A week later Bobby had joined Badger1 in London. He had received severalenigmatical communications from Frankie, most in such an illegiblescrawl that he was quite unable to do more than guess at their meaning.
However, their general purport2 seemed to be that Frankie had a plan andthat he (Bobby) was to do nothing until he heard from her. This was aswell, for Bobby would certainly have had no leisure to do anything, sincethe unlucky Badger had already succeeded in embroiling3 himself and hisbusiness in every way ingenuity4 could suggest, and Bobby was kept busydisentangling the extraordinary mess his friend seemed to have got into.
Meanwhile, the young man remained very strictly5 on his guard. The ef-fect of eight grains of morphia was to render their taker extremely suspi-cious of food and drink and had also induced him to bring to London aService revolver, the possession of which was extremely irksome to him.
He was just beginning to feel that the whole thing had been an extravag-ant nightmare when Frankie’s Bentley roared down the Mews and drewup outside the garage. Bobby, in grease-stained overalls6, came out to re-ceive it. Frankie was at the wheel and beside her sat a rather gloomy-look-ing young man.
“Hullo, Bobby,” said Frankie. “This is George Arbuthnot. He’s a doctor,and we shall need him.”
Bobby winced7 slightly as he and George Arbuthnot made faint recogni-tions of each other’s presence.
“Are you sure we’re going to need a doctor?” he asked. “Aren’t you beinga bit pessimistic?”
“I didn’t mean we should need him in that way,” said Frankie. “I needhim for a scheme that I’ve got on. Look here, is there anywhere we can goand talk?”
Bobby looked round him.
“Well, there’s my bedroom,” he said doubtfully.
“Excellent,” said Frankie.
She got out of the car and she and George Arbuthnot followed Bobby upsome outside steps and into a microscopic8 bedroom.
“I don’t know,” said Bobby, looking round dubiously9, “if there’s any-where to sit.”
There was not. The only chair was loaded with, apparently10, the whole ofBobby’s wardrobe.
“The bed will do,” said Frankie.
She plumped down on it. George Arbuthnot did the same and the bedgroaned protestingly.
“I’ve got everything planned out,” said Frankie. “To begin with, we wanta car. One of yours will do.”
“Do you mean you want to buy one of our cars?”
“Yes.”
“That’s really very nice of you, Frankie,” said Bobby, with warm appre-ciation. “But you needn’t. I really do draw the line at sticking my friends.”
“You’ve got it all wrong,” said Frankie. “It isn’t like that at all. I knowwhat you mean—it’s like buying perfectly12 appalling13 clothes and hats fromone’s friends who are just starting in business. A nuisance, but it’s got tobe done. But this isn’t like that at all. I really need a car.”
“What about the Bentley?”
“The Bentley’s no good.”
“You’re mad,” said Bobby.
“No, I’m not. The Bentley’s no good for what I want it for.”
“What’s that?”
“Smashing it up.”
Bobby groaned11 and put a hand to his head.
“I don’t seem very well this morning.”
George Arbuthnot spoke14 for the first time. His voice was deep and mel-ancholy.
“She means,” he said, “that’s she going to have an accident.”
“How does she know?” said Bobby wildly.
Frankie gave an exasperated15 sigh.
“Somehow or other,” she said, “we seem to have started wrong. Nowjust listen quietly, Bobby, and try and take in what I’m going to say. I knowyour brains are practically negligible, but you ought to be able to under-stand if you really concentrate.”
She paused, then resumed.
“I am on the trail of Bassington-ffrench.”
“Hear, hear.”
“Bassington-ffrench—our particular Bassington-ffrench—lives at Merro-way Court at the village of Staverley in Hampshire. Merroway Court be-longs to Bassington- ffrench’s brother, and our Bassington- ffrench livesthere with his brother and his wife.”
“Whose wife?”
“The brother’s wife, of course. That isn’t the point. The point is how areyou or I or both of us is going to worm ourselves into the household. I’vebeen down and reconnoitred the ground. Staverley’s a mere17 village.
Strangers arriving there to stay would stick out a mile. It would be the sortof thing that simply isn’t done. So I’ve evolved a plan. This is what is goingto happen: Lady Frances Derwent, driving her car more recklessly thanwell, crashes into the wall near the gates of Merroway Court. Completewreckage of the car, less complete wreckage18 of Lady Frances, who is car-ried to the house, suffering from concussion19 and shock and must emphat-ically not be moved.”
“Who says so?”
“George. Now you see where George comes in. We can’t risk a strangedoctor saying there is nothing the matter with me. Or perhaps some offi-cious person might pick up my prostrate20 form and take it to some localhospital. No, what happens is this: George is passing, also in a car (you’dbetter sell us a second one), sees the accident, leaps out and takes charge.
‘I am a doctor. Stand back, everybody’ (That is, if there is anybody to standback). ‘We must take her into that house—what is it, Merroway Court?
That will do. I must be able to make a thorough examination.’ I am carriedto the best spare room, the Bassington-ffrenches either sympathetic or bit-terly resisting, but in any case, George will overbear them. George makeshis examination and emerges with his verdict. Happily, it is not as seriousas he thought. No bones broken, but danger of concussion. I must on noaccount be moved for two or three days. After that, I shall be able to re-turn to London.
“And then George departs and it’s up to me to ingratiate myself with thehousehold.”
“And where do I come in?”
“You don’t.”
“But look here—”
“My dear child, do remember that Bassington-ffrench knows you. Hedoesn’t know me from Adam. And I’m in a frightfully strong position, be-cause I’ve got a title. You see how useful that is. I’m not just a stray youngwoman gaining admission to the house for mysterious purposes. I am anearl’s daughter and therefore highly respectable. And George is a real doc-tor and everything is quite above suspicion.”
“Oh! I suppose it’s all right,” said Bobby unhappily.
“It’s a remarkably21 well- planned scheme, I think,” said Frankie withpride.
“And I don’t do anything at all?” asked Bobby.
He still felt injured—much like a dog who has been unexpectedly de-prived of a bone. This, he felt, was his own particular crime, and now hewas being ousted22.
“Of course you do, darling. You grow a moustache.”
“Oh! I grow a moustache, do I?”
“Yes. How long will it take?”
“Two or three weeks, I expect.”
“Heavens! I’d no idea it was such a slow process. Can’t you speed it up?”
“No. Why can’t I wear a false one?”
“They always look so false and they twist or come off or smell of spiritgum. Wait a minute, though, I believe there is a kind you can get stuck onhair by hair, so to speak, that absolutely defies detection. I expect a theat-rical wigmaker would do it for you.”
“He’d probably think I was trying to escape from justice.”
“It doesn’t matter what he thinks.”
“Once I’ve got the moustache, what do I do?”
“Put on a chauffeur23’s uniform and drive the Bentley down to Staverley.”
“Oh, I see.”
Bobby brightened.
“You see my idea is this,” said Frankie: “Nobody looks at a chauffeur inthe way they look at a person. In any case, Bassington-ffrench only sawyou for a minute or two and he must have been too rattled24 wondering ifhe could change the photograph in time to look at you much. You werejust a young golfing ass16 to him. It isn’t like the Caymans who sat oppositeyou and talked to you and who were deliberately25 trying to sum you up. I’dbet anything that seeing you in chauffeur’s uniform, Bassington-ffrenchwouldn’t recognize you even without the moustache. He might just pos-sibly think that your face reminded him of somebody—no more than that.
And with the moustache it ought to be perfectly safe. Now tell me, what doyou think of the plan?”
Bobby turned it over in his mind.
“To tell you the truth, Frankie,” he said generously, “I think it’s prettygood.”
“In that case,” said Frankie briskly. “Let’s go and buy some cars. I say, Ithink George has broken your bed.”
“It doesn’t matter,” said Bobby hospitably26. “It was never a particularlygood bed.”
They descended27 to the garage, where a nervous-looking young man witha curious lack of chin and an agreeable smile greeted them with a vague“Haw, haw, haw!” His general appearance was slightly marred28 by the factthat his eyes had a distinct disinclination to look in the same direction.
“Hullo, Badger,” said Bobby. “You remember Frankie, don’t you?”
Badger clearly didn’t, but he said, “Haw, haw, haw!” again in an amiablemanner.
“Last time I saw you,” said Frankie, “you were head downward in themud and we had to pull you out by the legs.”
“No, not really?” said Badger. “Why, that m-m-must have been W-w-w-wales.”
“Quite right,” said Frankie. “It was.”
“I always was a p-p-putrid r-r-r-rider,” said Badger. “I s-s-s-still am,” headded mournfully.
“Frankie wants to buy a car,” said Bobby.
“Two cars,” said Frankie. “George has got to have one, too. He’s crashedhis at the moment.”
“We can hire him one,” said Bobby.
“Well, come and look at what we’ve got in s-s-stock,” said Badger.
“They look very smart,” said Frankie, dazzled by lurid29 hues30 of scarletand apple-green.
“They look all right,” said Bobby darkly.
“That’s r-r-r-remarkably good value in a s-s-secondhand Chrysler,” saidBadger.
“No, not that one,” said Bobby. “Whatever she buys has got to go at leastforty miles.”
Badger cast his partner a look of reproach.
“The Standard is pretty much on its last legs,” mused31 Bobby. “But I thinkit would just get you there. The Essex is a bit too good for the job. She’ll goat least two hundred before breaking down.”
“All right,” said Frankie. “I’ll have the Standard.”
Badger drew his colleague a little aside.
“W-w-what do you think about p-p-price?” he murmured. “Don’t want tos-s-stick a friend of yours too much. T-t-t-ten pounds?”
“Ten pounds is all right,” said Frankie, entering the discussion. “I’ll payfor it now.”
“Who is she really?” asked Badger in a loud whisper.
Bobby whispered back.
“F-f-f-first time I ever knew anyone with a t-t-t-title who c-c-could paycash,” said Badger with respect.
Bobby followed the other two out to the Bentley.
“When is this business going to take place?” he demanded.
“The sooner the better,” said Frankie. “We thought tomorrow after-noon.”
“Look here, can’t I be there? I’ll put on a beard if you like.”
“Certainly not,” said Frankie. “A beard would probably ruin everythingby falling off at the wrong moment. But I don’t see why you shouldn’t be amotorcyclist—with a lot of cap and goggles32. What do you think, George?”
George Arbuthnot spoke for the second time:
“All right,” he said, “the more the merrier.”
His voice was even more melancholy33 than before.
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1
badger
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| v.一再烦扰，一再要求，纠缠 | |
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purport
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| n.意义，要旨，大要；v.意味著，做为...要旨，要领是... | |
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embroiling
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| v.使（自己或他人）卷入纠纷( embroil的现在分词 ) | |
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ingenuity
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| n.别出心裁；善于发明创造 | |
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5
strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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6
overalls
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| n.（复）工装裤；长罩衣 | |
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7
winced
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| 赶紧避开，畏缩( wince的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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8
microscopic
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| adj.微小的，细微的，极小的，显微的 | |
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dubiously
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| adv.可疑地，怀疑地 | |
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10
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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appalling
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| adj.骇人听闻的，令人震惊的，可怕的 | |
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14
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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exasperated
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| adj.恼怒的 | |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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wreckage
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| n.（失事飞机等的）残骸，破坏，毁坏 | |
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concussion
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| n.脑震荡；震动 | |
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prostrate
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| v.拜倒，平卧，衰竭；adj.拜倒的，平卧的，衰竭的 | |
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remarkably
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| ad.不同寻常地，相当地 | |
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ousted
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| 驱逐( oust的过去式和过去分词 )； 革职； 罢黜； 剥夺 | |
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chauffeur
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| n.(受雇于私人或公司的)司机；v.为…开车 | |
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rattled
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| 慌乱的，恼火的 | |
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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hospitably
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| 亲切地，招待周到地，善于款待地 | |
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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marred
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| adj. 被损毁, 污损的 | |
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lurid
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| adj.可怕的；血红的；苍白的 | |
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30
hues
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| 色彩( hue的名词复数 )； 色调； 信仰； 观点 | |
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mused
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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32
goggles
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| n.护目镜 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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