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Chapter 7 Nightmare
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    I told Charlie I had a lot of homework to do, and that I didn't wantanything to eat. There was a basketball game on that he was excitedabout, though of course I had no idea what was special about it, so hewasn't aware of anything unusual in my face or tone.

  Once in my room, I locked the door. I dug through my desk until I foundmy old headphones, and I plugged them into my little CD player. I pickedup a CD that Phil had given to me for Christmas. It was one of hisfavorite bands, but they used a little too much bass1 and shrieking2 for mytastes. I popped it into place and lay down on my bed. I put on theheadphones, hit Play, and turned up the volume until it hurt my ears. Iclosed my eyes, but the light still intruded3, so I added a pillow overthe top half of my face.

  I concentrated very carefully on the music, trying to understand thelyrics, to unravel5 the complicated drum patterns. By the third time I'dlistened through the CD, I knew all the words to the choruses, at least.

  I was surprised to find that I really did like the band after all, once Igot past the blaring noise. I'd have to thank Phil again.

  And it worked. The shattering beats made it impossible for me to think —which was the whole purpose of the exercise. I listened to the CD againand again, until I was singing along with all the songs, until, finally,I fell asleep.

  I opened my eyes to a familiar place. Aware in some corner of myconsciousness that I was dreaming, I recognized the green light of theforest. I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks somewherenearby. And I knew that if I found the ocean, I'd be able to see the sun.

  I was trying to follow the sound, but then Jacob Black was there, tuggingon my hand, pulling me back toward the blackest part of the forest.

  "Jacob? What's wrong?" I asked. His face was frightened as he yanked withall his strength against my resistance; I didn't want to go into the dark.

  "Run, Bella, you have to run!" he whispered, terrified.

  "This way, Bella!" I recognized Mike's voice calling out of the gloomyheart of the trees, but I couldn't see him.

  "Why?" I asked, still pulling against Jacob's grasp, desperate now tofind the sun.

   But Jacob let go of my hand and yelped6, suddenly shaking, falling to thedim forest floor. He twitched7 on the ground as I watched in horror.

  "Jacob!" I screamed. But he was gone. In his place was a large red-brownwolf with black eyes. The wolf faced away from me, pointing toward theshore, the hair on the back of his shoulders bristling8, low growlsissuing from between his exposed fangs9.

  "Bella, run!" Mike cried out again from behind me. But I didn't turn. Iwas watching a light coming toward me from the beach.

  And then Edward stepped out from the trees, his skin faintly glowing, hiseyes black and dangerous. He held up one hand and beckoned10 me to come tohim. The wolf growled11 at my feet.

  I took a step forward, toward Edward. He smiled then, and his teeth weresharp, pointed12.

  "Trust me," he purred.

  I took another step.

  The wolf launched himself across the space between me and the vampire13,fangs aiming for the jugular14.

  "No!" I screamed, wrenching15 upright out of my bed.

  My sudden movement caused the headphones to pull the CD player off thebedside table, and it clattered16 to the wooden floor.

  My light was still on, and I was sitting fully4 dressed on the bed, withmy shoes on. I glanced, disoriented, at the clock on my dresser. It wasfive-thirty in the morning.

  I groaned17, fell back, and rolled over onto my face, kicking off my boots.

  I was too uncomfortable to get anywhere near sleep, though. I rolled backover and unbuttoned my jeans, yanking them off awkwardly as I tried tostay horizontal. I could feel the braid in my hair, an uncomfortableridge along the back of my skull18. I turned onto my side and ripped therubber band out, quickly combing through the plaits with my fingers. Ipulled the pillow back over my eyes.

  It was all no use, of course. My subconscious19 had dredged up exactly theimages I'd been trying so desperately20 to avoid. I was going to have toface them now.

  I sat up, and my head spun21 for a minute as the blood flowed downward.

  First things first, I thought to myself, happy to put it off as long aspossible. I grabbed my bathroom bag.

  The shower didn't last nearly as long as I hoped it would, though. Eventaking the time to blow-dry my hair, I was soon out of things to do inthe bathroom. Wrapped in a towel, I crossed back to my room. I couldn'ttell if Charlie was still asleep, or if he had already left. I went tolook out my window, and the cruiser was gone. Fishing again.

  I dressed slowly in my most comfy sweats and then made my bed — somethingI never did. I couldn't put it off any longer. I went to my desk andswitched on my old computer.

  I hated using the Internet here. My modem22 was sadly outdated23, my freeservice substandard; just dialing up took so long that I decided24 to goget myself a bowl of cereal while I waited.

  I ate slowly, chewing each bite with care. When I was done, I washed thebowl and spoon, dried them, and put them away. My feet dragged as Iclimbed the stairs. I went to my CD player first, picking it up off thefloor and placing it precisely26 in the center of the table. I pulled outthe headphones, and put them away in the desk drawer. Then I turned thesame CD on, turning it down to the point where it was background noise.

   With another sigh, I turned to my computer. Naturally, the screen wascovered in pop-up ads. I sat in my hard folding chair and began closingall the little windows. Eventually I made it to my favorite searchengine. I shot down a few more pop-ups and then typed in one word.

  Vampire.

  It took an infuriatingly long time, of course. When the results came up,there was a lot to sift27 through — everything from movies and TV shows torole-playing games, underground metal, and gothic cosmetic28 companies.

  Then I found a promising29 site — Vampires30 A—Z. I waited impatiently for itto load, quickly clicking closed each ad that flashed across the screen.

  Finally the screen was finished — simple white background with blacktext, academic-looking. Two quotes greeted me on the home page:

  Throughout the vast shadowy world of ghosts and demons31 there is no figureso terrible, no figure so dreaded32 and abhorred33, yet dight with suchfearful fascination34, as the vampire, who is himself neither ghost nordemon, but yet who partakes the dark natures and possesses the mysteriousand terrible qualities of both. — Rev35. Montague SummersIf there is in this world a well-attested account, it is that of thevampires. Nothing is lacking: official reports, affidavits36 of well-knownpeople, of surgeons, of priests, of magistrates37; the judicial38 proof ismost complete. And with all that, who is there who believes in vampires?

  — RousseauThe rest of the site was an alphabetized listing of all the differentmyths of vampires held throughout the world. The first I clicked on, theDanag, was a Filipino vampire supposedly responsible for planting taro39 onthe islands long ago. The myth continued that the Danag worked withhumans for many years, but the partnership40 ended one day when a woman cuther finger and a Danag sucked her wound, enjoying the taste so much thatit drained her body completely of blood.

  I read carefully through the descriptions, looking for anything thatsounded familiar, let alone plausible41. It seemed that most vampire mythscentered around beautiful women as demons and children as victims; theyalso seemed like constructs created to explain away the high mortalityrates for young children, and to give men an excuse for infidelity. Manyof the stories involved bodiless spirits and warnings against improperburials. There wasn't much that sounded like the movies I'd seen, andonly a very few, like the Hebrew Estrie and the Polish Upier, who wereeven preoccupied42 with drinking blood.

  Only three entries really caught my attention: the Romanian Varacolaci, apowerful undead being who could appear as a beautiful, pale-skinnedhuman, the Slovak Nelapsi, a creature so strong and fast it couldmassacre an entire village in the single hour after midnight, and oneother, the Stregoni benefici.

  About this last there was only one brief sentence.

  Stregoni benefici: An Italian vampire, said to be on the side ofgoodness, and a mortal enemy of all evil vampires.

  It was a relief, that one small entry, the one myth among hundreds thatclaimed the existence of good vampires.

  Overall, though, there was little that coincided with Jacob's stories ormy own observations. I'd made a little catalogue in my mind as I'd readand carefully compared it with each myth. Speed, strength, beauty, paleskin, eyes that shift color; and then Jacob's criteria43: blood drinkers,enemies of the werewolf, cold-skinned, and immortal44. There were very fewmyths that matched even one factor.

   And then another problem, one that I'd remembered from the small numberof scary movies that I'd seen and was backed up by today's reading —vampires couldn't come out in the daytime, the sun would burn them to acinder. They slept in coffins45 all day and came out only at night.

  Aggravated, I snapped off the computer's main power switch, not waitingto shut things down properly. Through my irritation46, I felt overwhelmingembarrassment. It was all so stupid. I was sitting in my room,researching vampires. What was wrong with me? I decided that most of theblame belonged on the doorstep of the town of Forks — and the entiresodden Olympic Peninsula, for that matter.

  I had to get out of the house, but there was nowhere I wanted to go thatdidn't involve a three-day drive. I pulled on my boots anyway, unclearwhere I was headed, and went downstairs. I shrugged47 into my raincoatwithout checking the weather and stomped48 out the door.

  It was overcast49, but not raining yet. I ignored my truck and started easton foot, angling across Charlie's yard toward the ever-encroachingforest. It didn't take long till I was deep enough for the house and theroad to be invisible, for the only sound to be the squish of the dampearth under my feet and the sudden cries of the jays.

  There was a thin ribbon of a trail that led through the forest here, or Iwouldn't risk wandering on my own like this. My sense of direction washopeless; I could get lost in much less helpful surroundings. The trailwound deeper and deeper into the forest, mostly east as far as I couldtell. It snaked around the Sitka spruces and the hemlocks50, the yews51 andthe maples52. I only vaguely53 knew the names of the trees around me, and allI knew was due to Charlie pointing them out to me from the cruiser windowin earlier days. There were many I didn't know, and others I couldn't besure about because they were so covered in green parasites54.

  I followed the trail as long as my anger at myself pushed me forward. Asthat started to ebb55, I slowed. A few drops of moisture trickled56 down fromthe canopy57 above me, but I couldn't be certain if it was beginning torain or if it was simply pools left over from yesterday, held high in theleaves above me, slowly dripping their way back to the earth. A recentlyfallen tree — I knew it was recent because it wasn't entirely58 carpeted inmoss — rested against the trunk of one of her sisters, creating asheltered little bench just a few safe feet off the trail. I stepped overthe ferns and sat carefully, making sure my jacket was between the dampseat and my clothes wherever they touched, and leaned my hooded59 head backagainst the living tree.

  This was the wrong place to have come. I should have known, but whereelse was there to go? The forest was deep green and far too much like thescene in last night's dream to allow for peace of mind. Now that therewas no longer the sound of my soggy footsteps, the silence was piercing.

  The birds were quiet, too, the drops increasing in frequency, so it mustbe raining above. The ferns stood higher than my head, now that I wasseated, and I knew someone could walk by on the path, three feet away,and not see me.

  Here in the trees it was much easier to believe the absurdities61 thatembarrassed me indoors. Nothing had changed in this forest for thousandsof years, and all the myths and legends of a hundred different landsseemed much more likely in this green haze62 than they had in my clear-cutbedroom.

  I forced myself to focus on the two most vital questions I had to answer,but I did so unwillingly63.

  First, I had to decide if it was possible that what Jacob had said aboutthe Cullens could be true.

  Immediately my mind responded with a resounding64 negative. It was sillyand morbid65 to entertain such ridiculous notions. But what, then? I askedmyself. There was no rational explanation for how I was alive at thismoment. I listed again in my head the things I'd observed myself: theimpossible speed and strength, the eye color shifting from black to gold and back again, the inhuman66 beauty, the pale, frigid67 skin. And more —small things that registered slowly — how they never seemed to eat, thedisturbing grace with which they moved. And the way besometimes spoke68, with unfamiliar69 cadences70 and phrases that better fit thestyle of a turn-of-the-century novel than that of a twenty-first-centuryclassroom. He had skipped class the day we'd done blood typing. He hadn'tsaid no to the beach trip till he heard where we were going. He seemed toknow what everyone around him was thinking… except me. He had told me hewas the villain71, dangerous…Could the Cullens be vampires?

  Well, they were something. Something outside the possibility of rationaljustification was taking place in front of my incredulous eyes. Whetherit be Jacob's cold ones or my own superhero theory, Edward Cullen wasnot… human. He was something more.

  So then — maybe. That would have to be my answer for now.

  And then the most important question of all. What was I going to do if itwas true?

  If Edward was a vampire — I could hardly make myself think the words —then what should I do? Involving someone else was definitely out. Icouldn't even believe myself; anyone I told would have me committed.

  Only two options seemed practical. The first was to take his advice: tobe smart, to avoid him as much as possible. To cancel our plans, to goback to ignoring him as far as I was able. To pretend there was animpenetrably thick glass wall between us in the one class where we wereforced together. To tell him to leave me alone — and mean it this time.

  I was gripped in a sudden agony of despair as I considered thatalternative. My mind rejected the pain, quickly skipping on to the nextoption.

  I could do nothing different. After all, if he was something… sinister,he'd done nothing to hurt me so far. In fact, I would be a dent72 inTyler's fender if he hadn't acted so quickly. So quickly, I argued withmyself, that it might have been sheer reflexes. But if it was a reflex tosave lives, how bad could he be? I retorted. My head spun around inanswerless circles.

  There was one thing I was sure of, if I was sure of anything. The darkEdward in my dream last night was a reflection only of my fear of theword Jacob had spoken, and not Edward himself. Even so, when I'd screamedout in terror at the werewolf's lunge, it wasn't fear for the wolf thatbrought the cry of "no" to my lips. It was fear that he would be harmed —even as he called to me with sharp-edged fangs, I feared for him.

  And I knew in that I had my answer. I didn't know if there ever was achoice, really. I was already in too deep. Now that I knew — if I knew —I could do nothing about my frightening secret. Because when I thought ofhim, of his voice, his hypnotic eyes, the magnetic force of hispersonality, I wanted nothing more than to be with him right now. Evenif… but I couldn't think it. Not here, alone in the darkening forest. Notwhile the rain made it dim as twilight73 under the canopy and pattered likefootsteps across the matted earthen floor. I shivered and rose quicklyfrom my place of concealment74, worried that somehow the path would havedisappeared with the rain.

  But it was there, safe and clear, winding75 its way out of the drippinggreen maze76. I followed it hastily, my hood60 pulled close around my face,becoming surprised, as I nearly ran through the trees, at how far I hadcome. I started to wonder if I was heading out at all, or following thepath farther into the confines of the forest. Before I could get toopanicky, though, I began to glimpse some open spaces through the webbedbranches. And then I could hear a car passing on the street, and I wasfree, Charlie's lawn stretched out in front of me, the house beckoningme, promising warmth and dry socks.

   It was just noon when I got back inside. I went upstairs and got dressedfor the day, jeans and a t-shirt, since I was staying indoors. It didn'ttake too much effort to concentrate on my task for the day, a paper onMacbeth that was due Wednesday. I settled into outlining a rough draftcontentedly, more serene77 than I'd felt since… well, since Thursdayafternoon, if I was being honest.

  That had always been my way, though. Making decisions was the painfulpart for me, the part I agonized78 over. But once the decision was made, Isimply followed through — usually with relief that the choice was made.

  Sometimes the relief was tainted79 by despair, like my decision to come toForks. But it was still better than wrestling with the alternatives.

  This decision was ridiculously easy to live with. Dangerously easy.

  And so the day was quiet, productive — I finished my paper before eight.

  Charlie came home with a large catch, and I made a mental note to pick upa book of recipes for fish while I was in Seattle next week. The chillsthat flashed up my spine80 whenever I thought of that trip were nodifferent than the ones I'd felt before I'd taken my walk with JacobBlack. They should be different, I thought. I should be afraid — I knew Ishould be, but I couldn't feel the right kind of fear.

  I slept dreamlessly that night, exhausted81 from beginning my day so early,and sleeping so poorly the night before. I woke, for the second timesince arriving in Forks, to the bright yellow light of a sunny day. Iskipped to the window, stunned82 to see that there was hardly a cloud inthe sky, and those there were just fleecy little white puffs83 thatcouldn't possibly be carrying any rain. I opened the window — surprisedwhen it opened silently, without sticking, not having opened it in whoknows how many years — and sucked in the relatively84 dry air. It wasnearly warm and hardly windy at all. My blood was electric in my veins85.

  Charlie was finishing breakfast when I came downstairs, and he picked upon my mood immediately.

  "Nice day out," he commented.

  "Yes," I agreed with a grin.

  He smiled back, his brown eyes crinkling around the edges. When Charliesmiled, it was easier to see why he and my mother had jumped too quicklyinto an early marriage. Most of the young romantic he'd been in thosedays had faded before I'd known him, as the curly brown hair — the samecolor, if not the same texture86, as mine — had dwindled87, slowly revealingmore and more of the shiny skin of his forehead. But when he smiled Icould see a little of the man who had run away with Renée when she wasjust two years older than I was now.

  I ate breakfast cheerily, watching the dust moats stirring in thesunlight that streamed in the back window. Charlie called out a goodbye,and I heard the cruiser pull away from the house. I hesitated on my wayout the door, hand on my rain jacket. It would be tempting88 fate to leaveit home. With a sigh, I folded it over my arm and stepped out into thebrightest light I'd seen in months.

  By dint89 of much elbow grease, I was able to get both windows in the truckalmost completely rolled down. I was one of the first ones to school; Ihadn't even checked the clock in my hurry to get outside. I parked andheaded toward the seldom-used picnic benches on the south side of thecafeteria. The benches were still a little damp, so I sat on my jacket,glad to have a use for it. My homework was done — the product of a slowsocial life — but there were a few Trig problems I wasn't sure I hadright. I took out my book industriously90, but halfway91 through recheckingthe first problem I was daydreaming92, watching the sunlight play on thered-barked trees. I sketched93 inattentively along the margins94 of myhomework. After a few minutes, I suddenly realized I'd drawn95 five pairsof dark eyes staring out of the page at me. I scrubbed them out with theeraser.

  "Bella!" I heard someone call, and it sounded like Mike.

   I looked around to realize that the school had become populated while I'dbeen sitting there, absentminded. Everyone was in t-shirts, some even inshorts though the temperature couldn't be over sixty. Mike was comingtoward me in khaki shorts and a striped Rugby shirt, waving.

  "Hey, Mike," I called, waving back, unable to be halfhearted on a morninglike this.

  He came to sit by me, the tidy spikes96 of his hair shining golden in thelight, his grin stretching across his face. He was so delighted to seeme, I couldn't help but feel gratified.

  "I never noticed before — your hair has red in it," he commented,catching97 between his fingers a strand98 that was fluttering in the lightbreeze.

  "Only in the sun."I became just a little uncomfortable as he tucked the lock behind my ear.

  "Great day, isn't it?""My kind of day," I agreed.

  "What did you do yesterday?" His tone was just a bit too proprietary99.

  "I mostly worked on my essay." I didn't add that I was finished with it —no need to sound smug.

  He hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Oh yeah — that's dueThursday, right?""Um, Wednesday, I think.""Wednesday?" He frowned. "That's not good… What are you writing yours on?""Whether Shakespeare's treatment of the female characters ismisogynistic."He stared at me like I'd just spoken in pig Latin.

  "I guess I'll have to get to work on that tonight," he said, deflated100. "Iwas going to ask if you wanted to go out.""Oh." I was taken off guard. Why couldn't I ever have a pleasantconversation with Mike anymore without it getting awkward?

  "Well, we could go to dinner or something… and I could work on it later."He smiled at me hopefully.

  "Mike…" I hated being put on the spot. "I don't think that would be thebest idea."His face fell. "Why?" he asked, his eyes guarded. My thoughts flickeredto Edward, wondering if that's where his thoughts were as well.

  "I think… and if you ever repeat what I'm saying right now I willcheerfully beat you to death," I threatened, "but I think that would hurtJessica's feelings."He was bewildered, obviously not thinking in that direction at all.

  "Jessica?""Really, Mike, are you blind?""Oh," he exhaled101 — clearly dazed. I took advantage of that to make myescape.

  "It's time for class, and I can't be late again." I gathered my books upand stuffed them in my bag.

  We walked in silence to building three, and his expression was distracted. I hoped whatever thoughts he was immersed in were leading himin the right direction.

  When I saw Jessica in Trig, she was bubbling with enthusiasm. She,Angela, and Lauren were going to Port Angeles tonight to go dressshopping for the dance, and she wanted me to come, too, even though Ididn't need one. I was indecisive. It would be nice to get out of townwith some girlfriends, but Lauren would be there. And who knew what Icould be doing tonight… But that was definitely the wrong path to let mymind wander down. Of course I was happy about the sunlight. But thatwasn't completely responsible for the euphoric mood I was in, not evenclose.

  So I gave her a maybe, telling her I'd have to talk with Charlie first.

  She talked of nothing but the dance on the way to Spanish, continuing asif without an interruption when class finally ended, five minutes late,and we were on our way to lunch. I was far too lost in my own frenzy102 ofanticipation to notice much of what she said. I was painfully eager tosee not just him but all the Cullens — to compare them with the newsuspicions that plagued my mind. As I crossed the threshold of thecafeteria, I felt the first true tingle103 of fear slither down my spine andsettle in my stomach. Would they be able to know what I was thinking? Andthen a different feeling jolted104 through me — would Edward be waiting tosit with me again?

  As was my routine, I glanced first toward the Cullens' table. A shiver ofpanic trembled in my stomach as I realized it was empty. With dwindlinghope, my eyes scoured105 the rest of the cafeteria, hoping to find himalone, waiting for me. The place was nearly filled — Spanish had made uslate — but there was no sign of Edward or any of his family. Desolationhit me with crippling strength.

  I shambled along behind Jessica, not bothering to pretend to listenanymore.

  We were late enough that everyone was already at our table. I avoided theempty chair next to Mike in favor of one by Angela. I vaguely noticedthat Mike held the chair out politely for Jessica, and that her face litup in response.

  Angela asked a few quiet questions about the Macbeth paper, which Ianswered as naturally as I could while spiraling downward in misery106. She,too, invited me to go with them tonight, and I agreed now, grasping atanything to distract myself.

  I realized I'd been holding on to a last shred107 of hope when I enteredBiology, saw his empty seat, and felt a new wave of disappointment.

  The rest of the day passed slowly, dismally108. In Gym, we had a lecture onthe rules of badminton, the next torture they had lined up for me. But atleast it meant I got to sit and listen instead of stumbling around on thecourt. The best part was the coach didn't finish, so I got another dayoff tomorrow. Never mind that the day after they would arm me with aracket before unleashing109 me on the rest of the class.

  I was glad to leave campus, so I would be free to pout110 and mope before Iwent out tonight with Jessica and company. But right after I walked inthe door of Charlie's house, Jessica called to cancel our plans. I triedto be happy that Mike had asked her out to dinner — I really was relievedthat he finally seemed to be catching on — but my enthusiasm soundedfalse in my own ears. She rescheduled our shopping trip for tomorrownight.

  Which left me with little in the way of distractions111. I had fishmarinating for dinner, with a salad and bread left over from the nightbefore, so there was nothing to do there. I spent a focused half hour onhomework, but then I was through with that, too. I checked my e-mail,reading the backlog112 of letters from my mother, getting snippier as theyprogressed to the present. I sighed and typed a quick response.

   Mom,Sorry. I've been out. I went to the beach with some friends. And I had towrite a paper.

  My excuses were fairly pathetic, so I gave up on that.

  It's sunny outside today - I know, I'm shocked, too - so I'm going to gooutside and soak up as much vitamin D as I can. I love you,Bella.

  I decided to kill an hour with non-school-related reading. I had a smallcollection of books that came with me to Forks, the shabbiest volumebeing a compilation113 of the works of Jane Austen. I selected that one andheaded to the backyard, grabbing a ragged25 old quilt from the linencupboard at the top of the stairs on my way down.

  Outside in Charlie's small, square yard, I folded the quilt in half andlaid it out of the reach of the trees' shadows on the thick lawn thatwould always be slightly wet, no matter how long the sun shone. I lay onmy stomach, crossing my ankles in the air, flipping114 through the differentnovels in the book, trying to decide which would occupy my mind the mostthoroughly. My favorites were Pride and Prejudice and Sense andSensibility. I'd read the first most recently, so I started into Senseand Sensibility, only to remember after I began three that the hero ofthe story happened to be named Edward. Angrily, I turned to MansfieldPark, but the hero of that piece was named Edmund, and that was just tooclose. Weren't there any other names available in the late eighteenthcentury? I snapped the book shut, annoyed, and rolled over onto my back.

  I pushed my sleeves up as high as they would go, and closed my eyes. Iwould think of nothing but the warmth on my skin, I told myself severely115.

  The breeze was still light, but it blew tendrils of my hair around myface, and that tickled116 a bit. I pulled all my hair over my head, lettingit fan out on the quilt above me, and focused again on the heat thattouched my eyelids117, my cheekbones, my nose, my lips, my forearms, myneck, soaked through my light shirt…The next thing I was conscious of was the sound of Charlie's cruiserturning onto the bricks of the driveway. I sat up in surprise, realizingthe light was gone, behind the trees, and I had fallen asleep. I lookedaround, muddled118, with the sudden feeling that I wasn't alone.

  "Charlie?" I asked. But I could hear his door slamming in front of thehouse.

  I jumped up, foolishly edgy119, gathering120 the now-damp quilt and my book. Iran inside to get some oil heating on the stove, realizing that dinnerwould be late. Charlie was hanging up his gun belt and stepping out ofhis boots when I came in.

  "Sorry, Dad, dinner's not ready yet — I fell asleep outside." I stifled121 ayawn.

  "Don't worry about it," he said. "I wanted to catch the score on thegame, anyway."I watched TV with Charlie after dinner, for something to do. There wasn'tanything on I wanted to watch, but he knew I didn't like baseball, so heturned it to some mindless sitcom122 that neither of us enjoyed. He seemedhappy, though, to be doing something together. And it felt good, despitemy depression, to make him happy.

  "Dad," I said during a commercial, "Jessica and Angela are going to lookat dresses for the dance tomorrow night in Port Angeles, and they wanted me to help them choose… do you mind if I go with them?""Jessica Stanley?" he asked.

  "And Angela Weber." I sighed as I gave him the details.

  He was confused. "But you're not going to the dance, right?""No, Dad, but I'm helping123 them find dresses — you know, giving themconstructive criticism." I wouldn't have to explain this to a woman.

  "Well, okay." He seemed to realize that he was out of his depth with thegirlie stuff. "It's a school night, though.""We'll leave right after school, so we can get back early. You'll be okayfor dinner, right?""Bells, I fed myself for seventeen years before you got here," hereminded me.

  "I don't know how you survived," I muttered, then added more clearly,"I'll leave some things for cold-cut sandwiches in the fridge, okay?

  Right on top."It was sunny again in the morning. I awakened124 with renewed hope that Igrimly tried to suppress. I dressed for the warmer weather in a deep blueV-neck blouse — something I'd worn in the dead of winter in Phoenix125.

  I had planned my arrival at school so that I barely had time to make itto class. With a sinking heart, I circled the full lot looking for aspace, while also searching for the silver Volvo that was clearly notthere. I parked in the last row and hurried to English, arrivingbreathless, but subdued126, before the final bell.

  It was the same as yesterday — I just couldn't keep little sprouts127 ofhope from budding in my mind, only to have them squashed painfully as Isearched the lunchroom in vain and sat at my empty Biology table.

  The Port Angeles scheme was back on again for tonight and made all themore attractive by the fact that Lauren had other obligations. I wasanxious to get out of town so I could stop glancing over my shoulder,hoping to see him appearing out of the blue the way he always did. Ivowed to myself that I would be in a good mood tonight and not ruinAngela's or Jessica's enjoyment128 in the dress hunting. Maybe I could do alittle clothes shopping as well. I refused to think that I might beshopping alone in Seattle this weekend, no longer interested in theearlier arrangement. Surely he wouldn't cancel without at least tellingme.

  After school, Jessica followed me home in her old white Mercury so that Icould ditch my books and truck. I brushed through my hair quickly when Iwas inside, feeling a slight lift of excitement as I contemplated129 gettingout of Forks. I left a note for Charlie on the table, explaining againwhere to find dinner, switched my scruffy130 wallet from my school bag to apurse I rarely used, and ran out to join Jessica. We went to Angela'shouse next, and she was waiting for us. My excitement increasedexponentially as we actually drove out of the town limits.

第七章 梦魇

我告诉查理我有很多作业要做,什么也不想吃。电视上正在直播一场让他情绪激昂的篮球赛——尽管理所当然地,我根本不知道精彩在那里。所以,他完全没有注意到我的表情或是语气有什么不对劲。

一进房间,我就把门锁上了。我在书桌里一阵乱翻,直到找到我的旧耳机为止。我把它们塞进了我的小随身听的插孔里,然后选了一张圣诞节时菲尔送给我的CD。这是他最喜欢的乐队之一,但就我的品味而言,他们歌里的低吼和尖叫用得有点太多了。我啪地一下把它放进随身听,然后躺倒在床上。我戴上耳机,按下播放键,把声音调大到让我的耳朵刺痛为止。我闭上眼睛,但还是觉得太亮了,于是我又加了一个枕头,压在脸上。(原文是脸的上半部。。。外国人好精确。。。)

我专心致志地听着歌,试图听懂那些歌词,弄懂那些复杂的鼓点和节拍。当我听着这张CD听第三遍的时候,至少,我已经知道合唱部分的所有歌词了。我惊奇地发现,当我忽略那些嘈杂的噪音时,我真的喜欢上这支乐队了。我得再次感谢菲尔。

这很有效。毁灭性的节拍让我没办法思考——这正是我要这样练习的所有意图。我一遍又一遍地听着这张CD,直到我能唱出里面所有的歌,直到,最后,我终于沉沉睡去。

我睁开了眼睛,发现自己在一个熟悉的地方。我的意识里的某些部分告诉我自己正在做梦。我认出了这座森林里的绿光。我能听到,在附近的某个地方,海浪正在撞击着岩礁。我知道,如果我能找到海,我就能看见太阳。我试图循声找去,但这时候,雅克布?布莱克出现了。他拽着我的手,拖着我向森林里最幽暗的地方走去。

“雅克布?怎么了?”我问道。他的脸上写满了恐惧,他拉着我,用尽全身的力气来制止我的反抗。我不想走进黑暗中。

“跑,贝拉,你得跑!”他恐惧地低声说道。

“这边,贝拉!”我认出了迈克的声音,那是从树林里黑暗的中心传来的。但我看不见他。

“为什么?”我问道,依然反抗着雅克布的紧握,渴望着去寻找太阳。

但雅克布放开了我的手,大叫着,忽然倒在了森林中灰扑扑的地面上。他躺在地上,抽搐着,我惊恐地看着他。

“雅克布!”我尖叫起来。但他不见了。在他的位置上出现了一只巨大的红棕色的狼,眼睛是黑色的。那只狼转过身去背对着我,冲着海岸的方向。他背上的毛发全都竖了起来,低低的嚎叫声从他露出的尖牙间传出来。

“贝拉,跑!”迈克又一次在我身后大声喊着。但我没有跑。我看见一道光从海滩那边向着我过来了。

然后,爱德华从树林中走出来。他的肌肤微微发着光,他的双眸漆黑而危险。他举起一只手,示意我到他那里去。狼在我的脚边咆哮着。

我向着爱德华的方向,向前迈了一步。于是他微笑起来,露出尖锐锋利的牙齿。

“相信我。”他愉快地低声说道。

我又踏了一步。

那匹狼让自己横亘在了我和吸血鬼之间的空地上,尖牙瞄准了他的颈动脉。

“不!”我尖叫着,猛地从床上弹起来。
我的忽然移动让耳机把随身听扯下了桌子,咔哒一声落到了地板上。

灯还开着,我和衣坐在床上,连鞋都没脱。我迷惑地张望着,看见了梳妆台上的时钟。现在是早上五点半。

我呻吟着,倒回床上,翻个身变成趴着的姿势,把靴子给踢掉了。但是,我太难受了,连睡觉的边缘都够不着(根本睡不着)。我又翻过身来,拉开牛仔裤的拉连,平躺着很不雅观地把裤子脱掉。我能感觉到我的发辫在脑袋后面拱成了一个很不舒服的小包。我转过头,把橡胶圈扯下来,用手指很快地梳了几下头发。我把枕头拉回来,压到我的眼睛上。

当然,一切都毫无作用。我的潜意识把我拼命想要忘掉的画面发掘出来。现在,我不得不面对它们了。

我坐起来,头晕目眩了一会儿,血液才开始向下涌动。重要的事先做,我自忖着,很高兴能把这件事尽可能地往后推。我抓起了我的洗漱包。

但是,沐浴并没有像我所希望的那样耗时间。尽管花了不少时间吹干头发,我还是很快把在浴室里能做的事都做完了。我裹上一块浴巾,走回我的房间。我说不准查理是还在睡呢,还是已经出去了。我走到窗前看出去,发现巡逻车已经开走了。又开始钓鱼了。

我慢慢地穿上自己最舒适的汗衫,(sweats。。。贝拉。。。你真的是老气横秋啊。。。)把床铺好——我很少这样做的。我再也不能把这事往后推了。我走到书桌前,打开了我的旧电脑。

我讨厌在这里上网。我的调制解调器相当过时了,我的免费上网服务完全在标准之下。光是拨号就得花上很长一段时间,所以在等待的时候,我决定先去给自己弄一碗麦片粥。

我吃得很慢,每一口都细细咀嚼。吃完以后,我把碗和勺子洗好,擦干,然后放回去。上楼时我故意磨磨蹭蹭地拖着步子走路。我先走向我的随身听,把它从地上捡起来,精确地放到桌子正中央。我把耳机拔下来,放回抽屉里。然后我把原来那张CD公放,把声音调低到刚刚好能成为背景音乐的那个点上。

我又叹了口气,这才转向我的电脑。自然,屏幕上全是弹窗广告。我坐到我那张硬邦邦的扶手椅上,开始把所有的小窗口关掉。最后,我打开了我最喜欢的搜索引擎。我又关掉了另外几个弹窗广告,然后键入了一个词。

吸血鬼。
当然,这花了简直让人气愤的相当长的时间。当结果出来的时候,还有很多内容需要进行筛选——那些内容从电影电视节目到角色扮演游戏,黑市金属,以及哥特妆伴游。(company也可能是公司。。。)

然后,我发现了一个看上去比较可信的网址——吸血鬼A-Z。我迫不及待地等着它打开页面,飞快地关闭屏幕上一闪而过的每个广告。最后,整个屏幕都清空了——简洁的白色背景和黑色标题,看上去很有学术氛围。主页上的两段引述首先映入了我的眼帘。

“自始至终,那个属于幽灵与恶魔的浩瀚的黑暗世界根本没有那么可怕,根本没有那么令人畏惧和憎恶,只是经过了太多充满恐惧的幻想的修饰。正如吸血鬼,他既不属于幽灵,也不属于恶魔,但还是带着几份着黑暗的本质,兼有着那两者的神秘与恐怖的特质。——蒙塔古?萨默斯”(《吸血鬼传奇》的作者,公认的吸血鬼研究专家)

“如果这个世界上有一份屡经证实的报告,那一定是关于吸血鬼的。没有任何东西能被遗漏掉:官方报道,知情者的口供,外科医生的证明,牧师的证词,法官的证言。所有司法上的证据都完备了。但是,即使知道这一切,有人会相信吸血鬼的存在吗?——卢梭”

余下部分是一张依字母表排列的清单,囊括了全世界所有关于吸血鬼的各种各样的传说。我首先点开了“丹拿”,这是一种菲律宾的吸血鬼,很多年以前是负责在岛上种植芋头的。这个传说里讲到,丹拿为人类工作了很多年,直到有一天,这样的合作关系却破裂了。一个女人不小心切到了手指,而一个丹拿为她吮吸伤口,因为觉得滋味太好了,最后它把她体内所有的血都喝干了。

我仔细地阅读这些描述,寻找任何听着觉得熟悉的内容,把那些说得天花乱坠的部分丢到一边。似乎大多数的吸血鬼传说都围绕着漂亮女人和小孩子展开,前者通常是恶魔,后者通常是受害者。它们似乎都是被捏造出来用来解释年幼的孩子居高不下的夭折率,或是给男人一个放纵的借口。许多故事包括了无形体的灵魂以及对不合乎礼法的葬礼的警告。没有多少听起来像是我看过的电影的内容,只有一小部分,像是希伯来的艾斯提瑞和波兰的乌皮尔,是一心吸血的吸血鬼。

(引用一下接力的注释:艾斯提瑞(Estrie),貌似吸血鬼的恶灵,喜欢小孩儿。乌皮尔(Upier),舌头上有尖刺,外形恐怖,嗜血如狂。就算正在熟睡,闻到血的味道也会立即从坟墓中跳出来。)

只有三个条目真正地吸引了我的注意力:罗马尼亚的维拉可拉斯,一个强大的不死生物,通常以俊美的、肌肤苍白的人类形态出现;斯洛伐克的耐拉斯,一种极其强壮,速度奇快的生物,午夜之后它能在一个小时之内屠杀掉整个村子的人;还有一个,斯特岗尼亚,有益的吸血鬼,关于最后这个吸血鬼的描述只有一个简短的句子。

斯特岗尼亚,有益的吸血鬼:一种意大利吸血鬼,据说是美德的保护者,是所有邪恶吸血鬼最致命的敌人。

这个短短的传说实在是一种宽慰,在上百条传说之中,这是仅有的宣称存在着有好的吸血鬼的一条。
但是,总的说来,这里没有太多内容和雅克布的故事或者我的观察结果有关。我一边看,一边在心里列了一份小小的列表,用来跟每条传说逐一对比。速度,强壮,美丽,苍白的肌肤,会变色的眼睛,还有雅克布的标准:饮血者,狼人的天敌,冰冷的肌肤,以及永恒的生命。没有多少传说能符合至少一个的因素。

还有另一个问题。我记得在我看过的寥寥无几的恐怖电影里提到过,再加上我今天所看的内容——吸血鬼不能在白天出没,阳光会把他们烧成灰烬的。白天他们都睡在棺材里面,只在夜里出来活动。

一气之下,我啪地一下关掉了电脑的电源,不想再干等着按部就班地关闭电脑。在怒火之外,我更感到了压倒性的窘迫。这一切都太愚蠢了。我居然坐在自己的房间里,搜索着吸血鬼。我到底是怎么了?我决定把大部分的指责归咎于福克斯镇的门槛——还有整个湿漉漉的奥林匹克半岛。

我迫切地想要离开这所房子,但任何我想去的地方都得开上三天的车才能到。无论如何,我还是穿上靴子,漫无目的地走下楼。我甚至没有看看天气,就直接套上了我的雨衣,重重地踏着步子走出门外。

天阴沉沉的,但没在下雨。我不去理会自己的卡车,徒步向东面走去,斜穿过查理的院子走向我此前从未涉足过的森林。没花多长时间我就走进了丛林深处,走到无论是从房子里还是从马路上都已经看不到的地方。唯一的声音是来自我脚下的湿土的吱嘎声,还有突如其来的松鸦的叫声。

一条窄窄的羊肠小道穿过密林延伸到这里,否则我不会冒着让自己迷路的风险走到这里来。我的方向感向来让人绝望:要是周遭有助于认路的信息再少一点,我就必定要迷路了。这条小径蜿蜒着伸向密林里更深处,就我所知,总体上是一路向东延伸。它曲折着绕过一棵棵西德加云杉和铁杉,一棵棵紫杉和枫木。我只是隐约知道自己周围的树的名字,而我知道的这一切都得归功于查理。更早些的时候,他曾在巡逻车里为我指出窗外这些树的名字。这里有许多我不认识的树,还有有一些树我没法确认,因为它们都覆盖在了密密麻麻的绿色藤蔓植物下。

我的怒气推着我往前走,于是我一直沿着小路走去。直到愤怒开始褪去,我才放慢了脚步。点点水滴从我头顶上的天穹潺潺而下,但我不能肯定是开始下雨了,还是纯粹是昨天雨后留在我头上高处的树叶丛中的积水,正在慢慢地滴落下来,完成它们归于尘土的旅程。一棵新倒伏下来的大树——我认为它很新是因为它还没有完全被苔藓覆盖住——斜倚在她的姐妹们的树干上,形成了一个掩蔽的小长椅,离小径只有安全的几英尺高。我踩过一片蕨类植物,小心地坐下来,确保我的夹克隔在了那个潮湿的座椅和相应的衣服之间。然后,我把戴着兜帽的头靠在那棵活着的树上。
我来错地方了,我应该早就知道的,但我还能去哪里呢?这个森林如此苍翠,太像昨晚的梦境了,我没法让自己的心绪保持宁静。既然这里已经不会再有我沉闷的脚步声了,这片沉寂就更加显得讽刺。鸟儿也安静下来了。滴水逐渐变得频繁起来,所以森林上空一定在下雨。那片蕨类植物高得比我还高,因为我是坐着的,所以我知道即使有人从三英尺外的小径上经过,也不会看见我的。(我又犯了个错误,之前的翻译应该是说那棵天然树椅离小路只有几英尺远,所以很安全,不会让贝拉迷路。)

我强迫自己把注意力集中在两个最重要的,我必须解决的问题上,但我实在很不情愿这样做。

首先,我必须作出判断,有没有这种可能,即雅克布所说的关于卡伦一家的事是真的。

我的心立刻作出了强烈的否定回答。用这么荒谬的想法来取乐既愚蠢又神经(痴线…)。但是,那又怎样呢?没有一个合理的解释能说明为什么此时此刻我还活着。我又一次在脑海中列出我自己观察到的东西:不可思议的速度和强壮,从黑色变成金色然后又变回来的眸色,超越常人的美丽,苍白冰冷的肌肤。还有更多——一件件小事慢慢地显露出来——譬如他们似乎从不吃东西,他们的举止优雅地惊人。还有有时候他们说话的方式,那种陌生的抑扬顿挫和遣词用句更适合于一本另一个世纪的小说的风格,而非二十一世纪的教室。我们检测血型那天他翘课了。他一直没说不去海滩之旅,直到他听到我们要去的地方。他似乎知道他周围的每个人都在想些什么……除了我。他告诉过我他是坏人,非常危险……

卡伦一家有可能是吸血鬼吗?

嗯,他们确实是某种东西。某种在合理判断的可能性之外的事情正在我明察秋毫的眼睛前发生着。不管是雅克布所说的冷族还是我自己的超级英雄论,爱德华?卡伦都不会是……人类。他是某种超越人类的存在。

那么——或许吧。这就是我现在能得出的结论。

另一个问题尤为重要。如果这是真的,我要怎么做?

如果爱德华真的是一个吸血鬼——我很难让自己去想这个词——我该怎么办?让别人牵连进来显然是不行的。我甚至不敢相信自己。不管我告诉谁,我都得承担相应的责任。

只有两个选项似乎比较有可行性。第一个是听取他的建议:聪明点,离他远远的。取消我们的计划,回到尽可能无视他的状态。当我们被迫坐在一起上课的时候,假装我们之间有一堵无法穿透的,厚厚的玻璃墙。告诉他离自己远点——而且这一次要表现出来。

当我思考着这个选择的时候,我忽然陷入了一种绝望的痛苦之中。我的心抗拒着这种痛苦,迅速跳到下一个选项。

我什么也不用做。毕竟,就算他是某种……危险的存在,至今他也没做什么伤害我的事。事实上,如果他的动作不是那么快的话,我本来会成为泰勒的挡泥板下的一道凹痕的。这么快,我和自己争论着,这绝对反映了一些问题。但如果这种反映是用来拯救生命的,他能有多坏?我反驳着。我的脑子徒劳无功地转着。

如果我能肯定什么事的话,有一件事情我很肯定。昨晚我梦里的那个黑暗的爱德华只是我对雅克布所说的话而产生的恐惧的表现,并非爱德华本人。虽然如此,当我因为狼人的进攻而惊恐地尖叫出声的时候,我也不是因为害怕狼而从嘴里喊出了“不”。我只是害怕着他可能会受伤——即使他露出锋利的尖牙呼唤着我,我也在为他担心着。
然后我知道,我已经得出答案了。我甚至不知道这里面是否真的有过一个抉择。我已经陷得太深了。我知道——如果我真的知道的话——对于我这个吓人的秘密,我什么也不会做的。因为每当我想起他,想起他的声音,他能够催眠的眼睛,他极具吸引力的个人魅力的时候,我只想立刻和他在一起,除此之外便别无所求了。即使……但我不能再想下去了。不能在这里,独自一人待在越来越黑的森林里想。不能在这个时候,不能在雨水让天边的暮色变得黯淡,滴滴答答的声音就像走过铺着瓷砖的地板的脚步声的时候想。我颤抖着,赶快从我的隐蔽之所站起来,担心着那条小路也许会消失在雨中。

但它仍在那里,安全又清晰,蜿蜒着穿过那片湿漉漉的绿色迷宫。我慌忙沿着小路走回去,我的兜帽拉得很低,垂在我的脸旁。我开始惊慌起来,几乎是跑着穿过树林,因为我觉得已经走了像来时那么远的距离了。我开始怀疑自己是不是已经冲过头了,又或者是沿着小路走到了森林里更远的地方。但在我变得更加惊慌失措以前,透过密密麻麻像蜘蛛网一样的树枝,我隐约能瞥见一些开阔地了。然后我听到了一辆车穿过街道的声音,我自由了。查理的草坪出现在我的面前,那所房子在召唤着我,许诺着温暖以及干燥的袜子。

我走回屋里的时候刚好是正午。我走上楼,换上这一天的装束——牛仔裤和T恤衫——因为我会一直待在家里。全力以赴解决今天的任务不会花上太多的工夫,只是一份周三截止的关于麦克白的论文而已。我心满意足地投入工作,罗列出了一份粗略的草稿。这份宁静的心境是我许久没有感受过的,自从……好吧,自从周四下午以后,如果我足够诚实的话。

不过,这通常是我的风格。做决定对我来说是一个痛苦的过程,一个让我饱受煎熬的过程。不过一旦我作出了决定,我就只会坚持到底——通常还会因为已经做出了选择而倍感宽慰。有时这种宽慰会被失望所破坏,正如我来福克斯的决定。但这仍比为作出选择而苦苦斟酌要好得多。

现在带着这个决定住下来要容易多了,荒谬可笑的容易。危机重重的容易。(梅尔实在是言简意赅字字珠玑。。。但我翻到几乎要吐血了。。。)

这一天就这样平静地过去了,而且效率很高——我在八点前就把论文写完了。查理到家的时候简直就是大丰收。我做了一个备忘录,提醒自己下周到西雅图去的时候记得买一本烹鱼食谱。无论何时我一想到这趟旅程,一阵寒意就会飞快地掠过我的脊柱。(不禁打了一个激灵)但这和我跟雅克布?布莱克散步以前所感到过的寒意没什么不同。我想,它们本来应该有所不同的。我本来应该觉得害怕——我知道我应该这样做的,但我确实感觉不到这种正确的恐惧感。

那天夜里我一夜无梦,睡得很好。因为那一天我起得太早,前一天晚上又睡得太少,耗尽了我的精力。这是我到福克斯以后的第二次,在一个晴朗的早上,在明黄色的光线中醒来。我跳到窗前,惊奇地发现天空里甚至没有半点云影,只有几片小小的羊毛般纯白蓬松的云彩,它们根本不可能带来任何雨水。我推开窗子,惊讶地发现当它打开的时候相当安静,完全没有卡住,一点儿也不像谁知道多少年没开过的样子。(从这里我们可以知道,Edward早就开始夜夜探香闺了。。。)我深吸了一口相对比较干爽的空气。外面很暖和,一丝风也没有。我的血液在血管里沸腾着。
当我下楼的时候,查理已经吃完早餐了,他立刻领会到了我的心情。

“适合外出的好天气。”他评价道。(Nice day out,在翻完无数的景色描写和心理活动以后,我对说话一向简洁的查理感激涕零。。。)

“是的。”我露齿一笑,赞同道。

他冲我一笑,棕色的眼睛弯成了两道弧线。当查理微笑的时候,很容易就能看出来为什么当初他和我妈会闪电般地早婚。那段日子里他曾有过的年轻人的浪漫,大部分在我记事以前就消失殆尽了。正如他卷曲的棕发——和我一样的颜色,即使质地有所不同——已经开始减少了,渐渐显露出越来越多的前额上发亮的肌肤。但当他微笑的时候,我依然可以看到那个和蕾妮一起私奔的男人的影子,那时候她只比我现在大两岁。

我兴高采烈地吃着早餐,看着点点纤尘在从后窗射入的阳光里轻舞飞扬。查理喊了一声再见,然后我听到了巡逻车开走的声音。出门的时候我拿着我的防水夹克,犹豫了一下。把它留在家里是个诱人却关乎命运的举措。我叹了口气,把它搭在手臂上,走进了数月以来我见过的最明媚的阳光里。

靠着肘部脂肪的力量,我终于能够把卡车里的每扇窗子都差不多完全摇了下来。我是第一个到学校的。我甚至没有看一眼时钟,就急急忙忙地出门了。我把车停好,径直走向自助餐厅南面的那些很少用到的野餐长凳。那些长凳还有点潮,所以我坐在了我的夹克上,为有机会用到它而高兴着。我的作业已经做完了——慢节奏社交生活的产物——但还有几道三角函数题我不能肯定自己做对了。我勤奋地拿出了书,但在检查第一道题的时候就中途停了下来,开始神游太虚,注视着在红色树皮的树顶上跃动着的阳光。我一时大意,在我的家庭作业的空白处画起速写来。几分钟以后,我才忽然注意到,自己画了五双黑色的眼睛,都在纸上盯着我看。我用橡皮擦把它们完全擦掉了。

“贝拉!”我听到某人在喊我,听起来像是迈克。

我抬起头看四周,这才发觉在我心不在焉地坐在这里的时候,学校里已经挤满了人。每个人都穿着T恤衫,有些人甚至还穿着短袖衫,尽管气温最多不超过六十华氏度。迈克向我走过来,一路挥着手,他穿着卡其色的短袖衫,套在一件条纹橄榄球衫外。

“嗨,迈克。”我喊着,向他挥手。我不能在这样一个早晨表现得毫无兴致。

他走过来坐到我身旁,梳得整整齐齐的头发在阳光里闪闪发亮。他张大嘴笑着。只是见到我就能让他这样高兴,我无法不感到满足。

“我之前从没注意到过——你的头发带着些红影。”他评价道,手指间抓着的一股细线在微风中轻轻摆动着。

“只在太阳下会这样。”

当他捋平我耳后的一缕头发时,我开始有些不安起来。

“好天气,不是吗?”

“我喜欢的天气。”我赞同道。

“你昨天都在做什么?”他的语气有点儿像是在过问自己的所有物的情况。(a bit too proprietary。。。)

“我几乎都在写我的论文。”我没有补充说我已经完成了——没有必然让自己显得是在炫耀。

他用手背拍了一下额头。“哦,是的——那是在周四截止,对吧?”

“呃,我想,应该是周三。”

“周三?”他皱起眉。“大事不妙……你的题目是什么?”

“莎士比亚对待女性角色的态度是否是厌恶女性的表现。”

他盯着我,就好像我刚刚在说隐语一样。(pig Latin。。。具体内容大家自己google一下吧,我就不再赘述了)

“我想我今晚就得着手写论文了。”他泄气地说道。“我本来还想问你愿不愿意出去逛逛呢。”

“哦。”我卸下了防备。为什么我每次跟迈克愉快的谈话都得以尴尬告终呢?

“嗯,我们可以一起吃晚餐,或者……我可以晚些再写论文。”他满怀希望地向我微笑着。

“迈克……”我不喜欢被置于这种处境。“我不认为这是一个好主意。”

他拉下脸来。“为什么?”他问道,眼里充满了警惕。我飞快地想起了爱德华,怀疑着这是否恰好也是他所想到的。

“我觉得……如果你敢立刻重复我所说的话,我会很乐意弄死你的。”我威胁道。“但我觉得这会伤害杰西卡的感情。”

他完全不知所措,显然根本没有往这方面想。“杰西卡?”

“真的,迈克,你是瞎子吗?”

“哦。”他轻呼道——显然还在迷惑着。我利用这一点,让自己脱身。

“上课的时间到了,我不能再迟到了。”我把书收起来,塞进包里。
我们沉默着向三号楼走去,他一脸的心烦意乱。我希望不管让他陷入沉思的内容是什么,最好都能把他领到正确的方向上去。

当我在三角函数课上看见杰西卡时,她正热切地说个不停。她,安吉拉还有劳伦准备今晚去天使港买舞会上穿的礼服,而且她希望我也去,尽管我并不需要买。我迟疑着。和几个小女友一起到镇外去是件好事,可劳伦也在。而且谁知道我今晚能做什么……但显然是那条错误的小路让我的心思徘徊不定的。当然,我喜欢阳光。但这并非是我心情愉快的全部原因,事实上,根本就不沾边。

所以我只给了她一个模棱两可的答复,告诉她我得先问问查理。

去上西班牙语课的时候,她一直滔滔不绝地说着舞会的事,无暇谈及其他,甚至直到上完课的时候都没停下来过。五分钟后,我们去吃午餐。我完全沉浸在自己疯狂的渴望之中,几乎没怎么注意到她说了什么。我痛苦地渴望着见到他,但不只是他,还有所有的卡伦家的孩子——把他们和折磨着我的头脑的猜疑一一对比。当我穿过自助餐厅的入口时,我第一次真切地感受到了一阵恐惧的刺痛滑过我的脊柱,落到我的胃里。他们能知道我在想什么吗?然后,另一种完全不同的感觉颠覆着我——爱德华会再次等着和我坐到一起吗?

如同例行公事一样,我第一眼便向卡伦家的桌子看去。当我意识到它是空的时,一阵恐惧的颤抖在我的胃里翻腾着。带着越来越渺茫的希望,我的眼睛搜索着自助餐厅的余下部分,希望能看见他独自坐着,等着我。到处都坐满了人——西班牙语课让我们来晚了——却没有任何爱德华或者他的某个家人的影子。一种无力的荒凉感袭击了我。

我蹒跚着走在杰西卡后面,不再费神假装在听她说话了。

我们来得太晚了,我们桌子上的人几乎都到齐了。我避开迈克旁边的那张空椅子,更青睐安吉拉旁边那张。我隐约留意到迈克彬彬有礼地为杰西卡拉开椅子,她的脸立刻容光焕发。

安吉拉安静地问了几个关于那篇《麦克白》的论文的问题,我尽可能答得正常些,尽管此时我正盘旋着落入绝望的深渊。她也邀请我今晚和她们一起去,而我立刻答应了,想要抓住任何能让我分心的事。

当我走进生物教室的时候,我意识到自己怀着最后一线希望。但在看到他空空的座位以后,新一轮的失望向我涌来。

这一天剩下的时间过得漫长又沉默。体育课上,我们要听羽毛球的规则讲演,这是排着队等着我的又一次煎熬。但至少,这意味着我可以坐下来听课,而不是在庭院里到处被绊到。最好的部分是教练没能讲完,所以明天我又将逃过一劫。在我从余下的课里解放出来以前,我根本不去在乎后天他们就要让我拿上球拍了。

我很高兴能离开学校,这样我就能在今晚陪着杰西卡出去以前自由自在地发脾气和意志消沉了。但正当我走进查理家大门的时候,杰西卡打电话来取消了我们的计划。我试图为迈克邀请她出去吃晚餐感到高兴——我确实为他最终明白过来而感到宽慰——但我热切的声音在我自己耳中显得很假。她把我们的购物之旅顺延到了明天晚上。
这就让我几乎没有了可以分心的事。我把鱼放进调味汁里腌好,又做了一个沙拉,再加上昨天晚上剩下的面包,晚餐就准备好了,再也没有什么事可做了。我花了半小时专心致志地写作业,但又把作业给写完了。我检查自己的电子邮件,看着积攒下来的我母亲发来的邮件,时间越靠后的语气越显暴躁。我叹了口气,打了一封简短的回复。

“妈妈,

抱歉。我出去了。我和几个朋友一起去了海滩。而且我还有一份论文要写。”

我的借口听起来相当地可悲,所以我放弃了,换成了下面这封。

“今天外面晴朗极了——我知道,我也很震惊——所以我打算到外面去,尽可能地多吸收一些维生素D。我爱你。

贝拉”

我决定用课外阅读来打发掉一个小时的时间。在我来福克斯的时候我随身带了一些藏书,其中最残破的那一册是简?奥斯丁的作品集。(英雄所见略同。。。)我挑出那本书,向后院走去,下楼的时候顺手从楼梯顶上的亚麻布衣橱里抓了一条破旧的褥子。

在查理小小的,四四方方的庭院里,我把那条褥子对叠了一下,把它放到树阴之外的草坪上。不管阳光照射多久,那块草坪永远都是微微湿润着的。我趴下来,把脚踝在空中交叠,飞快地浏览着书里的每一篇小时,试图决定哪一篇最能让我沉


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 bass APUyY     
n.男低音(歌手);低音乐器;低音大提琴
参考例句:
  • He answered my question in a surprisingly deep bass.他用一种低得出奇的声音回答我的问题。
  • The bass was to give a concert in the park.那位男低音歌唱家将在公园中举行音乐会。
2 shrieking abc59c5a22d7db02751db32b27b25dbb     
v.尖叫( shriek的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • The boxers were goaded on by the shrieking crowd. 拳击运动员听见观众的喊叫就来劲儿了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • They were all shrieking with laughter. 他们都发出了尖锐的笑声。 来自《简明英汉词典》
3 intruded 8326c2a488b587779b620c459f2d3c7e     
n.侵入的,推进的v.侵入,侵扰,打扰( intrude的过去式和过去分词 );把…强加于
参考例句:
  • One could believe that human creatures had never intruded there before. 你简直会以为那是从来没有人到过的地方。 来自辞典例句
  • The speaker intruded a thin smile into his seriousness. 演说人严肃的脸上掠过一丝笑影。 来自辞典例句
4 fully Gfuzd     
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地
参考例句:
  • The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气,然后全部呼出。
  • They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
5 unravel Ajzwo     
v.弄清楚(秘密);拆开,解开,松开
参考例句:
  • He was good with his hands and could unravel a knot or untangle yarn that others wouldn't even attempt.他的手很灵巧,其他人甚至都不敢尝试的一些难解的绳结或缠在一起的纱线,他都能解开。
  • This is the attitude that led him to unravel a mystery that long puzzled Chinese historians.正是这种态度使他解决了长期以来使中国历史学家们大惑不解的谜。
6 yelped 66cb778134d73b13ec6957fdf1b24074     
v.发出短而尖的叫声( yelp的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • He yelped in pain when the horse stepped on his foot. 马踩了他的脚痛得他喊叫起来。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • A hound yelped briefly as a whip cracked. 鞭子一响,猎狗发出一阵嗥叫。 来自《简明英汉词典》
7 twitched bb3f705fc01629dc121d198d54fa0904     
vt.& vi.(使)抽动,(使)颤动(twitch的过去式与过去分词形式)
参考例句:
  • Her lips twitched with amusement. 她忍俊不禁地颤动着嘴唇。
  • The child's mouth twitched as if she were about to cry. 这小孩的嘴抽动着,像是要哭。 来自《简明英汉词典》
8 bristling tSqyl     
a.竖立的
参考例句:
  • "Don't you question Miz Wilkes' word,'said Archie, his beard bristling. "威尔克斯太太的话,你就不必怀疑了。 "阿尔奇说。他的胡子也翘了起来。
  • You were bristling just now. 你刚才在发毛。
9 fangs d8ad5a608d5413636d95dfb00a6e7ac4     
n.(尤指狗和狼的)长而尖的牙( fang的名词复数 );(蛇的)毒牙;罐座
参考例句:
  • The dog fleshed his fangs in the deer's leg. 狗用尖牙咬住了鹿腿。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • Dogs came lunging forward with their fangs bared. 狗龇牙咧嘴地扑过来。 来自《简明英汉词典》
10 beckoned b70f83e57673dfe30be1c577dd8520bc     
v.(用头或手的动作)示意,召唤( beckon的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • He beckoned to the waiter to bring the bill. 他招手示意服务生把账单送过来。
  • The seated figure in the corner beckoned me over. 那个坐在角落里的人向我招手让我过去。 来自《简明英汉词典》
11 growled 65a0c9cac661e85023a63631d6dab8a3     
v.(动物)发狺狺声, (雷)作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 );低声咆哮着说
参考例句:
  • \"They ought to be birched, \" growled the old man. 老人咆哮道:“他们应受到鞭打。” 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He growled out an answer. 他低声威胁着回答。 来自《简明英汉词典》
12 pointed Il8zB4     
adj.尖的,直截了当的
参考例句:
  • He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
  • She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。
13 vampire 8KMzR     
n.吸血鬼
参考例句:
  • It wasn't a wife waiting there for him but a blood sucking vampire!家里的不是个老婆,而是个吸人血的妖精!
  • Children were afraid to go to sleep at night because of the many legends of vampire.由于听过许多有关吸血鬼的传说,孩子们晚上不敢去睡觉。
14 jugular oaLzM     
n.颈静脉
参考例句:
  • He always goes for the jugular.他总是直奔要害而去。
  • Bilateral internal jugular vein stenting is also a rare procedure.两侧内颈静脉支架置放术也是少见的技术。
15 wrenching 30892474a599ed7ca0cbef49ded6c26b     
n.修截苗根,苗木铲根(铲根时苗木不起土或部分起土)v.(猛力地)扭( wrench的现在分词 );扭伤;使感到痛苦;使悲痛
参考例句:
  • China has been through a wrenching series of changes and experiments. 中国经历了一系列艰苦的变革和试验。 来自辞典例句
  • A cold gust swept across her exposed breast, wrenching her back to reality. 一股寒气打击她的敞开的胸膛,把她从梦幻的境地中带了回来。 来自汉英文学 - 家(1-26) - 家(1-26)
16 clattered 84556c54ff175194afe62f5473519d5a     
发出咔哒声(clatter的过去式与过去分词形式)
参考例句:
  • He dropped the knife and it clattered on the stone floor. 他一失手,刀子当啷一声掉到石头地面上。
  • His hand went limp and the knife clattered to the ground. 他的手一软,刀子当啷一声掉到地上。
17 groaned 1a076da0ddbd778a674301b2b29dff71     
v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 );发牢骚;抱怨;受苦
参考例句:
  • He groaned in anguish. 他痛苦地呻吟。
  • The cart groaned under the weight of the piano. 大车在钢琴的重压下嘎吱作响。 来自《简明英汉词典》
18 skull CETyO     
n.头骨;颅骨
参考例句:
  • The skull bones fuse between the ages of fifteen and twenty-five.头骨在15至25岁之间长合。
  • He fell out of the window and cracked his skull.他从窗子摔了出去,跌裂了颅骨。
19 subconscious Oqryw     
n./adj.潜意识(的),下意识(的)
参考例句:
  • Nail biting is often a subconscious reaction to tension.咬指甲通常是紧张时的下意识反映。
  • My answer seemed to come from the subconscious.我的回答似乎出自下意识。
20 desperately cu7znp     
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地
参考例句:
  • He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
  • He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。
21 spun kvjwT     
v.纺,杜撰,急转身
参考例句:
  • His grandmother spun him a yarn at the fire.他奶奶在火炉边给他讲故事。
  • Her skilful fingers spun the wool out to a fine thread.她那灵巧的手指把羊毛纺成了细毛线。
22 modem sEaxr     
n.调制解调器
参考例句:
  • Does your computer have a modem?你的电脑有调制解调器吗?
  • Provides a connection to your computer via a modem.通过调制解调器连接到计算机上。
23 outdated vJTx0     
adj.旧式的,落伍的,过时的;v.使过时
参考例句:
  • That list of addresses is outdated,many have changed.那个通讯录已经没用了,许多地址已经改了。
  • Many of us conform to the outdated customs laid down by our forebears.我们许多人都遵循祖先立下的过时习俗。
24 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
25 ragged KC0y8     
adj.衣衫褴褛的,粗糙的,刺耳的
参考例句:
  • A ragged shout went up from the small crowd.这一小群人发出了刺耳的喊叫。
  • Ragged clothing infers poverty.破衣烂衫意味着贫穷。
26 precisely zlWzUb     
adv.恰好,正好,精确地,细致地
参考例句:
  • It's precisely that sort of slick sales-talk that I mistrust.我不相信的正是那种油腔滑调的推销宣传。
  • The man adjusted very precisely.那个人调得很准。
27 sift XEAza     
v.筛撒,纷落,详察
参考例句:
  • Sift out the wheat from the chaff.把小麦的壳筛出来。
  • Sift sugar on top of the cake.在蛋糕上面撒上糖。
28 cosmetic qYgz2     
n.化妆品;adj.化妆用的;装门面的;装饰性的
参考例句:
  • These changes are purely cosmetic.这些改变纯粹是装饰门面。
  • Laughter is the best cosmetic,so grin and wear it!微笑是最好的化妆品,所以请尽情微笑吧!
29 promising BkQzsk     
adj.有希望的,有前途的
参考例句:
  • The results of the experiments are very promising.实验的结果充满了希望。
  • We're trying to bring along one or two promising young swimmers.我们正设法培养出一两名有前途的年轻游泳选手。
30 vampires 156828660ac146a537e281c7af443361     
n.吸血鬼( vampire的名词复数 );吸血蝠;高利贷者;(舞台上的)活板门
参考例句:
  • The most effective weapon against the vampires is avampire itself. 对付吸血鬼最有效的武器就是吸血鬼自己。 来自电影对白
  • If vampires existed, don`t you think we would`ve found them by now? 如果真有吸血鬼,那我们怎么还没有找到他们呢? 来自电影对白
31 demons 8f23f80251f9c0b6518bce3312ca1a61     
n.恶人( demon的名词复数 );恶魔;精力过人的人;邪念
参考例句:
  • demons torturing the sinners in Hell 地狱里折磨罪人的魔鬼
  • He is plagued by demons which go back to his traumatic childhood. 他为心魔所困扰,那可追溯至他饱受创伤的童年。 来自《简明英汉词典》
32 dreaded XuNzI3     
adj.令人畏惧的;害怕的v.害怕,恐惧,担心( dread的过去式和过去分词)
参考例句:
  • The dreaded moment had finally arrived. 可怕的时刻终于来到了。
  • He dreaded having to spend Christmas in hospital. 他害怕非得在医院过圣诞节不可。 来自《用法词典》
33 abhorred 8cf94fb5a6556e11d51fd5195d8700dd     
v.憎恶( abhor的过去式和过去分词 );(厌恶地)回避;拒绝;淘汰
参考例句:
  • He abhorred the thoughts of stripping me and making me miserable. 他憎恶把我掠夺干净,使我受苦的那个念头。 来自辞典例句
  • Each of these oracles hated a particular phrase. Liu the Sage abhorred "Not right for sowing". 二诸葛忌讳“不宜栽种”,三仙姑忌讳“米烂了”。 来自汉英文学 - 中国现代小说
34 fascination FlHxO     
n.令人着迷的事物,魅力,迷恋
参考例句:
  • He had a deep fascination with all forms of transport.他对所有的运输工具都很着迷。
  • His letters have been a source of fascination to a wide audience.广大观众一直迷恋于他的来信。
35 rev njvzwS     
v.发动机旋转,加快速度
参考例句:
  • It's his job to rev up the audience before the show starts.他要负责在表演开始前鼓动观众的热情。
  • Don't rev the engine so hard.别让发动机转得太快。
36 affidavits 2e3604989a46cad8d3f3328a4d73af1a     
n.宣誓书,(经陈述者宣誓在法律上可采作证据的)书面陈述( affidavit的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • The woman offered written affidavits proving that she was the widow of Pancho Villa. 这女人提供书面证书,证明自己是庞科·比亚的遗孀。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The appeal was adjourned for affidavits to be obtained. 为获得宣誓证明书,上诉被推迟。 来自口语例句
37 magistrates bbe4eeb7cda0f8fbf52949bebe84eb3e     
地方法官,治安官( magistrate的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • to come up before the magistrates 在地方法院出庭
  • He was summoned to appear before the magistrates. 他被传唤在地方法院出庭。
38 judicial c3fxD     
adj.司法的,法庭的,审判的,明断的,公正的
参考例句:
  • He is a man with a judicial mind.他是个公正的人。
  • Tom takes judicial proceedings against his father.汤姆对他的父亲正式提出诉讼。
39 taro TgVzm3     
n.芋,芋头
参考例句:
  • Main grain crop has taro,corn,banana to wait.主要粮食作物有芋头、玉米、芭蕉等。
  • You celebrate your birthday with taro,red bean and butter.用红豆、芋头和黄油给自己过生日。
40 partnership NmfzPy     
n.合作关系,伙伴关系
参考例句:
  • The company has gone into partnership with Swiss Bank Corporation.这家公司已经和瑞士银行公司建立合作关系。
  • Martin has taken him into general partnership in his company.马丁已让他成为公司的普通合伙人。
41 plausible hBCyy     
adj.似真实的,似乎有理的,似乎可信的
参考例句:
  • His story sounded plausible.他说的那番话似乎是真实的。
  • Her story sounded perfectly plausible.她的说辞听起来言之有理。
42 preoccupied TPBxZ     
adj.全神贯注的,入神的;被抢先占有的;心事重重的v.占据(某人)思想,使对…全神贯注,使专心于( preoccupy的过去式)
参考例句:
  • He was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice anything wrong. 他只顾想着心事,没注意到有什么不对。
  • The question of going to the Mount Tai preoccupied his mind. 去游泰山的问题盘踞在他心头。 来自《简明英汉词典》
43 criteria vafyC     
n.标准
参考例句:
  • The main criterion is value for money.主要的标准是钱要用得划算。
  • There are strict criteria for inclusion in the competition.参赛的标准很严格。
44 immortal 7kOyr     
adj.不朽的;永生的,不死的;神的
参考例句:
  • The wild cocoa tree is effectively immortal.野生可可树实际上是不会死的。
  • The heroes of the people are immortal!人民英雄永垂不朽!
45 coffins 44894d235713b353f49bf59c028ff750     
n.棺材( coffin的名词复数 );使某人早亡[死,完蛋,垮台等]之物
参考例句:
  • The shop was close and hot, and the atmosphere seemed tainted with the smell of coffins. 店堂里相当闷热,空气仿佛被棺木的味儿污染了。 来自辞典例句
  • Donate some coffins to the temple, equal to the number of deaths. 到寺庙里,捐赠棺材盒给这些死者吧。 来自电影对白
46 irritation la9zf     
n.激怒,恼怒,生气
参考例句:
  • He could not hide his irritation that he had not been invited.他无法掩饰因未被邀请而生的气恼。
  • Barbicane said nothing,but his silence covered serious irritation.巴比康什么也不说,但是他的沉默里潜伏着阴郁的怒火。
47 shrugged 497904474a48f991a3d1961b0476ebce     
vt.耸肩(shrug的过去式与过去分词形式)
参考例句:
  • Sam shrugged and said nothing. 萨姆耸耸肩膀,什么也没说。
  • She shrugged, feigning nonchalance. 她耸耸肩,装出一副无所谓的样子。 来自《简明英汉词典》
48 stomped 0884b29fb612cae5a9e4eb0d1a257b4a     
v.跺脚,践踏,重踏( stomp的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • She stomped angrily out of the office. 她怒气冲冲,重步走出办公室。
  • She slammed the door and stomped (off) out of the house. 她砰的一声关上了门,暮暮地走出了屋了。 来自辞典例句
49 overcast cJ2xV     
adj.阴天的,阴暗的,愁闷的;v.遮盖,(使)变暗,包边缝;n.覆盖,阴天
参考例句:
  • The overcast and rainy weather found out his arthritis.阴雨天使他的关节炎发作了。
  • The sky is overcast with dark clouds.乌云满天。
50 hemlocks 3591f4f0f92457ee865b95a78b3e9127     
由毒芹提取的毒药( hemlock的名词复数 )
参考例句:
51 yews 4ff1e5ea2e4894eca6763d1b2d3157a8     
n.紫杉( yew的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • We hedged our yard with yews. 我们用紫杉把院子围起。 来自辞典例句
  • The trees grew more and more in groves and dotted with old yews. 那里的树木越来越多地长成了一簇簇的小丛林,还点缀着几棵老紫杉树。 来自辞典例句
52 maples 309f7112d863cd40b5d12477d036621a     
槭树,枫树( maple的名词复数 ); 槭木
参考例句:
  • There are many maples in the park. 公园里有好多枫树。
  • The wind of the autumn colour the maples carmine . 秋风给枫林涂抹胭红。
53 vaguely BfuzOy     
adv.含糊地,暖昧地
参考例句:
  • He had talked vaguely of going to work abroad.他含糊其词地说了到国外工作的事。
  • He looked vaguely before him with unseeing eyes.他迷迷糊糊的望着前面,对一切都视而不见。
54 parasites a8076647ef34cfbbf9d3cb418df78a08     
寄生物( parasite的名词复数 ); 靠他人为生的人; 诸虫
参考例句:
  • These symptoms may be referable to virus infection rather than parasites. 这些症状也许是由病毒感染引起的,而与寄生虫无关。
  • Kangaroos harbor a vast range of parasites. 袋鼠身上有各种各样的寄生虫。
55 ebb ebb     
vi.衰退,减退;n.处于低潮,处于衰退状态
参考例句:
  • The flood and ebb tides alternates with each other.涨潮和落潮交替更迭。
  • They swam till the tide began to ebb.他们一直游到开始退潮。
56 trickled 636e70f14e72db3fe208736cb0b4e651     
v.滴( trickle的过去式和过去分词 );淌;使)慢慢走;缓慢移动
参考例句:
  • Blood trickled down his face. 血从他脸上一滴滴流下来。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The tears trickled down her cheeks. 热泪一滴滴从她脸颊上滚下来。 来自《简明英汉词典》
57 canopy Rczya     
n.天篷,遮篷
参考例句:
  • The trees formed a leafy canopy above their heads.树木在他们头顶上空形成了一个枝叶茂盛的遮篷。
  • They lay down under a canopy of stars.他们躺在繁星点点的天幕下。
58 entirely entirely     
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地
参考例句:
  • The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
  • His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。
59 hooded hooded     
adj.戴头巾的;有罩盖的;颈部因肋骨运动而膨胀的
参考例句:
  • A hooded figure waited in the doorway. 一个戴兜帽的人在门口等候。
  • Black-eyed gipsy girls, hooded in showy handkerchiefs, sallied forth to tell fortunes. 黑眼睛的吉卜赛姑娘,用华丽的手巾包着头,突然地闯了进来替人算命。 来自辞典例句
60 hood ddwzJ     
n.头巾,兜帽,覆盖;v.罩上,以头巾覆盖
参考例句:
  • She is wearing a red cloak with a hood.她穿着一件红色带兜帽的披风。
  • The car hood was dented in.汽车的发动机罩已凹了进去。
61 absurdities df766e7f956019fcf6a19cc2525cadfb     
n.极端无理性( absurdity的名词复数 );荒谬;谬论;荒谬的行为
参考例句:
  • She has a sharp eye for social absurdities, and compassion for the victims of social change. 她独具慧眼,能够看到社会上荒唐的事情,对于社会变革的受害者寄以同情。 来自辞典例句
  • The absurdities he uttered at the dinner party landed his wife in an awkward situation. 他在宴会上讲的荒唐话使他太太陷入窘境。 来自辞典例句
62 haze O5wyb     
n.霾,烟雾;懵懂,迷糊;vi.(over)变模糊
参考例句:
  • I couldn't see her through the haze of smoke.在烟雾弥漫中,我看不见她。
  • He often lives in a haze of whisky.他常常是在威士忌的懵懂醉意中度过的。
63 unwillingly wjjwC     
adv.不情愿地
参考例句:
  • He submitted unwillingly to his mother. 他不情愿地屈服于他母亲。
  • Even when I call, he receives unwillingly. 即使我登门拜访,他也是很不情愿地接待我。
64 resounding zkCzZC     
adj. 响亮的
参考例句:
  • The astronaut was welcomed with joyous,resounding acclaim. 人们欢声雷动地迎接那位宇航员。
  • He hit the water with a resounding slap. 他啪的一声拍了一下水。
65 morbid u6qz3     
adj.病的;致病的;病态的;可怕的
参考例句:
  • Some people have a morbid fascination with crime.一些人对犯罪有一种病态的痴迷。
  • It's morbid to dwell on cemeteries and such like.不厌其烦地谈论墓地以及诸如此类的事是一种病态。
66 inhuman F7NxW     
adj.残忍的,不人道的,无人性的
参考例句:
  • We must unite the workers in fighting against inhuman conditions.我们必须使工人们团结起来反对那些难以忍受的工作条件。
  • It was inhuman to refuse him permission to see his wife.不容许他去看自己的妻子是太不近人情了。
67 frigid TfBzl     
adj.寒冷的,凛冽的;冷淡的;拘禁的
参考例句:
  • The water was too frigid to allow him to remain submerged for long.水冰冷彻骨,他在下面呆不了太长时间。
  • She returned his smile with a frigid glance.对他的微笑她报以冷冷的一瞥。
68 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
69 unfamiliar uk6w4     
adj.陌生的,不熟悉的
参考例句:
  • I am unfamiliar with the place and the people here.我在这儿人地生疏。
  • The man seemed unfamiliar to me.这人很面生。
70 cadences 223bef8d3b558abb3ff19570aacb4a63     
n.(声音的)抑扬顿挫( cadence的名词复数 );节奏;韵律;调子
参考例句:
  • He delivered his words in slow, measured cadences. 他讲话缓慢而抑扬顿挫、把握有度。
  • He recognized the Polish cadences in her voice. 他从她的口音中听出了波兰腔。 来自辞典例句
71 villain ZL1zA     
n.反派演员,反面人物;恶棍;问题的起因
参考例句:
  • He was cast as the villain in the play.他在戏里扮演反面角色。
  • The man who played the villain acted very well.扮演恶棍的那个男演员演得很好。
72 dent Bmcz9     
n.凹痕,凹坑;初步进展
参考例句:
  • I don't know how it came about but I've got a dent in the rear of my car.我不知道是怎么回事,但我的汽车后部有了一个凹痕。
  • That dent is not big enough to be worth hammering out.那个凹陷不大,用不着把它锤平。
73 twilight gKizf     
n.暮光,黄昏;暮年,晚期,衰落时期
参考例句:
  • Twilight merged into darkness.夕阳的光辉融于黑暗中。
  • Twilight was sweet with the smell of lilac and freshly turned earth.薄暮充满紫丁香和新翻耕的泥土的香味。
74 concealment AvYzx1     
n.隐藏, 掩盖,隐瞒
参考例句:
  • the concealment of crime 对罪行的隐瞒
  • Stay in concealment until the danger has passed. 把自己藏起来,待危险过去后再出来。
75 winding Ue7z09     
n.绕,缠,绕组,线圈
参考例句:
  • A winding lane led down towards the river.一条弯弯曲曲的小路通向河边。
  • The winding trail caused us to lose our orientation.迂回曲折的小道使我们迷失了方向。
76 maze F76ze     
n.迷宫,八阵图,混乱,迷惑
参考例句:
  • He found his way through the complex maze of corridors.他穿过了迷宮一样的走廊。
  • She was lost in the maze for several hours.一连几小时,她的头脑处于一片糊涂状态。
77 serene PD2zZ     
adj. 安详的,宁静的,平静的
参考例句:
  • He has entered the serene autumn of his life.他已进入了美好的中年时期。
  • He didn't speak much,he just smiled with that serene smile of his.他话不多,只是脸上露出他招牌式的淡定的微笑。
78 agonized Oz5zc6     
v.使(极度)痛苦,折磨( agonize的过去式和过去分词 );苦斗;苦苦思索;感到极度痛苦
参考例句:
  • All the time they agonized and prayed. 他们一直在忍受痛苦并且祈祷。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • She agonized herself with the thought of her loss. 她念念不忘自己的损失,深深陷入痛苦之中。 来自辞典例句
79 tainted qgDzqS     
adj.腐坏的;污染的;沾污的;感染的v.使变质( taint的过去式和过去分词 );使污染;败坏;被污染,腐坏,败坏
参考例句:
  • The administration was tainted with scandal. 丑闻使得政府声名狼藉。
  • He was considered tainted by association with the corrupt regime. 他因与腐败政府有牵连而名誉受损。 来自《简明英汉词典》
80 spine lFQzT     
n.脊柱,脊椎;(动植物的)刺;书脊
参考例句:
  • He broke his spine in a fall from a horse.他从马上跌下摔断了脊梁骨。
  • His spine developed a slight curve.他的脊柱有点弯曲。
81 exhausted 7taz4r     
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的
参考例句:
  • It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长,到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
  • Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。
82 stunned 735ec6d53723be15b1737edd89183ec2     
adj. 震惊的,惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词
参考例句:
  • The fall stunned me for a moment. 那一下摔得我昏迷了片刻。
  • The leaders of the Kopper Company were then stunned speechless. 科伯公司的领导们当时被惊得目瞪口呆。
83 puffs cb3699ccb6e175dfc305ea6255d392d6     
n.吸( puff的名词复数 );(烟斗或香烟的)一吸;一缕(烟、蒸汽等);(呼吸或风的)呼v.使喷出( puff的第三人称单数 );喷着汽(或烟)移动;吹嘘;吹捧
参考例句:
  • We sat exchanging puffs from that wild pipe of his. 我们坐在那里,轮番抽着他那支野里野气的烟斗。 来自辞典例句
  • Puffs of steam and smoke came from the engine. 一股股蒸汽和烟雾从那火车头里冒出来。 来自辞典例句
84 relatively bkqzS3     
adv.比较...地,相对地
参考例句:
  • The rabbit is a relatively recent introduction in Australia.兔子是相对较新引入澳大利亚的物种。
  • The operation was relatively painless.手术相对来说不痛。
85 veins 65827206226d9e2d78ea2bfe697c6329     
n.纹理;矿脉( vein的名词复数 );静脉;叶脉;纹理
参考例句:
  • The blood flows from the capillaries back into the veins. 血从毛细血管流回静脉。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • I felt a pleasant glow in all my veins from the wine. 喝过酒后我浑身的血都热烘烘的,感到很舒服。 来自《简明英汉词典》
86 texture kpmwQ     
n.(织物)质地;(材料)构造;结构;肌理
参考例句:
  • We could feel the smooth texture of silk.我们能感觉出丝绸的光滑质地。
  • Her skin has a fine texture.她的皮肤细腻。
87 dwindled b4a0c814a8e67ec80c5f9a6cf7853aab     
v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • Support for the party has dwindled away to nothing. 支持这个党派的人渐渐化为乌有。
  • His wealth dwindled to nothingness. 他的钱财化为乌有。 来自《简明英汉词典》
88 tempting wgAzd4     
a.诱人的, 吸引人的
参考例句:
  • It is tempting to idealize the past. 人都爱把过去的日子说得那么美好。
  • It was a tempting offer. 这是个诱人的提议。
89 dint plVza     
n.由于,靠;凹坑
参考例句:
  • He succeeded by dint of hard work.他靠苦干获得成功。
  • He reached the top by dint of great effort.他费了很大的劲终于爬到了顶。
90 industriously f43430e7b5117654514f55499de4314a     
参考例句:
  • She paces the whole class in studying English industriously. 她在刻苦学习英语上给全班同学树立了榜样。
  • He industriously engages in unostentatious hard work. 他勤勤恳恳,埋头苦干。
91 halfway Xrvzdq     
adj.中途的,不彻底的,部分的;adv.半路地,在中途,在半途
参考例句:
  • We had got only halfway when it began to get dark.走到半路,天就黑了。
  • In study the worst danger is give up halfway.在学习上,最忌讳的是有始无终。
92 daydreaming 9c041c062b3f0df80606b13db4b7c0c3     
v.想入非非,空想( daydream的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • Stop daydreaming and be realistic. 别空想了,还是从实际出发吧。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • Bill was sitting and daydreaming so his mother told him to come down to earth and to do his homework. 比尔坐着空想, 他母亲要他面对现实,去做课外作业。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
93 sketched 7209bf19355618c1eb5ca3c0fdf27631     
v.草拟(sketch的过去式与过去分词形式)
参考例句:
  • The historical article sketched the major events of the decade. 这篇有关历史的文章概述了这十年中的重大事件。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He sketched the situation in a few vivid words. 他用几句生动的语言简述了局势。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
94 margins 18cef75be8bf936fbf6be827537c8585     
边( margin的名词复数 ); 利润; 页边空白; 差数
参考例句:
  • They have always had to make do with relatively small profit margins. 他们不得不经常设法应付较少的利润额。
  • To create more space between the navigation items, add left and right margins to the links. 在每个项目间留更多的空隙,加左或者右的margins来定义链接。
95 drawn MuXzIi     
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的
参考例句:
  • All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
  • Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。
96 spikes jhXzrc     
n.穗( spike的名词复数 );跑鞋;(防滑)鞋钉;尖状物v.加烈酒于( spike的第三人称单数 );偷偷地给某人的饮料加入(更多)酒精( 或药物);把尖状物钉入;打乱某人的计划
参考例句:
  • a row of iron spikes on a wall 墙头的一排尖铁
  • There is a row of spikes on top of the prison wall to prevent the prisoners escaping. 监狱墙头装有一排尖钉,以防犯人逃跑。 来自《简明英汉词典》
97 catching cwVztY     
adj.易传染的,有魅力的,迷人的,接住
参考例句:
  • There are those who think eczema is catching.有人就是认为湿疹会传染。
  • Enthusiasm is very catching.热情非常富有感染力。
98 strand 7GAzH     
vt.使(船)搁浅,使(某人)困于(某地)
参考例句:
  • She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ears.她把一缕散发夹到了耳后。
  • The climbers had been stranded by a storm.登山者被暴风雨困住了。
99 proprietary PiZyG     
n.所有权,所有的;独占的;业主
参考例句:
  • We had to take action to protect the proprietary technology.我们必须采取措施保护专利技术。
  • Proprietary right is the foundation of jus rerem.所有权是物权法之根基。
100 deflated deflated     
adj. 灰心丧气的
参考例句:
  • I was quite deflated by her lack of interest in my suggestions.他对我的建议兴趣不大,令我感到十分气馁。
  • He was deflated by the news.这消息令他泄气。
101 exhaled 8e9b6351819daaa316dd7ab045d3176d     
v.呼出,发散出( exhale的过去式和过去分词 );吐出(肺中的空气、烟等),呼气
参考例句:
  • He sat back and exhaled deeply. 他仰坐着深深地呼气。
  • He stamped his feet and exhaled a long, white breath. 跺了跺脚,他吐了口长气,很长很白。 来自汉英文学 - 骆驼祥子
102 frenzy jQbzs     
n.疯狂,狂热,极度的激动
参考例句:
  • He was able to work the young students up into a frenzy.他能激起青年学生的狂热。
  • They were singing in a frenzy of joy.他们欣喜若狂地高声歌唱。
103 tingle tJzzu     
vi.感到刺痛,感到激动;n.刺痛,激动
参考例句:
  • The music made my blood tingle.那音乐使我热血沸腾。
  • The cold caused a tingle in my fingers.严寒使我的手指有刺痛感。
104 jolted 80f01236aafe424846e5be1e17f52ec9     
(使)摇动, (使)震惊( jolt的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • The truck jolted and rattled over the rough ground. 卡车嘎吱嘎吱地在凹凸不平的地面上颠簸而行。
  • She was jolted out of her reverie as the door opened. 门一开就把她从幻想中惊醒。
105 scoured ed55d3b2cb4a5db1e4eb0ed55b922516     
走遍(某地)搜寻(人或物)( scour的过去式和过去分词 ); (用力)刷; 擦净; 擦亮
参考例句:
  • We scoured the area for somewhere to pitch our tent. 我们四处查看,想找一个搭帐篷的地方。
  • The torrents scoured out a channel down the hill side. 急流沿着山腰冲刷出一条水沟。
106 misery G10yi     
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦
参考例句:
  • Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
  • He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。
107 shred ETYz6     
v.撕成碎片,变成碎片;n.碎布条,细片,些少
参考例句:
  • There is not a shred of truth in what he says.他说的全是骗人的鬼话。
  • The food processor can shred all kinds of vegetables.这架食品加工机可将各种蔬菜切丝切条。
108 dismally cdb50911b7042de000f0b2207b1b04d0     
adv.阴暗地,沉闷地
参考例句:
  • Fei Little Beard assented dismally. 费小胡子哭丧着脸回答。 来自子夜部分
  • He began to howl dismally. 它就凄凉地吠叫起来。 来自辞典例句
109 unleashing 8742c1b567c83ec8d9e14c8aeacbc729     
v.把(感情、力量等)释放出来,发泄( unleash的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • Company logos: making people's life better by unleashing Cummins power. 公司理念:以康明斯动力建设更美好的生活! 来自互联网
  • Sooner or later the dam will burst, unleashing catastrophic destruction. 否则堤坝将崩溃,酿成灾难。 来自互联网
110 pout YP8xg     
v.撅嘴;绷脸;n.撅嘴;生气,不高兴
参考例句:
  • She looked at her lover with a pretentious pout.她看着恋人,故作不悦地撅着嘴。
  • He whined and pouted when he did not get what he wanted.他要是没得到想要的东西就会发牢骚、撅嘴。
111 distractions ff1d4018fe7ed703bc7b2e2e97ba2216     
n.使人分心的事[人]( distraction的名词复数 );娱乐,消遣;心烦意乱;精神错乱
参考例句:
  • I find it hard to work at home because there are too many distractions. 我发觉在家里工作很难,因为使人分心的事太多。
  • There are too many distractions here to work properly. 这里叫人分心的事太多,使人无法好好工作。 来自《简明英汉词典》
112 backlog bPiyc     
n.积压未办之事
参考例句:
  • It will take a month to clear the backlog of work.要花一个月的时间才能清理完积压的工作。
  • Investment is needed to reduce the backlog of repairs.需要投资来減轻积压的维修工作。
113 compilation kptzy     
n.编译,编辑
参考例句:
  • One of the first steps taken was the compilation of a report.首先采取的步骤之一是写一份报告。
  • The compilation of such diagrams,is of lasting value for astronomy.绘制这样的图对天文学有永恒的价值。
114 flipping b69cb8e0c44ab7550c47eaf7c01557e4     
讨厌之极的
参考例句:
  • I hate this flipping hotel! 我讨厌这个该死的旅馆!
  • Don't go flipping your lid. 别发火。
115 severely SiCzmk     
adv.严格地;严厉地;非常恶劣地
参考例句:
  • He was severely criticized and removed from his post.他受到了严厉的批评并且被撤了职。
  • He is severely put down for his careless work.他因工作上的粗心大意而受到了严厉的批评。
116 tickled 2db1470d48948f1aa50b3cf234843b26     
(使)发痒( tickle的过去式和过去分词 ); (使)愉快,逗乐
参考例句:
  • We were tickled pink to see our friends on television. 在电视中看到我们的一些朋友,我们高兴极了。
  • I tickled the baby's feet and made her laugh. 我胳肢孩子的脚,使她发笑。
117 eyelids 86ece0ca18a95664f58bda5de252f4e7     
n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 );眼睛也不眨一下;不露声色;面不改色
参考例句:
  • She was so tired, her eyelids were beginning to droop. 她太疲倦了,眼睑开始往下垂。
  • Her eyelids drooped as if she were on the verge of sleep. 她眼睑低垂好像快要睡着的样子。 来自《简明英汉词典》
118 muddled cb3d0169d47a84e95c0dfa5c4d744221     
adj.混乱的;糊涂的;头脑昏昏然的v.弄乱,弄糟( muddle的过去式);使糊涂;对付,混日子
参考例句:
  • He gets muddled when the teacher starts shouting. 老师一喊叫他就心烦意乱。
  • I got muddled up and took the wrong turning. 我稀里糊涂地拐错了弯。 来自《简明英汉词典》
119 edgy FuMzWT     
adj.不安的;易怒的
参考例句:
  • She's been a bit edgy lately,waiting for the exam results.她正在等待考试结果,所以最近有些焦躁不安。
  • He was nervous and edgy, still chain-smoking.他紧张不安,还在一根接一根地抽着烟。
120 gathering ChmxZ     
n.集会,聚会,聚集
参考例句:
  • He called on Mr. White to speak at the gathering.他请怀特先生在集会上讲话。
  • He is on the wing gathering material for his novels.他正忙于为他的小说收集资料。
121 stifled 20d6c5b702a525920b7425fe94ea26a5     
(使)窒息, (使)窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 ); 镇压,遏制; 堵
参考例句:
  • The gas stifled them. 煤气使他们窒息。
  • The rebellion was stifled. 叛乱被镇压了。
122 sitcom 9iMzBQ     
n.情景喜剧,(广播、电视的)系列幽默剧
参考例句:
  • This sitcom is produced in cooperation with Hong Kong TV.这部连续剧是同香港电视台联合制作的。
  • I heard that a new sitcom is coming out next season.我听说下一季会推出一个新的情境喜剧。
123 helping 2rGzDc     
n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的,辅助的
参考例句:
  • The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
  • By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。
124 awakened de71059d0b3cd8a1de21151c9166f9f0     
v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到
参考例句:
  • She awakened to the sound of birds singing. 她醒来听到鸟的叫声。
  • The public has been awakened to the full horror of the situation. 公众完全意识到了这一状况的可怕程度。 来自《简明英汉词典》
125 phoenix 7Njxf     
n.凤凰,长生(不死)鸟;引申为重生
参考例句:
  • The airline rose like a phoenix from the ashes.这家航空公司又起死回生了。
  • The phoenix worship of China is fetish worship not totem adoration.中国凤崇拜是灵物崇拜而非图腾崇拜。
126 subdued 76419335ce506a486af8913f13b8981d     
adj. 屈服的,柔和的,减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词
参考例句:
  • He seemed a bit subdued to me. 我觉得他当时有点闷闷不乐。
  • I felt strangely subdued when it was all over. 一切都结束的时候,我却有一种奇怪的压抑感。
127 sprouts 7250d0f3accee8359a172a38c37bd325     
n.新芽,嫩枝( sprout的名词复数 )v.发芽( sprout的第三人称单数 );抽芽;出现;(使)涌现出
参考例句:
  • The wheat sprouts grew perceptibly after the rain. 下了一场雨,麦苗立刻见长。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • The sprouts have pushed up the earth. 嫩芽把土顶起来了。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
128 enjoyment opaxV     
n.乐趣;享有;享用
参考例句:
  • Your company adds to the enjoyment of our visit. 有您的陪同,我们这次访问更加愉快了。
  • After each joke the old man cackled his enjoyment.每逢讲完一个笑话,这老人就呵呵笑着表示他的高兴。
129 contemplated d22c67116b8d5696b30f6705862b0688     
adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式
参考例句:
  • The doctor contemplated the difficult operation he had to perform. 医生仔细地考虑他所要做的棘手的手术。
  • The government has contemplated reforming the entire tax system. 政府打算改革整个税收体制。
130 scruffy YsWyG     
adj.肮脏的,不洁的
参考例句:
  • Despite her scruffy clothes,there was an air of sophistication about her.尽管她衣衫褴褛,但神态老练世故。
  • His scruffy appearance does not reflect his character.他邋遢的外表并不反映他的性格。


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