15
It felt appropriate that their climb back to the up top would occur during a power holiday. Jahns could
agony of the descent had been a tease, the discomfort3 of constant movement disguising itself as the
fatigue4 of exercise. But now her frail5 muscles were really put to work. Each step was something to be
conquered. She would lift a boot to the next tread, place a hand on her knee, and push herself another
ten inches up what felt like a million feet of spiral staircase.
The landing to her right displayed the number fifty-eight. Each landing seemed to be in view
Marnes walked beside her, his hand on the inner rail, hers on the outer, the walking stick clanging
on the lonely treads between them. Occasionally, their arms brushed against one another. It felt as
though they’d been away for months, away from their offices, their duties, their cold familiarity. The
would. She had dreamed of a return to her youth and had instead found herself haunted by old ghosts.
She had hoped to find a renewed vigor11 and instead felt the years of wear in her knees and back. What
was to be a grand tour of her silo was instead trudged12 in relative anonymity13, and now she wondered if
its operation and upkeep even needed her.
The world around her was stratified. She saw that ever more clearly. The up top concerned itself
with a blurring14 view, taking for granted the squeezed juice enjoyed with breakfast. The people who
lived below and worked the gardens or cleaned animal cages orbited their own world of soil,
greenery, and fertilizer. To them, the outside view was peripheral15, ignored until there was a cleaning.
And then there was the down deep, the machine shops and chemistry labs, the pumping oil and
grinding gears, the hands-on world of grease-limned fingernails and the musk16 of toil17. To these people,
the outside world and the food that trickled18 down were mere19 rumors20 and bodily sustenance21. The point
of the silo was for the people to keep the machines running, when Jahns had always, her entire long
life, seen it the other way around.
Landing fifty-seven appeared through the fog of darkness. A young girl sat on the steel grate, her
feet tucked up against herself, arms wrapped around her knees, a children’s book in its protective
plastic cover held out into the feeble light spilling from an overhead bulb. Jahns watched the girl,
see who was passing the apartment floor’s landing. They left her behind, and she gradually faded in
the darkness as Jahns and Marnes struggled ever upward, exhausted23 from their third day of climbing,
no vibrations24 or ringing footsteps above or below them, the silo quiet and eerily25 devoid26 of life, room
enough for two old friends, two comrades, to walk side by side on the steps of chipping paint, their
arms swinging and every now and then, very occasionally, brushing together.
••••
They stayed that night at the midlevel deputy station, the officer of the mids insisting they take his
hospitality and Jahns eager to buttress28 support for yet another sheriff nominated from outside the
profession. After a cold dinner in near darkness and enough idle banter29 to satisfy their host and his
wife, Jahns retired30 to the main office, where a convertible31 couch had been made as comfortable as
possible, the linens32 borrowed from a nicer elsewhere and smelling of two-chit soap. Marnes had been
set up on a cot in the holding cell, which still smelled of tub gin and a drunk who had gotten too
carried away after the cleaning.
It was impossible to notice when the lights went out, they were so dim already. Jahns rested on the
cot in the darkness, her muscles throbbing33 and luxuriating in her body’s stillness, her feet cramped34
and feeling like solid bone, her back tender and in need of stretching. Her mind, however, continued
to move. It drifted back to the weary conversations that had passed the time on their most recent day
of climbing.
She and Marnes seemed to be spiraling around one another, testing the memory of old attractions,
probing the tenderness of ancient scars, looking for some soft spot that remained among brittle35 and
broken bodies, across wrinkled and dried-paper skin, and within hearts callused by law and politics.
wary37 lovers to make room in the middle. Jahns grieved anew for her long-lost husband. For the first
time in her life, she grieved for the subsequent decades of solitude38. What she had always seen as her
calling—this living apart and serving the greater good—now felt more like a curse. Her life had been
taken from her. Squeezed into pulp39. The juice of her efforts and sacrificed years had dripped down
through a silo that, just forty levels below her, hardly knew and barely cared.
The saddest part of this journey had been this understanding she’d come to with Holston’s ghost.
She could admit it now: a great reason for her hike, perhaps even the reason for wanting Juliette as
sheriff, was to fall all the way to the down deep, away from the sad sight of two lovers nestled
together in the crook41 of a hill as the wind etched away all their wasted youth. She had set out to
escape Holston, and had instead found him. Now she understood, if not the mystery of why all those
sent out to clean actually did so, why a sad few would dare to volunteer for the duty. Better to join a
ghost than to be haunted by them. Better no life than an empty one—
tried to sit up, to see in the dark, but her muscles were too sore, her eyes too old. She wanted to call
out, to let her hosts know that she was okay, in need of nothing, but she listened instead.
Footsteps came to her, nearly invisible in the worn carpet. There were no words, just the creaking
understanding between two living ghosts.
Jahns’s breath caught in her chest. Her hand groped for a wrist as it clutched her sheets. She slid
over on the small convertible bed to make room and pulled him down beside her.
Marnes wrapped his arms around her back, wiggled beneath her until she was lying on his side, a
leg draped over his, her hands on his neck. She felt his mustache brush against her cheek, heard his
lips purse and peck the corner of hers.
Jahns held his cheeks and burrowed45 her face into his shoulder. She cried, like a schoolchild, like a
new shadow who felt lost and afraid in the wilderness46 of a strange and terrifying job. She cried with
fear, but that soon drained away. It drained like the soreness in her back as his hands rubbed her
there. It drained until numbness47 found its place, and then, after what felt like a forever of shuddering48
Jahns felt alive in her skin. She felt the tingle50 of flesh touching51 flesh, of just her forearm against
his hard ribs52, her hands on his shoulder, his hands on her hips53. And then the tears were some joyous54
release, some mourning of the lost time, some welcomed sadness of a moment long delayed and
finally there, arms wrapped around it and holding tight.
She fell asleep like that, exhausted from far more than the climb, nothing more than a few
trembling kisses, hands interlocking, a whispered word of tenderness and appreciation55, and then the
depths of sleep pulling her down, the weariness in her joints and bones succumbing56 to a slumber57 she
didn’t want but sorely needed. She slept with a man in her arms for the first time in decades, and
woke to a bed familiarly empty, but a heart strangely full.
••••
In the middle of their fourth and final day of climbing, they approached the midthirties of IT.
Jahns had found herself taking more breaks for water and to rub her muscles along the way, not for
the exhaustion58 she feigned59 but the dread60 of this stopover and seeing Bernard, the fear of their trip
ever coming to an end.
repairs, had warned Jahns of the flickering63 lights from the backup generator64. Still, the effect of the
shimmering65 illumination had worn on her nerves during the long climb. The steady pulsing reminded
her of a bad lightbulb she’d unhappily endured for the better part of her first term. Two different techs
from Electrical had come to inspect the bulb. Both had deemed it too operational to replace. It had
taken an appeal to McLain, the head of Supply even back then, to score her a replacement66.
Jahns remembered McLain delivering the bulb herself. She hadn’t been head of Supply for long
and had fairly smuggled67 the thing up those many flights of stairs. Even then, Jahns had looked up to
her, this woman with so much power and responsibility. She remembered McLain asking her why
Jahns didn’t just do what everyone else did—simply break the bulb the rest of the way.
The fact that this had never occurred to Jahns used to bother her—until she began to take pride in
this failing; until she got to know McLain well enough to understand the question was a compliment,
the hand-delivery her reward.
When they reached the thirty-fourth, Jahns felt like they were, in a sense, home again: back in the
realm of the familiar, at the main landing for IT. She waited by the railing, leaning on it and her
walking stick, while Marnes got the door. As it was cracked open, the pale glow of diminished power
was swept off the stairwell by the bright lights blooming inside. It hadn’t been widely publicized, but
the reason for the severe power restrictions68 on other levels was largely the exemptions69 IT possessed70.
Bernard had been quick to point out various clauses in the Pact71 to support this. Juliette had bitched
that servers shouldn’t get priority over grow lights but resigned herself to getting the main generator
realigned and taking what she could. Jahns told Juliette to view this as her first lesson in political
compromise. Juliette said she saw it as a display of weakness.
Inside, Jahns found Bernard waiting for them, a look on his face like he’d swallowed sour fruit
juice. A conversation between several IT workers standing40 off to the side was quickly silenced with
“Bernard,” she said, trying to keep her breathing steady. She didn’t want him to know how tired
she was. Let him think she was strolling by on her way up from the down deep, like it was no big
deal.
“Marie.”
It was a deliberate slight. He didn’t even look Marnes’s way or acknowledge that the deputy was
in the room.
“Would you like to sign these here? Or in the conference room?” She dug into her bag for the
contract with Juliette’s name on it.
“What games are you playing at, Marie?”
Jahns felt her temperature rise. The cluster of workers in silver IT jumpsuits were following the
exchange. “Playing at?” she asked.
“You think this power holiday of yours is cute? Your way of getting back at me?”
“Getting back—?”
“I’ve got servers, Marie—”
“Your servers have their full allocation of power,” Jahns reminded him, her voice rising.
down, which we’ve never had to do!”
Marnes stepped between the two of them, his hands raised. “Easy,” he said coolly, his gaze on
Bernard.
“Call off your little shadow here,” Bernard said.
Jahns placed a hand on Marnes’s arm.
“The Pact is clear, Bernard. It’s my choice. My nomination74. You and I have a nice history of
signing off on each others’—”
“And I told you this girl from the pits will not do—”
“She’s got the job,” Marnes said, interrupting. Jahns noticed his hand had fallen to the butt27 of his
gun. She wasn’t sure if Bernard had noticed or not, but he fell silent. His eyes, however, did not leave
Jahns’s.
“I won’t sign it.”
“Then next time, I won’t ask.”
Bernard smiled. “You think you’ll outlive another sheriff?” He turned toward the workers in the
corner and waved one of them over. “Why do I somehow doubt that?”
One of the technicians removed himself from the whispering group and approached. Jahns
recognized the young man from the cafeteria, had seen him up top on nights she worked late. Lukas,
if she remembered correctly. He shook her hand and smiled an awkward hello.
Bernard twirled his own hand, stirring the air with his impatience75. “Sign whatever she needs. I
refuse to. Make copies. Take care of the rest.” He waved dismissively, turned and looked Marnes and
Jahns up and down one final time as if disgusted with their condition, their age, their positions,
something. “Oh, and have Sims top up their canteens. See that they have food enough to stagger to
their homes. Whatever it takes to power their decrepit76 legs out of here and back to wherever it is they
belong.”
And with that, Bernard strode off toward the barred gates that led into the heart of IT, back to his
brightly lit offices, where servers hummed happily, the temperature rising in the slow-moving air like
the heat of angered flesh as capillaries77 squeezed, the blood in them rising to a boil.
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
gauge
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| v.精确计量；估计；n.标准度量；计量器 | |
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laborious
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| adj.吃力的，努力的，不流畅 | |
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3
discomfort
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| n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便 | |
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fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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daydream
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| v.做白日梦，幻想 | |
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loomed
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| v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的过去式和过去分词 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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8
taunting
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| 嘲讽( taunt的现在分词 )； 嘲弄； 辱骂； 奚落 | |
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9
plodding
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| a.proceeding in a slow or dull way | |
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10
wrangle
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| vi.争吵 | |
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11
vigor
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| n.活力，精力，元气 | |
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trudged
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| vt.& vi.跋涉，吃力地走（trudge的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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13
anonymity
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| n.the condition of being anonymous | |
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14
blurring
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| n.模糊，斑点甚多，（图像的）混乱v.（使）变模糊( blur的现在分词 )；（使）难以区分 | |
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15
peripheral
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| adj.周边的，外围的 | |
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16
musk
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| n.麝香, 能发出麝香的各种各样的植物，香猫 | |
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17
toil
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| vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事 | |
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18
trickled
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| v.滴( trickle的过去式和过去分词 )；淌；使)慢慢走；缓慢移动 | |
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19
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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20
rumors
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| n.传闻( rumor的名词复数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷v.传闻( rumor的第三人称单数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷 | |
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21
sustenance
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| n.食物，粮食；生活资料；生计 | |
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22
darted
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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23
exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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24
vibrations
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| n.摆动( vibration的名词复数 )；震动；感受；（偏离平衡位置的）一次性往复振动 | |
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25
eerily
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| adv.引起神秘感或害怕地 | |
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26
devoid
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| adj.全无的，缺乏的 | |
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27
butt
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| n.笑柄；烟蒂；枪托；臀部；v.用头撞或顶 | |
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28
buttress
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| n.支撑物；v.支持 | |
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29
banter
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| n.嘲弄，戏谑；v.取笑，逗弄，开玩笑 | |
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30
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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31
convertible
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| adj.可改变的，可交换，同意义的；n.有活动摺篷的汽车 | |
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32
linens
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| n.亚麻布( linen的名词复数 )；家庭日用织品 | |
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33
throbbing
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| a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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cramped
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| a.狭窄的 | |
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brittle
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| adj.易碎的；脆弱的；冷淡的；(声音)尖利的 | |
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36
sneaking
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| a.秘密的，不公开的 | |
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wary
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| adj.谨慎的，机警的，小心的 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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pulp
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| n.果肉，纸浆；v.化成纸浆，除去...果肉，制成纸浆 | |
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40
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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41
crook
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| v.使弯曲；n.小偷，骗子，贼；弯曲(处) | |
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squeaked
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| v.短促地尖叫( squeak的过去式和过去分词 )；吱吱叫；告密；充当告密者 | |
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43
joints
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| 接头( joint的名词复数 )； 关节； 公共场所（尤指价格低廉的饮食和娱乐场所） （非正式）； 一块烤肉 （英式英语） | |
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44
fragrant
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| adj.芬香的，馥郁的，愉快的 | |
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45
burrowed
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| v.挖掘（洞穴），挖洞( burrow的过去式和过去分词 )；翻寻 | |
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46
wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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47
numbness
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| n.无感觉，麻木，惊呆 | |
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48
shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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49
sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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50
tingle
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| vi.感到刺痛，感到激动；n.刺痛，激动 | |
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51
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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52
ribs
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| n.肋骨( rib的名词复数 )；（船或屋顶等的）肋拱；肋骨状的东西；（织物的）凸条花纹 | |
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53
hips
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| abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯，耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 )；[建筑学]屋脊；臀围（尺寸）；臀部…的 | |
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54
joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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55
appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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56
succumbing
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| 不再抵抗（诱惑、疾病、攻击等）( succumb的现在分词 )； 屈从； 被压垮； 死 | |
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57
slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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58
exhaustion
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| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
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59
feigned
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| a.假装的，不真诚的 | |
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60
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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61
sparse
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| adj.稀疏的，稀稀落落的，薄的 | |
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62
oversee
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| vt.监督，管理 | |
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63
flickering
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| adj.闪烁的，摇曳的，一闪一闪的 | |
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64
generator
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| n.发电机，发生器 | |
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65
shimmering
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| v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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66
replacement
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| n.取代，替换，交换；替代品，代用品 | |
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67
smuggled
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| 水货 | |
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68
restrictions
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| 约束( restriction的名词复数 )； 管制； 制约因素； 带限制性的条件（或规则） | |
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69
exemptions
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| n.（义务等的）免除( exemption的名词复数 )；免（税）；（收入中的）免税额 | |
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70
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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71
pact
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| n.合同，条约，公约，协定 | |
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72
spotted
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| adj.有斑点的，斑纹的，弄污了的 | |
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73
ramping
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| 土堤斜坡( ramp的现在分词 )； 斜道； 斜路； （装车或上下飞机的）活动梯 | |
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nomination
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| n.提名，任命，提名权 | |
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75
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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76
decrepit
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| adj.衰老的，破旧的 | |
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77
capillaries
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| 毛细管，毛细血管( capillary的名词复数 ) | |
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