Everybody has been at me, right and left, to write this story, from thegreat (represented by Lord Nasby) to the small (represented by our latemaid-of-all-work, Emily, whom I saw when I was last in England. “Lor,miss, what a beyewtiful book you might make out of it all—just like thepictures!”)
I’ll admit that I’ve certain qualifications for the task. I was mixed up inthe affair from the very beginning, I was in the thick of it all through, andI was triumphantly1 “in at the death.” Very fortunately, too, the gaps that Icannot supply from my own knowledge are amply covered by Sir EustacePedler’s diary, of which he has kindly2 begged me to make use.
So here goes. Anne Beddingfeld starts to narrate3 her adventures.
I’d always longed for adventures. You see, my life had such a dreadfulsameness. My father, Professor Beddingfeld, was one of England’s greatestliving authorities on Primitive4 Man. He really was a genius—everyone ad-mits that. His mind dwelt in Palaeolithic times, and the inconvenience oflife for him was that his body inhabited the modern world. Papa did notcare for modern man—even Neolithic5 Man he despised as a mere6 herderof cattle, and he did not rise to enthusiasm until he reached the Mous-terian period.
Unfortunately one cannot entirely7 dispense8 with modern men. One isforced to have some kind of truck with butchers and bakers9 and milkmenand greengrocers. Therefore, Papa being immersed in the past, Mammahaving died when I was a baby, it fell to me to undertake the practical sideof living. Frankly10, I hate Palaeolithic Man, be he Aurignacian, Mousterian,Chellian, or anything else, and though I typed and revised most of Papa’sNeanderthal Man and his Ancestors, Neanderthal men themselves fill mewith loathing12, and I always reflect what a fortunate circumstance it wasthat they became extinct in remote ages.
I do not know whether Papa guessed my feelings on the subject, prob-ably not, and in any case he would not have been interested. The opinionof other people never interested him in the slightest degree. I think it wasreally a sign of his greatness. In the same way, he lived quite detachedfrom the necessities of daily life. He ate what was put before him in an ex-emplary fashion, but seemed mildly pained when the question of payingfor it arose. We never seemed to have any money. His celebrity13 was not ofthe kind that brought in a cash return. Although he was a fellow of almostevery important society and had rows of letters after his name, the gen-eral public scarcely knew of his existence, and his long- learned books,though adding signally to the sum total of human knowledge, had no at-traction for the masses. Only on one occasion did he leap into the publicgaze. He had read a paper before some society on the subject of the youngof the chimpanzee. The young of the human race show some anthropoidfeatures, whereas the young of the chimpanzee approach more nearly tothe human than the adult chimpanzee does. That seems to show thatwhereas our ancestors were more Simian14 than we are, the chimpanzee’swere of a higher type than the present species—in other words, the chim-panzee is a degenerate15. That enterprising newspaper, the Daily Budget, be-ing hard up for something spicy16, immediately brought itself out with largeheadlines. “We are not descended17 from monkeys, but are monkeys descen-ded from us? Eminent18 Professor says chimpanzees are decadent19 humans.”
Shortly afterwards, a reporter called to see Papa, and endeavoured to in-duce him to write a series of popular articles on the theory. I have seldomseen Papa so angry. He turned the reporter out of the house with scant20 ce-remony, much to my secret sorrow, as we were particularly short ofmoney at the moment. In fact, for a moment I meditated21 running after theyoung man and informing him that my father had changed his mind andwould send the articles in question. I could easily have written them my-self, and the probabilities were that Papa would never have learnt of thetransaction, not being a reader of the Daily Budget. However, I rejectedthis course as being too risky22, so I merely put on my best hat and wentsadly down the village to interview our justly irate23 grocer.
The reporter from the Daily Budget was the only young man who evercame to our house. There were times when I envied Emily, our little ser-vant, who “walked out” whenever occasion offered with a large sailor towhom she was affianced. In between times, to “keep her hand in,” as sheexpressed it, she walked out with the greengrocer’s young man, and thechemist’s assistant. I reflected sadly that I had no one to “keep my handin” with. All Papa’s friends were aged24 Professors — usually with longbeards. It is true that Professor Peterson once clasped me affectionatelyand said I had a “neat little waist” and then tried to kiss me. The phrasealone dated him hopelessly. No self- respecting female has had a “neatlittle waist” since I was in my cradle.
I yearned25 for adventure, for love, for romance, and I seemed con-demned to an existence of drab utility. The village possessed26 a lending lib-rary, full of tattered27 works of fiction, and I enjoyed perils28 and lovemakingat second hand, and went to sleep dreaming of stern silent Rhodesians,and of strong men who always “felled their opponent with a single blow.”
There was no one in the village who even looked as though they could“fell” an opponent, with a single blow or several.
There was the cinema too, with a weekly episode of “The Perils ofPamela.” Pamela was a magnificent young woman. Nothing daunted29 her.
She fell out of aeroplanes, adventured in submarines, climbed skyscrapersand crept about in the Underworld without turning a hair. She was notreally clever, The Master Criminal of the Underworld caught her eachtime, but as he seemed loath11 to knock her on the head in a simple way,and always doomed30 her to death in a sewer31 gas chamber32 or by some newand marvellous means, the hero was always able to rescue her at the be-ginning of the following week’s episode. I used to come out with my headin a delirious33 whirl—and then I would get home and find a notice from theGas Company threatening to cut us off if the outstanding account was notpaid!
And yet, though I did not suspect it, every moment was bringing adven-ture nearer to me.
It is possible that there are many people in the world who have neverheard of the finding of an antique skull34 at the Broken Hill Mine in North-ern Rhodesia. I came down one morning to find Papa excited to the pointof apoplexy. He poured out the whole story to me.
“You understand, Anne? There are undoubtedly35 certain resemblances tothe Java skull, but superficial—superficial only. No, here we have what Ihave always maintained—the ancestral form of the Neanderthal race. Yougrant that the Gibraltar skull is the most primitive of the Neanderthalskulls found? Why? The cradle of the race was in Africa. They passed toEurope—”
“Not marmalade on kippers, Papa,” I said hastily, arresting my parent’sabsentminded hand. “Yes, you were saying?”
“They passed to Europe on—”
Here he broke down with a bad fit of choking, the result of an immoder-ate mouthful of kipper bones.
“But we must start at once,” he declared, as he rose to his feet at the con-clusion of the meal. “There is no time to be lost. We must be on the spot—there are doubtless incalculable finds to be found in the neighbourhood. Ishall be interested to note whether the implements36 are typical of theMousterian period—there will be the remains37 of the primitive ox, I shouldsay, but not those of the woolly rhinoceros38. Yes, a little army will be start-ing soon. We must get ahead of them. You will write to Cook’s today,Anne?”
“What about money, Papa?” I hinted delicately.
He turned a reproachful eye upon me.
“Your point of view always depresses me, my child. We must not be sor-did. No, no, in the cause of science one must not be sordid39.”
“I feel Cook’s might be sordid, Papa.”
Papa looked pained.
“My dear Anne, you will pay them in ready money.”
“I haven’t got any ready money.”
Papa looked thoroughly40 exasperated41.
“My child, I really cannot be bothered with these vulgar money details.
The bank—I had something from the Manager yesterday, saying I hadtwenty-seven pounds.”
“That’s your overdraft42, I fancy.”
“Ah, I have it! Write to my publishers.”
I acquiesced43 doubtfully, Papa’s books bringing in more glory thanmoney. I liked the idea of going to Rhodesia immensely. “Stern silentmen,” I murmured to myself in an ecstasy44. Then something in my parent’sappearance struck me as unusual.
“You have odd boots on, Papa,” I said. “Take off the brown one and puton the other black one. And don’t forget your muffler. It’s a very cold day.”
In a few minutes Papa stalked off, correctly booted and well-mufflered.
He returned late that evening, and, to my dismay, I saw his muffler andovercoat were missing.
“Dear me, Anne, you are quite right. I took them off to go into the cav-ern. One gets so dirty there.”
I nodded feelingly, remembering an occasion when Papa had returnedliterally plastered from head to foot with rich Pleistocene clay.
Our principal reason for settling in Little Hampsley had been the neigh-bourhood of Hampsley Cavern45, a buried cave rich in deposits of the Aurig-nacian culture. We had a tiny museum in the village, and the curator andPapa spent most of their days messing about underground and bringing tolight portions of woolly rhinoceros and cave bear.
Papa coughed badly all the evening, and the following morning I saw hehad a temperature and sent for the doctor.
Poor Papa, he never had a chance. It was double pneumonia46. He diedfour days later.
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1
triumphantly
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| ad.得意洋洋地；得胜地；成功地 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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narrate
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| v.讲，叙述 | |
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primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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neolithic
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| adj.新石器时代的 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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dispense
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| vt.分配，分发；配(药)，发(药)；实施 | |
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bakers
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| n.面包师( baker的名词复数 )；面包店；面包店店主；十三 | |
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frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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loath
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| adj.不愿意的；勉强的 | |
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loathing
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| n.厌恶，憎恨v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的现在分词)；极不喜欢 | |
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celebrity
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| n.名人，名流；著名，名声，名望 | |
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simian
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| adj.似猿猴的；n.类人猿，猴 | |
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degenerate
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| v.退步，堕落；adj.退步的，堕落的；n.堕落者 | |
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spicy
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| adj.加香料的；辛辣的，有风味的 | |
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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eminent
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| adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的 | |
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decadent
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| adj.颓废的，衰落的，堕落的 | |
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scant
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| adj.不充分的，不足的；v.减缩，限制，忽略 | |
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meditated
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| 深思，沉思，冥想( meditate的过去式和过去分词 )； 内心策划，考虑 | |
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risky
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| adj.有风险的，冒险的 | |
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irate
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| adj.发怒的，生气 | |
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aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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yearned
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| 渴望，切盼，向往( yearn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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tattered
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| adj.破旧的，衣衫破的 | |
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perils
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| 极大危险( peril的名词复数 )； 危险的事（或环境） | |
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daunted
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| 使（某人）气馁，威吓( daunt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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sewer
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| n.排水沟，下水道 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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delirious
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| adj.不省人事的，神智昏迷的 | |
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skull
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| n.头骨；颅骨 | |
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undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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implements
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| n.工具( implement的名词复数 )；家具；手段；[法律]履行（契约等）v.实现( implement的第三人称单数 )；执行；贯彻；使生效 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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rhinoceros
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| n.犀牛 | |
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sordid
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| adj.肮脏的，不干净的，卑鄙的，暗淡的 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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exasperated
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| adj.恼怒的 | |
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overdraft
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| n.透支，透支额 | |
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43
acquiesced
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| v.默认，默许( acquiesce的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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cavern
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| n.洞穴，大山洞 | |
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pneumonia
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| n.肺炎 | |
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