Shangguan Lu trembled under the gentle gaze of her mother-in-law. As she stared sadly atthe older woman’s kind face, her ashen2 lips quivered, as if she wanted to say something.
“The devil’s gotten back into that old bastard3 Sima, firing his gun so early in the morning!”
Shangguan Lü announced.
“Mother …” Shangguan Lu said.
Clapping her hands to loosen the dirt, Shangguan Lü muttered softly, “My good daughter-in-law, try your best! If this one’s a girl, too, I’d be a fool to keep defending you.”
Tears trickled4 from Shangguan Lu’s eyes as she bit down on her lip; holding up hersagging belly5, she climbed back onto the dirt-covered kang.
“You’ve been down this road before,” Shangguan Lü said as she laid a roll of white cottonand a pair of scissors on the kang. “Go ahead and have your baby.” Then, with an impatientfrown, she said, “Your father-in-law and Laidi’s daddy are in the barn tending to the blackdonkey. This will be her first foal, so I should be out there giving them a hand.”
Shangguan Lu nodded. Another explosion flew in on the wind, setting off a round ofbarking by frightened dogs. Sima Ting’s booming voice came in fits: “Fellow townsmen, fleefor your lives, don’t wait another minute …” She felt the baby inside her kick, as if inresponse to Sima Ting’s shouts, the stabbing pains forcing drops of rancid sweat out of everypore in her body. She clenched6 her teeth to keep the scream inside her from bursting out.
Through the mist of tears she saw the lush black hair of her mother-in-law as she knelt at thealtar and placed three sandalwood joss sticks in Guanyin’s burner. Fragrant7 smoke curled upand quickly filled the room.
“Merciful Bodhisattva Guanyin, who succors8 the downtrodden and the distressed9, protectand take pity on me, deliver a son to this family…” Pressing down on her arched, swollenbelly with both hands, cold to the touch, Shangguan Lu gazed up at the enigmatic, glossy11 faceof the ceramic12 Guanyin in her altar, and said a silent prayer as fresh tears began to flow.
Removing her wet trousers and rolling up the shirt to expose her belly and her breasts, shegripped the edge of the kang. In between contractions13 she ran her fingers through her mattedhair and leaned against the rolled-up grass mat and millet14 stalks.
The chipped quicksilver surface of a mirror in the window lattice reflected her profile:
sweat- soaked hair, long, slanted15, lusterless eyes, a pale high- bridged nose, and full butchapped lips that never stopped quaking. Moisture-laden sunbeams streamed in through thewindow and fell on her belly. Its twisting, swollen10 blue veins16 and white, pitted skin lookedhideous to her; mixed feelings, dark and light, like the clear blue of a summer sky inNortheast Gaomi with dark rain clouds rolling past, gripped her. She could hardly bear to lookat that enormous, strangely taut17 belly.
She had once dreamed that her fetus18 was actually a chunk19 of cold steel. Another time she’ddreamed that it was a large, warty20 toad21. She could bear the thought of a chunk of steel, but theimage of the toad made her shudder22. “Lord in Heaven, protect me … Worthy23 Ancestors,protect me … gods and demons24 everywhere, protect me, spare me, let me deliver a healthybaby boy … my very own son, come to Mother … Father of Heaven, Mother of Earth, yellowspirits and fox fairies, help me, please …” And so she prayed and pleaded, assaulted bywrenching contractions. As she clung to the mat beneath her, her muscles twitched25 andjumped, her eyes bulged26. Mixed in with the wash of red light were white-hot threads thattwisted and curled and shrank in front of her like silver melting in a furnace. In the end,willpower alone could not keep the scream from bursting through her lips; it flew through thewindow lattice and bounced up and down the streets and byways, where it met Sima Ting’sshout and entwined with it, a braid of sound that snaked through the hairy ears of the tall,husky, stooped-over Swedish pastor27 Malory, with his large head and scraggly red hair. Hestopped on his way up the rotting boards of the steeple stairs. His deep blue ovine eyes,always moist and teary, and capable of moving you to the depths of your soul, suddenlyemitted dancing sparks of startled glee. Crossing himself with his pudgy red fingers, heuttered in a thick Gaomi accent: “Almighty God …” He began climbing again, and when hereached the top, he rang a rusty28 bronze bell. The desolate29 sound spread through the mist-enshrouded, rosy30 dawn.
At the precise moment when the first peal31 of the bell rang out, and the shouted warning of aJap attack hung in the air, a flood of amniotic fluid gushed32 from between the legs ofShangguan Lu. The muttony smell of a milk goat rose in the air, as did the sometimespungent, sometimes subtle aroma33 of locust34 blossoms. The scene of making love with PastorMalory beneath the locust tree last year flashed before her eyes with remarkable35 clarity, butbefore she gained any pleasure from the recollection, her mother-in-law ran into the roomwith blood-spattered hands, throwing fear into her, as she saw green sparks dancing off thosehands.
“Has the baby come yet?” her mother-in-law asked, nearly shouting.
She shook her head, feeling ashamed.
Her mother-in-law’s head quaked brilliantly in the sunlight, and she noted36 with amazementthat the older woman’s hair had turned gray.
“I thought you’d have had it by now.” Shangguan Lü reached out to touch her belly. Thosehands — large knuckles37, hard nails, rough skin, covered with blood — made her cringe; butshe lacked the strength to move away from them as they settled unceremoniously onto herswollen belly, making her heart skip a beat and sending an icy current racing38 through herguts. Screams emerged unchecked, from terror, not pain. The hands probed and pressed and,finally, thumped39, like testing a melon for ripeness. At last, they fell away and hung in thesun’s rays, heavy, despondent41, as if she’d come away with an unripe42 melon. Her mother-in-law floated ethereally before her eyes, except for those hands, which were solid, awesome,autonomous, free to roam where they pleased. Her mother-in-law’s voice seemed to comefrom far away, from the depths of a pond, carried on the stench of mud and the bubbles of acrab: “… a melon falls to the ground when it’s time, and nothing will stop it… you have totough it out, za-za hu-hu … want people to mock you? Doesn’t it bother you that your sevenprecious daughters will laugh at you …” She watched one of those hands descend43 weaklyand, disgustingly, thump40 her belly again, producing soft hollow thuds, like a wet goatskindrum. “All you young women are spoiled. When your husband came into this world, I wassewing shoe soles the whole time …”
Finally, the thumping44 stopped and the hand pulled back into the shadows, where its hazyoutline looked like the claws of a wild beast. Her mother-in-law’s voice glimmered45 in thedarkness, the redolence of locust flowers wafted46 over. “Look at that belly, it’s huge, and it’scovered with strange markings. It must be a boy. That’s your good fortune, and mine, and thewhole Shangguan family, for that matter. Bodhisattva, be here with her, Lord in Heaven,come to her side. Without a son, you’ll be no better than a slave as long as you live, but withone, you’ll be the mistress. Believe me or not, it’s up to you. Actually, it isn’t…”
“I believe, Mother, I believe you!” Shangguan Lu said reverently47. Her gaze fell on the darkstains on the wall, grief filling her heart as memories of what had happened three years beforesurfaced. She had just delivered her seventh daughter, Shangguan Qiudi, driving her husband,Shangguan Shouxi, into such a blind rage that he’d flung a hammer at her, hitting her squarelyin the head and staining the wall with her blood.
Her mother-in-law laid a basket upside down next to her. Her voice burned through thedarkness like the flames of a wildfire: “Say this, ‘The child in my belly is a princely little boy’
Say it!” The basket was filled with peanuts. The woman’s face was suffused48 with a somberkindness; she was part deity49, part loving parent, and Shangguan Lu was moved to tears.
“The child I’m carrying is a princely little boy. I’m carrying a prince … my own son …”
Her mother-in-law thrust some peanuts into her hand and told her to say, “Peanuts peanutspeanuts, boys and girls, the balance of yin and yang.”
Gratefully wrapping her hand around the peanuts, she repeated the mantra: “Peanutspeanuts peanuts, boys and girls, the balance of yin and yang.”
Shangguan Lü bent50 down, her tears falling unchecked. “Bodhi-sattva, be with her, Lord inHeaven, come to her side. Great joy will soon befall the Shangguan family! Laidi’s mother,lie here and shuck peanuts until it’s time. Our donkey’s about to foal. It’s her first, so I cannotstay with you.”
“You go on, Mother,” Shangguan Lu said emotionally. “Lord in Heaven, keep theShangguan family’s black donkey safe, let her foal without incident…”
With a sigh, Shangguan Lü reeled out the door.
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1
tamping
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| n.填塞物，捣紧v.捣固( tamp的现在分词 )；填充；（用炮泥）封炮眼口；夯实 | |
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ashen
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| adj.灰的 | |
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bastard
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| n.坏蛋，混蛋；私生子 | |
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trickled
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| v.滴( trickle的过去式和过去分词 )；淌；使)慢慢走；缓慢移动 | |
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belly
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| n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛 | |
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clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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fragrant
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| adj.芬香的，馥郁的，愉快的 | |
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succors
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| n.救助，帮助（尤指需要时）( succor的名词复数 )v.给予帮助( succor的第三人称单数 ) | |
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distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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swollen
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| adj.肿大的，水涨的；v.使变大，肿胀 | |
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glossy
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| adj.平滑的；有光泽的 | |
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ceramic
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| n.制陶业，陶器，陶瓷工艺 | |
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contractions
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| n.收缩( contraction的名词复数 )；缩减；缩略词；（分娩时）子宫收缩 | |
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millet
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| n.小米，谷子 | |
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slanted
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| 有偏见的； 倾斜的 | |
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veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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taut
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| adj.拉紧的，绷紧的，紧张的 | |
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fetus
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| n.胎，胎儿 | |
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chunk
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| n.厚片，大块，相当大的部分（数量） | |
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warty
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| adj.有疣的，似疣的；瘤状 | |
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toad
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| n.蟾蜍，癞蛤蟆 | |
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shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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demons
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| n.恶人( demon的名词复数 )；恶魔；精力过人的人；邪念 | |
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twitched
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| vt.& vi.（使）抽动，（使）颤动（twitch的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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26
bulged
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| 凸出( bulge的过去式和过去分词 )； 充满； 塞满（某物） | |
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pastor
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| n.牧师，牧人 | |
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rusty
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| adj.生锈的；锈色的；荒废了的 | |
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desolate
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| adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂 | |
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rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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peal
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| n.钟声；v.鸣响 | |
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32
gushed
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| v.喷，涌( gush的过去式和过去分词 )；滔滔不绝地说话 | |
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aroma
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| n.香气，芬芳，芳香 | |
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locust
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| n.蝗虫；洋槐，刺槐 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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knuckles
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| n.（指人）指关节( knuckle的名词复数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝v.（指人）指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝 | |
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racing
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| n.竞赛，赛马；adj.竞赛用的，赛马用的 | |
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39
thumped
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| v.重击， （指心脏）急速跳动( thump的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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40
thump
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| v.重击，砰然地响；n.重击，重击声 | |
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41
despondent
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| adj.失望的，沮丧的，泄气的 | |
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42
unripe
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| adj.未成熟的；n.未成熟 | |
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43
descend
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| vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降 | |
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44
thumping
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| adj.重大的，巨大的；重击的；尺码大的；极好的adv.极端地；非常地v.重击(thump的现在分词)；狠打；怦怦地跳；全力支持 | |
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45
glimmered
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| v.发闪光，发微光( glimmer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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46
wafted
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| v.吹送，飘送，（使）浮动( waft的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47
reverently
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| adv.虔诚地 | |
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48
suffused
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| v.（指颜色、水气等）弥漫于，布满( suffuse的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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49
deity
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| n.神，神性；被奉若神明的人(或物) | |
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50
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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