My mother lived in the same street she had lived in for the last twentyyears, a street of drab houses all highly respectable1 and devoid2 of any kindof beauty or interest. The front doorstep was nicely whitened and itlooked just the same as usual. It was No. 46. I pressed the front doorbell.
My mother opened the door and stood there looking at me. She looked justthe same as usual, too. Tall and angular, grey hair parted in the middle,mouth like a rattrap, and eyes that were eternally3 suspicious4. She lookedhard as nails. But where I was concerned there was a core of softnesssomewhere in her. She never showed it, not if she could help it, but I’dfound out that it was there. She’d never stopped for a moment wanting meto be different but her wishes were never going to come true. There was aperpetual state of stalemate between us.
“Oh,” she said, “so it’s you.”
“Yes,” I said, “it’s me.”
She drew back a little to let me pass and I came into the house and wenton past the sitting room door and into the kitchen. She followed me andstood looking at me.
“It’s been quite a long time,” she said. “What have you been doing?”
I shrugged5 my shoulders.
“This and that,” I said.
“Ah,” said my mother, “as usual, eh?”
“As usual,” I agreed.
“How many jobs have you had since I saw you last?”
I thought a minute. “Five,” I said.
“I wish you’d grow up.”
“I’m fully6 adult,” I said. “I have chosen my way of life. How have thingsbeen with you?” I added.
“Also as usual,” said my mother.
“Quite well and all that?”
“I’ve no time to waste being ill,” said my mother. Then she said abruptly,“What have you come for?”
“Should I have come for anything in particular?”
“You usually do.”
“I don’t see why you should disapprove7 so strongly of my seeing theworld,” I said.
“Driving luxurious8 cars all over the Continent! Is that your idea of see-ing the world?”
“Certainly.”
“You won’t make much of a success in that. Not if you throw up the jobat a day’s notice and go sick, dumping your clients in some heathen town.”
“How did you know about that?”
“Your firm rang up. They wanted to know if I knew your address.”
“What did they want me for?”
“They wanted to reemploy you I suppose,” said my mother. “I can’tthink why.”
“Because I’m a good driver and the clients like me. Anyway, I couldn’thelp it if I went sick, could I?”
“I don’t know,” said my mother.
Her view clearly was that I could have helped it.
“Why didn’t you report to them when you got back to England?”
“Because I had other fish to fry,” I said.
She raised her eyebrows9. “More notions10 in your head? More wild ideas?
What jobs have you been doing since?”
“Petrol pump. Mechanic in a garage. Temporary clerk, washer-up in asleazy nightclub restaurant.”
“Going down the hill in fact,” said my mother with a kind of grim11 satis-faction.
“Not at all,” I said. “It’s all part of the plan. My plan!”
She sighed. “What would you like, tea or coffee? I’ve got both.”
I plumped12 for coffee. I’ve grown out of the tea-drinking habit. We satthere with our cups in front of us and she took a home-made cake out of atin and cut us each a slice.
“You’re different,” she said, suddenly.
“Me, how?”
“I don’t know, but you’re different. What’s happened?”
“Nothing’s happened. What should have happened?”
“You’re excited,” she said.
“I’m going to rob a bank,” I said.
She was not in the mood to be amused. She merely said:
“No, I’m not afraid of your doing that.”
“Why not? Seems a very easy way of getting rich quickly nowadays.”
“It would need too much work,” she said. “And a lot of planning. Morebrainwork than you’d like to have to do. Not safe enough, either.”
“You think you know all about me,” I said.
“No, I don’t. I don’t really know anything about you, because you and Iare as different as chalk and cheese. But I know when you’re up to some-thing. You’re up to something now. What is it, Micky? Is it a girl?”
“Why should you think it’s a girl?”
“I’ve always known it would happen some day.”
“What do you mean by ‘some day?’ I’ve had lots of girls.”
“Not the way I mean. It’s only been the way of a young man with noth-ing to do. You’ve kept your hand in with girls but you’ve never been reallyserious till now.”
“But you think I’m serious now?”
“Is it a girl, Micky?”
I didn’t meet her eyes. I looked away and said, “In a way.”
“What kind of a girl is she?”
“The right kind for me,” I said.
“Are you going to bring her to see me?”
“No,” I said.
“It’s like that, is it?”
“No, it isn’t. I don’t want to hurt your feelings but—”
“You’re not hurting my feelings. You don’t want me to see her in case Ishould say to you ‘Don’t.’ Is that it?”
“I wouldn’t pay any attention if you did.”
“Maybe not, but it would shake you. It would shake you somewhere in-side because you take notice of what I say and think. There are things I’veguessed about you—and maybe I’ve guessed right and you know it. I’m theonly person in the world who can shake your confidence in yourself. Isthis girl a bad lot who’s got hold of you?”
“Bad lot?” I said and laughed. “If you only saw her! You make melaugh.”
“What do you want from me? You want something. You always do.”
“I want some money,” I said.
“You won’t get it from me. What do you want it for—to spend on thisgirl?”
“No,” I said, “I want to buy a first-class suit to get married in.”
“You’re going to marry her?”
“If she’ll have me.”
That shook her.
“If you’d only tell me something!” she said. “You’ve got it badly, I can seethat. It’s the thing I always feared, that you’d choose the wrong girl.”
“Wrong girl! Hell!” I shouted. I was angry.
I went out of the house and I banged the door.
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1
respectable
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| n.品格高尚的人；adj.值得尊重的，人格高尚的，不少的 | |
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devoid
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| adj.全无的，缺乏的 | |
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3
eternally
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| adv. 不朽地, 永久地 | |
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suspicious
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| adj.可疑的，容易引起怀疑的，猜疑的，疑心的 | |
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5
shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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7
disapprove
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| v.不赞成，不同意，不批准 | |
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8
luxurious
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| adj.精美而昂贵的；豪华的 | |
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9
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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10
notions
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| 缝纫用的杂货（如针、线等）； 概念( notion的名词复数 )； 观念； 突然的念头； 意图 | |
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grim
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| adj.严酷的，令人害怕的，不愉快的，讨厌的 | |
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12
plumped
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| （使）圆胖( plump的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）鼓起； （使）突然沉重地落下； 有信心地选择 | |
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