Mr. and Mrs. Beresford took possession of the offices of the InternationalDetective Agency a few days later. They were on the second floor of asomewhat dilapidated building in Bloomsbury. In the small outer office,Albert relinquished2 the role of a Long Island butler, and took up that of of-fice boy, a part which he played to perfection. A paper bag of sweets, inkyhands, and a tousled head was his conception of the character.
From the outer office, two doors led into inner offices. On one door waspainted the legend “Clerks.” On the other “Private.” Behind the latter wasa small comfortable room furnished with an immense business-like desk,a lot of artistically3 labelled files, all empty, and some solid leather-seatedchairs. Behind the desk sat the pseudo Mr. Blunt trying to look as thoughhe had run a Detective Agency all his life. A telephone, of course, stood athis elbow. Tuppence and he had rehearsed several good telephone effects,and Albert also had his instructions.
In the adjoining room was Tuppence, a typewriter, the necessary tablesand chairs of an inferior type to those in the room of the great Chief, and agas ring for making tea.
Nothing was wanting, in fact, save clients.
Tuppence, in the first ecstasies4 of initiation5, had a few bright hopes.
“It will be too marvellous,” she declared. “We will hunt down murder-ers, and discover the missing family jewels, and find people who’ve disap-peared and detect embezzlers.”
At this point Tommy felt it his duty to strike a more discouraging note.
“Calm yourself, Tuppence, and try to forget the cheap fiction you are inthe habit of reading. Our clientèle, if we have any clientèle at all—will con-sist solely6 of husbands who want their wives shadowed, and wives whowant their husbands shadowed. Evidence for divorce is the sole prop7 ofprivate inquiry8 agents.”
“Ugh!” said Tuppence, wrinkling a fastidious nose. “We shan’t touch di-vorce cases. We must raise the tone of our new profession.”
“Ye-es,” said Tommy doubtfully.
And now a week after installation they compared notes rather ruefully.
“Three idiotic9 women whose husbands go away for weekends,” sighedTommy. “Anyone come whilst I was out at lunch?”
“A fat old man with a flighty wife,” sighed Tuppence sadly. “I’ve read inthe papers for years that the divorce evil was growing, but somehow Inever seemed to realise it until this last week. I’m sick and tired of saying,‘We don’t undertake divorce cases.’ ”
“We’ve put it in the advertisements now,” Tommy reminded her. “So itwon’t be so bad.”
“I’m sure we advertise in the most tempting10 way too,” said Tuppence ina melancholy11 voice. “All the same, I’m not going to be beaten. If necessary,I shall commit a crime myself, and you will detect it.”
“And what good would that do? Think of my feelings when I bid you atender farewell at Bow Street—or is it Vine Street?”
“You are thinking of your bachelor days,” said Tuppence pointedly12.
“The Old Bailey, that is what I mean,” said Tommy.
“Well,” said Tuppence, “something has got to be done about it. Here weare bursting with talent and no chance of exercising it.”
“I always like your cheery optimism, Tuppence. You seem to have nodoubt whatever that you have talent to exercise.”
“Of course,” said Tuppence, opening her eyes very wide.
“And yet you have no expert knowledge whatever.”
“Well, I have read every detective novel that has been published in thelast ten years.”
“So have I,” said Tommy, “but I have a sort of feeling that that wouldn’treally help us much.”
“You always were a pessimist14, Tommy. Belief in oneself — that is thegreat thing.”
“Well, you have got it all right,” said her husband.
“Of course it is easy in detective stories,” said Tuppence thoughtfully,“because one works backwards15. I mean if one knows the solution one canarrange the clues. I wonder now—”
She paused wrinkling her brows.
“Yes?” said Tommy inquiringly.
“I have got a sort of idea,” said Tuppence. “It hasn’t quite come yet, butit’s coming.” She rose resolutely17. “I think I shall go and buy that hat I toldyou about.”
“Oh, God!” said Tommy, “another hat!”
“It’s a very nice one,” said Tuppence with dignity.
She went out with a resolute16 look on her face.
Once or twice in the following days Tommy inquired curiously18 aboutthe idea. Tuppence merely shook her head and told him to give her time.
And then, one glorious morning, the first client arrived, and all else wasforgotten.
There was a knock on the outer door of the office and Albert, who hadjust placed an acid drop between his lips, roared out an indistinct “Comein.” He then swallowed the acid drop whole in his surprise and delight.
For this looked like the Real Thing.
A tall young man, exquisitely19 and beautifully dressed, stood hesitatingin the doorway20.
“A toff, if ever there was one,” said Albert to himself. His judgement insuch matters was good.
The young man was about twenty- four years of age, had beautifullyslicked back hair, a tendency to pink rims21 round the eyes, and practicallyno chin to speak of.
In an ecstasy22, Albert pressed a button under his desk and almost imme-diately a perfect fusilade of typing broke out from the direction of“Clerks.” Tuppence had rushed to the post of duty. The effect of this humof industry was to overawe the young man still further.
“I say,” he remarked. “Is this the whatnot—detective agency—Blunt’sBrilliant Detectives? All that sort of stuff, you know? Eh?”
“Did you want, sir, to speak to Mr. Blunt himself?” inquired Albert, withan air of doubts as to whether such a thing could be managed.
“Well—yes, laddie, that was the jolly old idea. Can it be done?”
“You haven’t an appointment, I suppose?”
The visitor became more and more apologetic.
“Afraid I haven’t.”
“It’s always wise, sir, to ring up on the phone first. Mr. Blunt is so ter-ribly busy. He’s engaged on the telephone at the moment. Called into con-sultation by Scotland Yard.”
The young man seemed suitably impressed.
Albert lowered his voice, and imparted information in a friendly fash-ion.
“Important theft of documents from a Government Office. They wantMr. Blunt to take up the case.”
“Oh! really. I say. He must be no end of a fellow.”
“The Boss, sir,” said Albert, “is It.”
The young man sat down on a hard chair, completely unconscious of thefact that he was being subjected to keen scrutiny24 by two pairs of eyes look-ing through cunningly contrived25 peepholes—those of Tuppence, in the in-tervals of frenzied26 typing, and those of Tommy awaiting the suitable mo-ment.
Presently a bell rang with violence on Albert’s desk.
“The Boss is free now. I will find out whether he can see you,” said Al-bert, and disappeared through the door marked “Private.”
He reappeared immediately.
“Will you come this way, sir?”
The visitor was ushered27 into the private office, and a pleasant- facedyoung man with red hair and an air of brisk capability28 rose to greet him.
“Sit down. You wish to consult me? I am Mr. Blunt.”
“Oh! Really. I say, you’re awfully29 young, aren’t you?”
“The day of the Old Men is over,” said Tommy, waving his hand. “Whocaused the war? The Old Men. Who is responsible for the present state ofunemployment? The Old Men. Who is responsible for every single rottenthing that has happened? Again I say, the Old Men!”
“I expect you are right,” said the client, “I know a fellow who is a poet—at least he says he is a poet—and he always talks like that.”
“Let me tell you this, sir, not a person on my highly trained staff is a dayover twenty-five. That is the truth.”
Since the highly trained staff consisted of Tuppence and Albert, thestatement was truth itself.
“And now—the facts,” said Mr. Blunt.
“I want you to find someone that’s missing,” blurted30 out the young man.
“Quite so. Will you give me the details?”
“Well, you see, it’s rather difficult. I mean, it’s a frightfully delicate busi-ness and all that. She might be frightfully waxy31 about it. I mean—well, it’sso dashed difficult to explain.”
He looked helplessly at Tommy. Tommy felt annoyed. He had been onthe point of going out to lunch, but he foresaw that getting the facts out ofthis client would be a long and tedious business.
“Did she disappear of her own free will, or do you suspect abduction?”
he demanded crisply.
“I don’t know,” said the young man. “I don’t know anything.”
Tommy reached for a pad and pencil.
“First of all,” he said, “will you give me your name? My office boy istrained never to ask names. In that way consultations32 can remain com-pletely confidential33.”
“Oh! rather,” said the young man. “Jolly good idea. My name—er—myname’s Smith.”
“Oh! no,” said Tommy. “The real one, please.”
His visitor looked at him in awe23.
“Er—St. Vincent,” he said. “Lawrence St. Vincent.”
“It’s a curious thing,” said Tommy, “how very few people there arewhose real name is Smith. Personally, I don’t know anyone called Smith.
But nine men out of ten who wish to conceal34 their real name give that ofSmith. I am writing a monograph35 upon the subject.”
At that moment a buzzer36 purred discreetly37 on his desk. That meant thatTuppence was requesting to take hold. Tommy, who wanted his lunch,and who felt profoundly unsympathetic towards Mr. St. Vincent, was onlytoo pleased to relinquish1 the helm.
“Excuse me,” he said, and picked up the telephone.
Across his face there shot rapid changes—surprise, consternation38, slightelation.
“You don’t say so,” he said into the phone. “The Prime Minister himself?
Of course, in that case, I will come round at once.”
He replaced the receiver on the hook, and turned to his client.
“My dear sir, I must ask you to excuse me. A most urgent summons. Ifyou will give the facts of the case to my confidential secretary, she willdeal with them.”
He strode to the adjoining door.
“Miss Robinson.”
Tuppence, very neat and demure39 with smooth black head and daintycollars and cuffs40, tripped in. Tommy made the necessary introductionsand departed.
“A lady you take an interest in has disappeared, I understand, Mr. St.
Vincent,” said Tuppence, in her soft voice, as she sat down and took up Mr.
Blunt’s pad and pencil. “A young lady?”
“Oh! rather,” said St. Vincent. “Young—and—and—awfully good-lookingand all that sort of thing.”
Tuppence’s face grew grave.
“Dear me,” she murmured. “I hope that—”
“You don’t think anything’s really happened to her?” demanded Mr. St.
Vincent, in lively concern.
“Oh! we must hope for the best,” said Tuppence, with a kind of falsecheerfulness which depressed41 Mr. St. Vincent horribly.
“Oh! look here, Miss Robinson. I say, you must do something. Spare noexpense. I wouldn’t have anything happen to her for the world. You seemawfully sympathetic, and I don’t mind telling you in confidence that Isimply worship the ground that girl walks on. She’s a topper, an absolutetopper.”
“Please tell me her name and all about her.”
“Her name’s Jeanette—I don’t know her second name. She works in ahat shop—Madame Violette’s in Brook42 Street—but she’s as straight as theymake them. Has ticked me off no end of times—I went round there yester-day—waiting for her to come out—all the others came, but not her. Then Ifound that she’d never turned up that morning to work at all—sent nomessage either—old Madame was furious about it. I got the address of herlodgings, and I went round there. She hadn’t come home the night before,and they didn’t know where she was. I was simply frantic44. I thought of go-ing to the police. But I knew that Jeanette would be absolutely furious withme for doing that if she were really all right and had gone off on her own.
Then I remembered that she herself had pointed13 out your advertisementto me one day in the paper and told me that one of the women who’d beenin buying hats had simply raved45 about your ability and discretion46 and allthat sort of thing. So I toddled47 along here right away.”
“I see,” said Tuppence. “What is the address of her lodgings43?”
The young man gave it to her.
“That’s all, I think,” said Tuppence reflectively. “That is to say—am I tounderstand that you are engaged to this young lady?”
Mr. St. Vincent turned a brick red.
“Well, no—not exactly. I never said anything. But I can tell you this, Imean to ask her to marry me as soon as ever I see her—if I ever do see heragain.”
Tuppence laid aside her pad.
“Do you wish for our special twenty-four hour service?” she asked inbusinesslike tones.
“What’s that?”
“The fees are doubled, but we put all our available staff onto the case.
Mr. St. Vincent, if the lady is alive, I shall be able to tell you where she isby this time tomorrow.”
“What? I say, that’s wonderful.”
“We only employ experts—and we guarantee results,” said Tuppencecrisply.
“But I say, you know. You must have the most topping staff.”
“Oh! we have,” said Tuppence. “By the way, you haven’t given me a de-scription of the young lady.”
“She’s got the most marvellous hair—sort of golden but very deep, like ajolly old sunset—that’s it, a jolly old sunset. You know, I never noticedthings like sunsets until lately. Poetry too, there’s a lot more in poetry thanI ever thought.”
“Red hair,” said Tuppence unemotionally, writing it down. “What heightshould you say the lady was?”
“Oh! tallish, and she’s got ripping eyes, dark blue, I think. And a sort ofdecided manner with her—takes a fellow up short sometimes.”
Tuppence wrote down a few words more, then closed her notebook androse.
“If you will call here tomorrow at two o’clock, I think we shall havenews of some kind for you,” she said. “Good morning, Mr. St. Vincent.”
When Tommy returned Tuppence was just consulting a page of Debrett.
“I’ve got all the details,” she said succinctly48. “Lawrence St. Vincent is thenephew and heir of the Earl of Cheriton. If we pull this through we shallget publicity49 in the highest places.”
Tommy read through the notes on the pad.
“What do you really think has happened to the girl?” he asked.
“I think,” said Tuppence, “that she has fled at the dictates50 of her heart,feeling that she loves this young man too well for her peace of mind.”
Tommy looked at her doubtfully.
“I know they do it in books,” he said, “but I’ve never known any girl whodid it in real life.”
“No?” said Tuppence. “Well, perhaps you’re right. But I dare sayLawrence St. Vincent will swallow that sort of slush. He’s full of romanticnotions just now. By the way, I guaranteed results in twenty-four hours—our special service.”
“Tuppence—you congenital idiot, what made you do that?”
“The idea just came into my head. I thought it sounded rather well.
Don’t you worry. Leave it to mother. Mother knows best.”
She went out leaving Tommy profoundly dissatisfied.
Presently he rose, sighed, and went out to do what could be done, curs-ing Tuppence’s overfervent imagination.
When he returned weary and jaded51 at half past four, he found Tup-pence extracting a bag of biscuits from their place of concealment52 in oneof the files.
“You look hot and bothered,” she remarked. “What have you been do-ing?”
Tommy groaned53.
“Making a round of the hospitals with that girl’s description.”
“Didn’t I tell you to leave it to me?” demanded Tuppence.
“You can’t find that girl single-handed before two o’clock tomorrow.”
“I can—and what’s more, I have!”
“You have? What do you mean?”
“A simple problem, Watson, very simple indeed.”
“Where is she now?”
Tuppence pointed a hand over her shoulder.
“She’s in my office next door.”
“What is she doing there?”
Tuppence began to laugh.
“Well,” she said, “early training will tell, and with a kettle, a gas ring,and half a pound of tea staring her in the face, the result is a foregone con-clusion.
“You see,” continued Tuppence gently. “Madame Violette’s is where I gofor my hats, and the other day I ran across an old pal54 of hospital daysamongst the girls there. She gave up nursing after the war and started ahat shop, failed, and took this job at Madame Violette’s. We fixed55 up thewhole thing between us. She was to rub the advertisement well into youngSt. Vincent, and then disappear. Wonderful efficiency of Blunt’s BrilliantDetectives. Publicity for us, and the necessary fillip to young St. Vincent tobring him to the point of proposing. Janet was in despair about it.”
“Tuppence,” said Tommy. “You take my breath away! The whole thing isthe most immoral56 business I ever heard of. You aid and abet57 this youngman to marry out of his class—”
“Stuff,” said Tuppence. “Janet is a splendid girl—and the queer thing isthat she really adores that week-kneed young man. You can see with half aglance what his family needs. Some good red blood in it. Janet will be themaking of him. She’ll look after him like a mother, ease down the cocktailsand the night clubs and make him lead a good healthy country gentle-man’s life. Come and meet her.”
Tuppence opened the door of the adjoining office and Tommy followedher.
A tall girl with lovely auburn hair, and a pleasant face, put down thesteaming kettle in her hand, and turned with a smile that disclosed aneven row of white teeth.
“I hope you’ll forgive me, Nurse Cowley — Mrs. Beresford, I mean. Ithought that very likely you’d be quite ready for a cup of tea yourself.
Many’s the pot of tea you’ve made for me in the hospital at three o’clock inthe morning.”
“Tommy,” said Tuppence. “Let me introduce you to my old friend, NurseSmith.”
“Smith, did you say? How curious!” said Tommy shaking hands. “Eh?
Oh! nothing—a little monograph that I was thinking of writing.”
“Pull yourself together, Tommy,” said Tuppence.
She poured him out a cup of tea.
“Now, then, let’s drink together. Here’s to the success of the Interna-tional Detective Agency. Blunt’s Brilliant Detectives! May they never knowfailure!”
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1
relinquish
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| v.放弃，撤回，让与，放手 | |
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relinquished
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| 交出，让给( relinquish的过去式和过去分词 )； 放弃 | |
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artistically
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| adv.艺术性地 | |
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ecstasies
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| 狂喜( ecstasy的名词复数 )； 出神； 入迷； 迷幻药 | |
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initiation
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solely
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prop
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| vt.支撑；n.支柱，支撑物；支持者，靠山 | |
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inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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idiotic
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| adj.白痴的 | |
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tempting
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melancholy
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pointedly
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| adv.尖地，明显地 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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pessimist
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| n.悲观者；悲观主义者；厌世 | |
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backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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resolutely
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| adj.坚决地，果断地 | |
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curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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exquisitely
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| adv.精致地；强烈地；剧烈地；异常地 | |
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doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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rims
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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awe
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scrutiny
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| n.详细检查，仔细观察 | |
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contrived
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frenzied
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ushered
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| v.引，领，陪同( usher的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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capability
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| n.能力；才能；(pl)可发展的能力或特性等 | |
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awfully
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blurted
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| v.突然说出，脱口而出( blurt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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waxy
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consultations
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| n.磋商（会议）( consultation的名词复数 )；商讨会；协商会；查找 | |
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confidential
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| adj.秘（机）密的，表示信任的，担任机密工作的 | |
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conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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monograph
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buzzer
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discreetly
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consternation
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demure
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| adj.严肃的；端庄的 | |
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cuffs
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depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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brook
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lodgings
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frantic
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| adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的 | |
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raved
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| v.胡言乱语( rave的过去式和过去分词 )；愤怒地说；咆哮；痴心地说 | |
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discretion
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| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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toddled
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| v.（幼儿等）东倒西歪地走( toddle的过去式和过去分词 )；蹒跚行走；溜达；散步 | |
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succinctly
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| adv.简洁地；简洁地，简便地 | |
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publicity
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| n.众所周知，闻名；宣传，广告 | |
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dictates
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| n.命令，规定，要求( dictate的名词复数 )v.大声讲或读( dictate的第三人称单数 )；口授；支配；摆布 | |
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51
jaded
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| adj.精疲力竭的；厌倦的；（因过饱或过多而）腻烦的；迟钝的 | |
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concealment
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| n.隐藏, 掩盖，隐瞒 | |
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groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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54
pal
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| n.朋友，伙伴，同志；vi.结为友 | |
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55
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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56
immoral
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| adj.不道德的，淫荡的，荒淫的，有伤风化的 | |
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57
abet
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| v.教唆，鼓励帮助 | |
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