Mrs. General Epanchin was a proud woman by nature. What must her feelings have been when she heard that Prince Muishkin, the last of his and her line, had arrived in beggar's guise1, a wretched idiot, a recipient2 of charity--all of which details the general gave out for greater effect! He was anxious to steal her interest at the first swoop3, so as to distract her thoughts from other matters nearer home.
Mrs. Epanchin was in the habit of holding herself very straight, and staring before her, without speaking, in moments of excitement.
She was a fine woman of the same age as her husband, with a slightly hooked nose, a high, narrow forehead, thick hair turning a little grey, and a sallow complexion4. Her eyes were grey and wore a very curious expression at times. She believed them to be most effective--a belief that nothing could alter.
"What, receive him! Now, at once?" asked Mrs. Epanchin, gazing vaguely5 at her husband as he stood fidgeting before her.
"Oh, dear me, I assure you there is no need to stand on ceremony with him," the general explained hastily. "He is quite a child, not to say a pathetic-looking creature. He has fits of some sort, and has just arrived from Switzerland, straight from the station, dressed like a German and without a farthing in his pocket. I gave him twenty-five roubles to go on with, and am going to find him some easy place in one of the government offices. I should like you to ply6 him well with the victuals7, my dears, for I should think he must be very hungry."
"You astonish me," said the lady, gazing as before. "Fits, and hungry too! What sort of fits?"
"Oh, they don't come on frequently, besides, he's a regular child, though he seems to be fairly educated. I should like you, if possible, my dears," the general added, making slowly for the door, "to put him through his paces a bit, and see what he is good for. I think you should be kind to him; it is a good deed, you know--however, just as you like, of course--but he is a sort of relation, remember, and I thought it might interest you to see the young fellow, seeing that this is so."
"Oh, of course, mamma, if we needn't stand on ceremony with him, we must give the poor fellow something to eat after his journey; especially as he has not the least idea where to go to," said Alexandra, the eldest9 of the girls.
"Besides, he's quite a child; we can entertain him with a little hide-and-seek, in case of need," said Adelaida.
"Hide-and-seek? What do you mean?" inquired Mrs. Epanchin.
"Oh, do stop pretending, mamma," cried Aglaya, in vexation. "Send him up, father; mother allows."
The general rang the bell and gave orders that the prince should be shown in.
"Only on condition that he has a napkin under his chin at lunch, then," said Mrs. Epanchin, "and let Fedor, or Mavra, stand behind him while he eats. Is he quiet when he has these fits? He doesn't show violence, does he?"
"On the contrary, he seems to be very well brought up. His manners are excellent--but here he is himself. Here you are, prince--let me introduce you, the last of the Muishkins, a relative of your own, my dear, or at least of the same name. Receive him kindly10, please. They'll bring in lunch directly, prince; you must stop and have some, but you must excuse me. I'm in a hurry, I must be off--"
"We all know where YOU must be off to!" said Mrs. Epanchin, in a meaning voice.
"Yes, yes--I must hurry away, I'm late! Look here, dears, let him write you something in your albums; you've no idea what a wonderful caligraphist he is, wonderful talent! He has just written out 'Abbot Pafnute signed this' for me. Well, au revoir!"
"Stop a minute; where are you off to? Who is this abbot?" cried Mrs. Epanchin to her retreating husband in a tone of excited annoyance11.
"Yes, my dear, it was an old abbot of that name-I must be off to see the count, he's waiting for me, I'm late--Good-bye! Au revoir, prince!"--and the general bolted at full speed.
"Oh, yes--I know what count you're going to see!" remarked his wife in a cutting manner, as she turned her angry eyes on the prince. "Now then, what's all this about?--What abbot--Who's Pafnute?" she added, brusquely.
"Mamma!" said Alexandra, shocked at her rudeness.
Aglaya stamped her foot.
"Nonsense! Let me alone!" said the angry mother. "Now then, prince, sit down here, no, nearer, come nearer the light! I want to have a good look at you. So, now then, who is this abbot?"
"Abbot Pafnute," said our friend, seriously and with deference12.
"Pafnute, yes. And who was he?"
Mrs. Epanchin put these questions hastily and brusquely, and when the prince answered she nodded her head sagely13 at each word he said.
"The Abbot Pafnute lived in the fourteenth century," began the prince; "he was in charge of one of the monasteries14 on the Volga, about where our present Kostroma government lies. He went to Oreol and helped in the great matters then going on in the religious world; he signed an edict there, and I have seen a print of his signature; it struck me, so I copied it. When the general asked me, in his study, to write something for him, to show my handwriting, I wrote 'The Abbot Pafnute signed this,' in the exact handwriting of the abbot. The general liked it very much, and that's why he recalled it just now. "
"Aglaya, make a note of 'Pafnute,' or we shall forget him. H'm! and where is this signature?"
"I think it was left on the general's table."
"Let it be sent for at once!"
"Oh, I'll write you a new one in half a minute," said the prince, "if you like!"
"Of course, mamma!" said Alexandra. "But let's have lunch now, we are all hungry!"
"Yes; come along, prince," said the mother, "are you very hungry?"
"Yes; I must say that I am pretty hungry, thanks very much."
"H'm! I like to see that you know your manners; and you are by no means such a person as the general thought fit to describe you. Come along; you sit here, opposite to me," she continued, "I wish to be able to see your face. Alexandra, Adelaida, look after the prince! He doesn't seem so very ill, does he? I don't think he requires a napkin under his chin, after all; are you accustomed to having one on, prince?"
"Formerly15, when I was seven years old or so. I believe I wore one; but now I usually hold my napkin on my knee when I eat."
"Of course, of course! And about your fits?"
"Fits?" asked the prince, slightly surprised. "I very seldom have fits nowadays. I don't know how it may be here, though; they say the climate may be bad for me. "
"He talks very well, you know!" said Mrs. Epanchin, who still continued to nod at each word the prince spoke16. "I really did not expect it at all; in fact, I suppose it was all stuff and nonsense on the general's part, as usual. Eat away, prince, and tell me where you were born, and where you were brought up. I wish to know all about you, you interest me very much!"
The prince expressed his thanks once more, and eating heartily17 the while, recommenced the narrative18 of his life in Switzerland, all of which we have heard before. Mrs. Epanchin became more and more pleased with her guest; the girls, too, listened with considerable attention. In talking over the question of relationship it turned out that the prince was very well up in the matter and knew his pedigree off by heart. It was found that scarcely any connection existed between himself and Mrs. Epanchin, but the talk, and the opportunity of conversing19 about her family tree, gratified the latter exceedingly, and she rose from the table in great good humour.
"Let's all go to my boudoir," she said, "and they shall bring some coffee in there. That's the room where we all assemble and busy ourselves as we like best," she explained. "Alexandra, my eldest, here, plays the piano, or reads or sews; Adelaida paints landscapes and portraits (but never finishes any); and Aglaya sits and does nothing. I don't work too much, either. Here we are, now; sit down, prince, near the fire and talk to us. I want to hear you relate something. I wish to make sure of you first and then tell my old friend, Princess Bielokonski, about you. I wish you to know all the good people and to interest them. Now then, begin!"
"Mamma, it's rather a strange order, that!" said Adelaida, who was fussing among her paints and paint-brushes at the easel. Aglaya and Alexandra had settled themselves with folded hands on a sofa, evidently meaning to be listeners. The prince felt that the general attention was concentrated upon himself.
"I should refuse to say a word if I were ordered to tell a story like that!" observed Aglaya.
"Why? what's there strange about it? He has a tongue. Why shouldn't he tell us something? I want to judge whether he is a good story-teller; anything you like, prince-how you liked Switzerland, what was your first impression, anything. You'll see, he'll begin directly and tell us all about it beautifully."
"The impression was forcible--" the prince began.
"There, you see, girls," said the impatient lady, "he has begun, you see."
"Well, then, LET him talk, mamma," said Alexandra. "This prince is a great humbug20 and by no means an idiot," she whispered to Aglaya.
"Oh, I saw that at once," replied the latter. "I don't think it at all nice of him to play a part. What does he wish to gain by it, I wonder?"
"My first impression was a very strong one," repeated the prince. "When they took me away from Russia, I remember I passed through many German towns and looked out of the windows, but did not trouble so much as to ask questions about them. This was after a long series of fits. I always used to fall into a sort of torpid21 condition after such a series, and lost my memory almost entirely22; and though I was not altogether without reason at such times, yet I had no logical power of thought. This would continue for three or four days, and then I would recover myself again. I remember my melancholy23 was intolerable; I felt inclined to cry; I sat and wondered and wondered uncomfortably; the consciousness that everything was strange weighed terribly upon me; I could understand that it was all foreign and strange. I recollect24 I awoke from this state for the first time at Basle, one evening; the bray25 of a donkey aroused me, a donkey in the town market. I saw the donkey and was extremely pleased with it, and from that moment my head seemed to clear."
"A donkey? How strange! Yet it is not strange. Anyone of us might fall in love with a donkey! It happened in mythological26 times," said Madame Epanchin, looking wrathfully at her daughters, who had begun to laugh. "Go on, prince."
"Since that evening I have been specially8 fond of donkeys. I began to ask questions about them, for I had never seen one before; and I at once came to the conclusion that this must be one of the most useful of animals--strong, willing, patient, cheap; and, thanks to this donkey, I began to like the whole country I was travelling through; and my melancholy passed away."
"All this is very strange and interesting," said Mrs. Epanchin. "Now let's leave the donkey and go on to other matters. What are you laughing at, Aglaya? and you too, Adelaida? The prince told us his experiences very cleverly; he saw the donkey himself, and what have you ever seen? YOU have never been abroad."
"I have seen a donkey though, mamma!" said Aglaya.
"And I've heard one!" said Adelaida. All three of the girls laughed out loud, and the prince laughed with them.
"Well, it's too bad of you," said mamma. "You must forgive them, prince; they are good girls. I am very fond of them, though I often have to be scolding them; they are all as silly and mad as march hares."
"Oh, why shouldn't they laugh?" said the prince. " I shouldn't have let the chance go by in their place, I know. But I stick up for the donkey, all the same; he's a patient, good-natured fellow."
"Are you a patient man, prince? I ask out of curiosity," said Mrs. Epanchin.
All laughed again.
"Oh, that wretched donkey again, I see!" cried the lady. "I assure you, prince, I was not guilty of the least--"
"Insinuation? Oh! I assure you, I take your word for it." And the prince continued laughing merrily.
"I must say it's very nice of you to laugh. I see you really are a kind-hearted fellow," said Mrs. Epanchin.
"I'm not always kind, though."
"I am kind myself, and ALWAYS kind too, if you please!" she retorted, unexpectedly; "and that is my chief fault, for one ought not to be always kind. I am often angry with these girls and their father; but the worst of it is, I am always kindest when I am cross. I was very angry just before you came, and Aglaya there read me a lesson--thanks, Aglaya, dear--come and kiss me--there--that's enough" she added, as Aglaya came forward and kissed her lips and then her hand. "Now then, go on, prince. Perhaps you can think of something more exciting than about the donkey, eh?"
"I must say, again, I can't understand how you can expect anyone to tell you stories straight away, so," said Adelaida. "I know I never could!"
"Yes, but the prince can, because he is clever--cleverer than you are by ten or twenty times, if you like. There, that's so, prince; and seriously, let's drop the donkey now--what else did you see abroad, besides the donkey?"
"Yes, but the prince told us about the donkey very cleverly, all the same," said Alexandra. "I have always been most interested to hear how people go mad and get well again, and that sort of thing. Especially when it happens suddenly."
"Quite so, quite so!" cried Mrs. Epanchin, delighted. "I see you CAN be sensible now and then, Alexandra. You were speaking of Switzerland, prince?"
"Yes. We came to Lucerne, and I was taken out in a boat. I felt how lovely it was, but the loveliness weighed upon me somehow or other, and made me feel melancholy."
"Why?" asked Alexandra.
"I don't know; I always feel like that when I look at the beauties of nature for the first time; but then, I was ill at that time, of course!"
"Oh, but I should like to see it!" said Adelaida; "and I don't know WHEN we shall ever go abroad. I've been two years looking out for a good subject for a picture. I've done all I know. 'The North and South I know by heart,' as our poet observes. Do help me to a subject, prince."
"Oh, but I know nothing about painting. It seems to me one only has to look, and paint what one sees."
"But I don't know HOW to see!"
"Nonsense, what rubbish you talk!" the mother struck in. "Not know how to see! Open your eyes and look! If you can't see here, you won't see abroad either. Tell us what you saw yourself, prince!"
"Yes, that's better," said Adelaida; "the prince learned to see abroad."
"Oh, I hardly know! You see, I only went to restore my health. I don't know whether I learned to see, exactly. I was very happy, however, nearly all the time."
"Happy! you can be happy?" cried Aglaya. "Then how can you say you did not learn to see? I should think you could teach us to see!"
"Oh! DO teach us," laughed Adelaida.
"Oh! I can't do that," said the prince, laughing too. "I lived almost all the while in one little Swiss village; what can I teach you? At first I was only just not absolutely dull; then my health began to improve--then every day became dearer and more precious to me, and the longer I stayed, the dearer became the time to me; so much so that I could not help observing it; but why this was so, it would be difficult to say."
"So that you didn't care to go away anywhere else?"
"Well, at first I did; I was restless; I didn't know however I should manage to support life--you know there are such moments, especially in solitude27. There was a waterfall near us, such a lovely thin streak28 of water, like a thread but white and moving. It fell from a great height, but it looked quite low, and it was half a mile away, though it did not seem fifty paces. I loved to listen to it at night, but it was then that I became so restless. Sometimes I went and climbed the mountain and stood there in the midst of the tall pines, all alone in the terrible silence, with our little village in the distance, and the sky so blue, and the sun so bright, and an old ruined castle on the mountain-side, far away. I used to watch the line where earth and sky met, and longed to go and seek there the key of all mysteries, thinking that I might find there a new life, perhaps some great city where life should be grander and richer--and then it struck me that life may be grand enough even in a prison."
"I read that last most praiseworthy thought in my manual, when I was twelve years old," said Aglaya.
"All this is pure philosophy," said Adelaida. "You are a philosopher, prince, and have come here to instruct us in your views."
"Perhaps you are right," said the prince, smiling. "I think I am a philosopher, perhaps, and who knows, perhaps I do wish to teach my views of things to those I meet with?"
"Your philosophy is rather like that of an old woman we know, who is rich and yet does nothing but try how little she can spend. She talks of nothing but money all day. Your great philosophical29 idea of a grand life in a prison and your four happy years in that Swiss village are like this, rather," said Aglaya.
"As to life in a prison, of course there may be two opinions," said the prince. "I once heard the story of a man who lived twelve years in a prison--I heard it from the man himself. He was one of the persons under treatment with my professor; he had fits, and attacks of melancholy, then he would weep, and once he tried to commit suicide. HIS life in prison was sad enough; his only acquaintances were spiders and a tree that grew outside his grating-but I think I had better tell you of another man I met last year. There was a very strange feature in this case, strange because of its extremely rare occurrence. This man had once been brought to the scaffold in company with several others, and had had the sentence of death by shooting passed upon him for some political crime. Twenty minutes later he had been reprieved30 and some other punishment substituted; but the interval31 between the two sentences, twenty minutes, or at least a quarter of an hour, had been passed in the certainty that within a few minutes he must die. I was very anxious to hear him speak of his impressions during that dreadful time, and I several times inquired of him as to what he thought and felt. He remembered everything with the most accurate and extraordinary distinctness, and declared that he would never forget a single iota32 of the experience.
"About twenty paces from the scaffold, where he had stood to hear the sentence, were three posts, fixed33 in the ground, to which to fasten the criminals (of whom there were several). The first three criminals were taken to the posts, dressed in long white tunics34, with white caps drawn35 over their faces, so that they could not see the rifles pointed36 at them. Then a group of soldiers took their stand opposite to each post. My friend was the eighth on the list, and therefore he would have been among the third lot to go up. A priest went about among them with a cross: and there was about five minutes of time left for him to live.
"He said that those five minutes seemed to him to be a most interminable period, an enormous wealth of time; he seemed to be living, in these minutes, so many lives that there was no need as yet to think of that last moment, so that he made several arrangements, dividing up the time into portions--one for saying farewell to his companions, two minutes for that; then a couple more for thinking over his own life and career and all about himself; and another minute for a last look around. He remembered having divided his time like this quite well. While saying good- bye to his friends he recollected37 asking one of them some very usual everyday question, and being much interested in the answer. Then having bade farewell, he embarked38 upon those two minutes which he had allotted39 to looking into himself; he knew beforehand what he was going to think about. He wished to put it to himself as quickly and clearly as possible, that here was he, a living, thinking man, and that in three minutes he would be nobody; or if somebody or something, then what and where? He thought he would decide this question once for all in these last three minutes. A little way off there stood a church, and its gilded40 spire41 glittered in the sun. He remembered staring stubbornly at this spire, and at the rays of light sparkling from it. He could not tear his eyes from these rays of light; he got the idea that these rays were his new nature, and that in three minutes he would become one of them, amalgamated42 somehow with them.
"The repugnance43 to what must ensue almost immediately, and the uncertainty44, were dreadful, he said; but worst of all was the idea, 'What should I do if I were not to die now? What if I were to return to life again? What an eternity45 of days, and all mine! How I should grudge46 and count up every minute of it, so as to waste not a single instant!' He said that this thought weighed so upon him and became such a terrible burden upon his brain that he could not bear it, and wished they would shoot him quickly and have done with it."
The prince paused and all waited, expecting him to go on again and finish the story.
"Is that all?" asked Aglaya.
"All? Yes," said the prince, emerging from a momentary47 reverie.
"And why did you tell us this?"
"Oh, I happened to recall it, that's all! It fitted into the conversation--"
"You probably wish to deduce, prince," said Alexandra, "that moments of time cannot be reckoned by money value, and that sometimes five minutes are worth priceless treasures. All this is very praiseworthy; but may I ask about this friend of yours, who told you the terrible experience of his life? He was reprieved, you say; in other words, they did restore to him that 'eternity of days.' What did he do with these riches of time? Did he keep careful account of his minutes?"
"Oh no, he didn't! I asked him myself. He said that he had not lived a bit as he had intended, and had wasted many, and many a minute."
"Very well, then there's an experiment, and the thing is proved; one cannot live and count each moment; say what you like, but one CANNOT."
"That is true," said the prince, "I have thought so myself. And yet, why shouldn't one do it?"
"You think, then, that you could live more wisely than other people?" said Aglaya.
"I have had that idea."
"And you have it still?"
"Yes--I have it still," the prince replied.
He had contemplated48 Aglaya until now, with a pleasant though rather timid smile, but as the last words fell from his lips he began to laugh, and looked at her merrily.
"You are not very modest!" said she.
"But how brave you are!" said he. "You are laughing, and I-- that man's tale impressed me so much, that I dreamt of it afterwards; yes, I dreamt of those five minutes . . ."
He looked at his listeners again with that same serious, searching expression.
"You are not angry with me?" he asked suddenly, and with a kind of nervous hurry, although he looked them straight in the face.
"Why should we be angry?" they cried.
"Only because I seem to be giving you a lecture, all the time!"
At this they laughed heartily.
"Please don't be angry with me," continued the prince. "I know very well that I have seen less of life than other people, and have less knowledge of it. I must appear to speak strangely sometimes . . ."
He said the last words nervously49.
"You say you have been happy, and that proves you have lived, not less, but more than other people. Why make all these excuses?" interrupted Aglaya in a mocking tone of voice. "Besides, you need not mind about lecturing us; you have nothing to boast of. With your quietism, one could live happily for a hundred years at least. One might show you the execution of a felon50, or show you one's little finger. You could draw a moral from either, and be quite satisfied. That sort of existence is easy enough."
"I can't understand why you always fly into a temper," said Mrs. Epanchin, who had been listening to the conversation and examining the faces of the speakers in turn. "I do not understand what you mean. What has your little finger to do with it? The prince talks well, though he is not amusing. He began all right, but now he seems sad."
"Never mind, mamma! Prince, I wish you had seen an execution," said Aglaya. "I should like to ask you a question about that, if you had."
"I have seen an execution," said the prince.
"You have!" cried Aglaya. "I might have guessed it. That's a fitting crown to the rest of the story. If you have seen an execution, how can you say you lived happily all the while?"
"But is there capital punishment where you were?" asked Adelaida.
"I saw it at Lyons. Schneider took us there, and as soon as we arrived we came in for that."
"Well, and did you like it very much? Was it very edifying51 and instructive?" asked Aglaya.
"No, I didn't like it at all, and was ill after seeing it; but I confess I stared as though my eyes were fixed to the sight. I could not tear them away."
"I, too, should have been unable to tear my eyes away," said Aglaya.
"They do not at all approve of women going to see an execution there. The women who do go are condemned52 for it afterwards in the newspapers."
"That is, by contending that it is not a sight for women they admit that it is a sight for men. I congratulate them on the deduction53. I suppose you quite agree with them, prince?"
"Tell us about the execution," put in Adelaida.
"I would much rather not, just now," said the prince, a little disturbed and frowning slightly;
" You don't seem to want to tell us," said Aglaya, with a mocking air.
" No,--the thing is, I was telling all about the execution a little while ago, and--"
"Whom did you tell about it?"
"The man-servant, while I was waiting to see the general."
"Our man-servant?" exclaimed several voices at once.
"Yes, the one who waits in the entrance hall, a greyish, red- faced man--"
"The prince is clearly a democrat," remarked Aglaya.
"Well, if you could tell Aleksey about it, surely you can tell us too."
"I do so want to hear about it," repeated Adelaida.
"Just now, I confess," began the prince, with more animation54, "when you asked me for a subject for a picture, I confess I had serious thoughts of giving you one. I thought of asking you to draw the face of a criminal, one minute before the fall of the guillotine, while the wretched man is still standing55 on the scaffold, preparatory to placing his neck on the block."
"What, his face? only his face?" asked Adelaida. "That would be a strange subject indeed. And what sort of a picture would that make?"
"Oh, why not?" the prince insisted, with some warmth. "When I was in Basle I saw a picture very much in that style--I should like to tell you about it; I will some time or other; it struck me very forcibly."
"Oh, you shall tell us about the Basle picture another time; now we must have all about the execution," said Adelaida. "Tell us about that face as; it appeared to your imagination-how should it be drawn?--just the face alone, do you mean?"
"It was just a minute before the execution," began the prince, readily, carried away by the recollection and evidently forgetting everything else in a moment; "just at the instant when he stepped off the ladder on to the scaffold. He happened to look in my direction: I saw his eyes and understood all, at once--but how am I to describe it? I do so wish you or somebody else could draw it, you, if possible. I thought at the time what a picture it would make. You must imagine all that went before, of course, all--all. He had lived in the prison for some time and had not expected that the execution would take place for at least a week yet--he had counted on all the formalities and so on taking time; but it so happened that his papers had been got ready quickly. At five o'clock in the morning he was asleep--it was October, and at five in the morning it was cold and dark. The governor of the prison comes in on tip-toe and touches the sleeping man's shoulder gently. He starts up. 'What is it?' he says. 'The execution is fixed for ten o'clock.' He was only just awake, and would not believe at first, but began to argue that his papers would not be out for a week, and so on. When he was wide awake and realized the truth, he became very silent and argued no more--so they say; but after a bit he said: 'It comes very hard on one so suddenly' and then he was silent again and said nothing.
"The three or four hours went by, of course, in necessary preparations--the priest, breakfast, (coffee, meat, and some wine they gave him; doesn't it seem ridiculous?) And yet I believe these people give them a good breakfast out of pure kindness of heart, and believe that they are doing a good action. Then he is dressed, and then begins the procession through the town to the scaffold. I think he, too, must feel that he has an age to live still while they cart him along. Probably he thought, on the way, 'Oh, I have a long, long time yet. Three streets of life yet! When we've passed this street there'll be that other one; and then that one where the baker's shop is on the right; and when shall we get there? It's ages, ages!' Around him are crowds shouting, yelling--ten thousand faces, twenty thousand eyes. All this has to be endured, and especially the thought: 'Here are ten thousand men, and not one of them is going to be executed, and yet I am to die.' Well, all that is preparatory.
"At the scaffold there is a ladder, and just there he burst into tears--and this was a strong man, and a terribly wicked one, they say! There was a priest with him the whole time, talking; even in the cart as they drove along, he talked and talked. Probably the other heard nothing; he would begin to listen now and then, and at the third word or so he had forgotten all about it.
"At last he began to mount the steps; his legs were tied, so that he had to take very small steps. The priest, who seemed to be a wise man, had stopped talking now, and only held the cross for the wretched fellow to kiss. At the foot of the ladder he had been pale enough; but when he set foot on the scaffold at the top, his face suddenly became the colour of paper, positively56 like white notepaper. His legs must have become suddenly feeble and helpless, and he felt a choking in his throat--you know the sudden feeling one has in moments of terrible fear, when one does not lose one's wits, but is absolutely powerless to move? If some dreadful thing were suddenly to happen; if a house were just about to fall on one;--don't you know how one would long to sit down and shut one's eyes and wait, and wait? Well, when this terrible feeling came over him, the priest quickly pressed the cross to his lips, without a word--a little silver cross it was- and he kept on pressing it to the man's lips every second. And whenever the cross touched his lips, the eyes would open for a moment, and the legs moved once, and he kissed the cross greedily, hurriedly--just as though he were anxious to catch hold of something in case of its being useful to him afterwards, though he could hardly have had any connected religious thoughts at the time. And so up to the very block.
"How strange that criminals seldom swoon at such a moment! On the contrary, the brain is especially active, and works incessantly-- probably hard, hard, hard--like an engine at full pressure. I imagine that various thoughts must beat loud and fast through his head--all unfinished ones, and strange, funny thoughts, very likely!--like this, for instance: 'That man is looking at me, and he has a wart57 on his forehead! and the executioner has burst one of his buttons, and the lowest one is all rusty58!' And meanwhile he notices and remembers everything. There is one point that cannot be forgotten, round which everything else dances and turns about; and because of this point he cannot faint, and this lasts until the very final quarter of a second, when the wretched neck is on the block and the victim listens and waits and KNOWS-- that's the point, he KNOWS that he is just NOW about to die, and listens for the rasp of the iron over his head. If I lay there, I should certainly listen for that grating sound, and hear it, too! There would probably be but the tenth part of an instant left to hear it in, but one would certainly hear it. And imagine, some people declare that when the head flies off it is CONSCIOUS of having flown off! Just imagine what a thing to realize! Fancy if consciousness were to last for even five seconds!
"Draw the scaffold so that only the top step of the ladder comes in clearly. The criminal must be just stepping on to it, his face as white as note-paper. The priest is holding the cross to his blue lips, and the criminal kisses it, and knows and sees and understands everything. The cross and the head--there's your picture; the priest and the executioner, with his two assistants, and a few heads and eyes below. Those might come in as subordinate accessories--a sort of mist. There's a picture for you." The prince paused, and looked around.
"Certainly that isn't much like quietism," murmured Alexandra, half to herself.
"Now tell us about your love affairs," said Adelaida, after a moment's pause.
The prince gazed at her in amazement59.
"You know," Adelaida continued, "you owe us a description of the Basle picture; but first I wish to hear how you fell in love. Don't deny the fact, for you did, of course. Besides, you stop philosophizing when you are telling about anything."
"Why are you ashamed of your stories the moment after you have told them?" asked Aglaya, suddenly.
"How silly you are!" said Mrs. Epanchin, looking indignantly towards the last speaker.
"Yes, that wasn't a clever remark," said Alexandra.
"Don't listen to her, prince," said Mrs. Epanchin; "she says that sort of thing out of mischief60. Don't think anything of their nonsense, it means nothing. They love to chaff61, but they like you. I can see it in their faces--I know their faces."
"I know their faces, too," said the prince, with a peculiar62 stress on the words.
"How so?" asked Adelaida, with curiosity.
"What do YOU know about our faces?" exclaimed the other two, in chorus.
But the prince was silent and serious. All awaited his reply.
"I'll tell you afterwards," he said quietly.
"Ah, you want to arouse our curiosity!" said Aglaya. "And how terribly solemn you are about it!"
"Very well," interrupted Adelaida, "then if you can read faces so well, you must have been in love. Come now; I've guessed--let's have the secret!"
"I have not been in love," said the prince, as quietly and seriously as before. "I have been happy in another way."
"How, how?"
"Well, I'll tell you," said the prince, apparently63 in a deep reverie.
将军夫人对自己的出身颇为自傲。过去她已经听说过有关族中最后一位梅什金公爵的事，而此刻在毫无思想准备的情况下直接听说了这位公爵只不过是个可怜的白痴并且几乎是个乞丐，穷得接受施舍，她的心情怎么样，也不难想象了。将军恰恰是想造成这样一种效果，可以使夫人一下子产生兴趣，神不知鬼不觉地把她的全部注意力转移到另一个方向去。
在极端情况下将军夫人身体稍稍往后仰，往往把眼睛瞪得非常之大，毫无表情地望着面前的人，一句话也不说。这是个身材高大的女人，与自己丈夫一般年岁，有一头夹着缕缕银丝但还浓密的深色头发，她的鼻子有点呈鹰钩状，人很消瘦，凹陷的发黄的脸颊，薄薄瘪瘪的双唇。她的额头很高，但很窄；一双相当大的灰眼睛有时会流露出最意料不到的表情。当年她曾好相信自己的目光具有非凡的滋力；这种信念不可磨灭地留在她的身上。
“接待，您说接待他，就现在，此刻？”将军夫人朝在她面前显得忙乱的伊万·费奥多罗维奇竭力瞪大眼睛说。
“哦，对这一点可以无须任何礼节，只要你，我的朋友，愿意见他，”将军急忙解释说，“他完全是个孩子，甚至很让人爱怜；他有一种什么毛病会发作；现在从瑞士来，刚下火车，穿得很怪，似乎像德国人的装束，此外身无分文，确是这样；差点就要哭出来了，我送给他２５个卢布，还想替他在我们机关里谋个文书的职位，而你们，ｍｃｒｓｄａｍｅｓ，＊请招待他吃一顿，因为他好像饿着肚子……”
“您真让我吃惊，”将军夫人仍用原先的口气说，“饿着肚子和有病会发作！发什么病？”
“哦，毛病不常发作，再说他几乎就像个孩子，不过，他是受过教育的。ｍｅｓｄａｍｓ；＊他又对女儿们说，“我倒请你们考考他，总得好好了解一下，他能做些什么。”
“考－考－他？”将军夫人拖长了声调说着，以深为惊诧的神情又瞪起了眼睛，目光从女儿身上移到丈夫身上，又回过去。
“啊，我的朋友，别想到那层意思上去……其实，随你便；我的意思只是亲切地对待他，让他到我们这儿来，因为这差不多是做件好事。”
“让他到我们这儿来？从瑞士搬来？！”
“瑞士是没有什么干系的，其实，我再说一遍，随你，我不过是因为，第一，他与你是同姓，也许，还是亲戚，第二，他不知道何处安身。我甚至还以为，你多少会有兴趣的，因为毕竟出自同姓嘛。”
“妈妈，既然对他可以不必拘礼，就不用说了；何况他从旅途上来，想要吃东西了，既然他不知道去哪儿落脚，为什么不让他好好吃一顿呢？”大女儿亚历山德拉说。
“再说他还完全是个孩子，还可以跟他玩捉迷藏。”
“玩捉迷藏？”
“哎哟，妈妈，请别装糊涂了，”阿格拉娅气恼地打断说。
中间的女儿阿杰莱达是个爱笑的姑娘，这时忍不住哈哈大笑起来。
“爸爸，叫他进来吧，妈妈同意了，”阿格拉娅做了决定说。将军摇了摇铃，吩咐叫公爵来。
“但是得注意，等他坐到桌边时，一定要给他脖子上系上餐巾，”将军夫
＊此为法语，意为小姐们。
人决定说，“叫费奥多尔，或者就让玛夫拉……在他用餐的时候站在他后面，照看着他。至少在发病的时候他还安分吧？不会手舞足蹈吧？”
“相反，甚至有着非常好的教养和优雅的风度。有时有点太单纯……瞧，这就是他本人！好吧，我来介绍，这是族中最后一位梅什金公爵，同姓，也许，甚至是亲戚，好好接待他，款待他吧。公爵，她们马上要去用早餐，就请赏光吧……而我，对不起，已经迟到了，要赶紧去……”
“大家都知道，您急着要去哪里。”将军夫人傲慢地说。
“我要赶紧，要赶紧，我的朋友，我迟到了！ ｍｅｓｄａｍｅｓ，把你们的纪念册给他，让他在上面给你们写点什么，他是个多么出色的书法家呀，真是难得的！是天才；在我书房里他用古体签了：‘修道院院长帕夫努季敬呈’，……好，再见。”
“帕夫努季？修道院院长？等一下，等一下，您去哪里，帕夫努季又是什么人？”将军夫人带着烦恼以及几乎是惶恐的心理执拗地向正欲逃走的丈夫喊叫着。
“是的，是的，我的朋友，古时候有过这么一个修道院院长……而我是去伯爵那里，他早就在等了，主要是，他亲自约定的……公爵，再见！”
将军快步离去。
“我知道，他到哪个伯爵那儿去！”叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜尖刻地说，并气恼地把目光移到公爵身上。“刚才说什么了！”她一边不屑和懊丧地回忆着，一边开始说，“嗯，说什么来着！啊，对了，略，是个什么修道院院长？”
“妈妈，”亚历山德拉刚开始说，阿格拉娅甚至跺了一下脚。
“亚历山德拉·伊万诺夫娜，别打岔，”将军夫人一字一句地对她说，“我也想知道。公爵，请您就坐这儿，就这把扶手椅，对面，不，到这里来，朝太阳，朝亮处移近点，让我能看见您。好，说吧，那是个什么修道院院长。”
“帕夫努季修道院院长，”公爵专心认真地回答。
“帕夫努季？这很有意思；那么，他是个什么人呢。”
将军夫人性急地，说得又快又尖地问着一个个问题，目不转睛地盯着对方，当公爵回答时，她则随着他的每一句话点一下头。
“帕夫努季修道院长是十四世纪的人，”公爵开始说，“他主持着伏尔加河畔的一座修道院，就在今天我们的科斯特罗马省内，他以圣德般的修行而著称、曾去过金帐汗国，帮助处理过当时的一些事务，在一件公文上签过字，我看见过有这一签字的照片。我很喜欢他的字体，便临摹起来。刚才将军想看我字写得怎么样，以便为我找个差使，我就用各种不同的字体写了几个句子，顺便就用帕夫努季修道院长本人的字体写了‘帕夫努季修道院长敬呈’。将军很喜欢，于是现在又提起了这件事。”
“阿格拉娅”，”将军夫人说，“记住：帕夫努季，或者最好还是写下来，不然我总忘掉。不过，我想，还有更有趣的。那么这签名在什么地方？”
“好像留在将军书房里，在桌上。”
“马上叫人去取来。”
“最好还是给您再写一次吧，如果您愿意的话。”
“当然喏，妈妈，”亚历山德拉说，“可现在最好是用早餐，我们想吃了。”
“倒也是的，”将军夫人决定说，“走吧，公爵，您很想吃点东西了吧？”
“是的，现在很想吃，十分感激您。”
“您彬彬有礼，这很好，我还发觉，您根本不是所谓……人家介绍的那种怪人，走吧，请就坐在这里，在我对面，”当他们走进餐室后，她张罗着让公爵坐下，“我想看着您。亚历山德拉、阿杰莱达，你们来招待公爵。他根本不是什么病人，对不对？也许，也不必用餐巾……公爵，过去用餐时要给您系餐巾吗？”
“过去，也就是７岁的时候，好像是系过的，现在吃饭时一般是在自己膝上放一条餐巾。”
“应该这样。那么发病呢？”
“发病？”公爵有些惊奇，“现在我很少发病，不过，我不知道，据说，这里的气候对我会有害。”
“他说得真好，”将军夫人向女儿们说，一边继续随公爵的每一句话而频频点头，“我甚至没有料到。看来，全是无稽之谈，跟平常人一样。公爵，吃吧，再讲讲，您在哪里出生的，在哪里受教育的？我全都想知道，您使我异常感兴趣。”
公爵表示了感谢，一边胃口很好地吃着，一边重又复述了这个早晨他已不止一次讲过的一切。将军夫人越来越感到满意：姑娘们也相当用心地听着。他们算起族亲来。原来，公爵对自己的家谱知道得很清楚；但不论怎么讲，在他和将军夫人之间几乎没有任何亲族关系。在爷爷奶奶辈可能还算得上是远亲。这个没有结果的话题却使将军夫人特别高兴，因为尽管她很想讲讲自己的家谱，却始终没有机会，因此，她从餐桌旁站起身时，精神很是振奋。
“我们大家到聚会室去，”她说，“叫他们把咖啡也端到那里去，我们有这么一个公用的房间，”她一边给公爵引路，一边对他说，“不客气他说，是我的小客厅，当只有我们在家的时候，我们便聚在这里，各做各的事：亚历山德拉，就是这一个，是我的大女儿，弹钢琴，或看书，或缝衣；阿杰莱达画风景和肖像画（可没有一张是画完的），而阿格拉娅则干坐着什么也不做。我也是做起事来不顺手，一事无成。好了，我们到了；请往这儿坐，公爵，靠近壁炉些，再讲些什么。我很想知道，您叙述某件事情表达得怎么样。我想使自己完全确认了，以后见到别洛孔斯卡娅公爵夫人的时候，那是个老太太，我要把有关您的一切全都告诉她。我想让您使她们大家也产生兴趣。好，说吧。”
“妈妈，这样子讲可是太怪诞不经了，”阿杰莱达指出，她那时已调整好画架，拿起画笔、调色板，着手临摹早已开始画的一张版画上的风景。亚历山德拉和阿格拉娅一起坐在一张小沙发上，双手交叉在胸前，准备好听聊天。公爵发现，大家都对他集中了特别的注意力。
“如果吩咐我要这样讲，我就会什么也讲不出来。”阿格拉娅说。
“为什么？这又有什么好怪的？为什么他会讲不出来？有舌头的嘛，我想知道他讲话的本领。好吧，随便讲点什么。可以讲讲，您怎么个喜欢瑞士，对它的最初印象）你们瞧吧，他马上就将开始讲，而且会很精彩地开始的。”
“印象是很强烈的……”公爵刚开始说。
“瞧，瞧，”叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜朝女儿们迫不及待地说，“他已经开始了。”
“妈妈，至少您要让他说话，”亚历山德拉制止了母亲，然后又对阿格拉娅低语说，“说不定，这个公爵是个大骗子，而根本不是白痴。”
“也许是这样，我早就看出这一点了，”阿格拉娅回答说，“他这样演戏是很卑鄙的。他这样做想赢得什么好处不成？”
“最初的印象是很强烈的，”公爵重又说了一遍，“当初带我离开俄罗斯，经过各个德国城市，我只是默默地看着，我现在还记得，当时甚至什么也没有问，这是在连续发了好多次毛病以后，发作得很厉害，很痛苦，而要是病发得厉害并连续几次不断反复发作，那么我总是陷于完全愚钝的状态，全然失去了记忆，尽管头脑还在工作，但是思维的逻辑流程仿佛中断了。我不能把两三个以上的思想串联起来，我觉得是这样的。等毛病缓解平息，我又变得健康强壮，就像现在这样。我记得，当时我的忧郁是难以忍受的；我甚至想哭。我老是感到惊愕和惶恐不安；所有这一切都是陌生的，这使我感到非常痛苦，这一点我是明白的。什么都生疏深深地折磨着我。我从这种愚昧昏蒙的状态中完全清醒过来，我记得，是在傍晚，在巴塞尔；进入瑞士的时候，城里集市上的一头驴的叫声惊醒了我。驴子使我大大吃了一惊，而且不知怎么的我异常喜欢它，与此同时我的头脑仿佛一下子豁然省悟了。”
“驴子？这可真怪，”将军夫人指出，“不过，也丝毫没有什么奇怪的；我们中有人还会爱上驴子呢，”她忿忿地看了一眼正笑着的姑娘们，说，“还是在神话里就有这种事。公爵，请继续讲吧。”
“从那时起我爱驴子爱得不得了。这甚至成为我的宠物。我开始打听关于驴子的事，因为过去没有见过这种动物，很快我自己就确信了，这是非常有用的牲畜，会干活，力气大，能忍受，价格低，有耐力；就通过这头驴子我突然喜欢上了整个瑞士，因为过去的忧郁完全消失了。”
“这一切非常奇怪，但是关于驴子的事可以放过去；现在换一个别的话题吧。阿格拉娅，你于吗老是在笑？还有你；阿杰莱达？关于驴子的事公爵讲得很精彩。他亲自看见过，而你看见什么了？你没有去过国外？”
“我看见过驴子，妈妈，”阿杰莱达说。
“我还听见过驴子的叫声呢，”阿格拉娅附和说。三个人又都笑了起来，公爵也与她们一起笑了。
“你们这样非常不好，”将军夫人指出，“公爵，请您原谅她们，她们并无恶意。我总跟她们拌嘴，但我是爱她们的。她们轻率、肤浅、疯疯傻傻的。”
“怎么会呢。”公爵笑着说，“我要是处在她们的地位也不会放过机会嘲笑的。但我还是维护驴子：它是善良和有用的人。”
“那您善良吗，公爵？我是出于好奇才问的。”将军夫人问。
大家又笑了起来。
“又缠到这该诅咒的驴子上去了；对它我可想也没想过！”将军夫人喊了起来，“请相信我，公爵，我没有任何……”
“暗示？噢，我相信，毫不怀疑！”
公爵不住地笑着。
“您笑了，这很好。我看得出，您是个善良的年轻人，”将军夫人说。
“有时候并不善良，”公爵回答说。
“而我是善良的，”将军夫人出人意料地插嘴说，“如果您愿听的话，我一向是善良的，这是我唯一的缺点，因为不应该一贯善良。我常常发火，冲着她们，特别是冲着伊万·费奥多罗维奇，但糟糕的是，我发火的时候心却最善。刚才，就在您来之前，我还在大发雷霆并装作什么也不明白和无法明白的样子。我往往会这样，就像个小孩一样。是阿格拉娅教我的；谢谢你，阿格拉娅。不过，这全都是无稽之谈。我看起来像蠢，女儿们也想把我说成那样，可我还没有笨到那个地步。我有性格，而且不太害羞。不过，我说这些并无恶意。到这儿来，阿格拉娅，吻吻我，好了……撤娇够了，”当阿格拉娅深情地吻了她的双唇和手之后，她说，“公爵，请继续讲下去。也许，您能想起什么比驴子更有趣的事来。”
“我又不明白了，怎么可以这样一下子就能讲出来呢，”阿杰莱达又指出，“我可是怎么也找不出话立即来应付的。”
“公爵就能找到，因为公爵聪明过人，至少比你聪明十倍，也许是十二倍。我希望过后你能感觉到这点。公爵，向她们证明这一点吧；请继续讲。驴子确实可以干脆不讲。好吧，除了驴子，在国外您还见到过什么？”
“但是关于驴子的这番话是很有道理的，”亚历山德拉指出，“公爵非常有趣他讲了自己病中遇到的事情以及怎么通过一种外来的动力他喜欢上了一切。我对于人怎么失去理智以及后来又怎么恢复的，始终很感兴趣。特别是，如果这一切是突然发生的，就更有兴趣。”
“不正是这样吗？不正是这样吗？”将军夫人气琳琳地责问着，“我看得出，你有时也挺聪明；好了，笑够了！您，公爵，好像停在讲瑞士风景的地方，讲吧！”
“我们来到了卢塞恩，带我去游湖。我觉得湖的景色很美，但与此同时心情却沉重得不得了，”公爵说。
“为什么？”亚历山德拉问。
“我不明白。第一次望着这样的自然风光，我总是心里很沉重、很不安；又觉得很好，又觉得惶惑；其实，这一切还是病的缘故。”
“可是，我们很想看看，”阿杰莱达说，“我不明白，我们打算什么时候到国外去。我两年都无法找到画画的素材了：东方和南方早就写遍了……公爵，为我找个画画的素材吧！”
“这方面我是一窍不通。我觉得：看上一眼就可以画画了。”
“我不会看一眼就画。”
“你们在说什么谜语吗？我一点也不明白！”将军夫人打断他们说，“怎么不会看一眼就画？有眼睛就看呗。在这里你不会看，到了国外也学不会。公爵，最好还是讲讲，您自己是怎么看的。”
“这就比较好，”阿杰莱达补充说，“公爵可正是在国外学会看的。”
“我不知道，我在那里只是恢复了健康；我不知道，我是否学会了看东西。不过，我几乎一直很幸福。……”
“幸福！您会成为幸福的人？”阿格拉娅喊了起来，“那您怎么说没有学会看东西？还得教教我们呢。”
“请教会我们吧，”阿杰莱达笑着说。
“我什么都不会教，”公爵也笑着说，“我在国外几乎所有的时间都是在这个瑞士乡村里度过的；难得到不太远的地方去；我能教你们什么呢？开始我只是没有感到寂寞罢了；我很快就康复起来；后来对我来说每天都变得很宝贵，时间越长就越觉得宝贵，于是我便开始注意这一点。我躺下睡觉时心满意足，早晨起床时更觉得幸福。至于这一切是怎么回事，很难讲得清楚。”
“所以您就哪儿也不想去，哪儿也未能吸引您去？”亚历山德拉问。
“起先，一开始，当然是有吸引力的，我也曾陷入非常心神不定的状态。老是想，我将如何生活；我想尝试自己的命运，特别是有时候往往心烦意乱得很。你们知道，是有这种时候的，尤其是单独一人的情况不会这样。我们那里有瀑布，它不大，从山上高高地飞泻而下，像一根细细的线，几乎是垂直的，--白花花的、水声喧嚣、飞沫飘溅；它从高处落下来，可使人觉得相当低，它有半俄里远，可好像离它只有的步。每到夜间我喜欢听它的喧嚣声；也正是这种时刻有时会产生极大的忐忑不安。有时候中午时，你走进山里什么地方，孤身处于群山之中，周围是松脂淋漓的古老巨松；悬崖上是古老的中世纪城堡，断墙残垣；我们的小村庄在下面很远的地方，勉强可见；阳光明嵋，天空碧蓝，寂然无声。就在这种时候，常常有一种东西始终在召唤着我到什么地方去，我总觉得，如果老是笔直走，走很久很久，走到这条线的外面，也就是天地相接的那条线外面，那么在那里就有全部谜底，马上就能看见新的生活，这生活比我们的生活要热烈、喧哗得上千倍；我一直幻想着像那不勒斯这样的大城市，那里有宫殿、喧闹，轰响，生活……是啊，幻想得不少吗！而后来我甚至觉得，在监狱里也可队找到丰富的生活。”
“最后一个值得称赞的思想，在我１２岁的时候，就在我的《文选》课本里读到过，”阿格拉娅说。
“这全都是哲学，”阿杰莱达指出，“您是个哲学家，您是来开导我们的吧。”
“也许，您是对的，”公爵莞尔一笑说，“也许，我真的是个哲学家，谁知道呢、也可能，实际上我是有开导的想法，这是可能的，真的，可能的。”
“而您的哲学跟叶夫兰皮娅·尼古拉耶夫娜的恰恰一个样”，阿格拉娅随着就说起来，“这么一个官太大孀妇，到我家来，就如一个食客，她生活的全部宗旨就是要便宜；只想日子过得便宜些，讲起话来也尽是几个戈比的事，请注意，她可是有钱的，她是个女滑头。所以。您那监狱里的丰富生活，也许，还有您在乡村的四年幸福，也完全是这样，为了这种幸福出卖了您的那不勒斯城，好像还赚了钱，尽管只不过是几个戈比。”
“关于监狱里的生活还可以不表同意,”公爵说，“我听说过一个坐了１２年牢的人的故事；这是我教授的一个病人，后来治愈了。他也曾经常发病，有时也是很不安分，哭哭啼啼的，有一次甚至企图自杀。他在监狱里的生活很抑郁，但是，请你们相信，当然并不是不值一提。他所熟悉的就只是一只蜘蛛和长在窗下的一棵小树……但是，我最好还是对你们讲讲去年我见到的另一个人。这里有一个情况很奇怪，其实，怪就怪在很少会有这样的事。这个人有一次曾跟别人一起被带上断头台，因犯有政治罪，对他宣读了枪决的死刑判决。过了几分钟又宣读了特赦令和制定另一种级别的刑罚；但是，在两次判决之间有２０分钟，或者至少是一刻钟，他是在确信无疑自己过几分钟就将突然死去的状态中度过的。当他有时候回想起当时的感受时，我非常想听他讲，我还好几次向他重新探问详情，他对一切记得异常清楚，并且说，永远也不会忘却这些分钟里的任何事情。离死刑台２０步光景，埋着三根柱子，因为有几个犯人，而在死刑台旁边则站着老百姓和士兵。头三个人被带近柱子，捆绑好，给他们穿上死衣（白色长褂），白帽子拉到他们眼睛上，免得看见枪；然后，几个人组成的一队士兵对着每根柱子站成一列，我的熟人排在第八个，也就是说，他该是第三批走到柱子跟前，神父拿着十字架挨个走到所有人面前。看来，只剩下５分钟可以活了，不会更长了，他说，这５分钟于他是个无穷的期限，巨大的财富；他觉得，这５分钟里他将度过好几生，以至眼前还没什么好去想最后那一瞬间的，因此他还做了各种支配：他估算了与同伴们告别的时间，这要用去两分钟，然后还有两分钟要用来最后一次想想自己，再后面的时间则要最后一次看看周围。他很好地记得，他做的正是这三种支配，也正是这样计算的。他２７岁，身强力壮，却就要死去；在跟同伴们告别时，他记得，还对其中一个提了个很不相干的问题，甚至还对回答非常感兴趣。然后，也就是跟同伴们告别后，则开始了他留出用来思考自己的两分钟；他早就知道，他将想些什么：他一直想尽快和尽可能明晰地想象，怎么会是这样的：他现在还存在，不活着，而过３分钟就已经什么都不是了，是什么人还是什么东西--到底是什么？在什么地方呢？所有这一切他想在这两分钟里得到解决：不远处是座教堂，它那金色的圆顶在明媚的阳光下闪烁着。他记得，他曾非常顽执地看着这金顶和它闪耀出来的光线，他不能摆脱那光线：他觉得，这些光线是他的新生，再过３分钟他将不论以什么方式与它们融为一体……来世未卜和要与这即将降临的新生离开使他感到非常可怕；但是他说，在这段时间里没有什么比一个不断萦绕的念头更使人感到心头沉重了，这个念头便是：‘如果不死就好了！如果还我生命就好了，那将是多么无穷尽呀，！而且所有这一切都将属于我！那时我就会把每分钟都当作整个世纪来用，不失去丝毫时光，每分钟都精打细算，分秒也不白白浪费！’他说，他的这种想法最后竟蜕变成一种怨恨，以至他想宁可快点把他毙了。”
公爵突然静默下来，大家都等着他继续下去和做出结论。
“您结束了吗？”阿格拉娅问。
“什么？我讲完了，”公爵从短暂的沉恩中醒悟过来，说。
“您为什么要讲这个？”
“就这么……突然想起了……我就讲了……”
“您很会卖关子，”亚历山德拉说，“您，公爵，想必要得出这样的结论：无论哪一瞬间都不能用戈比来衡量，有时候５分钟比一座宝藏还更珍贵。这一切是值得称赞的。但是，话说说，对您讲了这样可怕的遭遇的这位朋友怎么啦……不是对他改了刑罚，也就是赐予他‘无穷尽的生命’了吗？那么，后来他怎么处理这笔财富的呢？每分钟都‘精打细算’过的吗？”
“喔，不，我已经问及他这一点，他自己对我说的，根本不是这样过的，浪费了许多许多时间。”
“噢，这么说，给您的是一种经验，也就是说，真正要‘精打细算’，是无法生活的。不知为什么就是无法生活。”
“是啊，不知为什么就是无法生活，”公爵重复着说，“我自己也这样觉得……可终究不知怎么的不太相信……”
“也就是说，您认为，您比大家活得更聪
收听单词发音 |
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guise
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| n.外表，伪装的姿态 | |
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recipient
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| a.接受的,感受性强的 n.接受者,感受者,容器 | |
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swoop
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| n.俯冲，攫取；v.抓取，突然袭击 | |
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complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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ply
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| v.(搬运工等)等候顾客，弯曲 | |
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victuals
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| n.食物；食品 | |
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specially
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| adv.特定地；特殊地；明确地 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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deference
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| n.尊重，顺从；敬意 | |
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sagely
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| adv. 贤能地，贤明地 | |
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monasteries
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| 修道院( monastery的名词复数 ) | |
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formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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conversing
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humbug
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| n.花招，谎话，欺骗 | |
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torpid
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| adj.麻痹的，麻木的，迟钝的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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melancholy
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recollect
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bray
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mythological
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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streak
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| n.条理，斑纹，倾向，少许，痕迹；v.加条纹，变成条纹，奔驰，快速移动 | |
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philosophical
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| adj.哲学家的，哲学上的，达观的 | |
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reprieved
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interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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iota
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| n.些微，一点儿 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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tunics
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| n.（动植物的）膜皮( tunic的名词复数 )；束腰宽松外衣；一套制服的短上衣；（天主教主教等穿的）短祭袍 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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recollected
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| adj.冷静的；镇定的；被回忆起的；沉思默想的v.记起，想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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embarked
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| 乘船( embark的过去式和过去分词 )； 装载； 从事 | |
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allotted
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| 分配，拨给，摊派( allot的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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gilded
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| a.镀金的，富有的 | |
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spire
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| n.(教堂)尖顶，尖塔，高点 | |
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amalgamated
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| v.（使）（金属）汞齐化( amalgamate的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）合并；联合；结合 | |
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repugnance
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| n.嫌恶 | |
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uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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grudge
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| n.不满，怨恨，妒嫉；vt.勉强给，不情愿做 | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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felon
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| n.重罪犯；adj.残忍的 | |
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edifying
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| adj.有教训意味的，教训性的，有益的v.开导，启发( edify的现在分词 ) | |
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52
condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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53
deduction
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| n.减除，扣除，减除额；推论，推理，演绎 | |
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54
animation
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| n.活泼，兴奋，卡通片／动画片的制作 | |
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55
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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56
positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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57
wart
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| n.疣，肉赘；瑕疵 | |
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58
rusty
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| adj.生锈的；锈色的；荒废了的 | |
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59
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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60
mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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61
chaff
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| v.取笑，嘲笑；n.谷壳 | |
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62
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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