The Eighth Tuesday We Talk About Money

I held up the newspaper so that Morrie could see it:

I DON'T WANT MY TOMBSTONE TO READ

I NEVER OWNED A NETWORK."

Morrie laughed, then shook his head. The morning sun was coming through the window behind him, falling on the pink flowers of the hibiscus plant that sat on the sill. The quote was from Ted¹ Turner, the billionaire media mogul, founder² of CNN, who had been lamenting³ his inability to snatch up the CBS network in a corporate⁴ megadeal. I had brought the story to Morrie this morning because I wondered if Turner ever found himself in my old professor's position, his breath disappearing, his body turning to stone, his days being crossed off the calendar one by one-would he really be crying over owning a network?

"It's all part of the same problem, Mitch," Morrie said. "We put our values in the wrong things. And it leads to very disillusioned⁵ lives. I think we should talk about that."

Morrie was focused. There were good days and bad days now. He was having a good day. The night before, he had been entertained by a local a cappella group that had come to the house to perform, and he relayed the story excitedly, as if the Ink Spots themselves had dropped by for a visit. Morrie's love for music was strong even before he got sick, but now it was so intense, it moved him to tears. He would listen to opera sometimes at night, closing his eyes, riding along with the magnificent voices as they dipped and soared.

"You should have heard this group last night, Mitch. Such a sound!"

Morrie had always been taken with simple pleasures, singing, laughing, dancing. Now, more than ever, material things held little or no significance. When people die, you always hear the expression "You can't take it with you." Morrie seemed to know that a long time ago.

"We've got a form of brainwashing going on in our country," Morrie sighed. "Do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat something over and over. And that's what we do in this country. Owning things is good. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is good. More is good. More is good. We repeat it-and have it repeated to us-over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all this, he has no perspective on what's really important anymore.

"Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. `Guess what I got? Guess what I got?'

"You know how I always interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship.

"Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I'm sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you're looking for, no matter how much of them you have."

I glanced around Morrie's study. It was the same today as it had been the first day I arrived. The books held their same places on the shelves. The papers cluttered⁶ the same old desk. The outside rooms had not been improved or upgraded. In fact, Morrie really hadn't bought anything new-except medical equipment-in a long, long time, maybe years. The day he learned that he was terminally ill was the day he lost interest in his purchasing power.

So the TV was the same old model, the car that Charlotte drove was the same old model, the dishes and the silverware and the towels-all the same. And yet the house had changed so drastically. It had filled with love and teaching and communication. It had filled with friendship and family and honesty and tears. It had filled with colleagues and students and meditation⁷ teachers and therapists and nurses and a cappella groups. It had become, in a very real way, a wealthy home, even though Morrie's bank account was rapidly depleting⁸.

"There's a big confusion in this country over what we want versus⁹ what we need," Morrie said. "You need food, you want a chocolate sundae. You have to be honest with yourself. You don't need the latest sports car, you don't need the biggest house.

"The truth is, you don't get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you satisfaction?" What?

"Offering others what you have to give."

You sound like a Boy Scout¹⁰.

"I don't mean money, Mitch. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling. It's not so hard. There's a senior center that opened near here. Dozens of elderly people come there every day. If you're a young man or young woman and you have a skill, you are asked to come and teach it. Say you know computers. You come there and teach them computers. You are very welcome there. And they are very grateful. This is how you start to get respect, by offering something that you have.

"There are plenty of places to do this. You don't need to have a big talent. There are lonely people in hospitals and shelters who only want some companionship. You play cards with a lonely older man and you find new respect for yourself, because you are needed. "Remember what I said about finding a meaningful life? I wrote it down, but now I can recite it: Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

"You notice," he added, grinning, "there's nothing in there about a salary."

I jotted¹¹ some of the things Morrie was saying on a yellow pad. I did this mostly because I didn't want him to see my eyes, to know what I was thinking, that I had been, for much of my life since graduation, pursuing these very things he had been railing against-bigger toys, nicer house. Because I worked among rich and famous athletes, I convinced myself that my needs were realistic, my greed inconsequential compared to theirs.

This was a smokescreen. Morrie made that obvious. "Mitch, if you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone."

He paused, then looked at me. "I'm dying, right?" Yes.

"Why do you think it's so important for me to hear other people's problems? Don't I have enough pain and suffering of my own?

"Of course I do. But giving to other people is what makes me feel alive. Not my car or my house. Not what I look like in the mirror. When I give my time, when I can make someone smile after they were feeling sad, it's as close to healthy as I ever feel.

"Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious¹², you won't be longing¹³ for somebody else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed with what comes back."

He coughed and reached for the small bell that lay on the chair. He had to poke¹⁴ a few times at it, and I finally picked it up and put it in his hand.

"Thank you," he whispered. He shook it weakly, trying to get Connie's attention.

"This Ted Turner guy," Morrie said, "he couldn't think of anything else for his tombstone?"

'Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn. "

--MAHATMA GANDHI

   我把报纸举到莫里面前，他看见了上面的一行字：
   我不想在我的墓碑上写着
   "我从未拥有过广播网。"
   莫里笑了，然后摇摇头，早晨的阳光从他背后的窗户照射进来，落在窗台上那盆木槿的淡红叶子上。这句话是亿万富翁。有线电视新闻网的创始人，媒体大亨特德•特纳写的，他为未能在公司的一笔大买卖中得到哥伦比亚广播公司的广播网而哀叹。我今天早上把这条新闻告诉莫里是因为我突发奇想，要是特纳发觉自己处于莫里的境地，呼吸渐渐地衰竭，躯体慢慢地变成石头，日子一天天地从日历上划去--他还会为失去广播网而大恸大悲吗？
   "这是同一个问题，米奇，"莫里说。"我们树立了错误的价值观，从而对生活产生了一种幻想破灭的失落感。我认为我们该谈谈这个问题。"
   莫里的注意力集中起来。他现在时好时坏。今天的情况算是不错。前一天晚上，当地的一个清唱组合来为他作了表演，他异常兴奋他讲述着这件事，似乎上门来为他演唱的是黑斑组合①。莫里患病前就十分喜爱音乐，如今这份爱好更强烈了，音乐会感动得他热泪盈眶。他有时在晚上听歌剧，闭上眼睛陶醉在激昂的歌声中。
   ①极有名的黑人歌手组合，共有四人。
   "米奇，你昨晚要是来听就好了。他们唱得棒极了！"
   莫里一向很容易满足，唱歌，跳舞，欢笑对他来说都是莫大的乐趣。如今，物质生活对他越来越无所谓了。人死的时候，人们常说"生不带来，死不带去"。莫里似乎早就明白了这个道理。
   "我们国家提倡灌输的教育形式，"莫里叹道。"你知道他们是怎样灌输的吗，他们对你一遍又一遍地重复，这就是我们国家的做法。拥有得越多越好。钱越多越好。财富越多越好。商业行为也是越多越好。越多越好。越多越好。我们反复地对别人这么说--别人又反复地对我们这么说--一遍又一遍，直到人人都认为这是真理。大多数人会受它迷惑而失去自己的判断能力。
   "无论我生活在哪里，我都会遇到一些对新的东西充满了占有欲的人，想拥有新的汽车，想拥有新的财产，想拥有新的玩具。然后沾沾自喜地向你炫耀：'猜我得到了什么？猜我得到了什么？'
   "你知道我对此是怎么解释的？这些人都渴望得到爱，但又得不到，于是就接受了这些替代品。他们乐于接受物质的东西，期望能得到类似于拥抱的感情回报，但这是行不通的。你无法用物质的东西去替代爱，善良、温柔或朋友间的亲情。
   "钱无法替代温情，权力也无法替代温情，我能告诉你，当我坐在这儿等待死亡时，当你最需要这份温情时，金钱或权力都无法给予你这份感情，不管你拥有多少财富或权势。"
   我环视莫里的书房。它同我第一次见到时的一模一样。书排放在书架的老地方。纸凌乱地堆满了那张；日的书桌。其它的房间也没有什么改善。事实上，莫里有很长时间，也许有好几年没有添置过新的东西--除了医疗器械。他得知自己患上不治之症的那一天，也就是他完全放弃购物欲的那一天。
   因此，电视机还是老牌子，夏洛特开的那辆车还是原来的型号，盘子、银器和毛巾--都是旧的。然而，这屋子却在发生重大的变化。它充满了爱。教诲和交流，它充满了友谊，柔情，但然和眼泪。它充满了同事，学生、默念师，治疗专家，护士和歌手。从真正的意义上说，它成了一个非常富有的家庭，尽管莫里银行帐户上的数字在急剧地减少。
   "这个社会在想要什么和需要什么这个问题上是很感困惑的，"莫里说。"你需要的是食物，而你想要的却是巧克力圣代。你得对自己诚实。你并不需要最新的跑车，你并不需要最大的房子。
   "实际上，它们不能使你感到满足。你知不知道真正使你感到满足的是什么吗？"
   是什么？
   "给予他人你应该给予的东西。"
   听起来像个童子军。
   "我不是指金钱，米奇，我是指你的时间，你的关心，你的闲谈。这并不难。这儿附近开办了一个老年学校，几十个老年人每天去那儿。如果你年轻而且又有专长，学校就会请你去讲课。你在那里会很受欢迎。那些老人非常感激你，你给予了别人，于是你开始赢得别人的尊敬。
   "有很多这样的地方。你不需要有非凡的才能。医院和避难所里那些孤独的人只想得到一点陪伴。你和一个孤独的老头打打牌，你就会发现新的生活价值，因为人们需要你。
   "还记得我说过的关于寻求有意义的生活的话吗？我曾经把它写了下来；但现在我已经能背了：把自己奉献给爱，把自己奉献给社区，把自己奉献给能给予你目标和意义的创造。
   "你瞧，"他咧嘴笑道，"里面没有提到薪水。"
   我把莫里说的记在了黄拍纸簿上。我这么做是因为我不想让他窥视我的眼睛，不想让他揣摸出我的心思。我在想，毕业后的大部分时间我都在追求他所摈弃的东西--更大的玩物，更好的住房。由于我处在那些腰缠万贯、名声显赫的体育明星当中，因此我对自己说我的需求还是很现实的，同他们相比，我的欲望简直微不足道。
   这是烟幕。莫里一针见血他说过。
   "米奇，如果你想对社会的上层炫耀自己，那就打消这个念头，他们照样看不起你，如果你想对社会的底层炫耀自己，也请打消这个念头，他们只会忌妒你。身份和地位往往使你感到无所适从。唯有一颗坦诚的心方能使你悠然地面对整个社会。"
   他停顿了一下，看了我一眼。"我就要死了，是吗？"
   是的。
   "那我为什么还要去关心别人的问题？难道我自己没在受罪？
   "我当然在受罪。但给予他人能使我感到自己还活着。汽车和房子不能给你这种感觉，镜子里照出的模样也不能给你这种感觉。只有当我奉献出了时间，当我使刀"些悲伤的人重又露出笑颜，我才感到我仍像以前一样的健康。
   "只要你做的是发自内心的，你过后就不会感到失望，不会感到妒忌，也不会计较别人的回报。否则，你就要患得患失。"
   他咳嗽起来，伸手去拿椅子上的铃。他抓了几下也没拿住，最后我把它递到了他手里。
   "谢谢，"他低声说。他无力地摇了摇铃，想叫康尼进来。
   "这位特纳老兄，"莫里说，"他就不能在他的墓碑上写些别的？"
   每天晚上，当我睡着时，我便死去了，第二天早晨，
   当我醒来时，我又复活了。
   --圣雄甘地--

1 ted   

vt.翻晒，撒，撒开

参考例句：

• The invaders gut ted the village.侵略者把村中财物洗劫一空。
• She often teds the corn when it's sunny.天好的时候她就翻晒玉米。

2 Founder   

n.创始者，缔造者

参考例句：

• He was extolled as the founder of their Florentine school.他被称颂为佛罗伦萨画派的鼻祖。
• According to the old tradition,Romulus was the founder of Rome.按照古老的传说，罗穆卢斯是古罗马的建国者。

3 lamenting   

adj.悲伤的，悲哀的v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Katydids were lamenting fall's approach. 蝈蝈儿正为秋天临近而哀鸣。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• Lamenting because the papers hadn't been destroyed and the money kept. 她正在吃后悔药呢，后悔自己没有毁了那张字条，把钱昧下来！ 来自英汉文学 - 败坏赫德莱堡

4 corporate   

adj.共同的，全体的；公司的，企业的

参考例句：

• This is our corporate responsibility.这是我们共同的责任。
• His corporate's life will be as short as a rabbit's tail.他的公司的寿命是兔子尾巴长不了。

5 disillusioned   

a.不再抱幻想的，大失所望的，幻想破灭的

参考例句：

• I soon became disillusioned with the job. 我不久便对这个工作不再抱幻想了。
• Many people who are disillusioned in reality assimilate life to a dream. 许多对现实失望的人把人生比作一场梦。

6 cluttered   

v.杂物，零乱的东西零乱vt.( clutter的过去式和过去分词 )；乱糟糟地堆满，把…弄得很乱；（以…） 塞满…

参考例句：

• The room is cluttered up with all kinds of things. 零七八碎的东西放满了一屋子。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• The desk is cluttered with books and papers. 桌上乱糟糟地堆满了书报。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

7 meditation   

n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录

参考例句：

• This peaceful garden lends itself to meditation.这个恬静的花园适于冥想。
• I'm sorry to interrupt your meditation.很抱歉，我打断了你的沉思。

8 depleting   

使大大的减少，使空虚( deplete的现在分词 )； 耗尽，使枯竭

参考例句：

• Regulations are outlawing certain refrigerants, such as chlorofluorocarbons, which contain ozone-depleting chemicals. 随后出台的政策禁用了部分制冷剂，如破坏臭氧层的氟氯碳化合物。
• Aging, being a series of continual losses, can be keenly depleting. 老龄化，作为一个系列的连续亏损，可以清楚地消耗。

9 versus   

prep.以…为对手，对；与…相比之下

参考例句：

• The big match tonight is England versus Spain.今晚的大赛是英格兰对西班牙。
• The most exciting game was Harvard versus Yale.最富紧张刺激的球赛是哈佛队对耶鲁队。

10 scout   

n.童子军，侦察员；v.侦察，搜索

参考例句：

• He was mistaken for an enemy scout and badly wounded.他被误认为是敌人的侦察兵，受了重伤。
• The scout made a stealthy approach to the enemy position.侦察兵偷偷地靠近敌军阵地。

11 jotted   

v.匆忙记下( jot的过去式和过去分词 )；草草记下，匆匆记下

参考例句：

• I jotted down her name. 我匆忙记下了她的名字。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The policeman jotted down my address. 警察匆匆地将我的地址记下。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

12 envious   

adj.嫉妒的，羡慕的

参考例句：

• I don't think I'm envious of your success.我想我并不嫉妒你的成功。
• She is envious of Jane's good looks and covetous of her car.她既忌妒简的美貌又垂涎她的汽车。

13 longing   

n.（for）渴望

参考例句：

• Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
• His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。

14 poke   

n.刺，戳，袋；vt.拨开，刺，戳；vi.戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢

参考例句：

• We never thought she would poke her nose into this.想不到她会插上一手。
• Don't poke fun at me.别拿我凑趣儿。