I t is difficult to know quite where to begin this story, but I have fixed1 my choice on a certain Wednesday at luncheonat the Vicarage. The conversation, though in the main irrelevant2 to the matter in hand, yet contained one or twosuggestive incidents which influenced later developments.
I had just finished carving3 some boiled beef (remarkably tough by the way) and on resuming my seat I remarked, ina spirit most unbecoming to my cloth, that anyone who murdered Colonel Protheroe would be doing the world at largea service.
My young nephew, Dennis, said instantly:
“That’ll be remembered against you when the old boy is found bathed in blood. Mary will give evidence, won’tyou, Mary? And describe how you brandished4 the carving knife in a vindictive5 manner.”
Mary, who is in service at the Vicarage as a stepping-stone to better things and higher wages, merely said in a loud,businesslike voice, “Greens,” and thrust a cracked dish at him in a truculent6 manner.
My wife said in a sympathetic voice: “Has he been very trying?”
I did not reply at once, for Mary, setting the greens on the table with a bang, proceeded to thrust a dish ofsingularly moist and unpleasant dumplings under my nose. I said, “No, thank you,” and she deposited the dish with aclatter on the table and left the room.
“It is a pity that I am such a shocking housekeeper,” said my wife, with a tinge7 of genuine regret in her voice.
I was inclined to agree with her. My wife’s name is Griselda—a highly suitable name for a parson’s wife. But therethe suitability ends. She is not in the least meek8.
I have always been of the opinion that a clergyman should be unmarried. Why I should have urged Griselda tomarry me at the end of twenty-four hours’ acquaintance is a mystery to me. Marriage, I have always held, is a seriousaffair, to be entered into only after long deliberation and forethought, and suitability of tastes and inclinations10 is themost important consideration.
Griselda is nearly twenty years younger than myself. She is most distractingly pretty and quite incapable11 of takinganything seriously. She is incompetent12 in every way, and extremely trying to live with. She treats the parish as a kindof huge joke arranged for her amusement. I have endeavoured to form her mind and failed. I am more than everconvinced that celibacy13 is desirable for the clergy9. I have frequently hinted as much to Griselda, but she has onlylaughed.
“My dear,” I said, “if you would only exercise a little care—”
“I do sometimes,” said Griselda. “But, on the whole, I think things go worse when I’m trying. I’m evidently not ahousekeeper by nature. I find it better to leave things to Mary and just make up my mind to be uncomfortable and havenasty things to eat.”
“And what about your husband, my dear?” I said reproachfully, and proceeding14 to follow the example of the devilin quoting Scripture15 for his own ends I added: “She looketh to the ways of her household….”
“Think how lucky you are not to be torn to pieces by lions,” said Griselda, quickly interrupting. “Or burnt at thestake. Bad food and lots of dust and dead wasps16 is really nothing to make a fuss about. Tell me more about ColonelProtheroe. At any rate the early Christians17 were lucky enough not to have churchwardens.”
“Pompous old brute,” said Dennis. “No wonder his first wife ran away from him.”
“I don’t see what else she could do,” said my wife.
“Griselda,” I said sharply. “I will not have you speaking in that way.”
“Darling,” said my wife affectionately. “Tell me about him. What was the trouble? Was it Mr. Hawes’s beckingand nodding and crossing himself every other minute?”
Hawes is our new curate. He has been with us just over three weeks. He has High Church views and fasts onFridays. Colonel Protheroe is a great opposer of ritual in any form.
“Not this time. He did touch on it in passing. No, the whole trouble arose out of Mrs. Price Ridley’s wretchedpound note.”
Mrs. Price Ridley is a devout18 member of my congregation. Attending early service on the anniversary of her son’sdeath, she put a pound note in the offertory bag. Later, reading the amount of the collection posted up, she was painedto observe that one ten-shilling note was the highest item mentioned.
She complained to me about it, and I pointed19 out, very reasonably, that she must have made a mistake.
“We’re none of us so young as we were,” I said, trying to turn it off tactfully. “And we must pay the penalty ofadvancing years.”
Strangely enough, my words only seemed to incense20 her further. She said that things had a very odd look and thatshe was surprised I didn’t think so also. And she flounced away and, I gather, took her troubles to Colonel Protheroe.
Protheroe is the kind of man who enjoys making a fuss on every conceivable occasion. He made a fuss. It is a pity hemade it on a Wednesday. I teach in the Church Day School on Wednesday mornings, a proceeding that causes meacute nervousness and leaves me unsettled for the rest of the day.
“Well, I suppose he must have some fun,” said my wife, with the air of trying to sum up the position impartially21.
“Nobody flutters round him and calls him ‘the dear Vicar,’ and embroiders23 awful slippers24 for him, and gives himbedsocks for Christmas. Both his wife and his daughter are fed up to the teeth with him. I suppose it makes him happyto feel important somewhere.”
“He needn’t be offensive about it,” I said with some heat. “I don’t think he quite realized the implications of whathe was saying. He wants to go over all the Church accounts—in case of defalcations—that was the word he used.
Defalcations! Does he suspect me of embezzling25 the Church funds?”
“Nobody would suspect you of anything, darling,” said Griselda. “You’re so transparently26 above suspicion thatreally it would be a marvellous opportunity. I wish you’d embezzle27 the S.P.G. funds. I hate missionaries—I alwayshave.”
I would have reproved her for that sentiment, but Mary entered at that moment with a partially22 cooked ricepudding. I made a mild protest, but Griselda said that the Japanese always ate half-cooked rice and had marvellousbrains in consequence.
“I dare say,” she said, “that if you had a rice pudding like this every day till Sunday, you’d preach the mostmarvellous sermon.”
“Heaven forbid,” I said with a shudder28.
“Protheroe’s coming over tomorrow evening and we’re going over the accounts together,” I went on. “I must finishpreparing my talk for the C.E.M.S. today. Looking up a reference, I became so engrossed29 in Canon Shirley’s Realitythat I haven’t got on as well as I should. What are you doing this afternoon, Griselda?”
“My duty,” said Griselda. “My duty as the Vicaress. Tea and scandal at four thirty.”
“Who is coming?”
Griselda ticked them off on her fingers with a glow of virtue30 on her face.
“Mrs. Price Ridley, Miss Wetherby, Miss Hartnell, and that terrible Miss Marple.”
“I rather like Miss Marple,” I said. “She has, at least, a sense of humour.”
“She’s the worst cat in the village,” said Griselda. “And she always knows every single thing that happens—anddraws the worst inferences from it.”
Griselda, as I have said, is much younger than I am. At my time of life, one knows that the worst is usually true.
“Well, don’t expect me in for tea, Griselda,” said Dennis.
“Beast!” said Griselda.
“Yes, but look here, the Protheroes really did ask me for tennis today.”
“Beast!” said Griselda again.
Dennis beat a prudent31 retreat and Griselda and I went together into my study.
“I wonder what we shall have for tea,” said Griselda, seating herself on my writing table. “Dr. Stone and MissCram, I suppose, and perhaps Mrs. Lestrange. By the way, I called on her yesterday, but she was out. Yes, I’m sure weshall have Mrs. Lestrange for tea. It’s so mysterious, isn’t it, her arriving like this and taking a house down here, andhardly ever going outside it? Makes one think of detective stories. You know—‘Who was she, the mysterious womanwith the pale, beautiful face? What was her past history? Nobody knew. There was something faintly sinister32 abouther.’ I believe Dr. Haydock knows something about her.”
“You read too many detective stories, Griselda,” I observed mildly.
“What about you?” she retorted. “I was looking everywhere for The Stain on the Stairs the other day when youwere in here writing a sermon. And at last I came in to ask you if you’d seen it anywhere, and what did I find?”
I had the grace to blush.
“I picked it up at random33. A chance sentence caught my eye and….”
“I know those chance sentences,” said Griselda. She quoted impressively, “‘And then a very curious thinghappened—Griselda rose, crossed the room and kissed her elderly husband affectionately.’” She suited the action tothe word.
“Is that a very curious thing?” I inquired.
“Of course it is,” said Griselda. “Do you realize, Len, that I might have married a Cabinet Minister, a Baronet, arich Company Promoter, three subalterns and a ne’er-do-weel with attractive manners, and that instead I chose you?
Didn’t it astonish you very much?”
“At the time it did,” I replied. “I have often wondered why you did it.”
Griselda laughed.
“It made me feel so powerful,” she murmured. “The others thought me simply wonderful and of course it wouldhave been very nice for them to have me. But I’m everything you most dislike and disapprove34 of, and yet you couldn’twithstand me! My vanity couldn’t hold out against that. It’s so much nicer to be a secret and delightful35 sin to anybodythan to be a feather in their cap. I make you frightfully uncomfortable and stir you up the wrong way the whole time,and yet you adore me madly. You adore me madly, don’t you?”
“Naturally I am very fond of you, my dear.”
“Oh! Len, you adore me. Do you remember that day when I stayed up in town and sent you a wire you never gotbecause the postmistress’s sister was having twins and she forgot to send it round? The state you got into and youtelephoned Scotland Yard and made the most frightful36 fuss.”
There are things one hates being reminded of. I had really been strangely foolish on the occasion in question. Isaid:
“If you don’t mind, dear, I want to get on with the C.E.M.S.”
Griselda gave a sigh of intense irritation37, ruffled38 my hair up on end, smoothed it down again, said:
“You don’t deserve me. You really don’t. I’ll have an affair with the artist. I will—really and truly. And then thinkof the scandal in the parish.”
“There’s a good deal already,” I said mildly.
Griselda laughed, blew me a kiss, and departed through the window.
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
fixed
|
|
| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
irrelevant
|
|
| adj.不恰当的，无关系的，不相干的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
carving
|
|
| n.雕刻品，雕花 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
brandished
|
|
| v.挥舞( brandish的过去式和过去分词 )；炫耀 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
vindictive
|
|
| adj.有报仇心的，怀恨的，惩罚的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
truculent
|
|
| adj.野蛮的，粗野的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
tinge
|
|
| vt.(较淡)着色于，染色；使带有…气息；n.淡淡色彩，些微的气息 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
meek
|
|
| adj.温顺的，逆来顺受的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
clergy
|
|
| n.[总称]牧师，神职人员 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
inclinations
|
|
| 倾向( inclination的名词复数 )； 倾斜； 爱好； 斜坡 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
incapable
|
|
| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
incompetent
|
|
| adj.无能力的，不能胜任的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
celibacy
|
|
| n.独身(主义) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
proceeding
|
|
| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
scripture
|
|
| n.经文，圣书，手稿；Scripture:(常用复数)《圣经》，《圣经》中的一段 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
wasps
|
|
| 黄蜂( wasp的名词复数 )； 胡蜂； 易动怒的人； 刻毒的人 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
Christians
|
|
| n.基督教徒( Christian的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
devout
|
|
| adj.虔诚的，虔敬的，衷心的 (n.devoutness) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
pointed
|
|
| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
incense
|
|
| v.激怒；n.香，焚香时的烟，香气 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
impartially
|
|
| adv.公平地，无私地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
partially
|
|
| adv.部分地，从某些方面讲 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
embroiders
|
|
| v.（在织物上）绣花( embroider的第三人称单数 )；刺绣；对…加以渲染（或修饰）；给…添枝加叶 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
slippers
|
|
| n. 拖鞋 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
embezzling
|
|
| v.贪污，盗用（公款）( embezzle的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
transparently
|
|
| 明亮地，显然地，易觉察地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
embezzle
|
|
| vt.贪污，盗用；挪用(公款；公物等) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
shudder
|
|
| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
engrossed
|
|
| adj.全神贯注的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
virtue
|
|
| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
prudent
|
|
| adj.谨慎的，有远见的，精打细算的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
sinister
|
|
| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
random
|
|
| adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
disapprove
|
|
| v.不赞成，不同意，不批准 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
delightful
|
|
| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
frightful
|
|
| adj.可怕的；讨厌的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
irritation
|
|
| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
ruffled
|
|
| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |