此匆忙，就是为了把留下来的这件事情交代清楚。
Chapter 58
THE tidings of my high fortunes having had a heavy fall, had got down to my native place and its neighbourhood, before I got there. I found the Blue Boar in possession of the intelligence, and I found that it made a great change in the Boar's demeanour. Whereas the Boar had cultivated my good opinion with warm assiduity when I was coming into property, the Boar was exceedingly cool on the subject now that I was going out of property. 
It was evening when I arrived, much fatigued by the journey I had so often made so easily. The Boar could not put me into my usual bedroom, which was engaged (probably by some one who had expectations), and could only assign me a very indifferent chamber among the pigeons and post-chaises up the yard. But, I had as sound a sleep in that lodging as in the most superior accommodation the Boar could have given me, and the quality of my dreams was about the same as in the best bedroom.
Early in the morning while my breakfast was getting ready, I strolled round by Satis House. There were printed bills on the gate, and on bits of carpet hanging out of the windows, announcing a sale by auction of the Household Furniture and Effects, next week. The House itself was to be sold as old building materials and pulled down. LOT1 was marked in whitewashed knock-knee letters on the brew house; LOT2 on that part of the main building which had been so long shut up. Other lots were marked off on other parts of the structure, and the ivy had been torn down to make room for the inscriptions, and much of it trailed low in the dust and was withered already. Stepping in for a moment at the open gate and looking around me with the uncomfortable air of a stranger who had no business there, I saw the auctioneer's clerk walking on the casks and telling them off for the information of a catalogue compiler, pen in hand, who made a temporary desk of the wheeled chair I had so often pushed along to the tune of Old Clem.
When I got back to my breakfast in the Boar's coffee-room, I found Mr Pumblechook conversing with the landlord. Mr Pumblechook (not improved in appearance by his late nocturnal adventure) was waiting for me, and addressed me in the following terms.
`Young man, I am sorry to see you brought low. But what else could be expected! What else could be expected!'
As he extended his hand with a magnificently forgiving air, and as I was broken by illness and unfit to quarrel, I took it.
`William,' said Mr Pumblechook to the waiter, `put a muffin on table. And has it come to this! Has it come to this!'
I frowningly sat down t my breakfast. Mr Pumblechook stood over me and poured out my tea - before I could touch the teapot - with the air of a benefactor who was resolved to be true to the last.
`William,' said Mr Pumblechook, mournfully, `put the salt on. In happier times,' addressing me, `I think you too sugar. And did you take milk? You did. Sugar and milk. William, bring a watercress.'
`Thank you,' said I, shortly, `but I don't eat watercresses.'
`You don't eat 'em,' returned Mr Pumblechook, sighing and nodding his head several times, as if he might have expected that, and as if abstinence from watercresses were consistent with my downfall. `True. The simple fruits of the earth. No. You needn't bring any, William.'
I went on with my breakfast, and Mr Pumblechook continued to stand over me, staring fishily and breathing noisily, as he always did.
`Little more than skin and bone!' mused Mr Pumblechook, aloud. `And yet when he went from here (I may say with my blessing), and I spread afore him my humble store, like the Bee, he was as plump as a Peach!'
This reminded me of the wonderful difference between the servile manner in which he had offered his hand in my new prosperity, saying, `May I?' and the ostentatious clemency with which he had just now exhibited the same fat five fingers.
`Hah!' he went on, handing me the bread-and-butter. `And air you a going to Joseph?'
`In heaven's name,' said I, firing in spite of myself, `what does it matter to you where I am going? Leave that teapot alone.'
It was the worst course I could have taken, because it gave Pumblechook the opportunity he wanted.
`Yes, young man,' said he, releasing the handle of the article in question, retiring a step or two from my table, and speaking for the behoof of the landlord and waiter at the door, `I will leave that teapot alone. You are right, young man. For once, you are right. I forgit myself when I take such an interest in your breakfast, as to wish your frame, exhausted by the debilitating effects of prodigygality, to be stimilated by the 'olesome nourishment of your forefathers. And yet,' said Pumblechook, turning to the landlord and waiter, and pointing me out at arm's length, `this is him as I ever sported with in his days of happy infancy! Tell me not it cannot be; I tell you this is him!'
A low murmur from the two replied. The waiter appeared to be particularly affected.
`This is him,' said Pumblechook, `as I have rode in my shaycart. This is him as I have seen brought up by hand. This is him untoe the sister of which I was uncle by marriage, as her name was Georgiana M'ria from her own mother, let him deny it if he can!'
The waiter seemed convinced that I could not deny it, and that it gave the case a black look.
`Young man,' said Pumblechook, screwing his head at me in the old fashion, `you air a going to Joseph. What does it matter to me, you ask me, where you air going? I say to you, Sir, you air a going to Joseph.'
The waiter coughed, as if he modestly invited to get over that.
`Now,' said Pumblechook, and all this with a most exasperating air of saying in the cause of virtue what was perfectly convincing and conclusive, `I will tell you what to say to Joseph. Here is Squires of the Boar present, known and respected in this town, and here is William, which his father's name was Potkins if I do not deceive myself.'
`You do not, sir,' said William.
`In their presence,' pursued Pumblechook, `I will tell you, young man, what to say to Joseph. Says you, "Joseph, I have this day seen my earliest benefactor and the founder of my fortun's. I will name no names, Joseph, but so they are pleased to call him up-town, and I have seen that man."
`I swear I don't see him here,' said I.
`Say that likewise,' retorted Pumblechook. `Say you said that, and even Joseph will probably betray surprise.'
`There you quite mistake him,' said I. `I know better.'
`Says you,' Pumblechook went on, `"Joseph, I have seen that man, and that man bears you no malice and bears me no malice. He knows your character, Joseph, and is well acquainted with your pig-headedness and ignorance; and he knows my character, Joseph, and he knows my want of gratitoode. Yes, Joseph," says you,' here Pumblechook shook his head and hand at me, `"he knows my total deficiency of common human gratitoode. He knows it, Joseph, as none can. You do not know it, Joseph, having no call to know it, but that man do."'
Windy donkey as he was, it really amazed me that he could have the face to talk thus to mine.
`Says you, "Joseph, he gave me a little message, which I will now repeat. It was, that in my being brought low, he saw the finger of Providence. He knowed that finger when he saw it, Joseph, and he saw it plain. It pinted out this writing, Joseph. Reward of ingratitoode to his earliest benefactor, and founder of fortun's. But that man said he did not repent of what he had done, Joseph. Not at all. It was right to do it, it was kind to do it, it was benevolent to do it, and he would do it again."'
`It's pity,' said I, scornfully, as I finished my interrupted breakfast, `that the man did not say what he had done and would do again.'
`Squires of the Boar!' Pumblechook was now addressing the landlord, `and William! I have no objections to your mentioning, either up-town or down-town, if such should be your wishes, that it was right to do it, kind to do it, benevolent to do it, and that I would do it again.'
With those words the Impostor shook them both by the hand, with an air, and left the house; leaving me much more astonished than delighted by the virtues of that same indefinite `it.' `I was not long after him in leaving the house too, and when I went down the High-street I saw him holding forth (no doubt to the same effect) at his shop door to a select group, who honoured me with very unfavourable glances as I passed on the opposite side of the way.
But, it was only the pleasanter to turn to Biddy and to Joe, whose great forbearance shone more brightly than before, if that could be, contrasted with this brazen pretender. I went towards them slowly, for my limbs were weak, but with a sense of increasing relief as I drew nearer to them, and a sense of leaving arrogance and untruthfulness further and further behind.
The June weather was delicious. The sky was blue, the larks were soaring high over the green corn, I thought all that country-side more beautiful and peaceful by far than I had ever known it to be yet. Many pleasant pictures of the life that I would lead there, and of the change for the better that would come over my character when I had a guiding spirit at my side whose simple faith and clear home-wisdom I had proved, beguiled my way. They awakened a tender emotion in me; for, my heart was softened by my return, and such a change had come to pass, that I felt like one who was toiling home barefoot from distant travel, and whose wanderings had lasted many years.
The schoolhouse where Biddy was mistress, I had never seen; but, the little roundabout lane by which I entered the village for quietness' sake, took me past it. I was disappointed to find that the day was a holiday; no children were there, and Biddy's house was closed. Some hopeful notion of seeing her busily engaged in her daily duties, before she saw me, had been in my mind and was defeated.
But, the forge was a very short distance off, and I went towards it under the sweet green limes, listening for the clink of Joe's hammer. Long after I ought to have heard it, and long after I had fancied I heard it and found it but a fancy, all was still. The limes were there, and the white thorns were there, and the chestnut-trees were there, and their leaves rustled harmoniously when I stopped to listen; but, the clink of Joe's hammer was not in the midsummer wind.
Almost fearing, without knowing why, to come in view of the forge, I saw it at last, and saw that it was closed. No gleam of fire, no glittering shower of sparks, no roar of bellows; all shut up, and still.
But, the house was not deserted, and the best parlour seemed to be in use, for there were white curtains fluttering in its window, and the window was open and gay with flowers. I went softly towards it, meaning to peep over the flowers, when Joe and Biddy stood before me, arm in arm.
At first Biddy gave a cry, as if she thought it was my apparition, but in another moment she was in my embrace. I wept to see her, and she wept to see me; I, because she looked so fresh and pleasant; she, because I looked so worn and white.
`But dear Biddy, how smart you are!'
`Yes, dear Pip.'
`And Joe, how smart you are!'
`Yes, dear old Pip, old chap.'
I looked at both of them, from one to the other, and then--
`It's my wedding-day,' cried Biddy, in a burst of happiness, `and I am married to Joe!'
They had taken me into the kitchen, and I had laid my head down on the old deal table. Biddy held one of my hands to her lips, and Joe's restoring touch was on my shoulder. `Which he warn't strong enough, my dear, fur to be surprised,' said Joe. And Biddy said, `I ought to have thought of it, dear Joe, but I was too happy.' They were both so overjoyed to see me, so proud to see me, so touched by my coming to them, so delighted that I should have come by accident to make their day complete!
My first thought was one of great thankfulness that I had never breathed this last baffled hope to Joe. How often, while he was with me in my illness, had it risen to my lips. How irrevocable would have been his knowledge of it, if he had remained with me but another hour!
`Dear Biddy,' said I, `you have the best husband in the whole world, and if you could have seen him by my bed you would have - But no, you couldn't love him better than you do.'
`No, I couldn't indeed,' said Biddy.
`And, dear Joe, you have the best wife in the whole world, and she will make you as happy as even you deserve to be, you dear, good, noble Joe!'
Joe looked at me with a quivering lip, and fairly put his sleeve before his eyes.
`And Joe and Biddy both, as you have been to church to-day, and are in charity and love with all mankind, receive my humble thanks for all you have done for me and all I have so ill repaid!And when I say that I am going away within the hour, for I am soon going abroad, and that I shall never rest until I have worked for the money with which you have kept me out of prison, and have sent it to you, don't think, dear Joe and Biddy, that if I could repay it a thousand times over, I suppose I could cancel a farthing of the debt I owe you, or that I would do so if I could!'
They were both melted by these words, and both entreated me to say no more.
`But I must say more. Dear Joe, I hope you will have children to love, and that some little fellow will sit in this chimney corner of a winter night, who may remind you of another little fellow gone out of it for ever. Don't tell him, Joe, that I was thankless; don't tell him, Biddy, that I was ungenerous and unjust; only tell him that I honoured you both, because you were both so good and true, and that, as your child, I said it would natural to him to grow up a much better man than I did.'
`I ain't a going,' said Joe, from behind his sleeve, `to tell him nothink o' that natur, Pip. Nor Biddy ain't. Nor yet no one ain't.'
`And now, though I know you have already done it in your own kind hearts, pray tell me, both, that you forgive me! Pray let me hear you say the words, that I may carry the sound of them away with me, and then I shall be able to believe that you can trust me, and think better of me, in the time to come!'
`O dear old Pip, old chap,' said Joe. `God knows as I forgive you, if I have anythink to forgive!'
`Amen! And God knows I do!' echoed Biddy.
Now let me go and look at my old little room, and rest there a few minutes by myself, and then when I have eaten and drunk with you, go with me as far as the finger-post, dear Joe and Biddy, before we say good-bye!'
I sold all I had, and put aside as much as I could, for a composition with my creditors - who gave me ample time to pay them in full - and I went out and joined Herbert. Within a month, I had quitted England, and within two months I was clerk to Clarriker and Co., and within four months I assumed my first undivided responsibility. For, the beam across the parlour ceiling at Mill Pond Bank, had then ceased to tremble under old Bill Barley's growls and was at peace, and Herbert had gone away to marry Clara, and I was left in sole charge of the Eastern Branch until he brought her back.
Many a year went round, before I was a partner in the House; but, Iived happily with Herbert and his wife, and lived frugally, and paid my debts, and maintained a constant correspondence with Biddy and Joe. It was not until I become third in the Firm, that Clarriker betrayed me to Herbert; but, he then declared that the secret of Herbert's partnership had been long enough upon his conscience, and he must tell it. So, he told it, and Herbert was as much moved as amazed, and the dear fellow and I were not the worse friends for the long concealment. I must not leave it to be supposed that we were ever a great house, or that we made mints of money. We were not in a grand way of business, but we had a good name, and worked for our profits, and did very well. We owed so much to Herbert's ever cheerful industry and readiness, that I often wondered how I had conceived that old idea of his inaptitude, until I was one day enlightened by the reflection, that perhaps the inaptitude had never been in him at all, but had been in me.
 
我还没有回到故土，关于我幸福扫地、走投无路的传闻已传遍了故乡各地。我看出蓝野猪饭店也获得了这一信息，我看到这头野猪对我的态度也大大改变，和以往不能相比。在我青云直上财运亨通的时候，这头野猪对我热情备至，极力关怀，奉承拍马，什么事都做得到；如今我黄鹤已去，正在走下坡路时，这头野猪对我一转而异常冷酷，置之不理。
那日的傍晚时分我才抵达蓝野猪饭店，虽然往昔我来往此间轻松自如，而今天却已疲惫不堪。这头野猪再不让我住进往昔的那间豪华居室，说是已有人住（一定是让给另外一位有大笔遗产的人了），把我塞进一间非常不起眼的屋子中住。这间房靠在院子那头，旁边养着鸽子和拖车的马。然而在这间屋子里我却睡去了一个香甜的夜，和在豪华房间里没有两样；我在这间屋子里也做了美好的梦，不比住在美好房间中所做的美好的梦差。
次日一早趁饭店正在准备早餐的时候，我去到沙提斯庄园，在旁边转了一圈。大门上面和挂在窗子上的挂毯上面都贴了招租广告，说明这所宅邸的一切家具等物都将于下个星期进行公开拍卖。至于房屋本身会全部拆毁以后当建筑材料卖出。在制酒作坊的墙上用石灰水刷上了一号地区字样，字是东斜西歪的；那所长久封闭不开门窗的主宅标明是二号地区。这所宅邸的其他地方标明了不同的号码，为了方便在墙上写号码，常春藤从上面被拉扯下来，拖挂在泥地上，并且已经枯黄。我顺着敞开的大门漫步而人，在里面逗留片刻，放眼观望四周景物，好比是一个无事可干的陌生人，怀着不自在的神情冷眼看着这一切。我看到拍卖行的职员正在啤酒桶上面踱着步子，并数着桶的数目，以便编人目录，笔拿在手上。这里放着的临时用办公桌就是当年我时常一面推一面唱着《老克莱门之歌》时的轮椅。
然后我回到蓝野猪饭店的餐厅吃早饭，一回来便看到彭波契克先生正和老板谈话。尽管上次夜里被盗使他吃惊不小，而表面上并没有什么两样。彭波契克先生分明在等着我，所以一看到我他便用下面的话招呼我。
“年轻人，看到你从半空摔下来我心里很难受。可是，你又怎么会不掉下来呢！你又怎么会不摔下来呢！”
他带着一副威严的神态，宽洪大量地伸出了手，我因为生病身体衰弱，不宜和他争论，便也伸手给他。
“威廉，”彭波契克先生对茶房说道，“拿一盘松饼来。竟然搞得这么糟，竟然搞得这么糟！”
我坐在那里紧锁着双眉吃早餐，彭波契克先生站在我旁边，我正准备去拿茶杯，他却为我倒了一杯。他摆出一副恩主的样子，并下定决心把恩主这个角色扮演到底。
“威廉，”彭波契克先生又以一副忧伤的神情说道，“来撒点盐在上面。”然后又转身对我说：“在你走运的时候你是撒糖的吧？还加牛奶吗？你会的。糖和牛奶都要加。威廉，拿点儿水芹菜来。”
“谢谢你，”我简短地说道，”可是我不吃水芹菜。”
“你不吃水芹菜。”彭波契克先生答道，又是叹气，又是点头，这么叹气点头了几次，好像他早就意料到了，正是不吃水芹菜才使得我走下坡路的。“是嘛，水芹菜是地上生的贫贱菜。威廉，你就不要拿了。”
我继续吃着我的早餐，而彭波契克先生也仍然站在我旁边，用鱼一样的眼睛盯着我望，鼻子呼吸时发出的响声，声声可闻。这是他的生性，历来如此。
“瘦得只剩下皮和骨头了！”彭波契克先生在思考着，却又把思考的话大声地说了出来。“记得你离开这里的时候（我当时还为之祝福呢），我把我用蜜蜂的勤劳所积攒的一点儿微不足道的东西放在你的餐桌上呢，那时你长得多丰满，和一只桃子一样。”
这一说倒提醒了我一件事。记得在我刚交好运的时候，他曾奴颜婢膝地把手伸给我，总是说，“我能否？”而现在他又伸出同样的五根胖指头，却招摇过市地摆出长者宽厚的风度，这两者之间的差别是多么悬殊啊。
“嘿！”他一面把奶油面包递给我，一面继续说道，“你到约瑟夫那里去吗？”
我不禁生起一腔怒火，“老实告诉你，我到哪里去和你毫无关系，和你有关系吗？不要动我的茶壶。”
我的这一句话是最坏的下策，反而给了彭波契克一个机会来表演他正想做的事。
“是的，年轻人，”他说着把茶壶丢了下来，并且从我桌边向后退了一两步，便开始来奚落我，然而他实际上是说给站在门口的老板和茶房听的。“我不动你的茶壶。你很对，年轻人。也仅此一次你说得对，年轻人。我忘了自己身份，我想你在外面花天酒地，弄得一贫如洗，才叫了一份你祖宗喜欢吃的营养品作为你的早餐，对你的身体有好处。”彭波契克转身向着门口的老板和茶房伸直了他的臂膀，却指着我说道：“你们看就是这个人，我在他幼小时就陪他度过幸福的童年。你们不要以为这不可能，我告诉你们的是事实，就是这个人。”
店主和茶房都低低地不知说了什么附和的话。茶房显得特别感兴趣。
“就是这个人，”彭波契克说道，“我让他一直乘坐我的马车。就是这个人，我亲眼看到由他姐姐一手拉扯大的。就是这个人，我就是他姐姐丈夫的舅舅，她姐姐的名字是乔其雅娜•马丽娅，沿用了她母亲的名字，这是事实，就让他不承认吧！”
这个茶房似乎相信我是否认不了了的，正因此我才摆出了这副面孔。
“年轻人，”彭波契克用他的老方法又把头转向我说道，“你到约瑟夫家去。你问我，你到约瑟夫那里去和我有什么关系？我告诉你，先生，要知道你是到约瑟夫那里去。”
这个茶房咳了一声，这意思仿佛是客气地要我讲讲理由。
彭波契克摆出一副令人气愤的神情，满嘴的仁义道德，仿佛都是颠扑不破的真理，说道：“现在，我会告诉你，你该对约瑟夫说些什么。看这里有蓝野猪饭店的老板，他是这个镇上的知名人士，很受人尊敬，还有，威廉也在这里，如果我记忆力不坏的话，他的父姓是鲍特金。”
“你没有记错，先生。”威廉说道。
彭波契克继续说道：“今天就当着他们两人的面，年轻人，我就告诉你该对约瑟夫怎么说吧。你就说：‘约瑟夫，今天我见到了我最早的恩主和幸福的奠基人。约瑟夫，我用不着点名道姓你也知道，反正镇上的人们都会这么说，我今天见到了这个人。’”
“我一定不说在这里看到了这个人。”我说道。
“你就按你想的说吧，”彭波契克反驳道，“你只要这么说，我看约瑟夫也会表现出惊奇呢。”
“约瑟夫根本不是你说的那种人，我了解得很清楚。”我说道。
彭波契克继续说道：“你对他说：‘约瑟夫，我看到了那个人，那个人对你没有恶意，也对我没有恶意。他对你性格了解得一清二楚，约瑟夫，他说你猪头猪脑，一窍不通；他对我的性格也了解得一清二楚，约瑟夫，他说我只晓得忘恩负义。’”彭波契克摇着头挥着手对我说：“你就说：‘是的，约瑟夫，他认为我根本就没有感恩报德的人性，而这种人性是人皆有之的。约瑟夫，你不了解这件事，你也不必去了解，不过他了解得很清楚。’”
虽然他是一头喜欢乱吹的驴子，不过我感到奇怪的是他竟然敢当着我的面这样胡说。
“你可以对他说：‘约瑟夫，他要我给你捎来一个口信，现在我来告诉你听。他说在我走下坡路时，他见到过上帝的手指。他一看到就知道这是上帝的手指，约瑟夫，他看得很清楚。上帝的手指的动作表明上帝写的是：凡对最早的恩主及幸福奠基人忘恩负义者必得此报。不过这个人却认为，他决不懊悔他做过的事，约瑟夫，他一点儿也不懊悔。他认为这样做是正确的，这样做是符合善行的，这样做是符合仁义的，他今后还要这样做。’”
我断断续续地吃早饭。在吃完时，我以轻蔑的口吻说道：“这简直太可惜了，这个人根本就没有说他过去做了什么，今后又将做些什么。”
彭波契克这时干脆对饭店老板大讲特讲：“蓝野猪饭店的老板，还有你威廉！你们可以任意到无论镇上的什么地方去说，我所做的事是正确的，是符合善行的，是符合仁义的，我今后还要这样做。随你们怎样说，我是不会反对的。”
这个骗子说完了那几句话后，便装出那副傲慢的样子和他们两人一一握手，然后离开了饭店。他刚才所说的那么多好处，我听了后并不感到有什么高兴，只觉得十分惊讶。在他走后不久我也离开了饭店。我走到大街上就看到他正站在店门口对着一群上流人土高谈阔论，想来是同一内容无疑。我从对面街上走过时，他们还给了我几个不友好的白眼，为此我该感到荣幸才是。
也正因此，我到毕蒂和乔那里去就更感到心情愉悦了。他们过去对我就非常宽容，如今他们对我一定更加宽容，那个无赖骗子手是无法相比的。我缓慢地向他们家走去，因为四肢仍然感到吃力，但是我知道走一步便靠近了他们一步，而离开那个傲慢无理、心怀奸诈的小人又远了一步，我的心情也愈来愈放松而感到宽慰。
六月的天气十分爽心说目，万分宜人。蓝蓝的天空，云雀在绿色的谷地上空翱翔，噢，如今的乡间比以往我曾生活过的乡间更加美丽，更加，更加平静。我构想出多少美丽的生活图景来消磨我寂寞的旅途，这些都是对生活有意义的美景。我将会住在这乡间，那位单纯善良、治家精明的人儿就会成为我的生命向导，一切都会变化改善。这些在我的心间唤起了温馨的情绪；我这次归来，我的心已经柔和许多；我经历了人世间的一切变化，这才感到自己仿佛游子，赤着双脚，历尽多年的跋涉、艰险，才从远方归来。
毕蒂正在执教的那所学校我过去从未见过。我为了不让人知道而静静地从小路穿过进入村子，一定是要经过学校的。令人失望的是这天正是假日，孩子们都不在学校里，毕蒂住的屋子也锁着。本来我希望在她尚未看到我时我就先看到她，看着她忙于每天的事务。可是这一希望落了空。
离这里不远便是乔的铁匠铺，于是我一面奔走在芳香的菩提树下，一面注意倾听乔的铁锤声音，快步向前赶着。我想我应该听到他的打铁声，我想我似乎已经听到打铁声了，而事实上这是一个幻觉，四周一切都很寂静。菩提树仍然在那里，山楂树仍然在那里，毛栗子树仍然在那里。当我停止脚步在注意倾听时，只听见和谐的树叶沙沙声，仲夏的和风没有传来乔的铁锤声。
这时我不知道为什么反而害怕见到铁匠铺了，而就在这时我来到了铁匠铺门前，发现门关着，没有一点火光，没有一丝闪耀的火星，没有风箱的吼声，一片寂静。
然而这所屋子也并未废弃不用，那间最好的客厅似乎还有人住，那白色的窗帘正在窗前飘舞着，窗户打开着，还装饰着花朵。我轻手轻脚地向前走去，想从花朵的上方窥探一下房里的情况，一眼便见到乔和毕蒂正手臂挽着手臂地站在面前。
毕蒂一见到我先是惊呼一声，仿佛她看到的不是我，而是我的灵魂，然后她便冲过来抱住了我。我见到她便哭了起来，她见到我也哭了起来；我哭，是因为看到她出落得如此美丽动人；她哭，是因为我变得如此消瘦苍白。
“亲爱的毕蒂，你多么漂亮啊！”
“是吗，亲爱的皮普？”
“还有你，乔，你今天也这么漂亮！”
“是吗，亲爱的皮普，我的老弟。”
我打量着他们两人，从他看到她，又从她看到他——
毕蒂突然幸福地大声叫道：“今天是我结婚的日子，我嫁给了乔！”
他们把我领进了厨房，于是我坐下来把头靠在那张昔日的松木桌子上。毕蒂拉着我的一只手放在她的嘴唇上，乔又在我肩头上拍了拍。乔说：“我亲爱的，他的身体还不够好，不要惊动他。”毕蒂说：“亲爱的乔，我是太高兴了，我忘记了这件事。”他们两人见到我都非常高兴，都非常得意，由于我的归来他们特别感动，因为我偶然回来庆祝他们大好的日子，使事情显得顺利圆满，而且快乐非凡。
我见到他们的第一个想法，就是我幸亏没有对乔露出一丝儿我那最后一个馊主意。而就在他于我病中服侍我的时候，我多次让这个主意溜到了舌边，不过没有说出口又咽了回去。只要他在我那儿再多等一个小时，他就会知道我的想法，一切都将无可挽回！
“亲爱的毕蒂，”我说道，“你得到了这个世界上最优秀的丈夫；要是你看到过他守在我病榻旁边的样子，你会——噢，你爱他已经是够深的了。”
“的确，我真的如此。”
“亲爱的乔，你得到了这个世界上最优秀的妻子，她会使你享受到应该享受到的幸福，噢，你是亲爱的、善良的和高尚的乔！”
乔望着我，嘴唇有些抖动，又用衣服的袖口擦了擦他的眼睛。
“乔和毕蒂，你们今天已去过教堂，现在已回到人类的怀抱，相亲相爱，所以我请你们接受我一丁点儿谢意。你们为我做了许多，而我却一点也没有回报。现在我得告诉你们，我只能在此耽搁一个小时，然后就离开，准备到国外去。我只有赚到一笔钱后拿来还给你们，否则，我永远不会安心。因为你们替我还债，使我免于进入监狱。乔和毕蒂我亲爱的，我即使还给你们一千倍的钱，我也还不清你们对我的思情，所以我要尽最大的努力来报答你们！”
他们两人听了我的话，两颗心都融化了，两人都恳求我不要再说了。
“但是我还有话说。亲爱的乔，我希望你们生一个孩子，你们可以爱他；在冬日的夜晚，这个小家伙可以坐在火炉的旁边，这便提醒你想到曾经有过另外一个小家伙也在这儿坐过，虽然这已永远成为过去。乔，你千万不要告诉他说我是忘恩之辈；毕蒂，你千万不要告诉他我是那么不宽宏大量，不仁不义；请你们告诉他我崇敬你们两位，因为你们是那么善良，那么诚恳。他是你们的孩子，自然你们要使他成长起来，你们告诉他，我说过他一定会比我好，比我强。”
乔用他的衣袖挡住自己，说道：“皮普，我不会告诉他这些话。毕蒂也不会告诉他这些话。我们谁都不会这样说。”
“我知道你们现在都已原谅了我，你们有善良的心肠，不过我还是请你们对我说，你们原谅我！请你们说出这几个字，让我亲耳听到，我就可以把你们的话带在身边，带到国外。那么我心中就相信你们仍然信任我，仍然会想到我，将来不会忘记我。”
“噢，我亲爱的老弟皮普，”乔说道，“如果真有要我原谅你的事，在天之主知道我已原谅你了。”
“阿门！在天之主知道我原谅你了！”毕蒂也说道。
“好吧，我现在上楼看看我昔日居住的小卧室，并且独自在那儿休息片刻。然后我下来和你们共一顿餐共一次饮，然后请你们陪我一起去到指路牌，亲爱的乔，亲爱的毕蒂，我们就在那儿说一声再见！”
我卖掉了我所有的东西，尽可能还债，没有还清的部分，我的债主也给了我充分的期限，以后一次付清。然后，我便启程到赫伯特那里去了。不到一个月我便离开了英格兰；不到两个月我就成了克拉利柯公司的职员了；不到四个月我便第一次负起整个公司的重任。因为，磨坊河滨那间房屋客厅的天花板不再被比尔•巴莱老头的咆哮声震得发抖，他已平静地死去，赫伯特回到故里同克拉娜举行了婚礼，东方分公司由我独自管理，直到赫伯特回来为止。
许多年之后，我也是这家公司的合伙人了，和赫伯特及他的妻子生活在一起，颇感幸福。因为我生活节约俭朴，所以还清了一切债务。我还和毕蒂以及乔之间保持着经常的通信。后来我在这家公司成为第三号人物，克拉利柯才把我的秘密告诉了赫伯特。克拉利柯说赫伯特本人对自己股份的秘密长期以来一直抱有疑心，所以非告诉他不可。赫伯特知道真相之后深受感动，而且惊讶不已。虽然这件事长期地隐瞒着他，而我们之间的友谊却并未因此遭受到破坏。我得说清我们的公司不是大公司，我们也没有赚到巨额钞票。我们没有做大生意，但我们有良好的信誉，获利不大，但很有起色。应该承认，赫伯特为此作出了贡献。他勤劳刻苦，灵活机智，我时常在思索，过去我为什么以为他笨拙而无才干，直到有一天我脑海中突然掠过一道智慧之光，发现他并不笨拙而无才干，笨拙而无才干的恰恰是我自己。
Chapter 59
FOR eleven years, I had not seen Joe nor Biddy with my bodily eyes-though they had both been often before my fancy in the East-when, upon an evening in December, an hour or two after dark, I laid my hand softly on the latch of the old kitchen door. I touched it so softly that I was not heard, and looked in unseen. There, smoking his pipe in the old place by the kitchen firelight, as hale and as strong as ever though a little grey, sat Joe; and there, fenced into the corner with Joe's leg, and sitting on my own little stool looking at the fire, was - I again! 
`We giv' him the name of Pip for your sake, dear old chap,' said Joe, delighted when I took another stool by the child's side (but I did not rumple his hair), `and we hoped he might grow a little bit like you, and we think he do.'
I thought so too, and I took him out for a walk next morning, and we talked immensely, understanding one another to perfection. And I took him down to the churchyard, and set him on a certain tombstone there, and he showed me from that elevation which stone was sacred to the memory of Philip Pirrip, late of this Parish, and Also Georgiana, Wife of the Above.
`Biddy,' said I, when I talked with her after dinner, as her little girl lay sleeping in her lap, `you must give Pip to me, one of these days; or lend him, at all events.'
`No, no,' said Biddy, gently. `You must marry.'
`So Herbert and Clara say, but I don't think I shall, Biddy. I have so settled down in their home, that it's not at all likely. I am already quite an old bachelor.'
Biddy looked down at her child, and put its little hand to her lips, and then put the good matronly hand with which she had touched it, into mine. There was something in the action and in the light pressure of Biddy's wedding-ring, that had a very pretty eloquence in it.
`Dear Pip,' said Biddy, `you are sure you don't fret for her?'
`O no-I think not, Biddy.'
`Tell me as an old, old friend. Have you quite forgotten her?
`My dear Biddy, I have forgotten nothing in my life that ever had a foremost place there, and little that ever had any place there. But that poor dream, as I once used to call it, has all gone by, Biddy, all gone by!'
Nevertheless, I knew while I said those words, that I secretly intended to revisit the site of the house that evening, alone, for her sake. Yes even so. For Estella's sake.
I had heard of her as leading a most unhappy life, and as being separated from her husband, who had used her with great cruelty, and who had become quite renowned as a compound of pride, avarice, brutality, and meanness. And I had heard of the death of her husband, from an accident consequent on his ill-treatment of a horse. This release had befallen her some two years before; for anything I knew, she was married again.
The early dinner-hour at Joe's, left me abundance of time, without hurrying my talk with Biddy, to walk over to the old spot before dark. But, what with loitering on the way, to look at old objects and to think of old times, the day had quite declined when I came to the place.
There was no house now, no brewery, no building whatever left, but the wall of the old garden. The cleared space had been enclosed with a rough fence, and, looking over it, I saw that some of the old ivy had struck root anew, and was growing green on low quiet mounds of ruin. A gate in the fence standing ajar, I pushed it open, and went in.
A cold silvery mist had veiled the afternoon, and the moon was not yet up to scatter it. But, the stars were shining beyond the mist, and the moon was coming, and the evening was not dark. I could trace out where every part of the old house had been, and where the brewery had been, and where the gates, and where the casks. I had done so, and was looking along the desolate gardenwalk, when I beheld a solitary figure in it.
The figure showed itself aware of me, as I advanced. It had been moving towards me, but it stood still. As I drew nearer, I saw it to be the figure of a woman. As I drew nearer yet, it was about to turn away, when it stopped, and let me come up with it. Then, it faltered as if much surprised, and uttered my name, and I cried out:
`Estella!'
`I am greatly changed. I wonder you know me.'
The freshness of her beauty was indeed gone, but its indescribable majesty and its indescribable charm remained. Those attractions in it, I had seen before; what I had never seen before, was the saddened softened light of the once proud eyes; what I had never felt before, was the friendly touch of the once insensible hand.
We sat down on a bench that was near, and I said, `After so many years, it is strange that we should thus meet again, Estella, here where our first meeting was! Do you often come back?'
`I have never been here since.'
`Nor I.'
The moon began to rise, and I thought of the placid look at the white ceiling, which had passed away. The moon began to rise, and I thought of the pressure on my hand when I had spoken the last words he had heard on earth.
Estella was the next to break the silence that ensued between us.
`I have very often hoped and intended to come back, but have been prevented by many circumstances. Poor, poor old place!'
The silvery mist was touched with the first rays of the moonlight, and the same rays touched the tears that dropped from her eyes. Not knowing that I saw them, and setting herself to get the better of them, she said quietly:
`Were you wondering, as you walked along, how it came to be left in this condition?'
`Yes, Estella.'
`The ground belongs to me. It is the only possession I have not relinquished. Everything else has gone from me, little by little, but I have kept this. It was the subject of the only determined resistance I made in all the wretched years.'
`Is it to be built on?'
`At last it is. I came here to take leave of it before its change. And you,' she said, in a voice of touching interest to a wanderer, `you live abroad still?'
`Still.'
`And do well, I am sure?'
`I work pretty hard for a sufficient living, and therefore - Yes, I do well.'
`I have often thought of you,' said Estella.
`Have you?'
`Of late, very often. There was a long hard time when I kept far from me, the remembrance, of what I had thrown away when I was quite ignorant of its worth. But, since my duty has not been incompatible with the admission of that remembrance, I have given it a place in my heart.'
`You have always held your place in my heart,' I answered.
And we were silent again, until she spoke.
`I little thought,' said Estella, `that I should take leave of you in taking leave of this spot. I am very glad to do so.'
`Glad to part again, Estella? To me, parting is a painful thing. To me, the remembrance of our last parting has been ever mournful and painful.'
`But you said to me,' returned Estella, very earnestly, `"God bless you, God forgive you!" And if you could say that to me then, you will not hesitate to say that to me now - now, when suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape. Be as considerate and good to me as you were, and tell me we are friends.'
`We are friends,' said I, rising and bending over her, as she rose from the bench.
`And will continue friends apart,' said Estella.
I took her hand in mine, and we went out of the ruined place; and, as the morning mists had risen long ago when I first left the forge, so, the evening mists were rising now, and in all the broad expanse of tranquil light they showed to me, I saw no shadow of another parting from her.
 
十一年过去了，我一直没有见到过毕蒂和乔，我身在东方，然而他们的音容笑貌仍然活在我的思想之中。十一年后的一个十二月的夜晚，天黑了一两个小时之后，我回到了故里。我把手轻轻地按在昔日厨房的门闩上，我按得很轻，谁也不会听到声音，我向里面望去，谁也没有发现我的身影。乔正坐在当年的老地方，在厨房火炉的旁边，身体像以往一样硬朗和强健，所不同的是头上生了些白发。他的一条腿伸在一个角落里，护着旁边我过去常坐的小凳上坐着的一个孩子。他正面对着我，简直就是我的化身。
我走进去，拿了另外一只凳子坐在这孩子的旁边，但我没有乱抓他的头发。乔一见到我，就非常高兴，说道：
“亲爱的老弟，为了纪念你，我们也叫他皮普。我们希望他长得像你，现在看来倒真有些像呢。”
我想他倒是有些像我。第二天一早我便带他到外面去散步，一面走一面谈了很多，谈得很投机。我把他带到乡村教堂的公墓去，把他放在其中一块墓石上面，而他却指着那块高高的墓石，上面刻着：已故的本教区居民菲利普•皮利普及上述者之妻乔其雅娜之墓。
晚饭之后，毕蒂把她的小女儿抱在膝头上哄她睡觉，我们便攀谈起来。我说道：“毕蒂，这两天你就把皮普过继给我当儿子吧，如果不行，也得让我带带他。”
“不要这么说，”毕蒂温柔地说道，“你应该结婚才是。”
“赫伯特和克拉娜也这样说，不过我不想结婚。我已经在他们家中安家了，根本不可能再结婚。现在我是个货真价实的老光棍了。”
毕蒂低下头看着她的婴儿，抓起一只她的小手放在自己的嘴唇上，然后又把这只抚摸过孩子的善良的母性之手放在我的手心中。她的这一动作，她的结婚戒指在我手心轻轻一按的动作蕴含了一种内在的意义，那是言语难以表达的。
“亲爱的皮普，”毕蒂说道，‘你现在真的不再因为她而烦恼了吗？”
“噢——不了，我不会为她而烦恼了，毕蒂。”
“你得告诉我这个老朋友，你完全忘掉她了吗？”
“我亲爱的毕蒂，我不会忘记在我生活中任何一件占重要地位的事，即使不重要，只要在我生活中有一席之地的事，我也不会忘记。至于那件我曾经称为可怜的梦的事，已经随时间飘逝，毕蒂，它已经随时间飘逝了。”
虽然我正用言语说出这些话，而我的心这时却想着当晚就该去重访那座宅邸旧地，独自一人，为了她。是的，为了埃斯苔娜。
我已经获悉她的情况，她过着非常不幸的生活，并且已经和丈夫分手，因为他是个恶名远扬的傲慢、贪婪、残暴和卑鄙之小人，对妻子进行残酷的虐待。我又获悉埃斯苔娜的丈夫由于虐待自己的马，在一次骑马事故中他自己也被摔死。这是两年前的事了，埃斯苔娜的身心总算获得了解脱。根据我的想法，她会再婚。
在乔的家中晚饭开得很早，这就给了我充裕的时间，无须匆忙地和毕蒂闲谈点琐事，然后便出发，天黑之前就走到了那古宅旧址。一路上我悠悠荡荡地逛着，瞻仰昔日的景象，回想往日的情景，在黄昏时分，我已站在了旧址之上。
这里除了一道昔日花园的围墙之外，再没有当年的房屋，再没有制酒作坊，再没有其他连在一起的建筑了。一切当年的建筑均不复存在。一眼望去，空荡荡一片，外面是一道粗糙的篱笆围栏；但我看到一些昔日的常春藤又扎下了新根，在一堆堆废墟上发出了新绿，虽然那么低低地、那么寂寞地在生长着。一扇篱笆的门半开着，我推开它走了进去。
从下午开始，天空就有一层带有寒意的银白色雾气，那时月亮还没有登上天空，放出光辉。而这时，星星却透过雾气在闪闪发光，月亮也升到了空中，因而夜晚并不显得黑暗。我依稀能辨别出古宅旧址的每一个部分，哪儿曾是制酒作坊，哪儿曾是大门，哪儿曾放着啤酒桶。我一一回忆怀念，并顺着荒寂的花园小径望去，忽然看见一个孤独的身影。
我于是向前探出脚步。那个身影也发觉了我，也向着我移来，然后又站住，一动也不动。我接近了这身影，看到这是一位女子。我走近一些，身影正想转身，但又忽然停住了，等我走过去。接着，这个身影迟疑了一下，仿佛是显得大惊失色，呼喊着我的名字，同时我也惊叫了出来！
“埃斯苔娜！”
“我奇怪你怎么还认得出我，我完全变了。”
确实她的青春艳丽已经消逝，然而她那难以言表的端庄华丽，她那难以言表的迷人妩媚却依旧当年。所有这些美的诱惑，从前我都见过，而我以前所没有见过的是她那一对眼睛，从前她的双眸总闪着傲气，如今却闪着凄凉酸楚的光；而我以前所没有感触过的是那一只手，从前她握手时手上毫无情感，而今天手上有一股真正友情的暖流。
我们坐在附近的一张长椅上，我说道：“多少年如流云般过去，埃斯苔娜，而今日我们在最初相见时的旧址上又重逢，这有多么奇怪！你常常回到这里吗？”
“我一直没有回来过。”
“我也没有。”
月亮开始上升，邀游夜空，我脑海中出现了马格韦契注视着白色天花板的宁静目光，这目光已永远逝去；月亮开始上升，邀游夜空，我脑海中出现了马格韦契的最后情景，他的手压在我的手上，倾听我告诉他的最后的人间之音。
埃斯苔娜终于打破了我们之间的沉默。
“我一直在希望有一天能回来看看，可是各种各样的情况使我不能回来。多么可怜的、可怜的故居啊！”
银色的雾气和月亮最初发出的光辉混合一片，月光又和她眼中流出的泪珠融合在一起。她没有意识到我已经看到这一切，想抑制住自己的情感，以平静的语气说道：
“你在这里一路走过来，看到这宅邸败落到如此的情况，你感到惊奇吗？”
“当然，埃斯苔娜。”
“这块地还是属于我的。只有这块地我总算还保留住了。这里的每一样东西都一点一点地离开了我，唯独这块地我保留住了。在这些令人伤心的年代里，就只有这一件东西我还是坚守下来没有卖出去。”
“还准备在这里建房子吗？”
“会建的。我就是在建屋之前来这里向它告别的。”她说着，然后用一种十分关心游子的语气说道：“你仍然住在国外？”
“仍然在国外。”
“我敢说，你一定过得不坏吧。”
“我努力工作只是为了生活，所以——是的，我生活得不坏。”
“我时常想到你。”埃斯苔娜说道。
“真的？”
“特别是近些日子，我更常想到你。虽然我生活中有一段很长的艰苦日子，但是我不会去想；我想到的是我竟对珍宝一无所知，把无价之宝竟然随便抛弃。自从我个人的情况不如意后，这些口忆就不得不在我心头占一席之地。”
“你永远在我的心里。”我答道。
我们又一次沉默无言，直到她打破沉寂。
“我没有想到，”埃斯苔娜说道，“我到这里来和故地告别，竟然又是和你告别，我感到很高兴。”
“埃斯苔娜，和我又一次分别，你高兴吗？可是对我来说，分别是一件痛苦的事。对我来说，上次分别时的悲伤和痛苦永远地萦绕在我的记忆之中。”
“可是，你上次不是对我说过，”埃斯苔娜非常诚心地答道，“‘但愿上帝保佑你，但愿上帝原宥你！’你上次能这么对我说，你现在也会这样对我说，而且是毫不犹豫地这样对我说。多年来痛苦给我的教训比任何别的事物对我的教训都更加深切，痛苦使我领会到你当时的心情。我已受尽折磨，心肠已碎，但是——我希望—— 会有改善。希望你像从前一样体谅我，善待我，并且告诉我，我俩仍是朋友。”
“我俩仍是朋友。”我说着站起身，并俯身扶她从长椅上站了起来。
“我们虽然分离，但愿情意长存。”埃斯苔娜说道。
我把她的手握在自己手中，一同走出这片废墟。记得在很久之前我第一次离开铁匠铺时，正值晨雾刚刚消散；现在我们刚走出废墟，夜雾也正开始消散。一片广阔的静寂沉浸在月色之中，似乎向我表明，我和她将永远一起，不再分离。