Chapter 62

    When once or twice Sethe tried to assert herself — be the unquestioned mother whose word waslaw and who knew what was best — Beloved slammed things, wiped the table clean of plates,threw salt on the floor, broke a windowpane.

　　She was not like them. She was wild game, and nobody said, Get on out of here, girl, and comeback when you get some sense. Nobody said, You raise your hand to me and I will knock you intothe middle of next week. Ax the trunk, the limb will die. Honor thy mother and father that thy daysmay be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. I will wrap you round that doorknob, don't nobody work for you and God don't love ugly ways.

　　No, no. They mended the plates, swept the salt, and little by little it dawned on Denver that if Sethedidn't wake up one morning and pick up a knife, Beloved might. Frightened as she was by thething in Sethe that could come out, it shamed her to see her mother serving a girl not much olderthan herself. When she saw her carrying out Beloved's night bucket, Denver raced to relieve her ofit. But the pain was unbearable¹ when they ran low on food, and Denver watched her mother gowithout — pick-eating around the edges of the table and stove: the hominy that stuck on thebottom; the crusts and rinds and peelings of things. Once she saw her run her longest finger deep inan empty jam jar before rinsing² and putting it away.

　　They grew tired, and even Beloved, who was getting bigger, seemed nevertheless as exhausted³ asthey were. In any case she substituted a snarl⁴ or a tooth-suck for waving a poker⁵ around and 124was quiet. Listless and sleepy with hunger Denver saw the flesh between her mother's forefingerand thumb fade. Saw Sethe's eyes bright but dead, alert but vacant, paying attention to everythingabout Beloved — her lineless palms, her forehead, the smile under her jaw⁶, crooked⁷ and much toolong — everything except her basket-fat stomach. She also saw the sleeves of her own carnivalshirtwaist cover her fingers; hems⁹ that once showed her ankles now swept the floor. She sawthemselves beribboned, decked-out, limp and starving but locked in a love that wore everybodyout. Then Sethe spit up something she had not eaten and it rocked Denver like gunshot. The jobshe started out with, protecting Beloved from Sethe, changed to protecting her mother fromBeloved. Now it was obvious that her mother could die and leave them both and what wouldBeloved do then? Whatever was happening, it only worked with three — not two — and sinceneither Beloved nor Sethe seemed to care what the next day might bring (Sethe happy whenBeloved was; Beloved lapping devotion like cream), Denver knew it was on her. She would haveto leave the yard; step off the edge of the world, leave the two behind and go ask somebody forhelp.

　　Who would it be? Who could she stand in front of who wouldn't shame her on learning that hermother sat around like a rag doll, broke down, finally, from trying to take care of and make up for.

　　Denver knew about several people, from hearing her mother and grandmother talk. But she knew,personally, only two: an old man with white hair called Stamp and Lady Jones. Well, Paul D, ofcourse. And that boy who told her about Sethe. But they wouldn't do at all. Her heart kicked and anitchy burning in her throat made her swallow all her saliva¹⁰ away. She didn't even know which wayto go. When Sethe used to work at the restaurant and when she still had money to shop, she turnedright. Back when Denver went to Lady Jones' school, it was left.

　　The weather was warm; the day beautiful. It was April and everything alive was tentative. Denverwrapped her hair and her shoulders. In the brightest of the carnival⁸ dresses and wearing a stranger'sshoes, she stood on the porch of 124 ready to be swallowed up in the world beyond the edge of theporch. Out there where small things scratched and sometimes touched. Where words could bespoken¹¹ that would close your ears shut. Where, if you were alone, feeling could overtake you andstick to you like a shadow. Out there where there were places in which things so bad had happenedthat when you went near them it would happen again. Like Sweet Home where time didn't pass and where, like her mother said, the bad was waiting for her as well. How would she know theseplaces? What was more — much more — -out there were whitepeople and how could you tellabout them? Sethe said the mouth and sometimes the hands. Grandma Baby said there was nodefense — they could prowl at will, change from one mind to another, and even when they thoughtthey were behaving, it was a far cry from what real humans did.

1 unbearable   

adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的

参考例句：

• It is unbearable to be always on thorns.老是处于焦虑不安的情况中是受不了的。
• The more he thought of it the more unbearable it became.他越想越觉得无法忍受。

2 rinsing   

n.清水，残渣v.漂洗( rinse的现在分词 )；冲洗；用清水漂洗掉（肥皂泡等）；（用清水）冲掉

参考例句：

• Pablo made a swishing noise rinsing wine in his mouth. 巴勃罗用酒漱着口，发出咕噜噜噜的声音。 来自辞典例句
• The absorption of many molecular layers could be reestablished by rinsing the foils with tap water. 多分子层的吸附作用可用自来水淋洗金属箔而重新实现。 来自辞典例句

3 exhausted   

adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的

参考例句：

• It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长，到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
• Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。

4 snarl   

v.吼叫，怒骂，纠缠，混乱；n.混乱，缠结，咆哮

参考例句：

• At the seaside we could hear the snarl of the waves.在海边我们可以听见波涛的咆哮。
• The traffic was all in a snarl near the accident.事故发生处附近交通一片混乱。

5 poker   

n.扑克；vt.烙制

参考例句：

• He was cleared out in the poker game.他打扑克牌，把钱都输光了。
• I'm old enough to play poker and do something with it.我打扑克是老手了，可以玩些花样。

6 jaw   

n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训

参考例句：

• He delivered a right hook to his opponent's jaw.他给了对方下巴一记右钩拳。
• A strong square jaw is a sign of firm character.强健的方下巴是刚毅性格的标志。

7 crooked   

adj.弯曲的；不诚实的，狡猾的，不正当的

参考例句：

• He crooked a finger to tell us to go over to him.他弯了弯手指，示意我们到他那儿去。
• You have to drive slowly on these crooked country roads.在这些弯弯曲曲的乡间小路上你得慢慢开车。

8 carnival   

n.嘉年华会，狂欢，狂欢节，巡回表演

参考例句：

• I got some good shots of the carnival.我有几个狂欢节的精彩镜头。
• Our street puts on a carnival every year.我们街的居民每年举行一次嘉年华会。

9 hems   

布的褶边，贴边( hem的名词复数 )； 短促的咳嗽

参考例句：

• I took the hems of my dresses up to make them shorter. 我把我的连衣裙都改短了。
• Hems must be level unless uneven design feature is requested. 袖口及裤脚卷边位置宽度必须一致（设计有特别要求的除外）。

10 saliva   

n.唾液，口水

参考例句：

• He wiped a dribble of saliva from his chin.他擦掉了下巴上的几滴口水。
• Saliva dribbled from the baby's mouth.唾液从婴儿的嘴里流了出来。

11 bespoken   

v.预定( bespeak的过去分词 )；订（货）；证明；预先请求

参考例句：

• We have bespoken three tickets for tomorrow. 我们已经预定了三张明天的票。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• We have bespoken two tickets for tomorrow. 我们已预订两张明天的票。 来自互联网