II don’t know what the usual reactions are of a man who goes to propose marriage.
In fiction his throat is dry and his collar feels too tight and he is in a pitiable state of nervousness. I didn’t feel at alllike that. Having thought of a good idea I just wanted to get it all settled as soon as possible. I didn’t see any particularneed for embarrassment1.
I went along to the Symmingtons’ house about eleven o’clock. I rang the bell and when Rose came, I asked forMiss Megan. It was the knowing look that Rose gave me that first made me feel slightly shy.
She put me in the little morning room and whilst waiting there I hoped uneasily that they hadn’t been upsettingMegan.
When the door opened and I wheeled round, I was instantly relieved. Megan was not looking shy or upset at all.
Her head was still like a glossy2 chestnut3, and she wore that air of pride and self-respect that she had acquiredyesterday. She was in her old clothes again but she had managed to make them look different. It’s wonderful whatknowledge of her own attractiveness will do for a girl. Megan, I realized suddenly, had grown up.
I suppose I must really have been rather nervous, otherwise I should not have opened the conversation by sayingaffectionately, “Hallo, catfish4!” It was hardly, in the circumstances, a lover-like greeting.
It seemed to suit Megan. She grinned and said, “Hallo!”
“Look here,” I said. “You didn’t get into a row about yesterday, I hope?”
Megan said with assurance, “Oh, no,” and then blinked, and said vaguely5, “Yes, I believe I did. I mean, they said alot of things and seemed to think it had been very odd—but then you know what people are and what fusses they makeall about nothing.”
I was relieved to find that shocked disapproval6 had slipped off Megan like water off a duck’s back.
“I came round this morning,” I said, “because I’ve a suggestion to make. You see I like you a lot, and I think youlike me—”
“Frightfully,” said Megan with rather disquieting7 enthusiasm.
“And we get on awfully8 well together, so I think it would be a good idea if we got married.”
“Oh,” said Megan.
She looked surprised. Just that. Not startled. Not shocked. Just mildly surprised.
“You mean you really want to marry me?” she asked with the air of one getting a thing perfectly9 clear.
“More than anything in the world,” I said—and I meant it.
“You mean, you’re in love with me?”
“I’m in love with you.”
Her eyes were steady and grave. She said:
“I think you’re the nicest person in the world—but I’m not in love with you.”
“I’ll make you love me.”
“That wouldn’t do. I don’t want to be made.”
She paused and then said gravely: “I’m not the sort of wife for you. I’m better at hating than at loving.”
She said it with a queer intensity10.
I said, “Hate doesn’t last. Love does.”
“Is that true?”
“It’s what I believe.”
Again there was a silence. Then I said:
“So it’s ‘No,’ is it?”
“Yes, it’s no.”
“And you don’t encourage me to hope?”
“What would be the good of that?”
“None whatever,” I agreed, “quite redundant11, in fact—because I’m going to hope whether you tell me to or not.”
II
Well, that was that. I walked away from the house feeling slightly dazed but irritatingly conscious of Rose’spassionately interested gaze following me.
Rose had had a good deal to say before I could escape.
That she’d never felt the same since that awful day! That she wouldn’t have stayed except for the children andbeing sorry for poor Mr. Symmington. That she wasn’t going to stay unless they got another maid quick—and theywouldn’t be likely to do that when there had been a murder in the house! That it was all very well for that MissHolland to say she’d do the housework in the meantime. Very sweet and obliging she was—Oh yes, but it wasmistress of the house that she was fancying herself going to be one fine day! Mr. Symmington, poor man, never sawanything—but one knew what a widower12 was, a poor helpless creature made to be the prey13 of a designing woman.
And that it wouldn’t be for want of trying if Miss Holland didn’t step into the dead mistress’s shoes!
I assented14 mechanically to everything, yearning15 to get away and unable to do so because Rose was holding firmlyon to my hat whilst she indulged in her flood of spite.
I wondered if there was any truth in what she said. Had Elsie Holland envisaged16 the possibility of becoming thesecond Mrs. Symmington? Or was she just a decent kindhearted girl doing her best to look after a bereavedhousehold?
The result would quite likely be the same in either case. And why not? Symmington’s young children needed amother—Elsie was a decent soul—beside being quite indecently beautiful—a point which a man might appreciate—even such a stuffed fish as Symmington!
I thought all this, I know, because I was trying to put off thinking about Megan.
You may say that I had gone to ask Megan to marry me in an absurdly complacent17 frame of mind and that Ideserved what I got—but it was not really like that. It was because I felt so assured, so certain, that Megan belonged tome—that she was my business, that to look after her and make her happy and keep her from harm was the only naturalright way of life for me, that I had expected her to feel, too, that she and I belonged to each other.
But I was not giving up. Oh no! Megan was my woman and I was going to have her.
After a moment’s thought, I went to Symmington’s office. Megan might pay no attention to strictures on herconduct, but I would like to get things straight.
Mr. Symmington was disengaged, I was told, and I was shown into his room. By a pinching of the lips, and anadditional stiffness of manner, I gathered that I was not exactly popular at the moment.
“Good morning,” I said. “I’m afraid this isn’t a professional call, but a personal one. I’ll put it plainly. I dare sayyou’ll have realized that I’m in love with Megan. I’ve asked her to marry me and she has refused. But I’m not takingthat as final.”
I saw Symmington’s expression change, and I read his mind with ludicrous ease. Megan was a disharmoniouselement in his house. He was, I felt sure, a just and kindly18 man, and he would never have dreamed of not providing ahome for his dead wife’s daughter. But her marriage to me would certainly be a relief. The frozen halibut thawed19. Hegave me a pale cautious smile.
“Frankly, do you know, Burton, I had no idea of such a thing. I know you’ve taken a lot of notice of her, but we’vealways regarded her as such a child.”
“She’s not a child,” I said shortly.
“No, no, not in years.”
“She can be her age anytime she’s allowed to be,” I said, still slightly angry. “She’s not twenty-one, I know, butshe will be in a month or two. I’ll let you have all the information about myself you want. I’m well off and have ledquite a decent life. I’ll look after her and do all I can to make her happy.”
“Quite—quite. Still, it’s up to Megan herself.”
“She’ll come round in time,” I said. “But I just thought I’d like to get straight with you about it.”
He said he appreciated that, and we parted amicably20.
III
I ran into Miss Emily Barton outside. She had a shopping basket on her arm.
“Good morning, Mr. Burton, I hear you went to London yesterday.”
Yes, she had heard all right. Her eyes were, I thought, kindly, but full of curiosity, too.
“I went to see my doctor,” I said.
Miss Emily smiled.
That smile made little of Marcus Kent. She murmured:
“I hear Megan nearly missed the train. She jumped in when it was going.”
“Helped by me,” I said. “I hauled her in.”
“How lucky you were there. Otherwise there might have been an accident.”
It is extraordinary how much of a fool one gentle inquisitive21 old maiden22 lady can make a man feel!
I was saved further suffering by the onslaught of Mrs. Dane Calthrop. She had her own tame elderly maiden lady intow, but she herself was full of direct speech.
“Good morning,” she said. “I heard you’ve made Megan buy herself some decent clothes? Very sensible of you. Ittakes a man to think of something really practical like that. I’ve been worried about that girl for a long time. Girls withbrains are so liable to turn into morons23, aren’t they?”
With which remarkable24 statement, she shot into the fish shop.
Miss Marple, left standing25 by me, twinkled a little and said:
“Mrs. Dane Calthrop is a very remarkable woman, you know. She’s nearly always right.”
“It makes her rather alarming,” I said.
“Sincerity has that effect,” said Miss Marple.
Mrs. Dane Calthrop shot out of the fish shop again and rejoined us. She was holding a large red lobster26.
“Have you ever seen anything so unlike Mr. Pye?” she said—“very virile27 and handsome, isn’t it?”
IV
I was a little nervous of meeting Joanna but I found when I got home that I needn’t have worried. She was out and shedid not return for lunch. This aggrieved28 Partridge a good deal, who said sourly as she proffered29 two loin chops in anentrée dish: “Miss Burton said specially30 as she was going to be in.”
I ate both chops in an attempt to atone31 for Joanna’s lapse32. All the same, I wondered where my sister was. She hadtaken to be very mysterious about her doings of late.
It was half past three when Joanna burst into the drawing room. I had heard a car stop outside and I half expectedto see Griffith, but the car drove on and Joanna came in alone.
Her face was very red and she seemed upset. I perceived that something had happened.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
Joanna opened her mouth, closed it again, sighed, plumped herself down in a chair and stared in front of her.
She said:
“I’ve had the most awful day.”
“What’s happened?”
“I’ve done the most incredible thing. It was awful—”
“But what—”
“I just started out for a walk, an ordinary walk—I went up over the hill and on to the moor33. I walked miles—I feltlike it. Then I dropped down into a hollow. There’s a farm there—A God-forsaken lonely sort of spot. I was thirstyand I wondered if they’d got any milk or something. So I wandered into the farmyard and then the door opened andOwen came out.”
“Yes?”
“He thought it might be the district nurse. There was a woman in there having a baby. He was expecting the nurseand he’d sent word to her to get hold of another doctor. It—things were going wrong.”
“Yes?”
“So he said—to me. ‘Come on, you’ll do—better than nobody.’ I said I couldn’t, and he said what did I mean? Isaid I’d never done anything like that, that I didn’t know anything—“He said what the hell did that matter? And then he was awful. He turned on me. He said, ‘You’re a woman, aren’tyou? I suppose you can do your durnedest to help another woman?’ And he went on at me—said I’d talked as though Iwas interested in doctoring and had said I wished I was a nurse. ‘All pretty talk, I suppose! You didn’t mean anythingreal by it, but this is real and you’re going to behave like a decent human being and not like a useless ornamentalnitwit!’
“I’ve done the most incredible things, Jerry. Held instruments and boiled them and handed things. I’m so tired Ican hardly stand up. It was dreadful. But he saved her—and the baby. It was born alive. He didn’t think at one time hecould save it. Oh dear!”
Joanna covered her face with her hands.
I contemplated34 her with a certain amount of pleasure and mentally took my hat off to Owen Griffith. He’d broughtJoanna slap up against reality for once.
I said, “There’s a letter for you in the hall. From Paul, I think.”
“Eh?” She paused for a minute and then said, “I’d no idea, Jerry, what doctors had to do. The nerve they’ve got tohave!”
I went out into the hall and brought Joanna her letter. She opened it, glanced vaguely at its contents, and let it drop.
“He was—really—rather wonderful. The way he fought—the way he wouldn’t be beaten! He was rude andhorrible to me—but he was wonderful.”
I observed Paul’s disregarded letter with some pleasure. Plainly, Joanna was cured of Paul.
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1
embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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glossy
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| adj.平滑的；有光泽的 | |
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chestnut
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| n.栗树，栗子 | |
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catfish
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| n.鲶鱼 | |
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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disapproval
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| n.反对，不赞成 | |
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disquieting
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| adj.令人不安的，令人不平静的v.使不安，使忧虑，使烦恼( disquiet的现在分词 ) | |
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awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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redundant
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| adj.多余的，过剩的；(食物)丰富的；被解雇的 | |
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widower
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| n.鳏夫 | |
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prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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assented
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| 同意，赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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envisaged
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| 想像，设想( envisage的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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complacent
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| adj.自满的；自鸣得意的 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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thawed
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| 解冻 | |
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amicably
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| adv.友善地 | |
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inquisitive
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| adj.求知欲强的，好奇的，好寻根究底的 | |
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maiden
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| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
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morons
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| 傻子( moron的名词复数 )； 痴愚者（指心理年龄在8至12岁的成年人） | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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lobster
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| n.龙虾，龙虾肉 | |
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virile
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| adj.男性的；有男性生殖力的；有男子气概的；强有力的 | |
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aggrieved
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| adj.愤愤不平的，受委屈的；悲痛的；（在合法权利方面）受侵害的v.令委屈，令苦恼，侵害( aggrieve的过去式)；令委屈，令苦恼，侵害( aggrieve的过去式和过去分词) | |
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29
proffered
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| v.提供，贡献，提出( proffer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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specially
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| adv.特定地；特殊地；明确地 | |
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31
atone
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| v.赎罪，补偿 | |
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lapse
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| n.过失，流逝，失效，抛弃信仰，间隔；vi.堕落，停止，失效，流逝；vt.使失效 | |
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33
moor
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| n.荒野，沼泽；vt.(使)停泊；vi.停泊 | |
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contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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