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The Beggar Maid
The Beggar Maid
Patrick Blatchford was in love with Rose. This had become a fixed1, even furious, idea with him.
For her, a continual surprise. He wanted to marry her. He waited for her after classes, moved inand walked beside her, so that anybody she was talking to would have to reckon with his presence.
He would not talk, when these friends or classmates of hers were around, but he would try to catchher eye, so that he could indicate by a cold incredulous look what he thought of their conversation.
Rose was flattered, but nervous. A girl named Nancy Falls, a friend of hers, mispronouncedMetternich in his presence. He said to her later, “How can you be friends with people like that?”
Nancy and Rose had gone and sold their blood together, at Victoria Hospital. They each gotfifteen dollars. They spent most of the money on evening shoes, tarty silver sandals. Then becausethey were sure the bloodletting had caused them to lose weight they had hot fudge sundaes atBoomers. Why was Rose unable to defend Nancy to Patrick?
Patrick was twenty-four years old, a graduate student, planning to be a history professor. Hewas tall, thin, fair, and good-looking, though he had a long pale-red birthmark, dribbling3 like a teardown his temple and his cheek. He apologized for it, but said it was fading, as he got older. Whenhe was forty, it would have faded away. It was not the birthmark that canceled out his good looks,Rose thought. (Something did cancel them out, or at least diminish them, for her; she had to keepreminding herself they were there.) There was something edgy4, jumpy, disconcerting, about him.
His voice would break under stress—with her, it seemed he was always under stress—he knockeddishes and cups off tables, spilled drinks and bowls of peanuts, like a comedian5. He was not acomedian; nothing could be further from his intentions. He came from British Columbia. Hisfamily was rich.
He arrived early to pick Rose up, when they were going to the movies. He wouldn’t knock, heknew he was early. He sat on the step outside Dr. Henshawe’s door. This was in the winter, it wasdark out, but there was a little coach lamp beside the door.
“Oh, Rose! Come and look!” called Dr. Henshawe, in her soft, amused voice, and they lookeddown together from the dark window of the study. “The poor young man,” said Dr. Henshawetenderly. Dr. Henshawe was in her seventies. She was a former English professor, fastidious andlively. She had a lame6 leg, but a still youthfully, charmingly tilted7 head, with white braids woundaround it.
She called Patrick poor because he was in love, and perhaps also because he was a male,doomed to push and blunder. Even from up here he looked stubborn and pitiable, determined8 anddependent, sitting out there in the cold.
“Guarding the door,” Dr. Henshawe said. “Oh, Rose!”
Another time she said disturbingly, “Oh, dear, I’m afraid he is after the wrong girl.”
Rose didn’t like her saying that. She didn’t like her laughing at Patrick. She didn’t like Patricksitting out on the steps that way, either. He was asking to be laughed at. He was the mostvulnerable person Rose had ever known, he made himself so, didn’t know anything aboutprotecting himself. But he was also full of cruel judgments9, he was full of conceit10.
“YOU ARE A SCHOLAR, Rose,” Dr. Henshawe would say. “This will interest you.” Then shewould read aloud something from the paper, or, more likely, something from Canadian Forum11 orThe Atlantic Monthly. Dr. Henshawe had at one time headed the city’s school board, she was afounding member of the C.C.F. She still sat on committees, wrote letters to the paper, reviewedbooks. Her father and mother had been medical missionaries12; she had been born in China. Herhouse was small and perfect. Polished floors, glowing rugs, Chinese vases, bowls and landscapes,black carved screens. Much that Rose could not appreciate, at the time. She could not reallydistinguish between the little jade13 animals on Dr. Henshawe’s mantelpiece, and the ornamentsdisplayed in the jewelry14 store window, in Hanratty, though she could now distinguish betweeneither of these and the things Flo bought from the five-and-ten.
She could not really decide how much she liked being at Dr. Henshawe’s. At times she feltdiscouraged, sitting in the dining room with a linen15 napkin on her knee, eating from fine whiteplates on blue placemats. For one thing, there was never enough to eat, and she had taken tobuying doughnuts and chocolate bars and hiding them in her room. The canary swung on its perchin the dining room window and Dr. Henshawe directed conversation. She talked about politics,about writers. She mentioned Frank Scott and Dorothy Livesay. She said Rose must read them.
Rose must read this, she must read that. Rose became sullenly16 determined not to. She was readingThomas Mann. She was reading Tolstoy.
Before she came to Dr. Henshawe’s, Rose had never heard of the working class. She took thedesignation home.
“This would have to be the last part of town where they put the sewers,” Flo said.
“Of course,” Rose said coolly. “This is the working-class part of town.”
“Working class?” said Flo. “Not if the ones around here can help it.” Dr. Henshawe’s house haddone one thing. It had destroyed the naturalness, the taken-for-granted background, of home. Togo back there was to go quite literally17 into a crude light. Flo had put fluorescent18 lights in the storeand the kitchen. There was also, in a corner of the kitchen, a floor lamp Flo had won at Bingo; itsshade was permanently19 wrapped in wide strips of cellophane. What Dr. Henshawe’s house andFlo’s house did best, in Rose’s opinion, was discredit20 each other. In Dr. Henshawe’s charmingrooms there was always for Rose the raw knowledge of home, an indigestible lump, and at home,now, her sense of order and modulation21 elsewhere exposed such embarrassing sad poverty, inpeople who never thought themselves poor. Poverty was not just wretchedness, as Dr. Henshaweseemed to think, it was not just deprivation22. It meant having those ugly tube lights and being proudof them. It meant continual talk of money and malicious23 talk about new things people had boughtand whether they were paid for. It meant pride and jealousy24 flaring25 over something like the newpair of plastic curtains, imitating lace, that Flo had bought for the front window. That as well ashanging your clothes on nails behind the door and being able to hear every sound from thebathroom. It meant decorating your walls with a number of admonitions, pious26 and cheerful andmildly bawdy27.
Why did Flo have those, when she wasn’t even religious? They were what people had, commonas calendars.
Billy Pope had brought that one. What would Patrick have to say about them? What wouldsomeone who was offended by a mispronunciation of Metternich think of Billy Pope’s stories?
Billy Pope worked in Tyde’s Butcher Shop. What he talked about most frequently now was theD.P., the Belgian, who had come to work there, and got on Billy Pope’s nerves with his impudentsinging of French songs and his naive28 notions of getting on in this country, buying a butcher shopof his own.
“Don’t you think you can come over here and get yourself ideas,” Billy Pope said to the D.P.
“It’s youse workin for us, and don’t think that’ll change into us workin for youse.” That shut himup, Billy Pope said.
Patrick would say from time to time that since her home was only fifty miles away he ought tocome up and meet Rose’s family.
“There’s only my stepmother.”
“It’s too bad I couldn’t have met your father.”
Rashly, she had presented her father to Patrick as a reader of history, an amateur scholar. Thatwas not exactly a lie, but it did not give a truthful29 picture of the circumstances.
“Is your stepmother your guardian30?”
Rose had to say she did not know.
“Well, your father must have appointed a guardian for you in his will. Who administers hisestate?”
His estate. Rose thought an estate was land, such as people owned in England.
Patrick thought it was rather charming of her to think that. “No, his money and stocks and soon. What he left.”
“I don’t think he left any.”
“Don’t be silly,” Patrick said.
AND SOMETIMES Dr. Henshawe would say, “Well, you are a scholar, you are not interested inthat.” Usually she was speaking of some event at the college; a pep rally, a football game, a dance.
And usually she was right; Rose was not interested. But she was not eager to admit it. She did notseek or relish31 that definition of herself.
On the stairway wall hung graduation photographs of all the other girls, scholarship girls, whohad lived with Dr. Henshawe. Most of them had got to be teachers, then mothers. One was adietician, two were librarians, one was a professor of English, like Dr. Henshawe herself. Rose didnot care for the look of them, for their soft-focused meekly32 smiling gratitude34, their large teeth andmaidenly rolls of hair. They seemed to be urging on her some deadly secular35 piety36. There were noactresses among them, no brassy magazine journalists; none of them had latched37 on to the sort oflife Rose wanted for herself. She wanted to perform in public. She thought she wanted to be anactress but she never tried to act, was afraid to go near the college drama productions. She knewshe couldn’t sing or dance. She would really have liked to play the harp38, but she had no ear formusic. She wanted to be known and envied, slim and clever. She told Dr. Henshawe that if shehad been a man she would have wanted to be a foreign correspondent.
“Then you must be one,” cried Dr. Henshawe alarmingly. “The future will be wide open, forwomen. You must concentrate on languages. You must take courses in political science. Andeconomics. Perhaps you could get a job on the paper for the summer. I have friends there.”
Rose was frightened at the idea of working on a paper, and she hated the introductoryeconomics course; she was looking for a way of dropping it. It was dangerous to mention things toDr. Henshawe.
SHE HAD GOT TO LIVE with Dr. Henshawe by accident. Another girl had been picked to movein, but she got sick; she had T.B., and went instead to a sanatorium. Dr. Henshawe came up to thecollege office on the second day of registration39 to get the names of some other scholarshipfreshmen.
Rose had been in the office just a little while before, asking where the meeting of thescholarship students was to be held. She had lost her notice. The Bursar was giving a talk to thenew scholarship students, telling them of ways to earn money and live cheaply and explaining thehigh standards of performance to be expected of them here, if they wanted their payments to keepcoming.
Rose found out the number of the room, and started up the stairs to the first floor. A girl cameup beside her and said, “Are you on your way to three-oh-twelve, too?”
They walked together, telling each other the details of their scholarships. Rose did not yet havea place to live, she was staying at the Y. She did not really have enough money to be here at all.
She had a scholarship for her tuition and the county prize to buy her books and a bursary of threehundred dollars to live on; that was all.
“You’ll have to get a job,” the other girl said. She had a larger bursary, because she was inScience (that’s where the money is, the money’s all in science, she said seriously), but she washoping to get a job in the cafeteria. She had a room in somebody’s basement. How much doesyour room cost, how much does a hot plate cost, Rose asked her, her head swimming with anxiouscalculations.
This girl wore her hair in a roll. She wore a crepe blouse, yellowed and shining from washingand ironing. Her breasts were large and sagging40. She probably wore a dirty-pink hooked-up-the-side brassiere. She had a scaly41 patch on one cheek.
“This must be it,” she said.
There was a little window in the door. They could look through at the other scholarship winnersalready assembled and waiting. It seemed to Rose that she saw four or five girls of the samestooped and matronly type as the girl who was beside her, and several bright-eyed, self-satisfiedbabyish-looking boys. It seemed to be the rule that girl scholarship winners looked about forty andboys about twelve. It was not possible, of course, that they all looked like this. It was not possiblethat in one glance through the window of the door Rose could detect traces of eczema, stainedunderarms, dandruff, moldy42 deposits on the teeth and crusty flakes43 in the corners of the eyes. Thatwas only what she thought. But there was a pall44 over them, she was not mistaken, there was a trueterrible pall of eagerness and docility45. How else could they have supplied so many right answers,so many pleasing answers, how else distinguished46 themselves and got themselves here? And Rosehad done the same.
“I have to go to the john,” she said.
She could see herself, working in the cafeteria. Her figure, broad enough already, broadened outstill more by the green cotton uniform, her face red and her hair stringy from the heat. Dishing upstew and fried chicken for those of inferior intelligence and handsomer means. Blocked off by thesteam tables, the uniform, by decent hard work that nobody need be ashamed of, by publiclyproclaimed braininess and poverty. Boys could get away with that, barely. For girls it was fatal.
Poverty in girls is not attractive unless combined with sweet sluttishness, stupidity. Braininess isnot attractive unless combined with some signs of elegance48; class. Was this true, and was shefoolish enough to care? It was; she was.
She went back to the first floor where the halls were crowded with ordinary students who werenot on scholarships, who would not be expected to get A’s and be grateful and live cheap.
Enviable and innocent, they milled around the registration tables in their new purple and whiteblazers, their purple Frosh beanies, yelling reminders49 to each other, confused information,nonsensical insults. She walked among them feeling bitterly superior and despondent50. The skirt ofher green corduroy suit kept falling back between her legs as she walked. The material was limp;she should have spent more and bought the heavier weight. She thought now that the jacket wasnot properly cut either, though it had looked all right at home. The whole outfit51 had been made bya dressmaker in Hanratty, a friend of Flo’s, whose main concern had been that there should be norevelations of the figure. When Rose asked if the skirt couldn’t be made tighter this woman hadsaid, “You wouldn’t want your b.t.m. to show, now would you?” and Rose hadn’t wanted to sayshe didn’t care.
Another thing the dressmaker said was, “I thought now you was through school you’d begetting52 a job and help out at home.”
A woman walking down the hail stopped Rose.
“Aren’t you one of the scholarship girls?”
It was the Registrar’s secretary. Rose thought she was going to be reprimanded, for not being atthe meeting, and she was going to say she felt sick. She prepared her face for this lie. But thesecretary said, “Come with me, now. I’ve got somebody I want you to meet.”
Dr. Henshawe was making a charming nuisance of herself in the office. She liked poor girls,bright girls, but they had to be fairly good-looking girls.
“I think this could be your lucky day,” the secretary said, leading Rose. “If you could put apleasanter expression on your face.”
Rose hated being told that, but she smiled obediently.
Within the hour she was taken home with Dr. Henshawe, installed in the house with the Chinesescreens and vases, and told she was a scholar.
SHE GOT A JOB working in the Library of the college, instead of in the cafeteria. Dr. Henshawewas a friend of the Head Librarian. She worked on Saturday afternoons. She worked in the stacks,putting books away. On Saturday afternoons in the fall the Library was nearly empty, because ofthe football games. The narrow windows were open to the leafy campus, the football field, the dryfall country. The distant songs and shouts came drifting in.
The college buildings were not old at all, but they were built to look old. They were built ofstone. The Arts building had a tower, and the Library had casement54 windows, which might havebeen designed for shooting arrows through. The buildings and the books in the Library were whatpleased Rose most about the place. The life that usually filled it, and that was now drained away,concentrated around the football field, letting loose those noises, seemed to her inappropriate anddistracting. The cheers and songs were idiotic55, if you listened to the words. What did they want tobuild such dignified56 buildings for, if they were going to sing songs like that?
She knew enough not to reveal these opinions. If anybody said to her, “It’s awful you have towork Saturdays and can’t get to any of the games,” she would fervently57 agree.
Once a man grabbed her bare leg, between her sock and her skirt. It happened in the Agriculturesection, down at the bottom of the stacks. Only the faculty58, graduate students, and employees hadaccess to the stacks, though someone could have hoisted59 himself through a ground-floor window,if he was skinny. She had seen a man crouched60 down looking at the books on a low shelf, furtheralong. As she reached up to push a book into place he passed behind her. He bent61 and grabbed herleg, all in one smooth startling motion, and then was gone. She could feel for quite a while wherehis fingers had dug in. It didn’t seem to her a sexual touch, it was more like a joke, though not atall a friendly one. She heard him run away, or felt him running; the metal shelves were vibrating.
Then they stopped. There was no sound of him. She walked around looking between the stacks,looking into the carrels. Suppose she did see him, or bumped into him around a corner, what didshe intend to do? She did not know. It was simply necessary to look for him, as in some tensechildish game. She looked down at the sturdy pinkish calf62 of her leg. Amazing, that out of the bluesomebody had wanted to blotch63 and punish it.
There were usually a few graduate students working in the carrels, even on Saturday afternoons.
More rarely, a professor. Every carrel she looked into was empty; until she came to the one in thecorner. She poked64 her head in freely, by this time not expecting anybody. Then she had to say shewas sorry.
There was a young man with a book on his lap, books on the floor, papers all around him. Roseasked him if he had seen anybody run past. He said no.
She told him what had happened. She didn’t tell him because she was frightened or disgusted,as he seemed afterwards to think, but just because she had to tell somebody; it was so odd. Shewas not prepared at all for his response. His long neck and face turned red, the flush entirelyabsorbing a birthmark down the side of his cheek. He was thin and fair. He stood up without anythought for the book in his lap or the papers in front of him. The book thumped66 on the floor. Agreat sheaf of papers, pushed across the desk, upset his ink bottle.
“How vile,” he said.
“Grab the ink,” Rose said. He leaned to catch the bottle and knocked it on to the floor.
Fortunately the top was on, and it did not break.
“Did he hurt you?”
“No, not really.”
“Come on upstairs. We’ll report it.”
“Oh, no.”
“He can’t get away with that. It shouldn’t be allowed.”
“There isn’t anybody to report to,” Rose said with relief. “The Librarian goes off at noon onSaturdays.”
“It’s disgusting,” he said in a high-pitched, excitable voice. Rose was sorry now that she hadtold him anything, and said she had to get back to work.
“Are you really all right?”
“Oh yes.”
“I’ll be right here. Just call me if he comes back.”
That was Patrick. If she had been trying to make him fall in love with her, there was no betterway she could have chosen. He had many chivalric67 notions, which he pretended to mock, bysaying certain words and phrases as if in quotation68 marks. The fair sex, he would say, and damselin distress69. Coming to his carrel with that story, Rose had turned herself into a damsel in distress.
The pretended irony70 would not fool anybody; it was clear that he did wish to operate in a world ofknights and ladies; outrages71; devotions.
She continued to see him in the Library, every Saturday, and often she met him walking acrossthe campus or in the cafeteria. He made a point of greeting her with courtesy and concern, saying,“How are you,” in a way that suggested she might have suffered a further attack, or might still berecovering from the first one. He always flushed deeply when he saw her, and she thought that thiswas because the memory of what she had told him so embarrassed him. Later she found out it wasbecause he was in love.
He discovered her name, and where she lived. He phoned her at Dr. Henshawe’s house andasked her to go to the movies. At first when he said, “This is Patrick Blatchford speaking.” Rosecould not think who it was, but after a moment she recognized the high, rather aggrieved72 andtremulous voice. She said she would go. This was partly because Dr. Henshawe was always sayingshe was glad Rose did not waste her time running around with boys.
Rather soon after she started to go out with him, she said to Patrick, “Wouldn’t it be funny if itwas you grabbed my leg that day in the Library?”
He did not think it would be funny. He was horrified73 that she would think such a thing.
She said she was only joking. She said she meant that it would be a good twist in a story; maybea Maugham story, or a Hitchcock movie. They had just been to see a Hitchcock movie.
“You know, if Hitchcock made a movie out of something like that, you could be a wildinsatiable leg- grabber with one half of your personality, and the other half could be a timidscholar.”
He didn’t like that either.
“Is that how I seem to you, a timid scholar?” It seemed to her he deepened his voice, introduceda few growling74 notes, drew in his chin, as if for a joke. But he seldom joked with her; he didn’tthink joking was suitable when you were in love.
“I didn’t say you were a timid scholar or a leg-grabber. It was just an idea.”
After a while he said, “I suppose I don’t seem very manly75.”
She was startled and irritated by such exposure. He took such chances; had nothing ever taughthim not to take such chances? But maybe he didn’t, after all. He knew she would have to saysomething reassuring76. Though she was longing77 not to, she longed to say judiciously78, “Well, no.
You don’t.”
But that would not actually be true. He did seem masculine to her. Because he took thosechances. Only a man could be so careless and demanding.
“We come from two different worlds,” she said to him, on another occasion. She felt like acharacter in a play, saying that. “My people are poor people. You would think the place I lived inwas a dump.”
Now she was the one who was being dishonest, pretending to throw herself on his mercy; for ofcourse she did not expect him to say, oh, well, if you come from poor people and live in a dump,then I will have to withdraw my offer.
“But I’m glad,” said Patrick. “I’m glad you’re poor. You’re so lovely. You’re like the BeggarMaid.”
“King Cophetua and the Beggar Maid. You know. The painting.
Don’t you know that painting?”
Patrick had a trick—no, it was not a trick, Patrick had no tricks— Patrick had a way ofexpressing surprise, fairly scornful surprise, when people did not know something he knew, andsimilar scorn, similar surprise, whenever they had bothered to know something he did not. Hisarrogance and humility80 were both oddly exaggerated. The arrogance79, Rose decided81 in time, mustcome from being rich, though Patrick was never arrogant82 about that in itself. His sisters, when shemet them, turned out to be the same way, disgusted with anybody who did not know about horsesor sailing, and just as disgusted by anybody knowing about music, say, or politics. Patrick andthey could do little together but radiate disgust. But wasn’t Billy Pope as bad, wasn’t Flo as bad,when it came to arrogance? Maybe. There was a difference, though, and the difference was thatBilly Pope and Flo were not protected. Things could get at them: D.P.’s; people speaking Frenchon the radio; changes. Patrick and his sisters behaved as if things could never get at them. Theirvoices, when they quarreled at the table, were astonishingly childish; their demands for food theyliked, their petulance83 at seeing anything on the table they didn’t like, were those of children. Theyhad never had to defer84 and polish themselves and win favor in the world, they never would haveto, and that was because they were rich.
Rose had no idea at the beginning, how rich Patrick was. Nobody believed that. Everybodybelieved she had been calculating and clever, and she was so far from clever, in that way, that shereally did not mind if they believed it. It turned out that other girls had been trying, and had notstruck, as she had, the necessary note. Older girls, sorority girls, who had never noticed her before,began to look at her with puzzlement and respect. Even Dr. Henshawe, when she saw that thingswere more serious than she had supposed, and settled Rose down to have a talk about it, assumedthat she would have an eye on the money.
“It is no small triumph to attract the attentions of the heir to a mercantile empire,” said Dr.
Henshawe, being ironic85 and serious at the same time. “I don’t despise wealth,” she said.
“Sometimes I wish I had some of it.” (Did she really suppose she had not?) “I am sure you willlearn how to put it to good uses. But what about your ambitions, Rose? What about your studiesand your degree? Are you going to forget all that so soon?”
Mercantile Empire was a rather grand way of putting it. Patrick’s family owned a chain ofdepartment stores in British Columbia. All Patrick had said to Rose was that his father ownedsome stores. When she said two different worlds to him she was thinking that he probably lived insome substantial house like the houses in Dr. Henshawe’s neighborhood. She was thinking of themost prosperous merchants in Hanratty. She could not realize what a coup86 she had made becauseit would have been a coup for her if the butcher’s son had fallen for her, or the jeweler’s; peoplewould say she had done well.
She had a look at that painting. She looked it up in an art book in the Library. She studied theBeggar Maid, meek33 and voluptuous87, with her shy white feet. The milky88 surrender of her, thehelplessness and gratitude. Was that how Patrick saw Rose? Was that how she could be? Shewould need that king, sharp and swarthy as he looked, even in his trance of passion, clever andbarbaric. He could make a puddle89 of her, with his fierce desire. There would be no apologizingwith him, none of that flinching91, that lack of faith, that seemed to be revealed in all transactionswith Patrick.
She could not turn Patrick down. She could not do it. It was not the amount of money but theamount of love he offered that she could not ignore; she believed that she felt sorry for him, thatshe had to help him out. It was as if he had come up to her in a crowd carrying a large, simple,dazzling object—a huge egg, maybe, of solid silver, something of doubtful use and punishingweight—and was offering it to her, in fact thrusting it at her, begging her to take some of theweight of it off him. If she thrust it back, how could he bear it? But that explanation left somethingout. It left out her own appetite, which was not for wealth but for worship. The size, the weight,the shine, of what he said was love (and she did not doubt him) had to impress her, even thoughshe had never asked for it. It did not seem likely such an offering would come her way again.
Patrick himself, though worshipful, did in some oblique92 way acknowledge her luck.
She had always thought this would happen, that somebody would look at her and love hertotally and helplessly. At the same time she had thought that nobody would, nobody would wanther at all, and up until now, nobody had. What made you wanted was nothing you did, it wassomething you had, and how could you ever tell whether you had it? She would look at herself inthe glass and think: wife, sweetheart. Those mild lovely words. How could they apply to her? Itwas a miracle; it was a mistake. It was what she had dreamed of; it was not what she wanted.
She grew very tired, irritable93, sleepless94. She tried to think admiringly of Patrick. His lean, fair-skinned face was really very handsome. He must know a number of things. He graded papers,presided at examinations, he was finishing his thesis. There was a smell of pipe tobacco and roughwool about him, that she liked. He was twenty-four. No other girl she knew, who had a boyfriend,had one as old as that.
Then without warning she thought of him saying, “I suppose I don’t seem very manly.” Shethought of him saying, “Do you love me? Do you really love me?” He would look at her in ascared and threatening way. Then when she said yes he said how lucky he was, how lucky theywere, he mentioned friends of his and their girls, comparing their love affairs unfavorably to hisand Rose’s. Rose would shiver with irritation95 and misery96. She was sick of herself as much as him,she was sick of the picture they made at this moment, walking across a snowy downtown park, herbare hand snuggled in Patrick’s, in his pocket. Some outrageous97 and cruel things were beingshouted, inside her. She had to do something, to keep them from getting out. She started ticklingand teasing him.
Outside Dr. Henshawe’s back door, in the snow, she kissed him, tried to make him open hismouth, she did scandalous things to him. When he kissed her his lips were soft; his tongue wasshy; he collapsed98 over rather than held her, she could not find any force in him.
“You’re lovely. You have lovely skin. Such fair eyebrows99. You’re so delicate.”
She was pleased to hear that, anybody would be. But she said warningly, “I’m not so delicate,really. I’m quite large.”
“You don’t know how I love you. There’s a book I have called The White Goddess. Every timeI look at the tide it reminds me of you.”
She wriggled100 away from him. She bent down and got a handful of snow from the drift by thesteps and clapped it on his head.
“My White God.”
He shook the snow out. She scooped101 up some more and threw it at him. He didn’t laugh, he wassurprised and alarmed. She brushed the snow off his eyebrows and licked it off his ears. She waslaughing, though she felt desperate rather than merry. She didn’t know what made her do this.
“Dr. Hen-shawe,” Patrick hissed102 at her. The tender poetic103 voice he used for rhapsodizing abouther could entirely65 disappear, could change to remonstrance104, exasperation105, with no steps at allbetween.
“Dr. Henshawe will hear you!”
“Dr. Henshawe says you are an honorable young man,” Rose said dreamily. “I think she’s inlove with you.” It was true; Dr. Henshawe had said that. And it was true that he was. He couldn’tbear the way Rose was talking. She blew at the snow in his hair. “Why don’t you go in anddeflower her? I’m sure she’s a virgin106. That’s her window. Why don’t you?” She rubbed his hair,then slipped her hand inside his overcoat and rubbed the front of his pants. “You’re hard!” shesaid triumphantly107. “Oh, Patrick! You’ve got a hard-on for Dr. Henshawe!” She had never saidanything like this before, never come near behaving like this.
“Shut up!” said Patrick, tormented108. But she couldn’t. She raised her head and in a loud whisperpretended to call towards an upstairs window, “Dr. Henshawe! Come and see what Patrick’s gotfor you!” Her bullying109 hand went for his fly.
To stop her, to keep her quiet, Patrick had to struggle with her. He got a hand over her mouth,with the other hand beating her away from his zipper110. The big loose sleeves of his overcoat beat ather like floppy111 wings. As soon as he started to fight she was relieved—that was what she wantedfrom him, some sort of action. But she had to keep resisting, until he really proved himselfstronger. She was afraid he might not be able to.
But he was. He forced her down, down, to her knees, face down in the snow. He pulled herarms back and rubbed her face in the snow. Then he let her go, and almost spoiled it.
“Are you all right? Are you? I’m sorry. Rose?”
She staggered up and shoved her snowy face into his. He backed off.
“Kiss me! Kiss the snow! I love you!”
“Do you?” he said plaintively112, and brushed the snow from a corner of her mouth and kissed her,with understandable bewilderment. “Do you?”
Then the light came on, flooding them and the trampled113 snow, and Dr. Henshawe was callingover their heads.
“Rose! Rose!”
She called in a patient, encouraging voice, as if Rose was lost in a fog nearby, and neededdirecting home.
“DO YOU LOVE HIM, Rose?” said Dr. Henshawe. “Now, think about it. Do you?” Her voicewas full of doubt and seriousness. Rose took a deep breath and answered as it filled with calmemotion, “Yes, I do.”
“Well, then.”
In the middle of the night Rose woke up and ate chocolate bars.
She craved114 sweets. Often in class or in the middle of a movie she started thinking about fudgecupcakes, brownies, some kind of cake Dr. Henshawe bought at the European Bakery; it was filledwith dollops of rich bitter chocolate, that ran out on the plate. Whenever she tried to think aboutherself and Patrick, whenever she made up her mind to decide what she really felt, these cravingsintervened.
She was putting on weight, and had developed a nest of pimples115 between her eyebrows.
Her bedroom was cold, being over the garage, with windows on three sides. Otherwise it waspleasant. Over the bed hung framed photographs of Greek skies and ruins, taken by Dr. Henshaweherself on her Mediterranean116 trip.
She was writing an essay on Yeats’s plays. In one of the plays a young bride is lured117 away bythe fairies from her sensible unbearable118 marriage.
“Come away, oh, human child …” Rose read, and her eyes filled up with tears for herself, as ifshe was that shy elusive119 virgin, too fine for the bewildered peasants who have entrapped120 her. Inactual fact she was the peasant, shocking high-minded Patrick, but he did not look for escape.
She took down one of those Greek photographs and defaced the wallpaper, writing the start of apoem which had come to her while she ate chocolate bars in bed and the wind from Gibbons Parkbanged at the garage walls.
Heedless in my dark womb
I bear a madman’s child....
She never wrote any more of it, and wondered sometimes if she had meant headless. She nevertried to rub it out, either.
PATRICK SHARED an apartment with two other graduate students. He lived plainly, did not owna car or belong to a fraternity. His clothes had an ordinary academic shabbiness. His friends werethe sons of teachers and ministers. He said his father had all but disowned him, for becoming anintellectual. He said he would never go back into business.
They came back to the apartment in the early afternoon when they knew both the other studentswould be out. The apartment was cold. They undressed quickly and got into Patrick’s bed. Nowwas the time. They clung together, shivering and giggling121. Rose was doing the giggling. She felt aneed to be continually playful. She was terrified that they would not manage it, that there was agreat humiliation122 in store, a great exposure of their poor deceits and stratagems123. But the deceitsand stratagems were only hers. Patrick was never a fraud; he managed, in spite of giganticembarrassment, apologies; he passed through some amazed pantings and flounderings, to peace.
Rose was no help, presenting instead of an honest passivity much twisting and flutteringeagerness, unpracticed counterfeit125 of passion. She was pleased when it was accomplished126; she didnot have to counterfeit that. They had done what others did, they had done what lovers did. Shethought of celebration. What occurred to her was something delicious to eat, a sundae at Boomers,apple pie with hot cinnamon sauce. She was not at all prepared for Patrick’s idea, which was tostay where they were and try again.
When pleasure presented itself, the fifth or sixth time they were together, she was thrown out ofgear entirely, her passionate127 carrying-on was silenced.
Patrick said, “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing!” Rose said, turning herself radiant and attentive128 once more. But she kept forgetting,the new developments interfered129, and she had finally to give in to that struggle, more or lessignoring Patrick. When she could take note of him again she overwhelmed him with gratitude; shewas really grateful now, and she wanted to be forgiven, though she could not say so, for all herpretended gratitude, her patronizing, her doubts.
Why should she doubt so much, she thought, lying comfortably in the bed while Patrick went tomake some instant coffee. Might it not be possible, to feel as she pretended? If this sexual surprisewas possible, wasn’t anything? Patrick was not much help; his chivalry130 and self-abasement, nextdoor to his scoldings, did discourage her. But wasn’t the real fault hers? Her conviction thatanyone who could fall in love with her must be hopelessly lacking, must finally be revealed as afool? So she took note of anything that was foolish about Patrick, even though she thought shewas looking for things that were masterful, admirable. At this moment, in his bed, in his room,surrounded by his books and clothes, his shoe brushes and typewriter, some tacked-up cartoons—she sat up in bed to look at them, and they really were quite funny, he must allow things to befunny when she was not here—she could see him as a likable, intelligent, even humorous person;no hero; no fool. Perhaps they could be ordinary. If only, when he came back in, he would notstart thanking and fondling and worshiping her. She didn’t like worship, really; it was only theidea of it she liked. On the other hand, she didn’t like it when he started to correct and criticizeher. There was much he planned to change.
Patrick loved her. What did he love? Not her accent, which he was trying hard to alter, thoughshe was often mutinous131 and unreasonable132, declaring in the face of all evidence that she did nothave a country accent, everybody talked the way she did. Not her jittery133 sexual boldness (his reliefat her virginity matched hers at his competence). She could make him flinch90 at a vulgar word, adrawling tone. All the time, moving and speaking, she was destroying herself for him, yet helooked right through her, through all the distractions134 she was creating, and loved some obedientimage that she herself could not see. And his hopes were high. Her accent could be eliminated, herfriends could be discredited135 and removed, her vulgarity could be discouraged.
What about all the rest of her? Energy, laziness, vanity, discontent, ambition? She concealed137 allthat. He had no idea. For all her doubts about him, she never wanted him to fall out of love withher.
They made two trips.
They went to British Columbia, on the train, during the Easter holidays. His parents sent Patrickmoney for his ticket. He paid for Rose, using up what he had in the bank and borrowing from oneof his roommates. He told her not to reveal to his parents that she had not paid for her own ticket.
She saw that he meant to conceal136 that she was poor. He knew nothing about women’s clothes, orhe would not have thought that possible. Though she had done the best she could. She hadborrowed Dr. Henshawe’s raincoat for the coastal138 weather. It was a bit long, but otherwise allright, due to Dr. Henshawe’s classically youthful tastes. She had sold more blood and bought afuzzy angora sweater, peach-colored, which was extremely messy and looked like a small-towngirl’s idea of dressing139 up. She always realized things like that as soon as a purchase was made, notbefore.
Patrick’s parents lived on Vancouver Island, near Sidney. About half an acre of clipped greenlawn—green in the middle of winter; March seemed like the middle of winter to Rose—slopeddown to a stone wall and a narrow pebbly140 beach and salt water. The house was half stone, halfstucco-and-timber. It was built in the Tudor style, and others. The windows of the living room, thedining room, the den2, all faced the sea, and because of the strong winds that sometimes blewonshore, they were made of thick glass, plate- glass Rose supposed, like the windows of theautomobile showroom in Hanratty. The seaward wall of the dining room was all windows, curvingout in a gentle bay; you looked through the thick curved glass as through the bottom of a bottle.
The sideboard too had a curving, gleaming belly141, and seemed as big as a boat. Size was noticeableeverywhere and particularly thickness. Thickness of towels and rugs and handles of knives andforks, and silences. There was a terrible amount of luxury and unease. After a day or so there Rosebecame so discouraged that her wrists and ankles felt weak. Picking up her knife and fork was achore; cutting and chewing the perfect roast beef was almost beyond her; she got short of breathclimbing the stairs. She had never known before how some places could choke you off, choke offyour very life. She had not known this in spite of a number of very unfriendly places she had beenin.
The first morning, Patrick’s mother took her for a walk in the grounds, pointing out thegreenhouse, the cottage where “the couple” lived: a charming, ivied, shuttered cottage, bigger thanDr. Henshawe’s house. The couple, the servants, were more gently spoken, more discreet143 anddignified, than anyone Rose could think of in Hanratty, and indeed they were superior in theseways to Patrick’s family.
Patrick’s mother showed her the rose garden, the kitchen garden. There were many low stonewalls.
“Patrick built them,” said his mother. She explained anything with an indifference144 that borderedon distaste. “He built all these walls.”
Rose’s voice came out full of false assurance, eager and inappropriately enthusiastic.
“He must be a true Scot,” she said. Patrick was a Scot, in spite of his name. The Blatchfords hadcome from Glasgow. “Weren’t the best stonemasons always Scotsmen?” (She had learned quiterecently not to say “Scotch.”) “Maybe he had stonemason ancestors.”
She cringed afterwards, thinking of these efforts, the pretense145 of ease and gaiety, as cheap andimitative as her clothes.
“No,” said Patrick’s mother. “No. I don’t think they were stonema-sons.” Something like fogwent out from her: affront146, disapproval147, dismay. Rose thought that perhaps she had been offendedby the suggestion that her husband’s family might have worked with their hands. When she got toknow her better — or had observed her longer; it was impossible to get to know her — sheunderstood that Patrick’s mother disliked anything fanciful, speculative148, abstract, in conversation.
She would also, of course, dislike Rose’s chatty tone. Any interest beyond the factualconsideration of the matter at hand—food, weather, invitations, furniture, servants—seemed to hersloppy, ill-bred, and dangerous. It was all right to say, “This is a warm day,” but not, “This dayreminds me of when we used to—” She hated people being reminded.
She was the only child of one of the early lumber149 barons150 of Vancouver Island. She had beenborn in a vanished northern settlement. But whenever Patrick tried to get her to talk about the past,whenever he asked her for the simplest sort of information— what steamers went up the coast,what year was the settlement abandoned, what was the route of the first logging railway—shewould say irritably151, “I don’t know. How would I know about that?” This irritation was thestrongest note that ever got into her words.
Neither did Patrick’s father care for this concern about the past. Many things, most things, aboutPatrick, seemed to strike him as bad signs.
“What do you want to know all that for?” he shouted down the table. He was a short square-shouldered man, red-faced, astonishingly belligerent152. Patrick looked like his mother, who was tall,fair, and elegant in the most muted way possible, as if her clothes, her makeup153, her style, werechosen with an ideal neutrality in mind.
“Because I am interested in history,” said Patrick in an angry, pompous154, but nervously155 breakingvoice.
“Because-I-am-interested-in-history” said his sister Marion in an immediate156 parody157, break andall. “History!”
The sisters Joan and Marion were younger than Patrick, older than Rose. Unlike Patrick theyshowed no nervousness, no cracks in self-satisfaction. At an earlier meal they had questionedRose.
“Do you ride?”
“Do you sail?”
“Play tennis? Play golf? Play badminton?”
“No. No. No.”
“Perhaps she is an intellectual genius, like Patrick,” the father said.
And Patrick, to Rose’s horror and embarrassment124, began to shout at the table in general anaccount of her scholarships and prizes. What did he hope for? Was he so witless as to think suchbragging would subdue160 them, would bring out anything but further scorn? Against Patrick, againsthis shouting boasts, his contempt for sports and television, his so-called intellectual interests, thefamily seemed united. But this alliance was only temporary. The father’s dislike of his daughterswas minor161 only in comparison with his dislike of Patrick. He railed at them too, when he couldspare a moment; he jeered162 at the amount of time they spent at their games, complained about thecost of their equipment, their boats, their horses. And they wrangled163 with each other, on obscurequestions of scores and borrowings and damages. All complained to the mother about the food,which was plentiful164 and delicious. The mother spoke142 as little as possible to anyone and to tell thetruth Rose did not blame her. She had never imagined so much true malevolence165 collected in oneplace. Billy Pope was a bigot and a grumbler166, Flo was capricious, unjust, and gossipy, her father,when he was alive, had been capable of cold judgments and unremitting disapproval; butcompared to Patrick’s family, all Rose’s own people seemed jovial167 and content.
“Are they always like this?” she said to Patrick. “Is it me? They don’t like me.”
“They don’t like you because I chose you,” said Patrick with some satisfaction.
They lay on the stony168 beach after dark, in their raincoats, hugged and kissed and uncomfortably,unsuccessfully, attempted more. Rose got seaweed stains on Dr. Henshawe’s coat. Patrick said,“You see why I need you? I need you so much!”
SHE TOOK HIM to Hanratty. It was just as bad as she had thought it would be. Flo had gone togreat trouble, and cooked a meal of scalloped potatoes, turnips169, big country sausages which were aspecial present from Billy Pope, from the butcher shop. Patrick detested170 coarse-textured food, andmade no pretense of eating it. The table was spread with a plastic cloth, they ate under the tube offluorescent light. The centerpiece was new and especially for the occasion. A plastic swan, limegreen in color, with slits171 in the wings, in which were stuck folded, colored paper napkins. BillyPope, reminded to take one, grunted172, refused. Otherwise he was on dismally173 good behavior. Wordhad reached him, word had reached both of them, of Rose’s triumph. It had come from theirsuperiors in Hanratty; otherwise they could not have believed it. Customers in the butcher shop—formidable ladies, the dentist’s wife, the veterinarian’s wife— had said to Billy Pope that theyheard Rose had picked herself up a millionaire. Rose knew Billy Pope would go back to worktomorrow with stories of the millionaire, or millionaire’s son, and that all these stories wouldfocus on his—Billy Pope’s—forthright and unintimi-dated behavior in the situation.
“We just set him down and give him some sausages, don’t make no difference to us what hecomes from!”
She knew Flo would have her comments too, that Patrick’s nervousness would not escape her,that she would be able to mimic175 his voice and his flapping hands that had knocked over theketchup bottle. But at present they both sat hunched176 over the table in miserable177 eclipse. Rose triedto start some conversation, talking brightly, unnaturally179, rather as if she was an interviewer tryingto draw out a couple of simple local people. She felt ashamed on more levels than she could count.
She was ashamed of the food and the swan and the plastic tablecloth180; ashamed for Patrick, thegloomy snob181, who made a startled grimace182 when Flo passed him the toothpick-holder; ashamedfor Flo with her timidity and hypocrisy183 and pretensions184; most of all ashamed for herself. Shedidn’t even have any way that she could talk, and sound natural. With Patrick there, she couldn’tslip back into an accent closer to Flo’s, Billy Pope’s and Hanratty’s. That accent jarred on her earsnow, anyway. It seemed to involve not just a different pronunciation but a whole differentapproach to talking. Talking was shouting; the words were separated and emphasized so thatpeople could bombard each other with them. And the things people said were like lines from themost hackneyed rural comedy. Wal if a feller took a notion to, they said. They really said that.
Seeing them through Patrick’s eyes, hearing them through his ears, Rose too had to be amazed.
She was trying to get them to talk about local history, some things she thought Patrick might beinterested in. Presently Flo did begin to talk, she could only be held in so long, whatever hermisgivings. The conversation took another line from anything Rose had intended.
“The line I lived on when I was just young,” Flo said, “it was the worst place ever created forsuiciding.”
“A line is a concession185 road. In the township,” Rose said to Patrick. She had doubts about whatwas coming, and rightly so, for then Patrick got to hear about a man who cut his own throat, hisown throat, from ear to ear, a man who shot himself the first time and didn’t do enough damage,so he loaded up and fired again and managed it, another man who hanged himself using a chain,the kind of chain you hook on a tractor with, so it was a wonder his head was not torn off.
Tore off, Flo said.
She went on to a woman who, though not a suicide, had been dead in her house a week beforeshe was found, and that was in the summer. She asked Patrick to imagine it. All this happened,said Flo, within five miles of where she herself was born. She was presenting credentials186, nottrying to horrify187 Patrick, at least not more than was acceptable, in a social way; she did not meanto disconcert him. How could he understand that?
“You were right,” said Patrick, as they left Hanratty on the bus. “It is a dump. You must be gladto get away.”
Rose felt immediately that he should not have said that.
“Of course that’s not your real mother,” Patrick said. “Your real parents can’t have been likethat.” Rose did not like his saying that either, though it was what she believed, herself. She sawthat he was trying to provide for her a more genteel background, perhaps something like thehomes of his poor friends: a few books about, a tea tray, and mended linen, worn good taste;proud, tired, educated people. What a coward he was, she thought angrily, but she knew that sheherself was the coward, not knowing any way to be comfortable with her own people or thekitchen or any of it. Years later she would learn how to use it, she would be able to amuse orintimidate right-thinking people at dinner parties with glimpses of her early home. At the momentshe felt confusion, misery.
Nevertheless her loyalty188 was starting. Now that she was sure of getting away, a layer of loyaltyand protectiveness was hardening around every memory she had, around the store and the town,the flat, somewhat scrubby, unremarkable countryside. She would oppose this secretly to Patrick’sviews of mountains and ocean, his stone and timbered mansion189. Her allegiances were far moreproud and stubborn than his.
But it turned out he was not leaving anything behind.
PATRICK GAVE HER a diamond ring and announced that he was giving up being a historian forher sake. He was going into his father’s business.
She said she thought he hated his father’s business. He said that he could not afford to take suchan attitude now that he would have a wife to support.
It seemed that Patrick’s desire to marry even to marry Rose, had been taken by his father as asign of sanity190. Great streaks191 of bounty192 were mixed in with all the ill will in that family. His fatherat once offered a job in one of the stores, offered to buy them a house. Patrick was as incapable193 ofturning down this offer as Rose was of turning down Patrick’s, and his reasons were as littlemercenary as hers.
“Will we have a house like your parents?” Rose said. She really thought it might be necessary tostart off in that style.
“Well, maybe not at first. Not quite so—”
“I don’t want a house like that! I don’t want to live like that!” “We’ll live however you like.
We’ll have whatever kind of house you like.”
Provided it’s not a dump, she thought nastily.
Girls she hardly knew stopped and asked to see her ring, admired it, wished her happiness.
When she went back to Hanratty for a weekend, alone this time, thank God, she met the dentist’swife on the main street.
“Oh, Rose, isn’t it wonderful! When are you coming back again? We’re going to give a tea foryou, the ladies in town all want to give a tea for you!”
This woman had never spoken to Rose, never given any sign before of knowing who she was.
Paths were opening now, barriers were softening194. And Rose—oh, this was the worst, this was theshame of it—Rose, instead of cutting the dentist’s wife, was blushing and skittishly195 flashing herdiamond and saying yes, that would be a lovely idea. When people said how happy she must beshe did think herself happy. It was as simple as that. She dimpled and sparkled and turned herselfinto a fiancée with no trouble at all. Where will you live, people said and she said oh, in BritishColumbia! That added more magic to the tale. Is it really beautiful there, they said, is it neverwinter?
“Oh, yes!” cried Rose, “Oh, no!”
SHE WOKE UP EARLY, got up and dressed and let herself out of the side door of Dr.
Henshawe’s garage. It was too early for the buses to be running. She walked through the city toPatrick’s apartment. She walked across the park. Around the South African War Memorial a pairof greyhounds were leaping and playing, an old woman standing196 by, holding their leashes197. Thesun was just up, shining on their pale hides. The grass was wet. Daffodils and narcisus in bloom.
Patrick came to the door, tousled, frowning sleepily, in his gray and maroon198 striped pajamas199.
“Rose! What’s the matter?”
She couldn’t say anything. He pulled her into the apartment. She put her arms around him andhid her face against his chest and in a stagey voice said, “Please Patrick. Please let me not marryyou.”
“Are you sick? What’s the matter?”
“Please let me not marry you,” she said again, with even less conviction.
“You’re crazy.”
She didn’t blame him for thinking so. Her voice sounded so unnatural178, wheedling200, silly. As soonas he opened the door and she faced the fact of him, his sleepy eyes, his pajamas, she saw thatwhat she had come to do was enormous, impossible. She would have to explain everything to him,and of course she could not do it. She could not make him see her necessity. She could not findany tone of voice, any expression of the face, that would serve her.
“Are you upset?” said Patrick. “What’s happened?”
“How did you get here anyway?”
She had been fighting back a need to go to the bathroom. It seemed that if she went to thebathroom she would destroy some of the strength of her case. But she had to. She freed herself.
She said, “Wait a minute, I’m going to the john.”
When she came out Patrick had the electric kettle going, was measuring out instant coffee. Helooked decent and bewildered.
“I’m not really awake,” he said. “Now. Sit down. First of all, are you premenstrual?”
“No.” But she realized with dismay that she was, and that he might be able to figure it out,because they had been worried last month.
“Well, if you’re not premenstrual, and nothing’s happened to upset you, then what is all thisabout?”
“I don’t want to get married,” she said, backing away from the cruelty of I don’t want to marryyou.
“When did you come to this decision?” “Long ago. This morning.”
They were talking in whispers. Rose looked at the clock. It was a little after seven.
“When do the others get up?”
“About eight.”
“Is there milk for the coffee?” She went to the refrigerator. “Quiet with the door,” said Patrick,too late.
“I’m sorry,” she said, in her strange silly voice.
“We went for a walk last night and everything was fine. You come this morning and tell me youdon’t want to get married. Why don’t you want to get married?”
“I just don’t. I don’t want to be married.”
“What else do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.”
Patrick kept staring at her sternly, drinking his coffee. He who used to plead with her do youlove me, do you really, did not bring the subject up now.
“Well I know.”
“I know who’s been talking to you.”
“Nobody has been talking to me.”
“Oh, no. Well, I bet. Dr. Henshawe has.”
“Some people don’t have a very high opinion of her. They think she has an influence on girls.
She doesn’t like the girls who live with her to have boyfriends. Does she? You even told me that.
She doesn’t like them to be normal.”
“That’s not it.”
“What did she say to you, Rose?”
“She didn’t say anything.” Rose began to cry.
“Are you sure?”
“Oh, Patrick, listen, please, I can’t marry you, please, I don’t know why, I can’t, please, I’msorry, believe me, I can’t,” Rose babbled201 at him, weeping, and Patrick saying, “Ssh! You’ll wakethem up!” lifted or dragged her out of the kitchen chair and took her to his room, where she sat onthe bed. He shut the door. She held her arms across her stomach, and rocked back and forth174.
“What is it Rose? What’s the matter? Are you sick!”
“It’s just so hard to tell you!”
“Tell me what?”
“What I just did tell you.”
“I mean have you found out you have T.B. or something?” “No!”
“Is there something in your family you haven’t told me about?
Insanity202?” said Patrick encouragingly.
“No!” Rose rocked and wept.
“So what is it?”
“I don’t love you!” she said. “I don’t love you. I don’t love you.” She fell on the bed and put herhead in the pillow. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t help it.”
After a moment or two Patrick said, “Well. If you don’t love me you don’t love me. I’m notforcing you to.” His voice sounded strained and spiteful, against the reasonableness of what hewas saying. “I just wonder,” he said, “if you know what you do want. I don’t think you do. I don’tthink you have any idea what you want. You’re just in a state.”
“I don’t have to know what I want to know what I don’t want!” Rose said, turning over. Thisreleased her. “I never loved you.”
“Ssh. You’ll wake them. We have to stop.”
“I never loved you. I never wanted to. It was a mistake.”
“All right. All right. You made your point.”
Patrick’s face was so white the birthmark stood out like a cut, and that only made her eager tocontinue.
“Why am I supposed to love you? Why do you act as if there was something wrong with me if Ididn’t? You despise me. You despise my family and my background and you think you are doingme a great favor—”
“I fell in love with you,” Patrick said. “I don’t despise you. Oh, Rose. I worship you.”
“You’re a sissy,” Rose said. “You’re a prude.” She jumped off the bed with great pleasure asshe said this. She felt full of energy. More was coming. Terrible things were coming.
“You don’t even know how to make love right. I always wanted to get out of this from the veryfirst. I felt sorry for you. You won’t look where you’re going, you’re always knocking things over,just because you can’t be bothered, you can’t be bothered noticing anything, you’re so wrapped upin yourself, and you’re always bragging159, it’s so stupid, you don’t even know how to brag158 right, ifyou really want to impress people you’ll never do it, the way you do it all they do is laugh at you!”
Patrick sat on the bed and looked up at her, his face open to whatever she would say. Shewanted to beat and beat him, to say worse and worse, uglier and crueller, things. She took a breath,drew in air, to stop the things she felt rising in her from getting out.
“I don’t want to see you, ever!” she said viciously. But at the door she turned and said in anormal and regretful voice, “Good-bye.”
PATRICK WROTE HER A NOTE: “I don’t understand what happened the other day and I wantto talk to you about it. But I think we should wait for two weeks and not see or talk to each otherand find out how we feel at the end of that time.”
Rose had forgotten all about giving him back his ring. When she came out of his apartmentbuilding that morning she was still wearing it. She couldn’t go back, and it seemed too valuable tosend through the mail. She continued to wear it, mostly because she did not want to have to tellDr. Henshawe what had happened. She was relieved to get Patrick’s note. She thought that shecould give him back the ring then.
She thought about what Patrick had said about Dr. Henshawe. No doubt there was some truth inthat, else why should she be so reluctant to tell Dr. Henshawe she had broken her engagement—sounwilling to face her sensible approval, her restrained, relieved congratulations?
She told Dr. Henshawe that she was not seeing Patrick while she studied for her exams. Rosecould see that even that pleased her.
She told no one that her situation had changed. It was not just Dr. Henshawe she didn’t wantknowing. She didn’t like giving up being envied; the experience was so new to her.
She tried to think what to do next. She could not stay on at Dr. Henshawe’s. It seemed clear thatif she escaped from Patrick, she must escape from Dr. Henshawe too. And she did not want to stayon at the college, with people knowing about her broken engagement, with the girls who nowcongratulated her saying they had known all along it was a fluke, her getting Patrick. She wouldhave to get a job.
The Head Librarian had offered her a job for the summer but that was perhaps at Dr.
Henshawe’s suggestion. Once she moved out, the offer might not hold. She knew that instead ofstudying for her exams she ought to be downtown, applying for work as a filing clerk at theinsurance offices, applying at Bell Telephone, at the department stores. The idea frightened her.
She kept on studying. That was the one thing she really knew how to do. She was a scholarshipstudent after all.
On Saturday afternoon, when she was working at the Library, she saw Patrick. She did not seehim by accident. She went down to the bottom floor, trying not to make a noise on the spiralingmetal staircase. There was a place in the stacks where she could stand, almost in darkness, and seeinto his carrel. She did that. She couldn’t see his face. She saw his long pink neck and the old plaidshirt he wore on Saturdays. His long neck. His bony shoulders. She was no longer irritated by him,no longer frightened by him; she was free. She could look at him as she would look at anybody.
She could appreciate him. He had behaved well. He had not tried to rouse her pity, he had notbullied her, he had not molested203 her with pitiful telephone calls and letters. He had not come andsat on Dr. Henshawe’s doorstep. He was an honorable person, and he would never know how sheacknowledged that, how she was grateful for it. The things she had said to him made her ashamednow. And they were not even true. Not all of them. He did know how to make love. She was somoved, made so gentle and wistful, by the sight of him, that she wanted to give him something,some surprising bounty, she wished to undo204 his unhappiness.
Then she had a compelling picture of herself. She was running softly into Patrick’s carrel, shewas throwing her arms around him from behind, she was giving everything back to him. Would hetake it from her, would he still want it? She saw them laughing and crying, explaining, forgiving. Ilove you, I do love you, it’s all right, I was terrible, I didn’t mean it, I was just crazy, I love you,it’s all right. This was a violent temptation for her; it was barely resistable. She had an impulse tohurl herself. Whether it was off a cliff or into a warm bed of welcoming grass and flowers, shereally could not tell.
It was not resistable, after all. She did it.
WHEN ROSE AFTERWARDS REVIEWED and talked about this moment in her life—for shewent through a period, like most people nowadays, of talking freely about her most privatedecisions, to friends and lovers and party acquaintances whom she might never see again, whilethey did the same—she said that comradely compassion205 had overcome her, she was not proofagainst the sight of a bare bent neck. Then she went further into it, and said greed, greed. She saidshe had run to him and clung to him and overcome his suspicions and kissed and cried andreinstated herself simply because she did not know how to do without his love and his promise tolook after her; she was frightened of the world and she had not been able to think up any otherplan for herself. When she was seeing life in economic terms, or was with people who did, shesaid that only middle-class people had choices anyway, that if she had had the price of a trainticket to Toronto her life would have been different.
Nonsense, she might say later, never mind that, it was really vanity, it was vanity pure andsimple, to resurrect him, to bring him back his happiness. To see if she could do that. She couldnot resist such a test of power. She explained then that she had paid for it. She said that she andPatrick had been married ten years, and that during that time the scenes of the first break-up andreconciliation had been periodically repeated, with her saying again all the things she had said thefirst time, and the things she had held back, and many other things which occurred to her. Shehopes she did not tell people (but thinks she did) that she used to beat her head against the bedpost,that she smashed a gravy206 boat through a dining-room window; that she was so frightened, sosickened by what she had done that she lay in bed, shivering, and begged and begged for hisforgiveness. Which he granted. Sometimes she flew at him; sometimes he beat her. The nextmorning they would get up early and make a special breakfast, they would sit eating bacon andeggs and drinking filtered coffee, worn out, bewildered, treating each other with shamefacedkindness.
What do you think triggers the reaction? they would say.
Do you think we ought to take a holiday? A holiday together?
Holidays alone?
A waste, a sham47, those efforts, as it turned out. But they worked for the moment. Calmed down,they would say that most people probably went through the same things like this, in a marriage,and indeed they seemed to know mostly people who did. They could not separate until enoughdamage had been done, until nearly mortal damage had been done, to keep them apart. And untilRose could get a job and make her own money, so perhaps there was a very ordinary reason afterall.
What she never said to anybody, never confided207, was that she sometimes thought it had notbeen pity or greed or cowardice208 or vanity but something quite different, like a vision of happiness.
In view of everything else she had told she could hardly tell that. It seems very odd; she can’tjustify it. She doesn’t mean that they had perfectly209 ordinary, bearable times in their marriage, longbusy stretches of wallpapering and vacationing and meals and shopping and worrying about achild’s illness, but that sometimes, without reason or warning, happiness, the possibility ofhappiness, would surprise them. Then it was as if they were in different though identical-seemingskins, as if there existed a radiantly kind and innocent Rose and Patrick, hardly ever visible, in theshadow of their usual selves. Perhaps it was that Patrick she saw when she was free of him,invisible to him, looking into his carrel. Perhaps it was. She should have left him there.
SHE KNEW that was how she had seen him; she knows it, because it happened again. She was ina Toronto airport, in the middle of the night. This was about nine years after she and Patrick weredivorced. She had become fairly well-known by this time, her face was familiar to many people inthis country. She did a television program on which she interviewed politicians, actors, writers,personalities, and many ordinary people who were angry about something the government or thepolice or a union had done to them. Sometimes she talked to people who had seen strange sights,UFO’s, or sea monsters, or who had unusual accomplishments210 or collections, or kept up someobsolete custom.
She was alone. No one was meeting her. She had just come in on a delayed flight fromYellowknife. She was tired and bedraggled. She saw Patrick standing with his back to her, at acoffee bar. He wore a raincoat. He was heavier than he had been, but she knew him at once. Andshe had the same feeling that this was a person she was bound to, that by a certain magical, yetpossible trick, they could find and trust each other, and that to begin this all that she had to do wasgo up and touch him on the shoulder, surprise him with his happiness.
She did not do this, of course, but she did stop. She was standing still when he turned around,heading for one of the little plastic tables and curved seats grouped in front of the coffee bar. Allhis skinniness and academic shabbiness, his look of prim53 authoritarianism211, was gone. He hadsmoothed out, filled out, into such a modish212 and agreeable, responsible, slightly complacent-looking man. His birthmark had faded. She thought how haggard and dreary213 she must look, in herrumpled trenchcoat, her long, graying hair fallen forward around her face, old mascara smudgedunder her eyes.
He made a face at her. It was a truly hateful, savagely214 warning, face; infantile, self-indulgent,yet calculated; it was a timed explosion of disgust and loathing215. It was hard to believe. But she sawit.
Sometimes when Rose was talking to someone in front of the television cameras she wouldsense the desire in them to make a face. She would sense it in all sorts of people, in skillfulpoliticians and witty216 liberal bishops217 and honored humanitarians218, in housewives who had witnessednatural disasters and in workmen who had performed heroic rescues or been cheated out ofdisability pensions. They were longing to sabotage219 themselves, to make a face or say a dirty word.
Was this the face they all wanted to make? To show somebody, to show everybody? Theywouldn’t do it, though; they wouldn’t get the chance. Special circumstances were required. A luridunreal place, the middle of the night, a staggering unhinging weariness, the sudden, hallucinatoryappearance of your true enemy.
She hurried away then, down the long vari-colored corridor, shaking. She had seen Patrick;Patrick had seen her; he had made that face. But she was not really able to understand how shecould be an enemy. How could anybody hate Rose so much, at the very moment when she wasready to come forward with her good will, her smiling confession220 of exhaustion221, her air ofdiffident faith in civilized222 overtures223?
Oh, Patrick could. Patrick could.


1 fixed JsKzzj     
  • Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗?
  • Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定,我们就不应该随意改变。
2 den 5w9xk     
  • There is a big fox den on the back hill.后山有一个很大的狐狸窝。
  • The only way to catch tiger cubs is to go into tiger's den.不入虎穴焉得虎子。
3 dribbling dribbling     
n.(燃料或油从系统内)漏泄v.流口水( dribble的现在分词 );(使液体)滴下或作细流;运球,带球
  • Basic skills include swimming, dribbling, passing, marking, tackling, throwing, catching and shooting. 个人基本技术包括游泳、带球、传球、盯人、抢截、抛球、接球和射门。 来自互联网
  • Carol: [Laurie starts dribbling again] Now do that for ten minutes. 卡罗:(萝莉开始再度运球)现在那样做十分钟。 来自互联网
4 edgy FuMzWT     
  • She's been a bit edgy lately,waiting for the exam results.她正在等待考试结果,所以最近有些焦躁不安。
  • He was nervous and edgy, still chain-smoking.他紧张不安,还在一根接一根地抽着烟。
5 comedian jWfyW     
  • The comedian tickled the crowd with his jokes.喜剧演员的笑话把人们逗乐了。
  • The comedian enjoyed great popularity during the 30's.那位喜剧演员在三十年代非常走红。
6 lame r9gzj     
  • The lame man needs a stick when he walks.那跛脚男子走路时需借助拐棍。
  • I don't believe his story.It'sounds a bit lame.我不信他讲的那一套。他的话听起来有些靠不住。
7 tilted 3gtzE5     
v. 倾斜的
  • Suddenly the boat tilted to one side. 小船突然倾向一侧。
  • She tilted her chin at him defiantly. 她向他翘起下巴表示挑衅。
8 determined duszmP     
  • I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
  • He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。
9 judgments 2a483d435ecb48acb69a6f4c4dd1a836     
判断( judgment的名词复数 ); 鉴定; 评价; 审判
  • A peculiar austerity marked his judgments of modern life. 他对现代生活的批评带着一种特殊的苛刻。
  • He is swift with his judgments. 他判断迅速。
10 conceit raVyy     
  • As conceit makes one lag behind,so modesty helps one make progress.骄傲使人落后,谦虚使人进步。
  • She seems to be eaten up with her own conceit.她仿佛已经被骄傲冲昏了头脑。
11 forum cilx0     
  • They're holding a forum on new ways of teaching history.他们正在举行历史教学讨论会。
  • The organisation would provide a forum where problems could be discussed.这个组织将提供一个可以讨论问题的平台。
12 missionaries 478afcff2b692239c9647b106f4631ba     
n.传教士( missionary的名词复数 )
  • Some missionaries came from England in the Qing Dynasty. 清朝时,从英国来了一些传教士。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The missionaries rebuked the natives for worshipping images. 传教士指责当地人崇拜偶像。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
13 jade i3Pxo     
  • The statue was carved out of jade.这座塑像是玉雕的。
  • He presented us with a couple of jade lions.他送给我们一对玉狮子。
14 jewelry 0auz1     
  • The burglars walked off with all my jewelry.夜盗偷走了我的全部珠宝。
  • Jewelry and lace are mostly feminine belongings.珠宝和花边多数是女性用品。
15 linen W3LyK     
  • The worker is starching the linen.这名工人正在给亚麻布上浆。
  • Fine linen and cotton fabrics were known as well as wool.精细的亚麻织品和棉织品像羊毛一样闻名遐迩。
16 sullenly f65ccb557a7ca62164b31df638a88a71     
  • 'so what?" Tom said sullenly. “那又怎么样呢?”汤姆绷着脸说。
  • Emptiness after the paper, I sIt'sullenly in front of the stove. 报看完,想不出能找点什么事做,只好一人坐在火炉旁生气。
17 literally 28Wzv     
  • He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
  • Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候,她不走到真正要昏厥了,决不肯坐下来。
18 fluorescent Zz2y3     
  • They observed the deflections of the particles by allowing them to fall on a fluorescent screen.他们让粒子落在荧光屏上以观察他们的偏移。
  • This fluorescent lighting certainly gives the food a peculiar color.这萤光灯当然增添了食物特别的色彩。
19 permanently KluzuU     
  • The accident left him permanently scarred.那次事故给他留下了永久的伤疤。
  • The ship is now permanently moored on the Thames in London.该船现在永久地停泊在伦敦泰晤士河边。
20 discredit fu3xX     
  • Their behaviour has bought discredit on English football.他们的行为败坏了英国足球运动的声誉。
  • They no longer try to discredit the technology itself.他们不再试图怀疑这种技术本身。
21 modulation mEixk     
  • The soft modulation of her voice soothed the infant. 她柔和的声调使婴儿安静了。
  • Frequency modulation does not allow static to creep in. 频率调制不允许静电干扰混入。
22 deprivation e9Uy7     
  • Many studies make it clear that sleep deprivation is dangerous.多实验都证实了睡眠被剥夺是危险的。
  • Missing the holiday was a great deprivation.错过假日是极大的损失。
23 malicious e8UzX     
  • You ought to kick back at such malicious slander. 你应当反击这种恶毒的污蔑。
  • Their talk was slightly malicious.他们的谈话有点儿心怀不轨。
24 jealousy WaRz6     
  • Some women have a disposition to jealousy.有些女人生性爱妒忌。
  • I can't support your jealousy any longer.我再也无法忍受你的嫉妒了。
25 flaring Bswzxn     
  • A vulgar flaring paper adorned the walls. 墙壁上装饰着廉价的花纸。
  • Goebbels was flaring up at me. 戈塔尔当时已对我面呈愠色。
26 pious KSCzd     
  • Alexander is a pious follower of the faith.亚历山大是个虔诚的信徒。
  • Her mother was a pious Christian.她母亲是一个虔诚的基督教徒。
27 bawdy RuDzP     
  • After a few drinks,they were all singing bawdy songs at the top of their voices.喝了几杯酒之后,他们就扯着嗓门唱一些下流歌曲。
  • His eyes were shrewd and bawdy.他的一双眼睛机灵而轻佻。
28 naive yFVxO     
  • It's naive of you to believe he'll do what he says.相信他会言行一致,你未免太单纯了。
  • Don't be naive.The matter is not so simple.你别傻乎乎的。事情没有那么简单。
29 truthful OmpwN     
  • You can count on him for a truthful report of the accident.你放心,他会对事故作出如实的报告的。
  • I don't think you are being entirely truthful.我认为你并没全讲真话。
30 guardian 8ekxv     
  • The form must be signed by the child's parents or guardian. 这张表格须由孩子的家长或监护人签字。
  • The press is a guardian of the public weal. 报刊是公共福利的卫护者。
31 relish wBkzs     
  • I have no relish for pop music.我对流行音乐不感兴趣。
  • I relish the challenge of doing jobs that others turn down.我喜欢挑战别人拒绝做的工作。
32 meekly meekly     
  • He stood aside meekly when the new policy was proposed. 当有人提出新政策时,他唯唯诺诺地站 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He meekly accepted the rebuke. 他顺从地接受了批评。 来自《简明英汉词典》
33 meek x7qz9     
  • He expects his wife to be meek and submissive.他期望妻子温顺而且听他摆布。
  • The little girl is as meek as a lamb.那个小姑娘像羔羊一般温顺。
34 gratitude p6wyS     
  • I have expressed the depth of my gratitude to him.我向他表示了深切的谢意。
  • She could not help her tears of gratitude rolling down her face.她感激的泪珠禁不住沿着面颊流了下来。
35 secular GZmxM     
  • We live in an increasingly secular society.我们生活在一个日益非宗教的社会。
  • Britain is a plural society in which the secular predominates.英国是个世俗主导的多元社会。
36 piety muuy3     
  • They were drawn to the church not by piety but by curiosity.他们去教堂不是出于虔诚而是出于好奇。
  • Experience makes us see an enormous difference between piety and goodness.经验使我们看到虔诚与善意之间有着巨大的区别。
37 latched f08cf783d4edd3b2cede706f293a3d7f     
v.理解( latch的过去式和过去分词 );纠缠;用碰锁锁上(门等);附着(在某物上)
  • The government have latched onto environmental issues to win votes. 政府已开始大谈环境问题以争取选票。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He latched onto us and we couldn't get rid of him. 他缠着我们,甩也甩不掉。 来自《简明英汉词典》
38 harp UlEyQ     
  • She swept her fingers over the strings of the harp.她用手指划过竖琴的琴弦。
  • He played an Irish melody on the harp.他用竖琴演奏了一首爱尔兰曲调。
39 registration ASKzO     
  • Marriage without registration is not recognized by law.法律不承认未登记的婚姻。
  • What's your registration number?你挂的是几号?
40 sagging 2cd7acc35feffadbb3241d569f4364b2     
  • The morale of the enemy troops is continuously sagging. 敌军的士气不断低落。
  • We are sagging south. 我们的船正离开航线向南漂流。
41 scaly yjRzJg     
  • Reptiles possess a scaly,dry skin.爬行类具有覆盖着鳞片的干燥皮肤。
  • The iron pipe is scaly with rust.铁管子因为生锈一片片剥落了。
42 moldy Q1gya     
  • She chucked the moldy potatoes in the dustbin.她把发霉的土豆扔进垃圾箱。
  • Oranges can be kept for a long time without going moldy.橙子可以存放很长时间而不腐烂。
43 flakes d80cf306deb4a89b84c9efdce8809c78     
小薄片( flake的名词复数 ); (尤指)碎片; 雪花; 古怪的人
  • It's snowing in great flakes. 天下着鹅毛大雪。
  • It is snowing in great flakes. 正值大雪纷飞。
44 pall hvwyP     
  • Already the allure of meals in restaurants had begun to pall.饭店里的饭菜已经不像以前那样诱人。
  • I find his books begin to pall on me after a while.我发觉他的书读过一阵子就开始对我失去吸引力。
45 docility fa2bc100be92db9a613af5832f9b75b9     
  • He was trying to plant the seed of revolt, arouse that placid peasant docility. 他想撒下反叛的种子,唤醒这个安分驯良的农民的觉悟。 来自辞典例句
  • With unusual docility, Nancy stood up and followed him as he left the newsroom. 南希以难得的顺从站起身来,尾随着他离开了新闻编辑室。 来自辞典例句
46 distinguished wu9z3v     
  • Elephants are distinguished from other animals by their long noses.大象以其长长的鼻子显示出与其他动物的不同。
  • A banquet was given in honor of the distinguished guests.宴会是为了向贵宾们致敬而举行的。
47 sham RsxyV     
  • They cunningly played the game of sham peace.他们狡滑地玩弄假和平的把戏。
  • His love was a mere sham.他的爱情是虚假的。
48 elegance QjPzj     
  • The furnishings in the room imparted an air of elegance.这个房间的家具带给这房间一种优雅的气氛。
  • John has been known for his sartorial elegance.约翰因为衣着讲究而出名。
49 reminders aaaf99d0fb822f809193c02b8cf69fba     
n.令人回忆起…的东西( reminder的名词复数 );提醒…的东西;(告知该做某事的)通知单;提示信
  • The film evokes chilling reminders of the war. 这部电影使人们回忆起战争的可怕场景。
  • The strike has delayed the mailing of tax reminders. 罢工耽搁了催税单的投寄。
50 despondent 4Pwzw     
  • He was up for a time and then,without warning,despondent again.他一度兴高采烈,但忽然又情绪低落下来。
  • I feel despondent when my work is rejected.作品被拒后我感到很沮丧。
51 outfit YJTxC     
  • Jenney bought a new outfit for her daughter's wedding.珍妮为参加女儿的婚礼买了一套新装。
  • His father bought a ski outfit for him on his birthday.他父亲在他生日那天给他买了一套滑雪用具。
52 begetting d0ecea6396fa7ccb7fa294ca4c9432a7     
v.为…之生父( beget的现在分词 );产生,引起
  • It was widely believed that James' early dissipations had left him incapable of begetting a son. 人们普通认为,詹姆士早年生活放荡,致使他不能生育子嗣。 来自辞典例句
  • That best form became the next parent, begetting other mutations. 那个最佳形态成为下一个父代,带来其他变异。 来自互联网
53 prim SSIz3     
  • She's too prim to enjoy rude jokes!她太古板,不喜欢听粗野的笑话!
  • He is prim and precise in manner.他的态度一本正经而严谨
54 casement kw8zwr     
  • A casement is a window that opens by means of hinges at the side.竖铰链窗是一种用边上的铰链开启的窗户。
  • With the casement half open,a cold breeze rushed inside.窗扉半开,凉风袭来。
55 idiotic wcFzd     
  • It is idiotic to go shopping with no money.去买东西而不带钱是很蠢的。
  • The child's idiotic deeds caused his family much trouble.那小孩愚蠢的行为给家庭带来许多麻烦。
56 dignified NuZzfb     
  • Throughout his trial he maintained a dignified silence. 在整个审讯过程中,他始终沉默以保持尊严。
  • He always strikes such a dignified pose before his girlfriend. 他总是在女友面前摆出这种庄严的姿态。
57 fervently 8tmzPw     
  • "Oh, I am glad!'she said fervently. “哦,我真高兴!”她热烈地说道。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • O my dear, my dear, will you bless me as fervently to-morrow?' 啊,我亲爱的,亲爱的,你明天也愿这样热烈地为我祝福么?” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记
58 faculty HhkzK     
  • He has a great faculty for learning foreign languages.他有学习外语的天赋。
  • He has the faculty of saying the right thing at the right time.他有在恰当的时候说恰当的话的才智。
59 hoisted d1dcc88c76ae7d9811db29181a2303df     
把…吊起,升起( hoist的过去式和过去分词 )
  • He hoisted himself onto a high stool. 他抬身坐上了一张高凳子。
  • The sailors hoisted the cargo onto the deck. 水手们把货物吊到甲板上。
60 crouched 62634c7e8c15b8a61068e36aaed563ab     
v.屈膝,蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 )
  • He crouched down beside her. 他在她的旁边蹲了下来。
  • The lion crouched ready to pounce. 狮子蹲下身,准备猛扑。
61 bent QQ8yD     
  • He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
  • We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。
62 calf ecLye     
  • The cow slinked its calf.那头母牛早产了一头小牛犊。
  • The calf blared for its mother.牛犊哞哞地高声叫喊找妈妈。
63 blotch qoSyY     
  • He pointed to a dark blotch upon the starry sky some miles astern of us.他指着我们身后几英里处繁星点点的天空中的一朵乌云。
  • His face was covered in ugly red blotches.他脸上有许多难看的红色大斑点。
64 poked 87f534f05a838d18eb50660766da4122     
v.伸出( poke的过去式和过去分词 );戳出;拨弄;与(某人)性交
  • She poked him in the ribs with her elbow. 她用胳膊肘顶他的肋部。
  • His elbow poked out through his torn shirt sleeve. 他的胳膊从衬衫的破袖子中露了出来。 来自《简明英汉词典》
65 entirely entirely     
  • The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
  • His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。
66 thumped 0a7f1b69ec9ae1663cb5ed15c0a62795     
v.重击, (指心脏)急速跳动( thump的过去式和过去分词 )
  • Dave thumped the table in frustration . 戴夫懊恼得捶打桌子。
  • He thumped the table angrily. 他愤怒地用拳捶击桌子。
67 chivalric 343dd3459ba6ad51d93d5247ae9dc0bb     
68 quotation 7S6xV     
  • He finished his speech with a quotation from Shakespeare.他讲话结束时引用了莎士比亚的语录。
  • The quotation is omitted here.此处引文从略。
69 distress 3llzX     
  • Nothing could alleviate his distress.什么都不能减轻他的痛苦。
  • Please don't distress yourself.请你不要忧愁了。
70 irony P4WyZ     
  • She said to him with slight irony.她略带嘲讽地对他说。
  • In her voice we could sense a certain tinge of irony.从她的声音里我们可以感到某种讥讽的意味。
71 outrages 9ece4cd231eb3211ff6e9e04f826b1a5     
引起…的义愤,激怒( outrage的第三人称单数 )
  • People are seeking retribution for the latest terrorist outrages. 人们在设法对恐怖分子最近的暴行进行严惩。
  • He [She] is not allowed to commit any outrages. 不能任其胡作非为。
72 aggrieved mzyzc3     
adj.愤愤不平的,受委屈的;悲痛的;(在合法权利方面)受侵害的v.令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式);令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式和过去分词)
  • He felt aggrieved at not being chosen for the team. 他因没被选到队里感到愤愤不平。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • She is the aggrieved person whose fiance&1& did not show up for their wedding. 她很委屈,她的未婚夫未出现在他们的婚礼上。 来自《简明英汉词典》
73 horrified 8rUzZU     
  • The whole country was horrified by the killings. 全国都对这些凶杀案感到大为震惊。
  • We were horrified at the conditions prevailing in local prisons. 地方监狱的普遍状况让我们震惊。
74 growling growling     
n.吠声, 咆哮声 v.怒吠, 咆哮, 吼
  • We heard thunder growling in the distance. 我们听见远处有隆隆雷声。
  • The lay about the deck growling together in talk. 他们在甲板上到处游荡,聚集在一起发牢骚。
75 manly fBexr     
  • The boy walked with a confident manly stride.这男孩以自信的男人步伐行走。
  • He set himself manly tasks and expected others to follow his example.他给自己定下了男子汉的任务,并希望别人效之。
76 reassuring vkbzHi     
  • He gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. 他轻拍了一下她的肩膀让她放心。
  • With a reassuring pat on her arm, he left. 他鼓励地拍了拍她的手臂就离开了。
77 longing 98bzd     
  • Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
  • His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。
78 judiciously 18cfc8ca2569d10664611011ec143a63     
  • Let's use these intelligence tests judiciously. 让我们好好利用这些智力测试题吧。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • His ideas were quaint and fantastic. She brought him judiciously to earth. 他的看法荒廖古怪,她颇有见识地劝他面对现实。 来自辞典例句
79 arrogance pNpyD     
  • His arrogance comes out in every speech he makes.他每次讲话都表现得骄傲自大。
  • Arrogance arrested his progress.骄傲阻碍了他的进步。
80 humility 8d6zX     
  • Humility often gains more than pride.谦逊往往比骄傲收益更多。
  • His voice was still soft and filled with specious humility.他的声音还是那么温和,甚至有点谦卑。
81 decided lvqzZd     
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
82 arrogant Jvwz5     
  • You've got to get rid of your arrogant ways.你这骄傲劲儿得好好改改。
  • People are waking up that he is arrogant.人们开始认识到他很傲慢。
83 petulance oNgxw     
  • His petulance made her impatient.他的任性让她无法忍受。
  • He tore up the manuscript in a fit of petulance.他一怒之下把手稿撕碎了。
84 defer KnYzZ     
  • We wish to defer our decision until next week.我们希望推迟到下星期再作出决定。
  • We will defer to whatever the committee decides.我们遵从委员会作出的任何决定。
85 ironic 1atzm     
  • That is a summary and ironic end.那是一个具有概括性和讽刺意味的结局。
  • People used to call me Mr Popularity at high school,but they were being ironic.人们中学时常把我称作“万人迷先生”,但他们是在挖苦我。
86 coup co5z4     
  • The monarch was ousted by a military coup.那君主被军事政变者废黜了。
  • That government was overthrown in a military coup three years ago.那个政府在3年前的军事政变中被推翻。
87 voluptuous lLQzV     
  • The nobility led voluptuous lives.贵族阶层过着骄奢淫逸的生活。
  • The dancer's movements were slow and voluptuous.舞女的动作缓慢而富挑逗性。
88 milky JD0xg     
  • Alexander always has milky coffee at lunchtime.亚历山大总是在午餐时喝掺奶的咖啡。
  • I like a hot milky drink at bedtime.我喜欢睡前喝杯热奶饮料。
89 puddle otNy9     
  • The boy hopped the mud puddle and ran down the walk.这个男孩跳过泥坑,沿着人行道跑了。
  • She tripped over and landed in a puddle.她绊了一下,跌在水坑里。
90 flinch BgIz1     
  • She won't flinch from speaking her mind.她不会讳言自己的想法。
  • We will never flinch from difficulties.我们面对困难决不退缩。
91 flinching ab334e7ae08e4b8dbdd4cc9a8ee4eefd     
v.(因危险和痛苦)退缩,畏惧( flinch的现在分词 )
  • He listened to the jeers of the crowd without flinching. 他毫不畏惧地听着群众的嘲笑。 来自辞典例句
  • Without flinching he dashed into the burning house to save the children. 他毫不畏缩地冲进在燃烧的房屋中去救小孩。 来自辞典例句
92 oblique x5czF     
  • He made oblique references to her lack of experience.他拐弯抹角地说她缺乏经验。
  • She gave an oblique look to one side.她向旁边斜看了一眼。
93 irritable LRuzn     
  • He gets irritable when he's got toothache.他牙一疼就很容易发脾气。
  • Our teacher is an irritable old lady.She gets angry easily.我们的老师是位脾气急躁的老太太。她很容易生气。
94 sleepless oiBzGN     
  • The situation gave her many sleepless nights.这种情况害她一连好多天睡不好觉。
  • One evening I heard a tale that rendered me sleepless for nights.一天晚上,我听说了一个传闻,把我搞得一连几夜都不能入睡。
95 irritation la9zf     
  • He could not hide his irritation that he had not been invited.他无法掩饰因未被邀请而生的气恼。
  • Barbicane said nothing,but his silence covered serious irritation.巴比康什么也不说,但是他的沉默里潜伏着阴郁的怒火。
96 misery G10yi     
  • Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
  • He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。
97 outrageous MvFyH     
  • Her outrageous behaviour at the party offended everyone.她在聚会上的无礼行为触怒了每一个人。
  • Charges for local telephone calls are particularly outrageous.本地电话资费贵得出奇。
98 collapsed cwWzSG     
  • Jack collapsed in agony on the floor. 杰克十分痛苦地瘫倒在地板上。
  • The roof collapsed under the weight of snow. 房顶在雪的重压下突然坍塌下来。
99 eyebrows a0e6fb1330e9cfecfd1c7a4d00030ed5     
眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 )
  • Eyebrows stop sweat from coming down into the eyes. 眉毛挡住汗水使其不能流进眼睛。
  • His eyebrows project noticeably. 他的眉毛特别突出。
100 wriggled cd018a1c3280e9fe7b0169cdb5687c29     
v.扭动,蠕动,蜿蜒行进( wriggle的过去式和过去分词 );(使身体某一部位)扭动;耍滑不做,逃避(应做的事等)
  • He wriggled uncomfortably on the chair. 他坐在椅子上不舒服地扭动着身体。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • A snake wriggled across the road. 一条蛇蜿蜒爬过道路。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
101 scooped a4cb36a9a46ab2830b09e95772d85c96     
v.抢先报道( scoop的过去式和过去分词 );(敏捷地)抱起;抢先获得;用铲[勺]等挖(洞等)
  • They scooped the other newspapers by revealing the matter. 他们抢先报道了这件事。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The wheels scooped up stones which hammered ominously under the car. 车轮搅起的石块,在车身下发出不吉祥的锤击声。 来自《简明英汉词典》
102 hissed 2299e1729bbc7f56fc2559e409d6e8a7     
发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 ); 发嘘声表示反对
  • Have you ever been hissed at in the middle of a speech? 你在演讲中有没有被嘘过?
  • The iron hissed as it pressed the wet cloth. 熨斗压在湿布上时发出了嘶嘶声。
103 poetic b2PzT     
  • His poetic idiom is stamped with expressions describing group feeling and thought.他的诗中的措辞往往带有描写群体感情和思想的印记。
  • His poetic novels have gone through three different historical stages.他的诗情小说创作经历了三个不同的历史阶段。
104 remonstrance bVex0     
  • She had abandoned all attempts at remonstrance with Thomas.她已经放弃了一切劝戒托马斯的尝试。
  • Mrs. Peniston was at the moment inaccessible to remonstrance.目前彭尼斯顿太太没功夫听她告状。
105 exasperation HiyzX     
  • He snorted with exasperation.他愤怒地哼了一声。
  • She rolled her eyes in sheer exasperation.她气急败坏地转动着眼珠。
106 virgin phPwj     
  • Have you ever been to a virgin forest?你去过原始森林吗?
  • There are vast expanses of virgin land in the remote regions.在边远地区有大片大片未开垦的土地。
107 triumphantly 9fhzuv     
  • The lion was roaring triumphantly. 狮子正在发出胜利的吼叫。
  • Robert was looking at me triumphantly. 罗伯特正得意扬扬地看着我。
108 tormented b017cc8a8957c07bc6b20230800888d0     
  • The knowledge of his guilt tormented him. 知道了自己的罪责使他非常痛苦。
  • He had lain awake all night, tormented by jealousy. 他彻夜未眠,深受嫉妒的折磨。
109 bullying f23dd48b95ce083d3774838a76074f5f     
v.恐吓,威逼( bully的现在分词 );豪;跋扈
  • Many cases of bullying go unreported . 很多恐吓案件都没有人告发。
  • All cases of bullying will be severely dealt with. 所有以大欺小的情况都将受到严肃处理。 来自《简明英汉词典》
110 zipper FevzVM     
  • The zipper is red.这条拉链是红色的。
  • The zipper is a wonderful invention.拉链是个了不起的发明。
111 floppy xjGx1     
  • She was wearing a big floppy hat.她戴了顶松软的大帽子。
  • Can you copy those files onto this floppy disk?你能把那些文件复制到这张软盘上吗?
112 plaintively 46a8d419c0b5a38a2bee07501e57df53     
  • The last note of the song rang out plaintively. 歌曲最后道出了离别的哀怨。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Birds cry plaintively before they die, men speak kindly in the presence of death. 鸟之将死,其鸣也哀;人之将死,其言也善。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
113 trampled 8c4f546db10d3d9e64a5bba8494912e6     
踩( trample的过去式和过去分词 ); 践踏; 无视; 侵犯
  • He gripped his brother's arm lest he be trampled by the mob. 他紧抓着他兄弟的胳膊,怕他让暴民踩着。
  • People were trampled underfoot in the rush for the exit. 有人在拼命涌向出口时被踩在脚下。
114 craved e690825cc0ddd1a25d222b7a89ee7595     
渴望,热望( crave的过去式 ); 恳求,请求
  • She has always craved excitement. 她总渴望刺激。
  • A spicy, sharp-tasting radish was exactly what her stomach craved. 她正馋着想吃一个香甜可口的红萝卜呢。
115 pimples f06a6536c7fcdeca679ac422007b5c89     
n.丘疹,粉刺,小脓疱( pimple的名词复数 )
  • It gave me goose pimples just to think about it. 只是想到它我就起鸡皮疙瘩。
  • His face has now broken out in pimples. 他脸上突然起了丘疹。 来自《简明英汉词典》
116 Mediterranean ezuzT     
  • The houses are Mediterranean in character.这些房子都属地中海风格。
  • Gibraltar is the key to the Mediterranean.直布罗陀是地中海的要冲。
117 lured 77df5632bf83c9c64fb09403ae21e649     
  • The child was lured into a car but managed to escape. 那小孩被诱骗上了车,但又设法逃掉了。
  • Lured by the lust of gold,the pioneers pushed onward. 开拓者在黄金的诱惑下,继续奋力向前。
118 unbearable alCwB     
  • It is unbearable to be always on thorns.老是处于焦虑不安的情况中是受不了的。
  • The more he thought of it the more unbearable it became.他越想越觉得无法忍受。
119 elusive d8vyH     
  • Try to catch the elusive charm of the original in translation.翻译时设法把握住原文中难以捉摸的风韵。
  • Interpol have searched all the corners of the earth for the elusive hijackers.国际刑警组织已在世界各地搜查在逃的飞机劫持者。
120 entrapped eb21b3b8e7dad36e21d322e11b46715d     
v.使陷入圈套,使入陷阱( entrap的过去式和过去分词 )
  • He was entrapped into undertaking the work. 他受骗而担任那工作。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He felt he had been entrapped into marrying her. 他觉得和她结婚是上了当。 来自辞典例句
121 giggling 2712674ae81ec7e853724ef7e8c53df1     
v.咯咯地笑( giggle的现在分词 )
  • We just sat there giggling like naughty schoolchildren. 我们只是坐在那儿像调皮的小学生一样的咯咯地傻笑。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • I can't stand her giggling, she's so silly. 她吃吃地笑,叫我真受不了,那样子傻透了。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
122 humiliation Jd3zW     
  • He suffered the humiliation of being forced to ask for his cards.他蒙受了被迫要求辞职的羞辱。
  • He will wish to revenge his humiliation in last Season's Final.他会为在上个季度的决赛中所受的耻辱而报复的。
123 stratagems 28767f8a7c56f953da2c1d90c9cac552     
n.诡计,计谋( stratagem的名词复数 );花招
  • My bargaining stratagems are starting to show some promise. 我的议价策略也已经出现了一些结果。 来自电影对白
  • These commanders are ace-high because of their wisdom and stratagems. 这些指挥官因足智多谋而特别受人喜爱。 来自互联网
124 embarrassment fj9z8     
  • She could have died away with embarrassment.她窘迫得要死。
  • Coughing at a concert can be a real embarrassment.在音乐会上咳嗽真会使人难堪。
125 counterfeit 1oEz8     
  • It is a crime to counterfeit money.伪造货币是犯罪行为。
  • The painting looked old but was a recent counterfeit.这幅画看上去年代久远,实际是最近的一幅赝品。
126 accomplished UzwztZ     
  • Thanks to your help,we accomplished the task ahead of schedule.亏得你们帮忙,我们才提前完成了任务。
  • Removal of excess heat is accomplished by means of a radiator.通过散热器完成多余热量的排出。
127 passionate rLDxd     
  • He is said to be the most passionate man.据说他是最有激情的人。
  • He is very passionate about the project.他对那个项目非常热心。
128 attentive pOKyB     
  • She was very attentive to her guests.她对客人招待得十分周到。
  • The speaker likes to have an attentive audience.演讲者喜欢注意力集中的听众。
129 interfered 71b7e795becf1adbddfab2cd6c5f0cff     
v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 );调停;妨碍;干涉
  • Complete absorption in sports interfered with his studies. 专注于运动妨碍了他的学业。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • I am not going to be interfered with. 我不想别人干扰我的事情。 来自《简明英汉词典》
130 chivalry wXAz6     
  • The Middle Ages were also the great age of chivalry.中世纪也是骑士制度盛行的时代。
  • He looked up at them with great chivalry.他非常有礼貌地抬头瞧她们。
131 mutinous GF4xA     
  • The mutinous sailors took control of the ship.反叛的水手们接管了那艘船。
  • His own army,stung by defeats,is mutinous.经历失败的痛楚后,他所率军队出现反叛情绪。
132 unreasonable tjLwm     
  • I know that they made the most unreasonable demands on you.我知道他们对你提出了最不合理的要求。
  • They spend an unreasonable amount of money on clothes.他们花在衣服上的钱太多了。
133 jittery jittery     
adj. 神经过敏的, 战战兢兢的
  • However, nothing happened though he continued to feel jittery. 可是,自从拉上这辆车,并没有出什么错儿,虽然他心中嘀嘀咕咕的不安。 来自汉英文学 - 骆驼祥子
  • The thirty-six Enterprise divebombers were being squandered in a jittery shot from the hip. 这三十六架“企业号”上的俯冲轰炸机正被孤注一掷。
134 distractions ff1d4018fe7ed703bc7b2e2e97ba2216     
n.使人分心的事[人]( distraction的名词复数 );娱乐,消遣;心烦意乱;精神错乱
  • I find it hard to work at home because there are too many distractions. 我发觉在家里工作很难,因为使人分心的事太多。
  • There are too many distractions here to work properly. 这里叫人分心的事太多,使人无法好好工作。 来自《简明英汉词典》
135 discredited 94ada058d09abc9d4a3f8a5e1089019f     
  • The reactionary authorities are between two fires and have been discredited. 反动当局弄得进退维谷,不得人心。
  • Her honour was discredited in the newspapers. 她的名声被报纸败坏了。
136 conceal DpYzt     
  • He had to conceal his identity to escape the police.为了躲避警方,他只好隐瞒身份。
  • He could hardly conceal his joy at his departure.他几乎掩饰不住临行时的喜悦。
137 concealed 0v3zxG     
  • The paintings were concealed beneath a thick layer of plaster. 那些画被隐藏在厚厚的灰泥层下面。
  • I think he had a gun concealed about his person. 我认为他当时身上藏有一支枪。
138 coastal WWiyh     
  • The ocean waves are slowly eating away the coastal rocks.大海的波浪慢慢地侵蚀着岸边的岩石。
  • This country will fortify the coastal areas.该国将加强沿海地区的防御。
139 dressing 1uOzJG     
  • Don't spend such a lot of time in dressing yourself.别花那么多时间来打扮自己。
  • The children enjoy dressing up in mother's old clothes.孩子们喜欢穿上妈妈旧时的衣服玩。
140 pebbly 347dedfd2569b6cc3c87fddf46bf87ed     
  • Sometimes the water spread like a sheen over the pebbly bed. 有时河水泛流在圆石子的河床上,晶莹发光。
  • The beach is pebbly. 这个海滩上有许多卵石。
141 belly QyKzLi     
  • The boss has a large belly.老板大腹便便。
  • His eyes are bigger than his belly.他眼馋肚饱。
142 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
143 discreet xZezn     
  • He is very discreet in giving his opinions.发表意见他十分慎重。
  • It wasn't discreet of you to ring me up at the office.你打电话到我办公室真是太鲁莽了。
144 indifference k8DxO     
  • I was disappointed by his indifference more than somewhat.他的漠不关心使我很失望。
  • He feigned indifference to criticism of his work.他假装毫不在意别人批评他的作品。
145 pretense yQYxi     
  • You can't keep up the pretense any longer.你无法继续伪装下去了。
  • Pretense invariably impresses only the pretender.弄虚作假欺骗不了真正的行家。
146 affront pKvy6     
  • Your behaviour is an affront to public decency.你的行为有伤风化。
  • This remark caused affront to many people.这句话得罪了不少人。
147 disapproval VuTx4     
  • The teacher made an outward show of disapproval.老师表面上表示不同意。
  • They shouted their disapproval.他们喊叫表示反对。
148 speculative uvjwd     
  • Much of our information is speculative.我们的许多信息是带推测性的。
  • The report is highly speculative and should be ignored.那个报道推测的成分很大,不应理会。
149 lumber a8Jz6     
  • The truck was sent to carry lumber.卡车被派出去运木材。
  • They slapped together a cabin out of old lumber.他们利用旧木料草草地盖起了一间小屋。
150 barons d288a7d0097bc7a8a6a4398b999b01f6     
男爵( baron的名词复数 ); 巨头; 大王; 大亨
  • The barons of Normandy had refused to countenance the enterprise officially. 诺曼底的贵族们拒绝正式赞助这桩买卖。
  • The barons took the oath which Stephen Langton prescribed. 男爵们照斯蒂芬?兰顿的指导宣了誓。
151 irritably e3uxw     
  • He lost his temper and snapped irritably at the children. 他发火了,暴躁地斥责孩子们。
  • On this account the silence was irritably broken by a reproof. 为了这件事,他妻子大声斥责,令人恼火地打破了宁静。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
152 belligerent Qtwzz     
  • He had a belligerent aspect.他有种好斗的神色。
  • Our government has forbidden exporting the petroleum to the belligerent countries.我们政府已经禁止向交战国输出石油。
153 makeup 4AXxO     
  • Those who failed the exam take a makeup exam.这次考试不及格的人必须参加补考。
  • Do you think her beauty could makeup for her stupidity?你认为她的美丽能弥补她的愚蠢吗?
154 pompous 416zv     
  • He was somewhat pompous and had a high opinion of his own capabilities.他有点自大,自视甚高。
  • He is a good man underneath his pompous appearance. 他的外表虽傲慢,其实是个好人。
155 nervously tn6zFp     
  • He bit his lip nervously,trying not to cry.他紧张地咬着唇,努力忍着不哭出来。
  • He paced nervously up and down on the platform.他在站台上情绪不安地走来走去。
156 immediate aapxh     
  • His immediate neighbours felt it their duty to call.他的近邻认为他们有责任去拜访。
  • We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。
157 parody N46zV     
  • The parody was just a form of teasing.那个拙劣的模仿只是一种揶揄。
  • North Korea looks like a grotesque parody of Mao's centrally controlled China,precisely the sort of system that Beijing has left behind.朝鲜看上去像是毛时代中央集权的中国的怪诞模仿,其体制恰恰是北京方面已经抛弃的。
158 brag brag     
  • He made brag of his skill.他夸耀自己技术高明。
  • His wealth is his brag.他夸张他的财富。
159 bragging 4a422247fd139463c12f66057bbcffdf     
v.自夸,吹嘘( brag的现在分词 );大话
  • He's always bragging about his prowess as a cricketer. 他总是吹嘘自己板球水平高超。 来自辞典例句
  • Now you're bragging, darling. You know you don't need to brag. 这就是夸口,亲爱的。你明知道你不必吹。 来自辞典例句
160 subdue ltTwO     
  • She tried to subdue her anger.她尽力压制自己的怒火。
  • He forced himself to subdue and overcome his fears.他强迫自己克制并战胜恐惧心理。
161 minor e7fzR     
  • The young actor was given a minor part in the new play.年轻的男演员在这出新戏里被分派担任一个小角色。
  • I gave him a minor share of my wealth.我把小部分财产给了他。
162 jeered c6b854b3d0a6d00c4c5a3e1372813b7d     
v.嘲笑( jeer的过去式和过去分词 )
  • The police were jeered at by the waiting crowd. 警察受到在等待的人群的嘲弄。
  • The crowd jeered when the boxer was knocked down. 当那个拳击手被打倒时,人们开始嘲笑他。 来自《简明英汉词典》
163 wrangled 7723eaaa8cfa9eeab16bb74c4102de17     
v.争吵,争论,口角( wrangle的过去式和过去分词 )
  • They wrangled over what to do next. 他们就接下来该干什么而争吵。 来自辞典例句
  • They wrangled and rowed with other passengers. 他们与其他旅客争辨吵闹。 来自辞典例句
164 plentiful r2izH     
  • Their family has a plentiful harvest this year.他们家今年又丰收了。
  • Rainfall is plentiful in the area.这个地区雨量充足。
165 malevolence malevolence     
  • I had always been aware of a frame of malevolence under his urbanity. 我常常觉察到,在他温文尔雅的下面掩藏着一种恶意。 来自辞典例句
166 grumbler 4ebedc2c9e99244a3d82f404a72c9f60     
  • He is a grumbler. 他是一个爱抱怨的人。
  • He is a dreadful grumbler. 他是特别爱发牢骚的人。
167 jovial TabzG     
  • He seemed jovial,but his eyes avoided ours.他显得很高兴,但他的眼光却避开了我们的眼光。
  • Grandma was plump and jovial.祖母身材圆胖,整天乐呵呵的。
168 stony qu1wX     
  • The ground is too dry and stony.这块地太干,而且布满了石头。
  • He listened to her story with a stony expression.他带着冷漠的表情听她讲经历。
169 turnips 0a5b5892a51b9bd77b247285ad0b3f77     
芜青( turnip的名词复数 ); 芜菁块根; 芜菁甘蓝块根; 怀表
  • Well, I like turnips, tomatoes, eggplants, cauliflowers, onions and carrots. 噢,我喜欢大萝卜、西红柿、茄子、菜花、洋葱和胡萝卜。 来自魔法英语-口语突破(高中)
  • This is turnip soup, made from real turnips. 这是大头菜汤,用真正的大头菜做的。
170 detested e34cc9ea05a83243e2c1ed4bd90db391     
v.憎恶,嫌恶,痛恨( detest的过去式和过去分词 )
  • They detested each other on sight. 他们互相看着就不顺眼。
  • The freethinker hated the formalist; the lover of liberty detested the disciplinarian. 自由思想者总是不喜欢拘泥形式者,爱好自由者总是憎恶清规戒律者。 来自辞典例句
171 slits 31bba79f17fdf6464659ed627a3088b7     
n.狭长的口子,裂缝( slit的名词复数 )v.切开,撕开( slit的第三人称单数 );在…上开狭长口子
  • He appears to have two slits for eyes. 他眯着两眼。
  • "You go to--Halifax,'she said tensely, her green eyes slits of rage. "你给我滚----滚到远远的地方去!" 她恶狠狠地说,那双绿眼睛冒出了怒火。
172 grunted f18a3a8ced1d857427f2252db2abbeaf     
(猪等)作呼噜声( grunt的过去式和过去分词 ); (指人)发出类似的哼声; 咕哝着说
  • She just grunted, not deigning to look up from the page. 她只咕哝了一声,继续看书,不屑抬起头来看一眼。
  • She grunted some incomprehensible reply. 她咕噜着回答了些令人费解的话。
173 dismally cdb50911b7042de000f0b2207b1b04d0     
  • Fei Little Beard assented dismally. 费小胡子哭丧着脸回答。 来自子夜部分
  • He began to howl dismally. 它就凄凉地吠叫起来。 来自辞典例句
174 forth Hzdz2     
  • The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
  • He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。
175 mimic PD2xc     
  • A parrot can mimic a person's voice.鹦鹉能学人的声音。
  • He used to mimic speech peculiarities of another.他过去总是模仿别人讲话的特点。
176 hunched 532924f1646c4c5850b7c607069be416     
  • He sat with his shoulders hunched up. 他耸起双肩坐着。
  • Stephen hunched down to light a cigarette. 斯蒂芬弓着身子点燃一支烟。
177 miserable g18yk     
  • It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他,这是可耻的。
  • Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。
178 unnatural 5f2zAc     
  • Did her behaviour seem unnatural in any way?她有任何反常表现吗?
  • She has an unnatural smile on her face.她脸上挂着做作的微笑。
179 unnaturally 3ftzAP     
  • Her voice sounded unnaturally loud. 她的嗓音很响亮,但是有点反常。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Her eyes were unnaturally bright. 她的眼睛亮得不自然。 来自《简明英汉词典》
180 tablecloth lqSwh     
  • He sat there ruminating and picking at the tablecloth.他坐在那儿沉思,轻轻地抚弄着桌布。
  • She smoothed down a wrinkled tablecloth.她把起皱的桌布熨平了。
181 snob YFMzo     
  • Going to a private school had made her a snob.上私立学校后,她变得很势利。
  • If you think that way, you are a snob already.如果你那样想的话,你已经是势利小人了。
182 grimace XQVza     
  • The boy stole a look at his father with grimace.那男孩扮着鬼脸偷看了他父亲一眼。
  • Thomas made a grimace after he had tasted the wine.托马斯尝了那葡萄酒后做了个鬼脸。
183 hypocrisy g4qyt     
  • He railed against hypocrisy and greed.他痛斥伪善和贪婪的行为。
  • He accused newspapers of hypocrisy in their treatment of the story.他指责了报纸在报道该新闻时的虚伪。
184 pretensions 9f7f7ffa120fac56a99a9be28790514a     
自称( pretension的名词复数 ); 自命不凡; 要求; 权力
  • The play mocks the pretensions of the new middle class. 这出戏讽刺了新中产阶级的装模作样。
  • The city has unrealistic pretensions to world-class status. 这个城市不切实际地标榜自己为国际都市。
185 concession LXryY     
  • We can not make heavy concession to the matter.我们在这个问题上不能过于让步。
  • That is a great concession.这是很大的让步。
186 credentials credentials     
  • He has long credentials of diplomatic service.他的外交工作资历很深。
  • Both candidates for the job have excellent credentials.此项工作的两个求职者都非常符合资格。
187 horrify sc5x3     
  • His family were horrified by the change.他的家人对这一变化感到震惊。
  • When I saw these figures I was horrified.我看到这些数字时无比惊骇。
188 loyalty gA9xu     
  • She told him the truth from a sense of loyalty.她告诉他真相是出于忠诚。
  • His loyalty to his friends was never in doubt.他对朋友的一片忠心从来没受到怀疑。
189 mansion 8BYxn     
  • The old mansion was built in 1850.这座古宅建于1850年。
  • The mansion has extensive grounds.这大厦四周的庭园广阔。
190 sanity sCwzH     
  • I doubt the sanity of such a plan.我怀疑这个计划是否明智。
  • She managed to keep her sanity throughout the ordeal.在那场磨难中她始终保持神志正常。
191 streaks a961fa635c402b4952940a0218464c02     
n.(与周围有所不同的)条纹( streak的名词复数 );(通常指不好的)特征(倾向);(不断经历成功或失败的)一段时期v.快速移动( streak的第三人称单数 );使布满条纹
  • streaks of grey in her hair 她头上的绺绺白发
  • Bacon has streaks of fat and streaks of lean. 咸肉中有几层肥的和几层瘦的。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
192 bounty EtQzZ     
  • He is famous for his bounty to the poor.他因对穷人慷慨相助而出名。
  • We received a bounty from the government.我们收到政府给予的一笔补助金。
193 incapable w9ZxK     
  • He would be incapable of committing such a cruel deed.他不会做出这么残忍的事。
  • Computers are incapable of creative thought.计算机不会创造性地思维。
194 softening f4d358268f6bd0b278eabb29f2ee5845     
  • Her eyes, softening, caressed his face. 她的眼光变得很温柔了。它们不住地爱抚他的脸。 来自汉英文学 - 家(1-26) - 家(1-26)
  • He might think my brain was softening or something of the kind. 他也许会觉得我婆婆妈妈的,已经成了个软心肠的人了。
195 skittishly e4d7319f58c76ee4a68aaf65189dfea1     
  • The horse pranced around skittishly. 那匹马在周围欢快地腾跃。 来自互联网
196 standing 2hCzgo     
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
197 leashes 2bf3745b69b730e3876947e7fe028b90     
n.拴猎狗的皮带( leash的名词复数 )
  • What! are the people always to be kept on leashes? 究竟是什么一直束缚着人民? 来自互联网
  • But we do need a little freedom from our leashes on occasion. 当然有时也需要不受羁绊和一点点的自由。 来自互联网
198 maroon kBvxb     
  • Five couples were marooned in their caravans when the River Avon broke its banks.埃文河决堤的时候,有5对夫妇被困在了他们的房车里。
  • Robinson Crusoe has been marooned on a desert island for 26 years.鲁滨逊在荒岛上被困了26年。
199 pajamas XmvzDN     
  • At bedtime,I take off my clothes and put on my pajamas.睡觉时,我脱去衣服,换上睡衣。
  • He was wearing striped pajamas.他穿着带条纹的睡衣裤。
200 wheedling ad2d42ff1de84d67e3fc59bee7d33453     
v.骗取(某物),哄骗(某人干某事)( wheedle的现在分词 )
  • He wheedled his way into the building, ie got into it by wheedling. 他靠花言巧语混进了那所楼房。 来自辞典例句
  • An honorable32 weepie uses none of these33) wheedling34) devices. 一部体面的伤感电影用不着这些花招。 来自互联网
201 babbled 689778e071477d0cb30cb4055ecdb09c     
v.喋喋不休( babble的过去式和过去分词 );作潺潺声(如流水);含糊不清地说话;泄漏秘密
  • He babbled the secret out to his friends. 他失口把秘密泄漏给朋友了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • She babbled a few words to him. 她对他说了几句不知所云的话。 来自《简明英汉词典》
202 insanity H6xxf     
  • In his defense he alleged temporary insanity.他伪称一时精神错乱,为自己辩解。
  • He remained in his cell,and this visit only increased the belief in his insanity.他依旧还是住在他的地牢里,这次视察只是更加使人相信他是个疯子了。
203 molested 8f5dc599e4a1e77b1bcd0dfd65265f28     
v.骚扰( molest的过去式和过去分词 );干扰;调戏;猥亵
  • The bigger children in the neighborhood molested the younger ones. 邻居家的大孩子欺负小孩子。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He molested children and was sent to jail. 他猥亵儿童,进了监狱。 来自《简明英汉词典》
204 undo Ok5wj     
  • His pride will undo him some day.他的傲慢总有一天会毁了他。
  • I managed secretly to undo a corner of the parcel.我悄悄地设法解开了包裹的一角。
205 compassion 3q2zZ     
  • He could not help having compassion for the poor creature.他情不自禁地怜悯起那个可怜的人来。
  • Her heart was filled with compassion for the motherless children.她对于没有母亲的孩子们充满了怜悯心。
206 gravy Przzt1     
  • You have spilled gravy on the tablecloth.你把肉汁泼到台布上了。
  • The meat was swimming in gravy.肉泡在浓汁之中。
207 confided 724f3f12e93e38bec4dda1e47c06c3b1     
v.吐露(秘密,心事等)( confide的过去式和过去分词 );(向某人)吐露(隐私、秘密等)
  • She confided all her secrets to her best friend. 她向她最要好的朋友倾吐了自己所有的秘密。
  • He confided to me that he had spent five years in prison. 他私下向我透露,他蹲过五年监狱。 来自《简明英汉词典》
208 cowardice norzB     
  • His cowardice reflects on his character.他的胆怯对他的性格带来不良影响。
  • His refusal to help simply pinpointed his cowardice.他拒绝帮助正显示他的胆小。
209 perfectly 8Mzxb     
  • The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
  • Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。
210 accomplishments 1c15077db46e4d6425b6f78720939d54     
n.造诣;完成( accomplishment的名词复数 );技能;成绩;成就
  • It was one of the President's greatest accomplishments. 那是总统最伟大的成就之一。
  • Among her accomplishments were sewing,cooking,playing the piano and dancing. 她的才能包括缝纫、烹调、弹钢琴和跳舞。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
211 authoritarianism da881fd02d611bdc61362e53f5fff5e1     
  • Modern authoritarianism is a vestige of traditional personal rule. 现代独裁主义则是传统的个人统治的残余。
  • In its latter days it was a byword for authoritarianism, incompetence, and corruption. 在后期,它是独裁、无能和腐化的代号。
212 modish iEIxl     
  • She is always crazy at modish things.她疯狂热爱流行物品。
  • Rhoda's willowy figure,modish straw hat,and fuchsia gloves and shoes surprised Janice.罗达的苗条身材,时髦的草帽,紫红色的手套和鞋使杰妮丝有些惊讶。
213 dreary sk1z6     
  • They live such dreary lives.他们的生活如此乏味。
  • She was tired of hearing the same dreary tale of drunkenness and violence.她听够了那些关于酗酒和暴力的乏味故事。
214 savagely 902f52b3c682f478ddd5202b40afefb9     
adv. 野蛮地,残酷地
  • The roses had been pruned back savagely. 玫瑰被狠狠地修剪了一番。
  • He snarled savagely at her. 他向她狂吼起来。
215 loathing loathing     
n.厌恶,憎恨v.憎恨,厌恶( loathe的现在分词);极不喜欢
  • She looked at her attacker with fear and loathing . 她盯着襲擊她的歹徒,既害怕又憎恨。
  • They looked upon the creature with a loathing undisguised. 他们流露出明显的厌恶看那动物。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
216 witty GMmz0     
  • Her witty remarks added a little salt to the conversation.她的妙语使谈话增添了一些风趣。
  • He scored a bull's-eye in their argument with that witty retort.在他们的辩论中他那一句机智的反驳击中了要害。
217 bishops 391617e5d7bcaaf54a7c2ad3fc490348     
(基督教某些教派管辖大教区的)主教( bishop的名词复数 ); (国际象棋的)象
  • Each player has two bishops at the start of the game. 棋赛开始时,每名棋手有两只象。
  • "Only sheriffs and bishops and rich people and kings, and such like. “他劫富济贫,抢的都是郡长、主教、国王之类的富人。
218 humanitarians 97d02cbefff61ce6d18752c74ab69b72     
n.慈善家( humanitarian的名词复数 )
  • Finally, humanitarians saw it as a means of helping to feed the hungry of the world. 人道主义者把这一计划看成是为世界上那些忍饥挨饿的人提供粮食的一项措施。 来自英汉非文学 - 政府文件
  • All humanitarians fought against slavery. 所有人道主义者都为反对奴隶制而斗争过。 来自互联网
219 sabotage 3Tmzz     
  • They tried to sabotage my birthday party.他们企图破坏我的生日晚会。
  • The fire at the factory was caused by sabotage.那家工厂的火灾是有人蓄意破坏引起的。
220 confession 8Ygye     
  • Her confession was simply tantamount to a casual explanation.她的自白简直等于一篇即席说明。
  • The police used torture to extort a confession from him.警察对他用刑逼供。
221 exhaustion OPezL     
  • She slept the sleep of exhaustion.她因疲劳而酣睡。
  • His exhaustion was obvious when he fell asleep standing.他站着睡着了,显然是太累了。
222 civilized UwRzDg     
  • Racism is abhorrent to a civilized society. 文明社会憎恶种族主义。
  • rising crime in our so-called civilized societies 在我们所谓文明社会中日益增多的犯罪行为
223 overtures 0ed0d32776ccf6fae49696706f6020ad     
n.主动的表示,提议;(向某人做出的)友好表示、姿态或提议( overture的名词复数 );(歌剧、芭蕾舞、音乐剧等的)序曲,前奏曲
  • Their government is making overtures for peace. 他们的政府正在提出和平建议。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He had lately begun to make clumsy yet endearing overtures of friendship. 最近他开始主动表示友好,样子笨拙却又招人喜爱。 来自辞典例句


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