It was quite dark when Roberta stole out on Wednesday night to meet Clyde. But before that what qualms1 andmeditations in the face of her willingness and her agreement to do so. For not only was it difficult for her toovercome her own mental scruples2 within, but in addition there was all the trouble in connection with thecommonplace and religious and narrow atmosphere in which she found herself imbedded at the Newtons'. Forsince coming here she had scarcely gone anywhere without Grace Marr. Besides on this occasion--a thing shehad forgotten in talking to Clyde--she had agreed to go with the Newtons and Grace to the Gideon BaptistChurch, where a Wednesday prayer meeting was to be followed by a social with games, cake, tea and ice cream.
In consequence she was troubled severely3 as to how to manage, until it came back to her that a day or two beforeMr. Liggett, in noting how rapid and efficient she was, had observed that at any time she wanted to learn onephase of the stitching operations going on in the next room, he would have her taken in hand by Mrs. Braley,who would teach her. And now that Clyde's invitation and this church affair fell on the same night, she decidedto say that she had an appointment with Mrs. Braley at her home. Only, as she also decided4, she would wait untiljust before dinner Wednesday and then say that Mrs. Braley had invited her to come to her house. Then shecould see Clyde. And by the time the Newtons and Grace returned she could be back. Oh, how it would feel tohave him talk to her--say again as he did in the boat that he never had seen any one look so pretty as she didstanding on the bank and looking for water lilies. Many, many thoughts--vague, dreadful, colorful, came to her-howand where they might go--be--do--from now on, if only she could arrange to be friends with him withoutharm to her or him. If need be, she now decided, she could resign from the factory and get a place somewhereelse--a change which would absolve5 Clyde from any responsibility in regard to her.
There was, however, another mental as well as emotional phase in regard to all this and that related to herclothes. For since coming to Lycurgus she had learned that the more intelligent girls here dressed better than didthose about Biltz and Trippetts Mills. At the same time she had been sending a fair portion of her money to hermother--sufficient to have equipped her exceptionally well, as she now realized, had she retained it. But now thatClyde was swaying her so greatly she was troubled about her looks, and on the evening after her conversationwith him at the mill, she had gone through her small wardrobe, fixing upon a soft blue hat which Clyde had notyet seen, together with a checkered6 blue and white flannel7 skirt and a pair of white canvas shoes purchased theprevious summer at Biltz. Her plan was to wait until the Newtons and Grace had departed for church and thenswiftly dress and leave.
At eight-thirty, when night had finally fallen, she went east along Taylor to Central Avenue, then by a circuitousroute made her way west again to the trysting place. And Clyde was already there. Against an old wooden fencethat enclosed a five-acre cornfield, he was leaning and looking back toward the interesting little city, the lights inso many of the homes of which were aglow8 through the trees. The air was laden9 with spices--the mingledfragrance of many grasses and flowers. There was a light wind stirring in the long swords of the corn at hisback--in the leaves of the trees overhead. And there were stars--the big dipper and the little dipper and the milkyway--sidereal phenomena10 which his mother had pointed11 out to him long ago.
And he was thinking how different was his position here to what it had been in Kansas City. There he had beenso nervous in regard to Hortense Briggs or any girl, really--afraid almost to say a word to any of them. Whereashere, and especially since he had had charge of this stamping room, he had seemed to become aware of the factthat he was more attractive than he had ever thought he was before. Also that the girls were attracted to him and that he was not so much afraid of them. The eyes of Roberta herself showed him this day how much she wasdrawn to him. She was his girl. And when she came, he would put his arms around her and kiss her. And shewould not be able to resist him.
He stood listening, dreaming and watching, the rustling12 corn behind him stirring an old recollection in him, whensuddenly he saw her coming. She looked trim and brisk and yet nervous, and paused at the street end and lookedabout like a frightened and cautious animal. At once Clyde hurried forward toward her and called softly: "Hello.
Gee, it's nice to have you meet me. Did you have any trouble?" He was thinking how much more pleasing shewas than either Hortense Briggs or Rita Dickerman, the one so calculating, the other so sensually free andindiscriminate.
"Did I have any trouble? Oh, didn't I though?" And at once she plunged13 into a full and picturesque14 account, notonly of the mistake in regard to the Newtons' church night and her engagement with them, but of a determinationon the part of Grace Marr not to go to the church social without her, and how she had to fib, oh, so terribly, aboutgoing over to Mrs. Braley's to learn to stitch--a Liggett-Roberta development of which Clyde had heard nothingso far and concerning which he was intensely curious, because at once it raised the thought that already Liggettmight be intending to remove her from under his care. He proceeded to question her about that before he wouldlet her go on with her story, an interest which Roberta noticed and because of which she was very pleased.
"But I can't stay very long, you know," she explained briskly and warmly at the first opportunity, the while Clydelaid hold of her arm and turned toward the river, which was to the north and untenanted this far out. "The BaptistChurch socials never last much beyond ten-thirty or eleven, and they'll be back soon. So I'll have to manage to beback before they are."Then she gave many reasons why it would be unwise for her to be out after ten, reasons which annoyed yetconvinced Clyde by their wisdom. He had been hoping to keep her out longer. But seeing that the time was to bebrief, he was all the keener for a closer contact with her now, and fell to complimenting her on her pretty hat andcape and how becoming they were. At once he tried putting his arm about her waist, but feeling this to be a tooswift advance she removed his arm, or tried to, saying in the softest and most coaxing15 voice "Now, now--that'snot nice, is it? Can't you just hold my arm or let me hold yours?" But he noted16, once she persuaded him todisengage her waist, she took his arm in a clinging, snuggling embrace and measured her stride to his. On theinstant he was thinking how natural and unaffected her manner was now that the ice between them had beenbroken.
And how she went on babbling17! She liked Lycurgus, only she thought it was the most religious town she hadever been in--worse than Biltz or Trippetts Mills that way. And then she had to explain to Clyde what Biltz andTrippetts Mills were like--and her home--a very little, for she did not care to talk about that. And then back to theNewtons and Grace Marr and how they watched her every move. Clyde was thinking as she talked how differentshe was from Hortense Briggs or Rita, or any other girl he had ever known--so much more simple andconfiding--not in any way mushy as was Rita, or brash or vain or pretentious18, as was Hortense, and yet really aspretty and so much sweeter. He could not help thinking if she were smartly dressed how sweet she would be.
And again he was wondering what she would think of him and his attitude toward Hortense in contrast to hisattitude toward her now, if she knew.
"You know," he said at the very first opportunity, "I've been trying to talk to you ever since you came to work atthe factory but you see how very watchful19 every one is. They're the limit. They told me when I came up therethat I mustn't interest myself in any girl working there and so I tried not to. But I just couldn't help this, could I?"He squeezed her arm affectionately, then stopped suddenly and, disengaging his arm from hers, put both hisabout her. "You know, Roberta, I'm crazy about you. I really am. I think you're the dearest, sweetest thing. Oh,say! Do you mind my telling you? Ever since you showed up there, I haven't been able to sleep, nearly. You'vegot such nice eyes and hair. To-night you look just too cute--lovely, I think. Oh, Roberta," suddenly he caughther face between his two hands and kissed her, before really she could evade20 him. Then having done this he heldher while she resisted him, although it was almost impossible for her to do so. Instead she felt as though shewanted to put her arms around him or have him hold her tight, and this mood in regard to him and herselfpuzzled and troubled her. It was awful. What would people think--say--if they knew? She was a bad girl, really,and yet she wanted to be this way--near him--now as never before.
"Oh, you mustn't, Mr. Griffiths," she pleaded. "You really mustn't, you know. Please. Some one might see us. Ithink I hear some one coming. Please, now." She looked about quite frightened, apparently21, while Clyde laughedecstatically. Life had presented him a delicious sweet at last. "You know I never did anything like this before,"she went on. "Honest, I didn't. Please. It's only because you said--"Clyde was pressing her close, not saying anything in reply--his pale face and dark hungry eyes held very close tohers. He kissed her again and again despite her protests, her little mouth and chin and cheeks seeming toobeautiful--too irresistible--then murmured pleadingly, for he was too overcome to speak vigorously.
"Oh, Roberta, dearest, please, please, say that you love me. Please do! I know that you do, Roberta. I can tell.
Please, tell me now. I'm crazy about you. We have so little time."He kissed her again upon the cheek and mouth, and suddenly he felt her relax. She stood quite still andunresisting in his arms. He felt a wonder of something--he could not tell what. All of a sudden he felt tears uponher face, her head sunk to his shoulder, and then he heard her say: "Yes, yes, yes. I do love you. Yes, yes. I do. Ido."There was a sob--half of misery22, half of delight--in her voice and Clyde caught that. He was so touched by herhonesty and simplicity23 that tears sprang to his own eyes. "It's all right, Roberta. It's all right. Please don't cry. Oh,I think you're so sweet. I do. I do, Roberta."He looked up and before him in the east over the low roofs of the city was the thinnest, yellowest topmost arc ofthe rising July moon. It seemed at the moment as though life had given him all--all--that he could possibly askof it.
星期三晚上，罗伯达偷偷地溜出来跟克莱德幽会时，天已经黑下来了。在这以前，尽管她甘心乐意去会面，但她毕竟感到几多疑虑不安。因为，不仅是很难克服自己内心深处种种顾虑，而且，她置身在牛顿夫妇家里，那里庸俗。
虔诚和狭隘的气氛，也会引起种种麻烦。自从她来到这里以后，要不是格雷斯。
玛尔同去的话，她几乎哪儿也不去。殊不知这一次……她跟克莱德说话时却忘记了:
她原来讲定跟牛顿夫妇。格雷斯一块上吉迪恩浸礼会去的，那儿每逢星期三做礼拜，礼拜以后还有一次团契聚会，有各种游戏，以及茶水。点心和冰淇淋招待。
因此，这一晚到底该怎么安排，就叫她煞费苦心。到后来，她才回想到，一两天前利格特先生觉察到她的工作做得又快又好，曾经跟她说:
不拘什么时候，只要她想学隔壁缝纫车间的活儿，他就会关照布雷莉太太教教她。现在，克莱德的约会跟上教堂做礼拜正好碰在同一天晚上，她就决定告诉牛顿夫妇说:
她跟布雷莉太太有约在先，要上她家里去。不过，她还决定要等到星期三吃晚饭以前，才说布雷莉太太约自己上她家里去。这么一来，她就可以跟克莱德相会去了。而且，她还可以赶在牛顿夫妇和格雷斯到家以前，先回来了。啊，再一次听到他跟她说话……如同前次他在小船上说过那样，说他从没见过谁能象她伫立在湖畔凝望睡莲时那么漂亮，该有多美啊。她心头一下子涌起许许多多想法……模糊的。可怕的。异彩纷呈的想法……只要她能跟他交朋友，不论对她自己或是对他本人都是无伤大雅的话，那末，从现在起，不管哪儿他们都可以去，而且可以不时相会，相亲相爱。现在她还决定，必要时，她干脆向这个厂辞退，上别处另觅一个工作……这样一改变，克莱德也就用不着替她承担任何责任了。
不过，这一切还牵涉到另一个心理侧面:
那就是跟她的衣着打扮有关。自从她到莱柯格斯以后，她就知道:
这里许多聪明得很的姑娘，在衣着打扮上若与比尔茨和特里佩茨米尔斯的姑娘相比都要讲究得多。不过，她一向把自己所挣的钱大部分寄给妈妈……现在她知道，她要是把这笔钱给自己留下，就净够自己穿得非常漂亮的了。但如今克莱德已完全征服了她，她对自己的模样儿就很担心了。她跟他在厂里说话后的那个晚上，她在自己小小的衣柜翻检一遍，挑出了克莱德从没有见过的一顶淡蓝色帽子，还有一条带格子的蓝白法兰绒裙子，和一双白帆布鞋，都是去年夏天在比尔茨买的。她打算要等到牛顿夫妇和格雷斯上教堂去后才赶快换装，然后出门去。
到了八点半，天已经全黑了，她沿着泰勒街往东走去，到中央大道，然后绕了道走，往西来到了约定的地点。克莱德早就在那儿了。他身子斜靠围着五英亩玉米田的旧木栅栏，正回头望着这个有趣的小城市，以及透过树木忽闪忽闪的城里的万家灯火。空气里弥漫着香气……很多花草羼杂在一起的芳香。一阵微风掠过克莱德背后一簇簇细长的玉米梗，以及他头顶上的树叶子。天上还有许许多多星星……北斗七星和小北斗星以及银河……这些星辰现象，很早以前他妈妈就指点给他看过。
克莱德心里琢磨，他在这里的地位跟在堪萨斯城时相比，已是不可同日而语。在那里，他对霍丹斯。布里格斯，是的，不论对哪一个姑娘，总是那么怯生生……几乎怕跟她们说一句话。可在这里，尤其是他主管打印间以后，看来他才恍然领悟到这样一个事实:
现在他实际上比他过去的估计还要漂亮得多了。
还有姑娘们向他频送秋波，他也不怎么怕她们了。今天，罗伯达的眼睛就告诉他，她对他该有多么一往情深。她就是他的姑娘啊。她一来了，他就会搂住她，亲吻她。她已是无力抗拒他了。
他伫立在那里，侧耳倾听，举目四望，浮想联翩，他身子背后沙沙作响的玉米，勾起了他对往昔的回忆，就在此刻，他突然看见她走过来了。她显得很整洁活泼，只不过心情有些紧张，在街的尽头歇了一会儿，往四下里张望，活象一只受惊的。胆小的动物。克莱德急忙冲她走过去，低声招呼说:
"哦，你来了，真好。你碰上什么麻烦来着?
"他心里想，她可比霍丹斯。布里格斯或是丽达。迪克曼更要惹人喜爱，因为后面两个女人，一个太工于心计，另一个则过于放荡不羁。
"我有没有碰上什么麻烦?
哦，好象我没有碰上似的。"于是她详详细细。绘声绘色地谈了起来;不仅谈到她约好同牛顿夫妇上教堂的事都给忘掉了，而且还谈到格雷斯。玛尔一个劲儿要扯着她非去教堂参加团契聚会不可。此外还有她如何不得不撒了谎，哦，多么可怕，胡说她要上布雷莉太太那儿去学缝纫……利格特向罗伯达提起过的这个事情，克莱德至今还不知道。因此，他对此事非常关注，因为，这一下子让他想到:
利格特可能打算要把她从他手下调走。他便先询问她这件事，随后再让她继续谈她自个儿的事。罗伯达觉察到他对这事很感兴趣，因此她也很高兴。
"不过，您也知道，我来这里时间不能待得太久，"她一开口就活泼泼。热乎乎地向他这么说。克莱德抓住她的胳臂，转过身来朝河边走去，往北那一带几乎还无人居住哩。"浸礼会团契聚会结束，从没有超过十点半或是十一点的，他们一会儿就要回来了。在他们回来以前，我就怎么也得先回去。"随后，她列举出许多理由，说明为什么十点钟以后还不回家对她来说是很不恰当的。这些理由尽管克莱德觉得很恼火，可又让他不能不信服。本来他希望她多待一些时间。不过，他一知道会面时间很短，就更加恨不得要跟她马上亲热起来。于是，他就开口称赞她那漂亮的帽子和披肩，说她戴上这些该有多么好看。他马上想用手搂住她的腰，不过，她觉得这样来得太快了，便把他的手挪开，或者说，她竭力要把他的手挪开，并且用非常温柔而又甘言劝诱的声调说:
"哦，哦……这样不好吗?
难道说您挽住我的胳臂，或是我挽住您的胳臂，不好吗?
"不过，他觉察到，她说服他不再搂住她腰以后，她就马上挽住他的胳臂，紧紧偎依着他，肩并肩地往前走去。他一下子感到她的态度多么自然，一点儿不做作，说明他们俩之间早已涣然冰释了。
她一说起话来，总是滔滔不绝!
她喜欢莱柯格斯，只不过觉得在她所到过的城市中就数这里最最恪守宗教教规了……从这一点来说，莱柯格斯可比特里佩茨米尔斯。比尔茨差劲。随后，她还得把比尔茨。特里佩茨米尔斯的情况讲给克莱德听……以及她家里的境况也要讲一讲，不过讲得很少，因为她压根儿不乐意多讲。以后又讲到牛顿夫妇。格雷斯。玛尔，以及他们怎样都在密切注视她的一举一动。在她谈话时，克莱德暗自思忖，她跟霍丹斯。布里格斯。丽达或是他认识的任何一个姑娘相比，该有多么不一样……她可要单纯得多，诚实得多……完全不象丽达那样淫佚放荡，不象霍丹斯那样轻率。爱好虚荣与装腔作势，可她说真的还那样漂亮，而且更要美得多。他不由得想到，她要是穿得漂亮些，看起来一定更加可爱。他又在暗自寻思:
她要是知道霍丹斯其人其事，并且跟他现在对她的态度相比的话，那末，她对于他本人，以及他对霍丹斯的态度又会作何感想呢。
"你知道，"他一抓住机会就说，"自从你来厂里以后，我就一直想跟你说话。
不过，你自己也知道，每个人都是瞪起两眼直瞅着。这真太气人啦。我刚走上这个岗位时，人家跟我说，对于在这里干活的女工，不论是哪一个，我都不得动念头，我也就照办不误。不过这一回，我自己实在也按捺不住了，是不是?
"他怪亲昵地捏了一下她的胳臂，接着突然一松手，让自己胳臂抽了回来，又一下子搂住了她。"你知道吗，罗伯达，我为了你简直想疯了。真的就是这样。我觉得你是天底下最最迷人。最最可爱的人。哦，你听着，先别生气，我就老实告诉你，好吗?
自从你上这儿以后，我简直连睡觉都睡不好。这是实话……实实在在就是这样。我总是想啊想，想着你。你的眼睛。头发，就是这么漂亮。今儿晚上，你太迷人了……我说，太可爱了。哦，罗伯达。"他突然两手捂住她的脸儿亲吻起来，实在使她躲闪不及。亲吻以后，他紧紧搂住她，她竭力挣扎着，其实，她怎么也都挣脱不了。恰好相反，她心里似乎很想用双手紧紧搂住他，或是希望他紧紧地搂住她。她上面这种心态，连她自己也都觉得困惑不安。这可太可怕了。比方说，人家要是知道了，那又会怎么想。怎么说?
当然罗，她就是一个坏姑娘啦;不过，她心里巴不得就是这样……紧紧偎依在他身边……过去她从来没想到会这样的。
"哦，千万别这样，格里菲思先生，"她恳求说。"说实在的，您别这样，好吗?
高抬贵手吧。说不定会有人看见我们。好象我听见有人走过来。得了，得了。
"她举目四望，显然很骇怕似的，克莱德却兴高采烈地大笑起来。生活终于送给了他一个可爱的美人儿。"听我说，过去我从来没有做过类似这样的事，"她继续说道。"说实话，我从来没有过。请您快撒手。这就是因为您说了……"克莱德紧紧地把她抱住，一句话也没有回答……他那苍白的脸孔，饥渴的黑眼睛，紧紧地逼视着她。他一次又一次地亲吻她，不管她再三挣扎反抗;她的那口小嘴。她的下巴。她的两颊，就是太美了……太诱人了……随后，他只好恳求似的轻声耳语，因为这时他早已被勾魂摄魄，没有力气再大声说话了。
"哦，罗伯达，我最亲爱的人儿，得了，我求求你，就说你爱我啦。我求求你快说呀!
我知道你是爱我的，罗伯达。这我很清楚。我求求你，现在你就跟我说吧。我为了你简直都快想疯了。我们会面的时间，又是这么短暂。
"他又一次亲吻她的双颊。她的小嘴，蓦地他觉得她全身已酥软下来。她伫立在那里，一声不响，在他怀里一点儿也不抗拒。他体味到一种奇妙的感觉……可他就是说不出是什么滋味儿。他突然觉得她脸上泪水涟涟，她的头倒在他肩头上;他听见她说:
"是啊，是啊，是啊。我是爱您。是啊，是啊。我是爱您啊。
我是爱您啊。"从她的话里听得出呜咽声……不知是出于痛苦呢，还是出于喜悦……反正克莱德已觉察到那一点。瞧她是这样诚实。单纯，他深为感动，禁不住也热泪夺眶而出。"哦，一切都会好的，罗伯达。一切都会好的。请你千万别哭。哦，我说你真的太可爱呀。真的，真的，罗伯达。"他一抬眼，瞧见东边城里一片低矮的屋脊上，悬着七月间冉冉升起的一弯黄澄澄的月牙儿。在这一瞬间，他仿佛觉得生活把一切……他完全可以向生活索取的一切……已经给予他了。
收听单词发音 |
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qualms
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| n.不安；内疚 | |
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scruples
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| n.良心上的不安( scruple的名词复数 )；顾虑，顾忌v.感到于心不安，有顾忌( scruple的第三人称单数 ) | |
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severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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absolve
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| v.赦免，解除（责任等） | |
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checkered
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| adj.有方格图案的 | |
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flannel
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| n.法兰绒；法兰绒衣服 | |
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aglow
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| adj.发亮的；发红的；adv.发亮地 | |
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laden
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| adj.装满了的；充满了的；负了重担的；苦恼的 | |
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phenomena
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| n.现象 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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rustling
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| n. 瑟瑟声，沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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picturesque
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| adj.美丽如画的，（语言）生动的，绘声绘色的 | |
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coaxing
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| v.哄，用好话劝说( coax的现在分词 )；巧言骗取；哄劝，劝诱；“锻炼”效应 | |
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noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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babbling
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| n.胡说，婴儿发出的咿哑声adj.胡说的v.喋喋不休( babble的现在分词 )；作潺潺声（如流水）；含糊不清地说话；泄漏秘密 | |
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pretentious
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| adj.自命不凡的，自负的，炫耀的 | |
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watchful
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| adj.注意的，警惕的 | |
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evade
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| vt.逃避，回避；避开，躲避 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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