Part 1 Chapter 1

W HEN I was fifteen, I got hepatitis. It started in the fall and lasted until spring. As the old year darkened and turned colder, I got weaker and weaker. Things didn’t start to improve until the new year. January was warm, and my mother moved my bed out onto the balcony. I saw sky, sun, clouds, and heard the voices of children playing in the courtyard. As dusk came one evening in February, there was the sound of a blackbird singing.

The first time I ventured outside, it was to go from Blumenstrasse, where we lived on the second floor of a massive turn-of-the-century building, to Bahnhofstrasse. That’s where I’d thrown up on the way home from school one day the previous October. I’d been feeling weak for days, in a way that was completely new to me. Every step was an effort. When I was faced with stairs either at home or at school, my legs would hardly carry me. I had no appetite. Even if I sat down at the table hungry, I soon felt queasy¹. I woke up every morning with a dry mouth and the sensation that my insides were in the wrong place and too heavy for my body. I was ashamed of being so weak. I was even more ashamed when I threw up. That was another thing that had never happened to me before. My mouth was suddenly full, I tried to swallow everything down again, and clenched² my teeth with my hand in front of my mouth, but it all burst out of my mouth anyway straight through my fingers. I leaned against the wall of the building, looked down at the vomit³ around my feet, and retched something clear and sticky.

When rescue came, it was almost an assault. The woman seized my arm and pulled me through the dark entryway into the courtyard. Up above there were lines strung from window to window, loaded with laundry. Wood was stacked in the courtyard; in an open workshop a saw screamed and shavings flew. The woman turned on the tap, washed my hand first, and then cupped both of hers and threw water in my face. I dried myself with a handkerchief.

“Get that one!” There were two pails standing⁴ by the faucet⁵; she grabbed one and filled it. I took the other one, filled it, and followed her through the entryway. She swung her arm, the water sluiced⁶ down across the walk and washed the vomit into the gutter⁷. Then she took my pail and sent a second wave of water across the walk.

When she straightened up, she saw I was crying. “Hey, kid,” she said, startled, “hey, kid”—and took me in her arms. I wasn’t much taller than she was, I could feel her breasts against my chest. I smelled the sourness of my own breath and felt her fresh sweat as she held me, and didn’t know where to look. I stopped crying.

She asked me where I lived, put the pails down in the entryway, and took me home, walking beside me holding my schoolbag in one hand and my arm in the other. It’s no great distance from Bahnhofstrasse to Blumenstrasse. She walked quickly, and her decisiveness helped me to keep pace with her. She said goodbye in front of our building.

That same day my mother called in the doctor, who diagnosed hepatitis. At some point I told my mother about the woman. If it hadn’t been for that, I don’t think I would have gone to see her. But my mother simply assumed that as soon as I was better, I would use my pocket money to buy some flowers, go introduce myself, and say thank you, which was why at the end of February I found myself heading for Bahnhofstrasse.

　　我十五岁的时候得了黄疸病，发病时在秋天，病愈时在春天。越到年底，天气越冷，白天越短，我的身体也就越弱，新年伊始才有所好转。一月的天气很暖和，母亲为我在阳台上搭了一张床。我看得见天空、太阳、云彩，也听得见孩子们在院子里玩耍。二月里的一天傍晚，我听见一只乌鸦在歌唱。

　　我们家住在鲜花街一座于世纪之交建造的巨大楼房的二楼。我在这里走的第一段路是从鲜花街到火车站街。十月里的一个星期一，在放学回家的路上，我呕吐了。几天来，我身体特别虚弱，我一生中从未那样虚弱过，每迈一步都很吃力。在家或在学校上楼梯的时候，我的腿几乎抬不起来。我也没有食欲，即使是饥肠辘辘地坐在餐桌旁，也很快就又厌食了。早晨醒来口干舌燥，浑身难受，好像身体的器官都错了位。我的身体这么弱，我感到很害羞，特别是当我呕吐的时候。那样的呕吐在我的一生中还是第一次。我尽力把嘴里的东西咽下去，上嘴唇咬着下嘴唇，手捂着嘴，但是，嘴里的东西还是顺着手指喷了出来。我靠在墙上，看着脚边的污秽物，呕吐起白沫来。

　　把我扶起来的那个女人，她的动作几乎是粗暴的。她搀着我的胳膊，领着我穿过了黑洞洞的门廊来到一座院子里。院子里窗与窗之间都拉上了绳子，上面挂着晾晒的衣服，院子里还堆着木头。在一间露天的工棚里，有人正在锯木头，木屑四溅。在院门旁，有一个水龙头，那个女人拧开了水龙头，先给我洗了手，然后用手捧着水给我冲了脸。我用手帕把脸擦干了。

　　"你拿另外一只！"在水龙头旁有两只水桶，她拿了一只，装满了水，我拿了另外一只，也装满水。跟在她后面。她用力摆了一下把水泼到了路上，呕吐物被冲到了下水道里。她从我手里接过水桶，把这一桶水也泼到了路上。

　　她站起身来，看见我在哭。"小家伙，"她惊讶地说，"小家伙。"她把我搂在了怀里。我几乎和她一样高，感觉到她的胸贴在我的胸上，在这样紧的拥抱中我闻到了自己呼出的难闻的气昧和她身上新鲜的汗味。我不知道应该把两支胳膊放在什么地方。我停止了哭泣。

　　她问我住在什么地方，然后把水桶放到了门廊里，送我回家。她走在我身旁，一手拿着我的书包，一手扶着我的胳膊。从火车站街到鲜花街并不远。她走得很快，很果断，这使我跟上她的步伐很容易。在我家门前她与我告了别。

　　就在同一天，母亲请来了医生，他诊断我得了黄疸病。不知什么时候我向母亲提起了那个女人。我没想到我还应该去看她，但我母亲却理所当然地这样认为。她说，只要有可能，我应该用我的零花钱买一束鲜花，做一下自我介绍，并对她表示感谢。这样，二月底，我去了火车站街。

1 queasy   

adj.易呕的

参考例句：

• I felt a little queasy on the ship.我在船上觉得有点晕眩想呕吐。
• He was very prone to seasickness and already felt queasy.他快晕船了，已经感到恶心了。

2 clenched   

v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He clenched his fists in anger. 他愤怒地攥紧了拳头。
• She clenched her hands in her lap to hide their trembling. 她攥紧双手放在腿上，以掩饰其颤抖。 来自《简明英汉词典》

3 vomit   

v.呕吐，作呕；n.呕吐物，吐出物

参考例句：

• They gave her salty water to make her vomit.他们给她喝盐水好让她吐出来。
• She was stricken by pain and began to vomit.她感到一阵疼痛，开始呕吐起来。

4 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

5 faucet   

n.水龙头

参考例句：

• The faucet has developed a drip.那个水龙头已经开始滴水了。
• She turned off the faucet and dried her hands.她关掉水龙头，把手擦干。

6 sluiced   

v.冲洗( sluice的过去式和过去分词 )；（指水）喷涌而出；漂净；给…安装水闸

参考例句：

• The sailors sluiced the deck with hoses. 水手们用水龙带冲洗甲板。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• He sluiced the bath and filled it with water. 他冲洗了浴缸，然后放满了一缸水。 来自辞典例句

7 gutter   

n.沟，街沟，水槽，檐槽，贫民窟

参考例句：

• There's a cigarette packet thrown into the gutter.阴沟里有个香烟盒。
• He picked her out of the gutter and made her a great lady.他使她脱离贫苦生活，并成为贵妇。