They left El Sordo's after eating and started down the trail. El Sordo had walked with them as far as the lower post.
"_Salud_," he said. "Until tonight."
"_Salud, Camarada_," Robert Jordan had said to him and the three of them had gone on down the trail, the deaf man standing1 looking after them. Maria had turned and waved her hand at him and El Sordo waved disparagingly2 with the abrupt3, Spanish upward flick4 of the forearm as though something were being tossed away which seems the negation5 of all salutation which has not to do with business. Through the meal he had never unbuttoned his sheepskin coat and he had been carefully polite, careful to turn his head to hear and had returned to speaking his broken Spanish, asking Robert Jordan about conditions in the Republic politely; but it was obvious he wanted to be rid of them.
As they had left him, Pilar had said to him, "Well, Santiago?"
"Well, nothing, woman," the deaf man said. "It is all right. But I am thinking."
"Me, too," Pilar had said and now as they walked down the trail, the walking easy and pleasant down the steep trail through the pines that they had toiled6 up, Pilar said nothing. Neither Robert Jordan nor Maria spoke7 and the three of them travelled along fast until the trail rose steeply out of the wooded valley to come up through the timber, leave it, and come out into the high meadow.
It was hot in the late May afternoon and halfway8 up this last steep grade the woman stopped. Robert Jordan, stopping and looking back, saw the sweat beading on her forehead. He thought her brown face looked pallid9 and the skin sallow and that there were dark areas under her eyes.
"Let us rest a minute," he said. "We go too fast."
"No," she said. "Let us go on."
"Rest, Pilar," Maria said. "You look badly."
"Shut up," the woman said. "Nobody asked for thy advice."
She started on up the trail but at the top she was breathing heavily and her face was wet with perspiration10 and there was no doubt about her pallor now.
"Sit down, Pilar," Maria said. "Please, please sit down."
"All right," said Pilar and the three of them sat down under a pine tree and looked across the mountain meadow to where the tops of the peaks seemed to jut11 out from the roll of the high country with snow shining bright on them now in the early afternoon sun.
"What rotten stuff is the snow and how beautiful it looks," Pilar said. "What an illusion is the snow." She turned to Maria. "I am sorry I was rude to thee, _guapa_. I don't know what has held me today. I have an evil temper."
"I never mind what you say when you are angry," Maria told her. "And you are angry often."
"Nay, it is worse than anger," Pilar said, looking across at the peaks.
"Thou art not well," Maria said.
"Neither is it that," the woman said. "Come here, guapa, and put thy head in my lap."
Maria moved close to her, put her arms out and folded them as One does who goes to sleep without a pillow and lay with her head on her arms. She turned her face up at Pilar and smiled at her but the big woman looked on across the meadow at the mountains. She stroked the girl's head without looking down at her and ran a blunt finger across the girl's forehead and then around the line of her ear and down the line where the hair grew on her neck.
"You can have her in a little while, _Ingl廥_," she said. Robert Jordan was sitting behind her.
"Do not talk like that," Maria said.
"Yes, he can have thee," Pilar said and looked at neither of them. "I have never wanted thee. But I am jealous."
"Pilar," Maria said. "Do not talk thus."
"He can have thee," Pilar said and ran her finger around the lobe12 of the girl's ear. "But I am very jealous."
"But Pilar," Maria said. "It was thee explained to me there was nothing like that between us."
"There is always something like that," the woman said. "There is always something like something that there should not be. But with me there is not. Truly there is not. I want thy happiness and nothing more."
Maria said nothing but lay there, trying to make her head rest lightly.
"Listen, _guapa_," said Pilar and ran her finger now absently but tracingly over the contours of her cheeks. "Listen, _guapa_, I love thee and he can have thee, I am no _tortillera_ but a woman made for men. That is true. But now it gives me pleasure to say thus, in the daytime, that I care for thee."
"I love thee, too."
"_Qu?va_. Do not talk nonsense. Thou dost not know even of what I speak."
"I know."
"_Qu?va_, that you know. You are for the _Ingl廥_. That is seen and as it should be. That I would have. Anything else I would not have. I do not make perversions13. I only tell you something true. Few people will ever talk to thee truly and no women. I am jealous and say it and it is there. And I say it."
"Do not say it," Maria said. "Do not say it, Pilar."
"_Por qu嶱, do not say it," the woman said, still not looking at either of them. "I will say it until it no longer pleases me to say it. And," she looked down at the girl now, "that time has come already. I do not say it more, you understand?"
"Pilar," Maria said. "Do not talk thus."
"Thou art a very pleasant little rabbit," Pilar said. "And lift thy head now because this silliness is over."
"It was not silly," said Maria. "And my head is well where it is."
"Nay. Lift it," Pilar told her and put her big hands under the girl's head and raised it. "And thou, _Ingl廥?_" she said, still holding the girl's head as she looked across at the mountains. "What cat has eaten thy tongue?"
"No cat," Robert Jordan said.
"What animal then?" She laid the girl's head down on the ground.
"No animal," Robert Jordan told her.
"You swallowed it yourself, eh?"
"I guess so," Robert Jordan said.
"And did you like the taste?" Pilar turned now and grinned at him.
"Not much."
"I thought not," Pilar said. "I _thought_ not. But I give you back our rabbit. Nor ever did I try to take your rabbit. That's a good name for her. I heard you call her that this morning."
Robert Jordan felt his face redden.
"You are a very hard woman," he told her.
"No," Pilar said. "But so simple I am very complicated. Are you very complicated, _Ingl廥?_"
"No. Nor not so simple."
"You please me, _Ingl廥_," Pilar said. Then she smiled and leaned forward and smiled and shook her head. "Now if I could take the rabbit from thee and take thee from the rabbit."
"You could not."
"I know it," Pilar said and smiled again. "Nor would I wish to. But when I was young I could have."
"I believe it."
"You believe it?"
"Surely," Robert Jordan said. "But such talk is nonsense."
"It is not like thee," Maria said.
"I am not much like myself today," Pilar said. "Very little like myself. Thy bridge has given me a headache, _Ingl廥_."
"We can tell it the Headache Bridge," Robert Jordan said. "But I will drop it in that gorge14 like a broken bird cage."
"Good," said Pilar. "Keep on talking like that."
"I'll drop it as you break a banana from which you have removed the skin."
"I could eat a banana now," said Pilar. "Go on, _Ingl廥_. Keep on talking largely."
"There is no need," Robert Jordan said. "Let us get to camp."
"Thy duty," Pilar said. "It will come quickly enough. I said that I would leave the two of you."
"No. I have much to do."
"That is much too and does not take long."
"Shut thy mouth, Pilar," Maria said. "You speak grossly."
"I am gross," Pilar said. "But I am also very delicate. _Soy muy delicada_. I will leave the two of you. And the talk of jealousness is nonsense. I was angry at Joaqu璯 because I saw from his look how ugly I am. I am only jealous that you are nineteen. It is not a jealousy15 which lasts. You will not be nineteen always. Now I go."
She stood up and with a hand on one hip16 looked at Robert Jordan, who was also standing. Maria sat on the ground under the tree, her head dropped forward.
"Let us all go to camp together," Robert Jordan said. "It is better and there is much to do."
Pilar nodded with her head toward Maria, who sat there, her head turned away from them, saying nothing.
Pilar smiled and shrugged17 her shoulders almost imperceptibly and said, "You know the way?"
"I know it," Maria said, not raising her head.
"_Pues me voy_," Pilar said. "Then I am going. We'll have something hearty18 for you to eat, _Ingl廥_."
She started to walk off into the heather of the meadow toward the stream that led down through it toward the camp.
"Wait," Robert Jordan called to her. "It is better that we should all go together."
Maria sat there and said nothing.
Pilar did not turn.
"_Qu?va_, go together," she said. "I will see thee at the camp."
Robert Jordan stood there.
"Is she all right?" he asked Maria. "She looked ill before."
"Let her go," Maria said, her head still down.
"I think I should go with her."
"Let her go," said Maria. "Let her go!"
他们饭后离开“聋子”的营地，开始顺着小路下山。“聋子”一直把他们送到半山的岗哨那儿。“祝你平安，”他说。“今晚见。”
“祝你平安，同志，”罗伯特‘乔丹对他说，他们三人就走下山去，“聋子”站着目送他们。玛丽亚转身向他挥挥手,“聋子”以西班牙人的方式，用前臂突然向上一挥，仿佛轻蔑地扔掉一样东西似的，根本不象在行礼,一点儿也不正经。他吃饭时一直没有解开他那件羊皮外套上的钮扣，他十分注意礼貌,注意转过头来听人说话，又用他那种蹩脚的西班牙语来回答，彬彬有礼地问罗伯特 乔丹关于共和国的情况;但是他显然很想摆脱他们。他们向他告别的时侯，比拉尔对他说,“怎么样，圣地亚哥,“噢，没什么，太太，”“聋子”说。“没问题。不过我正在考虑。”“我也在考虑，”比拉尔说。他们如今穿过松树林，顺着山路轻松愉快地往下走去。他们刚才就是从这条陡削的山路上费力地走来的。比拉尔这时一句话也不说。罗伯特 乔丹和玛丽亚也不开口，他们三人走得很快，穿过树木丛生的山谷后，山路又变得陡了,朝上穿过一个树林子，直通髙坡草地。
那是五月下旬一个炎热的下午，走到最后一段陡峭的山路的中途，那女人停下来了。罗伯特 乔丹停步回头一看,只见她前额上渗着一顆颗汗珠。他发现她棕揭色的脸上失去了血色，皮肤灰黄，眼睛下面有黑圈。
“咱们欧一会几吧。”他说。“咱们走得太快了。”“不，”她说。“继续走吧。”
“歇一会儿吧，比拉尔,玛丽亚说。“你的脸色不好。““别说了，”妇人说。“不用你插嘴。“她拔脚顺着山路向上爬，但是到了顶端，她大口喘着气，脸上全是汗,真是一副病容。
“坐下吧，比拉尔，”玛丽亚说。“求求你，求求你坐下吧。”“好吧，”比拉尔说，于是他们三人坐在一棵松树下，眺望着高坡草地对面那些轰立在层层山峦之上的高峰，那时刚到下午，峰顶积雷在阳光下闪烁着光芒。
“雪这东西真讨厌，可看起来多美呀。”比拉尔说。“雪呀，寘叫人看不透。”她转身对玛丽亚。“我刚才对你很粗鲁，对不起，漂亮的姑娘，我不知道今天是怎么搞的 我脾气很不好。“
“你生气时讲的话我从来不在意，”玛丽亚对她说。“再说，你常常生气。”
“不，比生气更糟，”比拉尔说，眺望着对面的山峰。“你身体不舒服。”玛丽亚说。
“也不是这么回事。”妇人说，“过来，漂亮的姑娘，把脑袋搁在我腿上。”
玛丽亚挨近她，伸出双臂，交迭起来，象人们不用枕头睡觉那样，就用双臂枕着脑袋躺下来。她把脸转过来，仰望着比拉尔，对她微笑，那个大个子女人可仍然凝望着草地对面的群山。她并不低头来看姑娘，只抚摸着姑娘的头,用一个粗大的手指从姑娘的前额上摸过去，然后沿着耳朵边向下一直摸到她脖子上的头发根
“过一会儿，她就是你的了，英国人“她说。罗伯特，乔丹正坐在她背后。
“别这么说，”玛丽亚说，
“是呀，他可以占有你。”比拉尔说，对他们俩谁都不看。“我从来不想要你。不过我感到妒忌。”“比拉尔。”玛丽亚说。“别这么说。”“他可以占有你，”比拉尔说，指头沿着姑娘的耳垂边換着
“不过我非常妒忌。”
“可是比拉尔。”玛丽亚说,“你我之间不会有那种情形，这是你自已对我讲的。”
“那种情形总是有的，”妇人说。“那种情形照说不该有，伹终究难免会有的，不过，我倒没这种心情。真的没有。我要你幸福，只要你幸福。“
玛丽亚没说什么，只是躺在那里,尽量使自己的头轻轻地搁
在她腿上。
“听着，漂亮的姑娘，”比拉尔说，一边心不在焉地用指头抚摸着她的腮帮。“听着，漂亮的姑娘，我爱你，可是他才能占有你，‘我不是摘同性恋爱的，而只是个为男人而生的女人。这是真话。伹是，我现在大白天里把这种话说出来，说我爱你，我心里是舒畅的。”
“我也爱你。”
“什么话。别胡说八道。你根本不僅我是什么意思。”“我僮。”
”你懂什么，你是配英国人的。这“看就知道，也该这样。我就是希望这样，不这样，我就不髙兴。我不摘不正常的性行为。我只不过把真心话告诉你。对你说真心话的人不多，女人根本没有-我感到妒忌，说了出来,就是这么回事。我说了。”“别说出来，”玛丽亚说。“别说出来，比拉尔。”“为什么不说?”妇人说，还是不看他们俩。“我要说,直到不想说为止。还有，”这时，她低头望着姑娘。”好时光已经到啦。我不多说了，你懂吗?”
“比拉尔，”玛丽亚说。“别这么说。”“你是只挺讨人喜欢的小兔子，”比拉尔说。“现在你把头抬起来，因为鑾话已经说完啦。“
“不癱，”玛丽亚说。。再说,我的头搁在这里很好。”“不。抬起头来。”比拉尔对她说,把自己那双大手扰在姑娘豳后,把她的头拾起来。“你怎么不开口,英国人？”她说，仍然托着姑娘的头， 边眺望着对面的群山。“难道你的舌头给猫叼走啦。”
〃不是猫，”罗伯特 乔丹说。
“那么是什么野兽叼了？”她把姑娘的头放在地上。
“不是野兽，”罗伯特 乔丹对她说。
“那你自己吞掉了，呃?”
“我看是吧，”罗伯特‘乔丹说。
“那你觉得味儿好吗？”现在比拉尔转身对他露齿笑着。
“不太好。”
“我看也不好，”比拉尔说。“我，就是不好。不过我还是要把你的小兔子还给你。我从来也没‘要过你的小兔子。这个名字给她起得好。今天早晨我听到你叫她小兔子。”罗伯特”乔丹觉得自己的脸红了。“你这个女人很刻薄，”他对她说。
“不，”比拉尔说。“不过，我是又单纯又复杂。你这个人很复杂吗，英国人，“”
“不。不过也不是那么单纯，“
“你这个人叫我高兴，英国人“比拉尔说。随即她笑了-笑，身体向前倾，又笑着摇摇头。“要是我现在把兔子从你手里抢走，或者把你从兔子手里抢走,怎么办。”“你办不到。”
“这我知道。”比拉尔说着又笑了。“我也不想这样做。不过，我年青的时候办得到。”“这话我相信。”“你信我的话”
“当然，”罗伯特 乔丹说。“不过这是废话“这不象是你说的话，”玛丽亚说。
“今天我不大象我原来的样子，”比拉尔说 “简直一点儿不象我自己了。英国人，你的桥叫我头痛。”
“我们就叫它头痛桥吧，”罗伯特 乔丹说。“可是我要叫它象只破鸟笼似地掉在那峡谷里，”
“好，”比拉尔说。“说话该一直这样。”“我要象你折断一只剥了皮的香蕉似的把它一炸为二。”“我现在很想吃只香蕉，”比拉尔说。“说下去，英国人。尽管说大话吧。”
“不必啦，”罗伯特。乔丹说。“我们回营地去吧。”“你的任务。”比拉尔说，“就在眼前。我说过要让你们俩一起呆一会儿。”
“不。我有不少事要做。 “那也是事呀，花不了很长时间。”“闭上你的嘴，比拉尔，”玛丽亚说。“你说得太过分了。”“我过分。”比拉尔说。“可我也很体贴人呢。我要让你们俩在一起了。妒忌的话是胡扯。我恼恨华金，因为我从他神色上看出来我是多么丑。叫我妒忌的只是你才十九岁。这种妒忌不会长的。你不会老是十九岁的。现在我走了。”
她站起来，一手插在腰上，望着罗伯特“乔丹,他呢,也站起来了。玛丽亚坐在树下,头垂在胸前，
“我们大家一起回营地去吧。”罗伯特’乔丹说。”这样好些,有不少事情要做哪。”
比拉尔朝玛丽亚点点头，玛丽亚坐在那里没说什么,头转同别处。
比拉尔笑笑，差不多使人觉察不到地耸耸肩膀,还说，“你们认得路吗”
“我认得，”玛丽亚仍然低了头说。
“那我走了。”比拉尔说罾“我们要给你多准备些好吃的，英国人。”
她开始走进草地上的石南树丛，朝通向营地的小河走去。“等等。”罗伯特 乔丹喊她。“我们还是一起走好。”玛丽亚坐在那里不作声。比拉尔没转身。 ’.
“一起走，没的事。”她说。“我在营地见你。”罗伯特，乔丹站在那里。
“她身体没事吗?”他问玛丽亚。“她刚才看来病了，““让她走，”玛丽亚说，仍然低着头，“我看我应该踉她一起走。““让她走，”玛丽亚说，“让她一个人走1”
收听单词发音 |
1
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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2
disparagingly
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| adv.以贬抑的口吻，以轻视的态度 | |
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3
abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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4
flick
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| n.快速的轻打，轻打声，弹开；v.轻弹，轻轻拂去，忽然摇动 | |
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5
negation
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| n.否定；否认 | |
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6
toiled
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| 长时间或辛苦地工作( toil的过去式和过去分词 )； 艰难缓慢地移动，跋涉 | |
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7
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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8
halfway
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| adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途 | |
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9
pallid
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| adj.苍白的，呆板的 | |
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10
perspiration
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| n.汗水；出汗 | |
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11
jut
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| v.突出；n.突出，突出物 | |
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12
lobe
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| n.耳垂，（肺，肝等的）叶 | |
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13
perversions
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| n.歪曲( perversion的名词复数 )；变坏；变态心理 | |
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14
gorge
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| n.咽喉，胃，暴食，山峡；v.塞饱，狼吞虎咽地吃 | |
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15
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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16
hip
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| n.臀部，髋；屋脊 | |
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17
shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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18
hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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