Chapter 45

    Once, long ago, she was soft, trusting. She trusted Mrs. Garner¹ and her husband too. She knottedthe earrings² into her underskirt to take along, not so much to wear but to hold. Earrings that madeher believe she could discriminate³ among them. That for every schoolteacher there would be anAmy; that for every pupil there was a Garner, or Bodwin, or even a sheriff, whose touch at herelbow was gentle and who looked away when she nursed. But she had come to believe every oneof Baby Suggs' last words and buried all recollection of them and luck. Paul D dug it up, gave herback her body, kissed her divided back, stirred her rememory and brought her more news: ofclabber, of iron, of roosters' smiling, but when he heard her news, he counted her feet and didn'teven say goodbye.

　　"Don't talk to me, Mr. Sawyer. Don't say nothing to me this morning.""What? What? What? You talking back to me?" "I'm telling you don't say nothing to me." "Youbetter get them pies made."Sethe touched the fruit and picked up the paring knife.

　　When pie juice hit the bottom of the oven and hissed⁴, Sethe was well into the potato salad. Sawyercame in and said, "Not too sweet. You make it too sweet they don't eat it.""Make it the way I always did.""Yeah. Too sweet."None of the sausages came back. The cook had a way with them and Sawyer's Restaurant neverhad leftover⁵ sausage. If Sethe wanted any, she put them aside soon as they were ready. But therewas some passable stew⁶. Problem was, all her pies were sold too. Only rice pudding left and half apan of gingerbread that didn't come out right. Had she been paying attention instead ofdaydreaming all morning, she wouldn't be picking around looking for her dinner like a crab⁷. Shecouldn't read clock time very well, but she knew when the hands were closed in prayer at the top ofthe face she was through for the day. She got a metal-top jar, filled it with stew and wrapped thegingerbread in butcher paper. These she dropped in her outer skirt pockets and began washing up.

　　None of it was anything like what the cook and the two waiters walked off with. Mr. Sawyerincluded midday dinner in the terms of the job — along with $3.4o a week — and she made himunderstand from the beginning she would take her dinner home. But matches, sometimes a bit ofkerosene, a little salt, butter too — these things she took also, once in a while, and felt ashamedbecause she could afford to buy them; she just didn't want the embarrassment⁸ of waiting out backof Phelps store with the others till every white in Ohio was served before the keeper turned to thecluster of Negro faces looking through a hole in his back door. She was ashamed, too, because itwas stealing and Sixo's argument on the subject amused her but didn't change the way she felt; justas it didn't change schoolteacher's mind.

　　"Did you steal that shoat? You stole that shoat." Schoolteacher was quiet but firm, like he was justgoing through the motions — not expecting an answer that mattered. Sixo sat there, not evengetting up to plead or deny. He just sat there, the streak-of-lean in his hand, the gristle clustered inthe tin plate like gemstones — -rough, unpolished, but loot nevertheless.

　　"You stole that shoat, didn't you?""No. Sir." said Sixo, but he had the decency⁹, to keep his eyes on the meat.

　　"You telling me you didn't steal it, and I'm looking right at you?""No, sir. I didn't steal it."Schoolteacher smiled. "Did you kill it?""Yes, sir. I killed it.""Did you butcher it?""Yes, sir.""Did you cook it?""Yes, sir.""Well, then. Did you eat it?""Yes, sir. I sure did.""And you telling me that's not stealing?""No, sir. It ain't.""What is it then?""Improving your property, sir.""What?""Sixo plant rye to give the high piece a better chance. Sixo take and feed the soil, give you morecrop. Sixo take and feed Sixo give you more work."Clever, but schoolteacher beat him anyway to show him that definitions belonged to the definers— not the defined. After Mr. Garner died with a hole in his ear that Mrs. Garner said was an exploded ear drum brought on by stroke and Sixo said was gunpowder¹⁰, everything they touchedwas looked on as stealing. Not just a rifle of corn, or two yard eggs the hen herself didn't evenremember, everything. Schoolteacher took away the guns from the Sweet Home men and, deprivedof game to round out their diet of bread, beans, hominy, vegetables and a little extra at slaughtertime, they began to pilfer¹¹ in earnest, and it became not only their right but their obligation. Setheunderstood it then, but now with a paying job and an employer who was kind enough to hire an ex-convict, she despised herself for the pride that made pilfering¹² better than standing¹³ in line at thewindow of the general store with all the other Negroes. She didn't want to jostle them or be jostledby them. Feel their judgment¹⁴ or their pity, especially now. She touched her forehead with the backof her wrist and blotted¹⁵ the perspiration¹⁶. The workday had come to a close and already she wasfeeling the excitement. Not since that other escape had she felt so alive. Slopping the alley¹⁷ dogs,watching their frenzy¹⁸, she pressed her lips. Today would be a day she would accept a lift, ifanybody on a wagon¹⁹ offered it. No one would, and for sixteen years her pride had not let her ask.

　　But today. Oh, today. Now she wanted speed, to skip over the long walk home and be there. WhenSawyer warned her about being late again, she barely heard him. He used to be a sweet man.

　　Patient, tender in his dealings with his help. But each year, following the death of his son in theWar, he grew more and more crotchety. As though Sethe's dark face was to blame.

　　"Un huh," she said, wondering how she could hurry tine along and get to the no-time waiting forher.

1 garner   

v.收藏；取得

参考例句：

• He has garnered extensive support for his proposals.他的提议得到了广泛的支持。
• Squirrels garner nuts for the winter.松鼠为过冬储存松果。

2 earrings   

n.耳环( earring的名词复数 )；耳坠子

参考例句：

• a pair of earrings 一对耳环
• These earrings snap on with special fastener. 这付耳环是用特制的按扣扣上去的。 来自《简明英汉词典》

3 discriminate   

v.区别，辨别，区分；有区别地对待

参考例句：

• You must learn to discriminate between facts and opinions.你必须学会把事实和看法区分出来。
• They can discriminate hundreds of colours.他们能分辨上百种颜色。

4 hissed   

发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 )； 发嘘声表示反对

参考例句：

• Have you ever been hissed at in the middle of a speech? 你在演讲中有没有被嘘过？
• The iron hissed as it pressed the wet cloth. 熨斗压在湿布上时发出了嘶嘶声。

5 leftover   

n.剩货，残留物，剩饭；adj.残余的

参考例句：

• These narrow roads are a leftover from the days of horse-drawn carriages.这些小道是从马车时代沿用下来的。
• Wonder if that bakery lets us take leftover home.不知道那家糕饼店会不会让我们把卖剩的带回家。

6 stew   

n.炖汤，焖，烦恼；v.炖汤，焖，忧虑

参考例句：

• The stew must be boiled up before serving.炖肉必须煮熟才能上桌。
• There's no need to get in a stew.没有必要烦恼。

7 crab   

n.螃蟹，偏航，脾气乖戾的人，酸苹果；vi.捕蟹，偏航，发牢骚；vt.使偏航，发脾气

参考例句：

• I can't remember when I last had crab.我不记得上次吃蟹是什么时候了。
• The skin on my face felt as hard as a crab's back.我脸上的皮仿佛僵硬了，就象螃蟹的壳似的。

8 embarrassment   

n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫

参考例句：

• She could have died away with embarrassment.她窘迫得要死。
• Coughing at a concert can be a real embarrassment.在音乐会上咳嗽真会使人难堪。

9 decency   

n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重

参考例句：

• His sense of decency and fair play made him refuse the offer.他的正直感和公平竞争意识使他拒绝了这一提议。
• Your behaviour is an affront to public decency.你的行为有伤风化。

10 gunpowder   

n.火药

参考例句：

• Gunpowder was introduced into Europe during the first half of the 14th century.在14世纪上半叶，火药传入欧洲。
• This statement has a strong smell of gunpowder.这是一篇充满火药味的声明。

11 pilfer   

v.盗，偷，窃

参考例句：

• Staff were pilfering behind the bar.店员在柜台后有些小偷小摸的行为。
• When food stores close,they go to work,pilfering food for resale on the black market.食品店关门后，他们就行动起来，偷食品拿到黑市上出售。

12 pilfering   

v.偷窃（小东西），小偷( pilfer的现在分词 )；偷窃（一般指小偷小摸）

参考例句：

• He was caught pilfering. 他行窃时被抓个正着。
• Pilfering has stopped entirely since they put Angus in charge of the stores. 自从他们让安格斯掌管商店以来，小偷小摸就杜绝了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

13 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

14 judgment   

n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见

参考例句：

• The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
• He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。

15 blotted   

涂污( blot的过去式和过去分词 )； （用吸墨纸）吸干

参考例句：

• She blotted water off the table with a towel. 她用毛巾擦干桌上的水。
• The blizzard blotted out the sky and the land. 暴风雪铺天盖地而来。

16 perspiration   

n.汗水；出汗

参考例句：

• It is so hot that my clothes are wet with perspiration.天太热了，我的衣服被汗水湿透了。
• The perspiration was running down my back.汗从我背上淌下来。

17 alley   

n.小巷，胡同；小径，小路

参考例句：

• We live in the same alley.我们住在同一条小巷里。
• The blind alley ended in a brick wall.这条死胡同的尽头是砖墙。

18 frenzy   

n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动

参考例句：

• He was able to work the young students up into a frenzy.他能激起青年学生的狂热。
• They were singing in a frenzy of joy.他们欣喜若狂地高声歌唱。

19 wagon   

n.四轮马车，手推车，面包车；无盖运货列车

参考例句：

• We have to fork the hay into the wagon.我们得把干草用叉子挑进马车里去。
• The muddy road bemired the wagon.马车陷入了泥泞的道路。