Mr Jenkins came striding up to our table with a very purposeful look on his face.
"Where is that grandson of yours?" he said to my grandmother. He spoke1 rudely and lookedvery angry.
My grandmother put on her frostiest look, but didn't answer him.
"My guess is that he and my son Bruno are up to some devilment," Mr Jenkins went on.
"Bruno?hasn't turned up for his supper and it takes a lot to make that boy miss his food!""I must admit he has a very healthy appetite," my grandmother said.
"My feeling is that you're in on this as well," Mr Jenkins said. "I don't know who the devilyou are and I don't much care, but you played a nasty trick on me and my wife this afternoon. Youput a dirty little mouse on the table. That makes me think all three of you are up to something. So ifyou know where Bruno's hiding, kindly2 tell me at once.""That was no trick I played on you," my grandmother said. "That mouse I tried to give youwas your own little boy, Bruno. I was being kind to you. I was trying to restore him to the bosom3 ofhis family. You refused to take him in."
"What the blazes do you mean, madam?" shouted Mr Jenkins. "My son isn't a mouse!" Hisblack moustache was jumping up and down like crazy as he spoke. "Come on, woman! Where is he?
Out with it!"
The family at the table nearest to us had all stopped eating and were staring at Mr Jerkins. Mygrandmother sat there puffing4 away calmly at her black cigar. "I can well understand your anger, MrJerkins," she said. "Any other English father would be just as cross as you are. But over in Norwaywhere I come from, we are quite used to these sort of happenings. We have learnt to accept them aspart of everyday life."
"You must be mad, woman!" cried Mr Jerkins. "Where is Bruno? If you don't tell me at once Ishall summon the police!"
"Bruno is a mouse," my grandmother said, calm as ever.
"He most certainly is not a mouse!" shouted Mr Jerkins.
"Oh yes I am!" Bruno said, poking5 his head up out of the handbag.
Mr Jerkins leapt about three feet into the air.
"Hello, Dad," Bruno said. He had a silly sort of mousy grin on his face.
Mr Jenkins's mouth dropped open so wide I could see the gold fillings in his back teeth.
"Don't worry, Dad," Bruno went on. "It's not as bad as all that. Just so long as the cat doesn'tget me."
"B-B-Bruno!" stammered6 Mr Jenkins.
"No more school!" said Bruno, grinning a broad and asinine7 mouse-grin. "No morehomework! I shall live in the kitchen cupboard and feast on raisins8 and honey!""B-b-but B-B-Bruno!" stammered Mr Jenkins again. "H-how did this happen?" The poor manhad no wind left in his sails at all.
"Witches," my grandmother said. "The witches did it.""I can't have a mouse for a son!" shrieked9 Mr Jenkins.
"You've got one," my grandmother said. "Be nice to him, Mr Jenkins.""Mrs Jerkins will go crazy!" yelled Mr Jerkins. "She can't stand the things!""She'll just have to get used to him," my grandmother said. "I hope you don't keep a cat in thehouse."
"We do! We do!" cried Mr Jerkins. "Topsy is my wife's favourite creature!""Then you'll just have to get rid of Topsy," my grandmother said. "Your son is moreimportant than your cat."
"He certainly is!" Bruno shouted from inside the handbag. "You tell Mum she's got to get ridof Topsy before I go home!"
By now half the Dining-Room was watching our little group. Knives and forks and spoonshad been put down and all over the place heads were turning round to stare at Mr Jerkins as he stoodthere spluttering and shouting. They couldn't see either Bruno or me and they were wondering whatall the fuss was about.
"By the way," my grandmother said, "would you like to know who did this to him?" Therewas a mischievous10 little smile on her face and I could see that she was about to get Mr Jerkins intotrouble.
"Who?" he cried. "Who did it?"
"That woman over there," my grandmother said. "The small one in a black dress at the headof the long table."
"She's RSPCC!" cried Mr Jerkins. "She's the Chairwoman!""No, she's not," my grandmother said. "She's The Grand High Witch Of All The World.""You mean she did it, that skinny little woman over there!" shouted Mr Jenkins, pointing ather with a long finger. "By gad11, I'll have my lawyers on to her for this! I'll make her pay through thenose!"
"I wouldn't do anything rash," my grandmother said to him. "That woman has magic powers.
She might decide to turn you into something even sillier than a mouse. A cockroach12 perhaps.""Turn me into a cockroach!" shouted Mr Jenkins, puffing out his chest. "I'd like to see hertry!" He swung around and started marching across the Dining-Room towards The Grand HighWitch's table. My grandmother and I watched him. Bruno had jumped up on to our table and was alsowatching his father. Practically everyone in the Dining-Room was watching Mr Jenkins now. I stayedwhere I was, peeping out of my grandmother's handbag. I thought it might be wiser to stay put.
詹金斯先生和他的儿子
詹金斯先生大步向我们的桌子走来,脸上带着一副来找事的表情。
“你的外孙呢?”他问我的姥姥,口气粗鲁,一脸非常生气的样子。
我姥姥冷若冰霜,没有回答他。
“我猜想他和我的儿子布鲁诺在搞什么恶作剧,”詹金斯先生说下去,“布鲁诺没来吃晚饭,有东西吃他是绝不会错过的!”
“我必须承认他的胃口极好。”我姥姥说。
“我觉得你也参与了这场恶作剧,”詹金斯先生说,“我不知道你是谁,也不想知道,但你今天傍晚作弄过我和我的妻子。你把一只肮脏的小老鼠放在桌子上。这使我认为你们三个想要搞什么恶作剧。如果你知道布鲁诺藏在哪里,请你马上告诉我。”
“我根本没有作弄你,”我姥姥说,“我想给你的那只老鼠正是你的儿子布鲁诺。我对你很好。我是想把他送还给你们,好让你们合家团聚,但是你却拒绝接收他。”
“你这是什么意思啊,太太?”詹金斯先生叫道,“我的儿子不是老鼠!”他说话时,他的黑色小胡子又上下跳个不停,“说吧,老太婆!他在哪里?说出来吧!”
离我们桌子最近的一家人停下吃饭,看着詹金斯先生。我姥姥坐在那里安详地吸着她的黑雪茄。“你这样生气我很理解,詹金斯先生,”她说,“英国任何一位父亲都会和你一样生气的。但在挪威——我是从那儿来的,这种事我们早已司空见惯了。我们已经学会了接受这种事实,它犹如日常生活中的一部分。”
“你一定疯了,老太婆!”詹金斯先生叫道,“布鲁诺在哪里?如果你不马上告诉我,我就叫警察了!”
“布鲁诺是一只老鼠。”我姥姥照旧镇静地说。
“他绝不是一只老鼠!”詹金斯先生叫道。
“噢,是的,我是一只老鼠!”布鲁诺从手提包里伸出他的头来说。
詹金斯先生当场跳了三英尺高。
“你好,爸爸。”布鲁诺说。他脸上露出老鼠傻笑的样子。
詹金斯先生张大了嘴,大得我都能看见他嘴里用金子补过的后牙。
“别担心,爸爸,”布鲁诺说下去,“根本不怎么坏。只要不让猫捉到我就行了。”
“布……布……布鲁诺!”詹金斯先生结结巴巴地说。
“不用再上学了!”布鲁诺露出更傻乎乎的老鼠笑容,“不用再做家庭作业了!我将待在厨房食品柜里大吃葡萄干和蜜糖!”
“不……不……不过布……布……布鲁诺!”詹金斯先生又结结巴巴地说起来,“这……这到底是怎么回事?”那个可怜的人完全要瘫倒了。
“是那些女巫,”我姥姥说,“是那些女巫干的坏事。”
“我不能要一只老鼠做儿子!”詹金斯先生叫道。
“但你已经有了一只,”我姥姥说,“要好好地待他,詹金斯先生。”
“詹金斯太太会发疯的!”詹金斯先生说,“她受不了这玩意儿!”
“她得习惯和他相处,”我姥姥说,“我希望你家没养猫。”
“我们养了!我们养了!”詹金斯先生叫道,“托普西是我妻子最爱的宠物!”
“那你们只好把托普西送掉,”我姥姥说,“你们的儿子比你们的猫重要。”
“当然是这样!”布鲁诺在手提包里叫道,“你告诉妈妈,在我回家以前,她得把托普西送掉!”
现在半个餐厅的人正朝我们这边看着,刀叉都放下了,头都转过来看着詹金斯先生站在这里唾沫四溅地大叫。他们看不见布鲁诺和我,只是奇怪这儿的人在吵什么。
“再说,”我姥姥说,“你想知道是谁把他变成老鼠的吗?”她脸上露出一丝调皮的微笑,我看到她正要使詹金斯先生陷入困境。
“是谁?”他叫道,“是谁干的?”
“那边那个女人,”我姥姥说,“那个穿黑裙子的小个子女人,坐在长桌头上的。”
“她是‘防止虐待儿童王家协会’的人!”詹金斯先生叫道,“她是会长!”
“不,她不是的,”我姥姥说,“她是全世界的女巫大王。”
“你是说这是她干的,那边那个瘦小的女人?”詹金斯先生用中指指着她,“天啊,我要叫我的律师们为这件事控告她!我要找她算账!”
“我可不做任何莽撞的事,”我姥姥对他说,“那女人有魔法。她会把你变成比老鼠更糟糕的东西,也许是一只蟑螂。”
“把我变成一只蟑螂!”詹金斯先生气哼哼地大叫,“我倒想看着她试一试!”他猛一转身穿过餐厅,向女巫大王的桌子走去。我姥姥和我看着他。布鲁诺已经跳到我们的桌子上,也在看着他的爸爸。现在餐厅里每一个人都在看着詹金斯先生。我留在原处不动,从我姥姥的手提包里探头往外看。我想,待着不动或许是明智的。
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1
spoke
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n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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2
kindly
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adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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3
bosom
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n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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4
puffing
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v.使喷出( puff的现在分词 );喷着汽(或烟)移动;吹嘘;吹捧 | |
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5
poking
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n. 刺,戳,袋 vt. 拨开,刺,戳 vi. 戳,刺,捅,搜索,伸出,行动散慢 | |
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6
stammered
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v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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7
asinine
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adj.愚蠢的 | |
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8
raisins
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n.葡萄干( raisin的名词复数 ) | |
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9
shrieked
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v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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10
mischievous
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adj.调皮的,恶作剧的,有害的,伤人的 | |
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11
gad
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n.闲逛;v.闲逛 | |
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12
cockroach
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n.蟑螂 | |
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